


Remember When

by darkin520



Category: seaQuest
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Romance, Sci-Fi, Spiritual, Supernatural - Freeform, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-02-28
Packaged: 2018-05-23 18:58:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 65
Words: 232,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6126836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkin520/pseuds/darkin520
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The seaQuest crew is forced to solve a murder over seventy-five years old in a rather unexpected way. First season, canon.  *COMPLETE*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One Foot On The Narrow Way

**November 25, 2019**

It had been a week since Cynthia, Malique, and the children had left on launches, and things on the boat had gone back to normal. Unfortunately, they'd also been rather boring. There were no rescue missions of any sort, and the _seaQuest_ was simply patrolling. There wasn't much fun in that.

But at the morning staff meeting, Nathan made an announcement. "We'll be spending a few days in Pearl for routine maintenance." He looked directly at Ben Krieg. "Although we'll have a bit of free time, it is _not_ intended as a vacation. There will be plenty of work to do around the base, and you're all expected to report to duty as normal."

"And I would never consider otherwise, Captain," Ben answered in an over-compensating manner.

Nathan rolled his eyes slightly. "Whatever you say, Mr. Krieg. We should be arriving by 0900 hours tomorrow morning. Until then, business around here will go as scheduled. Is that understood?" Again, Nathan gave Ben a look.

"What?" Ben answered innocently. But he then recovered, "Yes, sir."

Nathan's eyes twinkled with amusement. "I just needed to be sure we were all on the same page. All dismissed."

As the senior staff began filing out of the ward room, Kristin lingered behind. She waited until everyone had left, then approached Nathan. A few days in Pearl Harbor meant something else, and she hoped to get his approval.

She waited until Nathan turned to her. He immediately noticed the smile on her face. "The news excites you, does it?"

"You know me so well. I was thinking…"

"You never stop thinking, do you?" he teased.

She gave him a look. "Nathan."

"Very well; I'm listening," he replied.

She took a breath and said again, "I was thinking since you'll all be busy with military work, well, there's no reason I can't do some work of my own."

"Of course not," Nathan said with a shrug. "But why are you telling me? You've always done as you saw fit when it comes to your research, and I don't see why it should change now."

She gave him a mysterious smile. "Because I was hoping you'd help me, that is, when you're allowed free time. And, I thought it would be a learning experience for Lucas. But, how am I going to convince a hormonal teenager to be more interested in science over the bikini-clad young women walking the beaches?"

"And that's where I come in?" Nathan guessed.

"That, and I thought you'd want to come dive with us."

"Dive?"

She nodded. "The reefs around Pearl are just swimming with life, no pun intended. It would definitely be a great benefit to my research…and the others would find a dive relaxing."

"So, you want the whole crew involved?"

"As many as we can round up, yes," she replied. "The more helpers we have, the more specimens we can catalog. What do you say?"

She gave Nathan that look, the one he just couldn't refuse. He knew Bill was going to have him working as much as possible, but he couldn't say no to Kristin either. "Fine, I'll do what I can."

She let out a little whoop of joy and gave him a tight hug. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. I promise, you won't be disappointed." She started running out of the room, now ecstatic that she had something more exciting to look forward to. "And don't forget to talk to Lucas," she added.

"I won't," Nathan promised, a smile coming to his face over how excited Kristin was now. He only hoped he could convince the crew to show as much enthusiasm. He quickly headed to the bridge.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once he was off-duty, Nathan walked into the mess hall for dinner. He was rather pleased to see the senior staff sitting together, so he took a seat at the table as well, sitting between Kristin and Lucas.

"So, are you excited about our trip?" Nathan asked Lucas, taking a bite out of his veggie burger.

"I guess," Lucas answered, "except the doc has tried to convince me that going diving will be more fun than cruising the beaches."

Nathan raised an eyebrow and looked at Kristin.

"I told you so," Kristin muttered under her breath. " _Hormone-crazed_."

Nathan sighed. "I did say this wasn't a vacation."

"Yeah, for all of _them_ ," Lucas said, motioning to the rest of the senior staff. "But technically, I'm a civilian."

"On a military vessel," Nathan reminded him. "And you're also a member of the science staff, which means you are to follow the doctor's orders."

Lucas frowned. "So, that means I don't get any beach time?"

Kristin took one look at the young man and noticed a slight pout on his face. She reached her hand out and rested it on top of his. "Look, I'm not trying to torture you, really. I just want to show you how wonderful the exploration of the reefs can be. I'll tell you what; you promise to help me, and I'll make sure you get some beach time where I won't be hovering over you, deal?"

Lucas smiled. That was a good compromise. "Okay, deal."

She patted his hand, feeling satisfied before pulling away. "Oh, good," she replied with a sigh of relief. Then she added, "Besides, you may never know what we might find. Perhaps even buried treasure."

The others chuckled softly to which Kristin saw as her golden opportunity. Maybe she wouldn't need Nathan's help after all.

"And, if we did find anything, I'm sure we could split the profits."

A hush fell over the group as they pondered on this.

Finally, Ben spoke up, "Did…did you say _profits_?" That word was like music to his ears. Any way he could make a quick buck without actually having to do much work was right up his alley.

Kristin smiled. This was definitely what she'd hoped. "Of course. You know, the oceans are full of gold and jewels. It's just the little matter of finding it that can be the hard part. But if you're willing to-"

"I'm there," Ben broke in without missing a beat. "As soon as I'm done with whatever the admiral has in store for us on the base, I'm all yours." He held out his hand to shake.

Kristin took his hand. "Well, thank you very much, Mr. Krieg. I never knew you were so dedicated to my quest in exploration."

Ben waved a hand. "Well, I'm always telling everyone how we need to support our science personnel more. I figure this is the best way, to lead by example."

"Yeah, right," Katie muttered, rolling her eyes.

Kristin merely smiled. "Well, we'll be in touch then." She turned to the rest of the group. "Anyone else interested?"

A few other hands rose in the air, much to Kristin's delight.

"Thank you for volunteering," she gushed. "We'll iron out all the details as soon as I speak with Admiral Noyce."

The others nodded, and the group concentrated on their meals. Soon, various members had finished and left the table so that Nathan and Kristin were the only ones left.

"You know, that was very devious what you did," Nathan finally told her.

Kristin batted her eyelashes. "I have no idea what you mean."

Nathan chuckled softly. "I think you've been spending way too much time around Mr. Krieg."

She smiled. "Well, maybe I have learned a trick or two from him, but at least I'm not attempting to sell bioluminescent fecal matter. And I didn't lie exactly. I simply said 'if'. If means there's a possibility."

"Yes," Nathan agreed, "but you failed to mention the odds of actually _finding_ any of that treasure are slim to none."

"It's just like the lottery or betting on a horse race, and we both know the others would do those things in a heartbeat."

"I suppose you're right. Your secret is safe with me."

"I had no doubt it wouldn't be," Kristin answered. "You're still planning on being there too, aren't you?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," he promised.

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "Good…because if you weren't, I was going to drag you there myself."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The next day, _seaQuest_ pulled into port right as scheduled. Admiral Noyce was there to greet them.

Kristin made a bee-line for him. She wanted to be sure to speak to him about her plans so that he wouldn't have her volunteers doing some sort of military exercise at the last minute.

"Good morning, Admiral; might I speak with you privately?"

Admiral Noyce was slightly taken aback. The doctor had little or no interest in any of the military; he was surprised she wasn't leaving the base right away. "Uh, of course, Doctor. Just give me a moment, please." He shook Nathan's hand in greeting and spoke with him a few moments before seeing Kristin.

"And, what can I do for you, Doctor?"

"Well, I apologize for my rude greeting, Admiral, but I wanted to catch you before you had a chance to corrupt my plans."

Bill sighed. Now that sounded more like the doctor he knew. "Corrupt your plans?" he repeated.

Nathan, who had been standing nearby, overheard the conversation. He decided to go help Kristin, just in case her intentions became misconstrued and the admiral got angry. "Uh, well, since we're still going to be working, the doctor wanted to do so as well."

"Oh," the admiral answered, his tone indicating a bit of curiosity. "And what did you have planned?"

"Well, I wanted to collect some specimens from the coral reefs."

"That sounds like a fine idea; I wish you luck on the matter." He turned back to Nathan. "Now, I'd like to discuss-"

"Wait," Kristin interrupted, placing a hand on Bill's shoulder. "I'm sorry, but I wasn't quite finished yet."

Bill turned back to her. "You certainly don't need my approval."

"What Kristin is trying to tell you is that she'd enlisted some of the crew to help, including myself."

"When they're finished with you for the day, of course," Kristin added. "I certainly don't want to step on your toes. I just wanted to inform you so you didn't decide on a last-minute military drill of some sort," she explained.

Bill nodded in understanding. "Now I understand, Doctor, and I assure you, I don't have a lot planned. We're just making some general repairs and adding some new security equipment. My only involvement will be seeing to it that every military crew member is properly versed in the ins and outs of the new system. That won't take long at all. So, you needn't worry."

"Oh, thank you so much, Admiral," Kristin gushed. "Well, then, I should be going. I have work to do." She turned to Nathan. "See you at the hotel, Captain."

Bill and Nathan both watched her go.

"She's like a kid in a candy store," Admiral Noyce observed. "I'm not sure I've ever seen her so excited."

Nathan shrugged. "Well, when you consider our last few missions, they haven't exactly been a walk in the park."

"I know; that's why I wasn't intending to work anyone too much during your time here in port. I thought she would appreciate a bit of fun," Bill countered.

"To her, this _is_ fun," Nathan answered. "And you'll never guess who's agreed to help her."

"Not Commander Ford."

"No, but I wouldn't be surprised if she has him convinced by the end of the day," Nathan replied. Then, he paused and waited for another guess. When one didn't come, he added, "Ben Krieg."

"No," Bill replied in a shocked tone.

"Yes," Nathan confirmed. "You really should have been there. You'd have been impressed."

"I think I'm going to have to speak with her about that before you leave. I think she can give me some tips."

Nathan chuckled. "Indeed."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The rest of the day was uneventful. Kristin let the others have their fun, deciding that tomorrow, the real work would begin. Besides, she promised Lucas some time on the beach, and he would have it.

When Nathan returned from the base, he knocked on her door.

When she answered, he gushed, "I'm all yours, like I promised."

She smiled. "I think that could be taken two ways, Captain."

Nathan blushed. "You knew what I meant. Are the others ready?"

She shook her head. "No, I wasn't going to make everyone work tonight. Besides, I promised a bit of free time. I thought that I'd wait until tomorrow."

"Really? But you seemed so excited…"

"Yes, but the others don't seem to share my enthusiasm; not even you," she noted.

"Didn't I say I was excited for you?"

"Actually, no," she replied.

"Well, I am."

"Yes, but you're not exactly jumping for joy."

Nathan placed his hands on her shoulders. "I assure you, I find it fascinating."

"Well, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, even though I'm not sure if I believe you. You're just trying to be sweet to me."

"Is it working?" Nathan inquired.

"Maybe," she replied, her eyes smiling.

"So, what are your plans instead?"

"Well, the others went down to the beach. I thought I'd do the same."

"Have you eaten dinner yet?"

She shook her head.

"How about we go find somewhere to eat…just the two of us? We can discuss our plans for tomorrow's dive, and I'll listen with an attentive ear," Nathan promised.

"You certainly know the right thing to say to charm a lady," she quipped.

"Well, I know the right thing to say to charm _you_. Is it working?"

"You're getting warmer," she said with a smile.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The next day, Kristin swung into action, expertly leading the dive. It was early afternoon, and the team consisted of Dr. Levin, Nathan, Lucas, Ben, Tim, Katie, and a few members from Kristin's science staff.

Kristin handed out equipment to her science staff.

"What about us?" Ben inquired.

Kristin smiled. " _You_ will be our eyes. If you think you've found something, don't touch it. Simply call one of us over, and we'll decide if we're allowed to collect samples or not. Some things are protected."

Ben sighed. "Even if we find gold."

"You do know the chances of that," Lucas said, "are-"

Kristin handed Lucas his rebreather. "I think you ought to test this, Mr. Wolenczak." She then turned to Ben. "Even _if_ you find gold," she confirmed. She then gave Lucas a look, and he simply nodded, knowing when to keep his mouth shut.

So, a short time later, the group was beneath the water, collecting samples of various organisms and taking photographs with an underwater camera. Kristin was surprised at how well things were going. And, after four hours, they'd collected enough research to keep them busy for months on _seaQuest_. Mostly everyone was on the boat, so she was about to call the others out of the water and pack up for the day when Ben, who was still in the water, spoke into his microphone. "Uh, Doc?"

"Yes, Mr. Krieg?"

"I think I found something."

"We have enough samples to fuel our research for quite a while. Thank you, but I think we're finished here."

"It's not a sample," Ben replied.

"Exactly what is it then?" Kristin pressed.

"It's buried in the sand, but from what I can see of it…it looks like a chest."

Kristin hesitated for a moment. She'd already taken her wetsuit off, but the idea of a chest was intriguing. She doubted it contained any sort of treasure, but it could contain ancient artifacts. She turned to Nathan. "Care to go back down?"

Nathan had overheard the conversation. "I'm getting my wetsuit back on."

With the group working together, they were able to get the chest out of the water before it got dark. It was an old wooden trunk with rusted, metal hinges and a keyhole on the front with a large, rounded lid. It looked like it could have been used for travel or storage in years past, but it was large enough to have anything inside, really. Surprisingly, though, the wood looked in fairly pristine condition, which was contradictory to the condition of the metal and brass. Save for a bit of algae growth, it looked flawless.

Once they were out of the water, Ben looked at it carefully. He tugged on the lid. "It's locked."

"What do you think's in it?" Lucas asked.

Kristin shrugged. "We'll have to get it back to _seaQuest_ to find out first."

" _After_ we check to make sure it's safe," Nathan reminded. "It could be something war-related."

Hours later, they were in the _seaQuest_ labs, cataloging the samples they'd taken. But Ben was getting impatient.

"When are we going to open this?" he said, motioning towards the chest.

"All in due time, Mr. Krieg. Sorry, but I thought our living samples required more attention," Kristin said dryly. "Patience."

A short time later, all the cataloging and classifying had been finished. Nathan had been satisfied when x-rays of the chest showed no grenades or mines. However, what the x-ray did reveal was...disturbing.

"Doctor, are you seeing what I'm seeing?" one of Kristin's assistants asked.

"I certainly hope not." She moved closer to the x-ray image, but no matter how she looked at it, it looked like...bones. She shook her head. Surely, it had to be something else.

"Those look like-"

"Yes, I know what they look like, but..." She turned to the younger woman. "...we must be mistaken."

"But-"

"I think it's about time we just find out, hm?" She nodded her head towards the door, and the two of them walked into the other room.

Kristin called the others to gather around the chest and handed Ben a crowbar. "I thought since you'd found it, you should have the honor."

"Wait," Nathan protested. "You're just going to let him open it like that?"

Kristin shrugged. "You have a better suggestion? How else are we going to get inside of it? There's no key, and I don't think any of us cares to wait for a locksmith."

"Yes, but what if there's something dangerous inside?"

Kristin chuckled. " _Dangerous_? We've already confirmed that's not the case. Besides, it's just a chest; no harm ever came from opening a chest."

"I think they said that in that movie," Lucas said. "And then, the mummy chased them all over Egypt."

"Yes, well, that chest was cursed. I doubt this one is. It looks rather ordinary to me," Kristin replied. "Probably just some old vases."

Nathan sighed. He couldn't argue with the doctor's logic. "Fine; proceed, Mr. Krieg."

Ben carefully pried the chest open so as not to damage the trunk in any way. But, as he broke the seal and opened the lid, there was an audible, collective gasp shared amongst the group.

"It's…it's a body," Kristin stammered, unsure what to make of it.


	2. And One Foot On The Ledge

Indeed, inside the chest was the body of a woman…well, what was left of a body anyway. It was obviously many years old, considering the amount of decay. But the fact that it was inside a locked chest submerged in salt water for Lord only knows how long, the amount of decay was very different from that of a body exposed to the elements. Bits of bone protruded beneath the areas of whitish-grey flesh, but the smell of stagnant water and death permeated the room.

Kristin looked the body over carefully. "Judging from the amount of putrefaction, I'd say this corpse could have been in the water for at least fifty years, if not longer."

"Yeah, and it looks like it's decaying too," Ben added while pinching his nose, resulting in a glare from both Kristin and Nathan.

"What'd I say?" he asked innocently.

He received no answer.

Instead, Lucas piped up. "W-what do you think happened?"

"Well, she certainly didn't put herself in there," Kristin answered gravely. She turned to the group; some of them looked as though they were going to be ill. Kristin was accustomed to seeing bodies in this state; most of them weren't. Certainly, the military personnel had been exposed to such things in their training, but she really didn't know how many actually witnessed it firsthand. She realized the moment she turned around that some of them hadn't. She saw several faces go pale at the sight of the decaying corpse.

"I…I think I'm going to be sick," Katie muttered, her face blanched. She quickly ran out of the lab.

Tim looked just as horrified as Katie had. "I'll go see if she's all right," he offered, quickly retreating as well.

"I don't think our military personnel are used to this kind of…drama," Nathan noted.

"I'm sorry. I suppose I should have warned them."

Nathan placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's not your fault, but I think I'd better go check on them, just in case. I'll be back shortly." He turned to Lucas. "Are you staying?"

Lucas looked hesitant, looking at the doctor.

"You don't need to stay," Kristin told him, knowing full well it couldn't be easy for him to witness.

Lucas gave a quick, "Thank you," before quickly retreating from the room.

Kristin sighed, still feeling a little bad about her volunteers. At least the science personnel were fine. They were used to this kind of thing. "Well, we're going to have to report this to the authorities."

Ben, however, seemed unfazed. He examined the body closely and noticed jewelry, a string of pearls still around the throat and a gold band on the left hand. "A gold ring," he muttered as he started to remove it.

Kristin grabbed his hand. "And just _what_ do you think you're doing?"

Ben raised his hands in front of him. "I wasn't going to take it, if that's what you were thinking. I…I was just trying to find out what her name might have been. Sometimes, there are engravings on wedding rings. Katie had one like that," Ben explained. "That's all. I'm not that much of a heel where I'd steal from a corpse."

Kristin softened. "I realize your intentions were good, but we probably shouldn't touch anything for the time being, not until we have permission at least. In fact, why don't the rest of you go back to the hotel? It's been a long day, and I know some of you need to report to the base tomorrow. I'll let you know what happens about this little matter."

The others started out of the lab, nearly running into Nathan, who had just returned. He approached Kristin once again. "Katie and Tim are just fine. They told me to tell you they're not upset." Then, he added, "You certainly wanted excitement."

"Yes, but not quite this way," Kristin admitted. "I'm glad they're fine, though. Unfortunately, I have work to do now. That's why I sent the others back to the hotel."

"You need help?"

Kristin thought for a moment. "Well, if you wouldn't mind helping make the call to the authorities, I'd appreciate it."

"I'd like that," Nathan replied, putting an arm around her shoulders. Although she wasn't saying it, he could tell that this new development had shaken her slightly. "You all right?"

She nodded. "It's just a little overwhelming, but I'm fine." She reached up and gave the arm resting on her shoulders a gentle pat. And with that, the two headed to her office to the vid-phone.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Less than one hour later, two detectives entered with a forensics team.

"Doctor Westphalen, Captain Bridger, it's wonderful to finally meet you in person. I'm Detective Vincent Jordan and this is my partner, Leilani Palea. I apologize for cutting right to the chase, but may we please see the body?"

They were led to the lab where they began their assessment.

Although she was not highly versed in forensic science, Kristin knew enough that when it came to murder investigations and crime scenes, once all evidence was collected, the bodies were usually transported to their crime labs. But part of her wasn't willing to let this go. She wanted to know what happened just as much as everyone else.

Once the team had finished their assessment, Detective Jordan turned to the two of them. "We'll get this cleaned up, and by the time we're through, you won't even know we were ever here."

Nathan was in awe of how quickly the team worked, but also felt rather out of place. He pulled Kristin aside. "I think I'm going to go get some dinner. You want to come with me?"

She shook her head. "As tempting as that sounds, I'm going to offer my services to the forensics team. If I'm good, maybe they'll let me help," she said with a small smile. "I just think I owe it to _her_ to see this through as far as I can."

Nathan nodded in understanding. "Well, why don't you come by my room when you're finished, just to let me know how it went, even if it's late?"

"I will," Kristin promised.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

It was well after eleven PM by the time Kristin returned to the hotel. She knocked on Nathan's door, but felt guilty the moment he'd answered since it was obvious he'd been asleep.

"Sorry," Kristin muttered. "You told me to come by your room; I didn't mean to wake you."

Nathan waved a hand. "It's quite all right. Come in, please."

He sat down on the bed and patted the area next to him. "So, tell me what happened."

"Well, we found out her name was Sylvia Mayfield; she was the wife of Senator Richard Mayfield."

"That name doesn't ring a bell," Nathan commented.

"Well, he was a senator in 1941," Kristin continued. "Ironically, her disappearance occurred around the same time as the bombing on Pearl Harbor. December sixth, to be exact. The senator had reported her missing, but after the bombing, it was assumed that she'd perished since she was never found. And, it was never questioned…until now."

"So, there was no investigation at the time?"

Kristin shook her head. "And, do you want to know the worst part? The detectives and the forensics team don't have much hope for the case either. They found very little evidence. While they found foreign DNA on her body, they've got nothing to compare it to at the moment. Finding a match could take ages, so they've already told me not to be surprised if it gets closed fairly quickly. Certainly, cold cases are reopened all the time, but their own department is so swamped. They claim that this just isn't a high priority case. So, that's it," she said sadly. She took something out of her pocket and handed it to Nathan. "It seems Mr. Krieg was right, however."

Nathan saw that it was Sylvia's ring. He read the inscription, " _To my darling Sylvia, love always, Richard_." He turned to Kristin. "They gave this to you?"

"I asked for it; I wanted something to remember her by, and it just bothers me they're not going to do anything more with her case."

"Kristin, you helped solve a missing person's case that was over a half century old. You should be happy."

"Happy? How can I be happy when I think of the ghastly way she died? She…she was still alive when she was placed in that chest. Her lungs were full of water, indicating she'd drowned." She shuddered. "I just can't imagine…"

"This is really affecting you," Nathan noted, handing the ring back to her.

"Perhaps it's going to inspire me to do a bit of research myself," she said, staring at the ring.

"What? You're going to dabble in crime solving now?"

"You said yourself I've always done what I see fit in terms of my research. Certainly, the samples we've collected from the reefs will be the top priority. But, I don't see why I can't try to figure something out myself in Sylvia's case. I think I owe her that much. I don't think it's an accident we found her," Kristin replied.

Nathan gave her a quizzical look. "I thought you were a woman of science."

She smiled. "I _am_ …but, that doesn't mean I don't believe in the soul. And, when there's a soul that isn't at rest, I think they have ways of manipulating the living, unbeknownst to us. You remember our experience on the _George_?"

"That, I do, but I thought you believed it was nitrogen narcosis."

She shrugged. "I'm still not sure what it was. However, I do find it rather difficult to believe we all had the same hallucination at the same time." She sighed. "Really, all I am saying is that there is a reason certain things happen. I just think this," she said, holding up the ring again, "was no accident."

Nathan thought for a moment. "Perhaps."

"You think my efforts would be futile," she decided.

"No…not at all. I'm just not sure if you'll be able to find much of anything. I don't want you to be disappointed."

"I'll only be disappointed if I don't at least try."

"Fair enough. If you need any help, let me know," Nathan offered.

"Thank you," Kristin answered gratefully. "I appreciate your support."

"Anytime."

"Well, I just wanted to come by and let you know what happened. I'll let you get back to bed."

"It's all right; if you want to talk, I'll listen."

Kristin gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Maybe once we get back in the water. But, since tomorrow's our last day, I know Bill wants you at the base early in the morning. Besides, I'm exhausted myself. I'm going to grab a sandwich and head off to bed. See you tomorrow?"

"Of course. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Captain."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The next day in Pearl was rather uneventful. The military personnel were all given the afternoon off, now finished with their course on the new security system. The whole crew spent their last afternoon on land on the beach, fittingly. But, as the sun was setting, it was time to get back to _seaQuest_.

Nathan was pleased Kristin had seemed more like herself. But, after things on the bridge had settled and he had a free moment, he decided he ought to check. He headed to the lab.

"And how are things over here, Doctor?"

"I just saw you a short time ago, Captain. They're just fine, thank you," she replied.

"Well, perhaps I meant how you were."

She sighed. "I'm fine, thank you. We're just working on our coral reef specimens and samples."

"And Sylvia?"

Kristin pointed to her neck. There, she had a gold chain, Sylvia's ring hanging from it. "She's still with me…I thought this would motivate me. I still plan on pursuing it, if that's what you meant."

Nathan nodded. "I didn't expect anything less. Well, I need to get back to the bridge. I just wanted to check on you."

"And I appreciate it."

Nathan lingered for a few seconds more, watching her as she worked. He could see how much this case meant to her. In fact, he thought of a way to help her. He decided to pay a visit to Lucas before heading back to the bridge.

He knocked on the teen's door.

"Uh, hi," Lucas answered. "You need something?"

"Why aren't you in the lab?"

"The doc said she didn't need me; said I should take the rest of the night off. Why? Did she change her mind?"

Nathan shook his head. "No, sorry…I was just wondering. Uh, did the doctor mention anymore to you about the woman's body that we found?"

"A little, but not much."

Nathan smiled. That's what he'd hoped. "Then, I have a proposition for you."

The teen's brow furrowed in curiosity. "What's that?"

"You find out everything you can about Sylvia Mayfield and her senator husband. And, you have it ready for our morning staff meeting. You think you can handle that?"

Lucas smiled. "You know I can. It'll be cake."

"For you, I figured so," Nathan commented. "Just don't stay up too late."

"I won't," Lucas promised.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The next morning, Nathan was eager to get to the ward room, hoping that Lucas had come through for him. He took a seat and waited for everyone to file in. Lucas took a seat to his left, an amused smile on his face.

"You find what I asked?" Nathan asked quietly.

Lucas nodded. "So, what do you have planned?"

"Just wait until everyone gets here," Nathan told him.

Nearly everyone was there, except for one person. The chair to Nathan's right was empty; Kristin was late, something that rarely happened.

About five minutes later, Kristin rushed in looking frazzled. "Sorry," she muttered apologetically, her cheeks a bright pink with embarrassment.

Nathan looked her over with a scrutinizing eye. She looked as though she hadn't slept well; there were dark circles under her eyes, and her hair looked out of place. That wasn't normal for Kristin. He pulled her aside and spoke low enough so as not to add to her embarrassment. "You feeling all right?"

She nodded. "I'm fine; I just didn't sleep very well."

Nathan looked her over one more time. He didn't quite believe the 'I'm fine' part, but he decided not to push the issue for the moment. He did, however, make a mental note to find out more about it later. "Very well; have a seat."

Kristin obliged and tried to look alert.

Nathan sat at the head of the table. "I thought we'd do something a little different this morning. I know you all are aware of our discovery in our exploration of the coral reefs. And I also know you're aware that this is an unsolved murder. Doctor Westphalen has decided to take it upon herself to see if she can't shed any light on the matter in her spare time. But I thought we could help with that since the _seaQuest_ is still on patrol."

"So, we're crime investigators now?" Jonathan questioned.

"Not exactly," Nathan answered. "But I thought it wouldn't hurt to speculate on the matter, perhaps brainstorm a bit. That's why I had Mr. Wolenczak use his computer skills and find everything he could on the matter." Nathan motioned towards the screen at the front of the room. "Mr. Wolenczak, you have the floor."

Lucas stood and brought a picture up on the vid-screen. "This is Senator Richard Mayfield; he was a US senator from New York elected in 1940. After that, he and his wife, Sylvia, moved to Washington. Now, you might be wondering what exactly he had to do with Pearl Harbor and why he and his wife were in Oahu during the latter part of November and the early part of December of 1941. Well, apparently, Senator Mayfield took a great deal of interest in the US Navy at the time. He was looking to offer funding in hopes of bolstering his career, hence his trip to Oahu."

"Yes," Kristin finally said, "but what about Sylvia?"

"I'll get to that," Lucas assured her. Then, he continued, "This is where Captain Jack Remington comes in." Lucas hit a button and the picture of a middle-aged, dapper-looking sea captain appeared on the screen. "He was the captain of the submarine, the _USS Nautilus,_ at the time of the Pearl Harbor bombing. Well, when the Mayfields arrived in Oahu, the _Nautilus_ was in port, and the senator was supposed to be doing some negotiating with Captain Remington and some of his superiors." Lucas paused and looked at the group. "Now, I know what you're thinking…seems pretty standard for the time. That was a common practice back then. But I was wondering why in the world Mayfield would take such an interest in the Navy. So, I did some more digging. Well, apparently, he was a supporter of the war, so much so that he wanted the US involved in the war as soon as possible."

"You mean…" Nathan began.

Lucas nodded. "You've all heard the conspiracy theories…that the US was supposed to know about the Japanese attack beforehand, especially the supporters of the war. Apparently, Mayfield was involved in more than just politics."

"Was it ever proven?" Tim cut in.

Lucas shook his head. "No, because no one really knew at the time. The documents on the matter weren't found until after his death. And, even now, there's a debate on the matter. I'm not even sure if I believe it. But there are signed documents going back and forth between Mayfield and President Roosevelt and other US officials, all speaking of the knowledge of a Japanese attack. However, most of the documents that I saw claimed they thought it was going to be in the Philippines. Pearl Harbor was the last to be attacked, in their eyes. I only saw one that claimed knowledge of the Pearl Harbor attack, and it couldn't be verified as legitimate, unfortunately."

"So, what does this have to do with Sylvia?" Ben finally pressed.

Lucas smiled. "Well, I'm not really sure; I couldn't find much about how she would fit into it all. But, the fact she was married to the senator probably made her privy to information that others wouldn't have access to." He hit the button again, and a picture of a woman, also middle-aged, but not looking it. She had auburn hair and brown eyes, and there was a sudden, audible gasp shared amongst the group. "You see it, too?" Lucas asked as he turned to them.

"See what?" Kristin questioned, confused.

"Well," Katie began, "don't you think she looks… _familiar_?"

Kristin looked at the photo of the woman on the screen, examining it. But, she didn't notice anything.

Nathan noticed her frustration. "Uh, Kristin," he said gently, putting his hand on her shoulder, "I think what the others are trying to say is-"

"She looks like she could be your twin, Doc," Ben interrupted. He stood and pointed to the photo. "Don't you see? The auburn hair…the eyes…"

Kristin looked at the screen again. "I…suppose…maybe…" she said thoughtfully. But, then she shrugged. "But there are lots of women with auburn hair and brown eyes."

"Who also happen to be from England and work in the medical profession?" Lucas added.

"What?"

"Sylvia was British-born; she moved to the US when she was in her late twenties after attending medical school and that's where she met Richard."

"She…she was a doctor?" Kristin stammered. The similarities were uncanny, she had to admit.

"She was," Lucas confirmed. "But she stopped practicing after she got married."

"Why is that?"

Lucas shrugged. "I really couldn't find a reason why. My only guess was to start a family, maybe, but she and Richard had no children. But, it was my understanding she was helping at the base hospital while they were in Oahu, that was, until she disappeared."

"Did you find anything about her disappearance?" Nathan inquired.

"Not much," the teen admitted. He hit a button and a newspaper article appeared. "She went missing on the night of December sixth, and the next morning was the bombing. I don't think anyone even questioned it."

"What about the senator?"

"He continued his term, then retired. He passed away in 1950 from liver disease," Lucas stated. "That's all I could find on the matter." He took his seat once again.

Nathan looked at the clock. He hadn't bargained on Lucas finding so much information; the meeting was nearly finished. "It seems we're going to have to cut this short, but that doesn't mean I want any of you to forget this. Ponder it when you get a bit of free time. And, let the doctor know what you think. All dismissed."

Nathan leaned towards Kristin. "If you don't mind being a little late in the lab, I'd like to speak with you privately."

She nodded, somewhat expecting this. Once they were alone, Nathan spoke, "So, why couldn't you sleep?"

She shrugged. "I think it was just the drama with Sylvia. I can't get her off my mind."

"So you've mentioned," Nathan commented.

"I really should thank you for this. I never thought to have Lucas search the Internex for me."

"It was my pleasure. Besides, I think he enjoyed doing it."

"You…you really think she looks like me?" Kristin asked after a moment.

"A little," Nathan admitted. "But, they say everyone has a twin. Maybe Sylvia was yours."

Kristin thought for a moment. "Maybe."

"You sure you're all right?" Nathan pressed. "It doesn't bother you, does it?"

She shook her head. "I'm fine. I probably should get going, unless there's something else."

Nathan shook his head. "No…see you at lunch?"

She nodded. "Of course, Captain."


	3. We're Not In Kansas Anymore

By noontime, Nathan headed towards med bay. He wanted to be sure he'd see Kristin; sure, she claimed she was fine, but he knew that she often just said that when it wasn't actually true. He wanted to be sure he ate lunch with her. When he entered the lab, Kristin was deep in thought, examining some sort of sea sponge in a tank on her work table.

He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump a little. "Sorry," he said quietly. "I wasn't trying to scare you. You were really engrossed in that sponge."

She waved a hand. "It wasn't the sponge that had my attention," she admitted.

"Sylvia?"

She nodded. "But, I just don't see where it adds up."

"Maybe she was involved in some sort of love affair?" Nathan suggested.

"And her husband found out about it?"

"Maybe…or she tried to cut the affair off, and the jilted lover killed her in revenge."

"Or like Lucas said, maybe she knew more than she should have," Kristin said after a moment. Then she let out a groan. "Unfortunately, this is the problem. We can all spend ages speculating about this, but that's all it's going to be-speculation."

"Now you know what crime scene investigators and detectives go through," Nathan pointed out. He grabbed her hand. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"I'm going to help you get your mind off of this," Nathan ordered, although his tone was gentle. "Maybe Sylvia's case is a lost cause. I know you don't want to hear that, but…well, the facts just aren't there."

Kristin conceded. "Very well. I am a little hungry. As far as Sylvia, well, unfortunately, you might be right."

"Are you going to be all right?"

She gave him a small smile. "I'll get over it."

Nathan put an arm around her. "Good. I am sorry we couldn't do more."

She shrugged. "Me too. I guess there's obviously no way we can know unless we had a way to go back in time."

"Damn, I left my plans for the time machine back on my island," he quipped.

Kristin chuckled.

"That's the reaction I was hoping for," Nathan said, sounding rather pleased.

"Well, I'm sorry if I've left you worried."

"More like concerned," Nathan corrected. "And it's all right."

They headed into the mess and sat down at one of the nearest tables. Lucas and Ben were there as well.

"I was, uh, thinking about our friend," Ben piped up.

"I appreciate it, Mr. Krieg, but I just don't think-" Kristin began.

"You did say we could split the profits of whatever we found, and I have a friend that'll take that ring of yours and give us twice the value of it. What do you say?" Ben interrupted.

"No," Kristin said, obviously offended.

"Ben," Lucas said warningly.

"What?"

"I think what Lucas and the doctor are trying to say is that it's wrong," Nathan stated, giving Ben a look. "And I agree."

"But..." Ben stated, but seeing as how Nathan's glare became stronger, he backed down. "Fine."

But Kristin softened a bit, giving Ben's hand a gentle pat. "I promise the next time we go out on a dive, you'll be the first person I call. I'm sure we can find something to suppress your greedy little desires."

Ben smiled. "You know just the right thing to cheer me up."

Kristin was about to reply when the lights suddenly dimmed for a moment, then returned back to normal.

"What was that?" Lucas asked.

"I'm not sure," Nathan answered, taking out his PAL unit and paging the bridge. "Anyone want to enlighten me on what just happened?"

"Sir," Lieutenant O'Neill answered. "We have a problem. The NOAA has just issued an alert about geomagnetic storms causing activity in the Pacific Ocean. The geomagnetic activity could last days."

Nathan could note some worry in the lieutenant's voice, but could not understand why. "We've seen geomagnetic activity before."

At that moment, Nathan could hear the unmistakable sound of the PAL unit shifting hands. "Yes, but apparently, _these_ storms are causing whirlpools," Jonathan stated, taking the PAL from Tim. "Giant whirlpool vortexes to be exact, sir, and we're-"

Jonathan's voice became warbled as static interrupted the communication.

Nathan banged on the PAL with his hand. "Hello? Commander?" There was another flicker of lights, and the PAL went dead.

"We need to get to the bridge," Nathan ordered, starting to run with Kristin, Ben, and Lucas on his heels.

Once on the bridge, Miguel brought up a WSKRS view without being asked. "Sir, this was our view just one hour ago." The waters were calm and nothing looked out of the ordinary. "And this is our view just ten minutes ago." There, just ahead of them was a large whirlpool, at least several hundred meters in diameter.

"We've tried to reset our course, but the storm is creating delays," Katie explained in frustration.

There was another flicker of lights. Then, the computers all went dark. The WSKRS view disappeared.

"We're dead in the water," Katie said gravely.

Before Nathan could give an order, the lights dimmed yet again, but this time, they didn't come back on. Low rumbles could be heard, and the submarine trembled. "Everyone, hang on to something," Nathan ordered in a desperate attempt to do something as the floor beneath them shook as though there was an earthquake. But, it was no earthquake.

"C-captain?" Lucas said. "We're still moving."

Nathan grabbed the teen's shoulder and squeezed. "It's going to be all right, kiddo. Just hang on," he ordered again.

Suddenly, the boat jerked, resulting in several gasps and cries due to the unexpected movement. A minute later, however, the boat seemed to settle. Nathan looked to his right. Although the bridge was dark, his eyes had adjusted enough that he could see the confused and frightened faces around him. But, there was one face he didn't see.

"Kristin?" Nathan said.

There was no answer. Now that everyone was more sobered, flashlights were turned on. Suddenly, Nathan heard Miguel cry, "Doc!"

Nathan turned in his direction, his flashlight casting a beam of light to reveal the unconscious doctor lying on the floor. He rushed towards her immediately, along with several others.

He knelt down at her side and noticed a gash on the side of her head. He looked to his right, where Lucas was. "Take Chief Crocker with you and get a med team in here… _now._ " Then, he said," Commander Ford, any idea on our status?"

"No, all systems appear to be down," the commander answered, checking on the sonar and communication systems, "but we still appear to be moving."

Suddenly, the lights came back up, but as Nathan looked around, something was very different. The bridge looked nothing like it had previously. There were no computers, no advanced equipment. Even the moon pool was gone. Even their uniforms had changed to something more old-fashioned. "What the hell?" he muttered under his breath as he stood slowly.

At that moment, Lucas returned. "Uh, Captain?" he said worriedly. "Med bay is gone."

"What?"

"It's like it never existed," Chief Crocker added. "The whole sub is… _different_."

"Where's the doc?" Lucas asked after a moment.

"What?"

"Where's the doc?" Lucas asked again, pointing to where she'd been laying just a few minutes before.

"Katie's gone too," Ben added.

Just then, a crewman from B-deck entered. "All the women on board appear to be…gone."

Nathan looked down. Indeed, Kristin had vanished. He couldn't quite understand.

But, Lucas walked up to him and pointed to his shirt. "Your name."

Nathan looked down. It read 'Captain J. Remington.'

Lucas looked around. "Hey, I know this place. We're…this is the _Nautilus_. I…I saw pictures of it on the Internex. He looked down at his own name tag, since he, too, was now dressed in a naval uniform. "I also remember seeing the list of every crew men. That's why all the women are gone; women weren't allowed on submarines then; heck, they weren't even in the military." He looked down at his own name tag that said, 'H. Phillips.' "I must be Henry Phillips; I remember reading about him. He was young, only seventeen like me. Somehow, he managed a spot on the _Nautilus_." He ran around excitedly, pointing at everyone's name tag and declaring the name aloud. He looked at Ben's name; it read, 'Lieutenant T. Pierce'. "You're Theodore, aka Teddy, Pierce." Then, he pointed at Tim. "You're William O'Shay." He went on and on until he had told everyone their name.

When he had finished, Nathan spoke up, "What are you saying? Are you saying we…we…"

"It's the only logical explanation," Lucas answered as Nathan struggled to finish the question.

"If that's true, what about the doctor?" Nathan finally choked out.

"And Katie and the others?" Tim asked.

"I don't know," Ben answered, "but something tells me we're not in Kansas anymore."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**November 28, 1941**

Kristin sat bolt-upright in bed. The last thing she remembered was being hurled across the bridge on _seaQuest_ , making an unfortunate contact with a piece of equipment. She remembered feeling pain. She instinctively touched her temple, knowing she'd hit it there, but it didn't hurt anymore. No, there was no bruise, no cut; there was nothing. _Strange_.

As she became more awake, she became more aware of her surroundings. This was _not seaQuest_. It looked like something out of an old book; the décor of the room was old-fashioned. There was no vid-screen, not even a television. She looked down. This wasn't even her nightgown. And, her body ached, though she couldn't tell why. Maybe that's what had happened. She decided she must have hit the wall so hard that she bruised herself when the storm caused the submarine to jerk.

At that moment, a man she didn't know came into the room; he was dressed in a suit and tie. Kristin couldn't place a finger on it, but she knew he looked familiar somehow. He sat next to her on the bed and kissed her on the cheek.

"How are you feeling this morning, sweetheart?" he asked her.

" _Sweetheart_? Who-" she began. But, just then, she heard something. It wasn't a physical voice; it was more like a distant whisper, but she couldn't tell who it was coming from. There was no one else in the room, she was sure of it. _Richard_ , she heard the voice say. "Richard?" she repeated in disbelief.

"Of course, darling," he replied. "Are you feeling all right?"

Kristin looked down at her hands, noticing a wedding band on her left ring finger- _Sylvia's ring._ "I…I feel…fine," she stammered. No, she didn't. She was terribly confused. She didn't even know why she said that. It was like...something told her to say that. It was so odd.

Richard smiled, looking relieved. "I'm glad of that. I just wanted to apologize."

"Apologize?"

"Yes…for last night." He pulled the capped sleeve of her satin nightgown down off her shoulder just enough to reveal a wicked-looking bruise. He gave it a light kiss, but even that small gesture caused her to wince in pain. "I am so sorry; it's just…you get me so angry when you refuse me."

It didn't take long for Kristin to figure out what he'd meant, and she felt a sudden flash of anger. She certainly had no memory of what he'd done, but hearing about it now was enough. She opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind when that same voice in her mind cautioned her against it. _No_ , it ordered. "I…it's all right." No, it wasn't. Why did she say that? She suddenly felt frustrated.

Richard only smiled. "So, we're still on for tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"You haven't forgotten already, have you?" he asked, now sounding a little angry.

"I...what day is it?"

"It's Saturday, the twenty-eighth, remember? We have that party tonight at the base. And, we'll be meeting some very important people, so I want you there looking your best, is that understood?"

She nodded. "Of course, I remember now." She didn't really, but she heard that voice inside her head say something about needing to be at the base hospital. "Uh, I need to be at the hospital shortly."

"I know," Richard confirmed. "I'll drop you off on my way; I have several business meetings to attend, so I won't see you until tonight. I should be home around six."

"Six o'clock, got it," Kristin answered. "Just give me fifteen minutes, and I'll be ready, all right?"

He nodded. "Fine." With that, he headed out of the room, leaving Kristin alone to take in what she'd just learned. She stood and headed into the bathroom, which was the door to the left. She noticed a newspaper on the small end table, picked it up, and looked at the date; Saturday, November 28, 1941. Her hand trembled slightly. She'd already expected this, but to see it confirmed was frightening. Was this a dream or was this reality? She didn't know. And, if it were reality, where were the others?

She set the newspaper down and shook her head in an attempt to shake the fog from her brain. She really didn't have time to figure out exactly what was going on at the moment. She only hoped she'd figure it out as time went on. She continued her way into the bathroom to freshen up. She looked in the mirror. She certainly looked like herself, except for her hair. It was secured in pins. She ran some water and splashed it on her face. She then removed her nightgown. Her body looked like hers as well, except for several ugly bruises along her shoulders, arms, torso, and her upper and inner thighs. A few tears stung her eyes at the thought of them. No, she obviously did not experience the bruising firsthand, but she was definitely seeing the aftermath, and she was told what had happened. Is this what Sylvia had gone through?

She sighed bitterly and stepped into the shower, washing quickly. Then, she walked back into the bedroom and opened the closet door. She chose a white skirt and blouse, fitting for working at the hospital, she guessed, since they were hanging in the front. After dressing, she went back to the bathroom and took the pins out of her hair, now having perfect pin curls. She did her best to style her hair in the fashion of the time, pinning it up on both sides. She decided she looked presentable when she heard another whisper. _Makeup_.

"Makeup?" Kristin said quietly. She sighed. Of course, women from this time period wouldn't dream of leaving the house without a bit of lipstick, mascara, and blush. She opened a small drawer next to the vanity, for some reason knowing that Sylvia kept her makeup in a small bag there. She quickly applied it, finally deciding she looked presentable.

"Is that better?" she muttered.

 _Yes_.

Kristin shook her head. "Ugh, great. Now you're talking to yourself," she muttered, looking into the mirror. "Well, you'd better get a grip because we can't make a habit of this, understood?"

 _Whatever you say_.

"You didn't need to answer that," Kristin whispered, quickly heading out of the room to find Richard, still unsure of exactly who it was she was speaking to.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After Richard dropped her off at the base hospital, Kristin walked inside, but then realized she had no clue where she was going. She didn't know where to report to or what to do. She didn't know anyone here. It was so awkward because she rarely was at a loss of what to do. She stood in the lobby for a moment, trying to decide which direction to go in, when she heard someone call out, "Doctor Mayfield."

It took her a moment to realize that was her, at least, that's who she was supposed to be. She was still getting used to that fact. She turned and was glad to see a familiar face-Joshua Levin. She smiled and nearly hugged him. "Joshua."

He gave her a knowing smile and simply pointed to his nametag. "Doctor Peter Lawrence," he corrected quietly.

She nodded. "Sorry; it's just...I'm still getting used to things. How long have you-"

"A few hours," he told her. "Uh, I could use your assistance. Follow me."

Kristin did so, but she wondered, if Joshua was there, did that mean the others were as well? "The others?"

"I haven't seen everyone, but some are here with us," he confirmed.

"Do…do you know how?"

He shook his head. "I know as much as you do."

She nodded as they continued their walk down the corridor that led to a ward filled with nurses who were setting up medical equipment. Kristin breathed a small sigh of relief when she saw that many of the nurses were from her own science and medical staff. "We're expecting a group of sailors any moment. They've been out to sea and need check-ups. He turned to the group of nurses and called, "Rose."

A woman with dark hair stepped forward. Kristin recognized her immediately. "Katie!"

"Ssh," Katie urged. Then she lowered her voice. "Yes, it's me, Doc. How are you?"

She shrugged. "I…I'm fine, I suppose…just confused."

"Join the club," Katie answered. "The name's Rose, Rose McCallister. Apparently, I'm your head nurse."

Kristin gave her a look. "You know what to do?"

Katie shrugged. "I thought the same thing, but something told me to come here. And when I did, somehow I just…knew."

Kristin nodded. It was the same thing with her. "Right; well, I guess we'll just have to make do, hm?"

"So, if you want to cover this half," Joshua said, breaking the area in half, "And I'll cover the other. Ka-I mean, _Rose_ , will check our soldiers in. I'll take all names A through L, and Doctor Mayfield will take M through Z. Does that sound all right?"

"That sounds fine," Kristin answered, suddenly becoming more confident in her abilities.

A short time later, as expected, the group of men started entering, all in a line. Kristin quickly scanned the group in hopes she'd see Nathan, only she didn't.

She sighed and moved towards her make-shift room, separated only by privacy screens, common for the time period. But she was very curious about who she'd be seeing, both wondering and hoping she'd see some familiar faces. Just then, she heard Katie say, "You can go see Dr. Mayfield, just to your left."

She heard footsteps enter through the doorway. She put on her best smile and was ecstatic when she saw yet another familiar face, though her heart sank slightly when she realized it wasn't Nathan.

"Doc!" Ben gushed. "Are you-"

"I'm fine," she confirmed. "Um, have a seat Mr…"

"Pierce," Ben told her. "Teddy Pierce."

She smiled. "Teddy," she said thoughtfully. "That suits you."

Ben chuckled softly. "Thanks."

Kristin began her examination while she and Ben spoke quietly. "So, the others?"

"They're here," Ben assured her. "And, boy, they're going to be happy when they see you. We all thought you…well, we didn't know what happened."

"Me either," she said. "I'm still not sure I do. Is everyone all right?"

"They're fine," Ben promised. "Even the captain."

She smiled. "Was I that obvious?"

"He's worried about you too, I'm sure," Ben replied. When she had finished the examination, he said, "Well, I guess this is it. See you around?"

She gave him a nod, now feeling somewhat better about the situation. She continued seeing patients, who were actually the members of the _seaQuest_ crew. This was either one of the strangest dreams she'd ever had or something else. She just didn't know which yet.


	4. Sifting Through The Devil's Lies

Nathan waited for his name to be called. He was glad to see Katie, aka Nurse Rose, at the front of the room along with some of the other women from the _seaQuest_. But, he still didn't see Kristin. He sighed dejectedly. He couldn't quite determine how much time had passed since he'd seen her last. Really, it may have only been a matter of hours, but it felt like years. And, the moment she'd disappeared, Nathan felt as though his heart had been torn from his chest.

He really hadn't realized how accustomed he'd become to seeing her every day, how accustomed he was to all the little things she did on board the _seaQuest_ for everyone. But, he also noticed the small things she did for _him_ , like getting him a cup of coffee when he hadn't even asked. Funny thing was, she always knew when he wanted one, and she'd just appear with one, as if she could read his mind. Sometimes, it almost felt like she could. He smiled softly at the thought. He sure could use a cup of coffee now. He wondered if wherever she was, she could sense that.

He looked around him, just in case she might show up. But, no, she didn't. He didn't smell her perfume. That was something else he'd grown accustomed to-her scent. It wasn't strong or overpowering, but it was a light, fresh scent, something he finally realized that he craved. Yes, he'd finally made a realization. And, it was one of those realizations that cannot be recognized until a loss is suffered. He swore in frustration under his breath, now feeling guilty about it. He'd had the whole year with Kristin, and now she was gone. And it was her disappearance that made him realize he loved her. Well, he'd always loved her as a friend, a confidante, a colleague. But he realized now it was more than that, that for the first time since he'd lost his wife, he had true feelings for another woman. He vowed then and there that if he did find her again, that he wouldn't beat around the bush. No, it was time to let the woman he loved in on his secret.

Oh, he was sure Kristin knew how he felt; he could see it in her eyes. But she also knew he was still healing. She was being patient. Having been hurt in the past herself, she was waiting for him to make the first move. He knew that's what he had to do. He'd be sure she knew exactly how he felt, and he wasn't about to lose her again.

"Captain Remington," Katie called, interrupting his train of thought at that moment. She gave him a kind smile as he approached the deck. "It's good to see you, Captain."

"Likewise," Nathan answered, returning the smile. He wanted to ask her about a million questions, but he didn't want to overwhelm her.

"You can go right through there," Katie said, pointing.

Nathan gave her a nod and thanked her as he approached the makeshift room. He paused in the doorway and took a deep breath. He had to push his thoughts about Kristin out of his mind for the moment. Then he entered the room. He was surprised to see a female doctor with her back turned to him. Certainly, it wasn't out of the ordinary for him, considering Kristin was the CMO aboard _seaQuest_. But this was the 1940's; that wasn't very common in this time period, was it? No matter, Nathan decided. As he watched her cleaning her equipment, he noticed her hands. They looked familiar. Suddenly, he heard a voice. He couldn't tell if it was male or female, but he knew it wasn't in the room. It was distant; like an echo of sorts. _Sylvia_ , it whispered.

"Sylvia?" Nathan muttered aloud. Then he remembered-the body, Lucas' research, Sylvia, the senator, and Jack. He was Jack Remington, so that would mean…

"Just have a seat on the cot, and I'll be with you in a moment," Kristin declared as she was still cleaning and sterilizing her equipment, still not turning around to look at him.

"Kristin?" Nathan asked, taking a chance. It had to be her. He could smell her perfume.

Kristin dropped the tool she was cleaning and turned, almost speechless. "Nathan…I…are you all right?" It took everything in her power not to wrap her arms around him, but she didn't want to risk it in case.

Nathan moved closer to her and gently touched the side of her face, the side he remembered being bruised and bloody just a short time ago. "I'm fine," he confirmed. "I should be asking you that, though. Your face…"

"I'm all right," she assured him. "You remember…I _did_ have an accident on the bridge?" She wasn't sure if that was a dream or what had happened exactly. None of the other crew members she'd seen had mentioned anything of it, and she started to doubt whether it had happened or not.

"Yeah, you did. Do you have any idea what's going on?"

She shook her head. "Not exactly, but I'm learning more every minute." She pointed to her name tag.

"Dr. Mayfield. So you're…"

"Sylvia," she said, holding out her hand in greeting. "And let me just take a wild guess; you're…"

"Captain Jack Remington," Nathan finished for her as he took her hand. "Wonderful to make your acquaintance."

She chuckled softly. "Oh, the pleasure is all mine, I'm sure." She then motioned towards the cot. "Um, well, we have an examination to conduct."

Nathan did so, but he had a lot of questions on his mind still.

Kristin began looking at his eyes, ears, and the like.

"So, this means you're married to-" Nathan began.

"The senator, Richard Mayfield," Kristin answered, taking a tongue depressor out. "Stick out your tongue, please."

Nathan's heart sank slightly. He didn't like that fact. If Kristin was really Sylvia, that could create a problem in his recent realization. "I ee ki do u?" he asked as Kristin was looking in his throat.

She laughed as she removed the tongue depressor. "Could you repeat that in English please?"

Nathan blushed slightly. "Sorry. I asked, is he kind to you?"

"Oh…" Kristin hesitated. "Well, I really only saw him for a short while this morning."

"Well, how did he seem?" Every word was laced with concern, and rightly so. Nathan had only just seen her vanishing out of thin air a few hours ago, and now she was living with a strange man that may or may not have been responsible for her death. The whole idea was just a little too close for comfort for his liking, especially since they didn't exactly know what was happening. Yes, they knew they were Jack and Sylvia; that fact was established. But there were other important facts they still had yet to discover, the main one being Sylvia's death. If Kristin was Sylvia, what would happen?

Kristin avoided the question and continued her examination. The truth was, she didn't know what to say. Obviously, Richard Mayfield had some skeletons in his closet, and so did Sylvia. And she knew Nathan was concerned about her already. She smiled softly. She found that part very sweet. But she also knew Nathan would flip if he knew what Richard had said to her. And part of her was afraid about that fact as well. She didn't want to think about it. "Um, are you going to the party tonight?"

"The party?" Nathan asked. Then there was that voice inside his head again saying something about meeting the senator and some other important people. "Yes, but…"

She smiled. "Then I'm sure you'll meet him. You can be the judge."

"That's not what I asked," Nathan protested. "Kristin, I _don't_ like this, not being able to-"

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'll be _fine_. Nothing's going to happen."

Nathan gave her a doubtful look. "You do remember what's supposed to happen to Sylvia, don't you?"

She sighed. "Y-yes…but something's telling me I'll be fine."

"A voice?"

She nodded. "You mean…"

"Yeah, I've got one too," he admitted.

"Sylvia and Jack," she said thoughtfully.

"What?"

"Sylvia and Jack," she repeated. "Think back to the _George_ ," she insisted.

"I didn't hear voices then."

"No, but _I_ did. I…I know Lillian used my body, possessed me, if you will. And, I know I insisted it was nitrogen narcosis. The scientist in me has to because the other thought is…well, it frightens me, if you must know. But this isn't a possession, well, at least not the way it was with Lillian. This is…well, it's different. I still feel a presence with me; I hear a voice that isn't mine, telling me certain things I need to do, reassuring me of certain things. But I know I'm still Kristin Westphalen. It's almost as if I'm playing a role in a play. It's… _strange_."

"So, instead of a possession, a ghost just transported us back in time to relive their lives," Nathan said bluntly. "That's even better."

Kristin smiled. "Now isn't the time or place, but I think we're going to have to round the crew up when we can and talk about a few things, try and figure out what we're supposed to do here."

"A staff meeting," Nathan agreed. "That's a good idea."

She nodded. "But first, we've an examination to finish. Lie down, please."

A short time later, Kristin was finished.

As Nathan was buttoning up his shirt, he stated, "I think I prefer examinations on _seaQuest_ better. They're less painful."

She smiled as she cleaned the syringe. "Well, I tried to make it as painless as I could."

Nathan finished and placed a hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Oh, you certainly helped."

Kristin let out a pained gasp, however, causing Nathan to pull away.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

Kristin swallowed hard, trying to compose herself. "I…it…it's nothing," she stammered. "I…"

"You're hurt?" Nathan inquired, noticing the look on her face.

"When…when I awoke here, I…I had a bruise on my shoulder," she answered quickly, hoping Nathan would just drop the subject. "It's nothing. It only hurt just then."

"Let me see," Nathan said gently.

She shook her head. "No…I…I'm fine. You don't-"

"Let me see," Nathan said again. "Please?" He moved closer to her, but she backed away. "Kristin?"

"Nathan, it's nothing."

"Then why can't I see it?" He moved closer to her still; she backed away again until her back was against the wall.

She looked down, trying to think of what to do next. "Nathan, please, I-"

Nathan put a hand under her chin. "Kristin, please? I won't hurt you. I just want to look at it."

She sighed. She finally relented, giving him a nod, knowing Nathan wasn't going to stop asking until she gave in. She turned her eyes away as she felt him unbutton her blouse just enough where he could slip it off her shoulder.

"Oh, my God," he uttered as he examined her shoulder. It looked painful; he couldn't understand why she'd want to hide it from him, though. But then he noticed another bruise on her upper back, just as dark and painful-looking. He touched just above it. "Kris?" he questioned.

"Nathan…I..." she began. Really, she wasn't sure what she was going to tell him. She didn't want to lie, but she didn't want to tell him the truth either.

"How many of them are there?"

She shrugged. "Enough." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I told you, I woke up this way."

"You have no idea how it happened?"

She averted her gaze.

"Kristin?"

"If I tell you, you can't get angry," she finally said, turning back to look at him, her eyes pleading.

"How could I be angry with you? You couldn't-"

"I wasn't talking about me. _Please_ , promise me," she said again.

Nathan looked into her dark eyes and couldn't resist. He nodded. "All right."

"Richard."

"That bastard," Nathan replied after it had sunk in. "I…I'll kill him."

"You _promised_ ," Kristin reminded. "I…I didn't actually experience it. Like I said, I woke up this way. But a few things he said led me to believe he was responsible. Sylvia told me not to do anything at the moment."

"Kristin, I-" Nathan began. He was angry, not at Kristin, but at the situation. And if the senator was responsible for this, how could he let Kristin be alone with him? The thought was just too much. "I don't want anything to happen to you. I couldn't handle that." He paused for a moment, debating if he wanted to say what he'd been longing to say. Then he'd made up his mind. "There's…there's something I need to tell you."

But Kristin placed a finger to his lips. "And I _want_ to hear it from you, more than anything, but you and I both know this isn't exactly the best situation."

"But the senator…"

"When the time is right," she said again.

"So, now what?" Nathan asked.

"I'll see you at the party."

"What about Richard?" Nathan pressed.

"I guess we'll find out. Please, don't worry about me."

"It's hard not to," Nathan answered. "You scared me, and now that I've found you again, I don't want to let you go."

"It's just for a little while," Kristin said after a moment.

"And how do you know that?"

"I just know. You trust me?"

Nathan caressed her cheek. "I've always trusted you. I'm just not sure I trust the other forces at play here."

"Everything is going to be all right," Kristin assured him. "Sylvia promises that."

"But-" Nathan protested. But then he heard his voice say the same thing. _Everything's going to be all right_. "Then why are we here?" Nathan asked after a moment.

"We'll find out," Kristin assured him at the same time his far off voice said the same thing.

He sighed, having no choice but to give in. "Very well."

"I know you don't like it, but I don't think we have much of a choice," Kristin stated.

Nathan then placed a gentle kiss to her lips. He knew that Kristin had said it wasn't the right time, but he didn't care. The only thing he could think of was not seeing her again, of her vanishing into thin air again, and he wasn't leaving without kissing her at least once, just in case. "I'll see you tonight," he confirmed. And with that, he left.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

By afternoon, Kristin had to finish things up at the hospital. She had to hail a taxi and get back to the house, which she found out was actually the vacation home that Richard and Sylvia owned. Richard wouldn't be seeing her until just before the party, so she'd be alone for a couple of hours. That, she didn't mind because she wanted to do a bit of looking around as she prepared for the party. She wanted to see if there was some sort of clue that could perhaps shed some light on the situation. It was nearly four when she returned home. That meant she'd have to work quickly; she expected Richard home in the next couple of hours.

She wasn't even sure how many rooms the home had since she'd only seen the bedroom, the bathroom, and the living room that morning. She stood in the living room for a moment and looked around. Then she heard that voice again. _The bedroom; nightstand drawer_.

She entered the bedroom and rifled through the drawer. There were several things of Sylvia's in there; a bottle of lotion, a few books, some old letters, but nothing of significance, nothing that would give any clue as to why she was murdered. But then, in the bottom of the drawer, she found a manila envelope. On the front of the envelope was written the word, 'records'. Kristin took it out, undid the fastener, and opened it. Inside were medical records that belonged to Sylvia.

Kristin read them over carefully. Apparently, Sylvia had a history of miscarrying. In the time that she and Richard had been married, she'd had eight. These records documented every miscarriage. Kristin wondered why they'd be here and not in a hospital somewhere. But this wasn't in any of Lucas' research either. Perhaps it was kept under wraps. Certainly, information like this would likely get to the media, and the senator likely did not want any of this tainting his image. It made sense. Kristin quickly stuffed the records back in the envelope and placed it back where she found it. Still, she didn't know if miscarriages would cause anyone to murder Sylvia.

 _Down the hall; Richard's study_ , she heard the voice say again. _Top right-hand desk drawer._

Kristin sighed. "I don't have time for this; I'm supposed to be getting ready for this party."

 _It'll only take a moment_.

She nodded; she wasn't exactly sure who she was nodding to, but she obediently went down the hall and opened the last door on the left. She just knew that was the study. She stepped inside and opened the desk drawer. There was a stack of documents. How in the world was she going to find the right one? "I thought you said it would only take a moment?"

 _Look for the letter from Frank Knox_.

Kristin recognized the name from the start. Frank Knox had been an integral force in the naval history. And he was appointed secretary of the Navy by President Roosevelt. She leafed through the documents until she found the letter. It was dated just a week prior.

_Mr. Senator,_

_We appreciate your generous donation. You have been a trusted benefactor for years, and we hope you continue, especially in this uncertain time. Although we are not engaged in the war, we fear it is inevitable. The President has expressed his opinion, along with that of Mr. Churchill, and I agree with them; our Allies cannot win the war without us. So, we ask that you consider your next donation very carefully. Our Navy needs you._

_Regards,_

_Frank Knox_

Kristin leafed through a few of the other documents. There were a few newspaper clippings, some of them explaining how the US had given the Japanese an ultimatum-to leave China. "So, what does this have to do with Richard?" she said out loud. "Did he know something more?"

There was no answer this time. Kristin glanced at the clock on the desk. It was nearly 5:00. She didn't have any more time to look for clues at the moment. She neatly arranged the papers in a stack and replaced them back in the drawer. Then she closed the door and headed back to the bedroom to get ready.

She found a forest green gown in the front of the closet; it looked just fancy enough for the occasion, she decided that's what Sylvia was planning to wear. It had short sleeves and a modest neckline. The skirt came to rest just below the knee. None of the bruises would show; Kristin was relieved to that fact. She'd had a hard enough time explaining it all to Nathan. She didn't want to have to explain it to anyone else. She put on stockings and a pair of heels as well; then she went to the bathroom to fix her hair into an up-do and applied makeup. She was just finishing when she heard the front door open.

"Sylvia?" she heard Richard's voice say.

"I'm in here, dear," she called. "I'm nearly finished."

"Come here and let me look at you," Richard said as he entered the bedroom.

Kristin did a spin for him. "Do I look all right?"

"You look wonderful," Richard confirmed. He held out his arm for her to take. "You always do."

She blushed slightly. "Thank you."

"So, how was your day?" he asked, changing into something more suitable for a party.

"Busy; we had a lot of patients today."

"Well, just remember this is only temporary. You know I don't like the thought of you working," Richard reminded her. "You don't need to."

"But I do enjoy it, helping people. Besides, what else do you expect me to do?"

"We've already talked about this, several times over. You were going to raise a family."

"Yes, well, it's kind of hard to do when we don't have one," Kristin said dryly. But the bitterness in her voice surprised her.

Richard slammed his fist on the wall. "Damn it, Sylvia! Do you have to bring that up now? I…I've been trying to be intimate with you. _You_ keep pushing me away. And other times, well…if it weren't for the other night…I told you, I didn't want to force you. I was drunk, and…things got out of hand."

Suddenly, Kristin felt a rush of emotions, and tears welled up in her eyes. Again, she was surprised. Where was this coming from? "Do you think I like being this way? Do you think I _like_ feeling like a failure? Do you know I've delivered a countless number of babies? But, ironically, I can't have one myself. Don't you know how much that kills me? I know you just think it's easy to want to try again, but all I can think of is that it'll be a failed attempt. I…I don't think I can handle another loss like that." By this time, black tears were streaming down her face, her makeup smudged. She took a tissue from the box on the small bedroom table and wiped her eyes with it.

Richard came closer to her. She expected him to wrap his arms around her, attempt to console her in some way, but he didn't. Instead, he said, "We're going to be late. You'd better hurry." And with that, he left the room, leaving Kristin to try to calm herself down.

She still didn't know why she was suddenly so upset. These weren't her feelings, but it finally dawned on her they had to be Sylvia's. She quickly walked into the bathroom to wash her face and calm down. A few more tears, and she felt better. She then reapplied her makeup and headed out to meet Richard.

"All set?" he asked her.

She nodded.

"Good." He offered his arm again. "Please, try to control yourself. We have a lot of people to impress. You think you can handle that?"

"You know I'm no stranger to putting on an _act_ , Richard," she said in a voice she didn't recognize. "I certainly wouldn't want to taint your perfect image."


	5. And What The Good Book Says

The ride back to the base was quiet; neither of them spoke to one another. And as they neared the base, Kristin felt her anger subside. Really, she wasn't sure why she was so angry. She had surmised that Sylvia had to have been angry, and rightly so. It seemed Richard wasn't a very sensitive husband. Kristin had also guessed that not only was she reliving certain events in Sylvia's life, but she would also be feeling whatever Sylvia had felt at the time. That made sense. But obviously, there was one small, niggling thought in the back of her mind: Sylvia's death.

How long would they be in this time period? And if she was essentially Sylvia Mayfield, would that mean… Well, she didn't want to think that her days might be numbered. And even if they were, she couldn't guess who might be responsible. Certainly, it could have been Richard; perhaps he'd been so angry about Sylvia's lack of intimacy with him that he just snapped. But there was one thing that surprised her thus far: that even though Richard seemed to be angry with Sylvia for certain things, he also genuinely appeared to love her, even if the way he expressed that love was rather unconventional. Perhaps Sylvia and Richard were no longer in love with one another, however. Kristin decided she was going to have to try to figure out what had happened between them. And although it was odd, she hoped she'd keep hearing Sylvia's voice. Perhaps she would shed light on all of these questions.

But as Richard parked the car, all these thoughts had to be kept at bay. Richard got out of the car, walked around to the other side, and opened her door. He offered his arm to her. "Now, please, make a good impression for me."

"Of course, dear," she answered. She put on her best smile, but mostly because she knew she'd be seeing her friends.

They entered the hall, arm in arm, which was filled with scores of people. Kristin scanned the crowd, but it was difficult to pick out faces. All she saw was uniform after uniform. Richard then whisked her away, introducing her to admiral after admiral, captain after captain, and so on. She did her best to try to keep names straight, especially since some of them, she'd recognized from the UEO museum in Pearl, but it was difficult. By the time they finally reached Nathan's group, she was dizzy. But she gave her best smile when Richard introduced them.

"And this is Captain Jack Remington, captain of the _USS Nautilus_. Admiral Kimmel has told me a lot about you," Richard gushed. He gave Kristin a little push forward. "And this is my wife, Sylvia."

Nathan took the senator's hand and gave it a strong shake. "I've heard a lot about you as well, Senator. It's such an honor to finally meet one of the men responsible for doing so much for our cause." Then he eyed Kristin and took her hand, placing a light kiss over it. "And seeing your lovely wife once again. We actually met earlier today at the clinic."

Kristin let out a nervous laugh since she was unsure of how Richard would react to another man flirting with his wife.

But Richard didn't seem to notice. He grabbed two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter, handed one to Kristin, and started talking about the future improvements for the _Nautilus_ , which Kristin found to be a rather boring conversation. She looked around and saw Katie and some of the other science personnel from the _seaQuest_. She attempted to excuse herself.

"I'm just going to let you two talk," she began.

But the senator placed a hand on her arm, giving it a squeeze…and not a gentle one either. He made it so any onlookers wouldn't notice, however. It was a gesture that indicated power. Kristin bit her lip so as not to cry out. "Don't go yet, darling; we have a lot more people to meet."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

One hour later, Richard and Sylvia had met every admiral, secretary, commander, lieutenant, and ensign in the room. And by this time, Richard was well on his way to intoxication. He finally released his hold on her, and she was allowed to leave his side and mingle. By this time, however, she needed some time alone. She walked through the open doors and onto the beach; the night air was warm, and the sound of the waves lapping up on the shore was relaxing.

She took a deep breath and sat down in the sand. She was lost in her thoughts when she suddenly heard a voice behind her.

"There you are; I'd wondered where you'd gone off to," Nathan told her.

She stood and turned to him. "I just needed a little air; it's awfully stuffy in there. Did Richard send you to find me?"

Nathan shook his head. "No; frankly, I'm not sure if the senator's noticed your absence. He seems a little preoccupied," he answered hesitantly.

"Flirting with all the young women, is he?"

Nathan gave her a surprised look. "Well, yes. How did you-"

"Sylvia," she answered simply. "So, now that you've met the senator, what do you think of him?"

"Honestly, I don't care for him. And I don't like the way he treated you back there. Are you all right? Your arm…"

Kristin's face reddened. "You _saw_ that?"

Nathan gently took her arm and brought her into a patch of moonlight so he could see her arm better. Sure enough, although they were light, the imprint of fingers could be seen, the marks a reddish color. "Does it hurt?" The concern was evident in his voice.

"No," she whispered. "We…we really shouldn't be doing this," she added nervously.

"Doing what? Talking?"

She gently pulled her arm away. "You know what I mean. I'm supposed to be a married woman. If we act too friendly with one another, that might alter the events of the past. And I'm not sure we're supposed to do that."

"I just came out to talk to you, to see how you were, that's all," Nathan replied. "But if that bothers you, I'll leave you be." He turned to go back inside.

"Wait," Kristin called after him. "I'm sorry. I…I'm just…I'm just trying to figure out what I should do, and I'm just trying not to make any mistakes."

Nathan turned back to her. "I don't think you can make a mistake. You said you heard Sylvia's voice, correct?"

She nodded. "But…but I can't really hear her now. I only hear her at certain times. I don't even know if she's around at the moment. So I'm not sure what I should do or what I should say."

"I think you should do and say what you want. I'm sure Sylvia will direct you just like Jack is directing me," Nathan said thoughtfully. "Something told me to come find you," he added.

"Jack?" she guessed.

"I remember someone told me there's a reason certain things happen and that finding Sylvia was no accident." He put a gentle arm around her shoulders. "Do you know who that might have been?"

A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Yes, but…"

"So just keep telling yourself there are no accidents here. I think we're just supposed to go with it. Didn't you tell me once you did a little acting when you were in college?"

"My first year, yes, but that was ages ago," Kristin stated.

"Well, you're doing an improvisational act. Occasionally, your director will give you cues, but for the most part, you're on your own. You'll be fine," Nathan encouraged. "I don't think there's a right or wrong here."

She gave him a smile. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd done this before. When did you become so wise?"

"It's a gift," he quipped. "Now," he said, taking her arm in his hand again, "is your arm all right?"

"It's fine," she assured him. "It's a little tender, that's all."

Nathan placed a gentle kiss where the red marks were. "I still don't like the thought of you being alone with him. It's only been a day, and you've already been hurt."

"Don't worry; it seems to me the senator is more concerned with me being a decoration for his arm than anything else," Kristin said dryly. "And it seems he has enough entertainment for the moment." She pointed towards the door of the hall, which could be seen from the beach. Just near the door was the senator with a woman on each arm. The three of them were giggling and drinking champagne, and Richard turned and kissed one of them. "Apparently, he's busy with his whores," she added. "I'm learning more and more about their marriage, and it's full of discord."

"I'm sorry," Nathan said sincerely. "Do you want to go back inside? A lot of the members of the crew have been asking about you, especially Lucas."

She nodded, deciding that would cheer her up. That's what she wanted to do in the first place-see her friends. "Lead the way."

Nathan offered his arm and the two walked back into the hall, right past Richard and his new 'friends'. Again, however, Richard did not seem to notice since he was obviously too busy.

Once Nathan led her over to faces she recognized, Kristin forgot all about Richard. She was so happy to see all of them. Of course, some she had seen earlier, but she hadn't gotten to have much of a conversation with them, and some she hadn't seen at all. She almost felt as though they were all back on _seaQuest_ in the mess hall. The others crowded around her, all their voices laced with concern.

However, after she assured them she was fine, they seemed to calm down a bit.

Ben approached her right away and made a bow in front of her. "May I have this dance?"

Kristin chuckled and accepted. She turned to Nathan and said, "See you in a bit."

Ben led her out onto the dance floor. "So, are you doing all right...with your new identity and all?"

Kristin smiled. "It's taking some getting used to, but it's an experience."

They heard some giggling and turned their heads in the direction; the noise had come from the senator and the women he was with.

"Uh, the senator…he…seems like an…interesting man," Ben stammered.

Kristin waved a hand. "You don't need to struggle for something kind to say about him. It's obvious he isn't the _ideal_ husband."

"I just feel like all of this is my fault."

"Your fault? How could you possibly think that?"

"I'm the one who found that old chest. And…and you remember what the captain had said…and Lucas. Maybe there was a curse," Ben muttered.

Kristin laughed. "I assure you, Mr. Krieg, this is not your fault. It was just…an odd coincidence."

Ben sighed. "I've been worrying about it since this morning, with what's supposed to happen to you. What if…I don't…I don't want anything to happen to you."

Those words touched her so. On _seaQuest_ , she and Ben were never particularly close. There was a love/hate relationship between them, and most of the time, it was hate. She felt tears threaten to fall. She cleared her throat and tried to keep her voice steady. "I…I never knew you cared."

"I know I give you a hard time," Ben replied, "but of course I care about you. You didn't know that?"

She shrugged. "I wasn't sure."

"Well, to let you know, I do care about you, Doc. And, I certainly don't want anything to happen to you." He nodded his head towards the rest of the crew. "Now I know they're all looking out for you, especially the captain, but I want you to know I'm doing the same. And if anything does happen to you, I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive myself."

She wrapped her arms around him tighter as they danced and brought her lips closer to his ear. "Thank you. That means a lot to me, but Sylvia promised everything would be all right."

"Well, I certainly hope so."

The dance ended, and Ben ushered her back to the others.

"Well, don't you two look cheery?" Nathan observed.

"Don't worry, Cap, she's all yours now," Ben stated, leaving Kristin's side and going to engage in conversation with some of the others.

Nathan took her arm. "As long as you've saved a dance for me."

She nodded. "Of course."

Nathan led her back out onto the dance floor. "So what was that all about?"

"Mr. Krieg was just sharing his concerns about what's going on here. Apparently, he's worried this is all his fault, since he was the one who found the chest," she explained. "And the talk of curses didn't help matters much either."

"And what did you tell him?"

"I told him that this was just an odd coincidence and that it's no one's fault."

"And you really believe that?" Nathan pressed.

"I really don't know what I think," she admitted, "but I don't want anyone thinking they're responsible for this. I do still think certain things happen for a reason. It seems Sylvia and I are connected…somehow…"

"Yes, but I hope there is one thing you don't have in common."

"Everything's going to be fine."

"You know, you keep saying that," Nathan observed, "but you don't sound very convincing."

"It's because I'm trying to convince myself, but Sylvia promised me-"

Again, the senator's laughter could be heard from the other side of the room.

"I'm doing my best to trust her as well," Nathan replied, "but I don't trust _him._ "

"I understand that, but can we just have a few moments where we don't talk about the senator or my death? _Please_?"

"I'm sorry; of course. What would you like to talk about?"

She shook her head and laid it on his shoulder, meaning she didn't want to talk. But she suddenly remembered where she was and removed it.

 _Go head, you know you want to_ , Sylvia's voice said.

Kristin smiled and laid her head on his shoulder once again. They danced that way for a long time.

But after several dances, there was a tap on Nathan's shoulder. It was the senator.

"We were just dancing," Nathan started, assuming the senator was going to lecture.

But the senator waved a hand. In slurred speech, he said something that sounded like, "I have business to take care of; you'll find a ride home." And with that, he turned and left the hall, the two women following behind him.

Kristin sighed. "Well, I guess we don't need to worry about him for the night."

"This happens often?" Nathan asked.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure, but I'm guessing it might. No word from Sylvia yet," she admitted.

"I'll drive you home when you're ready."

"I could just take a cab, you know." She already knew that wasn't happening, however. And, honestly, she was glad Nathan and Ben and the others were almost overly concerned about her. She wasn't used to that kind of attention, but this time, it seemed it was warranted.

Nathan simply gave her a look that said, 'I don't think so.' "It's late; we can stay as long as you'd like, or we can leave right now."

She glanced towards the group; the whole crew was still there, even Lucas. "Well, there is one more thing I'd like to do first." She headed towards Lucas, _Henry_. "May I have this dance, sailor?"

Lucas smiled and led her to the dance floor. "I thought you'd never ask, Doc." He put his arms around her and they swayed back and forth to the music.

"Well, I just thought I'd congratulate you on your enlistment," she teased gently. "And, I'm not sure how much time we'll have to spend together. I didn't want you to think I was ignoring you."

Lucas shook his head. "I wouldn't think that at all. I…I know you have a lot going on here."

"Do you have somewhere to stay?"

He nodded. "I'm staying with Carlos Sanchez."

"Who?"

Lucas leaned closer and whispered, "Miguel Ortiz. Apparently, Henry doesn't have any living family, and neither does Carlos."

She nodded in understanding. "I see. Well, perhaps I should be sure to tell Carlos that he take good care of you for me."

"I'm not a baby, Doc," Lucas reminded her.

"I know; I know. I just worry."

"Well, we're the ones who need to worry about you. You-"

She held up a hand in warning. "Please, not you, too. I've heard quite enough for the evening."

"Sorry. We're just concerned."

"Believe me, I know. But we just need to trust it, like on the _George_ ," Kristin reminded.

Lucas gave her a look. "You…you said that was nitrogen narcosis."

"I'm starting to change my mind," she replied.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Meanwhile, back in the present day, UEO Headquarters was full of activity. The fact that _seaQuest_ happened to be in the direct path of the storms was cause for concern, so everyone was ordered to be on alerts. But, even though the storm had subsided slightly, _seaQuest_ could still not be located. This was worrying, especially to Admiral Noyce, who paced around the technicians sitting in front of their computers, all looking for any sign of _seaQuest_ on their radar.

"Any luck, Atkins?" the admiral asked one of the techs, looking over his shoulder at the radar screen.

"I'm sorry, sir," Atkins answered. "None at all. It's almost as if...she's disappeared."

"This isn't the Bermuda Triangle; submarines cannot just disappear," the admiral insisted. But part of him knew that Atkins was right; no matter how one wanted to slice it, it seemed _seaQuest_ had literally vanished into thin air. He only hoped they'd find her again.


	6. If I'm Going Anywhere

Finally, Nathan and Kristin said their goodbyes and left the base hall. When the car pulled up in front of Sylvia and Richard's vacation home, Kristin turned to him.

"Thank you for taking me home; I'd ask you to come in, but I know you were going to anyway," she said, a slight smile on her face.

Nathan chuckled. "Am I that obvious? Of course, if you're tired, I could-"

"No…I mean, I don't really feel like being alone just yet."

Nathan nodded, got out of the car, and opened her door; they walked inside together.

Once inside, Kristin said, "Make yourself at home. I hope you don't mind, but I'd like to change into something more comfortable; I at least want to take off these heels. My feet are not used to this kind of punishment."

"I'll wait right here," Nathan told her, having a seat on the sofa while Kristin headed into the bedroom and closed the door behind her.

Once alone, she heard Sylvia's voice in her head again. _Knock, knock._

Kristin nearly jumped. "Oh, _now_ you decide to show up," she muttered quietly. "Where were you before? I felt lost at the party."

_Well, you told me not to make a habit of it. I just thought I'd show you that I was respecting your wishes._

"Oh, bloody hell." Apparently, Sylvia had a sense of humor. "I was worried I was going to make a mistake. I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to do here."

_You'll find out in due time. And you won't make a mistake. You did just fine. Jack told you that._

She sighed. Nathan, _aka Jack_ , did assure her to just go with the flow. "Very well."

She began to change out of her frock and slipped into a nightgown. She then put a robe over it and went into the bathroom to remove her makeup and to brush her hair out.

"So," Kristin continued, as she brushed her hair, "What about you and Jack?" It had been odd at first to carry on a conversation with someone she couldn't see, but she found it easier as time went on.

_What about us?_

"Well, were you a couple? Nathan and I…well, you know about us, I assume?"

She heard a soft chuckle. _Yes, I'm aware of your blossoming romance. And you want to know if Jack and I were the same way?_

"Exactly," Kristin replied. "Some of the feelings I have when I'm with him…well, I'm not sure if those are _my_ feelings as Kristin or mine as Sylvia. You understand?"

_I think if I told you now, you'd resist the inevitable. Just go with your instincts._

"But what if I-"

_I have to go now; just go to him. You'll be fine._

Kristin sighed. She didn't quite like the fact that if Sylvia could communicate with her, why couldn't she just tell her everything right then and there? And she didn't quite like the fact that Sylvia had said, _"You'd resist the inevitable."_ Kristin hoped those words weren't a bad omen of some sort. Unfortunately, there wasn't much she could do to prevent it either. She had to just 'go with the flow.'

A knock at the door caused her to forget her worries for the moment. "Is everything all right in there?" Nathan called.

"Y-yes, everything's fine; I'll be right out," Kristin replied, checking her appearance in the mirror one last time before leaving the bathroom. She then opened the door. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

Nathan waved a hand. "It's fine; I just thought I heard talking. Is everything all right?"

Normally, Kristin was open and honest with Nathan. He already knew she heard Sylvia's voice as he heard Jack's. However, this time, she didn't feel like sharing all the details. She knew all of them were trying to figure out what exactly was going on here and what it was they were supposed to be doing in this time period. But she felt she had to do this on her own, to try to figure out what exactly was 'inevitable'. She already knew Nathan and the others were worried about her, so she didn't want to add to that. She gave him a smile. "Everything's fine; I was just talking to myself."

Nathan chuckled. "And did you give yourself the right answers?"

She shrugged and tried to force a smile of her own. "I'm not sure." She then changed the subject, "Um, would you like anything? A drink perhaps?"

"No, thank you. I…I just thought we could talk…about anything you want to talk about." He sat down and patted the spot on the sofa next to him. "Have a seat," he urged. "Where should we start?"

She nodded and sat next to him, but she suddenly felt nervous and wasn't sure why. She suddenly felt…different. And there was one thing she wanted to know about Jack. "Are you married, Mr. Remington?"

Nathan gave her an odd look at first, but suddenly followed suit. "Please, call me Jack," he insisted. "I was at one time, but my wife and son were killed in a train accident five years ago." He was surprised by how sad he suddenly felt. Certainly, he could sympathize, considering his loss of Carol and Robert. But it didn't take him long to finally realize he was feeling _Jack's_ feelings. He was no longer Nathan anymore. And at that same time, he realized Kristin was no longer herself, but rather Sylvia.

"I…I'm so sorry," she said sincerely. "It must be so hard for you."

Nathan nodded. "Thank you for your sympathies; I manage, though. What about you? You never wanted children?"

"We'd tried, but it…it never worked out." She suddenly stood and walked to a cabinet with double doors; she opened one of the doors and took out a photo album. She handed it to him.

He gave her a questioning look, but she gave him a nod, urging him to open it.

He did so. Inside, he saw pictures of Sylvia and Richard in their younger days, looking happy and joyful. He saw pictures of them on their wedding day. Then he turned the page and saw pictures of Sylvia holding a baby. He gave her a questioning look.

"We…we were happy once. And when Penelope came along, everything was perfect…or at least it seemed so," she told him, her voice thick with emotion. "But our happiness was short-lived."

"What happened?"

"Penelope was sick. She was born a few weeks early, which meant her lungs weren't as developed. After staying in the hospital for a week after she was born, however, the doctors felt she was well enough to come home."

"But she wasn't?"

She shook her head sadly. "Her immune system was weakened because of her prematurity. As a doctor myself, I should have known that, but it's always a different story when it's your own child. I didn't want to believe it, even after she'd gotten her first cold at just three weeks old. After that, it was just one illness after another. When she was just six-months old, she…she developed a respiratory infection that eventually led to pneumonia." She took a deep breath as she felt tears threaten to fall. She tried to keep them at bay, but to no avail. "I…I…I had never felt so helpless as a doctor. When it's your own child, it's even more heartbreaking." She finally broke down, no longer able to hold her tears off. She slowly sank to the floor, hugging herself, sobbing uncontrollably.

Nathan quickly deduced that little Penelope never recovered from her pneumonia and was at her side in a moment, wrapping his arms around her. "Shh," Nathan soothed. "It's all right." All he could do was hold her and try to provide some sort of support. Several minutes later, he heard her sobs subside.

"Better?" he asked.

"A little," she mumbled into his shoulder. Suddenly, she pushed him away gently and stood. "I…I'm sorry…I didn't mean-"

"You have nothing to apologize for," Nathan said sincerely, pushing himself to his feet. "I never knew you and the senator had any children."

She shrugged. "Most people don't; we don't talk about it. She was born just one year after Richard and I married. But after she died, everything changed, including me. Richard doesn't quite understand that."

"Is that why he treats you the way he does?"

She sighed. "Richard tried for a long time to get me to come around. Part of me feels like it's my fault. After we lost Penelope, it…it was like a nightmare. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. And I felt like such a failure, as a mother, as a doctor, even as a person. Finally, after months of begging me to try again for another child, I relented, against my better judgment. And it wasn't long before I was pregnant again."

"But you weren't happy?"

"Richard was, and I wanted to be. I really did. Every woman wants a child, doesn't she? But then there was a part of me that didn't want one. What if this child was ill too? What if I was a failure as a parent? What if…well, there were too many 'what ifs' for me. I miscarried a few weeks later. And do you know that was the happiest I'd been in a while? Isn't that horrible? I…I just don't know what happened to me…" A few tears began to fall once again. "I mean, what kind of woman is happy about a miscarriage?"

Nathan wrapped his arms around her again. "One that is going through a whirlpool of emotions; you're _not_ a horrible person. Have you ever spoken to anyone about this? Like a doctor?"

She scoffed. "Oh, just what a politician wants; his wife going to visit a shrink." She shook her head. "No, it would never work. Richard is adamant that we maintain the image of the perfect couple for publicity reasons. If the public only knew the irony in that; our marriage is far from perfect. Shortly after Penelope's passing, Richard was elected mayor. And his political career began. He worked his way up the ladder, as most politicians do. About the time he became governor, that's when our marriage really began to crumble."

"But, why didn't you-" Nathan began.

"I know what you're going to say; you want to know why I didn't leave? I did leave once, but it didn't last long. I…I'd found out I was pregnant again, and…and I just couldn't handle it alone. I needed him. Richard and I have been married for fifteen years; even through our ups and downs, he…he was there for me. I really don't have anyone else; my own parents are long gone, and I have no siblings, no other family. I've had eight miscarriages since Penelope's death; the last one was just this past summer." She paused for a moment and shook her head. "I…it's only been in the last few years that…that Richard's been…the way he is. I think he's finally given up. I…I know he loves the woman I used to be, but…but I'm not that woman anymore. I'm just…broken," she responded sadly.

"Wait a minute; you think you _deserve_ what he does to you?"

"Well, of course not, but I don't blame him either. I haven't exactly been the easiest person to put up with all these years," she explained.

"But that doesn't give him the right to do what he does. And you're not broken; certainly, you have so many wonderful things to offer," Nathan assured her. "You're a wonderful doctor."

"Oh, please, Jack, you don't even know me. You sat through one exam with me, that's all. How could you possibly _know_ how wonderful I am? I assure you, I'm not," she said, moving away from him again, turning her back to him. "I'm hopelessly flawed," she added quietly, "possibly more than you'll ever know."

He stood and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Maybe I just see more in you than he does. You're charming and smart, kind, gentle."

She slowly turned to look at him, "But-"

"Ssh," he urged kindly. "And you're beautiful…and so easy to love." He slowly brought his lips closer to hers.

"Jack, I-" she began to protest, but before she could say anything more, he closed the gap between them. The kiss was gentle at first, but it quickly deepened into something more. A moment later, she suddenly came to her senses and gave him a gentle push, breaking the kiss. "Jack, I'm a married woman." But her tone wasn't very chastising.

"An _unhappily_ married woman," he corrected. "I…I'm not going to pressure you into something you don't want, but I think you and I both know there's something happening here between us."

"I…" she began. "M-maybe you should leave." She quickly turned away from him.

"So, that's it?" he questioned.

She turned back to him, standing in the doorway of the bedroom. "Well, what did you expect? I'm a married woman. Whether I'm unhappy or not, I'm still married."

He chuckled softly. "And you don't think this is a bit of irony? Your husband isn't here, and you know full well he's being unfaithful."

"What is it you want from me, Jack? If you think for one _second_ that I'm going to justify every detail of my life to you, you have another thing coming!" The anger in her voice suddenly surprised her, causing her to change her tone. "I…I'm sorry; I didn't mean to yell."

"No, it's perfectly all right. You're absolutely correct; you don't need to justify things to me."

"Look, Mr. Remington, we've only just met today, and you already know more about me than most people do. I performed your examination at the clinic, and my husband pawned me off on you at the party. You've given me a ride home, but really, what else is there for you here? You have no obligations to me whatsoever. I suggest you wash your hands of me," she stated. "Thank you for everything." She held out her hand to shake.

"No…I mean, you just want to cut ties like that?"

"Well, certainly, I'm sure my husband will contact you for the purpose of funding, but you and I shouldn't need to see one another again. It's…it's better this way."

"For whom? I know damned well you don't believe that."

"Please…we really should part ways." She held out her hand again.

He took it, reluctantly. "Are you _sure_ this is what you want?" He looked deep into her eyes, searching for an answer.

"Jack, I-" she began. "I…I learned a long time ago that it doesn't always matter what I want."

"You want to be alone?" he pressed.

She shook her head. "Not really."

"I could stay with you…just as a friend." He held up his hands. "Promise; we'll just talk, if that's what you want."

She thought for a moment. "A-all right; I guess there's no harm in that."

"And, I'm sorry…about the kiss," he added.

"I'm not," she admitted. "I mean, it was…nice."

"But it was forward of me; I shouldn't have," he replied.

She shrugged. "If things were different, I…I probably would say yes."

"It doesn't mean we can't change things in the near future," he suggested.

"How about we just go one day at a time? I don't think I can handle more than that."

He smiled and put an arm around her shoulders. "It's a deal. Thank you."

"No, thank you." She headed toward the kitchen. "So, how about some tea? I'm having a cup myself."

"If you're having one, then so will I," he answered. "Thank you."

"Of course." She filled the teapot with water and put it on the stove top. Then she reentered the living room and sat next to him.

"Well, how about we start over then?" he suggested.

She smiled. "I'd like that. I…hope I didn't make you too uncomfortable before. I…I probably said too much."

He shook his head. "Don't apologize. I think you needed a shoulder to cry on and a confidante. And I'm glad I could help."

"Thank you. It was nice to be able to tell someone," she admitted.

"You don't have any girlfriends in Washington?"

She shook her head. "The only women I'm allowed to socialize with are the other political wives." She sighed. "All they talk about is shopping and social events. That isn't me. I'm a doctor, and I'm more interested in intellectual endeavors. But none of them are interested in such things. After Penelope, I took a hiatus from work. And after that, Richard suggested I don't go back at all."

"And you didn't argue?"

"By that point, it seemed futile. Penelope was getting sicker. And, after she passed, I lost my desire. By the time I'd found it, I was pregnant again. Since Richard became senator, he likes it when I can offer my services to bolster his career. So, yes, I'm allowed to volunteer, like I'm doing here. But to have a full time position at the hospital back home, no, that's out of the question," she said sadly. She did her best impression of Richard, "Darling, you don't need to work. You're a senator's wife. Act like it." Then he always adds, "And I want you home to take care of the babies." That always makes me feel guilty, so I give in."

"So you should feel guilty, but he shouldn't?"

She sighed. "I admit, I don't always know what the senator thinks anymore."

The teapot whistled, and she got up to make the tea. "Milk or sugar?" she asked after a moment.

"Please," he answered.

When she returned with the tea, the two sipped quietly and continued talking. "You know, we've spoken lot about me. What about you? Do you have any family? Parents? Brothers or sisters?"

He shook his head. "My parents are gone, and my brother died young. My crew is my family now. You met them at the party. What did you think?"

She smiled. "They seem very kind," she admitted. "Even at the hospital on the base, everyone is so…welcoming. I almost feel like I'm at home here. It almost makes me sad to go back to Washington. I'm glad we're here in Pearl for a few weeks though. Maybe I'll make some friends here."

He took her hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "You already have."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Three cups of tea and two hours later, the two were still deep in conversation, although they were both getting tired.

She tried to stifle a yawn. "Sorry," she muttered.

"I should probably let you get some sleep," he finally said.

"But, you're tired, too," she countered. "You could…stay here…on the couch, I mean."

He thought for a moment. The drive home would be trying, and he didn't want to risk an accident. "I need to be on the base in the morning."

"And I need to be at the clinic. There's no telling if Richard will even come home, but I'm an early riser. I'll wake you," she assured him. "I'll be right back with a pillow and some blankets." With that, she left the room; she returned a few minutes later, arms laden with a pillow and a few blankets. "I hope these are all right."

"Oh, they're fine," he assured her. "Thank you."

She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Goodnight, Jack. Thank you for everything."

"It was my pleasure, Sylvia; sleep well."


	7. I'll Probably Go Too Far

Sometime in the middle of the night, Kristin awoke with little memory of what had happened just a few hours earlier. She remembered glimpses, small snippets. She remembered speaking with Nathan, and she remembered being upset, though she couldn't tell why. She couldn't really remember much more than that, though. That was odd. She usually didn't have short term memory issues, and she'd only had one glass of champagne at the party. That certainly wasn't enough to put her into an altered state of consciousness, let alone make her forget actions or even words. She looked to her right; she was in bed alone. Richard wasn't home, not that she expected him to be.

However, a thought suddenly came to her. "Sylvia?" she whispered. "Have you had a hand in this?"

There was no answer. Kristin sighed, for some reason knowing it would be useless to try again. She lay back down and tried to get back to sleep. It wasn't long before she felt herself succumb to sleep once more, thoughts of Sylvia on her mind.

_She didn't know how long she was asleep when she felt strong hands shaking her shoulders, causing her to wake. It took a few moments for her eyes to adjust in the dim light. When they did, she saw that it was Richard. Her heart sank slightly._

_Before she knew it, she and Richard were engaged in a heated argument. He was making accusations, and she did her best to defend herself. She honestly didn't even know what he was angry for. At first, she suspected it was the fact Nathan was sleeping on the couch, but now, he was gone, the blankets neatly folded._

_Suddenly, Richard lunged at her, knocking her to the ground. She begged him to stop, pleaded with him. But he ignored her and continued his rage. He was now on top of her, overpowering her._

_Kristin screamed, struggling to free herself, but to no avail. Richard then removed his tie from his neck and used it to tie her wrists together. The ties were so tight, she could barely feel her hands. She tried to get loose, but she couldn't. Richard finally stood, leaving her alone for a few moments. Kristin called for help, but no one came. She felt tears sting her eyes. Richard returned a few moments later, a handkerchief in his hands. He wasted no time in tying it around her head, using it as a gag for her mouth._

_She did her best to continue making noise through the gag, hoping that someone might hear her. But the vacation home was on the outskirts of the city; the neighbor's home was a good half mile away. No one heard her, and Nathan was nowhere to be found. Richard picked her up and dragged her out the back door and out onto the dock._

_She struggled against him, but he was too strong. Her eyes widened when she saw the trunk sitting on the edge of the dock. Richard proceeded to push her down on her back, some bailing twine in his hands. She continued to cry, beg, and plead, but he ignored her. He tied her ankles together and placed her inside the trunk. She let out one last cry as the lid was closed._

Kristin awoke with a blood-curdling scream. It took her a moment to realize it was all just a horrible dream, and when she did, painful sobs escaped her throat. She was completely unaware that she wasn't alone. And when she felt hands go around her shoulders, she screamed once again and began struggling.

"Sylvia, shh, it's me," Nathan said, turning on the light. "Please, it's…it's me," he said again.

It took her a few moments to realize she was actually safe, and when she did, she clung to him and sobbed into his shoulder. The reality of Sylvia's demise was finally catching up with her. And if she indeed was Sylvia Mayfield, it was hard to put her trust into an entity she couldn't even see. She was frightened, and she couldn't pretend she wasn't anymore.

Nathan did his best to soothe and comfort her. He'd never seen Kristin in such a vulnerable state before. "Shh," he soothed again. "It's all right. You're safe, Sylvia."

Kristin finally pulled away from him and wiped her eyes with her hands. "Why…why do you keep calling me Sylvia?"

Nathan gave her a look. "I thought…you mean you're _not_ her?"

She sighed. "Not at the moment. I mean, my mind knows I'm Kristin Westphalen. But last night, well, I seem to have…forgotten what happened. It's almost as if I've lost a few hours."

Nathan nodded. "I…I noticed the slight change," he admitted. "It honestly wasn't much of one, except you kept referring to me as Jack. And your demeanor changed slightly, but only someone who knew you well would notice that."

"Well, I assure you I'm Kristin now," she told him. "I'm sorry I woke you. I…just had a nightmare."

Nathan still had his arm around her shoulders, and he could feel her trembling. "You don't need to apologize. That must have been some dream," he noted. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She thought for a moment. Voicing her worries to him did certainly seem appealing. However, she also knew how concerned he was for _her,_ and she certainly didn't want to add to that concern. She shook her head. "Maybe later, thank you."

Nathan really looked at her, trying to determine what was going on in that head of hers. He knew she was scared, and he only wanted to help her, though he also knew he couldn't push her. "All right; well, if you're better, I guess I'll let you get back to sleep." He placed a gentle kiss to her forehead before standing. "Sweet dreams." He turned to go back to the sofa, but Kristin interrupted him.

"Wait," she cried.

He turned back to her.

"I mean," she said. "C-could you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep? _Please_?"

Nathan had never heard her voice sound so small, the effect heartbreaking. "You don't need to ask," he said, taking the place next to her on the bed once again. "I'll stay with you as long as you need."

She gave him a grateful smile and readjusted the blankets so he would have some. After they were comfortable and cozy, Nathan shut off the light. Once he did so, he felt Kristin move closer to him, her head on his shoulder once again. He moved his arm so that it was around her; when he did so, he could still feel she was trembling. "You want to talk?" he asked.

"That might help," she replied. "Something to ease my mind."

"Something to ease your mind," Nathan repeated thoughtfully. "How about we talk about the reef classifications?"

"What?"

"The reef classifications," Nathan said again. "You haven't forgotten already, have you?"

"No, of course not…but it seems like it was ages ago."

"You and I both know how science excites you. In fact, I have a little trivia game we could play," Nathan suggested. "What do you say?"

"A trivia game? Like what?" Kristin asked, her interest now sparked.

"Well, do you remember playing Alphabets as a child?" Nathan inquired. "You know the game where one person calls out a name of a state and the next person has to think of a state that starts with the last letter? Well, this will be a variation," Nathan explained.

She chuckled softly. "I do recall that game," she replied, "but we Brits call it Connections."

"Well, fine, we'll play _Connections_ then, except instead of states, we use the Latin names for your specimens. I thought it might be challenging. So, are you game?" Nathan asked hopefully. He had a feeling such a game would help take her mind off of whatever she had dreamt.

"All right," Kristin agreed. "I suppose that could be interesting."

"Then you start," he said.

"Do you know all your Latin names?" she teased, gently giving his arm a push.

"I remember more than you think," he promised. "You start, and I'll follow."

"Very well; something easy to begin. _Codium arabicum._ "

Nathan chuckled. " _That's_ easy?"

"You said you remembered your Latin names," Kristin stated. "And I thought it was easy."

"You're right, I did." He thought for a few minutes. " _Martensia fragilis_."

"That's very impressive," Kristin commented.

"I told you I remember more than you think," he assured her. "You didn't think I'd have suggested the game if I didn't?"

"I admit, I had my doubts."

Nathan smiled softly to himself. This was the effect he'd hoped this little game would have. He felt Kristin relax against him, and she wasn't trembling anymore. She was having fun, and as long as she was having fun, so was he. "It's your turn," he reminded.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," she said.

And so, the two continued their game back and forth for quite a while. And it seemed to do what it was intended to do because eventually, Kristin started stifling yawns as she continued to spout off Latin names for the reef life. " _Paracirrhites_ ," she said quietly.

Nathan sighed. They'd been going back and forth, neither one of them backing down. "You want to stop? You're getting tired again," he noted.

"No, we need to finish," she insisted, yawning again.

"Yes, but we both need to get up in a few hours. We can continue this later."

"I'm fine," she said with a wave of her hand. "It's your turn."

"I know," he said. But after a few minutes, he couldn't think of anything that hadn't already been said. "I'm thinking, but…I really can't think of anything else. I guess this means you've won." Now, Nathan expected a bit of a protest from her, but he was surprised to hear nothing. "Kristin?" he whispered after a moment when she didn't answer.

The only answer he received was her quiet steady breathing. Nathan was happy she'd finally fallen asleep, but he suddenly realized he was in a predicament of his own. She was still nuzzled into his shoulder; if he moved, he'd surely wake her. So, he simply hugged her a little tighter and kissed her gently on the cheek. "Sleep well, Kristin." And it wasn't long before he fell sleep as well.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**November 29, 1941**

The sunlight streaming in through the curtains caused Kristin to wake. She found that Nathan was still sleeping next to her, his arms still around her. She couldn't say she was upset about this fact. She nuzzled against him. "Good morning, sleepyhead," she drawled softly.

Nathan gave her a smile. "I trust you slept well?"

She nodded. "No more nightmares," she replied. "Thank you."

"I'm just glad I was here to help. What time is it?"

"Just a little after five. I thought-"

But at that moment, they heard a key in the front door; a moment later, it opened. The cough that followed told them that it was Richard.

"Oh, no. In the bathroom," she whispered to Nathan.

Nathan didn't waste any time. He wasn't sure how angry the senator would be if he saw his wife in bed with another man, even if nothing happened. But he didn't want to risk it either. He headed into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

Richard walked into the bedroom a moment later, this time more sober than when Kristin had last seen him. "Good morning," she said calmly.

Richard gave her a nod and motioned towards the window. "Is that the captain's car outside?"

"Um, yes; Captain Remington offered me a ride home after the party, and it was so late, I offered him the sofa for the night," she explained.

"Oh, I see," he answered. He happened to look towards the bed, and Kristin could see he was staring at the empty side where Nathan lay just a few minutes before. "Where is he then?"

"Um, well..."

Having been listening, Nathan came out of the bathroom, feeling it was a good time. "Good morning, Senator."

"Good morning, Captain," Richard greeted him stiffly. "I suppose I should offer my gratitude for taking care of my wife. Thank you."

"Well, you're very welcome." He gave Kristin a small smile. "It was my pleasure."

She returned the smile, but it quickly faded when she noticed the disapproving look she was getting from Richard.

"Well, I actually need to get to the office right away, so as long as you're here, Captain, any chance you're going back to the base?" Richard continued, still glaring at his wife.

"Yes, indeed, I am. I could give Sylvia a lift, if that's what you're getting at," Nathan offered, not particularly enjoying the way he was eyeing Kristin.

"Thank you. I do have a meeting with Admiral Beatty later. You'll be there, I trust?" he questioned.

Nathan nodded. "Yes, sir."

Richard gave him a nod. "Then I'll see you both later." He walked to the closet, took a hanger with a fresh suit hanging on it from inside, and left once again.

Kristin stood and watched his car pull out of the driveway. When she was sure he was gone, she muttered, "That went well."

"Do I detect a bit of sarcasm?" Nathan commented. "I don't think he was particularly pleased."

"I noticed," she said quietly. But she didn't want to dwell on the fact any longer. "Um, you're welcome to shower first, if you'd like. Are you hungry? I can go whip us up something for breakfast." She tried to become more chipper.

Nathan gave her a look.

"I just think it's futile to dwell on it at the moment," she explained before he could question her. "And we're running out of time."

He nodded. "Very well. I'll be quick."

"Towels are in the cabinet," she called to him. Then, she stepped into the closet and found a nice pair of dress pants and a shirt that belonged to Richard. She knocked on the door. "There's a change of clothing for you on the bed," she told him. Then with that, she headed to the kitchen to see what she could find. She started a pot of coffee and decided to scramble some eggs and make toast. It wasn't very fancy, but it was quick.

When Nathan emerged from the bedroom, he said, "Something certainly smells delicious."

She chuckled. "Well, thank you." She made him a plate and set it down at the table, along with a cup of coffee. "Go ahead," she urged. "Eat up; I'm going to get ready."

Fifteen minutes later, Kristin was dressed and ready. She reentered the kitchen to find Nathan eating his last bite. "That was wonderful; thank you."

"You're very welcome. Are you all set?" she asked.

"What about you? Aren't you going to eat?"

"I had a piece of toast and some coffee. I'm fine," she told him.

Nathan shrugged. "Very well." He opened the front door. "After you, milady."

On the way to the base, Nathan said, "So, what are your plans for the day? I mean for later? You do get breaks, don't you?"

She chuckled. "Yes, I get breaks. Why…are you asking me to lunch?"

"Something like that, but I was thinking something before that too. You remember that suggestion you made? About rounding up the whole crew?" Nathan asked.

She nodded. "Yes, I recall. So, that's your plan?"

"As long as you're Kristin, I think it's a good idea," Nathan agreed.

"Unfortunately, I have little control over that matter. It's not quite the same as it was with Lillian. Sylvia apparently comes and goes. For the most part, I'm me, but apparently, she found it necessary to completely take over like Lillian last night. I'm not sure she won't do the same again," Kristin replied.

"Well, you'll just have to ask her to hold off on it for now. I think I can manage to get everyone together by noon. Does that work for you?"

"Meet me at my office," she said. "You know where it is."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan was right on schedule, waiting for Kristin when she'd seen her last patient. "How was your morning?" he asked.

"Busy," she admitted. "But it was fine. Yours?"

"The same," he replied. "I have a surprise for you."

She gave him a look. "A surprise? I thought you were getting the crew together?"

"I did that too. In fact, they're all waiting for us on the docks."

"All right…" she answered, still unsure of what Nathan had planned.

"Don't worry; I have a lunch ready for us," Nathan continued. He held up a basket. "I hope you like chicken salad."

She smiled. "Of course, but how did you-"

"It's a secret. So, shall we?" He offered his arm.

She accepted, and they walked across the base and down to the docks together. Sure enough, the others were waiting there. Some were sitting down on the docks and eating. But they were all there. She smiled. "Is this the surprise?"

"Not exactly. You'll have to look a little closer."

As the two got closer to the dock, the others greeted her. Lucas, aka Henry, waved to her. He was leaning over the edge of the dock looking at something.

" _That's_ the surprise," Nathan told her, a huge grin on his face.

Kristin knelt beside Lucas and finally saw. It was Darwin. She gave his head a pat. "It's remarkable. I can't believe…where did you find him?"

"Actually, it was Lu-I mean, Henry," Nathan replied.

She gave Lucas an expectant look and he began his story. "Well, I was walking along the docks this morning, and there he was. I guess he was transported, just like the rest of us."

Darwin nodded his head up and down and gave a few whistles and squeaks, as if he was confirming Lucas' story.

They all laughed.

"Well, I'm certainly glad he made it here safely," Kristin said.

"And I'm glad he found us," Lucas added.

"So, was this a good surprise?" Nathan asked after Kristin had stood again.

"Indeed," she assured him. "Thank you."

"Well, why don't we eat so we can start our meeting?"

She nodded and followed him to a vacant spot on the grass nearby.


	8. Probably Away From You

Nathan laid a blanket on the grass and held out his hand to help Kristin sit.

"This is lovely," she gushed, "thank you."

"Well, it was the least I could do after last night…to thank you for offering me your sofa," he said with a shrug.

She smiled. "You and I both know neither of us wanted to be alone anyway."

"Well, that might be so, but I still wanted to do something nice for you. Do you have any plans later?"

She gave him a look. "Nathan, I thought we agreed we weren't going to do this."

"Do what?" he asked innocently.

She sighed. "Nathan, Sylvia is still a married woman. Even _if_ nothing happens, I don't think you and I should be so… _friendly_ while we're here. I thought I made that clear."

"I think it's apparent Sylvia and Jack were friends; we can't deny that," Nathan countered.

"You know, you're not making this very easy," Kristin said after taking a few bites of her sandwich.

Just then, Kristin heard a familiar voice. _Don't resist the inevitable,_ Sylvia's voice whispered.

"And neither are _you_ ," she added.

"What?" Nathan asked.

"Nothing. I was just, um…thinking out loud. Sorry," she muttered. "You saw the look on Richard's face this morning. I just don't want to ruffle any feathers, if you get my meaning."

"I've already told you, I don't plan on letting you go while we're here. If anything happened to you…well, I'd never forgive myself." He put his arm around her and pulled her close. "And remember, we go with the flow here."

Another sigh escaped her. "Well, I suppose I can't argue with you there. I don't particularly _like_ not being around you and the others. But I also think it's in Jack's best interest not to make the senator too angry, especially if he's trying to get funding for the _Nautilus_. So, perhaps we ought to just play things by ear?" she suggested, gently removing his arm from her shoulders.

"I can handle that," Nathan agreed. "I'll be good."

After they'd finished their lunches, Nathan called everyone over so they could start their 'staff meeting'.

"First of all, since it's just us, I think we can use our given names; that should help clear up any confusion for the time being," Nathan told them.

There was a general chorus of agreement amongst the group.

"So, we're here to establish the facts we've discovered so far," Nathan continued. "Maybe that'll give us a clue as to what we're doing here."

"And help us get back _home_ ," Manilow Crocker added. He hadn't particularly enjoyed their experience on the _George_ , and he wasn't too happy about their current situation. Therefore, he was eager to get back to their own time.

"Well, that's a given," Nathan replied. "So, why don't we start with you, Doctor?"

Kristin stood before them and told them everything she'd discovered so far; she told them about Sylvia's miscarriages, her marital discord, and about the letter to the senator. "…and, it also seems that Sylvia and Jack Remington were close," she finished.

"Like romantically close?" Katie asked.

"We're still deciding that," Nathan cut in. "But we need to remember, we're here to solve Sylvia's murder."

"Or possibly prevent it," Jonathan said.

At that moment, Joshua raised his hand. "If I may, I'd just like to remind everyone that we're still dealing with the supernatural, spirits that aren't at rest. Since Sylvia's death is still unsolved, I think she's what brought us here."

"Wait a minute," Ben interrupted. "You mean a _ghost_ caused the geomagnetic storm and the whirlpool vortex?"

"The realms of the supernatural are still a mystery to us. Paranormal researchers find new discoveries every day," Joshua replied. "I know some of you are skeptics; you can call this all a coincidence. Maybe it's a collective dream we're all having, and we'll wake up shortly. But I personally believe Sylvia is reaching out to us from beyond the grave, even if her methods are different than what we've seen before." He turned to Kristin. "You took an interest in her case from the beginning, so I think she's chosen you."

"Yes, but do you think she's in any danger?" Nathan asked worriedly. "Being chosen from beyond the grave doesn't exactly sound appealing."

"Sylvia doesn't sound like a malicious spirit," Joshua replied thoughtfully. "What do you think?" he asked, turning to Kristin.

"Well, she keeps reassuring me that everything will be fine," Kristin answered quietly. "I…I don't think she'd mislead me, but the fact that I'm essentially her while we're here…."

"What about her _death_?" Lucas questioned finally. "Are we supposed to prevent it?"

"Spirits usually want closure when there are things that are unresolved. An unsolved murder is definitely unresolved," Joshua said. "However, in my opinion, we're not here to alter anything. You've all seen _Back to the Future_? Altering anything in the past will dramatically change the future. This is probably the same thing."

"But, the doc-" Katie began.

"This is exactly what I didn't want," Kristin finally blurted out. "I…I don't want you all worrying about me!"

Everyone was silent for a moment, stunned by the doctor's outburst.

"I'm worried enough as it is," she continued, speaking a little quieter now. "I…I just don't want to be a burden."

Joshua placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Sylvia's made you the focus; that can't be changed now."

Before Kristin could reply, she heard the distant voice of Sylvia once again. _Everything happens for a reason. There are no accidents here._ She simply nodded, feeling defeated.

"Uh, does anyone have anything else to add? Any other information?" Nathan asked after a moment.

The others shook their heads.

"Perhaps we should meet in a few days?" Joshua suggested. "Regular meetings might help us keep our details straight."

"That's a good idea," Nathan agreed. He turned to the others. "Then you're all dismissed. We'll see about meeting again soon."

As the others departed, Nathan approached Kristin, who was still speaking with Joshua.

Upon seeing the captain, Joshua said, "I'll let you two to talk. Just stop by my office and find me when you're through, all right?"

She nodded. "Thank you, Joshua."

Nathan watched him go, and then turned back to her. "Well, that was enlightening."

"What? No lecture?" she said after a moment.

"Why would I lecture you?"

She sighed. "Because I keep saying, "I'm fine," when it's obvious I'm not. I've been trying very hard not to let it show, but…" her voice trailed off.

Nathan put his arm around her. "Kristin, don't you think I know that? I've known you long enough that I know how you work by now. And you shouldn't be upset with the others; they're just-"

"I'm _not_ upset with the others. I'm upset with myself. Mr. Krieg was blaming himself for this. I don't blame _him_ ; I blame _me_."

"It's not like you're the one who killed Sylvia; and you didn't know what was in that chest. How is any of this your fault?" Nathan pressed.

"Maybe if I'd have just let it go when the forensics team had said they didn't know if they could do much more, we wouldn't be here now," she reasoned.

"Do you really believe that?"

"I don't know," she answered quietly.

"Well, I _don't_. First of all, you're a scientist. You don't take 'no' for an answer. Second, I think Sylvia would have had her way no matter what."

Kristin was about to reply when a familiar voice interrupted them.

" _There_ you are," Richard said, approaching them. "I've been looking all over for you, _darling_." Richard's tone, however, was less than pleasant. "And _here_ you are, with Captain Remington of all people."

"Richard, we were just talking," Kristin said, making a point to take a few steps away from Nathan.

"It certainly looks to me as though it was a little more than talking," Richard stated. He eyed Nathan suspiciously. "It just seems every time I turn around lately, you've got your hands all over her. You realize she's a married woman, don't you, Captain?"

"I do, Senator; and you realize _you're_ a married man, don't you?" Nathan countered.

"Jack," Kristin said warningly.

Richard turned to her. "I think you have patients to attend to, don't you, dear?"

Kristin hesitated, casting a desperate glance towards Nathan.

"I'll deal with _you_ later. This is between the captain and me," Richard continued. And when Kristin made no attempt to move, he sternly ordered, " _Go_."

Kristin waited for one more moment until Nathan gave her a nod before finally moving back toward the doors of the hospital. When she got there, she turned back towards them and mouthed the words, "I'm sorry," to Nathan.

"Captain, you realize this is a very uncertain time for the United States right now, don't you?" the senator asked.

"Yes, I do, Senator."

"Our allies are engaged in a war; if we suddenly became involved in that war, the naval forces would be a great asset to the cause, wouldn't they?"

"Yes, but-"

"And there's one thing that the Navy needs that I have, isn't there?"

Nathan nodded.

"And do you want to tell me what that one thing is?" Richard continued in a condescending tone.

"Money," Nathan answered through gritted teeth.

Richard patted him on the shoulder. "Very good, Captain. Then let me ask you this. Do you really think it's wise to lust after the wife of the one man who has unlimited funds to give?"

"And, in that same respect, do you think it's wise for you to lust after other women?"

"What _I_ do is none of your business," Richard replied. "You have no idea why I do what I do."

"I think I do," Nathan spat. "I can see it written all over your face."

"And just what is that?"

"That your marriage is an unhappy one. And I already see the way you ignore her, unless of course, you're in front of the cameras or your public. She's more than just a trophy for your arm, you know."

Richard's eyes narrowed. "It would be in your best interest to stay the _hell_ away from my wife, _Captain_ , and you keep your nose out of our marriage as well. Or I take my funds elsewhere. You wouldn't want to inform the admiral that you were the one to cause the demise of the US Navy, would you?"

When Nathan didn't answer, Richard said, "That's exactly what I thought you'd say. See you at the meeting." With that, he left, leaving an angry Nathan behind.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

By late afternoon, Nathan headed to the main conference room. After his confrontation with the senator, Nathan desperately wanted to go see how Kristin was, to assure her that everything was going to be all right. Unfortunately, his hands were tied in the matter. The senator had given him an ultimatum. Certainly, Nathan didn't plan on adhering to it, but he needed the dust to settle. He'd be damned if he was going to stay away from her the whole time they were there. Not only that, but Jack's voice practically screamed in his head, _Don't let her go._

He didn't plan on doing that at all. But he had a meeting to attend. And apparently, he had to play nice with the senator, much to his dislike. The Navy needed funding, and the senator had it.

At the meeting, Nathan discovered that there were war warnings issued. That wasn't surprising. But there was still nothing mentioned about a possible attack. When all was said and done, the senator agreed to give the funds. Nathan was relieved; he hoped he didn't have to deal with the senator much after that. But when the meeting was adjourned, Richard asked him so stay behind.

Once alone, Richard said, "So are you pleased by what you've heard, Captain?"

It was becoming increasingly difficult to be keep his cool with the senator. He simply nodded. "Thank you, sir."

"You're very welcome." He eyed Nathan for a moment. "Tell me, Captain, do you support the war?"

"Contrary to what you might think, I don't support war at all. It might be inevitable, but I simply oppose the threats to the world's peace," Nathan informed him.

The senator chuckled. "You're a man of ideals, aren't you? Well, to each his own, but I assure you, we are going to war."

Nathan remained silent.

"Well, I guess I'll let you go since I have matters of my own to attend. I trust you remember the other thing we spoke about?"

"Yes."

"Good, I was just checking. See you around, _Captain_ ," the senator called as he left the room.

-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-

Kristin had just finished up with her last patient for the day, but ever since she'd seen Richard, she couldn't help but feel on edge. She kept looking over her shoulder, hoping that one of those times, she'd look up to see Nathan's smiling face. But, she never did. She'd wondered what happened between him and Richard. And then, she worried about what Richard would do when he saw her. " _I'll deal with_ _ **you**_ _later_." His words echoed in her mind. And knowing enough about the senator's nature, this also made her heart sink.

She headed to her small office and put away her patient files when she heard a knock on her door frame. She looked up, hoping it was Nathan, but it was Dr. Levin.

"You never came by my office like I'd asked," he told her.

"Oh, I'd completely forgotten," she said apologetically. "I got…distracted. Was it anything important?"

"I just wanted to see about giving you an examination," he explained, "to check your vitals. With Lillian, your vital signs were altered significantly."

She nodded and glanced toward the clock. "Would tomorrow work?"

But Joshua didn't answer at first. His attention was turned to the doorway. Kristin followed his gaze. The senator was standing there.

"Tomorrow will be fine, I suppose. See you then, Doctor."

"Goodbye," she said as Joshua left.

"My, you certainly are busy," Richard said once they were alone.

"Richard, please," she said. "Let's not play games. You and I both know you don't care about my work."

Richard smiled and stroked her cheek. "Very well; I won't play games." He then grabbed her arm tightly, causing her to cry out, and whispered, "I assure you this is no game, and I still need to teach you a little lesson."

"P-please, Richard," she begged. "We…we can talk about this."

He loosened his grip on her arm, but didn't let go. "That, we will," he vowed, leading her out to the car.

Kristin did her best not to break down sobbing because part of her knew what was going to happen. She knew from the moment she saw Richard in the doorway of her office. The ride back home was in silence. Richard shoved her roughly through the front door and the argument began.

"Are you in love with him?" Richard screamed.

"I could ask you the same thing when it comes to your whores!" she shouted back.

He slapped her cheek. "You know I don't love them. I've told you that." He lowered his voice. "Are you in love with him?" he asked again.

"I…I don't know," she admitted. "We've only just met."

"But it's apparent you two have spent some intimate moments together. He slept in our bed for Christ's sake!"

"Nothing happened."

Richard was about to say something more when he turned from her and simply walked away. She heard him in the kitchen, and it didn't take her long to realize he was pouring himself a drink. She also heard Sylvia's voice.

_I'm sorry, Kristin. I'm sorry you're frightened. I'm sorry I've put you in this situation._

"Sylvia?" Kristin said in a hushed voice so Richard wouldn't hear. "It…it's all right, but I-"

_And I'm sorry I'm going to have to do this_ , Sylvia continued.

"Do what? I don't understand."

_I promised you that everything would be fine. Unfortunately, I can't promise nothing bad will happen. Something bad is about to happen now, and again, I'm so sorry. Therefore, I'm going to have to take over,_ Sylvia explained. _I assure you, this is for your own good. When you wake, you won't remember any of this. You'll simply experience the aftermath._

"But-" Kristin protested.

It was too late, however. She heard footsteps. Richard made his way back into the bedroom, anger in his eyes. He began yelling again, pushing Kristin to the floor.

"No, please!" she begged before everything went blank.


	9. Chances Are, Chances Are

**November 30, 1941**

The sound of the front door closing caused Kristin to stir, but she didn't open her eyes. She felt pain. The memory of the night before came floating back to her. Well, it wasn't much of a memory, exactly. She realized her head was pounding, but she vaguely recalled her conversation with Sylvia. And, she remembered Richard's anger; she remembered how Sylvia had apologized to her. Then, everything had gone dark.

Kristin didn't know exactly what had happened, but the pain she felt coursing through her body gave her a clue. She gingerly sat up and forced herself to open her eyes. The bedroom was in complete disarray. It looked as though it must have been quite a scene; she shuddered at the thought.

She turned to look at the clock and noticed a folded note sitting on the bedside table next to it. She reached over and opened it.

_Dear Sylvia,_

_I thought you'd want to take the day to rest, so I called the clinic to let them know you're taking the day off._

_And…I want to tell you how sorry I am. I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you. I hope you can believe that. I do love you, and I always will. We'll talk more when I come home._

_Love,_

_Richard_

Kristin sighed heavily. She doubted Richard's sincerity, and she certainly wasn't going to stand for this anymore. Even though it was painful, she forced herself out of bed and headed to the bathroom. She could feel her face was swollen, she could see bruises on her arms and legs. She needed to see it all for herself. She pushed her nightgown off of her shoulders and stood before the mirror naked.

She felt a gasp escape her throat because she barely recognized herself. Ugly purple bruises covered her entire body; it looked similar to what she'd woken up to just the other day. However, this time, her right cheek was swollen and bruised as well. She had a bruise on her chin, and her lip was swollen. Her left eye was also blackened. She looked horrible.

Not only that, she surmised that Richard had had his way with her and she was absolutely sure it was against her will…well, rather Sylvia's will. No matter; seeing her image in the mirror helped her make a decision.

"Sylvia, I know you're listening, so I'm just going to say it. I can't do this anymore. I…I do want to help you. I know you've chosen me…or I've chosen you. Or maybe fate has chosen us? Whatever it is, I'm sorry…but I can't stay here any longer."

She waited for a moment, expecting an answer. But, she heard nothing, not even a protest. "Very well; have it your way."

She started the shower and got in, letting the warm water soothe her aching body. While she washed, she devised a plan. It really wasn't a very good plan, but she decided she had to leave. She'd pack a few belongings and just go. She knew she had to get away from Richard. The only problem was she wasn't sure exactly where she was going. They'd only brought one vehicle to Hawaii, and it was in Richard's possession at the moment. She'd have to…

Something pulled her from her thoughts. She heard the front door close again. Despite the warm water, a sudden chill ran down her spine. She felt her breath catch in her throat. _Please, don't be Richard_ , she prayed. But then, who else would it be?

Suddenly, she heard a familiar voice call her name, "Kristin? Sylvia?" _Nathan's voice_.

"In the shower. Um, I'll be out in a moment," she called back. "And it's Kristin," she confirmed.

She heard footsteps approach the doorway. "I'm just so happy to hear you're all right. A lot of us were worried when you didn't come in to the clinic today; and then Joshua said that Richard had called…well, I just had to check."

He heard her turn the water off and turned his back as she stepped out of the shower. A few moments later, she said, "You can turn around now; I'm decent."

He slowly turned to her. "Oh, Kris," he muttered when he saw her. He brought a gentle hand to her unbruised cheek. "So this is why you didn't come to work today?" Although he couldn't see any more marks on her because of her floor length bathrobe, he was certain her body was covered in bruises. "I am so sorry. I-"

She waved a hand. "It's not your fault. I wasn't even conscious."

Nathan gave her a bewildered look.

"Sylvia took over for me. She wanted to spare me the actual abuse, I suppose. I woke up this way, just like the last time." She paused for a moment. Then she added quietly, "Only this time, I'm a little more injured than the last."

"Kristin, you-"

She held up a hand. "I'm leaving."

"What?"

"I'm leaving," she repeated. "I've already told Sylvia I won't stay here anymore." She then felt the need to justify it. "Nathan, I can't keep waking up like this. I know Sylvia has assured me that everything will be fine, but how can everything be fine if I keep going through this?"

"You don't need to explain it to me," Nathan assured her. "I understand. But what did Sylvia say?"

"She wouldn't answer me," she said with a shrug. "I think she understands. Or maybe that's what Sylvia did herself when she was alive."

"Where will you go?"

"I…I don't know. I haven't exactly gotten that far yet," she admitted.

"You'll stay with me," he insisted.

"No," she replied. "I mean, I'd like that, but do you really think that's wise? You know what kind of problems that would cause. We need a better solution."

Nathan sighed. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right. Richard had too much pull with the Navy, and it might just create more problems for her; and he wanted to avoid that at all costs. "Fine, but you're coming with me until we find something more suitable, all right?"

She couldn't argue with that. She nodded. "Um, just let me get dressed and pack a few things," she began, turning to the mirror to brush her hair out.

Nathan stood behind her, staring at her reflection.

"What?" she questioned.

"Are you all right?"

She gave him a small smile. "I'll be fine…after a little healing."

He simply nodded. "I'll wait for you in the living room. Let me know if you need help."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

About an hour later, Kristin was finished.

"All set?" Nathan asked her.

"I…think so," she answered, looking around the house to see if she'd forgotten anything she wanted to bring. She held up the small suitcase she'd packed. "Really, I'm just taking the essentials," she informed him. Then she added, "I…I'm not keeping you from anything?"

He shook his head. "No, in fact, I have all day if you need. Everyone…the rest of the crew…well, we were all worried about you."

She simply nodded. He wasn't telling her anything she didn't know; she just didn't know what else to say. As if being put into a different time period and having to live someone else's life wasn't overwhelming enough, she had to deal with the abuse as well. Not only that, she was beginning to feel as though she was losing herself in the thrall of this illusion. Or was it reality? Either way, she simply didn't feel like herself.

Nathan took her bag from her hand and opened the door for her. He helped her inside the car; then he went around to the other side and slid behind the driver's seat. He started the car and eased it onto the road.

Although he was trying to keep his eyes on the road, he stole a few glances at the woman next to him. She was quiet and lost in her thoughts. He'd known her long enough to know what she looked like when she was deep in thought. Part of him wished he knew exactly what was going through her head. He knew she was scared, frightened; he wanted nothing more than to take those feelings away. He didn't like any of his crew feeling that way, especially her.

He wanted to say something to her, but everything he thought of felt awkward. He could only think of one thing to do. He reached over and took her hand in his, giving it a squeeze.

She looked over and gave him a small smile. "Thank you."

He smiled back. "Of course. I just wanted you to know I'm here…if you need to talk."

She chuckled softly. "Is that a hint? Am I worrying you?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted. "A penny for your thoughts?"

"Really, they're the same thoughts I've been having since we arrived here…or woke up here…however we got here exactly." She sighed. "Now, I just hope I'm doing the right thing. And I don't mean the _just_ thing; I mean the _right_ thing. Am I doing what Sylvia would do? Am I doing what she _did_ do? And how is this going to affect everything else?"

"Oh, is that all?" Nathan quipped, trying to cheer her up. Then, he became serious, "Sylvia told you there were no accidents here. I think if you were doing something wrong, she'd say."

"Maybe that's the problem," she replied. "I haven't 'heard' her voice since last night, and I guess I would just like some sort of confirmation that I'm doing the right thing."

"If we were in our own time and you were in a situation like this, what would you do?" Nathan asked.

"Exactly what I'm doing now; I'd leave and then I'd press charges. But then, I would have left the _first_ time it happened," she confirmed. "I never would have done what Sylvia did. She might be my twin in looks, but we're not exactly twins in our personalities."

Nathan thought for a moment. "I think I disagree."

She gave him a look. "How can you say that?"

"Let me explain before you raise a fuss," he replied, easing the car into a parked position in front of an apartment building on the other side of town.

Kristin hadn't realized they were anywhere near to his home. She looked around and realized it was an apartment building on the base.

"We've known each other for a while."

"Over a year," she confirmed.

"Then you'll agree we know one another fairly well. And I've also seen you become Sylvia before my eyes. You think Sylvia was a weak woman?" Nathan questioned.

She shrugged. "I think any woman who stays in an abusive relationship like that must be weak."

"But what about before?"

"What?"

Nathan sighed. "Do you remember what Lucas said the day we had that staff meeting about all this? After we discovered the chest?"

"Of course; how could I forget? It might _seem_ like ages ago, but it really wasn't."

"Then you should remember what Lucas said about Sylvia. Remember before she got married? Didn't she sound a lot like you?" he pressed.

She shrugged. "Maybe…"

"No, there's no maybe about it. Sylvia…well, she is strong. Maybe she's lost some of it, but she's just as strong as Kristin Westphalen…maybe stronger," Nathan replied.

She sighed. "So maybe _I'm_ supposed to help her find her strength again?"

"Or maybe you're just supposed to help her realize she still has it," Nathan guessed. Then he added, "Why don't we go inside?"

She laughed softly, almost forgetting they were still sitting in the car. "Of course."

Nathan took her bag out of the backseat of the car, then came around to the other side, opened her door, and offered his hand to her.

She hesitated for a split second but took his hand.

But Nathan noticed her hesitance. "What's wrong?"

She looked around. "It's just that…is Richard around? At the base? If he saw us…" her voice trailed off.

Nathan could see she was still afraid. "The senator is nowhere near the base, I promise you. You're safe. It's all right," he assured her. He waited for her to think for a moment. She finally nodded and allowed him to help her from the vehicle. They continued up the walkway hand in hand.

"My apartment's on the first floor," he assured her. "We won't have to tackle flights of stairs."

Kristin gave a grateful smile. Flights of stairs weren't particularly inviting to her at the moment; her whole body still ached, although she did her best not to complain.

He led her through an entryway and into a corridor; it was narrow but clean. "Last door on the left," he said as they walked to the end of the hall. He unlocked the door and pushed it open. "After you," he said with a wave of his hand.

"Thank you," she said with a small smile, stepping inside. It was modest but clean. There was a small living room with a comfortable looking sofa and chair that made Kristin feel sleepy just looking at them. Then, there was a small kitchen with two doorways, which Kristin assumed one was a bedroom, the other a bathroom. "Not exactly like your quarters on _seaQuest_ , is it?" she asked after he'd closed the door behind him.

"I don't exactly mind that. I don't really miss it; well, I miss being where I belong, but I don't have a PAL unit going off every few minutes paging me to the bridge." He paused for a moment. Then he said, "But I do miss late night talks with friends, knocking on their doors and being able to see them." He caught her gaze and held it for a few moments.

She blushed slightly, even under the bruising. "Um, well, I'm sure we'll get to do all that soon," she muttered, turning away and looking out the window.

"Yes, I'm sure," Nathan agreed. "Um, let me just set your bag in the bedroom for the moment. Why don't you have a seat? Are you hungry? Have you even eaten yet?"

"Actually, no," she admitted, taking a seat on the sofa. It was as comfortable as it looked. "But I'm not very hungry. Just a little tired."

Nathan walked over and sat down next to her. He instinctively placed a hand on her forehead. "You feel a little warm. Maybe Dr. Levin could-"

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I don't want to be seen like this, not by the whole crew."

Nathan sighed. "But you could have broken ribs or something. I could have him come here?"

"Maybe," she replied quietly. "As…as long as it's private."

"I promise." He placed a gentle arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. She nuzzled into him, closing her eyes.

They sat that way for several moments, neither of them speaking. But Nathan finally broke the silence. He didn't want to, but he had to. "Uh, I was thinking, as far as where you're going to go…" he began.

"Yes?" she muttered, sounding sleepy.

"What about Rose? Uh, Katie, I mean? Would you feel comfortable?" he asked.

"Certainly," she answered. "But would she be willing to get involved in this mess? I don't want to put anyone out."

"You know she cares about you; she'd do anything for you."

She sighed. "I know…I just feel-"

"Don't say it," Nathan interrupted. "This is _not_ your fault."

Kristin sighed, not bothering to protest anymore.

"Tell you what," Nathan continued. "Would you feel comfortable staying here while I go talk to Katie and Joshua? You can stay right here on the couch; or you could go into the bedroom, whatever you'd like. I won't be gone long. Nothing's going to happen," he assured her.

Kristin thought for a moment. "I suppose that would be all right. I'm suddenly so tired," she admitted, stifling a yawn.

Nathan shifted gently and eased off the sofa. "I'll go find you a blanket," he told her. "And if you wake before I get back, help yourself to anything in the kitchen. I have plenty of ingredients to make a sandwich," he called as he was grabbing an afghan from the bedroom.

Kristin didn't answer. When he got back into the living room, he was about to ask if she'd heard him when he saw that she'd fallen asleep. He unfolded the afghan and lovingly tucked it around her. He then placed a kiss to her forehead. "Sleep well; I'll be back soon." And, with that, he left the apartment, being sure to lock the door behind him, just in case.


	10. Hold You Like I Mean It

The sound of a key in the lock caused Kristin to stir. For a split second, fear coursed through her veins at the thought it might be Richard. But the thought quickly left her when she heard Nathan's hushed voice along with that of Katie and Joshua.

"She might still be asleep," Nathan warned.

"No, I'm awake," Kristin replied sleepily. She moved gingerly to sit up and winced slightly when the movement was too much.

"Easy, easy," Nathan soothed, appearing at her side to help her. "I'm sorry if we woke you."

She waved a hand. "You didn't." And after Nathan had helped her find a comfortable position, she added, "Thank you." She then looked in the direction of Katie and Joshua, who both looked slightly uncomfortable. She guessed they weren't sure what to say, considering her appearance. "It's all right, you two. I'm not broken."

"I just…" Katie began hesitantly, sitting down next to her. She put a gentle arm around her shoulders and whispered, "I'm just so sorry you're going through this, Doc."

Kristin felt tears well up in her eyes at these words. Oh, Katie was a lovely person. Seeing as she and Kristin were the only two women on the _seaQuest_ senior staff, she and Katie always had a special bond that started early on. However, in terms of comforting, it was rarely Kristin who needed it. Since Kristin was the older of the two, she felt it her duty to be strong and never ask, even when she was feeling down. Katie had asked for her advice and comfort many times during their tour, and Kristin always gave it willingly. One might even go so far as to say they had a mother/daughter bond since Katie reminded her so much of Cynthia.

But how often is it that a child should comfort her mother? Although it's rare, that moment is completely heart-wrenching. And that was what Kristin was feeling now. "Katie…" she began, trying to swallow tears. "It's all right," she finished lamely.

Katie simply reached over and tucked a stray curl behind Kristin's ear. "You don't need to be the strong one all the time." She then took hold of one of her hands and squeezed gently. "We'll talk more later," she promised as Dr. Levin stepped forward.

"Uh, the captain mentioned you might not be feeling well. And under the circumstances, it's probably best we perform an examination, just to be sure you don't have any broken bones or anything," Joshua explained. He turned to Nathan. "Do you mind if we use your bedroom for privacy?"

"Of course not," Nathan replied, offering a helping hand to Kristin. "Take all the time you need."

So, Joshua led Kristin into the bedroom and shut the door behind him.

"That was a shock," Katie said quietly once she and Nathan were alone.

"I tried to warn you," Nathan answered. "I still don't quite know how she's dealing with all this."

"The doc's a strong woman," Katie stated after a moment. "I think it's hard for her to admit weakness to anyone, even her friends. She knows we're trying to help, but I think she's trying to deal with it on her own. She's always been that way."

Nathan nodded knowingly. "Well, I really do appreciate you letting her stay with you."

"I'm sure she'll open up to one of us when she's ready," Katie assured him. "I can see she's scared and certainly, it's warranted. We all know what's supposed to happen to Sylvia. I think if I had to assume the life of Sylvia Mayfield, I'd be a basket case," Katie noted.

Before Nathan could reply, Joshua came out of the bedroom, a worried look on his face.

"What's wrong?" Nathan questioned, worry washing over him as well.

"You said she had a fever?" he questioned.

"She felt warm," Nathan said with a nod.

"Well, that doesn't seem to be the case now. In fact, it's just the opposite," Joshua answered. "And her pulse is erratic and faint."

"What does that mean?"

Joshua hesitated. He was interrupted by the sound of muffled crying. It was Kristin.

Nathan pushed past him and rushed into his bedroom. Kristin was sitting on the bed, sobbing uncontrollably. "I…I…I…tried…to…stop…him," she said between sobs.

Nathan sat next to her and his arms around her. "Stop whom? Richard?" he asked as he allowed her to cry on his shoulder.

She nodded and cried for a few more minutes. Then, she said, "I…I remember…he asked me if…I was in love with you."

"And what did you say?"

"Oh, Jack…I didn't know what to say," she admitted. "You know as well as I do we both have…feelings."

"Yes…but… Did...did you just call me, Jack?"

"Yes..." she answered, turning away from him. "I should have never done this."

"Done what?"

"I should never have involved you…in any of this. Maybe I shouldn't stay with Rose. Perhaps I should go back to Washington? Or maybe I should go back to England?"

"You don't have to leave," Nathan insisted. "Please, we'll help you."

"I don't _want_ you to help me! You're all making sacrifices for me; you barely know me. Why are you all being so kind to me?" She began sobbing once more.

At the sound of this outburst, Katie and Joshua appeared in the doorway, seeing the way she was sobbing on the captain's shoulder again.

"Maybe I should talk with her?" Katie suggested. "Woman to woman?"

Nathan sighed, gently pushing the woman in his arms away for a moment. "Would that help?"

She shrugged. "Maybe," she answered quietly.

Nathan placed a hand on her shoulder. "Then, we'll leave you two. If you need anything, though, I'll be right outside the door."

She nodded.

Nathan reluctantly started toward the door, since he didn't want to leave her. He'd been the only one, until now, to interact with her as Sylvia, and he wasn't sure how Katie would react. When he reached where Katie was standing, he asked quietly, "You realize she's not herself?"

Katie gave him a smile. "I think I can handle it," she assured him. Then upon seeing the worried look on his face, she placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Don't worry."

Nathan gave her a nod and left the room.

Katie shook her head and gave Sylvia a gentle smile. "I know we haven't gotten a chance to talk much, and I know you're confused and hurt." She sat down on the bed and patted the spot next to her. "I'd like to help you, Doctor. Or can I call you Sylvia?"

"Sylvia's fine," the older woman answered. She still had tears in her eyes and her voice was shaking. But she felt a bit more at ease. She sat next to Katie and continued, "I…I'm normally not like this."

"Like what?"

"What I mean is I don't usually share my problems with others." She sighed. "I really don't have many friends. And they don't seem to notice or care what Richard does." A few tears slipped down her cheeks. "I'm so embarrassed."

Katie placed an arm around her trembling shoulders. "Oh, honey," Katie soothed, "you have no reason to be embarrassed. This isn't your fault. None of this is. We just want to help you. I wish you'd let us."

"I just feel like I'd be putting you all out. I've already put Jack in an awkward position. I don't want to do the same with you or with anyone else. I…I appreciate it. I really do. I just feel like…I'm not worth it," she answered.

"Oh, sweetheart," Katie said, enveloping her in a hug, "You _are_ worth it. You need to see that. And none of us feels put out, I promise you." Katie broke the hug and pulled away to look at her. "Now you listen to me, Sylvia; you're going to come and stay with me for as long as you need. You can rest, and we'll make sure you're safe. And when you're well enough, you can decide what it is you want to do. If you want to leave and go back to Washington or England…or even if you want to try somewhere new, you can do that. No one is going to stop you or force you into anything you don't want to do. But it needs to be _your_ decision without the influence of your husband. Or you could always stay right here…in Oahu. We'd all love to have you."

She gave her a small smile. "Well, I do know I am not going back to Richard," she said adamantly. "I…I know it's unorthodox, but I think divorce is the only answer."

"Well, you're not the first woman to make this decision, and I have a feeling you won't be the last. We just want to make sure you get all the help and support you need with it."

She nodded. "I…I just don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you."

"Just keep that promise to yourself, and that'll be thanks enough," Katie assured her.

"Miss McCallister..."

Katie waved a hand. "Please, call me Rose."

"All right, Rose," she said with a smile, "thank you…for being my friend."

"Of course," Katie answered. "Feeling better?"

"A little," she admitted.

"Good," Katie replied, giving her hand another squeeze.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

A while later, Katie entered the living room once again. Nathan turned to her expectantly. He'd been pacing back and forth absentmindedly. "Well?"

"It's all handled," Katie assured him.

"Then why is she still in there?" Nathan asked worriedly, motioning toward the bedroom.

"She's freshening up," Katie told him. "And she mentioned that she wasn't sure if the doctor was finished with his examination." She looked at Joshua expectantly.

"She doesn't have any permanent physical injuries. She knows she needs to rest, but she's otherwise fine," he stated. "The other oddities appear to be a result of the paranormal…just like on the _George_."

Nathan and Katie nodded, recalling the incident.

A moment later, the bedroom door opened. "Uh, Jack?"

Nathan approached her. "Yes?"

"C-could I speak to you for a moment?"

He nodded and turned back to the others. "If you need to get back, Josh...uh, I mean...Peter, you can go."

He nodded. "I probably should. I'll talk to you soon." He gave a nod and left.

"I'll just wait here," Katie said, walking over to the table and picking up a magazine that was lying there.

Nathan nodded and walked in the bedroom behind Sylvia. He sat on the bed and waited for her to speak.

"I…I want to apologize for yelling," she said. "I know you're just trying to help and-"

"You don't need to keep apologizing," Nathan interrupted. "Sylvia, I just want you to be happy. And I want to make sure you're well and safe."

"I…I know; Rose mentioned that. She mentioned that's what you all want. And I do appreciate it…so much." She crossed the room to look out the window.

Nathan stood and placed a hand on her shoulder; she jumped slightly. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Jack, I…I'm not sure what's supposed to happen between us," she said quietly.

He turned her around to face him. He wanted to look in her eyes. Nathan had looked at her eyes many times before; he'd also looked into them. He'd seen so many emotions reflected in them. He'd seen anger, mischievousness, happiness, sadness, even love. He could see so much love in them at that moment, despite the bruising. And he couldn't help but think he couldn't possibly love her more than at that moment.

Yes, he knew he had feelings for her. He cared for her very much. But he wasn't sure she was ready to hear him say, "I love you." He didn't even know if these were his feelings at the moment. Or were they Jack's? Every time Sylvia came around, he seemed to lose himself, lose track of what he was truly feeling as Nathan.

"Sylvia, life doesn't come with an instruction manual. There's no right or wrong," he said gently.

"I just don't want you to feel forced into anything."

"I _don't_ ," he assured her. "We'll just take things one day at a time."

In response, she carefully placed her arms around him. "I'm so lucky to have you in my life."

He returned the embrace. "No, I think I'm the lucky one." He then placed a gentle kiss to her unbruised cheek, and the two stayed in one another's arms for several minutes.

Finally, she broke the hug. "Well, I suppose I should see about getting settled at Rose's apartment." And without another word, she walked back into the living room. "Sorry to keep you waiting, Rose."

Katie waved a hand. "Oh, it's no trouble. Um, are you all set? My apartment's only a few blocks from here."

"Here's your bag," Nathan said, handing it to her. "I'll be in touch."

She gave him a gentle smile. "See you soon, Captain."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Later that evening, Senator Mayfield walked up the path to his vacation home, a bouquet of roses in his hand. He had intentions of apologizing to his wife and trying to make amends for what he'd done. He wanted to atone for his sins. He'd known he'd made some terrible mistakes as a husband, but he wanted to show Sylvia he was ready to turn over a new leaf.

But, when he walked through the door, he instantly knew something was amiss. He noticed the home looked much like it had this morning, remnants of the heated argument still strewn all over the floor. He knew it was futile, but he called, "Sylvia." Of course, he received no answer. He walked into the bedroom and noticed the note he'd left her this morning sitting on the bedside table. She'd written a response underneath it. He picked it up and read it.

_Dear Richard,_

_I think you and I both know this is for the best. I wish nothing but happiness for you, but you're not going to find that happiness with me._

_Love,_

_Sylvia_

Richard crumpled the note and threw the roses down on the table angrily. No, Sylvia was wrong. He needed her to be happy. She was everything to him. Why couldn't she see that?

_Because you didn't treat her that way_ , he thought bitterly.

He knew what he had to do. He thought for a moment. Where would she go? He headed to the base because he had a clue.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Just a few more days is all I'm asking," Admiral Noyce pleaded with the UEO brass.

With _seaQuest_ suddenly missing, the UEO had an emergency meeting. But the fact she'd been missing for over seventy-two hours now was cause for concern.

"Admiral, I realize this is your project," Secretary Eileen Salvador retorted, "but it's the general consensus that we cannot keep wasting time and energy looking for a submarine that doesn't appear to be around anymore."

"Project?" Bill scoffed. "You and I both know that _seaQuest_ is more than just a project. We-"

General Andrew Warren held up a hand. "Admiral, I assure you, every ship in the fleet is looking for the seaQuest at this very moment. But, the secretary makes a valid point. We can't keep wasting time and energy looking for her. There are still other issues at hand. Once word gets out that _seaQuest_ is missing, we're going to have more than our share of situations to rectify, if you catch my drift. We do hope that the storms simply caused a change in course. If that happened, we'll find her in the next few days. But, by the end of the week, I'm sorry, but we're going to have to call off the search. You _do_ understand?"

Bill sighed. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't like it. But he knew that the general was right. He nodded.

"I…I know Nathan Bridger is your dear friend. I know all the crew members hold a special place in your heart. And I say this with utmost sincerity that I hope they're all found well and safe." He paused for a moment. Then, he said, "If not, may their souls rest in peace."


	11. Say It 'Til You Believe It

After seeing to it that Kristin, who was still Sylvia when he'd seen her last, was properly settled, Nathan headed back to the base. He wanted to speak with Joshua about a few things. Even though it was early evening, he hoped the doctor hadn't left for the day. And much to his delight, he found him in his office. He knocked gently on the door frame.

"Ah, Captain," Joshua greeted him, "did you get the doctor settled?"

Nathan nodded. "That, we did. I was wondering if you had a few moments?"

"If you don't mind waiting for a minute, I just need to finish this medical chart," he replied, motioning for Nathan to sit in a chair in front of the desk.

"Of course." Nathan took a seat and waited patiently.

Five minutes later, Joshua had entered the last bit of necessary information. He then filed the chart into a cabinet nearby. "So," Joshua stated as he walked back to sit across from Nathan, "is she still…" He was trying to search for the proper words, just in case someone might overhear.

"Not feeling like herself? She's still _under the weather_ ," he confirmed.

Joshua nodded. "That's certainly not uncommon." He lowered his voice. "This isn't the first time we've seen her like this. I don't think there's anything to be concerned about."

"So, she's physically all right during these…episodes?" Nathan asked worriedly.

"The same thing happened when we were dealing with Lillian Strathairn, if you recall. She was perfectly all right then. Lillian made sure of that. Why would you think Sylvia would be anything different?" Joshua questioned.

"That situation was different," Nathan said after a beat. "Lillian…well, she…"

"Borrowed the doctor's body, used it as a host?" Joshua suggested.

"I suppose, but…"

"Sylvia's only doing the same thing. She feels safer communicating through Kristin; certainly, there's nothing uncommon about that in the spirit world."

"Not uncommon, yes," Nathan replied. "But _why_ Kristin? She doesn't even believe in such spirits. Well, she didn't until the _George_ , that is. Now, she doesn't know _what_ to believe. At least, that's what she says." And in his best Kristin impression, he added, " _I'm a woman of science_."

Joshua chuckled softly. "That sounds like something she'd say. But, really, you're asking the same questions paranormal researchers have been asking for years. And do you know the answers they come up with?"

Nathan shook his head.

"There _are_ no concrete answers. There's no black and white in the spirit world, unfortunately. But there's a lot of grey. However, the main school of thought is that certain people are more receptive to it. One does not need to believe to be used as a host for a spirit. Even though Kristin's conscious mind might be closed to it, her subconscious mind is very open. Certainly, this is nothing one can control; no one can possibly have conscious knowledge of such a thing. Call it a spiritual loophole. But the spirits can sense when one has an open subconscious mind, and they tend to favor those individuals for obvious reasons. And the fact the doctor was so fascinated with Sylvia's case in the first place…well, that made her a perfect host, it seems," Joshua explained. "Then, there's the question of whether or not Sylvia is a malicious one. Well, it's not often a spirit _pretends_ to be good. Sylvia is a spirit, not a demon. Malicious spirits only happen in fiction. But, in reality, if a spirit truly has malicious intentions, it will never try to mask that fact. Look at Captain Wideman; he never tried to mask his intentions."

Nathan sighed. "I still don't like the fact that a spirit is calling the shots here. I just want a confirmation that Kristin is perfectly safe. We all know Sylvia's fate."

"Captain, we're all worried about the doctor. I know how difficult it is to put your complete trust in someone you can't see, but…there's no way around it."

"I…I know," Nathan admitted. "Funny thing, I've been telling Kristin not to worry, that she needs to trust Sylvia and that everything will be all right. But, deep inside, I'm so scared for her. I…care for her so much. I…" his voice trailed off as he tried to search for the right words.

Joshua knew how Nathan felt about Kristin. The whole crew did. Considering the losses in the captain's past, it was the general consensus that they were happy for the two of them. It was no secret that the captain cared for every member of the crew. Really, they were like one big family. The captain was like their surrogate father. But seeing him so distressed was painful. He reached across the desk and placed a hand over his.

"I know how you feel about her," Joshua said gently. "We all care about her. You don't need to explain anything." He knew it was a lame attempt at comfort, but then, he and the captain never had many intimate moments. Actually, this was the first by his recollection. He hoped it would suffice.

Nathan simply nodded. He was both surprised and touched by Joshua's gesture. No, they'd never had many heart-to-heart talks. He actually hadn't attempted to be so candid with him so as not to make him feel uncomfortable. But it just happened. Besides, Joshua was a doctor. By nature, they were used to listening to other people's problems. Still, he felt the need to apologize. "I didn't mean to…sorry."

Joshua waved a hand. "You don't need to apologize. It's obviously…affecting you."

"So, you think my worry is warranted?"

"Somewhat," Joshua agreed. "But if I suggest you not worry so much, will it make a difference?"

Nathan chuckled softly. "Not a damn bit."

Joshua smiled. "Well, _try_ not to worry so much. Sylvia has a plan. It's up to us to find out what it is."

"I'll try," Nathan promised. "As far as Sylvia, it's the anticipation that's killing me."

"I have a feeling we'll look back on this one day soon and laugh."

"I hope you're right about that," Nathan replied. "Uh, well, I suppose I should let you get back to your work?"

"Ah, it's fine. I was actually just finishing up for the day."

"Well, I hope you have a good evening," Nathan said.

"Thank you; you too, Captain."

Nathan headed towards the door, and then turned back to him. "And, Joshua?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks…for everything."

Joshua gave him a smile. "Anytime, Captain."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan headed towards his own office. It was tiny, but he had his own work to do, which he'd been avoiding. Well, Jack had work to do, that is. He was supposed to be writing letters to various officials about funding for the _Nautilus_. But lobbying pompous politicians for funding had never been up his alley, even in his own time. But if he didn't have something on Admiral Beatty's desk within the next few days, he was going to be getting a stern lecture.

So, he told himself he was going to write at least one letter tonight. That would hopefully keep the admiral appeased. And that also meant he'd have more time to devote to Kristin.

He sat down and began composing the letter. But after a while, the paper before him was filled with crossed-out words and rewrites. In short, it looked like a jumbled mess. He sighed and stepped away from his desk for a moment. He debated just taking a drive over to Rose's apartment and leaving the work until tomorrow when he heard footsteps in the hallway, footsteps that sounded like they were on a mission towards _his_ office. He looked at his doorway expectantly.

A moment later, Senator Mayfield appeared. He stood in the doorway, glaring.

Nathan tried to act natural, however. "Uh, good evening, Senator. Anything I can do for you?" Nathan motioned towards one of the chairs in front of his desk.

The senator stiffened, but finally sat. "Captain, indeed there is, and you're quite aware of it, I'm sure. I told you to stay away from my wife, did I not?"

"That, you did, sir," Nathan agreed. "And I have, so I fail to comprehend what reason you have to-"

Richard slammed his fist on the desk. " _Don't_ lie to me, Captain! Do you really think it's best to toy with the man who has the power to either fuel your career…or ruin it?"

"I'm not lying, sir," Nathan replied, keeping his cool. "And forgive me, I don't even know exactly what you're referring to."

"Sylvia is gone. She left me. I'm assuming this is _your_ doing?"

"Quite the opposite, sir."

"You're _lying_!" Richard accused again. "I swear to you, Captain, I will have you court martialed in a second if-"

"On what grounds?" Nathan interrupted.

"Consorting with another man's wife, obstruction of justice, adultery…really, all I need to do is report to Admiral Beatty about your actions, and he'll agree in a moment that they're questionable. And the admiral will do whatever I say. He knows he can't afford to lose me at the moment. The United States Navy can't afford to lose me," Richard threatened.

"Now you listen to me. I haven't done anything indecent with your wife at all," Nathan countered.

Richard shrugged. "It's your word against mine, Captain. Who do you think the admiral will believe?"

Nathan sighed since he knew the answer. At least, he was fairly sure he knew.

"So, I'm going to ask you again, and this time, I want the _truth_. Where the _hell_ is my wife?" the senator asked slowly and deliberately as though he was very close to losing his anger completely.

"Why do you want to know?" Nathan challenged.

"Because she's _my_ wife," Richard answered. "Why do I need to explain it to _you_?

"Senator, you know exactly why. Don't think I didn't see what you've done to her."

Richard's anger seemed to melt somewhat. "I know, and I'm sorry. I really am. I just want to make things right with her."

"I'd like to believe that, but what if she doesn't want to see you?" Nathan asked.

"I have to try. Please, Captain?" The senator almost sounded desperate.

If it were anyone else, Nathan would have felt sorry for him. But he didn't trust the senator, and he'd made a promise to Kristin. And he wasn't going to put her in harm's way if he could prevent it. "I assure you, she's safe. But she's resting, obviously. Let her mend, let her heal. When she feels she's up to it, she'll be back here working. I'm sure she'll talk to you if you stopped by her office."

"How dare you dictate to me how and when I'll see her!" He stood. "I can see coming here was a complete waste of time. I'll be seeing the admiral in the morning. You can explain it all to him."

Suddenly, Nathan felt his own flash of anger. Really, he didn't know what came over him. It was almost as though he was in a dream, like he had no control. He raised his fist and before he knew it, the senator was on the floor, holding his nose, blood spewing out from beneath his fingers.

It took the senator a moment before he finally got to his feet. "Oh, the admiral _will_ hear about this," was all he said before leaving.

Nathan shook his head as if he was suddenly coming back to reality. His hand was throbbing. "Damn," he muttered. "What mess have you gotten me into now, Jack?"

Of course, he received no answer.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin awoke feeling like she hadn't slept in ages. It took great effort to actually open her eyes. When she did, she realized things looked rather unfamiliar. She forced herself to sit up, but when she did, she felt the familiar pain course through her body. She'd actually forgotten it until then. She let out an audible gasp and swallowed hard, willing the pain to subside. When it finally did, she took a moment to look around.

She was in a bedroom, but it wasn't in Nathan's apartment, she was sure. She struggled to remember earlier conversations. She remembered Nathan telling her he was going to find Joshua and Katie. She remembered Katie talking to her for a moment, remembered Joshua's medical examination. But, she'd also remembered how exhausted she'd felt. She remembered closing her eyes…and everything had gone dark. But that had to have been hours ago. She looked out the window. The sun had already gone down. How had she lost so many hours? Then, it dawned on her… _Sylvia_.

She toyed with the thought of trying to speak with her when there was a gentle knock on the door. Then, it opened. Kristin was relieved to see Katie; she surmised that this was obviously her apartment…well, rather Rose's apartment. She had a blanket in her hands.

"Oh, glad to see you're awake," Katie said with a smile. She set the blanket on the edge of the bed. "I brought you an extra blanket if you needed. Are you hungry, by chance, Sylvia? I just made dinner."

In fact, Kristin was starved. She remembered she'd told Nathan she wasn't hungry earlier when he'd asked her. And she didn't know if she'd eaten anything since; her stomach growled at the mention of food. "I'm famished. Um, but it's Kristin actually."

"Oh, Doc…I'm sorry. I didn't realize…"

"It's fine. Neither did I, actually. I don't even remember half the day. What happened?"

Katie shrugged her shoulders and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Nothing much. The captain just wanted to be sure you were safe. He just left not too long ago, actually. Maybe an hour."

"Is he all right?"

Katie smiled softly to herself. The captain and the doctor were so similar. If anyone mentioned the other, the first words uttered were an inquiry to their well-being. It was very sweet. Everyone knew how much they cared for one another. "He's fine," Katie assured her. "He was worried about you, but he was fine."

Kristin nodded. "Well, I'd just like to apologize to you personally for all this. I certainly don't want to put you out, and it can't be easy when I seem to have…multiple personalities, as it were."

Katie took Kristin's hand in her own and squeezed it gently. "Doc, you don't _need_ to apologize. It's not exactly your fault. Besides, I'm glad you're here. I was feeling kind of lonely, and I miss our talks." Then, she flashed her a grin. "We women need to stick together, right?"

Kristin smiled back at her. "Indeed."

Katie stood and held out her hand to help the doctor out of bed. She knew she was still hurting. "Come on, I know you're hungry."

Kristin accepted her help without question. "Thank you."

"Of course, Doc."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

In light of what had just happened, Nathan knew he wasn't going to get any more work done, so he simply closed up his office for the night. On his way out into the parking lot, he looked for any sign of the senator, but he found that he'd left. He did feel bad…somewhat. Certainly, the senator deserved it. But, maybe he was being sincere. Maybe he really did want to apologize and make amends with his wife. But, what if Sylvia refused? What would the senator do then? Nathan shuddered at the thought. He still didn't know who was supposed to be responsible for Sylvia's death, but if he had to bet, he'd lay odds that the senator killed her. Of course, only time would tell.

He'd already seen Kristin go through enough pain as Sylvia. No way was he going to contribute to it, he vowed. Although he had intentions of leaving her to rest, he thought he ought to tell her what had just happened, just in case. He got into his car and drove to Rose's apartment. As he walked up the stairs, he favored his left hand, which was still throbbing. And it was now swollen. He knew for sure the others would notice, so he did his best to hide it while he knocked on the door.

A moment later, Katie opened the door. "Captain!" she greeted with a smile. "What a surprise."

"I know you're probably sick of seeing me, and I really was planning on leaving you alone for the evening…but something's come up," he explained.

Katie waved a hand. "Oh, don't worry about it. You're not a bother at all. Come in." She stepped away from the door and allowed him to enter.

Nathan looked around expectantly, but Kristin wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Uh, is the doctor…awake?"

Katie smiled and nodded. "She's just freshening up; she should be out in the moment. I suppose you want to see her?"

"Well, I came to see both of you, but yes. Is she feeling better?"

Katie chuckled. "You don't need to explain. But, she's Kristin at the moment, if that's what you're getting at."

"Is that Nathan I hear?" Kristin said as she entered the room. "Hello."

"Hi, there. How are you feeling?" Nathan asked, moving alongside her.

"A little better," she assured him. "At least I'm feeling like myself," she said with a slight chuckle in her voice.

"Um, you know, I think I'm going to go do up the dinner dishes," Katie said, knowing the two of them needed privacy. "Let me know if you need anything," she called as she headed into the kitchen.

Nathan pointed his thumb in her direction. "She's very tactful, isn't she?"

Kristin laughed softly. "She is." She motioned towards the sofa. "Uh, why don't we have a seat?"

Nathan obliged and Kristin sat in the spot next to him.

"So, you came here just to see how I was feeling?" she asked.

"Well, the thought had crossed my mind, but actually, that's not the only reason. There's been a new…development," he began gently.

"Development?" she questioned. "Is…is everything all right?" Concern laced every word.

Nathan sheepishly held up his hand.

Kristin gasped. "My God, Nathan; what happened?"

"Richard came to see me…well, Jack, that is. I was working in my office on the base. He was looking for you," he explained.

Her heart sank. "So, you thought you'd hit him to make up for what he did to me?" she said quietly.

"Not exactly. He…he wanted to know where you were. He says he just wants to talk to you. He says he wants to try to make amends, wants to atone for his past actions. But, I just couldn't trust he was being sincere. And I promised to protect you. I told him you needed time. I told him to give you a few days and that if he still wanted to talk, he could find you at the clinic. But, he didn't quite like that answer."

"Oh, dear," Kristin muttered. "Things got heated?"

"Somewhat," Nathan confirmed. "He threatened me, threatened to speak to the admiral about a court martial."

"A court martial? On what grounds?"

"Exactly what I said." He shrugged. "And, well, one thing led to another…and before I knew it, he was lying on the floor with his nose bleeding. I swear, I don't even remember hitting him. It was almost like…"

"You weren't yourself?" Kristin finished. "Welcome to the club."

"Well, I'm guessing Jack had a hand in it, yes," Nathan confirmed. "But, well…I thought you should know. The senator has a lot of influence over the Navy and the brass, considering his financial state. I'm afraid they're going to do whatever he wants, so I can't say how tomorrow is going to go."

Kristin simply nodded, but didn't speak.

"Are you…okay…with the news?"

"I'm fine," she assured him. "Like you said, you might have been influenced by outside forces. I certainly know what that's like. We obviously can't prevent it now. You know, someone wise once told me there are no accidents here. Just go with the flow."

Nathan smiled and put his arm around her shoulders. "Yeah, I wonder who that was."

She laid her head on his shoulder and snuggled into him. "Really, it's futile to worry about it. I'm sure Jack and Sylvia will take care of us."

"Now you sound like Joshua," Nathan noted.

She sat up and looked at him.

"Well, I needed to talk to someone," he finally admitted. "I had some worries of my own."

"Oh, I see," she replied, returning to her previous position. "And did he help you feel better?"

"A little," he confirmed.

She took her hand and wrapped it around one of his. "You know, this won't last forever. We're going to be back on _seaQuest_ before you know it," she assured him.

Nathan marveled at how Kristin did that; how she could comfort everyone around her even though she was facing her own dark shadow of the unknown. He squeezed her hand gently. "I know. On the bright side, our next mission should be a walk in the park."

"Indeed," Kristin agreed. "As long as there are no ghosts involved. I think I've had my fair share, considering they seem to like me so well."

Nathan chuckled and hugged her a little tighter. "I'll be sure to write them a memo."


	12. We'll See If We Can Fill An Empty Heart

**December 1, 1941**

Nathan headed to the base earlier than he normally would have. Although Kristin had helped ease his mind about what was to happen, he was still apprehensive. Therefore, he thought it best to attempt to compose at least one letter for Admiral Beatty. It was one last attempt to get in his good graces in case he did side with the senator.

And just as Nathan wrote his last word, he heard a knock at the door. He looked up to see Mildred, the admiral's secretary. "Captain Remington, the admiral would like to see you."

Nathan nodded solemnly, expecting as much. He brought the letter he'd written and went on his way to the admiral's office, feeling like a condemned man on his way to the electric chair. But, surprisingly, when he reached his office, the admiral greeted him with a smile.

"Good morning, Jack. Nice to see you working so early." He patted him on the back. "That shows real dedication, and the brass notices those things."

Nathan nodded. "Yes, well, I am a man of my word, sir. You asked me to compose these letters for funding and I've been working on them diligently. In fact, I have the first one here for your approval."

The admiral took the letter, but didn't look at it at all; he placed it on his desk. "Well, I trust you've done a fine job. But actually, there's another matter I'd like to discuss with you."

_This is it,_ Nathan thought.

"Senator Mayfield called me at home last night, and-"

"Sir, I am so sorry," Nathan said, feeling his only option was to beg for forgiveness.

"Captain, what do you mean?" Admiral Beatty questioned. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Uh…I…I thought…" Nathan stammered.

The admiral sighed. "Captain, I'm not sure what's going on, but I called you in here to congratulate you."

" _Congratulate_ me?"

"Yes…the senator has agreed to fund everything we need, the _Nautilus_ included."

"He did?" Nathan said in surprise, obviously confused.

The admiral nodded. "And it seems I have you to thank for it. The senator said you certainly influenced his decision. Unfortunately, he's at home with a stomach bug, but I trust we'll see him in a day or two." He motioned towards the letter on the desk. "So, really, it seems these letters lobbying for funding are rather unnecessary at the moment. "But, we have other matters to attend. You need to start going through your submarine and deciding what type of improvements you'll need when you ship out in two weeks. So, get that written up, hm?"

Nathan gave a salute. "Aye, sir."

"And, Captain?"

"Yes?"

"Whatever you said to the senator, keep it up," the admiral said with a smile.

"I'll try, sir."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin awoke feeling refreshed. And it was a relief to know she was still herself for the moment. She heard a familiar voice.

_How are you feeling?_

"Sylvia?"

Kristin heard a soft laugh. _Yes. I'm sorry about yesterday. I know I was rather absent, but I thought you needed your space. And I needed to rest as well. Are you all right?_

"I'm…as well as can be expected, thank you," Kristin replied. She had so many questions to ask, but she wasn't sure where to start exactly. "Sylvia, can I-"

_You've done everything you're supposed to do so far,_ Sylvia interrupted _. Now, I need you to do something else for me. Now, I know you're thinking, why don't you just take over again? Well, I can't at the moment. It's very exhausting…for both of us. And I promised to keep you safe. I want you to know I am doing my best._

"Well, I do appreciate that," Kristin replied. "What do you need done?"

_You don't remember yesterday, do you?_

"Small glimpses," Kristin admitted. "Why?"

_Kristin, dear, do you remember what you told Nathan when he asked you what you'd have done had you been in my situation?_

Kristin thought for a moment. "Divorce?"

_Bingo. Richard and I were married in the territory of Hawaii, so all you need to do is find a lawyer._

"Alone? Sylvia, I'm not sure-"

_Just trust me. Everything will be fine. You already know what to do. Remember, I'm still with you. I'm just…behind the scenes. I'll guide you if I think you need it, I promise you._

"But what happens if I-"

_You'll be fine. Don't worry._

Kristin sighed. Sylvia certainly had a way of getting what she wanted. And it seemed Kristin had little choice in the matter. She knew the conversation was over and that it would be pointless to ask any of the thousand questions weighing on her mind. Instead, she got out of bed. She heard quiet movement coming from the kitchen. She knew Katie was already up and about, considering she had to go to work.

Kristin headed into the bathroom and brushed her teeth and hair. She then put on a smile and walked into the kitchen. "Good morning." She was greeted with the aroma of pancakes. "Oh, something smells delicious."

Katie returned the smile as she worked over the griddle. "Well, hello yourself. I hope you're hungry."

"I am, but I didn't expect you to cook for me. I am a capable person, you know."

"Doc, I know…but with your current state, well, I thought you deserved a little pampering," Katie replied. "And, please, don't argue," she added, knowing Kristin was about to protest.

"Oh, very well," she muttered. "Thank you."

"Anytime." She set a plate down for her at the table. "Please, have a seat. "

Kristin did so, feeling a little awkward about all the attention she was getting.

Katie, however, was pleased. "Coffee?"

Kristin nodded as she took a bite. "Oh, these are delicious. But aren't you going to eat?"

"I already did," Katie assured her. "I have to leave shortly. Um, actually, I wanted to talk to you about that."

"Oh?"

Katie sat across from her. "I hope you don't mind, but I didn't think you'd want to be alone while I'm gone."

"Actually, I was a little concerned about that," she admitted quietly, "considering we don't exactly know the senator's intentions."

Katie nodded. "Good, because I've found someone to stay with you. And if anything goes wrong, well, at least you'll have someone. He should be here any moment."

" _He_ who?" she wondered aloud.

But there was a knock at the door before Katie could answer. She reached across the table and patted her hand. "You'll see." Then, she went to answer the door.

A few moments later, Katie reentered the kitchen with Ben in tow. "Now, Ben has promised me he'll take care of you," Katie assured her. "If you need anything, you know where to find me. But, otherwise, you two should be fine, right?"

Ben flashed her a grin. "Of course."

"Great," Katie replied. She leaned down and gave Kristin a gentle peck on the cheek. "He promised he wouldn't give you any trouble. I'll see you later?"

"Of course," Kristin replied, feeling somewhat apprehensive about spending the day with Ben. Oh, he was sweet enough, but he had that mischievous side as well. And she wasn't exactly in the mood for mischief.

As Katie walked out the door, Ben said, "Uh, so…how are you feeling?"

Kristin blushed slightly. She wasn't particularly pleased about her appearance; in short, she was slightly embarrassed. "I'm all right," she assured him. "Um, did Katie tell you about-"

"Sylvia?" Ben finished for her. He nodded. "She explained how sometimes you…"

"Turn in to _Sybil_?" Kristin guessed.

Ben chuckled softly. "I was thinking more like _The Three Faces of Eve_ ," Ben teased gently.

Kristin smiled. "Well, either way, I don't have much control over it unfortunately."

Ben waved a hand. "You don't need to explain. We'll deal with it." He paused for a moment. "Uh, Doc…I am really sorry about what happened."

She nodded. "I'm fine," she assured him. "Thank you. Um, are you hungry?" She motioned towards the plate of pancakes on the kitchen counter. "Katie made plenty."

"Sure, I could eat," he said, helping himself. He sat across from Kristin and the two ate in silence for a few minutes.

"Uh, so, did you have any plans for today?"

"Well, actually…" Kristin began. "I need to find a lawyer."

Ben gave her a look.

"For Sylvia," she explained. "It was her idea, and frankly, I'd rather not go alone. I'm glad you're here today."

Ben reached across the table and squeezed her hand gently. "I am too," he assured her. "I…I know we haven't had much time together, not one on one at least. And I know I don't make it very easy for you. I know I'm kind of…difficult. But, I do care about you, Doc…really and truly."

Kristin looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. She wasn't sure what to say. Really, she and Ben had never had any intimate moments that she could recall. There was always chaos involved. Their most intimate moment was their near-death experience during Hurricane Sheila, if one could call joking about lobsters very intimate. Of course, in that frightening time, Ben's humor was greatly appreciated. Ben had a gift that was often under-appreciated. Sure, he was a smart aleck. But, when push came to shove, he was dedicated; and he was very sweet. That was a side he didn't show very often, but he was showing Kristin that now. And it truly touched her.

"The feeling's mutual," she managed to choke out, swallowing back her tears. She covered his hand with her other hand and gave it a pat after a pause. "Well, um, I'm going to get ready. I won't be long," she promised.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

While Kristin was in the shower, Ben took it upon himself to go through the phone directory and find some information on divorce lawyers. Although he hadn't had to lay a hand on a phone book since he was a kid, it actually wasn't that hard to remember how to use one. _Though the Internex would have been much faster,_ he thought. He found three that were located downtown, so they were easily accessible. He wrote all the information down on a piece of paper and stuffed it in his jacket pocket.

By the time he was finished, he looked at the clock. Kristin had been in the bathroom for at least a half an hour, maybe a bit longer. That didn't seem like her; she was normally very prompt. No, he didn't really know for sure how much time she spent in the bathroom, but he guessed it couldn't be long. Besides, the _seaQuest_ had a ten minute water limit for showers. Even if the doctor was enjoying not having a time limit, he seriously doubted her taking advantage of it. He thought for a moment and after mulling things over in his mind, he decided he'd make sure she was all right.

He knocked gently on the door. "Doc? Is everything all right in there?"

Ben thought he heard her blowing her nose. Then, he swore he heard some sniffling and the clearing of her throat. "I…I'm fine. Sorry to keep you waiting. I…I'm just having a little trouble with my hair. It's so hard to get it presentable. I'll be out shortly. Sorry."

"I was just checking. Take all the time you need." He slowly walked back to the kitchen, but somehow, he doubted it was the doctor's hair that was bothering her. Sure, the styles of the 1940's were slightly different and possibly more complicated than in their own time. However, Kristin never seemed like the type to fret over her appearance. He knew there was something more to it, but he wasn't going to push it for the moment. He didn't want to push her and cause her to withdraw. He picked up a magazine Katie had on the coffee table. No, he wasn't really interested in it since it was a women's magazine, but he needed something to occupy himself for the moment.

He leafed through it absentmindedly, but after ten minutes, he was sure he heard soft sobbing coming from the direction of the bathroom again. He simply couldn't ignore it anymore. He set the magazine down and headed toward the bathroom again. He knocked gently. "Kristin?"

"I…I'm fine," she called softly.

"No, you're not," Ben countered. "You're crying."

"It's nothing." She sniffled again.

Ben sighed. "Are you decent?"

There was a pause. Then, he heard her say, "Yes, I'm dressed."

She half-expected him to just barge in, but instead, he asked permission. "Can I please come in?"

"Very well," she replied, knowing she hadn't much of a choice.

A second later, Ben opened the door and took one look at her. "Well, your hair looks fine. Is that why you're upset?"

"Of course not," she answered, sounding frustrated. " _This_ is the problem." She pointed towards her face. "I…I thought I could cover it up with makeup, but it's not working. I…I'm quite embarrassed about it. I didn't even want you to see it, and I don't feel comfortable going out in public like this." A soft sob escaped her throat. She covered her face with her hands. "I'm so ashamed."

Ben wrapped her in his arms. "Oh, Doc…you have no reason to feel ashamed."

She buried her face in his chest. "I don't want anyone to see me like this."

"We can fix that," Ben promised. "But first, you have to dry those eyes. We don't want your makeup to run." He pushed her away gently so he could see her face. He grabbed a tissue from the box and dabbed her eyes carefully. "Don't cry, all right?"

"A-all right," she replied, somewhat confused by what he had planned.

A few moments later, he asked, "Better?"

She shrugged. "I suppose…"

"Good," he said with a satisfied smile. "Now, come over here into the light." He moved her over a few feet and gently tilted her head back. "Stay just like that." He then took the small compact of makeup and began dabbing it onto Kristin's face until it was covered. When he was satisfied, he said, "Now have a look."

Kristin looked at him, quite unsure. "I appreciate you trying to help me, but-"

"Just have a look," he urged again. "It looks one hundred percent better. I promise."

She sighed, knowing it was pointless to argue. She turned to the mirror, shutting her eyes tightly since she was too afraid to look. Then, she cautiously opened one eye and stole a glance. She was amazed by what she saw. She opened both eyes and gasped. "I can't believe it."

Ben grinned from ear to ear. "I told you."

"You can barely see the bruises." She turned to him. " _Where_ did you learn how to do that?"

He shrugged. "I have four older sisters. I was their guinea pig for makeup, hair, and fashion experiments more times than I can count." He paused for a moment. "And if that ever leaves this room, I'll have to hurt you."

She chuckled softly. "Your secret is safe with me." She turned back to the mirror to look one last time. "Well, I suppose I need to thank you."

"No, I think we're even."

She turned to him, somewhat confused by what he meant.

"It makes up for those lobsters I ate," he replied with a smile.

She laughed. "I'd almost forgotten about that."

"Well, I haven't. And you've done more for me than you know."

"You know, I'm beginning to see why Katie married you. You're quite charming and sensitive when you want to be," Kristin told him.

"Just don't spread it around. I don't want to ruin my reputation. Um, are you ready then?"

She nodded. "Yes, I guess we ought to get a move on."

Ben offered his arm. "Then, let's go."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The two drove downtown, and Kristin looked out the window at the passersby. There were women wearing dresses from the time period and men in suits: all Americans. Obviously, there were more Americans in Oahu than she'd expected. She even peered into other vehicles and saw everyone was of American origin, it seemed, something she hadn't been expecting.

Ben found a parking place and helped Kristin out. "Well, who do you think we should try first; Reggie Carrington, Mark Tate, or Anthony Morrison?"

"I'm not sure. Do you think any of them will be sympathetic to Sylvia's cause?"

"Well, why don't we start at the beginning?" He pointed across the street. "Mr. Carrington's office is right there."

Kristin glanced in the direction he was pointing. Sure enough, there was a large sign over the door: 'Reggie Carrington, Attorney at Law'. She thought for a moment, part of her hoping for a sign from Sylvia as to which direction she should go. But none came, so she nodded. "Very well; Reggie Carrington it is then."

Ben noticed her hesitance and put a reassuring arm around her shoulder. "I'll be with you the whole time. It'll be all right."

She took his hand in her own and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you."

"Anytime. Come on." He ushered her across the street and up to Mr. Carrington's door.

Kristin took a deep breath before opening the door. "Well, here goes nothing."

The two walked inside and were greeted by a smiling, older woman; seemingly, Mr. Carrington's secretary. "Hello there, can I help you?"

"Uh, hello," Kristin answered, still feeling unsure about things. "Um, yes." She lowered her voice. "Uh…I…"

Ben could see Kristin was having some trouble. He thought he'd jump in to try to help. "Yes, we'd like to see Mr. Carrington. My friend here needs to see about getting a divorce."

"Oh, I see," the woman answered. She looked Kristin up and down. Then she reached out and patted her hand gently. "I understand you're feeling very unsure about things, but I promise we can help you."

Kristin offered the woman a smile. "Is Mr. Carrington sympathetic towards women? I realize that divorce isn't the common opinion…"

"My dear, you needn't worry about that." She held out her hand. "Why don't I introduce myself? I'm Reggie Carrington."

Kristin took her hand and blushed. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't realize. We thought…"

Reggie waved a hand. "It's perfectly all right. Reggie is short for Regina, but the only one who calls me that is my mother. And your name is…?"

"Oh, sorry. Um, I'm Sylvia Mayfield. And this young man is a friend of mine, Teddy Pierce," Kristin explained.

Reggie took his hand and gave it a firm shake. "How wonderful to meet the both of you." She turned back to Kristin. "You wouldn't happen to be married to Richard Mayfield, the senator, would you?"

"Unfortunately, yes. You've heard of him?"

"I've heard a thing or two about him, yes," Reggie replied. "His name shows up in the papers quite often. If the senator gets divorced, the press will be all over that like gravy on rice."

"I…I know," Kristin answered quietly. "Is…is that a problem?"

"Oh, no, honey," Reggie replied, trying to reassure her. "Believe me, you're not the first woman to get divorced from someone who lives in the limelight, and you won't be the last." She took a file out of her desk. "First things first, we need to fill out some information."


	13. I Won't Tell You What The Chances Are

Reggie put the file onto a clipboard and handed it over. Kristin reached her hand across the desk to take it from her. When she did so, the sleeve of her blouse moved up just enough to where Reggie could see an ugly bruise peeking out. She gasped audibly. "My word, what happened to your arm?"

Kristin immediately became self-conscious and pulled the sleeve of her blouse back down. "I, uh…well, I…" she stammered. "It…it's nothing."

As Kristin began writing the necessary information down onto the file sheet, Reggie looked her up and down with a scrutinizing eye. After several minutes, she finally knelt down in front of her. "How long has it been going on?" she asked gently.

"W-what?" Kristin asked in shock, still trying to pretend nothing was out of the ordinary. She wasn't intending to lie; she just didn't want everyone to know about it.

Reggie gently took her hand in her own and rolled the sleeve of Kristin's blouse up just enough to where the bruise could be seen. "How long has it been going on?" Reggie asked again, her voice now becoming more insistent yet remaining gentle.

Kristin exchanged glances with Ben before answering. "Miss Carrington, I…I'm not sure what you think is going on, but I bumped my arm. It's nothing; it should be just fine in the next few days. That's it."

Reggie dropped Kristin's hand and stood. "Miss Mayfield, if I'm going to agree to represent you in this divorce proceeding, I need your honesty. You do understand that, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"Then why do you feel the need to lie?" Reggie asked.

"I'm not lying. I told you, I just had a little accident. I'm terribly clumsy and-"

"Was clumsiness the reason for that black eye as well?" Reggie said, bringing a hand to Kristin's cheek.

"I…"

Reggie took Kristin's hand in her own and gave it a gentle squeeze of support. She looked at Ben. "Mr. Pierce, would you mind if Sylvia and I spoke privately?"

Ben gave Kristin a questioning glance.

"It's all right," Kristin said quietly. "I'll be fine."

"Perhaps you could go over to the hardware store?" Reggie suggested. "Give us twenty minutes or so."

Ben nodded, casting a final look at Kristin as if he were asking her permission.

She gave him a nod, and he stood, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "I'll be back shortly then." With that, he left, leaving the two women alone.

Reggie sat next to Kristin and took her hand in her own once again. "I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable," she said gently. "I want to help you, honestly. But I can't do that if you won't help yourself. In order to do that, you need to be honest."

Kristin said nothing at first. She was hoping to keep this part a secret. Obviously, she wasn't really Sylvia Mayfield, but she'd already experienced enough of her life to know the hell that woman went through. And she also felt the shame, embarrassment, and frustration that abused women can have. Kristin herself had never truly understood why women would stay in such a relationship, but now, part of her did. It ruins one's confidence in herself. Maybe she was experiencing a little of that herself, considering she felt ashamed about it even though she hadn't experienced it firsthand. She simply wanted to hide the bruises.

Reggie gave Kristin's hand another encouraging squeeze. "I know it's hard to say it." She paused for a few moments. "Maybe it would help you if I told you that I know _exactly_ how you feel?"

Kristin didn't miss the hint at all. She caught Reggie's gaze. "You…you do?"

Reggie nodded. "And I've been divorced from him for three years. I know the shame and embarrassment. I know the long-sleeved blouses and the makeup. I've been there."

"I was ashamed…" Kristin answered quietly, averting her gaze.

"I know," Reggie replied, "but you don't need to be. This will actually help us in the long run with the proceedings."

"But…" Kristin began. Back in her own time, she was no stranger to divorce lawyers, but this was different. Number one, in this time, women were still second-class citizens in many respects. Plus, her ex-husbands had never been attached to any sort of scandal. If word got out of Senator Mayfield's divorce and the reason for it, well, she wasn't quite ready for that kind of publicity. Thankfully, however, she heard a familiar voice.

 _I told you I'd help you if you needed it,_ Kristin heard Sylvia's voice say inside her head. _Just listen to Reggie. She knows what she's doing. Don't worry. It'll be fine._

"I really wanted this to be clean and simple," Kristin finally said.

"I understand," Reggie replied. "And it will be as clean and simple as I can possibly make it, I promise you. That doesn't mean there won't be a few obstacles, however. But you just let _me_ worry about that. Once we fill this paperwork out, it can be forgotten. Hopefully, your husband signs the papers and it should be fairly easy after that."

"What if he _doesn't_ sign the papers?"

"Then that's going to be a bit more difficult," Reggie answered. "But there are ways around that. You're…you're not in the same house with him, are you?"

She shook her head.

"And you have a safe place to stay?"

"I'm staying with a friend at the moment," she replied.

"Mr. Pierce?"

"Oh, no," Kristin assured her. "I'm staying with a female friend. Teddy's just staying with me while she's at work. Considering Richard wasn't too happy with the fact I left, well, my friends thought I shouldn't be alone."

Reggie gave her a satisfied smile. "Oh, thank goodness. Otherwise, I was going to give you a phone number of a friend of mine. She helps women in your situation. But it sounds like you have things under control. Not being alone is very smart. I suggest you keep doing that. However, just in case, I'm going to write her name, address, and phone number down. If you need anything, day or night, you give her a call. Trust me, she won't mind. Now, her name is Elizabeth Baker, but everyone calls her Betty." She passed the paper over to Kristin.

"Thank you," Kristin answered. "I…I didn't realize women like me could get help." Certainly, this wasn't like it was back in 2019. There weren't laws against it or shelters for women. Kristin didn't realize women in the 1940's had much of a choice in the matter.

"Well, there aren't official services for it, no," Reggie replied. "But maybe someday." She gave Kristin's hand a squeeze. "We women need to stick together and help other women, right? We can't just sit idly by and allow it to happen. That's why I do what I do."

"You mean you only accept cases from women?"

"Oh, no…I'll take any case that walks through that door. Only problem is, there aren't a whole lot of _men_ who want a female representing them in the matters of law. So, most days, I have no cases whatsoever. But the ones who _do_ stay with me stay for a reason. And I help them to the best of my abilities."

"Everything happens for a reason," Kristin muttered softly.

"Exactly," Reggie agreed. "Nothing happens by accident."

Although Kristin had said these words herself not too long ago, she hadn't thought about their meaning for a while. But now that she'd been taken out of her own life and placed in someone else's, she started pondering on them again. Still, she did her best to push the thoughts out of her mind, at least for the time being, while she and Reggie continued to work on the necessary paperwork.

Like clockwork, Ben returned twenty minutes after he'd left. He opened the door and poked his head in. "Did I come back at a good time?"

Reggie looked up and smiled. "Oh, yes, Mr. Pierce. Thank you for asking. Sylvia and I were nearly finished. Come in, please."

Ben made his way back inside and took the chair next to Kristin. "Everything all right?" he asked her.

She gave him a small smile and a nod. "Everything's fine."

Ben reached over and gave her hand a squeeze.

"All right," Reggie said, pointing to an x on the paper next to a blank line. "All I need is your signature, and that's it."

"That's it?" Kristin repeated, signing Sylvia's name.

"For now, yes. Give me a few days. By then, it should have been sent to your husband, and I'll be in touch with you. You've already given me the numbers where you can be reached, so there's not much more we can do but wait. Please, don't worry though. Remember…let _me_ worry about it, understand?"

Kristin nodded. "I'll do my best."

Reggie then handed her a business card. "I know you already have a great support system around you, but if you need anything, feel free to call me as well…day or night, okay?"

Kristin accepted the card. "Thank you…I will."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

It was after noon by the time Ben and Kristin returned back to the apartment. And both Ben and Kristin were surprised to find Katie, Nathan, and Lucas waiting for them inside.

" _There_ you two are," Katie greeted them.

"I didn't realize there'd be a party," Kristin quipped.

"Well, we all wanted to see you on our lunch," Lucas broke in. "To check up."

" _Where_ were you?" Nathan asked. The look of concern still hadn't left his face. Kristin knew he was worried. In fact the others all wore a similar expression.

"We weren't trying to make you worry," Kristin began apologetically.

"We went downtown," Ben added. "We…" He cast a glance at Kristin; it wasn't really his place to say. Instead, he placed a supportive hand on her shoulder.

Kristin took a deep breath. "On Sylvia's suggestion," she said, speaking loudly enough so they all could hear, "we went to find a divorce lawyer."

"And we found a great one," Ben assured the others. "Don't worry…I was with her the whole time."

The others exchanged a glance. "Well, no one expected any less of you, Mr. Krieg," Nathan finally said. "In fact, you're relieved for the day. Perhaps you could walk Lucas back to the base?"

Lucas' face fell. "But I wanted to see the doc."

"Oh, Lucas…I am so sorry, but it just isn't a good time at the moment. I'll tell you what. How about you and I have lunch tomorrow, just you and me, hm?" Kristin asked. She knew Lucas was missing her, and she felt the same way. But she also needed to speak with Nathan, and it was just an inauspicious time for much else. "There's just so much going on."

Lucas nodded, but he flashed her a grin to show he wasn't angry. "That sounds good." He gave her a tight hug. "I do understand, Doc. It's okay."

Kristin returned the hug. "Stay out of trouble now."

Lucas chuckled softly as he and Ben started out the door. "You too."

Once they'd gone, Nathan turned back to her. "So, a divorce lawyer?"

"Her name is Reggie Carrington."

"Her?" Katie repeated, sounding surprised.

Kristin nodded. "Sylvia didn't say, but I think she led me to her…inadvertently. She just told me to trust her." She gave a slight shrug. "She seems to know what she's doing."

"Well, that's good to hear," Katie replied after a moment. "Maybe we're wrong about our task here."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you had said you didn't think we could change anything," Katie continued. "But with the captain's news…and now yours…well, I think we definitely _are_ changing things."

"The captain's news?" Kristin questioned, looking at Nathan.

Nathan started to speak when Katie interrupted, "Actually, I need to get back to work, and that's probably a good thing since you two need to talk." She gave Kristin a quick hug. "See you later."

"Bye," Kristin and Nathan said in unison.

"Sorry," Nathan replied once they were alone. "I know this was kind of a shock."

"A little," Kristin admitted. "I didn't mean to cause you any worry."

"I know," Nathan replied. "Um, why don't we have a seat?" He motioned towards the sofa.

"So, what's this news?" Kristin asked.

Once they were seated, Nathan continued, "Well, what Katie meant was that apparently, the senator approved the funding after all."

"He did? So, that means…"

"He never mentioned our little altercation," Nathan finished. "No, not at all. I realize that might not be cause to celebrate yet since we can't be sure what exactly the senator is planning, but I hope it means that he might be changing his mind about things. Perhaps we _are_ altering the past just enough."

Kristin wasn't quite sure, but she didn't want to say it out loud yet. "Perhaps."

"So tell me about this lawyer of yours," Nathan said after a moment.

"There's nothing to tell, really. Her name is Reggie Carrington, and she's quite a person. She's strong and gentle, though. We had a long talk, and she'll do what she can. We filled out a stack of paperwork, and she'll have to be in touch with me. That's about it," Kristin said.

"Well, she sounds wonderful, and if Sylvia says we should trust her, we should."

Kristin chuckled softly. "Listen to you. I thought you didn't like putting your trust into a spirit?"

Nathan sighed. "Initially, I didn't, but in light of recent events, I think we need to. Besides, if we all trust her, it will help you, won't it?"

"I suppose," Kristin agreed.

"Well, I'm off-duty for the rest of the day. Are you hungry?"

"A little," Kristin admitted. "But I can fix a sandwich for myself, if that's what you're getting at."

"No, actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go out? Just the two of us?" Nathan asked.

"Oh…" Kristin said hesitantly.

Nathan couldn't mask his disappointment. "But of course, if you don't want to…"

"No, it's not that," she replied. She placed a gentle hand on his cheek. "That's a lovely idea, but how about I take a rain check? Just for a little while…maybe we can do dinner instead? I'm just a little tired."

Nathan brightened. "Dinner, it is," he said with a smile.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After Kristin had rested and Katie returned home, Nathan took Kristin to a little waterfront café for dinner. Although the evening was relaxing, Nathan couldn't help but notice Kristin was a little quiet.

"Is everything all right?" he asked.

"Of course," she replied. "This is lovely," she gushed.

Nathan nodded. He did want a quiet dinner, but he hoped they could talk a bit more. Once their meal was finished, he took her hand. "How about a walk?"

She smiled softly and nodded. The two walked down the beach hand in hand.

After a while, Nathan said, "I couldn't help but notice you seem…distracted."

Kristin gave him a weak smile. "Maybe a little," she admitted.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Kristin hesitated.

"What is it?" Nathan asked, sounding desperate. "You're…you're kind of scaring me."

Kristin sighed. "That's not my intention." She turned her back to him, facing the rolling waves gently lapping onto the shore. "I…I don't want to scare anyone."

"But something's bothering you?"

"I…I'm not sure if it's bothering me exactly. It's just I've had a bit of a revelation, I suppose," Kristin began quietly.

"Are you going to share it with me?" Nathan pressed.

Kristin was silent for a few moments. "Nathan, I don't want you to be upset…about anything."

"I won't be," Nathan insisted. "Please?" He placed a hand on her shoulder and gently urged her to turn back to him. When she did, he realized she had tears running down her cheeks. "Kristin?"

"Have you ever thought why me?" she finally asked.

"What?"

"Have you ever thought why Sylvia chose me? Why we happen to look alike?" She paused for a moment for Nathan to answer, but she could see he was mulling the thought around himself. "It's not an accident."

"Okay…" Nathan began, unsure of what she was getting at. "But…"

"I don't think we're supposed to change anything here. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite," Kristin replied, a soft sob escaping her throat. "I…I think there are obviously more similarities between Sylvia and me than meets the eye."

Nathan placed a hand on her shoulder. "Perhaps there are, but I don't understand. Why are you upset?"

Kristin gently pushed him away. "Nathan, don't you see? Sylvia chose me, and…and I'm so sorry."

"For what? Kristin, what are you saying?"

Another sob escaped her. "Nathan, I…I think I've known for a while. I was just too afraid to admit it. But if everything truly happens for a reason…perhaps this is meant to be." She turned her back to him once again, crying softly.

It took a few moments for Nathan to realize what she was getting at. He placed a gentle hand on her trembling shoulders. "You think you're supposed to die here?" he guessed.

"What else could this all mean?" she asked through her tears. "Why else would there be such parallels between our lives?" Then after a pause, she said, "I'm not afraid, though. Like I said, I think I've known for a while." She turned to him, her eyes filled with tears. She placed a hand on his cheek. "But I'm sad…for all of you. I…I know how much it will hurt you…all of you. I am so sorry."

Nathan instinctively wrapped his arms around her. "That…that's not going to happen," he said after a moment, his own voice trembling at the thought. "I won't let that happen."

Kristin cried softly into his shoulder. After a few moments, she said, "I…I know you're going to try, but this might be something you can't protect me from."

Nathan didn't answer. Instead, he hugged her tighter. He knew Kristin's words held some meaning. The fact that she and Sylvia had some sort of connection had always been a worrying topic since this all started. Admittedly, no one really pressed the issue in trying to figure out what it all meant. But he did know one thing. He wasn't going to let anything happen to Kristin. He cared about her too much to say goodbye. "Why…why don't we go home?" he finally said after a moment.

Kristin nodded, and the two walked down the beach towards Nathan's car.


	14. There Was Joy And There Was Hurt

Once in the car, Kristin moved close to Nathan. He placed an arm around her shoulder while he drove. He knew she had said she wasn't frightened, but he didn't believe her. He knew she was scared; he was as well, but he had to try to cheer her up.

"Everything's going to be fine," Nathan whispered softly. "Isn't that what Sylvia said?"

"Yes…" Kristin replied, her voice still trembling. "But there's so much she won't tell me. She says that if she does, I'll only resist the inevitable."

"And you think that means something awful will happen to you?"

"I…I don't know what to think," Kristin admitted. They drove in silence for several minutes before Kristin spoke again, "Nathan?"

"Yes?"

"C-could I stay with you tonight? I mean on your sofa? I…it's just that I don't feel ready enough to explain this to anyone else. I'd rather keep it between us for the time being…"

Kristin's voice sounded so small, it nearly broke Nathan's heart. "Anything you need, I'll do," Nathan assured her. "Should we stop by Katie's to tell her?"

Kristin shook her head. "As soon as she sees me, she'll know something's not right. She'll ask questions I'm not ready to answer. After we get to your place, you can just call her, tell her I'm not feeling well and that I'm going to stay with you for the night."

Nathan was in awe over the fact that Kristin was still able to think logically, considering her emotionally fragile state. Still, being a doctor, she had that natural ability. He nodded. "Whatever you want."

The rest of the drive back to Nathan's apartment was quiet, both Nathan and Kristin lost in their own thoughts while clinging to one another in an attempt to get a small bit of comfort; both of them needed it. A short time later, Nathan parked the car in front of his apartment building.

Nathan slid out of the car and held out his hand to help Kristin out. She accepted his hand, and the two walked inside, Nathan's arm around her shoulders. Once inside, Nathan ushered her over to the sofa. "Um, just let me call Katie; I'll be right back."

She nodded, trying to offer him a weak smile.

A short time later, Nathan returned, taking the place next to Kristin. "Katie says she hopes you feel better."

"I hope I do too," Kristin said quietly, laying her head against his shoulder.

Nathan instinctively wrapped his arms around her. He wanted to tell her that everything was going to be fine, that he wasn't going to allow anyone or anything to harm her. But he couldn't really promise that. Kristin wouldn't believe him anyway, he knew. Still, he felt he should say something. "We'll get through this. We've seen bad before."

"But not quite like this," she whispered softly. Nathan could tell she was about to cry again.

Nathan couldn't argue with her. Instead, he did his best to try to comfort her. "Please…don't cry."

"I'm just worried about how this might affect everyone…if I _am_ right. I…I don't want to see anyone get hurt." Her voice trembled with emotion.

"Kristin, I really love that you're always thinking of others, but this one time, you need to stop worrying about that for the moment. We're going to be fine," he assured her. "And the rest of us don't want to see _you_ get hurt either."

She nodded, but didn't speak. Nathan could hear stifled sobs escape her. Her small frame trembled as she cried against his shoulder.

"Oh, sweetheart," Nathan said. He'd never referred to her with any term of endearment before, but he couldn't help himself. This one time, he felt it was warranted. He hugged her tightly and did his best to whisper soothing and comforting words to her. "Everything's going to work out. The only way we're going to get through this is if we stop trying to analyze it, stop trying to think about the 'what ifs' and the 'maybes'.

Kristin didn't answer. She just clung to him as tightly as she could and cried quietly. After a while, her sobs subsided. They stayed that way for a long time, just clinging to one another as if there was nothing else left in the world to hang on to.

After a while, though, Nathan finally spoke. "As much as I love holding you, we might want to get some sleep."

She nodded. "Sorry." She pulled away from him and wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks.

"You don't need to apologize. Um, I was thinking about the sleeping arrangements. Why don't you take the bed? I'll stay on the sofa," Nathan insisted.

"No," Kristin began to protest. "I…I couldn't possibly. I don't want to put you out."

"You _won't_ ," Nathan assured her. "Don't argue, please. Just give me a minute to change into some pajamas; then it's all yours." He started toward the bedroom, but turned back to her before entering the doorway. "Uh, I suppose you need something to sleep in as well. Don't worry; I have just the thing. Be back in a minute."

A short time later, Nathan returned, now dressed in a pair of blue pajamas. He pointed towards the bedroom with his thumb. "I put a pair of my pajamas out on the bed for you. I'm sure the pants will probably be too big, but the shirt should be long enough to cover you."

She moved towards him and gave him a small hug. "Thank you so much…for everything." She then placed a kiss on his cheek.

"You're quite welcome," Nathan said, returning the hug. "I also got out some extra blankets, in case you get chilly. And if you need anything else, you know where to find me."

She nodded, heading towards the bedroom. "Goodnight, Nathan."

Nathan dimmed the lights. "Goodnight, Kristin."

Kristin closed the door behind her so she could change. She undressed, neatly laying her clothes out on a chair in the corner of the room. She then slipped Nathan's shirt on. As he had said, it was long enough, the end of the shirt falling to rest just above her knees. She could also smell the light scent of aftershave as she buttoned the shirt. She always loved that smell, and in this difficult time, it gave her a slight comfort. She slipped on the pants and rolled them up. They slipped down her waist, so she tucked the shirt in, which helped somewhat. Once she was dressed, she reopened the bedroom door, just in case. She could see Nathan's form lying on the sofa, but he didn't look up when she opened the door. She guessed he was probably already asleep.

She quietly padded back to the bed and climbed in beneath the covers. But, naturally, she found it difficult to sleep. She tossed and turned for a bit in an effort to find a comfortable position. It really wasn't comfort that was the problem, however. She desperately wanted to sleep, wanted the world to melt away if even for a short time, but to no avail. Her mind began to wander; she began thinking of what may happen within the next few days. And naturally, she began to feel hopeless; no matter how much she wanted to believe everything would be all right, she feared it wouldn't. She began to cry softly once again.

"Sylvia?" she called softly after a moment through her tears. " _Please_ …I know you said that everything would be all right…but I'm frightened. I'm not sure if that's true. I'm asking for your honesty. I need to know everything." She waited for several moments. There was no answer. She tried to hold back the sob that was about to escape her throat. "Please?" she asked again, her voice thick.

She sighed deeply, realizing she wasn't going to get any sort of answer. Feeling at a loss, she completely succumbed to her tears. She rolled over, burying her face in a pillow in order to muffle the sounds since she didn't want to wake Nathan.

It wasn't long, however, before she felt a gentle hand on her back that nearly made her jump. She didn't expect anyone. She pushed herself up and saw Nathan.

"I…I'm sorry," she whispered through her tears.

Nathan just pulled her into his arms. "Shh," he said softly. "No need to be sorry. I wasn't asleep yet. I've been listening to you tossing and turning, and I had a feeling you'd have a bit of trouble relaxing."

She snuggled into him and tried to hold back her tears. "I just can't stop worrying," she admitted. "I…I know I said I wasn't scared…but I am."

"I know," Nathan told her. "I…I am too, but if we keep worrying about this, it's going to ruin us. We have four days before we'll know anything."

Kristin nodded. "I've been trying to forget. I just…" her voice trailed off.

"We need to get your mind off of this," he decided.

"How?"

"Do you remember the first time we met?" Nathan asked after a moment of thought.

Kristin smiled softly. "Of course I do. It wasn't that long ago."

"Just a little over a year now," Nathan reminded her. He chuckled at the memory of Kristin arguing with Commander Ford. "From the first moment we met, I knew we would get along swimmingly."

Kristin sat up and gave him a look. "You did? But we met while I was giving Commander Ford a tongue lashing."

"I know," Nathan said with a smile. "And you also thought nothing of challenging me when I laughed. I knew then you weren't one to be pushed around. You're stubborn as hell, but very passionate about your work and your beliefs."

Kristin blushed slightly, wiping the stray tears from her cheeks. "I suppose… If it weren't for you, Commander Ford and I would still be at each other's throats."

"Well, you both were very confident in your beliefs, but at least you finally took the time to see the other side," Nathan pointed out.

"And I suppose I learned not everyone in the military is a mindless drone… _especially_ you," Kristin said.

She was starting to relax more as they reminisced; that was Nathan's plan.

"I'm glad of that."

"But I still have my reservations," Kristin reminded him.

"I wouldn't expect anything less. You're very…committed," Nathan pointed out. Then, he started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Kristin asked, somewhat annoyed that she didn't get the joke.

"I was just remembering something else from that day," Nathan said, still chuckling.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?" she finally asked after a few moments.

Nathan shrugged. "I…probably shouldn't."

"Why not? You brought it up, so now I would really like to know," Kristin insisted.

"Well, mind you, I'm sure Commander Ford wouldn't say this about you now. But do you recall that conversation?"

"Somewhat…" Kristin replied. "Not word for word, but…why?"

"Because after you went off to your staff meeting, I pointed out that you were very committed," Nathan explained.

Kristin smiled softly. "Well, that was sweet, but I'm not sure I get the-"

"And Jonathan had said you ought to _be_ committed," Nathan said, laughing once again.

Kristin's face became red. "I can't believe he said that. I don't see what was so funny. And he was the one who was at fault; he was ordering my people around. I had every right to-"

"Kristin, it was over a year ago. And you obviously know that Jonathan doesn't feel that way now. And when you think about it, it is kind of funny, isn't it?" Nathan asked.

Kristin crossed her arms across her chest. "No, it isn't," she muttered. Then after a moment, a smile formed on her face. "All right, I suppose it is. But if I find out he ever says anything like that again without my knowledge, there will be repercussions." Then, after a moment, she said, "I see what you were doing there."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Nathan said innocently. "I did nothing."

Kristin gave his arm a gentle shove. "Yes, you do. You thought we'd speak about happier times to get my mind off things."

"And it's working," Nathan pointed out.

"Yes," she agreed. She laid her head on his shoulder. "A little."

"We've certainly had a lot of adventures," Nathan continued. "Many comical times."

"Mostly involving Ben Krieg," Kristin added.

"Yes, it's always an adventure with him around…although I never asked you, how did it go with him today?"

"Oh…wonderfully actually. You know, Ben, he gets a lot of guff from the rest of us about being a smart aleck. But there's a lot more to him than that. He just doesn't show it very often," Kristin said thoughtfully.

"Care to elaborate?"

"I promised I wouldn't," she said with a soft smile. "All I can say was that he was very sweet to me."

"Well, I'm glad of that," Nathan answered, "or I'd wring his neck."

Kristin smiled softly. "Sometimes, I wonder what I did before you came into my life. I've never been used to the men in my life being so…protective of me. I mean, yes, in the past; my father and brother were that way. But since they've been gone, I've always had to rely on myself. Even my ex-husbands were never very…supportive."

Nathan couldn't help but pull her into his arms once again. " _I'm_ the one who wonders what I did to deserve you." He looked into her eyes; even in the dim light, he could see her beautiful, dark eyes. "And I will always, always protect you. I always protect the ones who mean the most to me, especially since I don't want to lose them. I don't want to lose _you_."

Kristin felt tears sting her eyes once again. She simply hugged him tighter.

Nathan placed a kiss to her cheek. "I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make sure nothing happens to you."

"Good," Kristin whispered, "because if I do meet my demise here, you're the first person I'm haunting."

Nathan laughed softly. "I think I could live with that."

The two stayed that way for a few moments. Nathan then heard a few soft sniffles coming from Kristin. "What's wrong?"

"I just…never knew how much you cared," she finally said.

"I tried to tell you before…"

"I know," she replied, gently pulling away. "It just took something bad to happen for you to realize it. It's almost a shame."

"No…I've known it for a while," he admitted. "It's just taken me a while to admit it. I…have fears, which you can understand. And you have them too."

She nodded, realizing he was right. "I'm not angry. I only wish it were under happier circumstances."

Nathan brought a hand to her cheek. He was going to say something, but he suddenly forgot it. "Oh, Kristin…" he breathed softly. He brought his face closer to hers, placing a kiss to her forehead. "After this is all over," he said, placing a kiss to her cheek, "we will have a long chat," he promised, placing a kiss to her other cheek, "about how we both feel." He looked into her eyes, his lips just mere centimeters away from hers.

"I would…like that, very much," Kristin whispered, moving just slightly closer to him.

There was a brief second of hesitation, both contemplating whether they should or shouldn't. Finally, however, Nathan closed the gap. The kiss deepened and lingered for several moments.

Kristin broke the kiss first, however. Nathan looked into her eyes, seeking an answer. "I think that perhaps we should try to sleep," she said softly.

"Do…do you want me to leave?"

"No, of course not. Nathan, I don't want you to think I regret what just happened." She looked down and blushed. "We just can't...allow ourselves to give into temptation just because of the situation at hand." She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "We just need to wait for when our vision isn't so…clouded, that's all." She looked into his eyes. "Please, stay with me until I fall asleep?"

Nathan pulled her close. "Anything you want." He kissed her on the forehead. "Do you want to keep talking?"

She snuggled into him. "No, you've helped ease my mind for the moment," she assured him. "But that doesn't mean I won't have a relapse."

"I'll be here if you do," Nathan promised. "Sweet dreams."

"You too," Kristin whispered.

Nathan just held her and rubbed her back gently. It wasn't long before he heard her breathing pattern change, becoming slower and deeper. He knew she was finally asleep. He placed one last kiss to her forehead before closing his own eyes. His last thought before he fell asleep was that he hoped he could protect her. He really hoped he could.


	15. Life Was Changed

**December 2, 1941**

Senator Mayfield woke early. He decided he had spent enough time recuperating. Certainly, his nose was still bruised, but his ego was not. And he had work to do. He couldn't let a little bruise stop him from that. He was heading to the base, and he also hoped he might run into Sylvia there. He was hoping to speak to her, convince her to come home.

He quickly dressed and had a bite to eat. But then, there was a knock at the door. He wondered who could be there so early in the morning. He looked out the peep hole in the door to see the mail carrier and opened the door.

"Good morning," the young man greeted. He waited for a response, but was simply met with the grim look on the senator's face. The mail carrier cut right to the chase. He handed over the large envelope. "Uh, a registered letter for you, sir." He handed over a form to sign and pointed to an x at the bottom. "Sign here, please."

Richard did so and the mail carrier was on his way. But once the senator read the contents of the envelope, he quickly made a change of plans. He called his lawyer in Washington, Jackson Weston. He was on hold for several minutes before Jackson's voice came through the receiver.

"Richard, I didn't expect to hear from you. How is the business in Pearl going?" Jackson asked good-naturedly.

Richard, however, was not as cordial. He didn't have time for casual conversation. "Well, actually, it's just hit a bit of a roadblock. My wife just served me with divorce papers. I need your help."

"Divorce? I didn't even know you two were having problems," Jackson replied.

"Every couple argues, Jackson," Richard defended. "Just tell me how to get out of this. I don't want a divorce."

Jackson sighed. "I'll do what I can. Read me the letter."

Richard cleared his throat and began reading aloud, " _Mr. Mayfield, on the grounds of cruelty-_ "

"Stop right there," Jackson interrupted. "If Sylvia wants the divorce, she'll get it."

"What? Why? I'm not going to sign this."

"It doesn't matter if you sign it, Richard. It's the law. On the grounds of cruelty, a woman can request a divorce, and any judge will be sympathetic to her," Jackson explained.

"She'll have to prove it first," Richard said smugly.

"Richard," Jackson said quietly, "you're not fooling anyone. I've seen Sylvia with injuries she couldn't explain. Now I never questioned it before because it's not my place to say; I figured she didn't mind the way you treated her. But if she's no longer happy, she has the right-"

"What about my rights?" Richard argued. "Don't I get a say?"

"Richard, let me make a suggestion, not just as your lawyer, but as your friend as well. You have to let this go. It's too late. What's done is done. The media is going to have a field day when this gets out; you know it and I know it. But signing the papers will make it less messy."

Richard said nothing in response.

"Look, I know you don't like it, but my hands are tied. I have an associate who has an office in Pearl. He's young, but he knows what he's doing. His name is Marcus Harris. He's located at 5142 Kalaloa Street. I'll give him a call to tell him you're coming," Jackson stated. Then he added, "You'll do that?"

"Very well," Richard said after a moment through gritted teeth. "I'll see him, but that doesn't mean I'm signing anything yet."

"It's up to you. Good luck, Richard."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

When Nathan woke, he found that Kristin was still snuggled up against him, sleeping soundly. He was relieved that she apparently had slept through the night. She was so upset the night before, he expected to be woken up at least once. But that wasn't the case. He wrapped his arms around her as she slept; he heard her sigh contentedly.

Nathan loved these moments; these sweet, intimate moments that were just between the two of them. He couldn't imagine not having Kristin in his life now. She was one of the constants that helped keep him grounded. And in turn, he did the same for her, though he couldn't help but notice that lately, she wasn't quite herself. Of course, under the circumstances, he couldn't say he didn't understand that. He had only hoped...

At that moment, Kristin began to stir, interrupting his train of thought. She opened her eyes and looked at him sleepily.

"Hi," Nathan greeted softly.

"Hi," she answered back, stretching her muscles back to life. "What time is it?"

Nathan glanced at the clock. "It's nearly seven. Did you sleep well?"

She rolled over and laid her head on his shoulder. "I did, actually; I'm sure it was because of you that I did. Thank you."

Nathan gave her a gentle squeeze. "It was my pleasure."

"I suppose we're going to have to get out of bed soon," Kristin said after a moment.

"I could call in sick, play hooky?" Nathan suggested.

A small smile formed on Kristin's face. "That's very sweet of you to offer, but actually, I was thinking of going with you."

Nathan gave her a look. "You mean you're going to work? Are…are you sure about that? After last night..."

"You've already shown me that if I focus on other things, I can take my mind off of it. And you said yourself, we have four days before we'll know anything. Plus, Sylvia appears to be MIA at the moment. Apparently, she's not going to tell me one way or the other, and frankly, I don't feel like sitting around and waiting. If you knew you were going to die, you wouldn't either. You'd want to do as much as you could before that." She paused for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. When she spoke once again, her voice was softer, gentler. And Nathan could hear the sheer emotion in her voice since she was close to tears. "If these are my last days, I want to spend it with the people who mean the most to me. My only regret is that Cynthia isn't here…"

Kristin tried to stifle a small sob, but it came out anyway. Nathan was ready to offer support when she quickly swallowed her tears. She waved a hand. "I'm fine," she assured him. "Um, if it does appear that these are my last days, I've already decided to compose a message for her. You'll deliver it for me if need be?"

Nathan placed his hands on her shoulders; it was a gesture of support. But it was also because he needed the support for himself. The thought of Kristin dying and him having to deliver a message to her daughter about it was frightening for him. He felt his own tears creep up, but he did his best to keep them back; that would upset Kristin more, he knew. "Of course I will. I'll do whatever you need."

She leaned against him and whispered, "Thank you."

He wrapped his arms around her then, knowing she needed it.

She placed a kiss to his cheek, and the two stayed that way for a few moments. Then Kristin finally spoke, "Besides, I promised Lucas we'd have lunch."

"That's right," Nathan replied. "Well, as long as you're up to it…"

She nodded. "I'm fine, I promise you. And I know you're all with me."

"Of course we are," Nathan said, giving her another gentle squeeze.

"Please, don't say anything to the others, though? Can we keep it between us?"

Nathan hesitated. "Kristin, we all love you, and we want to help you in any way we can."

"Nathan, please?" she asked again. "I…I never wanted everyone worrying about me, and it might just be speculation…"

Nathan sighed. "Fine," he agreed, "on one condition. We bring this up to Joshua."

Kristin opened her mouth to protest, but Nathan continued, "Joshua's your friend _and_ your doctor. You trust him, don't you?"

"Y-yes…"

"And he is well-versed in the matters of the paranormal, correct?"

"Yes," Kristin agreed. "But-"

"What I mean is that Joshua can probably give us insight on this. He's already explained to me what he thinks about Sylvia's intentions and-"

"He did?" Kristin asked, surprised.

Nathan's face reddened slightly. "I…I had told you I needed to speak to someone, and it was nice to have someone else's opinion."

Kristin nodded in understanding. "Very well," she agreed. "But only Joshua."

Nathan hugged her gratefully. "I can live with that. Well, I guess we need to get a move on then."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Richard Mayfield had a plan. He was going to ruin Captain Remington's career in every way he could after he'd punched him. But he'd changed his mind. He knew Jack expected him to tell the admiral what he'd done, but that was too obvious. No, instead, he approved the funding since he had ulterior motives. He was appointed to his position for a reason. He was in support of a war, just as many US officials were. It was inevitable.

And Richard Mayfield had a lot of friends…all over the world. All he would need to do is make a few phone calls and pull a few strings. When he was finished, he was sure that President Roosevelt would thank him personally. As for the little matter of his divorce, well, he needed to ponder on that. But he was sure he'd come up with some sort of revenge just for Sylvia.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After a quick bite to eat and stopping by Katie's apartment so Kristin could change into some clean clothes, they headed to the base. Nathan walked Kristin to her office.

"If you need anything…" Nathan began.

"I know," she said before he had a chance to finish. "Um, you'll tell Lucas where to find me? You will see him, won't you?"

Nathan nodded. "I'm sure I will. We have a meeting with the admiral to discuss our funding distributions. All of the military staff has been asked to attend. Um, I'll come meet you at the end of the day?"

She nodded. "And I'll speak to Joshua about seeing us after our shifts have ended. Will that ease your mind?"

"Yes…and I hope it will ease yours too," Nathan explained.

She gave him a small smile. "I'm sure it will. Um, well, I suppose I should go inform them they'll have my help again. I'll see you later then." She turned to leave when Nathan grabbed her arm gently. She turned back to him.

"Just…just take care of yourself." He wanted to wrap her in his arms, just in case. But he suddenly remembered where they were. Instead, he took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'll see you as soon as I can."

She stood on her toes and moved close to his ear. "Everything's going to be fine," she whispered softly. She then turned and went to find Joshua, casting one last glance at him before turning down the hallway, disappearing out of Nathan's sight.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"No!" Admiral Bill Noyce argued. He was on the vid-link with General Warren. "You promised we'd have until the end of the week. And now you're going back on your word."

"Bill, we did say that, but that was being ideal. But look at it from our point of view. The UEO's most powerful submarine is gone. We've lost precious time and money looking for her and her crew. It's like she disappeared, Bill; she's just gone. But in the time she's been missing, word has gotten out. You and I both know the same scumbags that _seaQuest_ has worked to protect our world from are out there plotting against us at this very moment. We need to be prepared. We can't keep waiting for _seaQuest_ to return before we do anything. You know that," General Warren explained.

"But no one has explored the possibility that she could be stuck in a fresh water sink hole. Or she could merely be dead in the water. There are so many things that-" Bill began to argue.

"Admiral, don't you think we've already explored that possibility? Even if _seaQuest_ is found, it's likely her crew could have perished. You need to start informing families."

Bill sighed. He didn't want it to come to that. That was the one part of his job that he hated, informing loved ones of a disappearance or a death. And oftentimes, a disappearance meant death. All that meant was that there was no body for the family to bury. "There's no convincing the brass otherwise?" he asked hopefully.

The general shook his head. "I'm sorry. You know this is for the best?"

Bill nodded. Part of him knew; the military part. The trained UEO naval admiral knew. But the human in him couldn't comprehend. He was torn, but his hands were tied. He had to back down.

"On a more personal note, Bill, I am still remaining hopeful. I hope we find them well and safe. The UEO has agreed to allow two submarines to continue the search."

"Two submarines? You and I both know that could take ages…"

"At least it's something. I lobbied for it."

"Well, I appreciate that. I really do," Bill stated sincerely.

"Anytime," the general answered. "Until then, you know what needs to be done."

Bill nodded solemnly. He had to inform families. "I do."

"Good luck." With that, the general cut the link. Bill said a silent prayer, hoping that he'd get a call telling him they'd found _seaQuest_. Then, he set to work.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Getting back to work was just the thing Kristin needed. Joshua and Katie…well, rather Peter and Rose…were relieved to see her. And soon, it was like she'd never been away. The morning flew by, and before she knew it, it was lunchtime. She was just finishing up with a patient when she turned to see Lucas standing in the doorway with his wonderful grin.

"Hey, Doc. Are you all ready for lunch?" he greeted.

She returned his smile. "I wouldn't miss it for the world. Just one moment." She turned to the nurse assisting her and gave her some instructions. Then, she turned back to Lucas. "All set," she confirmed. She placed an arm around his shoulders and led him down the corridor. "So, where would you like to go?"

Lucas shrugged. "Well, there's this great little place just down the street. Mig…er, I mean Carlos and I have eaten there a few times already. What do you say?"

"Lead the way."

On the way to the restaurant, the two chatted quietly. Kristin had almost forgotten how much she loved talking to Lucas. She felt very guilty about not being able to chat with him like she'd done on _seaQuest_. Unfortunately, the situation didn't allow for that. Oh, she knew that Lucas was understanding of it all; he'd never complain. He knew she didn't particularly want to push him aside, but she felt guilty all the same.

"…well, enough about me," Lucas finally said. He'd been telling her about what he'd been up to, which really just consisted of military meetings and get-togethers with the other crew members. "What about you?"

"Oh, I haven't done anything very exciting," Kristin replied, waving a hand. She didn't want to lie to Lucas…not at all. In fact, they often told one another things they wouldn't tell another soul. But there were so many things she didn't want him to know only because she didn't want him to worry. No matter how adult Lucas seemed, he was only seventeen. He needed to be having fun, not worrying about her.

"Well, how've you been? Is everything…okay?"

"Everything's fine," she assured him. "Honest."

They finally arrived at the restaurant and ordered; it wasn't long before their meals arrived. They ate, quietly making small talk as they did so. After their meal, they made their way back to the base, this time taking a longer route walking along the beach.

"It's so beautiful out here, isn't it?" Kristin breathed.

"Yeah..." Lucas agreed. "It kind of makes you…forget your troubles."

"You can say that again," Kristin agreed, gazing out onto the gently rolling waves. A moment later, she felt Lucas' hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him.

"Why do you do that?" he asked her quietly.

"Do what?"

"Pretend like everything's fine when I know it isn't. I might be young, but-"

"You know I don't think of you as a child...well, not like that. I…I only want to protect you."

"I know, Doc, I know," Lucas said gently. "And I appreciate that…so much. You…you care about me more than my own mother, which is the very reason I don't want to lose you. I need to protect you too, but I can't do that if I'm kept in the dark."

Kristin stared into his sparkling blue eyes. There was so much love there, so much understanding that she couldn't help but feel tears come to her eyes. She tried to keep them back, but a sob escaped her throat. She covered her mouth with her hand.

Lucas simply wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "It's okay," he soothed. "I'm here for you." He continued whispering soothing words while they stood on the beach, surrogate mother and son.

After a while, Kristin's tears subsided. She wiped her eyes with her hands. "Lucas, please know I'm not really confiding in anyone. It's nothing personal against you. But you're right. Everything is not fine."

"I already knew that," Lucas replied. "But if you do need to talk?"

"I've been speaking to the captain," she told him. "I have a feeling that, eventually, I'll be able to tell the rest of you. But-"

"I understand; you don't need to explain."

Kristin nodded. "Thank you." She gave him a grateful hug. "You know, I really am sorry we haven't had a chance to see one another lately."

"I understand, Doc…you've been a little preoccupied. I know it's not your fault," Lucas said.

"As soon as we get back to _seaQuest_ , we're going to have a long chat, just you and me," Kristin promised. Of course, she couldn't possibly tell him about what she thought was going to happen. She was doing her best to remain positive despite her fears. And although she'd been reluctant about it at first, she hoped that Joshua would be able to shed some light on this situation by the end of the day.

"That sounds great, Doc. I can't wait."

Kristin placed a hand to his cheek. "And whatever happens, just remember I'll always love you."

Lucas nodded. He wasn't quite sure what the doc was getting at, but he hoped she'd open up to him soon enough. "I will. I love you too, Doc…and I always will."


	16. Disassembled, Rerranged

By late afternoon, Kristin, Nathan, and Joshua were off-duty. Nathan met the two of them in the corridor outside their offices. Nathan suggested they go to his apartment, deciding the setting would be a bit more private. He also hoped a somewhat familiar place would help put Kristin's mind at ease, seeing as how she felt comfortable there. The three of them walked out into the parking lot and got into Nathan's car. It was a fairly quiet ride, everyone uttering bits of small talk along the way, but no one saying anything in particular.

Five minutes later, Nathan pulled the car up in front of his apartment building, and the three of them walked inside.

Joshua didn't beat around the bush. He knew there was cause for concern since both Nathan and Kristin had told him there was a problem. He just didn't know what it was. Nathan and Kristin sat on the sofa; Nathan had taken Kristin's hand in his as a gesture of support. Joshua could see the worried looks on their faces. He sat across from them in the armchair and finally asked, "So what's going on?"

Kristin looked at Nathan, afraid to speak. Nathan gave her an encouraging nod. She took a deep breath, as though she was trying to muster up the courage she needed to say it. Then she said, "I think that perhaps I know the reason this is all happening. I believe Sylvia chose me, and that wasn't an accident…."

She paused for a moment to take a sip of water. Joshua noticed how her hands trembled when she did so. This wasn't like the Kristin he knew. He'd always known her to be so calm, so collected. Even when she'd found out she had been unknowingly playing chess with Rubin Zellar, he'd never seen her so nervous. He watched her take another deep breath. "It only seems logical to me that if I'm living Sylvia's life, reliving her experiences…that I will experience her death as well," Kristin whispered quietly. She was wringing her hands together, her eyes downcast.

Joshua hadn't noticed before, but Kristin had dark circles under her eyes as though she hadn't been sleeping well. She also looked a little pale and peaked…perhaps even a little thinner. The stress of the situation was obviously affecting her the most out of everyone. But there had to be a different explanation. Certainly, Kristin wasn't meant to die here. That couldn't be Sylvia's intention. He asked Nathan for a pad of paper and a pen.

Joshua then wrote at the top of the page: _The Facts_. He stood and sat on the sofa next to Kristin. He placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I don't think you're meant to die here," he assured her.

Kristin opened her mouth to protest, but Joshua continued, "Let's go through and establish what we know. Then we can talk about what we don't know and go from there." As a scientist, he knew Kristin would appreciate such a method. Establish the facts, and then test the hypothesis. No, they couldn't exactly test the concept of Kristin's death. However, there were other methods, Joshua knew. But he would bring that up a little later; one thing at a time.

"Okay," Joshua said, looking at the others. "We know that Sylvia brought us here to help solve her murder." He wrote the first fact down. "That's what she told you, correct?" he asked Kristin.

Kristin nodded. "And we know that Sylvia and Richard have a history of marital discord."

Joshua wrote that down.

"And we know that Sylvia and Jack had a very close relationship…possibly a romantic one," Nathan added, exchanging a glance with Kristin.

"Right," Joshua said, scribbling away.

The three of them continued establishing facts. When they thought they had established every last one, Joshua flipped the notepad to a clean piece of paper. At the top, he wrote: _Questions._ "Now we write down what we don't know but need to find out," he stated.

"Well…" Kristin said, "we still don't know exactly what our purpose is here. Are we solving a murder or merely witnessing it? And are we supposed to prevent anything? The way I see it…" Her voice trailed off. Since Joshua suggested this little experiment, Kristin had become somewhat more relaxed. She was no longer Kristin Westphalen, the woman who may die in the next few days. Instead, she was Dr. Kristin Westphalen, the scientist. Her mind was busy, and that was putting her at ease.

"Go on," Joshua encouraged.

Nathan put a reassuring arm around her shoulders.

"Well…the way I see it, I think we're seeing the events that led up to the murder itself. Sylvia's beatings, the ball, meeting the _Nautilus_ crew, meeting Jack, filing for divorce; although we don't have concrete evidence, I am assuming that these are events that Sylvia actually lived. But even though we're the key players, we're really only witnesses. So when and if we're here for the actual murder…it isn't as though we'll be solving anything. We'll only be witnessing it," Kristin surmised.

Joshua copied what she said down on the notepad. When he was finished, he said, "I think you're right. I don't think we're really solving anything. In the end, we'll know what happened, but I don't think we'll know anything more until the sixth. I don't think we'll know who killed her beforehand. And even if we did, I don't think it's something we can prevent either."

"So you _do_ think I'm supposed to die here?" Kristin asked after a slight pause.

"No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Have you spoken with Sylvia lately?"

Kristin shook her head. "Only when she suggested I go find a lawyer. But since then, she's been missing in action, if you will. I've tried, but I don't get any answer."

"But when you asked about such things before, what did she say?" Joshua pressed.

Kristin sighed. "That everything would be fine."

"And you think she's lying?"

"Well, no…" Kristin replied. "But sometimes, she speaks in riddles. Not only that, she'd said it before and it wasn't exactly true. She did, however, say I might delay the inevitable. I…I'm not sure what she means by that. And if I'm not supposed to die here, you tell me why in the world there are so many parallels between Sylvia and me. Why am I always the lucky one? Why is it that these ghosts…or spirits…or souls tend to find me so appealing?" Kristin's voice rose slightly with each word she uttered. She was scared, frightened. And now that she was thinking about it all again, she couldn't help but hide her feelings any longer. Her voice trembled. "If I'm living Sylvia's life, it would only be logical to think…" She turned around towards Nathan and buried her face in his chest.

Nathan wrapped his arms around her as soft cries could be heard. Nathan gave Joshua a desperate look as he did his best to comfort Kristin.

Joshua waited patiently for Kristin to calm down. But as he did so, he started to ponder on Kristin's questions. Why _did_ she seem so appealing to the spirit world? Well, he had already given one answer to the captain when he asked the same question: that Kristin's subconscious mind was open to it. However, perhaps there was something more to it than that. And when the thought came to him, he couldn't believe he hadn't thought about it before. "I've got it!" he shouted after a moment.

Kristin gently pulled away from Nathan and wiped her eyes. Both she and Nathan looked at Joshua expectantly.

"Uh, sorry," Joshua said a little sheepishly. "What I meant was that I have a couple of ideas." He flipped the notepad to a new page and began to write. While he wrote, he spoke, "When we were on the _George_ , Lillian used you as a vessel. We knew Lillian was a ghost, a spirit that hadn't crossed over. And so was Captain Wideman. Now on the mission to the _George_ , there were two human women, you and Katie. Why you and not Katie? Well, that's a question I can't really answer. Perhaps it was the fact that you and Lillian were both British. Perhaps it was the fact that Katie and her team went to explore the other levels, so you were just readily available. Perhaps it was because your subconscious mind is more inviting for such an experience. I really don't know."

"But what does the experience with Lillian have to do with Sylvia?" Nathan asked. "Do you think we need to help Sylvia cross over?"

"I'm not sure it's that cut and dry," Joshua finally replied once he'd finished writing. "In fact, I think it might be something entirely different."

Kristin sat forward, now intrigued. Her worry had suddenly faded again…at least for the time being. "How so?"

"Well, do you remember anything that happened with Lillian?"

Kristin furrowed her brow slightly as if she was trying to draw out some latent memories from that day. She shook her head. "Not really. I only know what you've told me."

"You don't remember speaking to her like you do with Sylvia, do you?" Joshua continued.

"No…but I don't know if I'll remember this experience either. I might have." She looked at Nathan. "Although none of you have ever mentioned that fact before. You've told me I was very confused…as though I wasn't always sure what was going on. I did hear Lillian's voice, but it was...different."

"We don't think you spoke with Lillian this way," Joshua confirmed. "In fact, I've never heard of a possession like this."

"So you don't think this is one?" Nathan asked.

"It might not be."

"Then what is it?"

Joshua hesitated. He knew Kristin didn't quite believe in the paranormal to begin with, and he knew the idea he had was going to throw everyone for a loop, especially her. He wasn't even sure if he believed it, but it was something that might help them discover the who, what, where, when, why, and how. He had to throw it out there. "You remember my research at Cologne?"

Kristin thought for a moment. "Hypnotic regression…I remember. But how-"

Joshua nodded. "I know you want to know how hypnotic regression would play into this. But there are other aspects of it. Have you heard of past life regression?"

"What's that?"

"Well, it's similar to hypnotic regression. In hypnotic regression, the hypnotist uses hypnotic suggestions to delve into the individual's memories…perhaps find reasons that he or she has a certain fear or other problem. Past life regression works under the same principles. The hypnotist would make certain suggestions, but instead of going into the individual's current memories, the hypnotist would go into the memories of one's past life…or lives," Joshua explained.

"You…you believe in past lives?" Kristin stammered, somewhat surprised.

Joshua sighed. "I was raised an agnostic, so any thoughts on the soul or its continuance were rather a foreign concept to me…that is until I began becoming interested in paranormal research. I'm still not sure how much of it I _do_ believe. And there's still a question if the study of past lives is true science. And I'm the first to admit, there have been a lot of hoaxes…a lot of errors. But the studies I have participated in that I know are true and legitimate, the evidence is remarkable. I have a feeling that eventually, I'll _be_ a believer."

"What evidence have you found?" Nathan finally asked. He'd been listening, taking everything in. But it all seemed rather…far-fetched. And how did this fit in with Sylvia and Kristin?

"Well, let me tell you the facts and explain my idea. Then, we'll go from there," Joshua replied. "First, let me explain to you the general beliefs on past lives. Now these are not necessarily religious beliefs. Obviously, certain ideologies embrace the thought of reincarnation. But the facts that I'm explaining to you are what have been established by the proponents of past life regression." Joshua set his notepad down and stood. He walked over to the window and looked outside for a minute, trying to think of how he wanted to begin.

After a moment of thought, he finally spoke, "Some believe past lives are infinite while others believe there is only a limited amount. But one thought is clear among all scientists who believe in the existence of past lives: that one relives experiences, certain events. The reason is that there are certain lessons one must learn. The types of lessons vary from individual to individual, but one doesn't always get it right the first time. Therefore, the soul is reborn over and over again. There may be years between lives…perhaps even centuries. But the soul will be reborn again."

He paused for a moment in case either of them had questions. When neither of them spoke, he said, "There may even be souls you knew in the past that you know now."

"So…you're saying that it's possible we're all in…our past lives?" Nathan finally said, unsure if he believed it. "That Kristin was once Sylvia Mayfield…that I was once Captain Jack Remington…that you…"

"That's part of my hypothesis, yes," Joshua confirmed. He sat across from them once again. "I know it's difficult to take in, that it's hard to believe we all may have lived before, that we've all known one another before." He looked at Kristin. "But the only reason I think this could be the case is because of you. How is it that you and Sylvia look so much alike? How is it that you two were both doctors? That you're both British-born? That you've both had failed marriages? And the fact that you can speak to her like you do. It just seems that's all more than just a coincidence."

Nathan and Kristin were both silent as they listened to Joshua's words. Once he was finished, Nathan was the first to break the silence. "If this concept is true, what does that mean?"

"Well, if Kristin will allow it, I was hoping to be able to put her under hypnosis. In doing so, we might be able to find some of the answers to our questions. Mind you, it wouldn't be Kristin's memories I'd be accessing, it would be Sylvia's, that is if she _is_ the doctor's past life." Joshua and Nathan both looked at Kristin expectantly.

Kristin, however, was still trying to take in what Joshua had said. And she didn't like the thought of hypnosis. Yes, she was a scientist; yes, she was always the advocate for any sort of experiment that would help them get an answer. However, she didn't quite like being the guinea pig. "I…I'd like some time to think about it," she said quietly.

"Kristin, we only have _four_ days," Nathan reminded gently. He wasn't trying to push her, but he was just as worried as she was. He wanted answers as well, and Joshua's idea seemed more and more appealing.

Kristin was about to reply, but changed her mind. She stood and started towards the door. "I think I just need a little air. Excuse me."

Nathan was about to go after her when Joshua stopped him. "Just give her a few minutes."

"But-" Nathan protested.

"She'll be fine," Joshua promised. "She just needs a few moments to think." Joshua knew Nathan was very protective of Kristin, especially now. But this was also a lot for her to take in, especially for one who didn't quite believe in such a concept. Instead, Joshua did his best to keep him occupied. He began to explain what he would do if Kristin agreed to the hypnosis.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Fifteen minutes later, Nathan was getting impatient. He knew Kristin needed a few moments alone, time to mull things over, but his worry wouldn't go away. And he couldn't concentrate on what Joshua was saying anymore. He finally interrupted him. "As fascinating as this all is, I think I need to check on her. She's been gone an awfully long time."

Joshua sighed and glanced at the clock. He did see that a significant amount of time had passed; he decided to give in. He gave Nathan a nod. "Very well."

Nathan opened the door and looked down the corridor. He didn't see Kristin there, so he went out onto the front porch. The apartment building had a large porch area for all the residents to use. Nathan looked around and finally saw her standing in the corner, looking out onto the street. One hand was on her hip, the other on her neck, a stance Nathan had seen many times. She often did that when she was deep in thought or very worried. Nathan approached her quietly.

He stood beside her for several moments before she finally realized he was there. She looked at him.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay," he told her.

"Would _you_ be?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I know it's a lot to take in. I know it's hard to believe, but is it such a terrible thought? Even if you don't believe it, it's not so bad."

Kristin gave him a confused look. "How in the world can you say that?"

"What I mean is that it's a rather lovely thought that we might have known one another in the past…that we're all…connected somehow."

Kristin shrugged. "I suppose it would be lovely if I wasn't in the shadow of a terrible fate."

"So you don't like the idea of the hypnosis?"

"Not particularly," she admitted. "Even if I do believe that I might have been Sylvia Mayfield in a past life, I don't see how we can prove I won't meet the same demise."

"Joshua just wants to see if he can't get some answers from Sylvia. Wouldn't you rather know for sure than worry for the next four days?" Nathan pressed.

"I don't know…" she admitted. "All of this…it scares me. It scared me on the _George_. That's why I was so insistent that my experience with Lillian had to be nitrogen narcosis. I never wanted to face the truth. But it's highly unlikely we all would have had a collective hallucination. Logically, I know it was something else. It's admitting it that's the hard part. And if the experience with Lillian wasn't disturbing enough, then there's this." She turned to him. "I…I…I'm just scared."

Nathan put his arms around her. "I know. I wish I could do it for you, but there's really no way to know unless we speak with Sylvia directly. Unless you know a way to conjure her up, this seems like the next best thing."

"I wish I did. I've tried, but to no avail."

"Look, no one's going to force you into anything. We can just forget the whole idea if that's what you want. Joshua just wanted to help," Nathan whispered to her.

At that moment, Joshua appeared on the porch. "Uh…sorry to interrupt, but I couldn't help overhearing. Maybe…maybe I should just go and leave you two to-"

"No," Kristin replied, pulling away from Nathan. "I…I've thought about it. And as unconventional as it seems, I…I'd like to try it. Well, rather Sylvia would like to try it."

"You're absolutely positive?" Nathan asked.

"Not really, but I don't want to go the next four days without knowing. This seems like the next best thing…you promise nothing horrible will happen?"

"I've conducted other sessions just like this one. It'll be fine. You trust me?" Joshua said.

Kristin took a deep breath. She wasn't feeling terribly confident about it all, but she nodded anyway. "I trust you."


	17. We Came Together

"Great, then we have work to do," Joshua replied, offering Kristin a reassuring smile. "Tomorrow then?"

"Sooner rather than later. I don't think I can handle waiting much longer," Kristin admitted quietly.

Joshua nodded in understanding. "Immediately after work tomorrow then. Before I go, I do have one more thing to talk to you about."

"What's that?"

"I'm going to need some help…more than just the captain. I…I know you'd rather keep this secret, but-"

"You want to ask some of the science staff?" Kristin finished for him.

"Well, I'll really only need one person, and I had one in mind: Lucas. Would you mind?"

Kristin hesitated.

"It's just that Lucas already has experience with the paranormal because of our experience on the _George_. And I think that having a child with us will make Sylvia more comfortable since Lucas was able to speak with Captain Wideman without being harmed," Joshua explained. "Not that Sylvia means us any harm; I just think she'd respond better to a child."

"Lucas is not a child," Nathan reminded.

"I know, but he's the closest thing we've got." He looked at Kristin. "Is it okay?"

"I…I…" Kristin began. Of all the people on the crew, she'd wanted to keep Lucas sheltered, protected. She didn't want him to know what could happen.

Nathan laid his hands on her shoulders and whispered, "I know you want to protect him, but I think Joshua's right. He would be beneficial."

Kristin let out a sigh. She nodded reluctantly. "Very well."

"Thank you," Joshua said. "Do either of you have any questions by chance?"

Nathan and Kristin both shook their heads.

"Well, then I hope you two have a lovely evening then. And, Doctor?"

"Yes?"

"Don't worry about a thing."

Kristin gave him a weak smile. "I'll try."

"Goodnight." Joshua gave each of them a nod and then turned to walk down the stairs.

"Goodnight, Joshua," Nathan called. "And thank you."

"Anytime."

After Joshua left, Kristin turned to Nathan. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

Nathan placed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "No need to apologize. You're feeling better?"

Kristin shrugged. "Not exactly…but I do have faith in Joshua. Although I'm not sure I believe in past lives…at least not yet, I'm hoping he can at least speak to Sylvia…somehow. And I'm hoping we can get some concrete answers."

"We _all_ want that," Nathan said, putting his arm around her shoulders. "Are you ready to go back inside?"

She nodded and allowed him to gently lead her through the door.

Once inside, Nathan instructed her to sit on the sofa. "How about I make us some dinner?" Nathan suggested good-naturedly. He knew Kristin still wasn't herself. He knew she was still worried that something horrible was about to happen to her. Admittedly, he had been worried, too. But with Joshua's revelation, he felt somewhat relieved. Naturally, it was a long-shot. But he had hope. He knew Kristin needed to find hope as well. He also knew what he needed to do. He had to get her mind off of things, yet again.

But the woman on the sofa didn't answer him. She just stared out the window absentmindedly. After a moment, she asked, "Do you _really_ believe Joshua's theory?" She continued staring out the window, however.

Nathan walked out of the kitchen and sat next to her, forgoing the idea of dinner for the moment. "I don't know yet, but I find it comforting."

She turned and looked at him. "Comforting?"

"Well…yes. Assuming past lives are real, wouldn't you rather communicate with a past life, who is essentially you, someone who once shared your soul, rather than a complete and utter stranger?"

Kristin sighed. "Well, if Sylvia _is_ my past life, I think I much rather preferred Lillian. At least with her, I didn't know what was going on. I think I enjoyed being in the dark."

Nathan smiled softly. "You promised Joshua you wouldn't worry."

"No, I said I'd _try_ ," Kristin corrected. "And I am. I just…can't seem to stop my mind from wandering. I'm trying to believe his theory. I really am. But even if it is true, I still don't see how that makes it any better. That doesn't ensure I won't meet my demise…"

"If Sylvia is your past life, do you really think she'd do that to you?"

"Maybe it wasn't her intention, but just how many people do you think she's transported from another time? It's obvious that we're her first guinea pigs. I'm not even sure she knows what's supposed to happen. Yes, she told me everything would be fine. But it's kind of hard to trust that when she allowed Richard to…well, you know what happened with him," Kristin answered.

Nathan sighed. He couldn't argue with her logic. No one exactly knew what Sylvia's plan was, and she didn't volunteer any extra details, which made this situation even more frustrating. But he couldn't sit idly by and watch Kristin deteriorate in front of him. He wanted the old Kristin back. "This is ridiculous," he finally said. "We're going to Katie's."

"No…I don't want to see anyone else, I told you," Kristin protested quietly.

"We're going to collect your things," Nathan continued. "I'll speak to Katie if you'd prefer, but you'll need your clothes if you're going to continue staying here. Then, we're going out."

"Out? Nathan, no, I-"

"There will be no arguments," Nathan told her firmly. He took her hand and helped her up. "This is what you need."

Kristin didn't protest this time. She simply sighed and followed him to the car.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

A short time later, they arrived at Katie's apartment. When Katie opened the door and saw them standing there, she immediately noticed Kristin didn't look like herself. But after giving her a quick embrace, Kristin headed to the room she was using, leaving her alone with the captain. She gave him a questioning look.

He spoke in a hushed tone. "She's not feeling terribly confident…about anything here. I'm the only one she's been confiding in," Nathan explained, "and even _I_ need to pry her open sometimes."

"I noticed," Katie replied, her tone matching Nathan's. "At the clinic, she wouldn't say much, unless it had to do with the patients. That's not quite like her. But the others have been asking about her. What should I tell them?"

Nathan sighed. "We'll need to have another staff meeting very soon. Until then, just tell them I'm keeping an eye on her. She just doesn't want anyone worrying."

"Doesn't she know that we're going to do that anyway?"

At that moment, they heard the sound of Kristin clearing her throat. They both turned to her.

"You know, you don't need to talk about me like I'm not here," she said gently.

Nathan took her bag out of her hand. "I…I'm sorry," he said sheepishly. "Why don't I take this to the car and give you two a few moments?"

After Nathan had gone outside, Katie went to her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Oh, Doc…we weren't trying to embarrass you. I'm sorry if you felt that way. I'm your friend, and I care about you. And I just wanted to know what's going on. You won't really talk to any of us, so you have to understand. We all can see you're not yourself. We just…want to help."

"I'm not trying to alienate you…or anyone else. I just…" Kristin's voice trailed off. She had so much to say but wasn't quite sure how to say it. They'd been in this time period for only a short while, but she already couldn't remember exactly how long it had been. And _seaQuest_ seemed like such a long time ago. Dr. Kristin Westphalen seemed like such a long time ago. No, she _wasn't_ herself at all. The problem was, she didn't know how to feel like herself again, especially when she didn't feel like she had much control or say in what happened here.

Katie didn't press her to continue. The doctor looked as though she was on the verge of tears, and Katie didn't like seeing her cry. She simply wrapped both her arms around her and hugged her. "You don't need to explain," Katie whispered into her ear. "Just take care of yourself, and I'll be here if you need me." Katie felt her own voice begin to quiver, although it wasn't her intention. She felt Kristin's grip tighten around her and heard her utter, "I will," and "Thank you." And she heard the doctor's own voice tremble with emotion.

After Kristin finally broke the hug, Katie could see that her eyes glistened with unshed tears. Katie turned and grabbed a tissue from the table nearby and passed one to Kristin as well. Both women dabbed at their eyes. "Everything's going to be okay," Katie told her when she felt more sober. "I just know it."

Kristin gave her a small smile. "I hope you're right."

At that moment, Nathan felt it might be safe to go back in. He gently knocked on the door before entering. "Is it safe?"

Katie and Kristin both laughed softly.

"Yes, it's safe," Kristin assured him. "And don't worry…I'm not angry with you."

Nathan gave her a sheepish smile. "Well, I'm glad of that. Um, as much as we'd love to stay, we kind of did have plans."

"Right," Kristin said with a nod. "Um, well…" she muttered, looking at Katie.

"Just go," Katie urged. "It's fine." She gave her one last hug.

"Thanks for being so understanding," Kristin replied before heading towards the door and waited for Nathan to say his goodbye.

Nathan turned to Katie. He held out his hand to shake, but instead, Katie wrapped her arms around him as well. On _seaQuest_ , she never would have done that. However, under the circumstances, she felt it was warranted. "Take care of her for me," she whispered.

"I will," Nathan promised as he returned the hug. "We'll speak soon."

Katie gave him a nod as he turned to go out the door with Kristin.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once in the car again, Nathan began to drive downtown. "So what are you hungry for?" Nathan asked her, trying to make conversation.

She shrugged. "Whatever you like." She hadn't been very talkative since they left Katie's.

"Well, would you like to eat indoors or out?" Nathan pressed.

"I'm sorry," Kristin replied. "I know you're trying to make an effort to have a quiet evening, and I'm ruining it."

"No, you're not ruining it. You just need to let go. Try and…forget things for the moment."

"I'm trying, but I suppose it doesn't look like it. I just feel so…lost," she admitted quietly.

Nathan pulled the car over and found a parking place. He took her hand and helped her out of the car. "Come on," he urged.

Kristin looked around. They were on a street along the water. There were several restaurants and little cafés tucked neatly along the way. "Where are we going?" she asked, having to run to keep up with him.

"You'll see."

They kept going until they'd nearly reached the end of the street. There was a traditional Polynesian restaurant. The two walked inside.

"How did you know about this place?" Kristin whispered to him.

Nathan shrugged. "Jack."

Kristin nodded knowingly. A moment later, a hostess greeted them and offered them a table.

However, Nathan had other plans. "Might we be able to order something to go?"

The hostess nodded and promptly handed them menus. "I'll be back shortly," she told them.

"To go?" Kristin questioned.

"Just trust me," Nathan assured her. "Order whatever you like."

A short time later, the hostess returned, and the two ordered. While they were waiting for their meals, Nathan took her hand and led her to a building they had passed just up the street. Loud music, laughing, and clapping could be heard, even though the doors were closed. Nathan opened the door and pulled her inside. It was a dance hall, and it was filled with people.

Kristin gave him a look. "What are we doing here?" she said. She had to speak louder than she would have so he could hear her over the music.

Nathan chuckled. "What is it people normally do in a dance hall?" he quipped.

Kristin shook her head. "We don't _know_ these dances." Sure enough, the couples on the dance floor were doing the jive and other popular dance moves of the time period.

Nathan shrugged. "It doesn't look that hard. Besides, I'm sure Jack and Sylvia will help us. And you need to blow off a little steam and have fun. What do you say?"

Kristin thought for a moment as she watched the couples on the dance floor. They did look like they were having fun, but this wasn't like the dancing at the party on their first night. That was ballroom dancing; the waltz never changed. This was a bit more complicated. Still, it did look like fun, and she desperately needed that. And she knew Nathan was right. Even though Sylvia had been absent, as far as she knew, she could still feel her presence. She turned to him and nodded.

Nathan gave her a huge grin. He'd hoped she'd say yes. He grabbed her hand and pulled her out onto the dance floor. Once on the dance floor, it was as if the two of them had been doing these types of dances their whole lives. And it wasn't long before everything else seemed to melt away. There was no worry, no despair. It was just the two of them. Nathan could hear Kristin's joyful laughter, and he found himself laughing as well. They danced through several songs until they were both breathless.

Nathan led her outside so they could catch their breath and cool off.

"I…think…our…food…is…probably…ready," Nathan said through pants of air.

Kristin nodded as she tried to catch her breath as well. "That…was…terribly…fun."

Nathan grinned. He'd finally caught his breath. "I thought you'd enjoy it."

"It certainly helped me forget about things," she admitted, "at least for a little while."

"I'm not finished yet," Nathan told her. "Tired?"

"Not yet."

"Good…race you." And Nathan took off like a shot back up the street to the restaurant.

"Hey!" Kristin shouted, running after him. It wasn't long, however, before she caught up to him and passed him.

"You'll have to run faster," she called as she passed.

A few moments later, they reached the front of the restaurant; Kristin was first, but Nathan wasn't too far behind.

"I…won," she teased, trying to catch her breath once again. She wore a huge smile on her face, though.

Nathan nodded as he was trying to catch his breath as well.

A few moments later, the two of them were able to breathe normally again. They both went inside, paid for their food, and left again.

"So, now what do you have planned?" Kristin asked.

"You'll see," Nathan replied. Carrying the bag of food in one hand, he put his other hand in hers and led her behind the restaurant towards the beach. "I thought it would be lovely to have a little moonlight picnic."

The moon was bright and full, and the water reflected it so that it looked like a picture out of a book. The night was warm and comfortable. Nathan led her toward the docks. He sat first and then helped Kristin sit as well. They began eating; they had both worked up an appetite, so they ate in silence until they were both nearly full.

Finally, Kristin said, "I have to hand it to you; this was an excellent idea you had."

"So you're feeling better…about everything?" Nathan asked hopefully.

Kristin sighed. "I'm feeling better for the time being. I'm trying not to think about things. Logically, I know everything could turn out just fine. And I hope it does. But I just _don't_ know, and that scares me."

Nathan put an arm around her. "I guess I can live with that. At least you're feeling better, so I succeeded."

"And I appreciate it…very much. It looks like you planned this all day…the dinner…the dancing…the race…eating out here under the stars. But I know full well this was all spur of the moment."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "Was it?"

"Wasn't it?" Kristin asked in surprise.

"Well, I might have had a little help from Jack," he admitted.

She smiled. "Well, remind me to thank him then." She moved the now empty takeout container to the other side of her and scooted closer to him. She laid her head against his chest.

"He says you're welcome," Nathan whispered, placing a kiss to her temple.

Kristin looked up at him, and the two of them shared a short but sweet kiss. Then, Kristin snuggled in closer to him and sighed happily. The two of them stayed that way for a long time, watching the moon, the stars, and the gently lapping waves.

But after a while, Nathan finally said, "I think we need to get home before I fall asleep."

"Okay," Kristin whispered softly. She allowed Nathan to help her up, and the two walked hand in hand back toward the car.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The ride back to Nathan's apartment was much more relaxing and quiet. Kristin had snuggled up next to him while he drove. Neither of them spoke, but it was an intimate moment that the two of them needed.

Once they reached the apartment, the two walked inside.

"Uh, sleeping arrangements," Nathan began awkwardly.

"Nathan, we've slept in the same bed nearly every night since we've been here. I don't see why anything should change now. Besides, I don't want to be alone." She picked up her bag and headed into the bathroom. "I'm going to change."

Nathan couldn't argue with her. Had they been on _seaQuest_ , neither of them would have been so bold about their relationship. Besides, this wasn't about sex. This was about intimacy. And it was a fact that somehow, their relationship had reached a more intimate level. Nathan headed into the bedroom to change into his pajamas as well.

Not long after, Kristin emerged from the bathroom in her white nightgown; she and Nathan climbed into bed. Kristin snuggled up against him and Nathan put his arm around her. Nathan placed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Sleep well, Kristin."

"You too, Nathan. Thank you for a lovely evening," Kristin whispered.

And it wasn't long before the two of them fell into a blissful sleep. And for that moment, it seemed as though everything was perfect.


	18. Fell Apart

**December 3, 1941**

Senator Richard Mayfield awoke feeling refreshed. He'd had a long night to think things through. And after much deliberation, he decided upon his first plan of action. He needed to meet with the admiral, and after explaining his concerns to him, he was sure the admiral would see it his way. He washed and dressed, and just as he was eating a quick breakfast, his phone rang.

He was surprised to hear the voice of Admiral Beatty's secretary, Mildred, on the other end. "Good morning, Senator," she greeted cheerfully. "I know it's early; I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"No, not at all," Richard replied, putting on the charm. "Actually, I was going to come by and see you. I wanted to know if I might be able to meet with the admiral today."

She chuckled softly. "Well, the admiral had asked me to contact you for the very same reason. He wanted to know if you could come to the base as soon as possible actually."

"Of course…why the urgency?"

"I honestly don't know," she answered. "I'll tell him you can be expected. See you soon."

"Thank you, Mildred. Bye."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Good morning," Nathan whispered softly into Kristin's ear. He hated to wake her, since she looked so peaceful, but they had to get up and get to work. They had a long day ahead of them.

Kristin stirred and looked at him sleepily. "Hi," she muttered, trying to sound chipper.

"How did you sleep?"

Kristin stretched and let out a yawn. "Wonderfully, thank you; I almost hate to get out of bed."

"I know," Nathan agreed. "I slept very well myself, but we have a long day ahead of us. Tell you what? You take the bathroom first, and I'll make us some breakfast."

Kristin opened her mouth to protest, but Nathan noticed. He placed a quick kiss to her lips. "Don't argue, okay?"

Kristin smiled softly at the gesture. "I won't be long," she promised.

Twenty minutes later, Kristin entered the kitchen, dressed in a light blue skirt, white blouse, and heels, her hair and makeup done to perfection. And she smelled heavenly, Nathan thought. The familiar scent of her perfume entered his nostrils.

She noticed him watching her and smiled at him. "Something smells delicious," she commented, looking over his shoulder at whatever he was cooking.

"That it does," he replied, his eyes lingering on her.

She blushed and quickly changed the subject, "Um, French toast and sausage." She motioned to the pans on the stove. "Why don't you let me finish up here so you can get ready as well?"

Nathan started to shake his head, but Kristin continued, "Please, I don't want to eat alone."

He couldn't say no to her, and she knew that. "Very well. Thank you."

"You're very welcome; hurry up now," she said.

He gave her a mock salute before leaving the room, and she laughed softly.

Another fifteen minutes later, and they were both seated across from one another, enjoying breakfast together.

Nathan, however, noticed that the woman across from him had suddenly become more quiet and reserved. And he couldn't help but notice how she picked at her food, not really making much of an attempt to eat. He knew it was likely the upcoming events of the day causing her to worry, but she wouldn't say. In an attempt to get her to open up to him, he finally asked, "What's the matter? Don't you like the food?"

"Oh, yes," she answered a bit too quickly, taking a bite for effect. "It's delicious," she assured him after swallowing.

Nathan eyed her suspiciously. She averted her gaze and pushed a piece of sausage around her plate. "It's just that I can't help but notice that you seem…distracted."

She suddenly stopped toying with the piece of sausage and dropped her fork and knife onto the plate. She looked dismayed that she'd been so transparent, but still refused to meet his gaze.

"You don't need to keep doing that," Nathan continued gently. "You don't need to handle this all on your own. You can talk to me, you know." His tone became progressively desperate. "Kristin, please…"

"Nathan, I…" She finally met his gaze, and instantly regretted it. She stood and turned away from him, finding it easier to collect her thoughts. "I am so…grateful for you…for your help. But do you already know the problem. And I don't want to burden you…or anyone else." She turned back to him, but made to attempt to move. "And tell me, do you honestly _want_ to hear me talking about it every two seconds?"

Nathan stood and moved to her side. "I think you already know the answer to that," he answered quietly. "And in case you're not sure, of course I do. From the moment we've met, I've cared about you. I care about what happens to you, just like everyone else on my crew. I don't like you shutting me out." He brought a hand just under her chin and lifted up slightly so she'd look at him. "I'm not going to force you, but you needn't wonder if I want to hear about your thoughts, your concerns. We've all told you that you could confide in us, and I don't think anyone was lying, do you?"

She shrugged. "Well, no…I just…"

Nathan simply wrapped her in his arms. He knew she was worried. He actually couldn't imagine how she could even attempt to function not knowing what could happen. _He_ almost couldn't function. He had to force himself to believe Joshua would find something…anything that would prove that Kristin was not to meet her demise in this time period. But he never told her his fears aloud. He knew she needed his comfort. "You just need to trust Joshua right now."

She nodded against his chest and let out a small sob. "I'm sorry," she muttered quietly. "I just-it's hard to be confident…"

"Sshh," Nathan said. "You don't need to explain."

The two of them cleared their plates and headed to Nathan's car. Nathan was right, Kristin knew. She did her best to forget about Sylvia's death for the time being and forced a smile. She scooted over next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. Nathan put his free arm around her shoulders as he drove, and he was glad she at least allowed him to offer her some physical comfort, even if she wouldn't talk.

A short time later, they arrived on the base. Nathan walked with Kristin to her office. Once inside, Nathan took her in his arms once again. "Just try not to worry for the moment. I'll see you at lunch, okay?"

She nodded and gave him a kiss on the cheek. With that, Nathan left, disappearing around the corner. She took a few deep breaths and did her best to relax.

A moment later, Katie knocked on her door frame. "Morning, Doc," she greeted with a smile. She handed her a file folder. "Got a patient in room one for you…and more after that. Looks like it'll be a busy day."

Kristin returned her smile. That was just what she needed; a busy day to keep her mind occupied.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Hello, Mildred," Richard greeted once he arrived at the admiral's office.

She offered him a smile. "Ah, Senator; just let me inform them that you're here."

"Them?" Richard questioned in surprise. He couldn't possibly fathom who 'them' was referring to, and Mildred gave no clarification. However, he guessed it may have something to do with more funding, which he could use to his advantage.

A minute later, Mildred returned. "You may go back to the conference room. You know where it is."

Richard gave her a nod. "Thank you."

He walked to the conference room and knocked on the door. He heard the Admiral's voice say, "Come in."

Richard did so, but was surprised when he opened the door. Not only was Admiral Beatty inside, but also Secretary Frank Knox. "Oh, hello…" Richard greeted, somewhat unsure of what was going on.

"Have a seat, Senator." Admiral Beatty motioned towards one of the chairs.

As Richard sat, the secretary spoke, "We just have some things we'd like to discuss with you."

"That's good," Richard replied, "I've a few things I'd like to discuss with you as well." He relaxed a bit more, deciding this was indeed something war related.

"Well, then, why don't you go first?" the secretary suggested, his tone forcefully pleasant, something Richard didn't pick up on.

"Well, I was wondering if I might make a suggestion then. Since I have basically funded the _Nautilus_ in every way possible, I'd like a say in the plans as well. We all know an attack is imminent; we've talked about it many times before. So I think we ought to send the _Nautilus_ and its crew off to the Philippines. Don't you?"

The admiral and the secretary exchanged glances, grim looks upon their faces. The secretary gave the admiral a nod, and the admiral turned and walked to a table in the corner of the room to retrieve something Richard couldn't quite make out. As he neared him, however, he could see it was a newspaper. The admiral threw it on the table in front of him.

Richard looked down at the front page. There was a picture of him and Sylvia, one that was taken upon their arrival in Oahu just a few days earlier. The headline read: _Senator Mayfield Headed For Divorce_. He looked to the admiral, then to the secretary.

"I think we have bigger problems on our hands, Senator. You want to explain yourself?" Secretary Knox did not sound very happy.

"How did…I didn't realize it would hit the papers so fast," Richard muttered sheepishly. But he quickly composed himself, clearing his throat. "Um, well…I'm not proud of it, but I assure you, this will be over before we know it."

"Senator, you seem to think I give a damn about your failed marriage," the secretary replied. "In short, I don't. What I do care about is how much she _knows_."

"Knows, sir?"

The secretary rolled his eyes. "Senator Mayfield, you're a smart man. Don't play dumb with me now. We both know you're not exactly squeaky clean. Certainly, your wife must have seen things, heard things. She must know about our dealings. Now that your marriage has crumbled, I need to be assured she's not going to blab anything to anyone. You understand?"

"Sir, I assure you, she knows nothing. I keep all my business dealings separate. And I've never told her anything about them."

The secretary raised an eyebrow, again exchanging a glance with the admiral. The admiral spoke up, his tone a bit gentler than the secretary's, "Richard, I warned you about this. I know I often looked the other way, but we all saw how you treated her. You know you're at fault."

Richard said nothing.

"But the fact of the matter is, she may have seen and heard things; she just never said so."

The secretary broke in again, quite angered over the situation, "You need to fix this. If you can't fix your marriage, you make sure she keeps her mouth shut."

"And how am I supposed to do that if she won't talk to me?" Richard yelled. He hadn't meant to be so rude to the secretary, but he wasn't making it very easy.

"She's _your_ wife, Senator. Let me just say this. If you can't fix this, I'll do it _for_ you," he said with an ominous tone. "It wouldn't be the first time," he added.

Richard wasn't exactly positive what he meant, but he had a few guesses. "I'll fix it, I promise."

"You'd better." The secretary stood. "We'll meet again tomorrow. I expect more promising news." With that, he left the room.

Once he was gone, Richard turned to the admiral. "Just what does he mean by that?"

The admiral spoke in a hushed voice. "What do you think it means, Richard?"

"So I need to reconcile with Sylvia?"

"You need to do whatever it takes. If she happens to say the wrong thing to the wrong person, all of our careers will be ruined, and you know that."

"I'm not even sure I can get close to her. She's practically attached at the hip to that Captain Remington now, and he watches her like a hawk," Richard replied angrily.

"And you blame him?" the admiral asked. "Richard, I told you a year ago to watch what you do with her. Now, I never intervened more than that, and I blame myself. But I have to admit that even I think you made a huge mistake. Now, you fix this or all our heads will be served on a platter, got it?"

"Yes, sir," Richard muttered through gritted teeth.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin had a busy morning seeing patients. She looked at the clock; it was nearly 11:30. Kristin couldn't believe how fast the morning had gone. But it had kept her mind off of Sylvia for the time being, and she was glad of that. She looked at the patient she'd been examining, a sprained ankle. She finished bandaging it and said, "Okay, Mr. Harrison, you stay off your leg as much as possible and we'll want to see you again in about ten days."

The young soldier gave her a grateful smile. "Thanks, Doc. Wait'll I tell the guys a _lady_ doctor fixed me up." With that, he limped out of the examining room.

Kristin chuckled softly at his comment but was no longer surprised by it. She was used to it by now. She wrote something down on the chart in her hand and was about to go hand it off to one of the nurses when Katie entered the room.

"Dr. Mayfield, do you have time for one more patient before lunch?"

Kristin thought for a moment. "What is it?"

"Just a routine exam; shouldn't take long."

Kristin gave her a nod. "Very well; should be a piece of cake."

Katie smiled at her comment. "I'm glad to see you're feeling better by the way."

Kristin sighed. She wasn't really feeling better; it was more like she was pretending to feel better, going through the motions so to speak. But she returned her smile nonetheless. "Well, working keeps my mind occupied. And the captain has been a godsend."

Katie reached over and put an arm around her shoulders. "Well, I'm glad you're confiding in someone."

"Sorry," Kristin muttered, suddenly feeling guilty.

"Oh, I didn't mean it that way. I meant…well, I'm glad you have someone period. It's just you know we all care about you…and the general consensus is that if someone were to take care of you, help you…well, we're all glad it's him."

Kristin raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realize I was the topic of conversation."

Katie shrugged. "Well, lately, you kind of are." She gave her a small peck on the cheek. "It's only because we care about you. Um, well, I should get back to work. Exam room three, Doctor." She handed her a file, then quickly exited the room.

Kristin sighed; she knew Katie meant well, but she longed for the days when she didn't seem so interesting to talk about. She wondered if she'd ever see them again, but she quickly shook the thought from her mind. She opened the file folder and glanced at the name, Lieutenant Charles Grace. She closed the file and tucked it under her arm and headed to the third exam room.

She knocked on the door, then opened it. The privacy curtain was drawn, but Kristin thought nothing of it. She tried to sound cheery. "Good morning, Lieutenant." She drew the curtain back and stepped inside. However, she barely glanced at the man sitting on the examination table. Instead she began to take out some tools she'd need, her back to turned to him. "I'm Dr. Mayfield, and I'll be performing your exam today."

"Hello, Sylvia."

Kristin suddenly stopped what she was doing, instantly recognizing the voice. She instantly froze as fear shot through her. She accidentally dropped the otoscope in her hand, and it fell to the floor with a clatter. She felt her heartbeat quicken. In fact, it started beating so loudly, she was sure he could hear it too. She heard him get up, come towards her. He touched her shoulder, and she jumped, instinctively backed away.

He held his hands up. "Sshh, don't be scared," Richard told her. "I just want to talk, that's all."

Kristin started for the door, but Richard sensed this. He moved quickly and blocked her way. "Please, just hear me out," he begged.

"Why should I?" She did her best to sound confident, sound angry, but she could hear her voice trembling. She knew he heard it too.

"Look, you have every right to be angry at me. I'm angry at me. I know I made a lot of mistakes…but, Sylvia…divorce? Is that really necessary?" He held the newspaper in front of her. "Have you seen this? Is this the kind of publicity you want?"

She took the paper from him and scanned the story over very quickly. Reggie had warned her about this; she knew it was a possibility. Still, she realized she didn't care, not as much as Richard did anyway. "I suspect this has more to do with you than it does with me," she replied after reading.

"Listen, Sylvia," Richard began.

"No, you listen, _Richard_ ," Kristin replied with a new-found confidence. She surprised herself since she wasn't sure where it had come from. "I don't want to stay married to you; I don't want to reconcile. You've mistreated me long enough, and I can't take it anymore. I am in love with the man you used to be, but that man is long gone. And you know it as much as I do. I'm not sure how you got in here, but I suggest you leave before-"

"Before what? Before your captain comes and finds me?" Richard spat, now furious. "It was his idea, wasn't it?"

"You leave him out of this; he has nothing do with this at all. This marriage is crumbling because of your actions, not because of him," Kristin shouted back.

Richard felt so much anger, he nearly snapped. He raised his hand, ready to strike when he suddenly realized his mission, the reason he needed to speak with her in the first place. It took everything in his power to maintain composure; he lowered his hand. "Fine," he said through gritted teeth. "But then we need to talk."

"We have nothing to talk about."

He suddenly grabbed her wrists and pushed her up against the wall. He hadn't meant to be so forceful. He hadn't intended to lose his anger at all. He told himself he wasn't, but he was always so angry when he was with her. He honestly wasn't sure why. She let out a soft cry as he spoke to her. "You need to listen to me," he told her in a firm but lowered voice. "Just keep your mouth shut for one minute. I need to know what you know."

"A…about what?" Kristin asked as she struggled against him, her voice strained with the pain he was inflicting.

Richard lowered his voice even more. "About my business dealings."

"N-nothing…I swear, I don't know anything," she answered, desperate for him to let her free. "Richard, please…you're hurting me."

Richard wouldn't loosen his grip, however. "You think I can't tell when you're lying?" His attempt to control his anger was futile. He squeezed her even tighter, causing her to let out another cry of pain. "You tell me what you know, or I arrange for your captain to go away. And I can do it too. Don't tempt me."

Kristin was near tears. "I…I…saw…a letter," she stammered through gasps of pain. "Th-that's all. Why?"

"A letter from Knox?" he questioned, loosening his grip slightly.

She nodded, giving him a questioning look.

"Did you tell anyone else?"

Kristin didn't answer.

He tightened his grip and pushed her against the wall. "Did you tell anyone else?" he yelled.

Kristin cried out in pain as her tears finally broke free. She nodded, too afraid to speak.

"Damn it," Richard screamed, no longer being careful about keeping his voice lowered. "How could you be so stupid? Huh? How could you be so stupid?"

Kristin couldn't do anything but sob uncontrollably, no longer attempting to break free. She felt it was futile, and she felt at a loss of what to do next.

Suddenly, the door burst open; someone had heard the commotion, thank goodness. Kristin felt it was like a blur as Joshua, Katie, Nathan, and two burly-looking soldiers rushed in.

Richard was pulled off of her, and she felt strong arms encircle her. She honestly didn't even know who she clung to at first. She simply sobbed into his or her shoulder. It didn't take her long to realize it was Nathan, however.

Nathan whispered soft words of comfort to her in an attempt to get her to stop crying. "You're safe now; you're safe."

Kristin then felt a soft hand on her shoulder. "We don't even know how he got in here." It was Katie's sympathetic voice. "I'm sorry, Doc."

As the soldiers helped apprehend the senator, Joshua said, "Take him to security. I'm sure the admiral will be hearing about this."

"Wait," Richard objected. "Sylvia, please…you can't tell anyone else anything. Do you understand?"

Joshua waved a hand, and the senator was dragged away.

But he could still be heard yelling, "Sylvia, you need to be careful. Just please, keep your mouth shut!"


	19. And Broke Each Other's Hearts

Nathan waited until the senator's yelling could no longer be heard. He couldn't possibly fathom exactly what he'd meant by, "Keep your mouth shut." He felt Kristin trembling against him, but her tears had quieted. "Are you all right?" he finally asked her.

Kristin pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. "I…I'm fine," she said shakily.

"What in the world did he mean?" Katie said, unable to hold back her curiosity.

Kristin had almost forgotten she and Joshua were still in the room. The last several moments had been a bit of a blur. She hesitated, but then noticed the expectant looks her friends gave her. "Um…"

Nathan could see she was having difficulty. Was it that she was afraid to say or that she really didn't know? He wasn't sure, but he didn't want to push her into anything. "Maybe we could talk about that later?" he suggested.

But Kristin shook her head. "No…it's fine." She took a deep breath. "He asked me if I had seen anything about his…business dealing," she said quietly, looking down at her hands. "And…I…I told him about the letter from the secretary. He demanded to know if I'd told anyone about it." She looked at Nathan. "I…I had to tell him the truth. It seemed futile to lie."

Nathan put an arm of support around her shoulders. "It's okay," he whispered to her.

"But it's almost as though he was trying to warn me of something. That's what he meant…not to tell anyone anything else." She then turned to Nathan. "You didn't tell anyone else, did you? About the letter?"

"I haven't gotten a chance to," Nathan replied.

"Well, don't," Kristin said gently. "Not until we find out more."

"What letter?" Katie finally asked.

"Oh…I'm sorry. I'd forgotten you didn't know," Kristin answered, instantly regretting the fact she'd said anything at all. "Um…well…"

But Nathan interrupted her, knowing she wasn't quite ready to divulge all the details of Sylvia's life. "We'll be having another staff meeting very soon. I think the doctor would like to wait until then to explain?" He looked at Kristin.

"If that's all right?" she asked Katie.

Katie nodded, giving Kristin an encouraging smile. "Of course." She gave Kristin a quick hug. "Well, I need to get back to work. Um, see you later?"

"Actually," Joshua broke in, "under the circumstances, I think that it's best she take the rest of the day off."

Kristin nodded. "I don't think I'm going to argue."

"Well, I'll see you then," Katie told her. She placed a hand on her shoulder. "I really am sorry." With that, she left the room.

"Why don't you let me look at those wrists?" Joshua said once Katie had gone.

Kristin allowed him to check them over, even though she was sure they were just bruised. They were tender, but not broken. She winced slightly as Joshua touched one of the marks Richard's hand had made.

"Sorry," Joshua muttered. "I'd say they're probably sprained. Do you want me to bandage them?"

She shook her head. "I'll be fine," she insisted for about the millionth time since they'd arrived in this time period.

"Very well. As far as this evening, if you'd like to postpone-" Joshua began.

"No," Kristin protested. "I can't keep putting off not knowing. Perhaps Sylvia can explain about this letter business as well?"

Joshua nodded. "Then I'll see you after work at the captain's apartment." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "And I say this as both your doctor and your friend; get some rest before then, okay?"

"I'll make sure of that," Nathan promised.

Joshua gave them both a nod, then left the room as well.

"Are you really all right?" Nathan asked.

"If I said yes, would you believe me?" Kristin replied. "You know as well as I do that if I keep pondering on all the bad things, I'll go mad. Just take me home, please?"

Nathan put his arms around her, giving her a gentle squeeze. "But I might not be able to stay with you. Would you mind a substitute?"

Kristin sighed. She hadn't thought of that. Of course, he couldn't keep making excuses to stay with her, she knew. "I'm not particularly thrilled, but it will have to do."

Nathan pulled away to look at her. "I could pull some strings. I-"

"No…I can't keep asking you to stay with me."

He nodded and glanced at the clock. It was nearly noon. "Everyone should be breaking for lunch now. We'd better go see who we can find."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin didn't quite like having to ask someone to stay with her. She certainly wasn't a child who needed looking after. But she didn't want to stay alone either. As they went outside, they saw several familiar faces eating lunch together.

Nathan started to approach them, but Kristin lagged behind. She didn't want them to see her; she knew they'd ask questions, and she simply wasn't in the mood.

Nathan turned back to her. "Aren't you coming?"

"You go on ahead…please?"

Nathan didn't push her. He knew she wanted to keep some things to herself for the time being. After this evening's session, he had planned that the whole crew would be informed of whatever was going on. "I'll go see if anyone has the rest of the day off." He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

She gave him a nod and waited patiently, taking a seat on a nearby bench. She watched as Nathan approached the others. She then felt other eyes on her; she turned away, not enjoying being the center of attention.

But a few minutes later, she heard footsteps approaching. She looked up to see Nathan and Ben.

"Good news," Nathan announced. "Mr. Pierce here has the afternoon off."

Kristin looked up to see Ben's sympathetic face. She offered him a weak smile. If anyone but Nathan could stay with her, well, she had to admit Ben was her next choice. Considering he'd been so sweet to her the other day and the fact that they'd become closer in the time they'd been here, she was pleased it was him.

Ben gave her a wink. "We'll have a fun afternoon," he said.

"Um, well, I'll let you get back to your lunch. You'll meet us at my apartment?"

"Sure thing, Cap," Ben said with a salute. "See you soon, Doc."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once at the apartment, Nathan ushered Kristin to sit on the sofa. "Now how about a sandwich?" Nathan said, heading to the kitchen.

"You don't need to wait on me," she protested. "And I'm not really very hungry."

Nathan just gave her a look. "I want to eat lunch with you... please? Share a sandwich with me?"

She relented. "All right. Can I help you?" She stood and entered the kitchen. "Do you have any tomatoes?"

"In the refrigerator," Nathan answered. "You can slice them."

Kristin retrieved the tomatoes and began to wash them in the sink while Nathan sliced some lettuce. "I suppose I should say thank you for being there when I needed you," she said quietly.

"You don't need to say it. I'm just glad I was there. I only wish…" he trailed off. "I don't like having to worry about you."

Kristin began slicing the tomato on a cutting board. "And I don't _like_ you having to worry about me. You have enough things to deal with. I never intended on being an inconvenience."

"I never said you were," Nathan replied, putting down the knife and placing his hands on her shoulders. "I just want to know you're safe when I'm away from you. What happened back there…that wasn't safe. I shudder to think what might have happened if we hadn't been there."

"And you don't think I've thought the same thing?" she said, stifling a sob. "You know I don't like this situation any more than you. I just never imagined any of this. And now…I'm starting to feel like a broken woman. I'm not as strong as I used to be." Her voice shook with emotion, but she wouldn't allow her tears to fall…not yet. She felt she'd done enough of that, and crying wasn't helping anything.

"How can you say that?" Nathan was shocked. Kristin was one of the strongest women he knew.

"Have you noticed I can't seem to stop sobbing? Hell, Nathan…I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm not the same person I was a few days ago."

Nathan wrapped his arms around her. "Oh, honey…you're not broken. Lost, perhaps…I'll give you that. I think we're all lost here. I think that we're supposed to be. Think about it. This was a very unsure time for everyone because of the possibility of war. I don't think anyone had the answers, so there's no reason we should either. Sylvia didn't; Jack didn't. No one did." He paused for a moment; he felt her shoulders shaking slightly and he heard soft, sniffling sounds. He knew she was crying. He simply rubbed her back. "Sshh," he soothed. "You're not losing your strength. If anything, I think you're gaining it. I honestly don't know anyone who could deal with what you've been dealing with and continue on the way you have."

"What? Crying every two seconds and being scared all the time?" she muttered through her tears.

"No, that's not what I meant. I mean the fact that you can even function…I think that's a feat in itself. And I think when all is said and done, there will be a reason for this. You told me you believed that…that everything happens for a reason," Nathan pointed out.

She nodded. "I still do…" Her tears had quieted again. "But I can't imagine what the reason for all this might be."

"Well, you pointed out one thing. You're not the same person you were a few days ago. Neither am I. I'm not sure any of us is, but that might be the point. I think we're supposed to evolve…for the better," Nathan told her.

"Perhaps…" Kristin said thoughtfully. She wasn't sure if she could believe it, but it was a lovely thought. "I guess we'll find out soon enough."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan and Kristin had a quick, but quiet lunch. They were both thinking about the upcoming evening, both having hopes and fears of what was to come. And it wasn't long before Ben knocked on the door.

When Nathan let him in, Ben gave a dramatic bow. "Your servant is here, milady." He gave Kristin a grin.

A small smile pulled at the corners of Kristin's mouth. "I'm not royalty, Ben."

He stood. "Well, I was just trying to get you to smile, and it looks like I've succeeded."

"Well, if I could have a few moments to say goodbye to the doctor," Nathan hinted.

Ben went into the other room, getting the hint.

Nathan turned to Kristin. "I think you're in good hands."

"I didn't think I wasn't. You needn't worry about me."

"I'll try not to. I'll see you in a few hours." He kissed her gently on the forehead. "Remember what Joshua said."

She nodded. "I'll be good."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"So how about a game of cards?" Ben asked once Nathan had left.

She gave him a grateful smile. "I know you're trying to distract me, keep me occupied. But I'm afraid I won't be much fun."

Ben shrugged. "That's all right. You want to talk?"

Kristin sighed. "Well, I'm _supposed_ to get some rest; doctor's orders."

Ben motioned towards the sofa. "Lie down then."

"But-"

"Lie down," he said again.

Kristin did so. "But if I fall asleep-"

"Don't worry about it." Ben sat in the armchair. "We'll just talk until you feel sleepy."

Kristin sighed. She didn't feel like talking about any of the events of the morning. Doing so would only make her feel less relaxed. "You want to know what happened?" she guessed, looking over to him from the position she was in.

"I wasn't going to pry." He gave her a soft smile. "I'm guessing you had a run-in with the senator though?" He motioned to her arm.

She glanced at her wrist. "Unfortunately, yes…but I'm all right."

"Sure you are," Ben said with a hint of sarcasm. Then he became serious. "If you don't want to-"

"There doesn't seem much point in talking about anything else," Kristin said dryly.

Ben was quiet for several minutes. Then, he asked, "What about the ring?"

"What?"

"Sylvia's ring. Are you still wearing it?"

Kristin looked at her left hand as if she needed to check. "Of course; why wouldn't I?"

"Doc…you've been married and divorced before, right?"

"Yes…" Kristin answered, not quite getting the hint.

"Did you keep wearing your wedding ring once you knew your marriage had crumbled?" Ben asked gently.

Kristin's brows knitted. "No, I didn't. But then why…"

"Was Sylvia still wearing her ring when we found her?" Ben finished. "That's what I was thinking. Maybe she and Richard reconciled before…well, you know."

Kristin sat up, no longer in the mood to lie down. "I don't think so. But it is strange…" She looked down at her hand again.

"Have you ever thought about taking it off?"

Kristin shook her head. "I…I know it's strange, but since we've found it, it's made me feel like Sylvia is with me somehow. I know it's not as if her soul can be trapped inside an object. But it's the only piece of her I have. Unless she tells me to remove it, I don't plan on it. I suppose that sounds silly…"

"No, it doesn't sound silly," Ben replied. "I understand. But it still doesn't answer why Sylvia herself was wearing the ring when she died."

"I guess that's something we'll find out in due time," Kristin replied.


	20. Remember When?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sylvia's dialogue in the hypnosis scene will be in italics to differentiate it from that of Kristin.

Since she didn't feel like lying down anymore, Ben finally talked her into a game of cards; more like _several_ games of cards.

Yet one hour and a half later, Ben called out triumphantly, "Gin!" for about the fifth time. "I think you're slipping, Doc. I've won the last few hands."

Kristin nodded, trying to stifle a yawn. "Yes, well, I'm starting to get a little sleepy," she admitted. "It's hard to stay focused on the game."

Ben started collecting the cards to shuffle them. "Then you should lie down; take a nap. You _did_ say that Dr. Levin ordered you to rest."

She shook her head. "But then you'll be all alone, and it's only two thirty." She yawned again. "You've been so sweet to keep me company; I don't want to be rude."

Ben waved a hand. "Nonsense. Besides, I've been meaning to brush up on my Solitaire skills." He flashed her a grin. "Go take a nap. I'll be here when you wake up."

Kristin opened her mouth to protest, but changed her mind. She stood and placed a kiss to his cheek. "Just a short one, I promise."

"No worries; sweet dreams," he called as he began laying out the cards to play Solitaire.

Kristin went into the bedroom to lie down, and it wasn't long before she was fast asleep.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin didn't know how long she'd slept when she heard voices. It took her a moment to realize they were the voices of Nathan, Joshua, and Lucas.

"Just tell her I said I'll see her tomorrow," she heard Ben say. "I don't want to wake her."

Kristin forced herself out of bed; she stood in the doorway of the bedroom. "I'm awake," she muttered, trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes. She looked at Ben. "You're not getting out of here so easily." She wrapped her arms around him. "Thanks…for everything," she whispered, kissing him on the cheek.

"It was no trouble at all, Doc. Glad you got some rest. See you tomorrow?"

She nodded. "Tomorrow," she said as she broke the hug.

Ben then said goodbye to the others and left.

Kristin turned to the others. "Sorry for sleeping so late. I must look a fright." She brought her hand to her hair, knowing it was mussed. She tried to smooth it.

"It's no worry," Joshua told her. "Um, if you want a few moments to relax, however, feel free. Lucas and I need to set up anyway."

"Set up?" Kristin asked.

Lucas, who had been standing behind Joshua, held up a very primitive-looking recorder. "The technology of the 1940's," he said jokingly. "It's not the vocoder, but it's pretty high-tech…at least for _this_ time period. Steel wire magnetic; _very_ cool." He was trying to be enthusiastic, but Kristin could tell he was over-exaggerating.

"Let's go over here," Joshua instructed, and he and Lucas moved by the sofa, talking about the upcoming hypnosis.

"Well, I'm glad you got some rest," Nathan said once they had some privacy. "Ben said you had a relaxing afternoon?"

She nodded. "Much better than the morning," she assured him. "I wasn't even planning on sleeping this late." She looked at the clock. It was after five now.

Nathan waved a hand. "You obviously needed the rest. And don't worry; when we're finished, we can go out for dinner. Or I'll cook for you…whatever you want."

Kristin gave him a gentle smile. She honestly wasn't even thinking of eating, but it was sweet that Nathan was already offering to cook for her. "We'll just play it by ear."

"So, are you ready for this?"

She shrugged. "I honestly haven't had much time to think about it."

Finally, Joshua looked up. "We're ready when you are."

Kristin looked at Nathan, who placed a gentle hand on her arm. "Just remember, we're all here with you."

Kristin gave him a nod and then turned to Joshua. "What if I'm one of those people who can't be hypnotized?" she asked worriedly.

Joshua gave her a reassuring smile. "Would it make you feel better if I told you I've never met one of those people?" Then, he became serious. "Really, it's more of an old wives' tale that certain people cannot be hypnotized. Everyone can. It's just that some people can go into deeper hypnosis than others. But this is nothing you need to worry about. That's my worry. All you need to do is relax. And worrying won't help you there." He motioned her over to him. "Have a seat."

Kristin hesitated for a moment, but did as she was told.

Joshua then knelt before her and held his hands out. "This is going to help you relax. Put your hands in mine."

Again, Kristin did as she was told, but she was feeling rather apprehensive about the whole mess now.

"I can feel how tense you are," Joshua noted.

"I'm sorry; I-"

"Sshh," he said gently. "Close your eyes."

She looked to Nathan, then to Joshua.

"Close your eyes," he said again.

Kristin took a deep breath and did so.

"Now, I want you to think about all your troubles right now. Don't tell me what they are; simply think about them. Try to list them off in your head."

Kristin did so. She started listing them off in her mind as Joshua had said. _Number one, this time period. Number two, Richard Mayfield. Number three, the death of Sylvia and not knowing if I will die here. Number four, how the rest of the crew is being affected with all this Sylvia drama. Number five, getting back home._

"Now, I want you to visualize a box. It can be any type you wish," Joshua instructed. "Can you see it?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Good. Now visually take all your worries and pour them all into that box. Let me know when you've done that."

"Okay," Kristin answered a few moments later.

"Excellent," Joshua encouraged. "Now, take that box and seal it up."

"All right."

"Now, visualize that you're passing me that box."

"Okay," Kristin said.

"Now, how do you feel?" Joshua asked.

"Better." And she wasn't lying. She suddenly felt as though a weight had been lifted off of her.

"From now on, you give me all your troubles. I'll take care of them for you. You just relax, got it?"

"Got it," she answered.

"Good…now, I want you to concentrate on your breathing," Joshua continued.

Kristin did all the visualization exercises Joshua suggested. He had her envision that she was walking along the beach in blissful solitude. She had no worries, no cause for concern. And then, she was to lie down on the warm sand, listening to the gently lapping waves. And it wasn't long before everything went dark as she relaxed completely and succumbed to hypnosis.

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"Is she all right?" Nathan asked with sincere concern. He'd just seen Kristin go completely limp, and he hadn't anticipated how frightening it would look.

"She's perfectly fine," Joshua assured him. "Just _very_ relaxed. I had a hunch, and I was right."

Nathan gave him a questioning look.

"You know how we talked about how she might be more receptive to the spirits? Well, I was also hoping that same quality would carry over to hypnosis, and it did."

Nathan nodded. "Well, that's good." He was trying to be enthusiastic, but he suddenly realized he didn't like this…not one bit. All he could do was sit back and be a witness while Joshua continued; but Nathan was worried, and he wasn't sure why just yet.

Kristin was lying on the sofa, her head back, one arm hanging at her side nearly touching the floor; her other arm lay over her stomach. Nathan could see the gentle rise and fall of her chest, indicating she was breathing. That was a good sign; he still couldn't help but worry. He carefully approached her and moved the arm that was hanging and placed it in what he thought was a more comfortable position, placing it on her side. When he'd touch her wrist, he felt her faint pulse, another good sign. He stayed there for a moment, her hand in his. But he then felt Joshua's hand on his shoulder. He motioned for him to sit in the armchair a few feet away.

When Nathan hesitated, Joshua said, "She's fine; I promise you."

Nathan nodded and cast a sheepish look towards Lucas, who was watching intently. He went and sat back down, doing his best to put all his trust in Joshua. But it was difficult.

Joshua turned back to Kristin. "Can you still hear me?"

"Yes…" Kristin replied, sounding as though she was very sleepy.

"Good…you keep lying on that beach, okay?"

"Hmmm…" Kristin muttered. "The sun is so warm."

"I want you to be quiet now, if you can," Joshua continued. "I want to see if I can talk to your friend, Sylvia, okay?"

"Okay…" Kristin replied.

Joshua waited a few moments. He turned to Lucas to be sure he had the recorder set and had enough wire going through it. Lucas gave him a nod. Then, Joshua turned to Nathan and gave him a wink. Then, he took a deep breath and turned back to Kristin's limp body. "Sylvia, are you there? I was wondering if we could talk to you. Please, this is very important, so-"

" _I'm here."_ Kristin was speaking, as per the usual when they encountered Sylvia. However, for the first time, there was a distinct difference for it was not the throaty, husky voice of Kristin Westphalen. Her voice was altered; it was higher, and it sounded completely different.

"Sylvia?" Joshua said, just to be sure.

" _Yes."_

"Would you be willing to answer some questions for us?"

" _It depends on the questions. I'll do my best."_

"Who are you exactly? Yes, we know your name is Sylvia Mayfield, but do you have any sort of…connection to Kristin?"

Sylvia laughed softly. _"You could say that. You see, I was her…in a past life."_

"So my theory was correct?" Joshua said, knowing it needed no answer. "Um, do you know how you died?"

Nathan scoffed. "You're going into that already?" He wasn't sure what he expected, but he just thought there would be a few more formalities before going into the gritty details of her murder.

Joshua approached him and whispered, "I notice you're suddenly resisting this session."

"No, not at all. I just-"

"Look, I know you're worried about Kristin. And you don't think I _am_?"

Nathan didn't answer.

"If this is going to work, I need your complete cooperation…and your _silence_. Please, just trust me," Joshua pleaded gently.

Nathan gave him a nod. "Sorry; I'll be quiet."

"Thanks," Joshua replied, approaching the sofa once again. "Now, Sylvia, do you remember how you died?"

 _Silence_. The woman on the sofa hesitated. " _I know I_ _ **am**_ _dead…"_ she said slowly.

"Okay…good," Joshua commented. "But do you remember how?"

" _I…I was murdered_."

"Sylvia, can you go back to that day?" Joshua pressed. "In your mind, go back…tell me what you see."

" _It's morning. I'm with Jack in his apartment_ ," she began.

"Later in the day," Joshua prompted. "An hour before. What were you doing then? Who were you with? What happened?"

 _More hesitation_. " _I…well…_ "

"Sylvia, please…you know why I am asking you, don't you?"

" _Because of Kristin, I know_."

"Then you know how important it is that you tell us," Joshua urged. "Now go back to that day…one hour before your death. Tell me everything."

There was a long pause. But finally, Sylvia spoke. " _It's late…maybe about eight o'clock. Jack had to go back to the base; the admiral called him for an emergency meeting. It's classified, so Jack can't tell me what it's about. I had to stay behind, of course. Jack gave me a kiss, told me he loved me. He told me he'd be back soon and to get some rest. I did lie down, but then I got a phone call."_

"Who called you?"

" _Richard…he asked me; no, he_ _ **begged**_ _me to meet him at the vacation home. He promised he'd sign the papers if he could just talk to me. He promised he would be good, that he wouldn't hurt me_."

"And you believed him?"

" _I know Richard is a very…intense person. But he has his good points, although he hasn't shown me those points for a very long time…"_ She paused for a moment. _"I very much_ _ **wanted**_ _to believe him_." She sighed. " _I needed those papers signed, and it seemed like a good idea at the time_ … _I've since changed my mind about that, however_."

"What happened?"

" _I left Jack a note, and I called a cab. I didn't think I'd be gone very long_."

"Go on," Joshua urged.

" _Richard signed the papers like he had promised. He gave them to me. We had a small chat. He apologized…for everything…and we hugged. We said goodbye. And that was it."_

"That was it?"

" _Between Richard and I, yes_ ," she confirmed. " _Richard offered me a ride back, but I declined. I used the phone and called a cab. Richard actually had to attend a meeting on the base as well…the same one as Jack, I assumed. I told him it was perfectly all right, that I would just wait outside for the cab to arrive."_

"And he left?"

" _I saw that he hesitated for a moment, almost as if he wasn't sure he should leave me alone. But he couldn't really wait, so, yes, he left_."

"So Richard _isn't_ responsible for your death?"

There was another long pause of hesitation. " _I…I can't remember_."

"But yet, you said Richard left. You saw him leave?"

" _I saw him leave in his car, yes_ ," she confirmed. " _But after that, things get…hazy_."

"Sylvia, you have to try," Joshua urged. "We need to know if Kristin will be safe."

" _I_ _ **am**_ _trying_ ," Sylvia promised. " _Just give me a moment_."

Everyone else in the room waited with baited breath for Sylvia to finally reveal the identity of the murderer. The few moments it took for her to speak once again seemed like an eternity.

" _I honestly don't remember_ ," she finally said. " _After Richard left…everything went dark. I feel…pain. Just pain_." She let out a sob. " _I'm sorry; I can't remember_."

Nathan finally stood. They'd waited so long for this moment, and he couldn't go on not knowing. "You don't remember?" He couldn't help himself from shouting. "How can you say that? Kristin's life is at stake, and you can't _remember_?"

Joshua placed a hand on Nathan's shoulder. "I thought I asked you to please sit over there and be-"

" _No_ ," Sylvia interrupted, her voice still full of emotion. " _He's right._ _ **I'm**_ _the one who brought you all here. And I know you all care about Kristin. I care about her too; we share a soul. And when she found me, found my body…well, I decided that it was her destiny to help me. So I created the vortex." She let out another soft sob. "Please, understand…all I wanted was for someone to know how I died…for someone to solve my murder so I could be laid to rest. All I want is to go home_. _And Kristin...well, I finally found someone who actually seemed to care about me."_

"So you haven't crossed over yet?" Joshua cut in.

" _No…not properly. I can't go until I'm at peace. And I can't be at peace until I know_. _I'm stuck in limbo, as they say_."

Nathan was getting impatient, however. "But what does this mean for Kristin?"

" _I…I honestly don't know. Look, had I done this before, I wouldn't have had a need to bring you all here. There's not exactly an instruction manual on the matter_."

"So, you're saying she could still _die_?" Nathan was frantic. He had assured Kristin this wasn't the case, that she couldn't possibly die here, but Sylvia wasn't contradicting that fact at all. And he didn't like what he was hearing.

" _I honestly don't know, and I am_ _ **so**_ _sorry_." She started to cry softly.

But Nathan didn't feel much sympathy for her at the moment. "But you promised her she'd be all right…that everything would be fine. Was it a lie?"

" _No,"_ she answered through her tears, her voice trembling _, "I've done everything I could to protect her so far. And I intend to do so up until the end. I just…can't guarantee what will happen in the end. Like I said, I've never done this before."_

Nathan didn't know what came over him, but he moved to the woman on the sofa, pulled her up into a sitting position. "You call letting her be hurt by that monster protecting her? You call what happened this morning protection? You haven't even been around for days. Kristin's been walking blind. We all have. And now this? You can't just let us go into this blindly! What about Kristin? I can't lose her. I just can't!" He didn't realize he was shaking her as he yelled.

Joshua immediately started to intervene. "Don't listen to him. Don't engage. Sylvia, listen to my voice only, please."

But Sylvia said, " _It's all right. He has every right to be angry_."

Nathan released her, suddenly realizing how forceful he'd been. He didn't quite expect Sylvia to speak to him.

But Sylvia continued, " _If you'll give me a chance, I can explain. All of our past lives… In the year 1620, I was Rebecca Goode; burned for being a witch; age twenty-four. In the year 1718, I was Mary Kensington; prostitute. I died of tuberculosis; age thirty. In 1833, I was Alice Hellman. I drowned at age eight. And in 1896, I was Amelia Markham. I died in childbirth at age thirty-six. In short, every one of us has died early. The choices we made led to our demise. But Kristin has the chance to change that."_

"So, we _are_ supposed to prevent your murder?" Nathan said, now a bit calmer.

" _No…nothing can be changed. I_ _ **am**_ _supposed to die. The choices I made are already set in stone, and they can't be altered. But for Kristin, there is a loophole-the fact this_ _ **isn't**_ _her current life. I cannot guarantee anything, but I'm hoping I can intervene at the right moment. If I can create a new geomagnetic storm, I can send you back just before my death. And everything_ _ **would**_ _be fine as promised."_

Nathan was silent for a moment. It seemed like a long-shot. "And if you _can't_ do that?"

 _A long moment of silence. "I_ _ **am**_ _sorry,"_ was all Sylvia could say before bursting into sobs once again.

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Joshua continued the session, but Sylvia couldn't really shed much light on her murder. She seemed to know as much as they did. He was about to end the session and bring Kristin back to reality when Nathan stopped him.

"Could I have a quick word, please? Off the record?"

Joshua gave him a nod. He turned back to Sylvia. "You just rest for now, okay?"

"Okay."

Then, Joshua followed Nathan into the bedroom.

"I wanted to apologize for what happened back there. I shouldn't have intervened like that, and I feel guilty," Nathan said.

"Don't worry about it. I know it was just because you wanted answers, and Sylvia didn't seem to mind. I'm not angry," Joshua assured him.

"Yes…well, I still feel bad."

"How are we going to tell her?" Joshua asked after a moment.

"I don't know…but I think for now, what happened here stays here. I'll speak with Lucas as well…" He paused for a moment. "I think perhaps I should be the one to break it to her…"

Joshua nodded. "I think you're right. She responds better to you."

After they'd explained to Lucas that he needed to stay tight-lipped on the matter, Joshua then told Sylvia to rest. Then, he said, "Kristin, are you still there?"

"Yes…" she replied quietly. "Still on the beach."

"Good. I want you to listen to the sound of my voice and I want you to follow it. You're waking up now. You feel refreshed and renewed. Get up off that beach and come back to us now. You're in Nathan's apartment. You're with your friends. You can open your eyes in three…two…one…now," Joshua told her.

Kristin's eyes fluttered open. For some reason, she felt very much awake and alive…refreshed even. She sat up and turned to the others, who were all staring at her intently. "How did it go?" she asked.

"Oh, it went very well," Joshua assured her. "You did wonderfully."

Kristin smiled. "So it worked? You spoke with Sylvia?"

"Yeah, we did."

"Well…don't keep me waiting. What did she say?" Kristin asked excitedly. But she couldn't help but notice the others' hesitation.

Nathan sat next to her and put his arm around her. "The news isn't as good as we'd hoped."


	21. I Can Understand

Kristin literally felt like her world was falling apart. She had put so much hope into the hypnosis session that she believed it was the key to all of their problems. For some reason, she had believed it would be like a miracle. She realized now how naïve that was of her. She was listening to Nathan tell her that Sylvia couldn't tell them much, his voice a distant echo since she was having trouble focusing. She suddenly felt dizzy.

Finally, she heard Nathan ask, "Kristin…are you all right?"

She turned to him. He was giving her an expectant look, as were the others. They also looked very sympathetic.

"Kristin?" Nathan said again.

She finally opened her mouth to speak. Indeed, she was certainly _not_ all right, and she wasn't going to pretend as if she was. She spoke quietly and deliberately, "It's a bit of a shock…"

She felt Nathan hug her a little tighter. "I know, but we'll get through this."

Joshua reached over and took her hand. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

Even Lucas tried to comfort her. He sat on the opposite side of her. "Doc, it's going to be okay, I'm sure of it."

Kristin could tell when she was being patronized. She knew they were only trying to help, but she felt a sudden flash of anger. She stood, freeing herself of their comforting hands. "I think I need some space. Excuse me." She headed into the bathroom and closed the door behind her, not being careful about it. The door shut hard, but she didn't care. She then locked it. She didn't feel like seeing anyone.

She then heard questions coming from Lucas, Nathan's apologetic and worried response, and Joshua trying to offer reassurance.

"She's just in shock. She'll come around," Joshua said.

"I know, I know," Nathan replied, sounding frustrated and worried at the same time.

"Well, I guess we'd better be going."

"Remember, not word of this to anyone," Nathan reminded.

She heard affirmative responses.

"Goodnight, kiddo."

"'Night. Tell the doc I love her."

"I will," Nathan promised.

Then, she heard Nathan bid them adieu and close the apartment door. She knew what was going to come next. She heard him approach the bathroom. He knocked gently. "Kristin?"

"I'm fine…just go away! I want to be alone!" She hadn't meant to be so rude, but she was hurt, confused, and angry. Really, she was feeling about a thousand different emotions at once. She felt fresh tears threaten to fall, but she held them back.

She heard him try the doorknob, noticed it jiggle slightly.

"Kristin, please…open the door!" Nathan's voice was desperate. He wasn't angry, just concerned.

"Just go…go away…please." She tried to stifle her sobs, but couldn't hold them back. She leaned against the wall and finally allowed the tears to fall. She heard Nathan mutter something she couldn't understand and heard his footfalls walking away from the door. She slid to the floor and sobbed uncontrollably, feeling absolutely hopeless.

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Kristin didn't know how long she'd been sobbing when she heard a familiar voice.

_Kristin?_

"Sylvia?" Kristin asked through her tears.

_Yes…please…please, don't cry._

"I…I'm not sure what else to do. I feel so…lost." Another small sob escaped her throat.

_I know, honey, I know; that's my fault, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for ignoring you as well. I was trying to decide how to rectify this. I honestly haven't figured that out. I wish I could do something more, but right now, you have to trust me._

"Trust?" Kristin said bitterly. "I did trust you, and look where it's gotten me."

Kristin heard a frustrated sigh.

_You're absolutely correct. I've gotten you into a lot of trouble. You have every right to be angry._

"I'm glad you approve."

_But don't take it out on Nathan._

"What?"

_If you're going to be angry at someone, be angry at me. But none of this is Nathan's fault. He didn't do anything to deserve the way you treated him._

"I just…" Kristin started. "I didn't mean…"

_I know. Believe me, I know exactly how you're feeling. But there is still hope. Did Nathan explain to you about my plan to create another storm?_

She shook her head. "If he did, I wasn't really listening."

_On the night of the sixth, you and Nathan will be separated. But you won't be alone. I promise you, I won't leave you. At the right moment, I'll create another storm, which should, hopefully, create another vortex. If I do everything correctly, we should be able to separate. And you'll be able to go back home, safe and sound._

Kristin was silent for a moment as she thought about what Sylvia had said. Her tears had finally quieted. She took some toilet paper and dabbed at her eyes. "But what happens if-"

_No buts. I_ _**will** _ _do it. I'm_ _**not** _ _going to let you die._

"And Nathan? Lucas? The others?"

_Will be fine_ , Sylvia finished. _Dry those eyes, okay? You have no reason to cry. You're going to have a long life, I know it._

"Really?"

_Yes,_ _**really** _ _. Now, chin up. Open that door and go to Nathan. Tell him you're sorry. You can't afford to do this alone. You need his support. You don't want to push him away now._

Kristin nodded and blew her nose. "Okay."

_Just try not to worry, okay? I'll take care of everything._

"I'll try," Kristin promised. But she then had an afterthought. "What if I-"

_Try not to worry,_ Sylvia repeated. _Now_ _ **go**_ _._

Kristin stood and smoothed out her skirt. She then walked to the sink and splashed some cool water on her face. After dabbing it dry with a towel, she looked in the mirror. Deciding she looked presentable, she walked to the door, her hand hovering above the knob. She hesitated for a moment and took a deep breath. Then, she opened it.

Part of her expected to see Nathan standing there, waiting for her. But he wasn't there. She stepped out into the hallway, looking in the direction of the living room. She couldn't see him from her vantage point, so she took a few more steps. She saw him, sitting by the window, looking rather pensive. He didn't turn to her, so she guessed he hadn't known she came out. She walked closer to him.

"Hi…" she said quietly, feeling rather awkward.

He turned to her; the look on his face was one of surprise. He just stared at her for a few minutes as if trying to determine what was going through her mind. "Hi," he finally answered. He walked to where she was standing.

Kristin took a deep breath. Apologies had never been very easy for her. "Nathan, I…I'm sorry. I was never angry with you. I just-"

Nathan then wrapped his arms around her. "I know; you don't need to apologize. I'm just glad you finally came out of the bathroom. And I'm glad you're not crying anymore; it wasn't easy to listen to you and not be able to comfort you."

She snuggled into him. "Sorry…I'm feeling a little better now."

"That's good," Nathan said, pulling away to look at her. He put his hands on her shoulders. "You're not just saying that?"

She shook her head. "Sylvia came by to talk to me. She explained a few things. I can't say I'm completely confident on the matter, but I'm not feeling as hopeless as I was."

Nathan placed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm glad to hear that." He ushered her to the sofa to sit. "Are you hungry? I made some chicken and sauce over rice," he told her.

She nodded. "A little."

"Then let me get you some," he offered.

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"That was delicious," Kristin said after finishing her last bite. "Thank you."

"Well, it was just something I whipped up," Nathan said with a shrug. "It wasn't anything fancy."

"It certainly tasted much better than the food in the mess hall. I never knew you were such a good cook."

Nathan smiled. "Carol was always upset with the fact I was a better cook than she was."

"Well, that makes two of us."

Nathan gave her a look.

"I'm a terrible cook," she admitted finally. "Oh, I can make simple things, but give me a recipe, and I always mess it up."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "You don't see it as a chemistry experiment?" he teased gently.

"No, that would be easy," she said with a laugh.

"Tell you what; sometime soon, I'll give you a personal cooking lesson. That is, if you want one."

"Sounds wonderful," Kristin gushed.

Nathan stood and took her dirty dishes to the kitchen. "I'm just going to do up the dishes here," he called. "Keep talking."

Kristin followed his lead. "How about you wash, and I'll dry?"

"Deal," Nathan agreed.

So the two washed the dishes and chatted quietly as they worked. They were nearly finished when there was a knock at the door. Nathan and Kristin both exchanged a questioning glance.

"Perhaps I should excuse myself for the moment," Kristin said, quietly heading into the bedroom. If it were one of the _seaQuest_ crew, she would have stayed there. But she didn't know if it was someone from the brass…or even Richard.

Nathan waited until she had closed the door behind her, then dried his hands on a towel. He then answered the door.

"Good evening, Captain," greeted Admiral Beatty. Standing beside him was a short but burly-looking man.

Nathan recognized him from photos he'd seen. "Admiral, Secretary Knox, come in."

Once they'd entered, Nathan held out a hand in greeting to both of them. Then he motioned to the sofa and chairs in the living room. Nathan took a seat and the two men sat across from him. "Secretary, sir, what an honor it is to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine, Captain," the secretary replied. "I suppose you're wondering what this impromptu visit is all about."

"A little, yes." Nathan looked from one man to the other, trying to read the expressions on their faces.

"Well, Jack, word is you were present when the senator had his...unfortunate outburst earlier today," the admiral explained.

Nathan nodded. "Um, yes…"

"And please know we'd like to apologize for that personally," the secretary added. "We know you and Mrs. Mayfield are rather close."

"Oh…" Nathan replied, suddenly worried if he was going to be involved in this divorce scandal.

"How is she?"

Nathan hesitated. "She was a little shaken up, but she's fine now."

"Is she here?" the admiral asked.

Nathan looked to the bedroom door. He was sure Kristin was listening, but he hoped she would decide not to come out. He still wasn't sure what this little meeting was all about, and he didn't want her under any more stress than she already was. After a few moments, he realized she was staying where she was. "She's sleeping."

"Oh, please don't think we're concerned about whatever is going on between you two," the secretary continued. "Really, it's the senator's fault for what happened."

"Okay…" Nathan replied, still quite unsure about the intentions of the two men before him.

"We would like to know, however, if Mrs. Mayfield may have ever…mentioned anything to you."

"Sir, I'm not quite sure what you're getting at…"

"Jack, you know the senator is highly involved with the navy," the admiral began.

"Yes…"

"Which is why he's been so generous to fund the _Nautilus_ …and so many other naval ships. But you do realize how he gets that funding, don't you?"

"I'm not…I suppose I haven't thought about it…" Nathan said after a moment.

"In short, Captain, the senator might be involved in some not-so-kosher business dealings. Now, for us, we'd rather look the other way because, let's face it, we need his money right now. This is a dire time our country is in, and we can't afford not to have funding like this," the secretary stated. "But surely, he must have told his wife something."

Nathan suddenly understood. "I really wouldn't know…"

"Oh, come now, Captain," the secretary countered. "We want to know what she knows."

"I really don't know," Nathan said again.

"We know you two are as thick as thieves."

Nathan didn't like the sinister turn this meeting was taking. "Why don't you talk to the senator about this?"

"We did, and I'm afraid we were the cause of his outburst. We wanted him to be sure she just kept mum on anything that she might know," the admiral said.

"I really don't think-"

"You need to understand, Jack…the fact that she might know something could be very crucial to our cause. Even her mentioning something in passing might mean the destruction of everything we've worked to build."

"And that in turn could potentially leave us defenseless for any sort of attack," the secretary finished.

Nathan thought for a moment, trying to decide how to respond to all this. "I really don't think Mrs. Mayfield knows anything, and even if she does, I think her intention is to simply get a divorce and start a new life. She wants nothing to do with the senator or his money. And I highly doubt she cares about his business dealings and whether they're kosher or not. I assure you, she doesn't know anything."

"How can you be so sure?" The secretary raised a challenging brow.

"I just know, sir. I simply ask that you trust me."

The secretary and the admiral both contemplated on the matter for a few minutes.

Finally, the secretary spoke once again, "Very well, Captain. I suppose I have no choice in the matter but to do so. Let me just say this; you'd better not prove me wrong."

Both men then stood. "Goodnight, Jack," the admiral said with a nod.

"Goodnight, Captain," the secretary echoed. With that, they both left, closing the door behind them.

Nathan stood to look out the window, wanting to be sure they were leaving since there was something unsettling about the conversation. He suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder, causing him to jump. He turned to see Kristin.

"Sorry," she muttered, her voice a low whisper as if someone might be eavesdropping. "I heard everything." She looked out the window as well. The two men were standing in front of the apartment building talking, their backs turned to them.

"I'm glad you stayed put. I didn't quite like that."

"I think that's what Richard was trying to tell me," Kristin finally said. "I told you I thought he was trying to warn me."

"Well, he had a funny way of showing it," Nathan commented dryly.

"I…I know…but I think I'd rather be in a room alone with him rather than those two," Kristin replied. "You don't think they're the ones who…"

"I really don't know, but maybe we shouldn't dwell on that." Nathan stepped away from the window. "Remember, positive thoughts?" He headed towards the kitchen to finish the dishes.

Kristin stood at the window. She saw the admiral start walking away, but the secretary lingered. He suddenly turned and looked directly at Kristin.

She stood frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do. Could he see her?

After a moment, the secretary gave her a wink, then turned to catch up with the admiral.

Kristin took a few deep breaths, trying to calm her pounding heart. She then turned away from the window and took her place beside Nathan. "Yes, positive thoughts indeed."

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After the dishes, Nathan asked, "What would you like to do now?"

She shrugged. She felt it was best to keep her little encounter with the secretary to herself for the moment. "Maybe a game of cards?" she said weakly.

Nathan gave her a look. He could tell that's not what she really wanted to do. "Listen, if you're tired, don't feel like you need to stay up to appease me. I'll be fine."

"Well…" she said thoughtfully. "There is one thing I'd like…"

"What's that?"

"It's silly," Kristin said with a wave of her hand.

"Oh, come on," Nathan pressed. "Go ahead."

She sighed. "Well, I'd really like to take a bubble bath. Do you know how long it's been? Well, actually, you do. We don't have that luxury on _seaQuest_."

Nathan smiled. "Then you go right ahead. Enjoy yourself."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. I'll just read a book or something."

She gave him a quick hug and headed into the bathroom.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

One hour later, Kristin emerged from the bathroom, feeling more relaxed. She'd forgotten about the drama of the day, and she was suddenly feeling very sleepy. She yawned.

Nathan appeared in the hallway, a cup and saucer in his hand for each of them. "Feeling better?"

"Much, thank you," she replied.

"I made you a cup of tea," he told her. "I see someone's feeling tired."

"A little," she admitted.

"Come on, we'll drink it in the bedroom."

Kristin followed him and the two sat on the bed, sipping the tea.

"This is lovely," Kristin said after a moment. "I really am happy you're here with me."

"Me, too," Nathan agreed. He put an arm around her and placed a kiss to her cheek. "Everything's going to be fine, you know. You don't need to worry."

She nodded and snuggled into him. For once, she was starting to believe that, even despite the meeting with the admiral and secretary. She felt her eyes start to close, and it wasn't long before she drifted off to sleep.


	22. How When The Edges Are Rough

**December 4, 1941**

Kristin awoke with a scream. Nathan immediately responded, wrapping his arms around her and trying to calm her down.

"It was just a dream," he soothed softly.

She nodded and clung to him. She hadn't planned on this: the dreams. She'd been fine before she'd fallen asleep. Even with everything going on, she was feeling okay with it all…or so she thought. Apparently, her subconscious thought differently, but she wasn't going to let it ruin her, not at the moment. It was still very early morning; it wasn't even light out. "S-sorry," she muttered softly, her voice trembling. "I-I'm fine."

Nathan could feel her shaking in his arms. He adjusted his position; he was lying on his back while Kristin lay across his chest. He rubbed her back in an effort to calm her. "You don't need to apologize," he told her. "But if you want to talk…"

She shook her head. "I'm fine," she said again. As if her previous nightmares weren't bad enough, this time she'd dreamt about Frank Knox. In the dream, he'd done unspeakable things to her before forcing her into that chest. _It was just a dream,_ she thought to herself, _just a dream._ She took a few deep breaths in an effort to try to forget.

Nathan nodded. He figured as much. He yawned and said, "Just try to go back to sleep then. I'll be right here. I won't let anything happen to you." He held her closer to emphasize his point.

Kristin whispered a, "Thank you," and tried to think about anything else but Frank Knox, Sylvia Mayfield, and her murder. She tried to think of other things. First, she thought of her reef classifications. That had helped calm her once before. She tried doing the little game that she and Nathan had done a few nights before in her head. The only problem was that thinking about the reef classifications reminded her of the chest. And the chest reminded her of…

_Bad idea_ , she thought. _Think of something else_. She sighed in frustration. _What about…Darwin_? She hadn't thought about him for a while. When Lucas had found him after they ended up in this time period, she remembered how happy she was. Darwin was sort of the unofficial mascot of the _seaQuest_ , and a friend to each and every member of the crew. Kristin had always been a dog person, but that wasn't exactly an option, living on a submarine. She was delighted when Darwin was brought aboard. Of course, it was simply a tactic from Admiral Noyce in order to get Nathan to captain the _seaQuest_ , seeing as how Darwin was his...well, more like they had adopted one another.

But Kristin quickly fell in love with the dolphin as well. Not only was he a phenomenal source of her research, he was also a friend. _Hmmm…perhaps I should go for a walk later today and try to find him?_ Of course, Nathan would probably accompany her. Frankly, she didn't want to be alone, especially now. She snuggled into Nathan, listening to the gentle thump of his heartbeat. He had long since gone back to sleep, and she did her best not to wake him. At least she wasn't shaking anymore, but she still didn't feel tired. She pushed herself up on her elbows and glanced at the bedside clock. It was just a little after four in the morning. She lay back down and tried to think of something else to occupy her mind until it was time to get up.

But everything she thought of brought her back to everything she _didn't_ want to think about. She tossed and turned a bit, but nothing seemed to help. She glanced at the clock once again and saw that only fifteen minutes had passed. She groaned softly in frustration. She simply couldn't stand it any longer. She had to get up and do something else; anything to get her mind off of things. _Perhaps a cup of tea would help?_ She nodded to herself. It certainly couldn't hurt. She looked to her left; Nathan was sound asleep. She gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek and quietly got out of bed. She carefully shut the door so as not to disturb him and padded out to the kitchen.

She turned on the small light located above the stove. It was dim enough so it shouldn't wake Nathan, but it was just enough light in the early hours of the morning. She had to search through the cabinets to find where Nathan kept the tea, but it wasn't long before she found it. She took out a pot and heated some water on the stove. A short time later, her tea was steeping. She took that time to clean up the stove and wipe down the counters. No, she hadn't really made much of a mess. However, the small tasks of making tea and cleaning helped keep her mind occupied, which is what she needed.

After she decided that everything looked clean enough, she put a bit of milk and sugar in her tea and turned off the light. The sun wasn't rising just yet, but it was starting to get light out. She picked up the cup and moved to the sofa, but she saw something out of the corner of her eye when she walked by the window. It was a flickering; she thought perhaps it was just a passing car, but the light wasn't great enough for headlights.

She took a sip of her tea and moved closer to the window. The street lamp outside still shone brightly, placing a large path of light in its wake. Then she noticed the flickering. It was in the dark, just out of the reach of the street lamp. A small orange light. _Light, dark; light, dark_. It took her a few minutes to realize it was someone opening and closing a lighter. The light was the flame from the lighter. _But who in the world would be out so early?_ she wondered.

She noticed that whoever was holding the lighter was coming closer; whoever it was was out for a stroll. She could hear the metallic click of the lighter opening and closing, even through the closed window. _Click, flick, light. Click, flick, light._ She took another sip of her tea and watched with intrigue at the dark figure. As he came closer to the street lamp, she could see the person was definitely male, judging from the way he was dressed; dark pants, a white shirt, and a jacket flung over his shoulder. He was also wearing a fedora. She could also see a cigar sticking out of his mouth, the end turning orange as he smoked it. His face, however, was hidden in the shadows by the brim of his hat.

She was about to turn away and go sit on the sofa when he suddenly looked at her. He seemed to know she was standing there, seemed to know she'd been watching. She instantly froze, and her mouth opened in shock. It was Frank Knox.

He looked at her and gave her a smile, only his smile was cold, evil. There was nothing happy about that smile.

She felt her heart start to race. She shook her head as if trying to shake the image from her mind. She closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them again, hoping he'd go away.

No, he was still standing there under the street lamp, flicking that lighter. _Click, flick, light. Click, flick, light._ It was almost as though he knew it was taunting her, and he was enjoying every minute of it.

Kristin couldn't believe it. How in the world could he have known she'd be awake at this hour, that she'd be looking out the window? She shook her head again. _It couldn't be Knox,_ she told herself. It had to be some look alike, just someone out at this odd hour whom happened to look like Frank Knox. Everyone has a twin. Sylvia was hers, so Frank Knox could easily have one himself. Yes, it seemed plausible. She tried desperately to convince herself of this logic.

However, the figure outside seemed to know she was mulling such things over in her mind. And as if to confirm her suspicions, he gave her a wink, just as he'd done the night before.

"Oh!" Kristin cried, certainly not expecting that. Her hand went weak, no longer able to hold her cup, and it fell to the floor, breaking on impact and splashing tea all over the carpet. At that moment, she felt hands go around her shoulders. She struggled for a moment.

"Kristin, it's me," Nathan said, trying to calm her down.

She clung to him, crying softly, no longer able to pretend that everything was fine anymore. "The window," she said through her tears, pointing.

Nathan looked, but didn't see anyone. "There's no one there," he told her.

This resulted in a few soft sobs from her.

"Hey, shh," Nathan soothed as he held her. "It's okay. I'm here."

It only took her a few minutes to quiet.

"Why did you shout? What happened?" Nathan finally asked, pulling away to look at her, his eyes searching hers for the answers. He led her to the sofa, and they sat.

She wiped the stray tears off her cheeks with her hand. "I couldn't sleep," she replied. "I tried, but I couldn't keep my mind off certain things. And I didn't want to wake you, so I came out here to make some tea. I thought I'd drink it by the window, and then I saw someone…"

"And that someone scared you?" Nathan inferred.

She nodded, averting her gaze. "I…I'm sorry about the cup. I'll clean it up."

Nathan waved a hand. "I don't give a damn about that." He put a hand on her chin and gave it a slight push so she'd look at him again. "I have a feeling there's something else, though."

She simply nodded, knowing she couldn't continue to keep him in the dark. "It's just that…last night, when we were talking, I saw Frank Knox look at me through the window. He was standing under the street lamp, and he looked right at me. I thought at first that he was looking past me, perhaps not directly at me. But then, he gave me a wink as if he knew it. I…I tried to just brush it off. It's probably nothing."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Nathan asked after he'd let what she'd said sink in.

"I didn't want to worry you…and I didn't want to scare myself. You know how eager they were to speak with me. I just…" Her voice trailed off. She paused for a moment and let out a sigh. "It didn't really help me…not trying to scare myself, that is because that's what I dreamt about. And just now, I swear I saw Frank Knox staring at me through the window. I…I know it sounds crazy, but-"

Nathan put his arms around her. "No, it's not crazy, not at all. I believe you. I just wish you'd have told me sooner."

"It wouldn't have changed anything, though," she pointed out. "Like Sylvia said, nothing can be changed. If Frank Knox is the one who-"

But Nathan interrupted, "Please, don't. Let's not think about that, okay?"

She nodded and felt him hug her tighter. She didn't need to be asked twice. She wished she wasn't thinking about Frank Knox at all.

"Maybe you should stay here today?" Nathan suggested. "I'm sure Joshua could handle it."

She shook her head. "I can't keep hiding from it. We still don't know for sure who the murderer is. And even so, it doesn't matter. Hiding me here isn't going to change anything, and you know that. Besides, I can't handle being alone."

"You wouldn't be alone."

She gave him a small smile. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but you can't afford to keep jeopardizing your career; well, rather _Jack's_ career. It doesn't matter what we do; we're simply delaying the inevitable."

Nathan sighed. He knew she was right, despite his reservations. "Fine, but I don't like it."

"And you think I do? All we can do is hope that Sylvia knows what she's doing. As for Frank Knox, I suppose it is possible I might have imagined what I saw…but it seemed so real…"

Nathan gave her hand a tight squeeze. "Well, there's no one there now. And how is it he'd have known you'd be awake at this hour?"

She shrugged. "That's the same thing I asked myself." She waved a hand. "I probably did imagine it. I'm just letting my imagination run away with me is all."

"Possibly," Nathan agreed, "but we'll take the same precautions as usual. I'll walk you to the clinic, pick you up for lunch and after work. I don't want to take any chances."

She nodded. "Agreed. Um…what about that staff meeting we promised?" she asked after a pause.

"That all depends on you. Are you up for it?"

She thought for a moment. "I don't think we can really afford not to let the others in on what's going on. I'd rather not give them the news myself, however. I was hoping you'd be able to do that."

"I'll do what I can," he told her. He placed a kiss to her cheek. "I'm sure they'll all appreciate knowing."

She nodded in agreement.

"Why don't you let me make you breakfast, and we can forget this whole mess?" Nathan finally asked her.

"What about the carpet?"

"We'll take care of it later."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After breakfast had been eaten, and the mess had been cleaned, they both got ready for the day. They then got into Nathan's car and headed to the base.

As per the usual, Nathan walked her to the clinic. On the way in, they'd been greeted by several crew members. Nathan took that as an opportunity to explain about the staff meeting and told them to spread the word.

Once they'd reached her office, Kristin was grateful since that meant she'd hopefully have a busy day to keep her mind occupied.

"Just remember what I said," Nathan told her.

She nodded. "I'll be good, I promise."

"It's not you I'm worried about exactly."

She gave him a smile. "I know." She gave his hand a squeeze. "The others watch me like a hawk. Everything's going to be fine."

He nodded. "See you at lunch."

"Definitely."

Nathan held her hand for a few moments longer than was necessary, then parted ways. He watched her as she entered her office and headed towards his own, silently counting the minutes until he'd see her again.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

She was in her office for less than five minutes when she received a knock on her door. It was Joshua.

"I just wanted to be sure you were feeling all right," he said, "after last night…"

She gave him a small smile. The hypnosis was the least of her worries at the moment, but she wasn't going to tell him that. "I'm fine. Sylvia and I had a chat."

"Good to know." He held a stack of files in his hand. "We have a busy day ahead of us, so I wanted to be sure you were up for it."

"Definitely." That was just what she needed; anything to get her mind off of Frank Knox.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

By mid-morning, however, there was a lull. Kristin had one hour before lunch. Part of her debated taking that little walk down to the beach…just for a little while; she knew Joshua wouldn't mind. That was the only advantage to this situation, although she didn't have the heart to enjoy it-the fact no one would refuse her anything. However, she decided against the walk, knowing that her going off by herself would upset Nathan if he knew, even if nothing happened.

She sighed and opened up the files on her desk. She cracked her knuckles as started to enter certain vital information that was necessary. She worked for a few minutes when there was a knock at her door.

"Come in," she called pleasantly.

"Doctor Mayfield?" a young woman asked upon opening the door.

"Yes?" Kristin knew she knew this woman from somewhere. She tried to think where she'd seen her, but couldn't place her.

"I'm Mildred; Admiral Beatty's secretary. Um, the admiral was wondering if you had a few moments."

Kristin's heart sank. "I do, actually. But why would a military admiral want to see me?"

Mildred shrugged. "I'm sorry, but he didn't say. It won't take long, he told me to tell you."

"Very well. Uh, just let me tell Doctor Lawrence."

Ten minutes later, Kristin was in the office of the admiral. Mildred had told her to take a seat and told her the admiral would be in shortly.

Kristin wrung her hands together in worry, however. If it was just the admiral, well, he seemed harmless enough. But she had the sinking feeling he wouldn't be alone.

A minute later, the admiral entered along with Secretary Knox. Kristin held her breath.

The admiral must have sensed her worry. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hello, Doctor. We're so glad you could make it on such short notice."

She gave them both a cordial nod and tried to force a smile.

"There's no need to be nervous," the admiral continued. "We just wanted to speak with you about yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Her voice was hoarse and weak. She cleared her throat and asked again, "Yesterday?"

"We do hope you know how sorry we are about Richard's behavior," the secretary cut in. "Please know we don't condone that."

She nodded slightly. "Well, um…no harm done. Richard is the way he is, and I don't see him changing, unfortunately."

"Perhaps you're right. We just want you to know we think you're doing the right thing," the admiral told her. "About the divorce."

"Oh, if you're worried about me trying to get money from him, there's no need. I want nothing from him," Kristin replied, assuming that this meeting might concern Richard's assets, which the US Navy desperately needed at this time. "Whatever money he's offered you is yours. I don't plan on taking that away."

"We appreciate that, Doctor, but that's not our concern," the secretary said. "We are, however, concerned about what Richard may have told you."

"Told me? I'm sorry, but you'll need to be more specific than that."

Secretary Knox exchanged an annoyed glance with the admiral. "Surely, you know secrets about Richard's investments, don't you?"

"Oh…" she breathed, suddenly realizing the point of this meeting. "Actually, Richard and I never spoke about our finances in depth. You realize that's not exactly a subject that women are privy to in this day and age."

Knox raised an eyebrow. "Sylvia…may I call you Sylvia?"

She gave him a nod.

"Sylvia, I happen to know you're a smart woman. This may be the 1940's, but you know more than you let on. You're a doctor, and for good reason. Therefore, even if your husband didn't speak to you directly, surely you must have observed…possibly even overheard something, but kept it to yourself, hm?"

She swallowed hard, but tried not to let Knox see her sweat, so to speak. In her most confident voice, she replied, "I really have no idea what you're getting at. I don't know anything."

Knox eyed her suspiciously for a moment. Then he looked at her left hand, noticing her ring. He reached over and took her hand in his. "That's a lovely ring you have there. Tell me, why are you still wearing it?"

"I…I just haven't taken it off yet," she stammered, pulling her hand away. She didn't like him touching her. "It…just takes some getting used to," she quickly recovered.

"Of course," Knox said sympathetically. "You should pawn it. At least you'd get something out of it then."

She nodded. She finally pulled the ring off and stuffed it in her pocket.

"Good girl," Knox said.

There was an awkward pause. Kristin noticed Knox giving her a strange smile, the same smile she'd seen the night before and this morning. She averted her gaze.

"Well, Admiral, I have nothing else to discuss. Do you?" Knox said.

"Not at all." The admiral gave her shoulder another squeeze. "We do wish you luck with everything."

She gave them each a nod.

"Thank you for your time, Doctor," Knox said as she left.

After she was gone, the secretary looked at the admiral. "She's lying."


	23. And They Cut You

Kristin lingered in the corridor just outside the admiral's office for a moment, trying to calm her pounding heart. She leaned up against the wall and took a few deep breaths. She then glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was nearly noon. She quickly forced her nerves into submission, knowing she had to meet with Nathan. With the upcoming meeting with the rest of the crew, she felt it best to maintain her composure for the time being. She would have to deal with this situation with Knox later.

She walked across the base, in search of Nathan. As she neared the clinic, she saw him in the parking lot. She ran to catch up with him, calling his name.

He turned to her. "What are you doing out here?" he asked, sounding cheerful.

"It's a long story," she replied, wrapping her arms around him. She just needed some comfort since she was still feeling frightened about her recent meeting.

Nathan returned the embrace, but suddenly became concerned. "You're trembling," he noted. "What's wrong?"

"I just-"

"Good afternoon, Captain."

Kristin and Nathan both turned.

Kristin felt her knees go weak and held tightly onto Nathan's arm to steady herself. She wasn't sure if Frank Knox was following her, but she didn't like the fact he suddenly showed up…seemingly out of nowhere.

Nathan noticed Kristin's apprehension but simply chalked it up to the fact that Knox had been looking for her last night, and that fact had made her slightly uncomfortable. Hell, he wasn't comfortable with it either. He placed a reassuring hand at the small of her back and gave the secretary a nod. "Hello, sir."

"I trust everything is going well?" Knox asked.

"Of course," Nathan replied, stealing a glance at Kristin, who wore a look of fear on her face. Nathan put an arm around her waist and pulled her closer in an effort to comfort her.

Knox walked a bit closer to them, causing Kristin to move closer still to Nathan. "You keep a tight hold on her, Jack."

"Excuse me?"

"Doctor Mayfield, here," Knox replied, motioning towards Kristin. "You'd better keep a tight hold on her. She's had it rough lately, and the senator isn't too happy with her. I wouldn't trust him. Just be sure nothing happens to her. That would be a shame, now wouldn't it?"

Nathan nodded. "I definitely don't intend to let it, sir."

"Good," Knox replied, flashing Kristin a sinister grin. "Well, I'll leave you two be. Have a lovely day." With that, he walked away.

Kristin finally released the breath she didn't realize she was holding in. She turned to Nathan and noticed the look he was giving her.

"You want to tell me what's going on?" he asked, his voice laced with concern. He noticed she was still trembling. "What was Knox insinuating?"

She hesitated for a moment, looking around her. She noticed the base suddenly getting busier as everyone was coming out for lunch. "Um, perhaps we could go for a walk?" she suggested.

"Aren't you hungry?"

She shook her head. She certainly wasn't thinking of food at a time like this.

Nathan sighed and took her hand in his. They walked down toward the beach where there was a woman running a lunch cart. Nathan stopped and bought a couple of sandwiches and two cups of coffee. He offered a sandwich and a cup to Kristin.

She accepted, but made no attempt to eat or drink.

Nathan sat down on the dock and helped Kristin sit next to him. "So what in the world is going on?" he asked once they were comfortable.

"I…I don't know if now's the best time," she began softly. "Why don't we deal with speaking with the crew before-"

"No," Nathan interrupted. "I'm sorry, but I can obviously tell that there is something terribly wrong." He put his arm around her. "You're still trembling for goodness sake. What is going on?" he pressed, desperate to find out. "Please?"

Kristin took a deep breath, thinking for a moment. She then spoke softly, "Frank Knox is what's going on."

"You mean you're still upset about this morning? I really don't think Knox is-"

"Nathan, Admiral Beatty called me into his office," Kristin interrupted. "He and Knox wanted to question me. They wanted to know what I knew. It…it was horrifying. Knox…he…he…there's something _odd_ about how he acts…towards me."

"They did _what_? Why in the world would they question a civilian doctor?" Nathan muttered, now becoming visibly upset. "And how do you mean _odd_?"

"Did you _see_ what just happened back there? Didn't that seem strange to you?" Kristin lowered her voice as if someone might be listening. "I don't know about you, but I am becoming increasingly sure that Frank Knox is the one responsible for…well, you know. He…he just makes my skin crawl…"

Nathan wrapped her in a tight hug. "I've already promised you that I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You know I'd rather take your place than to let…" his voice trailed off. He paused for a bit, trying to think of something comforting to say. "You don't need to worry about Frank Knox or Admiral Beatty. Everything's going to be fine."

Kristin pulled away to look at him. "We keep saying that, but it's becoming harder and harder to believe it."

"Sylvia promised," Nathan reminded her, his hands on her shoulders.

Kristin sighed. "She said she would _try_. That still means there's a chance..."

"We agreed we wouldn't think like that."

"I…I know," Kristin said, "and I'm really trying not to. But with Frank Knox looming over me like some dark shadow, it makes it awfully difficult."

There was a long pause. Nathan simply hugged her again in an effort to comfort her, but he knew he was falling short of that. After several minutes, he finally asked, "What did you say to them?"

"I told them I didn't know anything. That really isn't a lie…"

Nathan nodded. "Did they believe you?"

She shrugged. "They didn't press the issue."

"Then you're probably worrying over nothing," Nathan assured her.

"But just now…" Kristin began.

Nathan waved a hand. "It's nothing," he tried to convince her.

Kristin gave him a doubtful look. "You don't really believe that?"

Nathan sighed. "Would you believe me if I said yes?"

She shook her head.

"No one knows who is really responsible for…you know. Up until yesterday, we thought it was the senator. Tomorrow, it could be someone else. My point is, we can't keep worrying over who it is. All we should think about is Sylvia's promise. You said it yourself; this will ruin us if we keep worrying."

Kristin sighed. "All right," she relented. "I'll try."

Nathan smiled and put an arm around her. "Everything's going to be fine. Now why don't you eat, please? It's turkey."

She finally unwrapped her sandwich and took a small bite. "Thank you."

"Anytime," Nathan told her. He made a mental note that he was going to speak with Secretary Knox and the admiral himself later. He didn't quite like the fact they were taking a civilian behind closed doors, and especially not Kristin. He felt it best not to mention his plan to her because he knew she wouldn't like it. "Are you sure you're still up for a meeting with the others? Maybe we should postpone it?"

She shook her head. "No…I think it's best that they know. We can't continue to keep them in the dark any longer…not when the sixth is getting closer."

"As long as you're sure."

"I am," she insisted.

Nathan doubted her confidence, but didn't press the issue. With the uncertainty of the sixth looming nearer, he knew she was right. They couldn't keep the crew in the dark any longer.

The two sat in silence as they continued to eat.

Kristin looked out over the blue water and sighed after she'd finished her sandwich. "This…this is what I miss," she commented softly.

Nathan put an arm around her. "We'll be out there again soon," he assured her, "just like we never left."

She simply nodded, but she had a feeling it wouldn't happen…or at least that it wouldn't involve her. She quickly brushed the thought aside, however. Now was not the time to think that way.

The two of them sat quietly for quite a while watching the waves. Then Kristin heard something…familiar. It sounded like… She turned her head towards the sound and saw a creature in the water; it was Darwin.

"Hey, look who's joined us," Nathan commented, bending down to rub the mammal's melon.

Kristin smiled softly. She wondered if he could sense that she'd been thinking about him earlier that morning. She leaned over to pet him. "I've missed you," she said quietly.

Darwin responded with excited chirps and whistles.

"He says he misses you too," Nathan translated.

Kristin laughed softly. She didn't need Nathan to translate, although she wished she had the vocoder at that moment. Darwin was quite a perceptive creature, and he always seemed to know when one was feeling sad or upset. But looking into his eyes, she knew that he knew.

He nuzzled her hand and squeaked softly.

Kristin just pet him for a few minutes and whispered, "We'll all be together soon."

Darwin bobbed his head up and down in the water and flapped his fins.

"Looks like he agrees," Nathan pointed out. Then he said, "We should probably go find the others, hm?"

Kristin nodded, but made no attempt to move. If she had her way, she'd be swimming with Darwin. It would definitely keep her mind off of everything happening. She felt Nathan's arm go around her.

"Everything's going to be fine."

She nodded and gave Darwin one last pat. "We'll see you soon."

Darwin chirped in response, and Nathan gave him a hand signal. Then the two turned back and walked back towards the base.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Commander Ford had taken it upon himself to round up the crew, so that when Kristin and Nathan walked back, they were all waiting, all seated around the picnic tables that were out on the grass.

Kristin took a seat between Katie and Ben.

Katie immediately took Kristin's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze of support while Ben put an arm around her shoulders.

Kristin was grateful for them and felt a small pang for keeping them at arm's length in light of recent events. She gave them both a small smile and vowed to herself that she would speak with them after the meeting.

Nathan stood in front of everyone and called their attention. "I realize we haven't been very open and honest with all of you…and that's my fault," Nathan began.

Kristin felt another pang of guilt. It wasn't Nathan's fault at all. As Nathan continued to speak, she realized she couldn't let him do that for her. Everyone had done so much for her while she was there, and she was forever grateful for it. And if she got out of this situation alive, she vowed she would return the favor a million times over.

She stood up. "Wait."

Nathan and everyone else gave her a questioning look.

Kristin took Nathan's arm and whispered softly, "I think they need to hear it from me."

"Are you sure?" Nathan asked. "I thought…"

"I'm sure. Just go sit down…please?"

Nathan gave her hand a squeeze and did as she requested.

Kristin stood there for a moment, staring at all the questioning looks. She then took a breath and spoke. "First of all, I'd like to thank the captain for everything he's done to help, but I have a correction to make. It wasn't his idea not to tell you what was going on. It was mine. If…if you're going to blame anyone, blame me." She paused for a brief moment and cleared her throat nervously. "I…I thought I could handle this on my own. I didn't want you to worry about me. I know you all see me as tough-as-nails, and I thought I was…I didn't want that image to change. But truth be told, I'm not as tough as I thought. Sylvia Mayfield had a hellish life. It wasn't all rainbows and sunshine, and I can't pretend anymore."

"Doc, you don't-" Ben began.

But Kristin waved him off. "Please, let me finish," she said gently. "Long story short, Sylvia has had some revelations. There is no way we can prevent her, um, _my_ death here. She…she made me a promise though. Well, at least she'll _try._ If all goes according to plan, she'll create a new storm. She claims we should _all_ be able to go home then…and she and I should be able to separate."

Everyone was quiet for several minutes, taking this information in.

Finally, however, Katie spoke up, "What happens if it doesn't work?" she asked worriedly.

Kristin and Nathan shared a look. Nathan was about to get up from his seat when she shook her head, telling him she wanted him to stay. She turned back to Katie. "Sylvia didn't express any worry in creating another storm. She seemed confident about that."

"That's not what I meant," Katie replied. "What about _you_?"

Kristin hesitated. She took a deep breath and was about to speak when she felt an arm go around her shoulders. She looked and saw Nathan. Although she had wanted to do this on her own, she hadn't realized how difficult it would really be to mention her possible death to the others, so she couldn't say she was upset by this fact.

"Do you want to say it or should I?" he asked quietly enough so only she could hear.

"I…I think I can say it…as long as you stay up here with me."

He gave her a squeeze of encouragement.

She took a deep breath. "There is a possibility I'll meet the same fate as Sylvia…" Kristin said.

The crew began to voice protests and concerns for the doctor.

But Nathan spoke over the group. "I realize it is worrying, but we need to put our faith into Sylvia and believe everything will turn out all right."

"And I would feel much better if we try to do so," Kristin added.

"I'm sure everything's going to turn out fine," Ben finally piped up, sounding sincere.

Kristin smiled. Ben always was so optimistic, the very reason he was morale officer.

The others chimed in, saying the same thing.

As the lunch hour was nearing its close, Nathan closed the meeting. "Well, we just wanted to touch base with you. I do thank you all for coming."

"Wait a minute," Ben interrupted. "That's it?"

"Well, we do need to get back to work, Mr. Pierce."

"No, I mean…what about tomorrow? Will we see each other? And just in case things don't go well…maybe we should do something…to celebrate our last night together?" he suggested.

"What? Like a party?" Lucas said.

"Exactly," Ben said. "Maybe we should. It would boost morale, wouldn't it?"

Nathan looked at Kristin. "I can't believe I'm actually agreeing, but he has a point. What do you say?"

Kristin thought for a moment. In all honesty, she certainly didn't want to entertain the thought of her death, but in light of everything, perhaps it was a good idea. "O…okay," she said with a nod.

"I'll start planning it right away," Ben confirmed as the others began to go back to work.

"Nothing too fancy," Kristin told him. "Just an intimate get together."

"Sure thing, Doc," Ben replied. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "Well, I guess I-hey."

"What?" Kristin asked in alarm.

"You took your ring off," Ben noted. "Is that a good thing?"

She shrugged. "It's a long story, um, but I still have it. It's in my pocket."

"Oh, good. Well, see you later, then."

She gave him a quick hug. "Thank you."

"Anytime."

Once he left, Nathan turned to her. "I'm very proud of you."

She blushed. "I couldn't have you lie to them. And I actually feel better now that I've said it…even though it wasn't very easy. Thank you for knowing I needed you."

Nathan waved a hand. "It was nothing." He offered his arm. "Well, should I walk you back to work, milady?"

She accepted his arm. "Thank you, kind sir."

Once they'd gotten back to her office, Nathan asked, "So, what's this business with Sylvia's ring? Why did you take it off?"

"Oh…well, it was Knox actually. If Sylvia really is getting a divorce, wouldn't she have removed it?"

Nathan thought for a moment. "I guess I never thought of it. That does raise a question. Why was she wearing it when we found her body?"

"That's exactly what Ben thought of," she said. "I'd forgotten to mention it with all the chaos lately. Well, Knox pointed out that I was wearing it and said I should pawn it. I just didn't want to deal with it, so I took it off and put it in my pocket," Kristin explained. "I do, however, feel a little lost without it."

"If you feel better wearing it, don't let anyone stop you."

She nodded. "You're right." She reached into her pocket, but suddenly gasped.

"What's wrong?" Nathan asked with concern.

"The ring…it…it's gone!" Kristin became frantic. "That's all I have of her. I shouldn't have taken it off."

Nathan knew she was attached to that ring. She had been from the moment they'd found it, and he wasn't surprised by her reaction. He did his best to calm her. "Just think rationally. We know it didn't get up and walk away. Maybe you dropped it?"

"Maybe…but that means it could be anywhere." She gasped again. "What if it fell into the water?"

"Let's not jump to conclusions. I'll tell you what; I'll look for it on my way back to my office. That'll at least cover some of your tracks. Maybe you even dropped it in Beatty's office."

"Maybe," she agreed. "You're right. Hopefully it'll turn up."

"I'll see you after work," Nathan told her, giving her a quick hug. "Don't worry."

She nodded. "I'll try not to," she promised.


	24. Like The Tiniest Slivers Of Glass

Nathan walked across the base. Although he was in a hurry, he had promised Kristin he'd look for the ring. While a lost ring wasn't a tragedy, it meant a lot to Kristin. Nathan deduced she felt a stronger connection with Sylvia than the rest of them, so it only stood to reason the ring would be of great sentimental value. He was a man on a mission. He also wanted to speak with the admiral, and hopefully, Secretary Knox as well.

He kept a brisk pace but kept his eye to the ground. He did hope he would found it just so he could see the look on her face when he showed it to her later. He smiled softly at the thought of it. But as he finally approached the door of his office building, he had no such luck, although that didn't mean anything yet. He had a feeling that perhaps she had dropped it in or around Admiral Beatty's office. He made his way there, hoping to run into the admiral for an impromptu meeting.

He climbed the stairs, making his way up to the admiral's office. As he approached it, there was still no sign of Sylvia's ring.

"Did you lose something, Captain?"

Nathan looked up to see the smiling face of Mildred. "Uh, hello, Mildred. And, sort of, yes. It's my understanding that Doctor Mayfield was here earlier today?"

"Yes, that's right."

"Well, it seems she's lost a ring. It's very dear to her, and she fears she might have lost it between here and the hospital. I told her I'd see if it happened to be in this area. You haven't seen it, have you?"

Mildred sighed. "Oh, that is terrible for her. No, I haven't, but I'll be on the lookout."

"Thank you; I'm sure she'll appreciate that. Uh, is the admiral in, by chance? I was thinking she may have dropped it in his office," Nathan told her.

"No, he's still out to lunch, but I don't see why you can't have a looksee if I accompany you. I'm sure he won't mind."

Nathan smiled. "That would be wonderful; thank you."

He followed Mildred down the corridor, through the reception area, and into the admiral's office. They both started searching the floor.

"What does it look like?" Mildred asked.

"Oh, it's just a gold band, no stone," Nathan replied.

"Okay."

The two of them continued to search the area around the desk, but they found nothing. Nathan was just about to thank her and be on his way, deciding he'd have to speak with the admiral later when familiar voices were heard from the corridor. It was no surprise when the admiral and the secretary appeared in the doorway a moment later.

"What is the meaning of this?" The admiral's tone sounded disapproving. He cast Mildred a look.

Nathan immediately saluted in an attempt to show respect. "Sir, please, don't reprimand Mildred. I asked her if I could search for Doctor Mayfield's ring."

"Her ring?" Knox said.

Nathan nodded. "It seems it's gone missing, and she fears she might have dropped it. I've been searching for her. Neither of you saw it, have you?"

"Not since we spoke with her earlier," Knox replied. "I had suggested she remove it; you know, a pretty girl like that shouldn't keep wearing her wedding ring. She needs to let all the young men know she's available again. Such a tragedy with the way her husband treated her." He clicked his tongue. "Well, I told her she should pawn it, get something out of it. It's the least she deserves. After a bit of thought, she must have agreed with me because she put it in her pocket."

"Mildred, why don't you go back to the front desk, hm?" the admiral suggested.

Mildred gave a nod. "Yes, sir; right away, sir." She gave Nathan an apologetic look before leaving.

The admiral turned back to Nathan. "If we do happen to see it, we'll be sure to-"

"Wait just a minute," Nathan interrupted. "As long as you both are here, I was wondering if I could speak to you about something."

The admiral and the secretary exchanged glances and gave one another a nod.

"I don't see why not, Captain," the admiral replied, closing the office door. "Please, have a seat and tell us what's on your mind."

Nathan watched as Knox and Beatty both sat, but he made no attempt to sit. "I think I'd rather stand, thank you. I was just wondering why you both felt the need to question a civilian doctor. Really, what business is it of yours what she does?" His tone was accusatory.

Knox scoffed. "Captain, I assure you it was completely innocent. We didn't mean any harm to the doctor at all. We were simply-"

"If I may be frank, you scared her half to death. She's rather confused as to what your intentions were."

"We weren't trying to scare her," the admiral insisted.

"Not at all," Knox assured him.

Nathan narrowed his eyes. "Then why in the world did you call her in here asking her what she knows about Senator Mayfield and his financial assets? I had already told you she didn't know anything, yet you completely ignored what I said."

The admiral put his hands up. "Now, Jack… _ignored_ isn't quite the word exactly."

"Not at all," Knox agreed. "In fact, it was only out of concern for her."

Nathan snorted. " _Concern?_ "

"Senator Mayfield is not a force to be reckoned with, and poor Sylvia has had to be on the brunt end of his wrath for far too long. Although the senator has been generous enough to provide us with funding for the time being, questions have been raised about his financial practices. I can't tell you anything in great detail, but we're learning they're not exactly kosher." He paused and made eye contact with Nathan. "Now, certainly, this has sparked a debate among the rest of the brass, other United States officials, and even with President Roosevelt himself. Now, the admiral and myself, while we do agree that the senator's funds should be turned down because his hands aren't exactly clean, we feel that this is just an inauspicious time. You know as well as I that an attack is likely. Therefore, our Navy can't afford not to have the proper resources if an attack occurs. We certainly don't want any word of the senator's business practices to be leaked. You understand, don't you, Jack?"

Nathan felt his anger rise even more. "So because you don't want to lose any of that precious money, you felt it necessary to threaten an innocent woman?"

"Jack, you're making assumptions. That isn't what happened at all," Admiral Beatty said. "All we wanted to do was make sure that the doctor didn't-"

"Just put yourselves in our position, Jack. You'd have done the same thing. With the press being so enamored by the Mayfield's divorce, we just needed to be sure that Sylvia didn't say anything…that could be misconstrued. You do know how the media can twist things around," Knox stated. "No threats were made whatsoever. All we wanted to do was speak to her, that's all."

"And what did you find out?"

"That she didn't know anything," the admiral stated in a matter-of-fact manner.

"If only you'd have listened to me in the first place," Nathan said angrily.

"We are very sorry for any inconvenience we may have caused," the admiral replied, ironically sounding sincere.

"Yes," Knox chimed in, "very sorry."

"Perhaps you should tell that to Sylvia," Nathan muttered in frustration.

"You tell her for us," Knox said without missing a beat. "It was just for safety reasons."

"Yours or hers?" Nathan challenged.

"Is that how you speak to your superior, _Captain_?"

"When my superior is doing something I don't agree with, yes."

Knox stood and moved to where he was just mere centimeters away from Nathan, staring him in the eye. "You'd better change your tone, Captain."

"Uh, Frank…" the admiral interrupted gently. "You do realize Captain Remington is an asset to us at this time…"

Knox said nothing, but continued to glare at Nathan.

Nathan finally heard something, something he hadn't heard for quite a while. That voice; Jack's voice. _Apologize_. Nathan sighed. He didn't quite like this, but he figured Jack must have a reason. "I…I do apologize for my outburst," Nathan finally said through clenched teeth. "It was out of line."

Knox took a step backward. "We really are just trying to do what's best for everyone involved." He seemed to accept the apology.

Nathan didn't agree, but he simply nodded.

"Well, I think we've cleared the air then," the admiral said, sounding relieved. "If you're finished, Jack, we really should get back to work."

Nathan gave both him and Knox a salute. "Yes, sir."

He turned to leave, but Knox stopped him.

"Jack, you remember what I said now. You keep a tight hold on her. And if she happens to mention anything to you…about the senator's finances, you be sure to keep her mouth shut, hm? If that information fell into the wrong hands, well, there's no telling what might happen."

Nathan wanted to say something in anger, but Jack was practically screaming a warning to him. Instead, he turned back to the secretary. "Of course, sir."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

By the end of the day, Kristin had a reprieve from seeing patients. She glanced at the clock. Nathan wouldn't be there for another hour, so she sat at her desk and tried to fill out patient files. The day had been fairly busy, so she hadn't really noticed her missing ring. But now that she was alone, she found herself distracted and unable to concentrate. She forced herself to write a few lines of a diagnosis she'd given earlier. But she kept making errors. She swore in frustration. "Oh, why did I take that ring off?" she muttered.

She stood and looked out the large window in her office that overlooked the ocean. The sun was shining, making the ocean look so blue and inviting. She sighed, thinking of how lovely it would be to be swimming in it. Really, she'd have liked to be anywhere but there at that moment. She took a few deep breaths and did her best to calm down. Then she turned back to her desk. She began writing again. "Don't be silly, Kristin," she chastised herself. "Certainly, a ring isn't the reason you can't think straight." _Or is it?_ she wondered, too afraid to say it out loud.

She shook her head. No, it couldn't be. It was probably more likely she was still bothered by the Frank Knox situation, but she felt naked without Sylvia's ring now. Strange that something she'd only had for a short time could make her feel so complete. She'd never been so attached to any inanimate object before, not even her own wedding rings. But after a few more minutes, she decided she shouldn't keep pondering on it. She had to get some work done, at least to keep her mind occupied until Nathan arrived. She forced herself to try to work on the files once again.

After fighting to concentrate for ten more minutes and failing at doing so several times, Kristin was relieved when there was a gentle knock on the door. She looked up and noticed a very feminine-looking shadow cast in the frosted window. Deciding it was obviously not Knox or anyone who meant her harm, she said, "Come in."

The doorknob turned, and Katie entered. "Hi," she greeted pleasantly. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything." She motioned towards the files on her desk.

Kristin pushed them aside. "Not at all. I was just killing time until the captain comes. If I had my way, I wouldn't be here right now."

Katie nodded knowingly. "I was hoping we could chat for a bit then. I've missed you."

Kristin stood and walked around the desk. "I know, and I wanted you to know how badly I feel about that. I never intended it to be quite like this…"

Katie wrapped her arms around her. "Oh, Doc, none of us did. Please, don't apologize." Katie broke the embrace and pulled away to look at her. "You're feeling all right then?"

Kristin gave her a soft smile. "All things considered, yes, I suppose." That wasn't exactly the case, but she was trying to remain positive.

"Good. I also wanted to tell you that your lawyer called last night. She'd like you to give her a call as soon as you can."

"Oh, dear…" Kristin muttered. "I'd completely forgotten. Although she didn't say it directly, she implied she wanted me to call her to let her know I was okay. Did she seem upset?"

Katie shook her head. "She just sounded concerned."

"Um, I suppose I should call her then." She picked up the receiver and started to dial.

"I'll give you some privacy," Katie said quietly as the started to leave.

But Kristin stopped her. "It won't take long," she promised. She could tell Katie wanted some more time with her, and the feeling was mutual.

Katie gave her a smile and sat back down again.

A moment later, Kristin heard Reggie's voice saying, "Hello, Reggie Carrington, attorney at law."

"Reggie? This is Sylvia Mayfield."

"Oh, Sylvia! I've been so worried about you. Are you all right? Your friend had said you weren't feeling well."

"I am sorry I haven't contacted you since we spoke the other day. I've just had a lot going on. I've been fine."

"Well, that's good to hear. I'm so relieved. There's another reason I'm calling, actually. I was hoping you'd be able to come to my office tomorrow…do you have time tomorrow morning by chance?"

Kristin hesitated. "Um…"

Katie had overheard the conversation, however. She reached across the desk and pulled gently on Kristin's hand. "I can go with you," she offered.

"So, what do you say?" Reggie pressed. "It seems that the senator has agreed to sign the papers. To my knowledge, he's signing them tonight, and his lawyer is supposed to be sending them to my office. I expect them early in the morning, and I figured you'd want to get the show on the road, hm?"

"Um….well…" Kristin looked at Katie who was nodding her head up and down and moving her hands, indicating she wanted Kristin to accept.

"I'm waiting…."

"Okay," Kristin finally answered, since neither Katie nor Reggie seemed to want to take no for an answer. "We'll be there…nine o'clock sharp."

"Sounds good. See you then, darling."

When Kristin hung up the phone, she looked at Katie.

"Oh, it'll be fine," Katie said, waving a hand. "You know Doctor Levin can handle things. Besides, Ben's pretty excited about this party. He's already made quite a bit of headway on the planning, and he asked me if I'd help him. I agreed, and he's given me a list of things to pick up. So I thought might as well kill two birds with one stone. Besides, I want to meet this Reggie…and spend some girl time with you. We haven't had any of that lately."

Kristin sighed. "Well, I just don't want to be gone the whole day, but I suppose we could leave for an hour or two. I did tell Ben not to make a huge fuss, though."

"Oh, he's not. I promise you. It'll be exactly what you wanted," Katie said with a mysterious smile on her face. She gave Kristin's arm a gentle push. "So tell me more about this Reggie. She sounds lovely."

"Oh, she is," Kristin confirmed. "Really, there isn't a lot to tell, but she seems genuinely concerned about my…uh, _Sylvia's_ …situation."

"Well, I can't wait to meet her then." She looked at the clock. "Well, I do have a few things to do before I leave for the day, and the captain will be here soon. I'll see you in the morning?"

"Of course. I'm looking forward to it."

"Me too, Doc. Have a good night." With that, Katie opened the door and nearly bumped into Nathan. She looked back at Kristin. "Speak of the devil." She patted Nathan's arm. "Have a good night, Captain."

"You, too," Nathan replied, somewhat confused. When Katie was gone, he turned to Kristin and pointed a thumb towards the door. "She seems awfully cheery."

"Yes, well, she's happy that she and I will be spending some time together. We have a little shopping trip scheduled for the morning. And we're stopping to see Reggie as well. There's good news, apparently. Richard's agreed to sign the papers."

Nathan walked over to her and hugged her in greeting. "Oh, that is good news," he gushed. "And I'm glad you and Katie will have some bonding time as well. I've been rather selfish, keeping you away from all of them."

"Oh, it wasn't you. It was my fault for wanting to keep everything from them for so long," Kristin said. "I'm only grateful they're all so forgiving. I really don't deserve that."

Nathan scoffed. "What in the world makes you say that?"

She shrugged. "I'm just feeling a little guilty, I suppose. "

"Well, you have no reason to be."

"You sound like Katie," Kristin noted.

"You know, our lieutenant commander is a very smart woman; you should listen to her," Nathan told her.

Kristin sighed. "Point taken. Um, did you have any luck?"

Nathan shook his head. "I'm sorry. I even checked the admiral's office. It wasn't there. But I'm sure it'll turn up."

Kristin nodded sadly. "I'm still angry at myself for even taking it off. I do hope you're right."

"I'm sure I am." He lifted her chin up gently. "Put a smile on, okay? I was thinking we could go out for dinner. I know this great little seaside café…"

She smiled softly. "Well, that does sound lovely."

"And maybe a moonlit walk on the beach after that?"

"Hmmm…" Kristin said. "That would definitely keep my mind off of other things."

"Exactly." He offered his arm. "So, let's go home and change." Nathan decided it was best not to mention his little meeting with the admiral and the secretary general. It would only get her more upset, and he wanted to avoid that.

"Lead the way, Captain."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Bill Noyce swore in frustration. He had been calling families of the crew for the past forty-eight hours…slowly. He started with the families of the junior staff first, hoping that he'd be interrupted by a news bulletin saying that _seaQuest_ was indeed found and that its crew was alive and perfectly well. No such luck, however.

"…please know I am so very sorry for your loss," Bill said as he cut the vid-link call. He'd just finished informing the last family that their only son was possibly dead. He shook his head as he crossed off the last junior staff member name on his list that sat in front of him on his desk.

He then turned it over where the names of the senior staff members were listed. He was just about to dial when there was a knock on the doorframe.

"Sweetheart, you've been at this for hours. Aren't you going to eat dinner? It's getting cold." It was his wife, Janet.

"I will soon. I just want to make one last phone call."

Janet sighed and gave her husband a small hug and rubbed his shoulder. "Well, after that, will you come and eat, please? I don't like eating alone. Maybe there'll be good news tomorrow?" She had said that every day since this all started; Nathan was a long-time friend, and she hated the thought of him being gone forever. She didn't know the rest of the crew very well, but she certainly prayed for their safe return.

"Maybe," Bill replied, but he didn't sound very hopeful. He'd just about given up on hope, much as it pained him. "Just as soon as I make this call."

Janet gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck." With that, she left the room.

Bill turned back to the vid-screen and began to dial the number of Lawrence Wolenczak.


	25. And You Feel Too Much

**December 5, 1941**

Nathan was in the kitchen making food since he had wanted to surprise Kristin with breakfast in bed. She was still sleeping, and considering the night she'd had, Nathan wanted to let her sleep as long as he could.

They'd gone to the café, but Nathan knew she was still upset about the ring and about Knox. He still kept his conversation with Knox and Beatty a secret because he knew it would only get her more worked up than she already was. And because of all the worry, she didn't eat much. He noticed that she had probably lost about five pounds since they'd been on Oahu. Normally, that wouldn't be much, but Nathan couldn't help but notice her clothing fitting looser than it had been on their first day in Pearl.

That's why he'd made waffles and sausage. He knew she loved waffles, and he hoped she'd at least eat a full meal, something he hadn't seen her do much of lately. He piled everything on a tray and cups of coffee besides; then he carried it into the bedroom. When he entered bedroom, he saw she was still sleeping soundly. He set the tray down and sat down next to her, just watching her for a few minutes.

He lovingly brushed the hair off her face ever so gently so he didn't wake her. He noticed she looked a little pale, and she had dark circles under her eyes. He sighed knowingly. They'd passed a sad night. After dinner, they had gone for that walk along the beach; Nathan had hoped it would calm her…and it did for the most part. But naturally, the conversation went from speaking about the water and the moonlight to more ominous things. And poor Kristin expressed even more worries about Knox to Nathan.

Nathan felt he couldn't confirm or deny anything and simply listened and did his best to comfort her. After a while, they decided they ought to go back to the apartment and try to rest. Nathan held her until she fell asleep, and when she did, he joined her. But then the nightmares began.

She would only tell him that they involved Knox, but she wouldn't tell him what they were about. Although he wanted to, he didn't want to press the issue. He just allowed her to cry on his shoulder and he tried to comfort her. He'd finally got her back to sleep around four in the morning. He sighed again because he couldn't let her sleep any longer because it was now after six, and Katie was supposed to be showing up shortly.

He gently shook her shoulder. "Good morning."

Her eyes fluttered open. She looked a little startled, but she offered him a small smile. "Hi."

"I'm sorry I had to wake you."

"Oh, don't worry about it." She stretched and let out a yawn. "I feel fine," she assured him.

Nathan doubted her sincerity, but he didn't push it. "I made you breakfast. I wanted to eat with you before I left."

She pushed herself out of bed and started towards the bathroom. "I'll just be a minute, then."

When she came out, Nathan had set the tray in the middle of the bed. He patted the open spot next to him so that she'd sit.

"This looks lovely," she said quietly. "Thank you." She picked up a cup of coffee and took a sip.

Nathan watched her for a moment. At least the coffee was something, but he handed her a piece of sausage. "Go on, eat," he urged.

She hesitated. Food wasn't the first thing on her mind.

"Please?" Nathan pressed.

She took it from him and took a bite.

"Thank you," Nathan said, looking relieved.

"I'm just not very hungry lately," she replied, but she ate the whole piece of sausage and even started on a waffle, so Nathan stopped complaining.

"Uh, so, you and Katie will be back before lunch, right?"

She smiled softly. "Yes…are you worrying already?"

"No…yes…" He sighed. "I'm always worrying about you lately," he admitted. "I just don't like not being able to be with you."

Kristin placed a hand to his cheek. "And I appreciate that, more than you know. I promise everything will be fine."

Nathan nodded, and the two finished their meal. He then brought the tray into the kitchen. "Don't worry about these dishes now."

She laughed softly. "I won't have the time, admittedly."

"Good," Nathan replied upon entering the bedroom once again. He wrapped her in his arms and held her for several minutes. "Just be careful."

She nodded. "Of course. Don't worry."

He kissed her cheek. "See you at lunch."

"At lunch," she promised.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin quickly showered and dressed, and by the time she was finished, Katie was knocking on the door.

Kristin grabbed her purse and opened the door since she noticed Katie had the cab driver waiting.

Once in the cab, Katie turned to her. "So how are you?"

"Fine."

"That's it?" Katie pressed. She looked her up and down, trying to wage if she was being honest. "Are you sure?"

Kristin sighed. "Well, physically, I'm fine. Mentally? Well, perhaps not so well," she admitted. "It's Sylvia's ring. I lost it…and I'm just feeling…strange without it. And of course, with tomorrow just hours away now…"

Katie put an arm around her shoulders. "It's going to be okay. I know everyone's worried, but I have a good feeling. I'm certain you'll be fine."

"I do hope so," Kristin replied. But she quickly changed the subject, not wanting to dwell on tomorrow's possible events. "So what does Ben want you to get?"

Katie took out her list. "Just a list of party decorations and things. It shouldn't take long to get. Then I was thinking we could pick up some new outfits. What do you say?"

"I'm not sure…"

Katie gave her arm a push. "Oh, come on, Doc. I definitely think you should have a new dress."

Before Kristin could answer, the cab came to a halt. Kristin looked out the window and realized they were on Main Street. Katie paid the driver and the two ladies got out of the cab.

"There's a party shop down this way," Katie told her, and the two started walking.

On the way, they passed a clothing store with a large display window. In the window were several dresses on display.

Katie stopped in her tracks. "Oh, those look darling, don't they?"

Kristin turned and looked in the window as well. Some of the dresses were every day dresses, much like the ones she and Katie were wearing, only in different shades. But then there were cocktail dresses and fancier dresses that captured the Polynesian style, having themes of flowers.

Katie grabbed her arm. "Let's go inside."

But Kristin hesitated. "I don't need-"

"Oh, come on, Doc. Don't you want something new? Something that will capture the captain's attention?" She pointed to the one with the flower pattern. "I'll bet he won't be able to take his eyes off of you in that one."

Kristin felt her face go warm with embarrassment. She lowered her voice as if someone might hear. "I have no idea what you are insinuating, Katie dear, but Nathan and I are just friends. I…I am not trying to turn his head."

Katie smiled. "Okay…sorry, I wasn't trying to make you flustered. Well, _I'm_ going inside because I want something new myself. I'm on a shopping trip, and I want to do some shopping. And you know how long it's been since we've gotten to do that."

Kristin had little choice but to follow her inside. Once inside, however, Kristin did see there was more of a selection. And she did see something out of the corner of her eye that she liked. Maybe this dress idea wasn't such a bad one after all.

They were approached by a dark-haired sales woman immediately. "Can I help you, ladies?"

"Yes, my friend and I are looking for party dresses," Katie quickly answered.

Kristin gave her a look, but Katie ignored her.

"Oh, well, we have a wonderful selection. Um, why don't you browse and tell me if you see anything you like?"

Katie nodded as the saleswoman turned to approach another new customer.

"I told you I wasn't interested," Kristin whispered.

"That's what you said, but that's not what your eyes said when you spotted that blue one over there," Katie countered, an amused smile on her face.

Kristin blushed. "I didn't think you'd notice."

"Well, I did," Katie confirmed. She pulled on Kristin's arm. "Come on, let's get a closer look."

Kristin obediently followed Katie over to the other side of the store where different clothing racks stood. Katie selected one of the blue dresses that had caught Kristin's eye and held it up in front of her. It was nothing terribly fancy: short capped sleeves, a slight V-neck collar, and a straight skirt that was gathered together by a matching belt.

"Oh," Katie breathed. "It really brings out your eyes…and your hair. It's perfect."

"You really think so?"

" _I_ certainly do," an unfamiliar voice said.

Kristin and Katie turned to see a woman who was around Kristin's age or perhaps even a bit older. She had blonde hair gathered in a bun on her head and was wearing a green skirt with a white blouse.

The woman held out her hand in greeting. "I'm sorry if you thought I was rude. My name's Margot. Pleased to meet you. Anyway, I agree with your friend here. That dress is perfect. You should buy it," she stated, a friendly smile on her face.

"Thank you," Kristin said, blushing again. "Perhaps I'll take that advice. By the way, this is Rose, and I'm Sylvia."

"Sylvia? Sylvia Mayfield, by chance?"

"Yes…" Kristin replied.

"I thought you looked familiar. I've seen your picture in the papers. I always thought you seemed like a nice person…and so pretty, too."

Kristin blushed and smiled softly. "Well, thank you. I appreciate you saying so. I-"

"Such a shame about you and your husband though."

"Yes, I-"

"Too bad I was wrong about you."

"E-excuse me?" Kristin asked, slightly taken aback.

Margot gave her a disdainful look. "I am a good Christian woman, and I thought you were, too. But divorce is an _abomination._ Marriage is _forever_." She handed over a daily newspaper. On the front page was more about the divorce, which wasn't anything new. But it then showed a picture of Kristin and Nathan, claiming that to be the reason for the divorce. "You should be ashamed of yourself."

Katie opened her mouth to speak, but Kristin placed a halting hand on her arm.

"I…I'm sorry I've let you down, ma'am," she said quietly. Then she put the dress back on the rack and gave Katie's arm a tug. "I think we'd better go."

Katie reluctantly followed her, but once they were outside, she protested, "Doc, you know none of that is true. Why did you let that woman walk all over you like that?"

"Katie, it's the time period. Divorce isn't accepted, as you can see." Then she handed her the newspaper. "And look at the things they've written about me."

"But you know none of this is true," Katie said again. "You haven't done anything to be ashamed about."

"Maybe I have," Kristin said with a shrug.

"How can you say that?"

"Why don't we just go down to the party shop, hm?" Kristin said, ignoring Katie's question. She turned to start walking down the street again.

She heard Katie run to catch up to her. "You're wrong," Katie insisted once she'd matched her pace.

"Fine," Kristin answered, too frustrated to argue.

"Why don't we go back to the dress shop? You said it yourself you liked it."

Kristin stopped in her tracks, knowing Katie wasn't going to stop harping on her. "Katie, please…"

Katie put her hands on Kristin's shoulders. "The Kristin I knew would never back down like this."

"I'm _not_ the Kristin you knew," she answered sadly, "not anymore at least. It doesn't even have to do with that woman. I just didn't know the press would bring the captain's name into this mess." She then looked down. "And perhaps you're correct about him…and me…and…and I just…I feel so…helpless with everything. I'm just not in the mood. Honestly, I just want to go to the party shop, get what we need, go see Reggie, and leave. I'm not trying to be rude. I just want to go back to where I feel comfortable."

Katie sighed. "I understand that, and I didn't mean to-"

Kristin waved a hand. "Don't worry about it." She didn't want Katie feeling guilty, but she suspected she already did.

The two then walked to the party shop in silence. Thank goodness it was empty. Katie tried to be as quick as possible since she noticed how much the little incident at the dress shop had affected Kristin. But she had a plan, and she hoped Kristin wouldn't mind when everything was said and done. Katie quickly paid for the decorations and lanterns Ben wanted and the two walked back down the street to Reggie's office.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Oh, come on in," Reggie greeted them with a smile. She then noticed the look on Kristin's face. "Is something wrong?" she asked worriedly.

"I…" Kristin began, unsure if she wanted to dump her problems on Reggie.

Katie handed over the newspaper article. "She just got a lecture in the dress shop from someone who disagreed with her decision."

Reggie looked over the article and frowned. "Well, I did warn you that the press would say things."

Kristin nodded. "I know. I'm fine…really."

Reggie gave her arm a tight squeeze. "Well, that's good to hear." She turned to Katie and held out her hand. "I'm Reggie, by the way."

"I'm-"

"No, let me guess," Reggie interrupted. "You must be the friend taking care of Sylvia. She mentioned you."

Katie smiled. "Yes, I'm Rose."

"Well, it's lovely to meet you, darling," Reggie gushed. She motioned to the chairs. "Why don't you two have a seat? Unfortunately, I haven't received the papers just yet, but I expect them any minute. Do you mind waiting?"

Kristin and Katie exchanged a glance.

"I guess we haven't a choice," Kristin said, taking a seat.

"Oh, no," Katie said, sounding dismayed. "I just remembered I forgot one thing on Teddy's list." She placed a hand on Kristin's shoulder. "I'll be right back, okay?"

Kristin gave her a look. She had a sinking suspicion about what Katie really forgot and that it wasn't at the party shop. "Don't be long then."

Katie smiled. "I won't be; I promise."

"And, Rose?" Kristin called, having an afterthought.

"Yes?"

"I wear a size six."

Katie chuckled softly. "You know me too well." And with that she left.

Reggie turned to Kristin. "What was that all about?"

Kristin waved a hand. "Oh, nothing…Rose is just being…a good friend, I suppose. Um, how long do you think it will be?"

"Let me make a quick phone call and double check," Reggie replied. She then dialed the phone and waited a few moments.

Kristin could only hear Reggie's end of the conversation, however.

"Hello, Randall. This is Reggie; I was wondering if you've sent over those papers for the Mayfield divorce yet? We're waiting on them. In fact, Sylvia…" Reggie paused while Kristin surmised the other person was speaking. "What?" Reggie said in shock. "No, that isn't going to…I see. Well, if that's the way he feels about it then. Uh-huh. I see. Yes, I know. I just… Okay. We'll be in touch then. Goodbye." Reggie then hung up the phone and gave Kristin a sympathetic look. "Well, I'm afraid there's bad news."

Kristin nodded. "Well, I kind of guessed. What is it?"

"Richard's changed his mind."

"But that's not necessarily a bad thing, right? You already told me that a judge might be sympathetic to my case… "

Reggie held up the daily newspaper. "But stories like _this_ could prevent that. It's going to be better for you if we can get him to agree."

"I really thought he would…"

A few minutes later, Katie returned, another shopping bag in her hand. She sat next to Kristin with a satisfied smile upon her face. But then she noticed the look on her face. "What's wrong?"

"It seems that the senator has changed his mind about signing the papers," Kristin told her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," Katie replied, placing a comforting hand on Kristin's shoulder.

"I am too," Reggie stated. "I feel bad for dragging you down here, but I am glad I got to see you."

Kristin smiled. "Well, I appreciate everything you've done." She and Katie stood to leave.

"You don't worry about this now; you let me worry about it, okay? And I promise I'll be in touch," Reggie told her, placing her hand on Kristin's shoulder. "Do you still have my phone number?"

Kristin nodded.

"Well, my offer still stands. If you need anything, please don't hesitate."

"I won't," Kristin promised as she and Katie went on their way.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Reggie watched them leave and was about to take care of some paperwork when she felt a hand on her shoulder that made her jump. She turned around to see who it was. "Are you _crazy_?" she chided, trying to keep her voice down. "Someone could have seen you."

"Relax, I came in the back way. No one saw," Richard told her. "Besides, I missed you." He placed a hungry kiss to her lips.

Reggie broke the kiss after a few moments. "Likewise, darling, but we'd already discussed why we need to be discreet. Besides, once you take care of that little thing we discussed, there'll be plenty of time for that."

Richard looked sheepish. "Yeah…about that…"

"What?" Reggie asked angrily. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"N-no…not exactly…I…"

Reggie grabbed him by the tie and pulled hard. "No, _you_ listen to me, you spineless twerp, we'd already promised one another we wouldn't deviate from the plan. I've held up my end of the bargain, and you'd better hold up yours or so help me, I'll ruin you. And you know I can do it."

Richard gasped for air. "Y-yes, dear. Whatever you say, dear."

Reggie released him and smiled, looking rather amused. "I _love_ it when I can make you squirm." She patted his cheek. "As long as we have an understanding. Now, you'd better leave before someone sees you."


	26. And You Don't Know How You're Gonna Last

The rest of the morning was quiet. Kristin and Katie made it back to the base without incident. Joshua had been a dear; he'd taken all the patients so Kristin would have the rest of the morning off. She couldn't say she was upset about that. Although she usually liked keeping busy, she didn't mind having the time to herself. She opted to do paper work for the rest of the morning. It was tedious, but it was something. She didn't even realize when the clock struck noon.

A short time later, Nathan appeared in her doorway. He knocked twice before entering. He gave her a smile, relieved to see her. "Glad to see you made it back in one piece."

"Did you have any doubt?" she asked him. She stood and walked around her desk to give him a quick hug. "I told you there was nothing to worry about."

"I'm just glad you're back," Nathan replied, not saying anything further on the matter. "So how did it go?"

She shrugged. "The shopping went well."

"And everything went as planned at Reggie's?" Nathan pressed.

"Not exactly," she said with a sigh. "The senator changed his mind. Now, normally, that isn't a bad thing because I could still get a divorce on the grounds of cruelty whether he signs the papers or not."

"Normally?" Nathan asked. "So there's a _but_ coming up?"

She hesitated for a moment. "Have you seen a newspaper today?"

He shook his head. "I'm thinking I won't be happy when I do."

She took the one Katie had given her and handed it to him. "Reggie says that a judge might not be so sympathetic if he thinks there's something immoral going on between you and me," she said quietly.

Nathan read the story to himself and couldn't believe it.

"I…I never guessed they'd drag your name into it, too," Kristin continued apologetically. "I do hope you don't get in any trouble with the admiral or the secretary general."

Nathan put the paper down on the desk and put a hand under her chin. He lifted gently so she'd look at him. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"But it's my fault that-"

"No, it _isn't_ ," Nathan assured her. "We both know none of this is true."

She nodded. "I know, but a judge isn't going to care. Honestly, I'm not even worried about that since I don't think we're going to be here long enough where that will be a concern." She paused for a moment, holding his gaze. "My concern is _you_. We already know that Secretary Knox seems to be… _interested_ in us for whatever reason. I-"

"Don't worry," Nathan interrupted. "I can handle Knox…but I doubt he'll say anything."

"You're sure?"

Nathan wrapped her in a tight hug. "Yes, I'm sure. Please, don't worry, okay?"

She nodded. "I'll try."

"Good…now how about some lunch? I thought we could go down to the docks like yesterday. How does that sound?"

"Wonderful," she confirmed.

The two walked out to the docks together. They passed some of the other crew members along the way and offered some quick greetings as they passed.

It wasn't long before they saw Katie. She offered them a smile. "It looks like you're feeling a little better now," she said to Kristin.

"I suppose," Kristin answered. "I really haven't much of a reason to worry about the senator."

"That's not what I meant," Katie said with a slight frown.

Kristin didn't exactly want Nathan to know what had happened back at the dress shop. "Oh…yes, I'm fine. Everything's fine," she replied in an over-compensating manner. She looked at Nathan. "Could...could you excuse us for just a moment, please?"

Nathan gave her a strange look, but stepped back. "I won't go far." He went over to talk with Lucas, keeping a watchful eye on the two women.

"I don't want Nathan to know about the dress shop incident," Kristin said quietly.

"I'm sorry if I've said too much, but, Doc, I don't think-"

Kristin shook her head. "I'd just like to keep it between us for now…please? I'm embarrassed enough, and I just want to forget it."

Katie nodded. "Okay." She put an arm around Kristin's shoulders. "But it really is nothing to be embarrassed about."

Kristin simply nodded.

The two remained quiet for a moment. Katie wanted to try to cheer Kristin up. She elbowed her gently and said, "Did you try on the dress at least?"

Kristin blushed slightly. "No…I'd forgotten."

"Well, try it after lunch, okay? I want to know how it fits in case we need to make a quick stop before the party." She gave Kristin's hand a squeeze. "I'd better let you go so you can spend time with him."

"Thanks, Katie…for everything."

"Anytime, Doc." Katie turned to leave when she had an afterthought. She turned back to her. "Doc?"

"Yes?"

"Just remember he'll love it," Katie said with a smile before turning again.

Kristin felt her face go warm and jumped slightly when she felt the unexpected hand of Nathan on her shoulder.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Is…is everything all right?" he asked worriedly upon seeing her face.

"Y-yes, everything's fine," Kristin assured him. And without missing a beat, she took his hand and pulled gently before they happened to meet up with anyone else.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"So what was Katie talking about?" Nathan asked after they'd found a comfortable spot on the dock. Just like the day before, they got sandwiches from a nearby cart. Nathan was pleased to see that Kristin was at least eating this time. She'd only taken a bite, but it was something.

"What?" Kristin asked, somewhat dismayed.

"She had said, 'Just remember he'll love it'. What did she mean?" Nathan asked.

"Oh…well…" she hesitated. "We did a little shopping."

"Yes, I know," Nathan said. "You told me you were going for party supplies."

"We got a few other things as well." She took another bite of her sandwich.

"Care to elaborate?" Nathan pressed.

She smiled softly. "What's with the twenty questions all of a sudden?" She sighed. "Look, it wasn't my idea; it was Katie's. I'd like it to be a surprise, though, okay?"

Nathan nodded. "Okay. I'm sorry. I'm just-"

"Worried, I know," Kristin finished for him.

"More like concerned," Nathan corrected. "So are you looking forward to the evening's festivities?"

She shrugged. "Partly." She looked out over the water for a moment before continuing. "The other part doesn't want it to happen because that means…" She turned to him. "It's the last night here, as far as we know. The last night we'll all be together…"

Nathan shook his head. "We don't know that last part for sure."

"I know...I'm still a little worried."

Nathan put his arms around her, trying to comfort her. "I already told you I don't plan on letting you go."

She smiled softly. "And I appreciate that…more than you know. But…"

"This party wasn't planned to make you feel sad, you know."

She nodded. "I know. It's supposed to be a happy time."

"Then let's make it so. Sylvia will handle the rest."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Meanwhile, downtown, Reggie closed her office early for the day. She put on her sunglasses and drove to the Mayfield residence, being sure that no one was following her. Richard was there waiting for her with lunch on the table, a bouquet of roses in his hand.

She sauntered up to him seductively and kissed him passionately. "Now that's how you make an entrance," she purred into his ear when she broke the kiss.

"You can say that again," Richard replied dreamily.

She smacked his cheek gently. "Don't think that means you're off the hook for your little slip-up earlier, however."

"It wasn't a slip-up," he countered. "No one saw me."

She raised an eyebrow. "Well, you still broke our rule."

" _Your_ rule," Richard corrected. "I never agreed to anything."

Reggie sat down at the table and leaned back in her chair, crossing her long, shapely legs over the corner of the table. She then reached into her purse and took out a cigarette.

As if on cue, Richard lit it for her.

She smiled. "You do seem to be very eager to atone," she noted.

"I've already told you how I feel about you," Richard told her. "I thought you believed me."

"I do…but there is one little thing making me have doubts." She gave him a look.

Richard sighed. "I don't understand why I couldn't just sign the papers and be done with the whole thing. That's what Sylvia wants, isn't it?"

"She says that's what she wants, and I believe her on that account. What I _don't_ believe is that she has no desire for anything you own." She glared at him. "Please, _no one_ is that angelic." She took a puff on her cigarette.

"But Sylvia isn't that kind of person," Richard said. "She never was very interested in money or expensive things."

Reggie exhaled, blowing smoke into the air. She then scoffed. "Now you're defending her? I thought you said you no longer loved her?" Then she added, "And you seem to forget this is not my first rodeo. I've seen it before. The wife wants a divorce from her cruel husband. The wife claims she doesn't want any money whatsoever, that she only wants to be free of his evil clutches. Then once we're in court, it's a-whole-nother story. It never fails."

"I don't love her," Richard insisted. "That ship sailed a long time ago, I promise you, but Sylvia isn't like other women. She's educated. She has the means to make her own money if she needs. She doesn't need my money or anyone else's."

Reggie raised an eyebrow and eyed him suspiciously. "Necessity is _not_ the same thing as desire, you know. And I'm not quite sure I believe you." She brought her cigarette to her lips and inhaled again.

"I've already told you I love you. I'll do anything to prove it," Richard promised. "I…I'll do whatever you ask…including following through with the plan…"

Reggie smiled, looking quite pleased. "I admit, I was beginning to have my doubts, especially about what you said earlier. But I'm quite happy you've reconsidered."

"I…I have," Richard said nervously. "So what is it I do again?"

Reggie rolled her eyes. "We've been over this a thousand times."

"I just need to make sure I get it right."

She sighed. "Very well. Tomorrow night, you give her a call. First, you're going to apologize, tell her how sorry you are about everything. You tell her that you'll sign the papers as long as she agrees to see you one last time."

"What if she says no?" Richard asked worriedly.

"Please, I know this woman already. Sylvia might be book smart, but she is _not_ street smart. She'll do anything you say because she so desperately wants her fairy tale happiness with her prince charming. Of course she'll agree."

Richard sighed. "Okay…then what?"

Reggie shrugged. "I think that part should be up to you. Really, I don't care how you do it, just make sure you get it done. And make sure you hide the body."

Richard nodded sadly. "And what about once people realize she's missing?"

"We tell them she ran off, eager to start her new life. Her poor captain will be heartbroken, but he won't have anything to go on because you'll be careful not to leave any clues," she said, patting his cheek, "won't you?"

Richard nodded. "Of course, darling."

Reggie smiled. "Let's eat then. And if you're a good boy, you might get some dessert."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Do you have a busy afternoon ahead of you?" Nathan continued to make small talk, hoping to keep her mind off of other things.

She shrugged. "Since I returned, all I've had to do is paperwork. Joshua was kind enough to give me the morning off, so he took on all the patients. He's really too kind to me sometimes."

Nathan laughed softly. "We'll see if that carries over to twelve hour shifts once we get back home," he mused.

She smiled. "Well, maybe not, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts."

"You know he'd let you have the whole day off if you wanted."

"Perhaps…" She looked at him. "What are you saying?"

"I have the afternoon off…and so do you," Nathan said with a satisfied smile.

"What?"

"I spoke with Joshua this morning. He told me it didn't look to be a very busy day anyway, so I asked him if he could go easy on you."

"Go easy on me?" she repeated.

"Well, yes…we all thought you'd appreciate the break…considering. I was thinking we could do something, just you and me." He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze.

But Kristin pulled away. She stood and walked a few feet away, her back turned. "I never asked for a break, Nathan," she said flatly.

"I…I know," Nathan said, standing up and walking towards her. "We all know that, but-"

She looked at him, her arms crossed. "You were just doing what was best for me?" she finished.

"Exactly," Nathan replied, taking a step towards her. "Under the circumstances, we-" The fact Kristin backed away made him stop mid-sentence. "What's wrong?"

"I don't need all of you deciding what's best for me," she said quietly, avoiding his gaze. "I think I am quite capable of doing that on my own."

"Kristin, you know we didn't mean it like that," Nathan countered. "It's just that we thought-"

She looked at him. "I know what you thought, and I suppose I can't blame you or Joshua or anyone else…but no, I don't need time off. I actually enjoy seeing the patients. That's the only time I feel like I have things under control. That's the only small bit of normalcy I have in all the chaos; I mean, besides all of you, that is. Quite honestly, if I didn't have the clinic, I'd probably have gone mad by now."

"We never meant to cross a boundary, you know. We just thought you would appreciate a break," Nathan said apologetically.

"I know; I understand."

"Look, how about I start over? I have the afternoon off, and I would love it if you would accompany me on some sort of outing. Perhaps a movie? A stroll along the Boardwalk? I honestly don't care as long as I'm with you. But of course, only if you truly want to. If you would rather work at the clinic, I'm certainly not going to argue. I'll find a way to occupy myself in the meantime," Nathan told her.

Kristin couldn't help but laugh softly. "You really are the charmer, aren't you?"

Nathan gave her an innocent look. "Who, me?"

She sighed. "When you put it that way, I guess spending the afternoon with you rather than doing paperwork does sound more appealing. But perhaps we should just stay in for the afternoon?"

"Are you sure?" Nathan asked. He tried to hide his disappointment, but he didn't do a very good job of it. "I just thought you'd want to do something more…adventurous. Like when we went dancing?"

Kristin smiled softly. "Nathan, I'm not saying I don't want to have fun with you. In fact, it isn't you at all."

"Then what is it exactly?"

"Aren't you the least bit concerned about the article? Nathan, they're watching us, and I'm not sure we want to advertise…well, whatever it is we're advertising. If we were back on _seaQuest,_ the situation would be entirely different. But I'm supposed to be a married woman, at least until those papers are signed. And this little situation is quite a scandal."

Nathan sighed. "But everyone knows-"

Kristin shook her head. "No, Nathan, everyone _doesn't_ know or it wouldn't be in the papers. Perhaps you can't understand because it isn't the same for you." She turned to start walking back up the beach.

Nathan ran to catch up with her. "Did Sylvia say something?"

"No."

"Then I don't think we should worry," Nathan replied. "I thought there was no right or wrong here."

Kristin stopped. "I know, but…I just think we need to be more careful. I just don't want to do anything that would attract unnecessary attention."

"Something happened," Nathan said after a brief moment of silence.

"What?"

"Something happened…in town, didn't it?" Nathan pressed.

Kristin turned away from him. "And what would it matter if it did? My point is, Nathan, that we need to be careful. I told you that from the moment we got here. But neither of us really listened. I admit, I take part of the blame…but for the rest of our time here, perhaps-"

"So what are you saying? You want to go back to Katie's?"

"No…I just think we need to be more discreet. And I'm not just saying that for my _own_ protection."

"I've already told you, I'm not w-"

"You seem to be forgetting one very important thing," Kristin interrupted.

"What's that?"

Kristin sighed and brought a hand to his cheek. "Nathan, you've been so sweet to me, so kind, so protective…and I need you to know how very grateful I am for that. But in all this time, you've never asked the question you should have. In fact, I didn't even think of it until just this morning…when I saw the paper. We don't know what happens to you."

"What?"

"Well, Jack, rather," Kristin continued. "Lucas' Internex article," she explained. "We already know what happens to Sylvia. We know Richard dies eventually. But we don't know what happens to Jack. Maybe you're not worried about it, but I certainly am." She was sure she caught his gaze on her last few words.

"Kristin, you…I'm sure a little outing isn't going to affect my…rather, Jack's fate."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I…I guess I can't, but-"

"Look, Nathan, truth told, I did have a little encounter downtown with a disgruntled fan of Sylvia's. Well, I should say ex-fan. She was apparently not too happy about the divorce, being the good Christian woman she is. And frankly, I don't want that kind of attention, whether it's warranted or not. I think Sylvia is in enough trouble as it is, and I don't want to increase it. I have enough to handle as it is," Kristin told him. "If this were 2019, I'd love nothing more than to go to a movie with you. But right now…"

Nathan sighed and put his arms around her. "You don't need to explain. I understand, and I'm sorry I didn't quite get it before. I just thought…"

"I know," Kristin said, snuggling into him. "I just want us to be more careful…just in case. You don't want to lose me…but I don't want to lose you either."

He nodded. "I promise to be more careful then. Why don't we go back to the base? I think the lunch hour is already over."

"I think so, too," Kristin said sadly. "I suppose I need to go tell Joshua I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off."

Nathan gave her a look. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "I'm sure we can think of something to do indoors, hm?"

Nathan smiled. "Of course."


	27. But Everyone You Know

The two made their way back to the base, walking arm in arm. Since the lunch hour was over, there wasn't the risk of running into anyone who might frown upon a public display of affection like that. And Nathan could sense Kristin needed the small bit of physical comfort, judging by the look on her face. As they neared the parking lot, she laid her head on his shoulder, telling him it was what she needed indeed.

He put his arm around her shoulder and hugged her close. "Thank you."

"For what?" she asked, looking up at him.

"For this…for still letting me hold you, show you affection. After what you said back there…"

Kristin brought a hand to his cheek. "Oh, Nathan…I never said you needed to stop. I just said we needed to be careful."

Nathan placed a kiss to her cheek. "I am so glad of that because I don't think I could stop." He brought his face closer to hers, almost close enough to capture her lips.

Kristin felt her breath catch in her throat in anticipation.

But Nathan moved past her mouth and spoke softly into her ear, "And I hope you never ask me to."

Kristin felt her face grow warm. She was quite unsure of what to say. She simply nodded and whispered, "I won't." She was about to place a gentle kiss on his cheek when she heard a familiar sound, the clearing of one's throat.

She and Nathan both turned to see Secretary Knox.

"Ah, there're the two lovebirds," he said, a strange looking smile on his face.

Kristin and Nathan instinctively pulled away from one another, turning their attention toward the secretary.

"Uh, hello, sir," Nathan replied, sounding somewhat nervous. "We were just-"

The secretary waved a hand. "Oh, you don't need to explain anything to me. I don't judge."

Nathan relaxed a bit, but he felt Kristin's hand grip his arm as the secretary took a step closer to her. He placed a reassuring arm around her waist.

"Was there something you needed, sir?" Nathan asked.

"Not particularly," the secretary answered. "I was just on my way to a meeting when I saw the two of you. I thought I'd come over and say hello." He eyed Kristin and reached for her hand.

She hesitated but allowed him to take it. She cringed slightly when he placed a gentle kiss to the back of her hand.

"Hello, Doctor."

"H-hello," she said quietly, grateful that the secretary had released her hand.

"You seem much happier with the captain here," he noted. "He's a good man."

Kristin nodded and exchanged a glance with Nathan. "Yes, he is."

The secretary moved to stand between them, placing one arm around Nathan's shoulder and the other around Kristin's. "I'm just so happy for you two."

"Thank you, sir," Nathan replied, somewhat unsure of why the secretary was suddenly so interested in them.

Knox then turned to Kristin. "And if he doesn't measure up, you come to me, Sylvia."

"W-what?"

"I'll give him a stern talking to if he doesn't treat you right," the secretary explained.

"Oh…I…well…" Kristin replied nervously, giving Nathan a desperate look.

"You don't need to worry about that, sir," Nathan recovered quickly. "Now we really hate to run, but we had plans and-"

"Oh, it's no problem; as I said, I was on my way to a meeting myself. I just wanted to be sure you two were all right. I did see that unfortunate article in the paper this morning. I hope you don't let it get to you."

"Not at all, sir."

"Good," the secretary replied, removing his arms and stepping away from them. He turned to walk away, but had an afterthought. He turned back to Nathan. "You remember what I said before; you keep a tight hold on her, Jack." And with that, the secretary turned, whistling _Blue Champagne_ as he walked.

Nathan instinctively wrapped Kristin in a quick hug. "Easy; easy," he whispered. "It's okay."

She nodded against his chest. "I didn't like him touching me."

"I know," he replied. "But it's over." He lifted her chin gently. "Are you all right?"

She nodded. "Let's go speak with Joshua so we can go home."

Nathan smiled softly. "Yes, ma'am."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan waited patiently in her office while Kristin went to speak with Joshua.

Of course, Joshua had no problem whatsoever with her taking the afternoon off since Nathan had already asked him to arrange it. "I'll see you tonight then."

She smiled and gave him a grateful hug. "Tonight," she promised. "Um, where's Rose?" Kristin wanted to explain things to her as well.

"Last I saw her she was in exam room one, preparing it for the next patient," he told her.

She thanked him and headed in that direction. She knocked gently and was pleased when she heard her voice.

"Doc, what a surprise," Katie said when Kristin had opened the door. "I didn't see you come back after lunch, and-"

"That's why I wanted to speak with you," Kristin answered. "Do you have a minute?"

"For you, I have two," Katie said with a wink. "What's up?"

"I'm taking the afternoon off; don't worry, though…I'll be with Nathan. I just wanted to tell you because…well, after this morning, I figured you'd-"

"Oh, Doc…you don't need to explain anything to me. I mean, I appreciate you telling me, but it…it was wrong of me to question you. You were right. We're in a different time here, and we should act accordingly. I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier," Katie said sincerely.

"Oh, Katie…I wasn't angry. You don't need-"

"Yes, I do," Katie insisted. "I wasn't very understanding. It's just that I had never seen you let anyone talk to you that way."

Kristin shrugged. "Well, don't worry; I don't plan to make a habit of it. In fact, when we get out of this mess, I'll probably be looking for someone to tell off. Better steer clear of me," she teased.

Katie laughed softly and gave Kristin a hug. "I don't think there'll be any chance of me wanting to avoid you. I'll see you tonight then."

Kristin returned the hug. "I'll be there with bells on."

"And a new dress," Katie added. "Don't forget to try it on."

Kristin nodded. "I won't. I'm sure it'll fit, though. I'm actually glad you decided to get it for me after all."

"I figured you needed something. Well, I better let you go then. Have fun."

"See you soon, Katie."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The drive back to Nathan's apartment was quiet and uneventful. Nathan noticed how quiet Kristin was; he reached over and took her hand in his. "You feeling all right?" he asked.

She gave him a weak smile. "I was just thinking about our little encounter with Secretary Knox," she admitted. "There's just something so…odd about his demeanor."

Nathan sighed. He had to admit, Knox did seem overly interested in them, and it did seem somewhat unnatural. But he wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt; he also wanted to chase away any bad thoughts Kristin might have in her mind. "I think he was just being nice."

She raised an eyebrow. "Nathan, please…are you really that oblivious?"

His eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Oblivious to what?"

"He was obviously making a pass at me. No, it wasn't direct, but what else do you think he meant when he said I could see him if you weren't, as he put it, 'measuring up'?" She shook her head. "I don't care what anyone says, there is something very ominous about the way he behaves towards me."

"Possibly," Nathan reluctantly agreed. "But that doesn't mean he's…the one, you know. And we promised we wouldn't sit here and worry about it."

Kristin looked down and nodded. "I…I know, and I'm sorry. I just…" her voice trailed off.

Nathan sighed and put his arm around her shoulders. He placed a delicate kiss to her temple. "I understand; don't worry. We just need to get your mind on something else." He thought for a moment. "So what is it you'd like to do this afternoon?"

She shrugged. "I honestly haven't thought about it."

Nathan gave her hand an encouraging squeeze. "We'll figure out something; don't worry."

A short time later, they arrived at the apartment. Kristin seemed to relax once within the shelter of the apartment walls. She sat down on the sofa and hugged a pillow to her chest.

Nathan sat next to her. "Feeling sleepy?"

She shook her head and leaned against his chest. "Not really…just glad to be here."

"Oh? Why is that?"

"Because I feel safe," she replied matter-of-factly. "Part of me wishes I didn't have to leave." She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm just glad you're here with me."

Nathan returned the embrace. "Oh, Kristin…" he said softly, "I'm glad I'm here with you, too." Nathan held her close for a long time. When he finally broke the hug, deciding he ought to try to think of something to get her mind off of everything, he could see she was crying. He brought a hand to her face and gently wiped the tears off her cheek. "Please, don't cry." He placed a kiss to her forehead. "Everything is going to be fine."

"I want so badly to believe that," she said through her tears, "but it's so hard when…"

"Sshh," Nathan urged. "I know, sweetheart, I know." He pulled her into his arms once again and sighed. "We can't do this all day. What would you like to do?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I suppose anything would be better than this," she said sadly.

"Indeed," Nathan agreed. He released her and handed her a tissue. "Dry those tears then."

"Where are you going?" she asked, dabbing at her eyes.

"You'll see," Nathan called from the other room.

Kristin could hear him rummaging around and making quite a bit of noise. "Do you need any help?" she called.

"No, I'm fine," Nathan called as he continued on his mission.

After several more noises that sounded like a small tornado, Nathan reappeared, his arms laden with several books and notecards.

"What _is_ all this?" Kristin asked, taking some of the books out of his arms and placing them on the table.

"I thought we'd play a little game," Nathan told her.

"What? Poker was too pedestrian for you?" she quipped.

Nathan chuckled. "At least you're not too upset to make jokes," he noted. "Well, you know as well as I do that poker isn't much fun with just the two of us. Really, no card games are outside of 'Go Fish'."

"I happen to like 'Go Fish'," Kristin replied.

Nathan smiled. "Yes, but I think you'll find this more interesting. And this also goes with our little Connections game from a few days ago," he explained. "I thought we'd create our own trivia game and see which of us can stump the other. What do you think?"

Kristin glanced at the books he'd brought out. Most of them were of a scientific or geographic nature, and that did spark her interest. She thought for a brief moment. Anything that didn't have to do with Richard Mayfield, Frank Knox, or have to do with Sylvia's demise was really what she needed. She sat down and took a note card from the pile. "That does sound like fun."

Nathan smiled, sounding rather pleased. "Oh, I forgot the pens." He walked across the room and retrieved them out of a drawer; he handed one to Kristin. "Now, we should set up the questions as if we were playing 'Trivial Pursuit' back in our time." He then left the room again, but continued talking. "And when we have a good group of questions written down, I thought we could use this." He reappeared holding a cribbage board, complete with pegs. "We can take turns asking one another questions."

"And whoever gets to the finish line first is the winner," Kristin finished.

"Exactly," Nathan replied. "I…I suppose it's a little silly. I-"

Kristin stood and took the wooden board from him and set it down on the table. Then she placed her hands on his shoulders. "No, Nathan, it isn't silly. I really don't know how to thank you. Never in my life has any man gone to such lengths to help me through a difficult time."

"Well, I'm sure you've never gone through anything like this," he noted.

She smiled softly. "Well, no…but that doesn't mean I'm a stranger to hard times." She placed a kiss to his cheek. "You're very creative. Thank you."

"I just hope it helps to ease your mind."

"It already is," she told him.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

An hour and a half later, the game was in full swing.

"Okay," Nathan said, picking up a card from the pile in front of him. "What is the only capital letter in the Roman alphabet with exactly one end point?"

"That's easy," Kristin stated. So far Nathan hadn't been able to stump her. But she really didn't know the answer.

"Time's ticking," Nathan said after a moment.

"I'm thinking," she replied. "Could I write something down?"

Nathan laughed. "You're three questions ahead of me, and you expect me to go easy on you?"

She chuckled. "Fine. I don't know."

"At least venture a guess," Nathan told her.

She sighed. "Fine. Um…C?"

Nathan made a buzzing sound. "Nope, that's the wrong answer. It's P."

Kristin sighed. "I think that was a trick question."

Nathan shrugged. "Maybe, but you still got it wrong."

"This game isn't over yet, you know." She closed her eyes and selected a card, hoping it was a difficult question. She smiled when she read the question to herself, hoping Nathan wouldn't know the answer. "What is the only domesticated animal not mentioned in the Bible?"

Nathan gave her a look. "How did you find a question like that?"

She chuckled softly. "I found it in these books you brought out. Now do you know the answer?"

"I don't think that's a very fair question."

"We never said this game had to be fair," she teased gently. Then she said, "Your time is ticking away, sir."

"Let me think," he replied. He started listing animals off in his head.

"Tick tock," Kristin said in a sing song voice after a few more seconds.

"My Bible skills are a little rusty, you know," Nathan said in defense.

She shrugged. "Well, be that as it may, I still need answer. And if you get this wrong, just remember what that means," she replied, motioning towards the board.

"Yes, I know full well what it means. Fine, you win."

"No, that isn't fair," Kristin protested. "You need to at least give an answer so we know it's fair. You could guess the answer by pure luck."

Nathan sighed. "Very well." He thought for a few more minutes. Then he finally said, "Dog?"

Kristin made a buzzing sound, mimicking the one Nathan had made. "Nope, it's a cat." She moved her peg to the finish line. "And that means I am the champion."

Nathan chuckled. "Yes, you are. Congratulations." He put his hands on her shoulders. "But tell me, did you really know that answer yourself…before you read it?"

She shook her head. "No…the nuns didn't teach us that in school," she admitted.

"Well, I'm just glad this helped ease your mind. You do seem happier." Nathan motioned to the clock. "Can you believe we've been at this for over three hours?"

Kristin gasped. "That long?"

"Care for another game?" Nathan asked. "We could play a round or two of 'Go Fish' if you wanted?"

She smiled. "Why? So you actually have a chance at beating me at something?"

"I should have known better than to challenge you to a trivia game," Nathan stated.

"Well, I am full of useless knowledge," she said flatly. She paused for a moment. "Get the cards and we'll play a hand or two."

"You sure it isn't too juvenile for you?" Nathan asked worriedly.

She smiled. "Right now, I'd be happy playing 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey'."

"Well, maybe I can call Ben up and see if he'll volunteer to be our donkey?" Nathan joked.

This sent Kristin into peals of laughter, so Nathan joined in.

"You…you liked that, did you?" Nathan said after a moment.

"It was rather funny. And the thing is, I'd bet he'd be happy to do it if you'd asked him," she replied. "Everyone's being so sweet to me," she added quietly, a hint of sadness in her voice.

Nathan put his arms around her. "It's only because you deserve it. Don't feel bad, okay?"

She nodded. "I'll try. Get the cards, okay?"

Nathan did so and dealt the cards.

"Do you have any threes?" Kristin asked once the game had begun.

"Go fish," Nathan replied.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin won that hand and the hand after that. By the third hand, however, she suddenly became tired. She tried to stifle a yawn as she asked Nathan if he happened to have any sevens.

Nathan put his cards down. "We don't need to keep playing." He looked at the clock. "The party doesn't start until seven. You want to lie down for a bit?"

"I probably shouldn't," she said hesitantly.

Nathan gently took the cards from her hand and set them on the table. "Yes, you should," he insisted. He took her hand and led her to the bedroom. "Now, you just lie down here and-"

"What about you?"

"Oh, I'm not tired. I'll just clean up here and-"

But Kristin placed a hand on his arm. "Could you lie down with me, at least until I fall asleep?"

Nathan smiled. "Anything you want."

The two climbed into bed; Kristin laid her head on Nathan's chest while he held her.

"Nathan?"

"Yes?" he said.

"Thank you so much…for everything," she said sleepily.

He placed a light kiss to her temple. "It was my pleasure. Just remember, I'll be right here, okay? There's nothing to be frightened of."

She nodded. "Just don't let me sleep too long so I can dress for the party."

"I promise," Nathan said. He hugged her close and rubbed her back gently. And it wasn't long before he felt her relax and heard her breathing pattern change. As much as it pained him, he had to move her ever so gently so he could clean up. He knew if he stayed with her, he'd fall asleep himself. He placed a kiss to her cheek and tucked the covers in around her. "Sleep well, kiddo."


	28. Is Trying To Smooth It Over

One hour and a half later, Nathan walked back into the bedroom. Kristin looked so peaceful that he really hated to wake her. But it was going on six, and he wanted to give her enough time to get ready. He lay down next to her and watched her for a few moments. He moved to brush the hair out of her face.

The gentle touch caused her to stir. Her eyes fluttered open, and she saw Nathan's smiling face.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Feeling better?"

She stretched and nodded. "A little nap is just what I needed."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it…because it's almost party time," he told her.

She nodded and sat up. "What time is it?"

"Almost six."

"Do you need to get in the bathroom at all?" she asked as she got out of bed and crossed the room to start getting the things out she'd need to dress.

Nathan bit back the laugh that was about to burst from him. He'd never seen Kristin so worried about her appearance…but then again, dress on the boat was fairly casual. "No, it's all yours."

She walked up to him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I won't be too long; I promise."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin undressed, took out the dress Katie had given her, and slipped it on. Then she admired herself in the mirror. It hugged her body in just the right places, accentuating her curves. At that moment, she was grateful for the fact she'd lost a few pounds or the dress might be a little too tight.

She then slipped into a pair of heels and began brushing out her hair when she heard Sylvia's voice.

_My, don't you look lovely._

Kristin put down the hairbrush and looked at herself again. "You really think so?"

_Oh, yes, darling. You'll certainly make Nathan notice you._

Kristin blushed. "I…that isn't the reason…Katie bought this for me because…" she stammered in an effort to explain.

Sylvia laughed. _You don't need to explain anything to me. I had a dress like that myself. Rose got it for me, and I wore it on the night of a party, too…the same night as this, actually. It was a get together, much like the one you're going to._

"You…you did?"

_I know I haven't been very clear about what exactly it is you're doing here…and I admit I never said anything because I wasn't sure myself. But I think it's obvious you are reliving certain events of my life. I suppose I was so…enamored by the whole process that I never said anything because for me, it's like I'm seeing it for the first time. I've forgotten a lot of things from this time, but I do remember that dress._

"It's quite all right," she replied quietly.

_No, it isn't, but you're too nice to say anything. Really, I think anyone else would hate me for putting her in this situation._

Kristin sighed. "Well, I'm not exactly thrilled, but we can't exactly change what's been done either. I just really hope you know what you're doing because I am obviously terribly frightened. But I don't think I could hate you. Besides, wouldn't that be like hating myself?"

Sylvia gave a light chuckle. _Yes, I suppose it would. I really am going to do everything I can to protect you, you know?_

Kristin nodded. "I know…"

_And you have Nathan and all your other friends looking out for you; you're a very lucky woman._

Kristin gave another slight nod.

_Everything is going to be fine; I'm sure of it._

"I…I hope you're right," Kristin replied, her voice trembling slightly.

_Oh, I didn't mean to upset you, honey. I just wanted to explain._

Kristin waved a hand. "It's fine," she replied, but her eyes glistened with fresh tears.

Sylvia sighed. _No, it isn't. You need to stop worrying, for now at least. You go out and have fun. I don't want you thinking about me or tomorrow, okay?_

Kristin nodded.

_No, I want you to promise me. I want you to say it._

Kristin tried to swallow the lump in her throat. "I promise."

_Good…now dry those tears, okay? Just remember, Nathan's waiting for you._

Kristin couldn't help but smile at the thought.

_Ah, there's the smile I was hoping for._

Kristin laughed softly. "You sound like him sometimes."

 _I think that's a good thing,_ Sylvia noted. _Now I'm going to leave you be now, but just remember, I'll still be with you, even if I don't say anything. If you really need me for something, I'll answer you._

Kristin nodded. "Thank you…you must have known I needed to hear your voice."

 _Something like that,_ Sylvia told her. _Now have fun._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Not too long after, Kristin emerged from the bathroom, her hair and makeup done to perfection.

Nathan felt his breath catch in his throat as he stared at her.

But Kristin was oblivious. "Is something wrong?" she asked when she noticed the look he was giving her. She looked down at herself. "Do I…do I look all right?"

Nathan put his hands on her shoulders. "You look fine…more than fine, actually. You look lovely."

She blushed hotly. "Thank you…you like the surprise then?"

Nathan gave her a confused look.

"The dress," Kristin replied. "It was Katie's idea."

Nathan smiled. "Remind me to thank her then."

She smiled softly and gave him a pat on the arm. "You don't look too bad yourself," she told him.

He stood back and did a little turn so she could get a better look.

She chuckled. "Very dashing, Captain."

"Thank you," Nathan said, sounding quite pleased. "Well, dear Doctor, are you ready to go?"

She nodded. "I…think so."

He took her arm. "Then let's not keep our public waiting."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

It wasn't long before they arrived at the base. For convenience purposes, the party was being held at the beach there. Nathan parked the car and held out his hand to help Kristin out of the car. Then the two slowly walked up the beach. The sun was just setting, and it gave the water an orangey-red appearance. Kristin stopped for a moment to admire it.

"It's gorgeous, isn't it?" she gushed.

Nathan put an arm around her shoulders. "It sure is." Then he added, "You're a little nervous about tonight?"

She looked at him. "Am I that transparent?"

Nathan shook his head. "No, I just know you too well. You're actually doing a very good job at hiding it."

"This is just a bittersweet moment, that's all. I have a feeling it's going to be the kind of night I don't want to end."

Nathan gave her a gentle hug. "Just try not to think of that."

She nodded. "I suppose we should go find the others then...so the party can get under way."

Nathan took her hand, and the two continued walking. As they neared the docks, they could see torches lit along with a large bonfire burning on the sand. They could also see the lanterns Ben had wanted from the party shop hung in the surrounding trees.

"Ah, there's the guest of honor," Katie gushed as she approached them. "Oh, and you look beautiful, Doc."

Kristin smiled. "Thank you. So do you." She motioned to Katie's dress, a lovely green number that looked very similar to Kristin's except that it was sleeveless.

"Thanks," Katie replied. "And you look very handsome, Captain."

Nathan smiled, leaned in closer to her, and whispered, "Thank you…and thanks for talking her into that dress."

Katie laughed softly. "I knew you'd like it."

He gave her a look.

"Just a hunch," she answered and turned back to the doctor.

"I thought this was going to just be a simple party," Kristin said as she motioned to the surroundings. "It looks like Ben really went to a lot of trouble."

Katie laughed. "Don't blame me; it was all Ben's idea. He thought you deserved something special."

"I sure did," Ben called, coming up behind them. "Don't you like it?"

"Oh, yes, Mr. Krieg. I just didn't want all this fuss for me. It really isn't necessary," Kristin said.

"It wasn't just for you," Ben replied, but he didn't sound very sincere. "We've had a long tour, and I thought we all deserved this. And just wait until you see what's for dinner."

"I shudder to think," Nathan whispered to Kristin, who laughed softly in response.

"Ben's quite excited about this," Katie said.

"Well, don't just stand there; come on, everyone's waiting," Ben urged.

They followed him up the rest of the beach to see that several tables had been brought in with the rest of the crew socializing with one another.

Kristin and Nathan said quick hellos as they followed Ben to the table that was filled with food.

"We can eat whenever you're ready," Ben told them. "We have many of the traditional island foods such as roast pork, fish, chicken long rice, sweet potatoes and taro rolls." He motioned to each dish as he said its name. Then he looked at them with a huge grin on his face. "And as long as we were here without any beef restrictions, there is one special dish I couldn't pass up." He opened the lid to reveal it.

"Hamburgers?" Nathan said.

Ben smiled. "And you can't stop me."

Nathan patted his shoulder gently. "You just enjoy it while you can."

Ben nodded. "Oh, and of course, we have plenty of soft drinks…and a little liquor as well." He turned to the crowd and cupped his hands over his mouth. "Everyone, dig in!"

Katie rolled her eyes. "That was classy, Ben."

"Hey, I never claimed to be classy. Besides, this is a party, isn't it?"

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The group enjoyed a quiet dinner, chatting softly. And Ben even graced them with a round of _Cheeseburger in Paradise_ , which sent the crew into peals of laughter.

After that, Katie stood. "Thank you for that lovely rendition."

"You're very welcome," Ben said with a smile.

"Yes, well, now, when you're finished eating, we have blankets and chairs set up around the fire. We hope you'll join us."

Nathan and Kristin were sitting together; he turned to her when Katie was finished with her announcement. "Would you like to go down by the fire?"

She looked around and saw some of the others heading that way. "It does appear to be the thing to do."

Nathan stood and offered his hand. "Come on so we can find a good spot then."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan and Kristin were the first to arrive at the bonfire. Nathan led her to a blanket laid out on the sand. He sat first and then held his hand out to help her sit. Then he pulled her into his arms and whispered, "So, are you having a good time tonight?"

She smiled softly and nodded. "So far, yes. I'm still shocked at how fast Ben pulled this all together. I even liked his song." Then she lowered her voice, "Don't tell him that, though."

Nathan laughed. "Your secret is safe with me."

"Oh, don't you two look cute together?" Katie commented as she sat on a chair next to them.

"We were just…" Nathan began, removing his arms from Kristin's waist. Even in the dim light of the fire, the rush of pink to his cheeks could not be mistaken.

Katie waved a hand. "Oh, I didn't mean to make you self-conscious," she said apologetically. "What I mean is that it's sweet. We all think so; we just want to see you happy."

"Thank you," Nathan muttered in disbelief. When did his lieutenant commander become so perceptive? Or was it he who had been oblivious to the fact she…and apparently the rest of the crew…had known something all along that he hadn't?

Katie simply smiled in response as Ben, Lucas, Miguel, and Tim joined the group, all taking places around the fire. Shortly thereafter, the rest of the senior staff arrived and they began chatting idly as they watched the fire.

Ben broke out a bottle of champagne and passed around glasses. "We've had one hell of a year," he said once everyone had a glass. He raised the glass in his hand. "And here's to many more."

"Here, here," the others chimed in as they drank to the toast.

"We've had a lot of good times," Nathan said, looking around at the others.

"And a lot of difficult times," Tim added.

"But we always get through them together," Katie chimed in.

There was a general chorus of agreement. Kristin quietly listened as she looked around at the faces, essentially her family…the one she'd known for the last year anyway. No, there was no blood between them, but that didn't seem to matter. She wanted to remember this moment, this very moment. And she was doing her best to remember every last detail of their faces…in case.

"I remember when Ben tried selling bioluminescent fish poop," Lucas piped up.

There was a chorus of laughter from the others.

"Hey, it wasn't my fault," Ben defended himself. "I thought they were glowing rocks."

"Yeah; _Krieglite_ ," Lucas teased. "As if."

"You can't blame a guy for trying," Ben replied.

Katie, who was sitting next to him, patted his arm. "Yes, Ben, you do always try…the only problem is, the thing you try hardest at is usually making a fool out of yourself."

"At least I'm a happy fool."

"I'll give you that," Katie agreed. She paused for a moment. Then she said, "My favorite mission was when we helped the Walker children."

There were several nods from the others.

"Those children were so adorable," Kristin stated.

"Yeah…" Lucas said.

Ben gave his arm a push. "More like you thought _Cleo_ was adorable," he teased.

Lucas' face reddened slightly. "So what if I did?" he asked defensively.

"Hey, you can dish it out, but you can't take it?" Ben countered.

"That's enough, you two," Nathan told them. He didn't want this night ruined by bickering.

"I think my favorite time was when the doctor turned off the admiral and fired the torpedoes…all to save Commander Ford and the Fagins," Miguel said after a moment.

"I think that was one of my favorite moments, too," Jonathan agreed. He looked at Kristin. "Although I am disappointed I didn't get to see you in action."

"She was quite amazing," Nathan said, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"How would you know? You weren't even there," Kristin said with a small grin on her face.

"I saw enough," Nathan told her.

"Yes, well, the admiral's still whining about those four extra torpedoes," she said flatly.

Everyone chuckled.

"He'll get over it," Ben stated. Then he thought for a moment. "Well, my favorite was going through Hurricane Sheila."

Everyone turned to look at him.

"What?"

" _That's_ your favorite moment?" Lucas asked in disbelief. "We nearly died."

"Yeah…but we didn't. We went through something really traumatic, but we survived," Ben said matter-of-factly. "In fact, when you think about it, we have been through a lot of horrible missions." Then he looked directly at Kristin. "Including this one…but I'll bet we'll survive this, too."

Kristin felt happy tears creep up, but she did her best to keep them at bay. Nathan gave her a gentle, encouraging squeeze, telling her he felt the same way as Ben. She leaned back against his chest.

"Mine was when we found Darwin's mother," Tim stated to which the others agreed once again.

"What about you, Doc?" Katie finally asked. "What was your favorite mission?"

Kristin thought for a few minutes. "I'm not sure I could choose just one."

"Awww, come on, Doc," Lucas urged. "You have to have a favorite."

"I…I'm not sure I could pick just one," she said again. "There were a lot of wonderful ones."

"Yes, you can," Ben replied. "We all did."

After a pause, Kristin finally said, "This…this moment right now. This is my favorite. All of us…together." She took Nathan's hand in her own and reached over to Lucas, who was sitting next to her. She gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze with her other free hand. "I…I wish this moment could last forever." She felt the tears creep up again, but this time, she couldn't keep them at bay.

"Oh, Doc," Katie breathed when she noticed. She stood to go to her, but Kristin held up a halting hand.

"I…I'm sorry," she said, her voice trembling. She stood and gave them an apologetic look. "I think I need some time alone. E-excuse me." She quickly retreated from the group, walking towards the water into the darkness, soft sobs escaping her as she walked away.

Katie turned to Nathan. "Should I go after her?"

"I think we should leave her…for now." He stood and walked a few feet away from the fire so that his eyes could adjust. He saw the Kristin's silhouette under the moonlight just up the beach. "Don't worry; I'll keep an eye on her," he told the others.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

One hour later, however, Kristin hadn't returned, and the others found this worrying. Katie carefully approached Nathan, who was sitting in the sand just to the right of them, his eyes fixed on Kristin.

"She's been out there a long time," she said quietly, sitting next to him.

"I know," Nathan replied. "I…I just didn't want to bombard her."

"Do you want me to try?" Katie offered.

He shook his head and stood. "No…I mean, I appreciate it, but I think I should be the one to go."

"I agree, actually."

Nathan gave her a look.

"I think she responds better to you than anyone else at the moment." She gave his arm a gentle squeeze. "Just tell her we're worried. Good luck."

He gave her a nod. "Thanks, Katie." He then took a deep breath and walked towards the woman in question.

As he approached, he could see that she was now sitting in the sand with her knees pulled up to her chest. Her face was buried in her hands as she wept softly.

Nathan placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I…I know you said you needed time, but…the others are a little worried. I'm a little worried…"

Kristin nodded, but didn't speak. She snuggled into him and buried her head into his chest. "I…I didn't mean…to worry them…or you."

He wrapped his arms around her and tried to comfort her. "Oh, sweetheart, we all know that."

"I just…I didn't want…"

"Shh," Nathan soothed. "You don't need to explain." He held her tightly for several moments. Then he asked, "You know, it's getting late. We could say our goodbyes and go home, if that's what you want?" He carefully pushed her up and dried her tears with his shirt sleeve.

"I…I'm a little embarrassed," she said quietly. "I'm not sure I could face them all now…"

"You don't need to worry about that; they just want to make sure you're all right. The reminiscing wasn't done to upset you."

She gave a small nod. "I know…I just didn't realize how much I care for everyone…and how much they care about me. And I suddenly realized I don't want to lose that." Her voice began to tremble again.

Nathan wrapped his arms around her. "That's not going to happen," he told her. It was getting more difficult to believe that, but he had to try to think positively. "Everything's going to be fine."

Kristin said nothing. She simply clung to him and cried quietly in his arms.

Several minutes later, Nathan heard her sobs subside. He pulled away to look at her. "It's getting late. Maybe we should call it a night? Besides, you're shivering," he noted.

Nathan partly expected a protest, but he was pleased when she nodded, allowing him to help her up. The two walked back towards the fire hand in hand. It was apparent several members had already left for the evening. Just the senior staff remained.

As soon as Katie saw them, she approached cautiously. "Doc?" She put her arms around her and placed a kiss to her cheek.

Kristin returned the embrace and whispered something Nathan couldn't make out; he guessed it was, "I love you," because Katie said, "I love you, too." And when Katie pulled away, her eyes were glistening with tears.

And so the others followed the pattern while Nathan stood aside watching. Kristin had spoken with everyone except Lucas, and Nathan knew she'd want to spend a little extra time with him. He knew Kristin needed this time to say goodbyes, if that's what this was.

"You doing okay?"

Katie's words brought Nathan back to reality. He turned to her and nodded.

"You're awfully quiet." She looked in the direction of Lucas and the doctor. "This has to be hard…for both of them. And it can't be easy for you either."

"I'm not worried about me." He gave a nod towards Kristin. "It's her."

Katie put her hand on his arm. "We're all worried about her, but we can only hope for the best." She then gave him a quick hug.

When she pulled away, he asked, "What was that for?"

She shrugged. "You looked like you needed it. Goodnight, Captain."

"Goodnight, Commander."

Nathan watched as Kristin whispered her last goodbyes to Lucas and then gave him a long hug. When Lucas broke the embrace, they were both crying. Nathan approached carefully to offer some comfort. Lucas wrapped his arms around him, too.

"I love you, kiddo," Nathan whispered.

"Love you, too," the teen replied, trying to choke back tears.

"Try not to worry, okay?"

Lucas nodded and turned towards Miguel, and the two departed.

Nathan put his arm around Kristin. "Ready to go now?"

She nodded quietly, and the two walked back to the car arm in arm.

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The drive back was quiet; Kristin was tucked under Nathan's arm as he drove, her head on his chest. Neither of them spoke. When they had reached their destination, they walked hand in hand up the walkway.

Once inside, Nathan asked if she wanted some tea, but she shook her head in response. She simply walked to the bedroom.

Nathan waited a few moments in case she was changing. When he thought she might have had enough time to change, he knocked on the door frame. "Is it safe to come in?" But he heard quiet sniffling, so he stepped inside.

He saw the dress on the floor in a crumpled heap. Kristin lay on the bed in her slip, weeping quietly. Nathan went to her immediately. "Shh, honey; don't cry." He pulled her into his arms.

"I just…I never thought…" she stammered quietly.

Nathan grabbed a tissue and dabbed at her eyes. "I know…but at least you don't have to go through it alone. I'm right here with you, and it's going to stay that way." He then placed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "Just try not to cry, okay?"

She nodded and snuggled into him. "I…I'll try."

Nathan placed a kiss to her forehead. "We need to distract you again," he noted. He then gave the tip of her nose a light kiss.

And then their eyes met; and somewhere in that moment of despair, they both felt a spark of desire. They both moved closer together, both hesitating slightly.

Nathan was the first to close the gap. A gentle kiss first to test the waters.

Kristin responded and kissed him again, hungrily, needing to feel something more than sorrow.

Then the kiss deepened and lingered. And that led to another. And another still.

Several minutes later, Kristin was sprawled out on her back, Nathan on top of her, the two of them necking.

Finally Kristin placed a halting hand on his chest.

"What?" Nathan asked suddenly, somewhat disappointed by her interruption in the heat of passion.

She brought her lips to his ear and whispered, "I won't refuse you."

It was like a slap. Nathan knew this was something they both wanted for a long time, and he wanted her more than anything. But not quite like this. He kissed her deeply, passionately, but then he pulled back to look at her. "Kristin, I would love nothing more…but we both know that it wouldn't be right."

She shook her head. "If this is my last night on Earth, I don't want to die without…I want to show you…" her voice trailed off.

Nathan kissed her softly again. "You're not going to die."

"But you can't-"

Nathan gave her another gentle kiss. "You are not going to die. You need to believe that. All I want to do tonight is kiss you, comfort you, and hold you while you sleep. And when we get back…" He proceeded to whisper in her ear. He then gave her a kiss on the cheek. "There will be plenty of time for us to tell one another how we feel, okay?"

She nodded, feeling tears spring to her eyes again…only this time, they were of the happy kind. She gave him a soft kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Nathan replied.

"I…I know we were going to wait to say that, but I feel it's warranted," she explained.

"No need to explain, darling," Nathan replied, shifting onto his back and pulling her into his arms.

"Just don't let me go, please."

"I don't plan on it. Now try to get some sleep, okay?"

She nodded and snuggled into him, hoping that Sylvia would find a way to make sure nothing bad happened to her.


	29. Find A Way To Make The Hurt Go Away

**December 6, 1941**

"No! Please…"

The anguished protests uttered from Kristin's mouth caused Nathan to stir. Sometime in the night, she'd wriggled from the protection of his arms; she now lay on the other side of the bed, obviously in the midst of a very vivid nightmare.

Another soft moan escaped her lips. Her arms appeared to be pinned on either side of her head. She struggled against an invisible enemy.

Nathan tried to wake her. "Kristin, honey, wake up," he urged. He thought about touching her, but quickly decided against it, knowing that touching her might cause more of a problem. He hoped his voice would at least help her realize it was only a dream.

"No…I…I didn't!" she cried. " _Please_ , I won't tell anyone!" Kristin looked as though she was trying to break free from whoever was holding her down. She struggled and moaned. "Get off me!" she cried, nearly in tears.

"Kristin!" Nathan called louder. "Wake up, please. It's only a dream. You're safe."

But Kristin didn't seem to hear him. She let out a cry and writhed, yet she wouldn't awaken.

"Kristin!" Nathan cried in one last futile attempt to get her attention. "Damn it, Kristin! Wake up!" Nathan wanted to shake her awake, but he knew that would only make things worse. He just wanted so badly to end whatever she was feeling; all he could do, however, was watch helplessly as she continued her nightmare.

"Oh, no, please!" she cried. "No!" Kristin's back arched as she tried to free herself from the invisible enemy. Another pained cry escaped her as she started to sob softly. "I didn't…"

"Kristin, wake up… _please_ ," Nathan pleaded, a bit gentler this time. He didn't want to take his eyes off Kristin to look at the clock, but he surmised it that it was in the early hours of the morning. He feared that if she didn't awaken soon, he'd have some neighbors knocking on his door wondering what the problem was.

Kristin moaned, cried, and struggled for a few more minutes before finally letting out a blood-curdling scream. She finally awoke, sitting bolt-upright in bed, hugging herself and sobbing quietly.

Nathan was at her side in a moment, but he waited until she seemed to acknowledge him. He simply opened his arms and waited for her to respond. It didn't take her long to cling to him; Nathan wrapped his arms around her and tried to whisper soothing and comforting words to her. Kristin sobbed quietly, her face buried in his chest.

After several minutes, her sobs quieted. Nathan continued to hold her and rub her back gently since he noted she was still trembling. Another minute or two passed when he finally asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She gently pulled away enough to wipe the stray tears from her cheeks. "I…I couldn't…" she began, her features twisting as she struggled to find the words to explain what she wanted to say.

"Just take your time," Nathan soothed. "Relax. Take a deep breath," he instructed.

Kristin did as she was told. "It…it was dark. I couldn't find you. I…I was…there was someone…I couldn't see his face. I…" Her voice trailed off as tears crept up again.

"Ssh," Nathan soothed. "It was just a dream; everything's fine now. Don't cry, sweetheart." He hugged her tighter to emphasize his point.

Kristin said nothing, but simply snuggled into him. The dream was so vivid, but she didn't feel like sharing all the sordid details either. It was too frightening. She hoped it was just a dream, but part of her worried it might be more of an omen…and that scared her.

"Why don't we go back to sleep?" Nathan suggested. He finally glanced at the clock. "It's only a little after four."

Kristin nodded and allowed Nathan to help her lie back down.

Nathan wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "Just rest now; everything's going to be fine." He placed a gentle kiss to her temple. "Don't worry, okay?"

Kristin let out a sigh. "I'll try," she replied weakly.

Nathan reached over and turned off the light. "That's my girl," he whispered. "I'll be right here with you; remember that."

She gave another nod and snuggled into him. She knew Nathan wouldn't let anyone hurt her…but what was going to stop her from her mind? She let out yet another sigh and tried to forget, hoping that she would be able to go back to sleep again without any worries.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Twenty minutes later, Nathan was still awake. He had every intention of going back to sleep, especially since he thought Kristin had fallen back to sleep herself; at least, she hadn't made a sound, save for her steady breathing. He shifted slightly so he could look at her face. The early twilight gave off just enough light where he could see her face; her eyes were wide open. He smiled softly. "I thought you'd gone to sleep?"

She shook her head. "I tried, but…I just couldn't."

Nathan thought for a moment. He knew this was going to be a day where Kristin was going to need him distracting her…a lot. "What do you say we get out of here?"

She sat up and gave him a look. "Where are we going to go? The sun isn't even up yet."

Nathan flashed her a grin. "It's a surprise. Come on, you'll enjoy it."

Kristin gave him a suspicious look. Frankly, she hadn't intended on leaving the apartment today…at least until she was told she had to. "Nathan, I'm not sure I feel comfortable-"

Nathan sighed and placed his hands on her shoulders. "I know; believe me, I know. But this is something I think you need to do. Just trust me, okay?" He gave her a pleading look.

"Oh, all right," she told him, unable to resist the look he was giving her. "Just let me get ready…for wherever it is we're going."

"You don't need to do anything fancy," he replied.

She selected a dress from her bag and headed into the bathroom. "I won't be long," she promised.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"So, where _are_ we going?" Kristin pressed. They'd been driving for about twenty minutes, and she couldn't help but notice they were driving out of town. She also noticed the sun still had not risen, so she couldn't help but voice her curiosity aloud.

Nathan put an arm around her shoulders. "Well, I suppose I can give you a hint. We're going to one of my favorite places in all of Oahu."

Kristin turned to look at him.

Nathan chuckled lightly. "Yes, I know what you're thinking…and yes, it does exist in our time, so I would hope it exists now. It's probably even more beautiful now…at least, I'm hoping so. And I am hoping you'll be able to appreciate it." He paused for a moment and gave her a tight squeeze. "I know this is going to be a difficult day for you, so I thought that this would help."

"Nathan, I…I appreciate what you're trying to do, but-" She stopped mid-sentence when she realized the car stopped. She looked out the window to see where they were and noticed the road had ended; all she saw was the edge of a tropical jungle and a steep, dirt-covered hill. "Where…" she began, unsure what to make of it.

"Looks like we're going to have a bit of a hike," he said apologetically. "This," he said, motioning to the vegetation, "doesn't exist in our time." He looked down at her shoes. "At least you wore flats."

She nodded. "Yes, thank goodness."

Nathan exited the car and held out his hand. "I promise this will be worth it."

She accepted his hand. Even if it wasn't, this was getting her mind off of Sylvia and her nightmares. The two started their way up the steep hill. After they'd walked nearly to the top of the hill and saw yet another hill, however, she certainly hoped Nathan knew what he was doing.

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Another twenty minutes later, Kristin felt like they'd been walking for days. "If your plan is for me to collapse from exhaustion, I'm getting there," she said dryly, stopping to catch her breath.

Nathan gave her a sheepish look. "I know you're tired, but we're almost there," he promised. He looked at the sky. "In fact, we really need to hurry. I wanted to be there before the sunrise."

"No," Kristin stated, finally putting her foot down. "Nathan, I'm exhausted. Please, can I just rest for a minute? I-" She suddenly heard a sound that she couldn't place.

"You hear that, too?" Nathan guessed.

"Yes…what is that?"

"That is where we're headed," Nathan told her, pointing. He held out his hand again. "I promise when we get there, you can rest all you want. It's just a few hundred yards more. Please?"

Kristin hesitated for a moment, but she knew Nathan obviously had some sort of plan. "Oh, all right," she said, putting her hand in his. She held up a finger. "But this better be worth it; my feet are _killing_ me."

Nathan smiled. "I promise it will be worth it. Now, let's go." He started at a steady pace, pulling Kristin along with him.

Kristin had to run to keep up with him. She was just about to give out a protest when Nathan stopped dead in his tracks. "You…you could have told me…you were going to run," Kristin said between pants, trying to catch her breath.

"Sorry," Nathan muttered, "but it seems my calculations were a bit off."

"Off?" Kristin cried. "Do you mean to tell me you've gotten us lost? Nathan, I know you were trying to do something nice…well, at least I think that's what you were doing, but I am just not in the mood for-"

Nathan simply brought a hand to her cheek and gave it a gentle push to the right. "Look," he urged.

Kristin turned her head obediently and finally realized then what the sound was that she was hearing: rushing water. It still wasn't very light out, so it was hard to make out; but gradually, the sun began to appear on the eastern horizon. As it filtered over to them, Kristin realized they were standing on a rocky ledge bordering a clearing of the jungle. Just in front of them was the edge of a dramatic drop-off into the ocean. A small, but lovely waterfall ran down the volcanic rock beside them.

"As I was saying, I was a bit off in my calculations," Nathan said again, this time a bit quieter. "It was a little closer than I thought." He put an arm around her shoulders and led her to a small grouping of rocks that were large enough to sit upon. He sat first and then helped her sit next to him. He motioned to the horizon. "I thought you'd enjoy seeing the sunrise this way."

"Oh, Nathan," she breathed. "It's beautiful." They both watched the sky change from gray to red, then from orange to yellow. And for that short moment in time, everything seemed at peace.

"Yeah…it is," he agreed a few minutes later.

"I…I'm sorry if I was a little cranky. I didn't realize…"

"No, I certainly think you have a reason," he told her. I should have told you where we were going in the first place. I'd have been a bit cranky about it if I were you, too."

She turned to him and placed a gentle hand to his cheek. "No, Nathan, you don't need… You've been absolutely wonderful. I don't think I could ever thank you for how kind you've been. In fact, I don't know any man who would go to such great lengths to try to comfort and reassure me the way you've done. You've been…such a blessing to me." Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke, suddenly becoming choked up. She then leaned towards him and brushed her lips against his. "Thank you so very much," she whispered with deep emotion.

Nathan returned the kiss, allowing it to linger and deepen. When the need for oxygen caused them to separate, he continued to hold her in his arms. "I've told you before you don't need to thank me. You're always welcome. Please…I didn't mean for this moment to be sad, though. Don't cry. I wanted this to make you happy."

She nodded against him. "I know…and I am, I promise." She kissed his cheek gently. "I am very happy…so much so that I wish this moment could last forever."

"Me, too," he agreed. He hugged her tighter. "We're going to get through this together. I promise. I-"

At that moment, Kristin placed a finger to his lips. "Did you hear that?"

"Yeah…what is that?"

Kristin gave him a mysterious smile. She stood and walked towards the edge of the ledge they were on. She knelt down and motioned for him to join her. "Really, Nathan, it hasn't been that long, has it?"

Nathan knelt beside her and tried to follow her gaze. "Long for what? Kristin, I'm just a little-"

This time, it was Kristin's turn to place a hand to his chin and point him in the right direction. "Look," she told him gently. "It's Darwin."

Nathan smiled softly. "So it is. I wonder how he knew."

She shrugged. "I'm not sure, but something tells me he knew we were going to be here. He seems to know that something is going on. We should go down and see him."

Nathan nodded. "You know how perceptive he is." He stood and offered his hand to help her. "It should be much easier walking down."

She smiled and accepted his hand. "I wasn't saying we should _walk_ down exactly." She started unbuttoning her dress.

Nathan quickly caught the hint. "Kristin, you've _got_ to be kidding."

She shook her head. "I assure you, I am not. If I've learned one thing from this experience, I've learned you need to live every moment as though it's your last…because it very well could be. You don't need to come with me, although I'd really like it if you did. But, well, I have always wanted to know what it was like to jump off a cliff into a waterfall…and this one isn't terribly high up. What do you say?" She removed her dress and laid it on the rocks they had been sitting in. She then slipped off her shoes and stockings; she faced him, wearing nothing but her slip and gave him an expectant look.

"Kristin, are…are you sure about this? I thought you weren't a great fan of heights…and we are about forty feet up."

She walked back the edge of the cliff. "I am positive," she replied. "Are you coming or not?"

Nathan stole a peek over the edge. He couldn't believe she wanted to jump from that high up, but he'd also made a promise to protect her. That meant he wasn't going to let her do this alone. He started unbuttoning his shirt. "Just give me a few minutes to undress."

Kristin let out a small whoop of joy. "I promise it will be fun."

Nathan placed his shirt next to her dress on the rocks. "I think this experience may have warped your idea of _fun_ ," he teased gently.

But Kristin ignored his comment. Instead, she cupped her hands around her mouth and called, "We'll be down there shortly, Darwin! Don't go away!"

Nathan heard the dolphin's chattering in response as he removed his pants, shoes, and socks. He then stood dressed in an undershirt and boxer shorts; he walked to stand beside her. "You realize we'll have to walk back up here to retrieve our clothes when we're through?"

She waved a hand. "A minor detail. The walk will do us good."

"That's not what you said before," Nathan pointed out.

"This is different." She looked down and took a deep breath. "Give me your hand."

Nathan did so, but he suddenly noted her nervousness. "Are you _sure_ about this?" he asked again. "You don't need to prove anything to me or anyone else."

Kristin was quiet for a moment as she looked down to the ocean below. "I'm sure." She then turned to look at him. "Just don't let go, okay?"

Nathan gave her hand a squeeze. "I don't intend to."

She gave him a small smile and took another deep breath. "On the count of three, okay?"

"Okay."

"One." Kristin's tightened her grip on Nathan's hand as they moved into position. "Two." She shut her eyes tight. "Three."

And with that, the two of them jumped off the cliff, Kristin's breath catching in her throat on the way down.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin felt suddenly the rush of water around her; she quickly reacted and swam to the surface. Then she looked around her for Nathan. Naturally, when they'd hit the water, they'd been separated. She saw him surface a few yards away from her, and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, wow!"

Nathan swam over to her. "Well, was it everything you'd hoped?" he asked.

She gave him a smile and nodded. "It was better. It was…amazing!"

Nathan let out a chuckle. "It was definitely invigorating. The water could have been a little warmer, but it was invigorating."

"The water is a little chilly," Kristin agreed, "but the sun will warm us up."

Before Nathan could reply, they heard a familiar chattering, which reminded him why they had just jumped off the cliff in the first place. He turned and saw Darwin just a short distance away.

Kristin took his hand in hers and pulled gently. "Come on; he's waiting to see us."

Nathan gave her a mock salute. "Yes, ma'am."

Kristin moved over to the dolphin and pet his melon gently.

Darwin clicked and whistled in response, causing Kristin to laugh softly.

"I think he missed you," Nathan replied after a moment.

Kristin nodded and nuzzled the dolphin. "I missed him, too."

Nathan moved closer to pet Darwin as well. There was a lull of silence that surrounded them, a moment where they felt at peace.

But Darwin was the one to break the silence. He splashed Nathan first.

"Hey," Nathan cried.

Kristin chuckled. "I think he's trying to say he wants to play."

Darwin bobbed his head up and down and clicked in response.

"Good…because I plan on getting revenge," Nathan said playfully. He swam towards Darwin, who quickly darted out of his grasp. And so the game of tag began, which had Darwin chattering and Kristin and Nathan laughing as they played. It was a bit of fun they all needed.

After twenty minutes or so, however, Darwin disappeared below the depths.

"What do you suppose that is about?" Nathan asked.

Kristin shrugged. "I'm not sure. Do you suppose he wants us to follow him?"

But before Nathan could answer, Darwin quickly reappeared with a large fish in his mouth.

"Oh, you were hungry," Nathan stated.

Darwin nodded his head up and down, but made no attempt to eat. Instead he tossed the fish towards Nathan. It landed with a slap on the surface of the water next to him, causing a splash of water in his face yet again.

Kristin covered her mouth with her hand to stifle her laugh.

"It isn't funny," Nathan said, a smile on his own face as well.

"I'm sorry," Kristin said, "but it is."

Nathan turned to Darwin. "What was that for?"

Darwin moved closer to Nathan and nosed at the fish.

Kristin laughed again. "I think he's trying to give us breakfast." Then she added, "I am getting rather hungry."

Nathan nodded, but pushed the fish towards Darwin. "Ah, you go right ahead. I think we need to be going anyway." He motioned towards Kristin. "The doctor's shivering."

Darwin nodded and clicked something in response again. He then swam over to Kristin and pushed his melon beneath her hand.

"I think he's saying goodbye," Nathan told her.

She nodded and nuzzled against him. She then whispered something Nathan couldn't make out. After a moment, she gave Darwin a pat and moved away from him so that Nathan could say his goodbyes.

Nathan leaned in close to him. "See you soon, pal."

Darwin clicked in response.

Then Nathan lowered his voice a bit more. "Don't worry; I'll bring her back to you, safe and sound."

Darwin bobbed his head up and down in response; then he grabbed his fish and swam away.

Nathan then swam over to Kristin and took her hand. "Let's get you out of this water so you can warm up."

She nodded, and the two of them swam to shore.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The sun was quite warm, so it didn't take them long to warm up again. They started on their journey back up the hill to the ledge where they had laid their clothes.

Kristin began to redress. "At least the sun dried us off."

Nathan nodded as he buttoned his shirt. "Did you have fun?"

"Oh, definitely. Thank you so much for bringing me here. I'm almost sorry we have to leave."

"I can bring you back here again…when we get back."

Kristin didn't answer. She simply turned back to look over the ledge.

Nathan knew what she was thinking. He moved to stand at her side. "Please, don't think like that."

"I'm sorry; it's difficult not to," she muttered, avoiding his gaze.

"I know." He then had a thought. "We could stay a little longer; just give me a minute. I'll be right back." He turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" she called.

He turned back to her. "I'll be right back. I promise."

Kristin did as she was told, but followed him with her eyes. He disappeared into the jungle, and for several minutes, she couldn't possibly fathom what it was he was doing. But when he returned a short time later, his arms laden with fruit from the jungle, she knew.

"I thought we could have breakfast here. We have mangoes, guava, and some bananas."

"Oh, that's lovely," she said with a smile.

Nathan motioned for her to sit. Then he took out his pocket knife and cut a mango in half; then he handed part of it to Kristin.

The two ate in blissful silence.

As they were finishing the last pieces of banana, Kristin leaned over and kissed him.

"Hmm…I'm not complaining, but what was that for?" Nathan asked.

"For a wonderful morning," she replied. "Thank you."

Nathan smiled. "You've already thanked me…but thank you for doing it again."

Kristin let out a sigh. "But I do suppose we ought to be getting back."

"Don't sound so disappointed," Nathan told her. "The rest of the day can be lovely, too."

Kristin gave him a doubtful look.

Nathan wrapped her in his arms and gave her a light kiss on the forehead. "We'll get through it."

She nodded and allowed him to lead her back to the car.


	30. And Everyone You Know Is Trying

The drive back to the apartment was quiet and uneventful. Kristin sat snuggled up to Nathan as per the usual, her head resting on his shoulder as he drove.

He took his eyes off the road for a brief second to steal a glance at her; he noticed the pensive look on her face and sighed softly. He knew she had so many worries going through her head that she hadn't voiced to him or anyone else. He also noticed the uncharacteristic pallor of her skin, the dark circles under her eyes. No, this was not his Kristin. It may have sounded like her, occasionally acted like her…but for the most part, this was not the woman he had known before they were transported into this time period.

He didn't blame Kristin for it at all, however. Considering the situation at hand, he found it quite remarkable that she hadn't disintegrated completely. Yes, she had broken down on many occasions, and he'd been there to see her through it. But for the most part, she was holding up fairly well; she was quite strong. He knew Kristin was a strong woman before all this, but he really did not realize how much until now. He was sure that even she didn't know it until then, although he was sure she certainly didn't feel that way.

When he came to a traffic light, he stole a glance at her again. He squeezed her gently with his free arm. "You're awfully quiet," he noted.

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize," she replied. "I was just…thinking."

Nathan wanted to prod her a bit, but he held back, knowing it might upset her more. "Well, if you want to talk…" he said, stepping on the accelerator once the light had turned green again.

She nodded. "I know," she told him, "but I'm fine, thank you."

Nathan placed a light kiss to her temple and dropped the subject.

A few minutes later, Nathan pulled the car to a stop in front of the apartment building, and the two walked inside.

"So," Nathan began once the door was shut, "what would you like to do?"

She sat on the sofa and shrugged. "I haven't really thought about it."

Nathan thought for a second. "Well, how about some music at least?" He turned on the radio; _Angel in Disguise_ was playing. "I always liked this song," he commented.

Kristin said nothing, but she listened intently. She sighed and tried to relax.

A few minutes later, the tune changed. The song was _Because of You._ Nathan walked towards her and held out his hand. "May I have this dance?"

She hesitated. "Nathan, I-"

"Please? It's just us."

She thought for another second, then put her hand in his and allowed him to lead her to the middle of the living room floor. It was a bit awkward at first as they tried to keep in time with the music, but by the end of the song, they'd found their rhythm.

"See? This isn't so bad," Nathan insisted. "In fact, you look like you're having fun." There was a bit of a lull while the announcer was speaking.

She smiled. Nathan always seemed to know what she needed even when she didn't know it. "You think you're so smart."

"Maybe," he told her. "Or maybe I just know you. Now get ready; another song is about to start."

A moment later, _I Remember You_ sounded through the room.

"Oh, I love this song," she gushed.

Nathan held her close, and the two moved with the music.

Kristin laid her head on his shoulder and felt at ease. Nothing else existed. There was no Frank Knox, no Richard, and no Sylvia. It was just them, and it was lovely. As the song ended, their eyes met. They smiled softly at one another, and Kristin brought her face a bit closer to his.

Nathan leaned in closer as well to the point where they were just barely touching. He hesitated at first, looking into her eyes for approval. She gave a slight nod, and that was all he needed.

He leaned in a bit more to close the gap when suddenly there was a knock at the door, ruining the moment.

Kristin jumped and let out a soft cry, obviously startled. "Who…who could that be?"

Nathan noticed that she became increasingly worried once again. He gave her should a gentle squeeze. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about," he told her. Then he walked over to shut the radio off.

Despite Nathan's attempt at reassurance, Kristin couldn't stop her heart from racing. What if it was the secretary general? She wasn't sure she wanted to find out. She excused herself and headed into the bathroom.

Nathan sighed. Just when he was getting her to relax… He shook his head and opened the door, but was relieved to see Ben, Katie, and Lucas.

"Surprise," Katie greeted him with a smile.

"I thought you were working today?" Nathan replied, stepping aside to allow them to pass.

"Well, Saturdays on the base are rather…boring," Lucas blurted out. "We got permission to leave."

"And we thought we'd come see the doc," Ben added.

"I hope it's okay that we're dropping by." Katie looked around. "Where is she?"

"Uh, wait here; I'll go get her," Nathan replied. "Make yourselves at home." He headed in the direction of the bathroom and knocked gently on the door. "Kristin? You have company; just some of our friends."

When no answer came, he knocked again. "Kristin?" He tried the knob and was relieved to find it unlocked, but what he found was heartbreaking. He found her sitting on the floor, her knees pulled up to her chest. She was crying softly.

He sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. "Oh, sweetheart," he whispered softly. "What's wrong?"

Kristin took a few deep breaths before speaking. "I…I thought it might be…I came in here…I…" she began.

Nathan understood completely; he hugged her tighter. "No, it's just Lucas, Katie, and Ben; they wanted to come by and see you." He kissed her cheek. "I know what you thought. Please, don't cry."

She nodded and did her best to stop. "I was suddenly so scared. I…"

"Ssh; you don't need to explain," Nathan told her. "I understand, but you're safe. You don't need to worry."

She nodded and clung to him. "Please…just hold me," she whispered as she did her best to calm down. She felt Nathan tighten his hold on her, and the two stayed that way for several minutes.

When Nathan heard her breathing pattern return to normal and that her crying ceased, he said, "Feeling better now?"

She nodded. "Thank you."

He pulled away and stood, holding out his hand to help her up. "I'll give you a few moments to freshen up; I'll tell them you'll be out soon."

Nathan then headed back out into the living room.

"Is everything all right?" Katie asked worriedly, walking up to him. "The doctor…is she-"

"She's fine," Nathan promised. "It's just been an emotional day so far…but she is eager to see you."

Katie nodded and lowered her voice. "That's why we wanted to see her; after last night… Of course, we don't want to upset her, either."

Nathan shook his head. "No, I think this will be good for her. She needs to get her mind off of what might or might not happen later."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin sighed as she stared at herself in the mirror. She hardly recognized herself. She looked as though she hadn't slept in weeks. Had she been one of her patients, she'd have ordered her to take time off and rest. If only it were that easy; not that she could rest as it is. She couldn't even hear a knock at the door without going into hysterics. She suddenly felt ashamed, embarrassed.

She could hear Nathan speaking to the others. She wondered what he was telling them exactly, but all she heard were murmurs. And when she did go out there, what would she say? She sighed and wiped away the streaks of mascara that had run onto her cheeks with a washcloth. She wondered how in the world she was going to get through the rest of this day.

_You'll survive,_ Sylvia said.

"Even _you_ can't be sure of that," Kristin replied quietly.

_I promised I wouldn't leave you, and I haven't. I've been with you the whole time. That has to count for something. I've already promised you I'll do everything in my power to make sure you will be all right._

Kristin nodded. "And I've already told you I know. I completely understand, but I can't possibly change the way I feel. We both know things could go wrong…"

_You need to forget for the time being…or at least try._

Kristin nodded, but didn't speak.

_And don't worry about what your friends think; they just want to see you, that's all. You needn't worry about them._

"I want to see them, too."

_Then go see them_ , Sylvia urged. _Try not to worry about later, please?_

"I'll do my best," Kristin promised. She took a deep breath and started toward the living room.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Sorry I kept you all waiting," Kristin said when she entered the living room. She gave them a small smile. "This is a lovely surprise."

"Oh, you didn't think we could stay away, did you?" Katie said, standing up to give her a tight hug. She then lowered her voice and spoke into Kristin's ear, "And after last night, we wanted to be sure you were all right."

"I'm feeling much better now that you're here," Kristin returned. "Thank you so much for coming to see me."

When Katie broke the hug, her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and Kristin almost broke down right there. Even though this was a happy time, it was still quite emotional. But when Katie noticed Kristin's look, she offered her a smile to show that she was fine.

After greeting hugs from Ben and Lucas, Kristin said, "I thought you three were supposed to be working all day?"

"We were released early," Ben replied.

"Oh, dear," Kristin replied. "You didn't do anything to provoke the brass, did you?"

Ben chuckled and held up his hands. "I swear I'm innocent."

"Actually, there wasn't much to do; they asked for volunteers to go home. Ben and I took on the hardship," Lucas said melodramatically.

"Oh, how very gallant," Nathan quipped.

"And Doctor Levin told me I could leave; the hospital was slow," Katie added.

"So did you two have a nice morning?" Katie asked, looking at both Nathan and Kristin expectantly.

"Oh, it was very nice indeed," Kristin replied.

"I took her on a morning hike," Nathan explained.

"Yes, and we watched the sunrise, and we got to spend some time with Darwin," Kristin added. "It was a lovely morning."

"Darwin…how is he?" Lucas asked. "I hadn't gotten to spend as much time with him as I wanted. He's probably mad at me."

Nathan placed a hand on his shoulder. "I don't think he's mad at you, and he seemed just fine."

"He misses us," Kristin added, "but I'm sure he understands."

"So what are you plans for the rest of the day?" Katie finally asked, taking Kristin's hand and ushering her over to the sofa.

Kristin looked expectantly at Nathan. "We honestly didn't have plans."

"We were just playing things by ear," Nathan added.

"Well, in that case," Ben said, taking out a deck of cards from his pocket and shuffling them, "how about some poker?" He looked at Kristin. "It would just be for fun, of course."

Nathan exchanged a glance with Kristin. "I have no objections, but it's the doctor's decision."

"Oh, why not?" she said.

Nathan ushered everyone to the table, but he pulled Kristin aside. "You sure you're up to this?"

She nodded. "Yes, I'm fine; it'll be relaxing."

"Not that I'm complaining to see your mood has improved."

She gave him a soft smile. "I think it's the company." Then she gave him a wink. "Now come on so I can beat the pants off of you."

"That sounds like a threat," he teased.

She shook her head. "No, it's a promise," she stated, a wry smile on her face. With that, she headed to the table with Nathan following close behind.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Now tell me again what it is you're going to do." Reggie turned to Richard expectantly, cigarette in hand. She was sitting at the dining room table, her long legs swung across it.

Richard, who was sitting across from her, sighed. They'd been over this about ten times that week. "Do I really have to tell you again, darling? I already know."

She leaned over and pinched his cheek. "You say you do, but I want to be sure. It's game day…and I want to make sure you don't intend on breaking the rules."

"I'm going to call Sylvia up later tonight," he replied obediently.

"And why tonight?" she challenged, an eyebrow raised.

"Why do I need to tell you when you know perfectly well why?"

"Oh, Ritchie." She moved to stand behind him and ran a finger just around the outer edge of his left ear. Then she over close to speak into his ear. "I'm starting to suspect your affections for me are waning. You don't want that, do you?"

"N-no, my dear. I love you with all my heart," he assured her.

She smiled and stepped around to face him. She sat on his lap. "Then you'll do anything for me, won't you?"

He nodded. "Of course."

She then took his necktie in hand and gave it a rough tug. "Then when I ask you a question, you'll be sure to answer without any lip," she said through gritted teeth.

"S-sorry, my darling," Richard spat.

She released him, pleased that he was willing to comply. She then placed a kiss to his cheek. "As long as we have an understanding."

He nodded.

"So tell me again; why are you waiting until tonight?"

"Because it's harder for witnesses to see."

"Ah, but you'll be sure there aren't any witnesses, won't you?"

He nodded.

She patted his cheek again. "That's a good boy. And what will you tell her?"

"I'll tell her that I'll sign the papers…if she agrees to meet me here."

"And?"

"I'll tell her how sorry I am, put on the charm…so that she'll agree," Richard replied.

Reggie smiled. She captured his lips in a passionate kiss. When she broke it, she said, "There's more where that came from if you tell me what's next."

"Next?"

"Well, yes," she answered. "I know I told you I didn't care how you did it, but part of me is curious now. How are you going to do it?"

Richard was taken aback. To be perfectly honest, he hadn't had much of a plan at all. "Well, I'm going to kill her."

She snickered. "Well, of course…but how?"

Richard hesitated.

"Oh, no," she replied after a moment once she realized he had no plan whatsoever. She pushed herself off his lap. "I don't believe it. You mean to tell me after all this time, you haven't once thought about _how_?"

"I…I…" Richard stammered. "It isn't something I've thought about, to be honest. I was going to improvise."

"You imbecile!" Reggie shouted. "I told you needed to be as discreet as possible, did I not?"

"You did, dear," Richard replied quietly, averting her gaze.

"And do you really think that improvisation allows for discretion?"

"I…well…"

"Fine…let's say we're doing it your way. What are you going to do when she starts screaming? Don't you think the neighbors might wonder what's going on?" Reggie challenged.

"I don't…the neighbors never seemed very concerned before…"

She groaned in frustration. "That's not the point. If we want this to go exactly perfectly right, you need to have some sort of plan. Yes, in the spur of the moment, you can diverge from it slightly…but you need to know what it is you're going to do in the first place."

"Okay…I'll take a knife and stab her."

She shook her head. "No…we didn't want a mess, remember?"

"So no gun either?"

"No." She rolled her eyes. "Oh, do I _have_ to think of everything?" She thought for a few moments. "You'll have to knock her out somehow. That should keep her from crying out."

"Fine."

"After that, the possibilities are endless. There's suffocation, strangulation…just make sure you do it fast. Even _you_ should be able to handle that."

"Of course."

"And after that?" she asked hopefully.

"I get rid of the body?"

She clapped her hands. "Finally, you got one right. Now you better not screw this up, Ritchie, you got it?"

"Yes, dear, I understand completely."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"I fold," Nathan announced, looking across the table at Kristin.

"Oh, come now, Nathan, I thought this was just for fun?" she teased.

"He must consider losing fun," Lucas joined in.

"Hey, you lost the last hand as well, so I wouldn't get too cocky," Nathan replied.

"Okay, show your cards," Ben called out.

By sheer luck, Kristin had won the fourth hand; she'd won every hand actually. "Okay, what's going on?" she asked.

"We have no idea what you mean," Katie said innocently.

"I am never quite this lucky in poker." She looked across the table at Nathan. "And I've never seen you quite so unlucky."

Nathan held up his hands. "I honestly didn't do anything."

"Me either," the others chimed in.

Kristin didn't quite believe them, but it didn't matter. They were trying to be kind to her, get her mind off things, and she appreciated it more than anything. "Another hand?"

"Actually, we do have lunch plans," Katie replied. "You two could come along if you'd like?"

Kristin looked at Nathan. "Oh, no…I think we'd rather stay in, but thank you so much for coming by."

"It was a lot of fun," Lucas told her as he leaned in for a hug.

Katie and Ben followed suit.

At least this time, Kristin didn't break down in tears. She was worried she might not see them again, but she pushed that aside for the time being.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once they were alone again, Nathan turned to her. "Are you hungry? I was going to make a sandwich."

"Let me help you," Kristin offered.

The two of them worked together, making small talk as they did so. Then they ate quietly.

After lunch, Kristin went to sit on the sofa. After washing off the table, Nathan went to sit next to her. "Anything else you'd like to do?"

She leaned her head on his shoulder. "Just be here next to you," she answered quietly.

Nathan put his arm around her. "That's all I want, too."

They talked quietly about anything and everything for hours, and before they knew it, the afternoon had turned into evening.

"You just sit here," Nathan told her. "I have something special planned for dinner."

"Are you sure you don't want help?"

He shook his head. "No, I want you to just relax…or do whatever you like."

She smiled softly. "I think I'll take you up on that. I did have one thing I wanted to do." She placed a kiss on his cheek and headed into the bedroom.

"I'll let you know when dinner's ready," Nathan said.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin had dreaded this moment, but it was something that had to be done. In case this was her last night on Earth, she had wanted to write some letters to all the special people in her life, mainly her daughter, Cynthia. But she also wanted to write one for Nathan and one for Lucas.

As she started writing to Cynthia, she felt tears sting her eyes. She had kept them at bay for as long as she could, but composing these letters was not going to be an easy task. By the end of the letter, the tears were flowing freely. She wiped at her cheeks and began writing one for Lucas.

Really, it was really more of a repeat of what she'd told Cynthia, telling him how much she loved him and that she always will, how he'd always have a special place in her heart, and how she'll always be with him.

And then it was time to write Nathan's. Part of her was sure he already knew what she wanted to tell him, but this was a, "Read this if I don't make it," type of letter. She wanted to remind him of how much she loved him and that he deserved to be happy. Yes, they'd told one another they loved each other, but she wouldn't allow him to tell her anything more...at least not yet. And here was a reason for that, but she would be damned if she was going to die without letting him know everything she had in her heart.

Just as she was finishing the last line, Nathan appeared in the doorway, unbeknownst to her. He saw her sitting at the small desk in the corner, weeping quietly. "Kristin?"

She wiped her tears away and turned to him. "It's nothing," she told him. "I was just…" She sealed Nathan's letter and handed him the bundle. "You promised me you'd deliver these…in case."

Nathan glanced at the names written in her delicate handwriting. When he saw his own name, he gave her a questioning look.

"This is only to be opened if I can no longer be with you," she told him.

He nodded and put the letters in his pocket. He then took her hand in his and gave it a gentle kiss. "Come on, dinner's getting cold."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan had the lights dimmed low, lit candles on the table. He'd made crab legs and shrimp with vegetables on the side.

"This is just lovely," she said. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Nathan then poured them both some wine. "I thought that we should do something a little special tonight."

The two ate while talking quietly, neither of them in any rush to get the meal over. It was relaxing.

After the meal, she and Nathan washed dishes together. Then after that, he ushered her to the sofa and without a word, he enveloped her in his arms.

Kristin did the same. They both had the sinking feeling their time was drawing to a close, and neither of them wanted to think of that.

After a moment, Nathan kissed her temple and then he tilted her chin so that he could kiss her lips.

Kristin eagerly returned his kiss. "I wish this didn't have to end," she whispered softly.

Nathan placed a tiny kiss on her nose. "It won't; we'll only be separated for a little while. You have to believe that."

She nodded, but didn't speak. She offered him a weak smile.

"That's my girl," he replied. He then pulled her into his arms again, and the two stayed that way for quite a long time…that was until the phone rang, causing both of them to jump.

Nathan made no attempt to move at first until Kristin said, "You'd better go answer that."

He nodded and reluctantly pulled himself away. He picked up the receiver. "Hello?"

Kristin could only hear Nathan's end of the conversation, but she could already tell who it was. Sylvia had already told them this. It was the admiral; she felt her heart sink at the realization.

"Can't it wait until Monday, sir?" Nathan asked, hoping to try to change something…anything. "I see…yes. All right…but only for a short while. Yes, sir…I'll be right there, sir. See you soon." He then hung up the phone and turned to Kristin.

"You don't need to explain," she replied. "We already knew it was coming."

"Yes, but I was hoping…it'll only be for a little while." He then headed to the bedroom and quickly changed into his uniform. He found Kristin crying softly. He wrapped her in his arms again.

"I promise I'll be as fast as I can. I'll come for you." His voice trembled as he spoke. "I am not going to let you go."

Kristin only cried a little harder, unable to speak. She buried her face in his chest.

Nathan gently pushed her back to look at her. "I will always love you, no matter what happens." He then kissed her passionately.

Kristin returned the kiss. "I love you, too," she replied quietly.

Nathan nodded and reluctantly tore himself away from her. He gave her one last look before heading out the door. Then he quickly left, hearing soft sobs from Kristin as he walked down the corridor. As he walked to the car, he pleaded softly, "Jack, if you're listening, _please_ , help me protect her."

And Jack promised that he'd try.


	31. To Smooth It Over

The harsh reality that she would now have to face whatever was to happen to her alone, at least for the time being, finally set in for Kristin. Part of her hoped that Nathan would change his mind, tell her he couldn't leave her, come back and wrap his arms around her and promise to never let her go. But she knew it couldn't happen that way; Sylvia had told her that. Certainly, she knew that if Nathan had a choice in the matter, he'd never leave. She knew that leaving her was one of the hardest things he had ever done, and she never realized until now how much she had been depending on him. Now that he was gone, she felt lost; she completely broke down, sobbing uncontrollably, believing there was no way she could possibly get through this on her own.

Sylvia, however, held true to her promise. She whispered soothing, comforting words to her. _You're not alone; I promised I wouldn't leave you. I'm right here. Please, don't cry, honey. Everything's going to be fine. Don't worry._

"That's easier said than done," Kristin said through her tears.

_I know, and you're right; I certainly should expect the reaction you're having. I don't blame you at all, and I do wish I could tell you more. I really do. Just try_ _**, please** _ _? Try to believe everything will be fine._

"It's not so easy knowing that death could be at my doorstep, knowing that I may never see my daughter, Nathan, or Lucas again, knowing that I may never see my friends again." Another soft sob escaped her lips. "The thought is just unbearable to me," she added once she had gained her composure enough to speak again.

_Oh, honey, I know. I wish there was something I could say to make this better…but I can't. You have been an absolute gem; you really have. I don't know anyone who could have accepted this situation with this much grace and dignity._

"Grace and dignity indeed," Kristin scoffed. She shook her head. "I have been anything _but_ gracious and dignified. Look at me; I'm a wreck."

Sylvia gave a light laugh. _Yes, but you're certainly entitled to being that way. You've been through hell…and I can't say it'll get much easier as the night goes on._

Kristin nodded. "But I'm really only going through what you did. _You're_ the one with the grace and the dignity, _not_ me. I don't know how you lasted as long as you did. And then… Well, you never had much of a chance, did you? I am so very sorry you never got to have all the happiness you deserved."

_Oh, Kristin, no. I appreciate you saying it, but I don't want you worrying about me. I'm fine; I accepted what happened to me a long time ago. And please, don't worry that I wasn't happy. I_ _**was** _ _; Jack helped me find happiness, even if it was short-lived. You needn't have doubts about that._

Talking with Sylvia had helped Kristin calm down a bit, and she was starting to think a bit more coherently now. She decided to ask something that had been weighing on her mind. "Sylvia, could I ask you something? A-about Jack…is he with you? Do you see him? We don't exactly know what happened to him, and-"

The sudden ringing of the phone interrupted her train of thought and caused her to jump.

 _I'm afraid we're out of time to speak about that for now,_ Sylvia told her. _Now, relax; dry those tears. Just be calm, and remember, I'm right here with you, okay?_

Kristin nodded. She stood and took a deep breath and walked the few feet to the small end table on the other side of the living room where the telephone sat, only it felt as though she were walking a mile. When she finally got there, she took another deep breath and picked up the receiver. "H-hello?" she said quietly. Then she cleared her throat, muttered an, "Excuse me," and once again, in her most confident voice, said, "Hello?"

 _You're doing fine,_ she heard Sylvia's voice say. _Now I'm going to keep quiet for now, but I'll be here when you need me._

Kristin gave a nod and listened to the voice on the other end.

"Sylvia? It…it's me. P-please, don't hang up. J-just hear me out," Richard told her, sounding terribly nervous.

"Give me one reason why I should?" she countered. She hadn't intended to be so gruff. Where was that coming from? "How exactly did you get this number anyway?"

"Sylvia, the whole base knows you've staying with Jack Remington. Sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything. I mean, what you do is certainly not my business. I know I've acted like a complete jackass, and you certainly have every right to be angry."

" _Jackass_ is an understatement, Richard," she replied. "What you've done, the way you've treated me all these years…it's quite inexcusable."

"I know; you're right. I'm scum, really. I…after we lost Penelope… I guess if I couldn't be happy, I didn't want you to be happy either… And when you couldn't seem to keep another child, it just seemed easier to blame you."

"We both suffered when Penelope died. I don't think it's anyone's fault exactly. I did blame myself…for a long time, but now, I'm starting to realize that I couldn't change anything. There is a reason that bad things happen, Richard, and as much as I miss our daughter, I think there's a reason we lost her, too."

There was a long pause. Finally Richard said, "You're right. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm not sure we could have prevented it either."

"Yes…is…is that why you called? To tell me that?" she pressed.

"Well, I also wanted to tell you that it was wrong of me to deny you the divorce. I was just angry, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I take the blame."

"It takes two to tango, Richard. I think we're both at fault, in our own ways."

"Perhaps, but I think it's more like ninety/ten; I'm on the ninety side, if you couldn't guess."

Kristin gave a light chuckle. "Yes, I got that."

"I'm glad we're talking like this," Richard replied. "I was hoping you could meet me."

"Meet you? Richard, is that really necessary?" she asked, suddenly feeling her nerves act up again.

"Sylvia, I promise, I'll be on my best behavior. I swear; I swear it on Penelope's grave…and you know I haven't even mentioned her…in years. I just thought that I could hand you the papers in person. Plus, I have a little surprise for you as well. I just want to talk for a little while and then give you the life back that I took away. Just _please_ let me see you this last time. What do you say?"

Kristin hesitated. She knew she was supposed to agree, that this was what Sylvia had told them was supposed to happen. But now, she couldn't exactly say the words. She still didn't know if Richard Mayfield was responsible for his wife's death, and she suddenly felt like a lamb being led to the slaughter.

However, Sylvia must have sensed her apprehension. _Say yes. I'll be there with you,_ she urged.

Kristin gave a nod and took a deep breath. "Very well. I'll be there shortly."

"Thank you so much," Richard gushed. "Yes, see you soon."

Kristin hung up the phone and turned around. "You could have told me it would be like that."

Like what?

"That I wouldn't have complete control over my thoughts, my words. I haven't felt that since the day we first arrived here…"

_I know… I'm sorry, but I thought you could use a little help. I'm trying to make it easier on you. If you want, I'll step aside._

"Well, I guess I should thank you. I'm not sure I could have agreed if you didn't give me that push."

_You're quite welcome, sweetheart. Now don't forget what's next. You need to call a cab. And just try to believe everything will be all right._

"Right," she said, taking out the phone directory, finding the number, and dialing it. As she waited for someone to answer, she said a silent prayer, hoping that Sylvia was right.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan parked the car and made his way across the base to Admiral Beatty's office. On a Saturday night, the base was fairly quiet, save for the shouts and hollers he could hear coming from various parties the other soldiers were having. He sighed as he opened the door to the office building and made his way up the stairs. His only thought was getting this over as quick as possible so he could get back to Kristin.

As he entered the lobby of the admiral's office, he heard the admiral's voice. "We're back here, Jack."

Nathan walked to the office, where the admiral and the secretary general were seated.

"Glad you could make it on such short notice, Jack," Secretary Knox greeted. "Please, have a seat."

"Well, truth be told, I did have other plans," Nathan replied, sitting down as he was told. "I really hope we can make this meeting as brief as possible."

The secretary general smiled softly. "Interrupt an evening with your darling Sylvia, did we, Jack?" He then gave Nathan a suggestive wink. "Well, we are sorry about that, but please know this is terribly important. We'd never _dream_ of calling you in on your night off otherwise."

The admiral nodded in agreement. "This really could not be avoided, Jack, but please know how terribly sorry we are."

"I do understand, sir," Nathan replied, looking at them both expectantly.

"Well, we'll just cut right to the chase then," the admiral continued. "We've gotten hold of some Japanese transmissions in the past few days."

"As you know, we'd guessed they were planning an attack all along," the secretary broke in.

Nathan nodded. "Perhaps if we-"

"We want the _Nautilus_ to ship to the Philippines first thing tomorrow morning. I know this is short notice, Jack, but our transmissions tell us this is necessary," the admiral finished.

"I hate to differ with you both, but I do believe the _Nautilus_ crew would be more useful right here. I know the base in the Philippines seems the most likely target…but what if we're wrong?" Nathan countered.

"We've already considered the many possibilities," the secretary assured him. "And please know we are keeping some crews here. The _Dolphin_ crew will be staying behind as well as well as many other ships. Certainly, they are quite capable of handling anything. But we are sending the _Nautilus_ out because we know how competent you are, Jack. Take it as a compliment," Knox told him.

"Isn't there any other way, though? It's going to take me all night to contact my crew."

"Not if you start now. It should only take you an hour or so at the most," the admiral stated.

The secretary smiled. "Of course, I'm sure this will put a little damper on your little romance with Doctor Mayfield. Don't worry, Jack. We'll take _good_ care of her."

Nathan didn't quite like his tone, and he suddenly couldn't hold back any longer. He stood and loomed over him. "You keep your hands off of her, or so help me…" he threatened.

"Might I remind you who you're talking to, Jack. Keep that up, and we'll see to it you won't be home for months. Who _knows_ what could happen to Sylvia in that time?" the secretary teased.

The admiral stepped in. "Jack, I suggest you go and meet with your crew. Then you get home to her before it's too late."

Nathan silently mulled it over in his head. He desperately wanted to punch Frank Knox square in the jaw, but Jack was screaming in his head, telling him to just walk away. Finally, he nodded, backing down. "Very well," he said through gritted teeth. Then he looked at the secretary. "But this isn't over."

The secretary could only chuckle, but he then turned to the admiral. "Aren't you forgetting the tests?"

"Tests?" Nathan questioned.

"Oh, yes; we want you to run a few maintenance tests," the admiral stated. "I'd forgotten."

"And fill out all the proper paperwork," the secretary finished. "And return it to us before morning."

Nathan scoffed. "How in the world do you expect me to accomplish that on such short notice?"

"I know it's a lot to ask, Jack…but you're not the only one," the admiral assured him.

"I suggest you work fast," the secretary added. "You don't want to keep Sylvia waiting."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin waited patiently until she saw the cab pull up outside the apartment building. She took a deep breath and went outside to meet him. She sat in the back and gave the driver the directions to the vacation home.

The driver offered a, "Yes, ma'am," and sped away.

Kristin watched the passing scenery out the window, hoping and praying that nothing bad would happen to her. Still, she found it hard to be confident. As if on cue, she heard Sylvia's voice in her ear telling her not to worry. All Kristin could do was nod. She let out a worried sigh and tried to clear her mind for the remainder of the ride while the driver attempted to make good-natured small talk with her. She politely offered an occasional, "Mmm hmm," and an, "Oh, yes," to be polite, even though she was not in the mood to chat at all. At least it was a distraction from the situation at hand.

Finally, the driver announced, "You're all set, ma'am." He then told her the fare.

Kristin handed over the money, including a generous tip. She then made her way to the door, but her legs suddenly felt like jelly since she was becoming increasingly nervous by the minute. Again, she heard Sylvia's voice in her ear reassuring her, and somehow, she made it to the door. Before she could ring the doorbell, however, Richard opened the door and invited her in.

"I heard the cab pull up," he explained. "Um, please, have a seat." Then, when Kristin obliged, he asked, "Can I get you something to drink?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you. I just…we really should get this over with."

"Right," Richard agreed. He then took a manila envelope out of the drawer, the same one that Reggie had in her office, Kristin was sure. "Let me just sign these." He took out a pen and started to do so. Then he stuffed them back in the envelope and handed them to her. "There you are. You don't need to worry about me anymore. You're free, Sylvia. It…it's something I should have done a long time ago."

"Richard, you don't need… It's fine," she answered.

Richard sat next to her and shook his head. "No…no, it isn't, but it took me this long to finally realize it. I've had what some might call a revelation." He stood and walked over to the fireplace.

Kristin craned her neck to try to see what he was doing and saw that he was fumbling with a vase. She felt her heartbeat quicken as he walked over to her, vase in hand. "R-Richard…" she began nervously. "What…what are you doing?"

Richard wore an odd smile, but he didn't speak. He loomed over her, vase in hand, looking as though he was ready to strike.

"Richard?" Kristin said again, hoping to get his attention. "No, please." She instinctively covered her head with her hands as he came closer to her. She waited for what she thought was the inevitable. But when nothing seemed to happen, she risked a look at him again.

He stood, staring at her, a pained look on his face. "I didn't mean to frighten you." He lowered the vase. "Did…did you think I was going to hit you?"

"Well, with your past record… I'm sorry. I just assumed," she muttered quietly.

"No…I…I had mentioned I had a surprise for you. I put it in here for safekeeping, but…my hand seems to be stuck," he said sheepishly. He held it out to her. "Would you mind?"

She smiled and gave the vase a tug and then another, and it finally slipped off.

"Reach your hand inside," Richard instructed. "I think you'll be pleased."

Kristin gave him a look, wondering what in the world it could be, but then she did as she was asked. Once her fingers made contact with the small, round object, she knew exactly what it was. She pulled it out excitedly. "Oh, you found it. I…I was worried sick. Thank you so much."

"Well, I bought it for you, and I have no use for it. I figured you should have it…to remember me by," Richard explained.

She put the ring back on her finger. "How did you find it?"

"I had to go see the admiral about something and found it outside his office. I recognized it immediately, so I picked it up, knowing you were probably missing it. How did it get there anyway?"

"It's rather a long story, but I guess I dropped it. I'm just glad you were the one who found it," she told him.

"Me, too. Well, it's getting late. I suppose I should let you go." He offered his hand to help her up, and she accepted.

She was slightly taken aback when he pulled her into his arms, but she then returned the embrace. "I really am sorry for everything, darling. I just want you to be happy, and I hope you are."

"Thank you, Richard," she said softly. "I hope you are, too."

He then released her. "I could give you a ride back home." He looked at his watch. "I actually am on my way to meet someone myself."

She shook her head. "No, I couldn't impose. I…I'll call a cab."

"You're sure?"

She nodded. "Positive."

"I'll make the call for you," he offered. He then walked to the phone and made the call. After hanging up, he turned back to her. "It should be here shortly." He looked at his watch again.

"You know, if you need to meet someone, don't let me keep you. I could wait outside," she offered, noticing that he was looking impatient.

Richard looked relieved. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "She must be pretty special."

Richard looked taken aback. "Sylvia, I…"

She smiled. "Come now, Richard; we're both mature adults. You've already told me I was free to do what I wanted; certainly, you have the same right. Do you love her?"

"I think so."

"Good; that's all that matters."

Richard gave a nod and offered his arm. "Well, at least let me walk you outside."

After walking outside, Richard turned to her. "Take care of yourself, Sylvia."

"You, too, Richard," she replied.

He gave her one last hug, then turned to get into his car. After he started the car, he hesitated for a brief minute, wondering if he shouldn't wait after all. But he couldn't; Reggie would be expecting him. And he'd need to come up with a good story to tell her. He took one last look at Sylvia.

She gave a smile and waved to him; he returned the gesture. Then, he took a deep breath and pulled out of the driveway without giving it another thought.


	32. Like You're Trying To Scream Underwater

As she watched Richard's car pull away, Kristin felt fear wash over her again. Why had she sent him away? She sighed; because Sylvia had told her to, that's why.

_I know what I'm doing,_ Sylvia's voice echoed through her mind. _Just trust me._

Kristin didn't answer; she was too nervous. And on top of everything else, she noticed dark clouds rolling in, causing the moonlight to dim. The wind started to pick up, forcing a slight chill to run down her spine. She heard the sound of thunder in the distance, indicating a storm was rolling in. She felt her legs start to tremble beneath her, not because she was afraid of a thunderstorm, but because of the anticipation of not knowing what was going to happen next. She suddenly felt as though she might fall over.

But she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a car stop in front of the house, believing for a moment that perhaps things would not go badly after all. She started to approach the car, but when she heard the ignition turn off, she stopped in her tracks. She suddenly realized this wasn't the cab after all. She instinctively started to back away as both the driver and the passenger door opened.

"Good evening, Sylvia," Frank Knox said to her.

That voice made Kristin cringe. She shut her eyes tight, hoping it was a dream. But then she heard the admiral speak, and she knew that it wasn't.

"We just want to talk to you about a little matter that's been concerning us," Admiral Beatty added. "It…it will only take a moment of your time."

"H-how-" Kristin began, turning to face them. Her voice was hoarse and weak. She swallowed hard and spoke again, "H-How did you know…where to find me?"

The secretary general shrugged. "There are quite a few things we know about you, my dear; some of them very lovely things." Knox caught her gaze and held it. "Others; not so much. We need to do something about that." He started to walk closer to her, but she backed away. "Now, now; you don't need to do that."

"What…what is it you want?"

"We've already told you; we just want to talk," the admiral told her. "Isn't that right, Frank?"

Knox smiled at her. "Of course; we just want to have a little chat, and then we'll be on our way."

Kristin didn't like the way that Knox was looking her up and down. She moved back further still, but Knox kept coming toward her. She felt her back make contact with the garage door. She looked to her left; the front door was about six feet away, but the only problem was that she knew that Richard had locked it, and she didn't have a key. She then looked to her right, which led into the backyard. There weren't a lot of options to hide back there, but there was a small boathouse where Richard kept the fishing boat he had used in years past. If she could just get back there…

But Knox saw his opportunity and pounced, so to speak. He stood in front of her, hands on the garage door on either side of her. "Jack wants to let you know how sorry he is he couldn't be here, but he said I should give you this." He then leaned in close and attempted to kiss her.

Kristin turned her head and struggled, but Knox's body was tight up against hers. "No!" she screamed in protest, "Let me go!" She punched her fists on his chest, but it did not seem to have much effect on him.

Knox grabbed one of her wrists to stop her with one hand and held his other over her mouth. "No, no; there will be none of that now."

Kristin knew shouting wouldn't really help matters much because there was quite a distance between the vacation home and the next house; at least half a mile, and on the other side was a dead end. It would take a miracle for anyone to hear her, and with the approaching storm, any chance of that was quickly stifled.

The unmistakable sound of an approaching car caused Knox to change his position, moving to stand alongside her; however, he made sure to keep a tight hold on her wrist. He turned to the admiral, who had been standing idly by. "Go send him away." Then he brought his mouth close to Kristin's ear and whispered, "You keep your mouth shut, or your captain won't live to see another day. And don't think I can't do it because I can and _will_ ; do you understand?"

When Kristin didn't answer, Knox tightened his grip on her wrist, causing her to gasp softly in pain. She then nodded.

"Smart girl," Knox whispered.

Kristin felt tears sting her eyes as she watched the cab drive off, her only chance at salvation at the moment, so it seemed.

Knox kept hold of her wrist and pulled her in the direction of the backyard. "Come along, darling; we'll have much-needed privacy back here." He stopped at the corner and turned back to the admiral. "You know what to do."

The admiral nodded. As Knox and the doctor disappeared around the corner, he moved back to the car, opened the trunk, and took out a chest, one that was large enough so that a person could fit inside.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan made his way across the base in search of his crew. Certainly, he wouldn't need to give them orders about shipping out the next morning, but there was the matter of the _Nautilus_ tests and the paperwork. Nathan had half a mind to leave it be, but Jack told him he couldn't. As Kristin was to relive the events that Sylvia experienced that evening, he was to relive Jack's. However, Jack assured him that he'd be able to get to Kristin in time. Nathan had little choice but to put his trust in Jack.

On the other side of the base were the other residences. He knew most of the crew had apartments there; he only hoped they'd be in. On a Saturday night, he knew the chances of that were slim. He knocked on the door where Ben Krieg was staying. Naturally, however, there was no answer. He then moved to the next and found that Tim was also away; so was Chief Crocker, Jonathan Ford. Nathan couldn't find a single member of his crew, and time was ticking away.

A young sailor from the _Dolphin_ crew passed him in the corridor. He stopped and saluted. "Good evening, Captain Remington."

Nathan saluted in return. "At ease, sailor. Good evening."

"Are you looking for your crew, sir?" the sailor asked.

"Yes; you wouldn't happen to know where they are, by chance?"

"Ah, I had overheard a few of them saying they were going to the Pearl Lounge," the sailor explained.

"What's that?" Nathan asked.

"It's a little tavern, sir. Just walk to the other side of the base on the left and it's right across the street."

"Thank you; you've been a big help," Nathan told him. "Have a good night, sailor."

"You, too, sir."

Nathan didn't waste any time. He practically ran across the base, moving in the direction the sailor had told him about. And as he neared the street, Nathan could see a sign outside the tavern. He ran across the street and walked inside. Sure enough, most of his senior staff were there; he was relieved to see they weren't drinking but rather shooting pool.

"It's your shot, kid," Ben told Lucas.

"Eight ball, corner pocket," Lucas said before making the shot.

But Nathan approached the table and covered the pocket with his hand. "Sorry to break up the party, gentlemen, but we have a bit of a situation on our hands, and I need your help."

Ben craned his neck to look behind Nathan. "Uh, Captain? Where's the doctor?"

" _That's_ the situation," Nathan replied. "I'm hoping you won't mind cutting your night of fun a little early."

"Not if it's for the doc," Crocker agreed. "What do we have to do?"

Nathan quickly explained that they needed to run maintenance tests on the _Nautilus_ and about the paperwork. Then he and the crew made their way across the base to the submarine.

Commander Ford took the lead and the crew started running the necessary tests. He turned to Nathan. "Don't you worry about a thing, sir; we'll handle this."

"And the paperwork…"

"Will be on Knox's desk shortly," Tim assured him.

Nathan gave him a grateful nod. He started to climb out the hatch when Ben stopped him.

"You never did say where the doctor was," he pressed.

Nathan sighed. "Although I can't say for sure, as far as I know, she's at the senator's home. I promise you, I'll find her."

Ben nodded. "When you do, give her a hug from me."

"I will," Nathan assured him before exiting the submarine.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin felt wetness on her cheeks. At first, she thought it was her own tears, but she soon realized that the rain had started.

Knox didn't seem fazed by it, however. Lightning flashed across the sky followed by the crackle of thunder. He ignored it and turned to her. "Now, Sylvia, darling," he said, his voice cold and uncaring, "we have a little problem. You know things. We know you know them, so there's no sense in denying it. Now if you just tell us the truth, this will be a lot easier." He waited patiently for a few minutes, looking at her expectantly, his hand still holding her wrist as the rain fell down around them.

Kristin, however, made no attempt to speak. She wasn't sure what to say. The only thing she had seen was that letter. Surely, something so elaborate couldn't be about that…could it?

"Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?" Knox asked sweetly. He then pulled her close, causing her to cry out. "You'd better say something or we'll force it out of you."

Kristin heard Sylvia's voice in her head. _You're going to have to talk to them. Just remember, I'm right here with you. I'm not going to let them hurt you._

Kristin couldn't possibly fathom how Sylvia could prevent such a thing, but she pushed the thought from her mind. She looked up at Knox. "I…I really don't know much. I only saw a letter."

"Yes, my dear, but that one letter could be damning evidence for us. Do you understand? When the attack happens, we-"

"When?" Kristin asked. "You mean you know it will happen for sure?"

Knox put his hand to his mouth, feigning surprise. "Oops."

At that moment, the admiral came around the corner, lugging the bulky chest with him.

Kristin noticed how familiar the chest looked. Even though it wasn't rusted and worn, she recognized it instantly as the same chest that they'd found at the coral reef. As the admiral placed it on the ground and opened it, Kristin's heart sank.

Knox turned to the admiral. "It looks like the cat's out of the bag, Frankie."

"Oh, is it?" the admiral said. He looked at Kristin. "My sympathies, madam."

"But…but…I…" Kristin stammered, trying to make sense of all of this.

"Awww, she's so cute, trying to wrap her pretty little head around this," Knox commented to his cohort. "You're just a little too late. And unfortunately for you, your time is drawing to a close. We just can't have you blabbing our little secret to anyone. It's nothing personal, sweetheart. It's really too bad it has to end this way." He brought her close, both of his hands locked around her wrists, and tried to kiss her again.

Kristin struggled against him, and although she turned her head, his lips made contact with her cheek and made their way down the side of her neck. She swallowed hard.

"That doesn't mean we can't share a few moments of passion, however," Knox whispered seductively in her ear.

Another flash of thunder caused the sky to look as bright as day and the thunder boomed loudly. The rain started coming down faster, almost in sheets.

Although being pelted with rain was uncomfortable, Kristin noticed she might be able to use this to her advantage. She noticed Knox was having a difficult time keeping a tight hold on her; the water was making his hands slip.

"You shouldn't delay the inevitable, Sylvia," Knox hissed. "I will have my way," he assured her. He turned to the admiral again. "Get me the rope."

But the admiral realized he left it in the car.

Knox swore in frustration. "Go get it…and hurry." Knox tried to tighten his hold on Kristin, but she kept struggling. Finally fed up with her insolence, he slapped her across the face, stunning her for a moment.

Sylvia helped her keep her senses. _Kristin, honey, stay_ _ **focused**_ _,_ she urged. _Keep struggling. If you get free, run! Don't waste a second._

Kristin gave her head a slight shake, the slap only a minor setback. Although she knew it was futile, she pleaded, "Please, I promise I won't say anything. Let me go." She pulled her arms hard, fighting with all her might. Knox lost his hold on her, and she went tumbling to the ground.

Kristin was frozen for a moment until Sylvia's voice sounded in her mind. _**Run!**_

She didn't waste a moment. She stood and started running for the boathouse. She could hear Knox run after her, his shoes making splashing sounds in the puddles that littered the lawn as the storm raged on. He lunged for her, but lost his footing and slipped.

Kristin turned her head for a split second to see him land flat on his face; she then made a dash for the boathouse and looked for a place to hide.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Richard parked in front of Reggie's house and suddenly couldn't move. He had planned it in his head; he was going to march right up to her and tell her the truth, that he just couldn't do it. But now that he was there, it didn't seem quite so easy.

He sighed and grabbed his umbrella. He couldn't delay it any longer. He walked up the walkway and through the door.

"It's about time," Reggie said. She was sitting in front of the fireplace in an overstuffed chair, her legs swung over the arm. As usual, she had a cigarette in hand. "Tell me everything. I want every last sordid detail." Her eyes shone with excitement.

Richard sat in an identical chair across from her. "Well, I asked her to come over and talk…and she agreed, just like you said she would."

Reggie smiled. "See, I told you. Go on."

"And we had a nice talk," Richard continued.

Reggie rolled her eyes. "Boring," she said in a sing-song voice. "Skip ahead to the nasty little details. How did you do it?"

"I…I took a vase and…"

"Yes?" Reggie urged, on the edge of her seat now.

When Richard didn't continue, she said, "Come on, Ritchie, don't keep me in suspense."

"Well, I took a vase and I…" Richard said again. He was going to lie, but he suddenly realized he couldn't. "Reggie, I…" He stood and walked toward the mantle, leaning up against it. "I couldn't do it."

"What?" Reggie said in a shocked tone. She stood and walked toward him. " _What_ did you say?" Her anger started to rise.

Richard turned to face her. "Regina, I just didn't see a reason why."

"I already told you why, you little maggot, and you agreed it was the right thing to do."

"No, Regina, _you_ agreed. I didn't have much choice in the matter," Richard countered.

"So you had a change of heart at the last minute? You are such a hypocrite. You spent years treating her like dirt; you had no problem hurting her then. But when I ask you to do one simple little task, you suddenly find your morals?" Reggie shouted.

"Yes, I guess I did. I was wrong to treat her that way. She didn't deserve it, and she certainly doesn't deserve to die."

"I'll be the judge of that! Apparently, if I want something done, I'll have to do it myself," Reggie started toward the bedroom to change.

"You lay one finger on her, and I'll report you," Richard countered.

"You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, wouldn't I?" he challenged.

"Well, if that's how you want to play the game, I'm sure I have a few secrets about you I can divulge…like your _business practices_." She raised an eyebrow.

Richard sighed. "Look, Regina, this is pointless. I'm leaving."

" _Leaving?_ Where will you go?"

"I'm leaving the island. I'm taking the next flight out, and if you're smart, you'll do the same."

Reggie stood there, dumbfounded. When she found her voice again, she asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Richard didn't answer her. Instead, he simply walked out the door and made his way back to the car.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The boathouse was small, but it was cluttered. That meant there were several options for hiding places. She quickly scanned the room, weighing all her options. Suddenly, she saw two large barrels in the corner. Deciding that seemed like the best place, she moved quickly and slipped between them, crouching down low and praying that Knox did not find her anytime soon. She then found an old blanket on the floor. She covered herself with it, hoping she would just look a pile of old junk.

A few moments passed, but she then heard Knox call, "Come out, come out wherever you are! The longer you keep me waiting, the harder it's going to be later!"

Kristin held her breath as she heard footsteps on the wooden floor of the boathouse. She tried to stop her heart from pounding since she was sure Knox could hear it.

She then heard him say, "You go around to the other side, see if she slipped out the back."

He was obviously speaking to the admiral. Knox took a few steps forward, stopping just a few feet in front of the barrels.

She said a silent prayer, hoping he wouldn't find her. She then heard the footsteps come closer still. She covered her mouth with her hand so she wouldn't cry out. She heard items being moved around. She then heard a scraping sound behind her and realized he was moving one of the barrels.

She was sure it was over; she simply didn't see any way out of this. This was it; she was intended to die here, and she didn't see any other way things could go any differently.

Suddenly, however, there was a deafening crack and then a loud crash. Knox shouted something, and then there was something that sounded like running.

Kristin wanted to see what had happened, but she was too afraid to look. She simply sat as quietly as she could, listening.

"Kristin?"

Kristin felt a hand on her shoulder, and she let out a cry. That voice, though…it sounded so familiar…

"Kristin, honey, it's me. Shh; don't be afraid."

Kristin felt the blanket being pulled off of her. She shut her eyes tightly, still very much afraid.

"Kristin? You can look. It's okay."

Kristin slowly opened her eyes and turned toward the direction of the voice…and what she saw shocked her. It was like looking in a mirror. There before her stood a woman near the same age with the same hair color, eyes, and features as Kristin. She was perhaps a little taller; her hair style was a little different and she was wearing different clothing, but she was basically her twin.

Sylvia smiled. "Hi."

"You…you're…" Kristin put her hands on Sylvia's shoulders. "This is uncanny."

"Be that as it may, we really don't have much time," Sylvia told her.

"Time? What…what happened exactly?"

"The storm." Sylvia motioned toward the small window of the boathouse. "The lightning struck some of the power lines; the wind knocked some tree limbs down. It was enough to scare Knox…but not for long. You have to go."

"W-What?" Kristin asked. "No…I… Sylvia, I'm not leaving you," she said adamantly.

Sylvia shook her head. "Oh, Kristin, no…you can't do this. I told you that's not how it's supposed to work. You can't change the past."

"Why? Why not? I can't…I can't let him. I won't stand idly by and watch you die!" Kristin felt tears well up in her eyes at the thought. "That's…that's not my nature."

Sylvia wrapped her in her arms. "Oh, sweetheart, I know. I know if you were given the choice, you'd never let anything happen to me; but that can't happen." She pulled away to look at her.

Kristin was sobbing softly now. "No, I can't…I can't go on without you."

"Oh, Kristin; you…you are going to have a long, happy life. You don't need me to have that. Besides, I'll always be with you," Sylvia told her.

"But…you…"

"I'll be fine. I promise. You've done everything I asked of you…and more. There is one more thing you can do for me, but that will have to wait until you get back to your own time. In the admiral's desk, you'll find a drawer with a false bottom. He writes a confession. If you find it, you can prove what happened. Now, you need to go." Sylvia grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the doorway leading out the back of the boathouse. She gave her a light push. "Nathan's looking for you."

Kristin saw Nathan in the distance, getting soaked by the rain, but not seeming to care. He was walking along the shore, cupping his hands over his mouth and shouting. She couldn't make out what he was saying over the storm, but she guessed he was calling her name.

Suddenly, he looked in her direction, and their eyes met. Nathan ran towards her. When he saw her and the woman beside her, he gave them a questioning look. "Kristin?"

Sylvia held out in her hand in greeting. "I don't think we've officially met. Sylvia. Now I'm sorry to do this to you, but you have to take her and _go_."

"You…where…" Nathan began, slightly taken aback.

"Oh, Sylvia!" Knox's voice rang in the distance. "Come out, come out wherever you are!"

"You have to go!" Sylvia shouted. She put her hand on Nathan's shoulders. "She…she doesn't want to leave me. I'm sorry, but it can't be any other way. But if you two want to get back to your own time, you need to take her and leave… _please_."

Nathan hesitated for a moment, but gave her a nod. He took Kristin's hand and led her away from the boathouse toward the shore.

Even in the pouring rain, they could hear Sylvia scream. They both turned and saw Knox pushing her down to the ground, the admiral helping to bind her wrists together.

Kristin started to run back towards them, but Nathan caught her around the waist. "Kristin, no!"

She struggled against him. "Nathan, no…please…we can't let them…" she cried.

"I know, honey; I know, but...she said…"

"Just go!" they heard Sylvia scream.

"No!" Kristin shouted in protest as she watched Knox rip Sylvia's skirt. "Nathan, we have to stop this."

Nathan was about to give in when suddenly, a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky; it hit the power lines again, causing showers of sparks to fall down around them.

Nathan pushed Kristin down on the ground, shielding her with his own body.

They heard one last scream from Sylvia and another deafening boom of thunder before everything went black.


	33. I Feel Like I Could

**Present day-December 6, 2019**

An incessant beeping caused Kristin to stir. It took her a moment to realize it was the beeping of a heart monitor. The first thing she felt was pain: a dull ache on the left side of her head. She willed it to stop, but to no avail. She reluctantly opened her eyes, but felt that familiar sting when the lights in a room are too bright. She groaned softly and shut them again.

She hadn't realized that she wasn't alone, and whoever it was must have been watching her and had known the problem.

"I'm sorry; let me just dim the lights," a familiar voice said.

_Oh, bless his soul,_ Kristin thought gratefully. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes once again; this time, they didn't sting. It took a brief moment for her eyes to adjust as she glanced around the room, instantly recognizing it as medbay on _seaQuest_.

"Do you remember what happened?" the voice asked.

Kristin turned her head in the direction, seeing Joshua. Her eyebrows knitted in confusion. She remembered Sylvia, Frank Knox, the storm, Nathan pushing her down. She looked around the room. Nathan wasn't there. She turned back to Joshua. "Nath…" she began, her voice rough and weak.

"He's fine," Joshua assured her. "He's on the bridge."

Kristin cleared her throat and spoke again. "But Sylvia…she was…"

Joshua placed a hand over hers. "We'll get to that later," he told her. "For now, you need rest. Do you remember what happened?" he asked again.

She thought for another moment and then shook her head. The last thing she remembered was Nathan pushing her down and then, there was nothing. That didn't explain how she ended up in medbay.

"Some geomagnetic storms in the area caused the submarine to jerk. You lost your balance, and you had quite a nasty fall." He motioned to her head. "There's no internal bleeding, but it's going to be swollen and painful for a few days. Rest is all you can do." He paused for a moment, and then continued, "The rest of the boat wasn't so lucky. The geomagnetic activity fried the computer systems, apparently. With the backup generators, we have lights, power for the medical equipment, but the bridge is in disarray. We're dead in the water…and might be for a few days yet."

"How long…how long have I been out?" she choked out.

"About twelve hours, give or take some," he replied. "Now we've given you some pain medication; I'd like you to at least stay the night in medbay. I'm also going to order a round of antibiotics, just to make sure you don't get an infection. If everything goes well, you can be released tomorrow. I'll inform the captain you're awake; he asked me to do so, though it might be a while before he can get away. Do you have any questions?"

Kristin had about a million of them. She didn't quite understand. After finding out about the fall, she realized she did remember that; that happened just before they ended up in 1941. Was that all just a dream? Or had it really happened? "What day is it?" she asked quietly.

"It's Friday."

"No…what's the date?" she asked.

"December sixth," he stated. He glanced at the clock. "Though it's nearly December seventh." Then before Kristin could say anything more, he said, "Just get some rest. We'll talk about the rest of this later; I promise."

She relented, giving a slight nod. Trying to make sense of things was making her head pound anyway. Perhaps after she was a bit more coherent, things would be easier to comprehend.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

It didn't take long for Kristin to become more alert. A nurse came in to bring her some medication, the antibiotics Joshua ordered for her. She then turned up the lights just a touch.

"And how are you feeling?" the nurse asked her.

"A little more awake," Kristin replied.

The nurse smiled warmly. "That's good to hear. Also, the doctor wanted me to inform you the captain will be here shortly. Is there anything else you need?"

Kristin shook her head. "I don't think so."

"Then I'll leave you to rest. Just call me if you need."

"Thank you, Natalie," Kristin said as the nurse left the room.

Kristin lay back and sighed. Now that she was more alert, her mind was racing. She was still trying to figure out if the experience with Sylvia had all been a dream. However, one thing didn't make sense at all, and that was the date. The last time she was on _seaQuest_ …well, at least the last day she remembered being on _seaQuest_ , was November twenty-eighth. Something was seriously wrong, especially if she's only been out for twelve hours. No, it didn't make sense.

Then a thought came to her: the ring. She'd had the ring around her neck before… A hand rose to her throat only to find nothing there. She sighed and looked at her left hand. She was fairly sure there was no ring there either, but she hoped it might magically appear. Of course, she found it empty.

"It doesn't make sense," she muttered in frustration.

"You can say that again."

Kristin looked in the direction of the voice to see Nathan. She smiled.

He walked up to the side of her bed and took her hand in his. "I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. The bridge is a madhouse right now, unfortunately."

"So I've heard," Kristin replied. "Joshua mentioned we had a little accident, as it were."

Nathan nodded. "What _else_ did he tell you?"

She sighed. "Nothing really," she admitted, "though I've been trying to make sense of things myself." She paused. "Nathan, did I… Were we…" she began.

"We were," Nathan confirmed. "All of us."

"So it wasn't a dream," she stated quietly.

"If it was, we all had the very same dream." He glanced at the clock. "We've all had a few more hours than you to deal with it, though."

"So how did we…get back?"

Nathan shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. The last thing I remembered was-"

"You pushing me down in the storm?" Kristin finished.

Nathan nodded. "And the next thing I knew, we were waking up on the bridge. Well, most of us, except you. You weren't conscious." He motioned towards her head. "And you had that bump on your head." He paused and took a breath. "After the initial shock wore off, Joshua guessed we had been out for eight or nine hours, judging by the swelling of your bump."

"Eight or nine hours?" Kristin said. "But it's December-"

"I know," Nathan replied. "It…it doesn't make sense, but I'm not sure it's supposed to. Not yet, anyway. Right now, we need to deal with the present. And in the present, I have a submarine that is dead in the water, stuck in an underwater canal, and no way to put out a distress call. Lieutenant O'Neill, Commander Ford, and Lucas are working on putting out a signal in Morse Code, but if there are no other boats around…"

"No one will hear it," Kristin finished.

"Exactly," Nathan said sadly.

But Kristin had a thought. "I'm sure if we've really been missing for more than a week that the UEO has ordered a search party."

"As long as it hasn't been called off yet," Nathan told her. "You know the UEO as well as I do."

"You really think Admiral Noyce would allow that?"

"Bill alone, never," Nathan confirmed. "But the rest of the brass? If it involves losing money…"

"I see your point," Kristin said with a nod, letting out a sigh. She gave Nathan's hand a squeeze. "I'm sure we'll get this figured out soon. We've been through worse."

Nathan gave her a small smile. "That, we have," he agreed. "Are you…all right…with everything?"

"It's a bit of a shock," she admitted. "I didn't quite expect things to go the way they did."

Nathan nodded. "I don't think anyone did, but at least Sylvia did what she promised."

"Yes, at least that," Kristin agreed.

There were a few moments of silence between them before either of them spoke again.

"I really hate to leave you, but I really need to get back to the bridge," Nathan said reluctantly. "And you are supposed to rest."

She nodded. "I'll go back to sleep, I promise." She then stifled a yawn.

Nathan leaned over and gave her a light kiss on the forehead. "Don't you worry about a thing…and perhaps tomorrow, we can speak more."

"I'd like that," she told him. "Goodnight, Nathan. Good luck."

"Sleep well, Kristin," Nathan answered before leaving the room.

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**December 7, 2019**

_Kristin found herself standing before Frank Knox and Admiral Beatty at the vacation home of the senator in Oahu. Knox came towards her, and she instinctively backed away, looking for a way to escape._

_But Knox held her arm tightly, leading her into the backyard. He turned and said something to the admiral Kristin couldn't make out. Then he turned back to her, pushed her down onto the ground._

_Kristin screamed in protest, but Knox didn't seem to care. He took out a rope and bound her wrists together. Kristin did her best to struggle and fight against him, but she was no match for him. He immediately overpowered her. She felt tears sting her eyes as she heard an unmistakable rip at her waist._

" _Please don't," she begged through her tears. "You…you don't have to do this."_

_Knox put a finger to his lips. "Shh; I promise you'll enjoy it. Don't ruin these last few moments we have together with your whining."_

_Another rip and Kristin felt her shoulders shake as she let out a few silent sobs. "No!"_

_Knox slapped her hard across the face before he proceeded to have his way with her._

Kristin sat upright in bed, her heart pounding and gasping for breath. She was drenched in perspiration. She could feel her cheeks were wet. It took her a brief second to realize she'd shed tears. She brushed them away and tried to calm down. "It was just a dream," she muttered. "Just a dream."

Several minutes later, she felt calmer, but then more questions arose in her mind. Why was she even having such a dream? It was apparent that whatever happened in 1941 was over…wasn't it? And she already knew this was not what had occurred, so why would she be dreaming about it…and feeling frightened besides? Or were these memories? If Sylvia was her past life, is it possible she could be remembering what Sylvia had actually experienced? Her head suddenly started to throb at the thought of trying to figure it out. She wasn't quite ready for that. She then heard a gentle knock on the door frame, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Glad to see the patient is awake," Joshua said as he entered the room. "How are you feeling?"

"A little better," she told him. "The pain isn't as bad as it initially was."

Joshua noticed her hair was slightly damp, however. "You feel feverish? You were sweating," he noted.

She shrugged. "I don't…" she began, not really sure how to answer.

Joshua took a thermometer and placed it in her mouth. A minute later, he announced, "Ninety-nine point two. As you know, it's nothing serious. Probably a result of the bump, but we'll need to be sure you haven't gotten an infection. We'll need to run a blood test to be sure."

She simply nodded in response as Joshua continued on.

"And you're probably getting hungry, so we'll have something brought in from the mess for you. But first, let me check the rest of your vitals." He started doing so, starting with her eyes. Before he shone a light into them, however, he said, "Your pupils are dilated." He gave her a questioning look. "Are you _sure_ you're feeling all right?"

She sighed. "I had a little nightmare before I woke up, that's all. That would explain the pupil dilation."

"Is it something you want to talk about?"

She shook her head and offered him a forced smile. "No, I'm fine, thank you. Just a silly little dream is all."

Joshua looked at her, trying to decide if she was being sincere, but he finally relented and continued his exam. When he was finished, he said, "I'll order the blood draw and if we find you have no infection, you can be released later today. Otherwise, this is where you stay for now."

She nodded. "Have you heard how things are on the bridge, by chance?"

Joshua shook his head. "Last I knew, it was about the same. Most of the bridge crew worked late into the night."

"And Nathan?"

"Commander Ford said he finally retired to his quarters at about 0400 hours. He's probably still asleep. It's only a little after 0900," he said as he was taking notes on a clipboard in his hand. He then looked at her. "Don't worry; I'm sure we'll be found soon."

"Of course we will," she replied. Admittedly, she wasn't worried about that, though she couldn't say why. "I was just wondering when I might see him again."

Joshua smiled. "Don't worry; I'm sure he'll stop in as soon as he can." He placed a hand on her leg and gave it a gentle pat. "Get some rest."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Meanwhile, on the bridge, Nathan swore under his breath. He had attempted to go to sleep, but only managed a few hours; and they weren't very well-rested hours either. At about 0800, he ventured back to the bridge, finding the crew just as exhausted as he was. He sent a few of them off to bed and asked Lieutenant O'Neill for an update on their distress signal.

"Still going strong, sir," O'Neill informed him.

"But still no response?" Nathan asked hopefully.

"None, sir."

Nathan sighed in frustration. He knew Lucas and the other computer analysts were trying to figure out the computer system, each of them working in shifts, but everything seemed to be going in slow motion.

Suddenly, the submarine jerked and a low rumble could be heard.

"What the hell was that?" Nathan asked. Of course, no other crew member could answer his question since all the computer systems were down. That also meant no WSKR views.

Another jerk occurred. Nathan took out his PAL unit and contacted Chief Crocker. "Might you be able to enlighten me on what just happened, by chance?"

Unfortunately, all that could be heard was static that sounded like this: "Won…ws…ir."

Nathan couldn't make it out. "What? Crocker, what did you say?"

Nathan simply heard more static in response, so he and Commander Ford raced to launchbay and were surprised by what they saw.

Crocker was standing there with three men he didn't recognize. One of the men turned to him and said, "Captain Bridger?"

"Yes," Nathan replied, somewhat unsure of whom these men were.

"I'm Captain David Abernathy from the _Marlin_. You can't believe how happy we are that we found you. We thought you were dead."

"Well, as you can see, that's obviously not the case at all," Nathan replied.

Captain Abernathy nodded. "If you'd be so kind to come aboard the _Marlin_ , you can inform the admiral yourself. I think he'd like that. Then I assure you, we'll get you out of this mess."

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By late morning, Kristin had eaten. She was still a bit on edge about Sylvia and Frank Knox, but did her best to push it out of her mind. She lay back and tried to relax. The pain medication made her sleepy. She only hoped she wouldn't have any more unpleasant dreams. Suddenly, however, she felt the submarine jerk and sat up.

Immediately, Joshua entered. "Nothing to worry about. Are you all right?"

"Yes, I'm fine…but what's going on?" she asked with concern.

Before he could answer, Chief Crocker appeared in the doorway. "Permission to enter, Doctor?" he asked respectfully.

Kristin and Joshua answered in unison, "Permission granted."

Crocker ignored the slightly awkward moment and obliged. "I…I'm sorry to rush in like this, but we've been found."

"Oh, that's wonderful," Kristin gushed.

"I just came by to tell you. I'll leave you be then. You get some rest now." And with that, he quickly retreated.

"I'm not sure I've ever seen him so relieved," Joshua commented.

"Me either. Perhaps our luck is changing then."

"It looks that way."

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"My God, Nathan," Bill exclaimed. "I can't believe you've been stuck in that canal for over a week; I was sure we combed every inch of that area."

"I can't believe you had to call up all of our families and tell them we were dead," Nathan replied. He let out a sigh. "I'm only sorry you need to call them up and explain that it was all a mistake."

Bill waved a hand. "It will certainly be much easier this time around, so don't worry about it. I'm just glad you've all been found alive and well."

"Most of us, at least," Nathan corrected.

"Excuse me?"

"Kristin had a little accident. She'll be fine, but she got quite a bump on the head due to the geomagnetic storm. She's in medbay now, but Levin did inform me that she should be able to be released today. She just needs to take it easy for the next week or so," Nathan told him.

"Well, I'm relieved to hear she'll be all right, but you will all be taking it easy for the next week or so. As soon as we get you all back here, you are all going to be ordered to spend the next week in Pearl _resting_. That means no impromptu dives to any of the coral reefs, no crazy schemes cooked up by Ben Krieg, _nothing_. Rest and relaxation only, and that's an _order_. The _seaQuest_ is obviously going to be in port for some much-needed repairs, so no one should have any excuse to work. Are we clear?" Bill asked.

"Oh, don't worry; I doubt Kristin will argue with you. This week was…very trying."

"Which is why I want you all to rest," Bill stated. "And that includes _you_."

Nathan gave him a look. "Surely, I can oversee any work done on my boat."

But Bill shook his head. "Surely, we can handle it without you. I want you to rest…and no arguments." Then Bill softened a bit. "I'm not just telling you as your superior, Nathan, but also as your friend. Take the time off and enjoy it while you can. You look like you need it."

Nathan was about to open his mouth in protest, but changed his mind. Bill was right. "Fine, you win."

"Of course I do," Bill said with a grin. "Now get to work, and I'll see you all soon."

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It wasn't long before Nathan and Captain Abernathy quickly devised a plan to lift the _seaQuest_ out of the canal. Now, this was easier said than done, _seaQuest_ being the largest submarine in the UEO fleet. However, since the _Marlin_ had working computer systems, they were able to easily call in recruits. The _Glory_ was only about twenty-five miles away and was able to assist.

Between the _Marlin_ and the _Glory_ , both submarines had enough power to pull the _seaQuest_ out of the canal. That was only the half of it, however, since the _seaQuest_ still had to be brought back to Pearl, but at least they were only two hundred miles off the coast. With the _Marlin_ and the _Glory_ working together, they were able to pull the _seaQuest_ back to Pearl without incident.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Two hours later, Joshua appeared in Kristin's room once again. "Good news," he announced. "You, my dear, are infection free."

"Oh, good," she breathed.

"And we're nearly in Pearl, so I've been told. The admiral has ordered us all to rest while the _seaQuest_ gets repairs. I'm sure once we dock, we'll be told more. I had one of the nurses go get you some clothes from your room. Then, you're free to go. Just pack what you need and then rest, though, okay?"

She held up a hand. "I promise you, I don't plan on doing much else. I'll be good."

"Good to hear, Kristin." He started to leave, but had an afterthought. "And, Kristin?"

"Yes?"

"I'm really glad everything worked out."

She gave him a smile. "Me, too." She then watched him leave, left with her own thoughts once again. On one hand, she was relieved. Certainly, Sylvia had done everything she could to protect her, just as promised. She and the rest of the crew were transported back to their own time, business continuing as usual. Really, she couldn't ask for more, but she couldn't help the niggling feeling in the pit of her stomach that something still wasn't quite right. She willed it away. She was just being paranoid, or so she thought.


	34. Wave My Fist In Front Of Your Face

Once Kristin had been released from medbay, one of the nurses escorted her to her room. Kristin thanked her, and the nurse went on her way. Kristin took a deep breath and walked inside to find her room just as she'd left it before. She didn't quite expect that, though she wasn't sure why. She wasn't sure what she had expected. Some cryptic message that Sylvia had left her from beyond the grave, perhaps? The ring sitting on her bedside table?

She finally decided she was looking for a sign, something, _anything_ , that would help explain exactly what had transpired in 1941. Yes, certainly, she knew what had happened; she'd witnessed it all first-hand…except those last few moments. And then… She shuddered, remembering the way Sylvia was screaming.

She tried to think of something else. She needed to pack, so she focused her energies on that instead. She took her suitcase out from under her bunk and began filling it with the items she'd need for another week of shore leave. But it wasn't long before her thoughts drifted back to Sylvia. She sighed and sat down on her bunk, a half-folded T-shirt in hand. Something didn't make sense, yet she couldn't place her finger on it exactly.

Really, it was silly. Sylvia had told her what was to happen from the beginning…to a point. They were there to solve her murder; they couldn't change anything that happened to her. That was it. Sylvia had delivered on her end of the bargain. They were sent back to their own time, so really, why was Kristin complaining? This is what she wanted, to be back on _seaQuest._ Everything was normal. _Only it wasn't._

Then Kristin had a thought. They never actually _solved_ her murder…did they? Yes, they found out who the murderer was…well, rather, _murderers_. However, Kristin never actually saw how she was murdered. She'd heard the screams…the screams she couldn't get out of her head. She knew that Knox raped her; that was certain. She wasn't exactly sure about the admiral; she never saw him lay a hand on Sylvia. Was he just an eyewitness, or did he actually… Kristin shook her head. From what she saw of the admiral, it seemed that he was simply doing Knox's bidding. No, what he did wasn't right. Still, for some reason, she was sure Sylvia died by Knox's hand alone.

Kristin did remember what Sylvia had told her: that she had to find the confession the admiral wrote, which was in his desk in a drawer with a false bottom. Except the only problem was that it was now seventy-eight years later. The likelihood of the admiral's desk being in functioning use was slim, and even if it were, she didn't expect it to be easy to find. She decided she'd have to mention that little detail to Nathan when-

A knock at the door pulled her out of her thoughts. "Come in," she called.

"I've come to escort the lady," Ben announced upon entering, a grin on his face. "Captain's orders," he added. He sat next to her on the bunk and put an arm around her. "I'm glad to see you up and about."

"Thank you. And thank you for coming by, but really, I'm fine. I just-"

Ben shook his head. "If the captain had had his way, he'd be here himself, except he has to meet with the admiral as soon as we dock. And he wants to be sure you get to the hotel safe and sound. He's also informed me that he has a special room assignment for you, and I'm not to let you out of my sight until you are brought to your room to rest. He threatened me with bodily harm."

Kristin laughed softly. "Well, that does sound like Nathan. Special room assignment, though? What does that mean?"

"I think it's supposed to be a surprise," Ben replied. He motioned to the suitcase. "Do you need any help?"

She shook her head. "No, I think I can handle it."

"Doc." Ben gave her a look.

She sighed. "I suppose it couldn't hurt," she relented. "As long as you fold neatly."

"I'll do my very best," he promised with a smile.

Kristin handled her personal items while Ben took on her pants and shirts. Working together, they had her bag packed in about fifteen minutes.

"I am very impressed, Mr. Krieg," Kristin gushed as she zipped her bag. "I never knew you could be so organized."

Ben shrugged. "Old habits from the academy die hard," he explained. "I guess it's something I can't forget. I just don't practice it much anymore."

Just then, the boat jerked; Ben instinctively put an arm out so Kristin wouldn't fall. When things settled again, he said, "I think we've docked."

"I didn't realize it would be quite so rough."

"You all right?"

She nodded. "Thank you."

Just then, an announcement came over the intercom, confirming the fact they had docked safely in Pearl.

Ben then picked up Kristin's bag. "I think that's our cue. Are you ready?"

She looked around the room, checking to see if she forgot anything. "I…think so."

"Oh, one more thing the captain wanted me to tell you," Ben said as they headed toward the door. "No mention of what happened over the past several days to the admiral. We don't want to end up with mandatory psych evaluations."

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it," Kristin replied. "I'm still trying to make sense of it myself."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Twenty minutes later, they stepped out into the mid-morning Hawaiian sun. Kristin then felt a gentle tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Nathan.

"I see you're in good hands," he told her.

She smiled. "Yes, Mr. Krieg has followed your orders to the letter, so there is no need to order a body bag for him…at least not yet," she quipped.

Nathan gave her a smile. "Well, I can't stay since I need to speak with Bill, but I wanted to give you this." It was a hotel key card. "Lucas and I will be in the room right next to you." He brought his lips closer to her ear and whispered, "It's an adjoining room, so I'll be close by if you need."

She took the key card from him. "That was…very thoughtful of you," she replied softly.

"I won't be long, I don't think. I'll come see you when I'm finished?"

"I'd like that."

"Good; I'm sorry we haven't gotten a chance to talk much yet," Nathan told her.

She waved a hand. "We've both been a little preoccupied."

"See you later then." He looked at Ben. "And remember what I told you."

Ben gave him a salute. "Aye, sir."

"Oh, go easy on him," Kristin said. "He's been a dear."

"It just better stay that way," Nathan answered as he turned to leave.

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By the time they arrived at the hotel, however, Kristin was exhausted. The hotel was close to the base, so it was within walking distance. However, their walk was interrupted every few minutes because another crew member wanted to see her, ask her how she was. Certainly, she wanted to see them, and this really was the first reunion she'd had with most of them, but it was very trying for her.

Ben opened the door for her and allowed her to step inside first. Kristin lay down on the bed. "Oh, thank goodness," she breathed.

"Tired?" Ben asked as he set her bag down.

"Not exactly; I'm just not used to all this moving around. I'm just glad to be somewhere where I can relax."

"You and me both; I think everyone feels that way. Everyone's just so happy everything worked out with…well, you know."

She nodded. "I know."

"Well, I should probably let you get settled," Ben told her. "But if you need anything, Katie's room is right next door. And I'm just across the hall. In fact, all the senior staff is on this floor, I believe."

She gave him a smile. "Ben, you don't need to worry about me anymore. I appreciate it, but I'm a big girl…and I don't have the possibility of my untimely death looming over me anymore. I can take care of myself," she said gently.

Ben gave her a sheepish look. "I'm sorry; it's just…"

"I know," she replied. "And I do promise that if I do need anything, you'll be the first one I come to, okay?"

"Sounds like a deal," he said with a smile. "Well, maybe I'll see you later?"

"Perhaps. Thanks again."

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Kristin watched him leave and turned to her suitcase. She set it on the bed and unpacked her things and started putting them in their rightful places. She was grateful that the crew was still so protective of her; she found it extremely sweet that Ben Krieg was suddenly so sensitive towards her, especially since he was not that way before. Certainly, this experience had changed each and every one of them…and she was still deciding if that was a good thing.

Yes, if anything, they were brought closer together. But she couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. She wasn't sure what she expected, but she decided she should at least feel that everything that had occurred in 1941 would be resolved. But she didn't feel that way at all. Something wasn't right.

She looked down at the small bag of toiletries in her hand and spied the bottle of lavender body wash she'd brought. That was the answer, she decided. She grabbed a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom. She let out a small, happy sigh when she saw the spacious bathtub.

That was one luxury Kristin missed living on a submarine: being able to take bubble baths. There was nothing a bubble bath couldn't cure, she felt. She put in the stopper and turned the water on; the trick was to have the water as hot as she could stand it. It always felt like the warmer water made her troubles melt away. She then ran a capful of the body wash under the water, filling the room with a lovely scent.

When the bath was full enough, she undressed and stepped into the water. She slid down slowly, letting the water soothe and relax her. She lay back and closed her eyes, feeling all her negative energy being washed away. After a while, she felt much more relaxed. She decided, once again, that she was just being paranoid about Sylvia. Had there been more to do with her, Sylvia would have told her, wouldn't she?

Then a thought dawned on her; she didn't hear Sylvia's voice anymore. Well, certainly, she never expected to, but she wondered if she called her, would she answer? "Sylvia? I…I know that we've done everything you asked…but I feel like there's something else. I…I don't feel right…about certain things. I don't even know how to describe it. If you could give me some direction, some help, I'd appreciate it. Or even some reassurance?"

Kristin waited for what she felt like was a reasonable amount of time, but received no answer whatsoever. Part of her didn't expect one, so she wasn't terribly gutted. Still, she'd hoped. "Sylvia?" she said weakly in one last effort to contact her. She sighed. "Never mind; I didn't think you'd answer anyway."

She shook her head. The one thing she was surprised about was how connected she and Sylvia had become over such a short period of time. Indeed, if Sylvia was her past life, that was a given; but Kristin finally decided what she felt was an emptiness. She felt lost, and she'd never really felt that way before, not in many years anyway; well, she'd felt it in 1941, but the situation was different then. But why in 2019 was she still feeling it? Everything was supposed to be all right now. It was not supposed to be this way.

She sighed and lay back once again. She was working against the healing powers of the bath, she told herself. "You're just being silly, Kristin," she chastised herself. "Just relax; everything's fine."

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As she was allowing the water to relax her, however, she thought she heard noises. She sat up and listened for a moment. It sounded like…footfalls. She never heard the door open, but she thought that perhaps Lucas or Nathan had come into the room. "Lucas, is that you?"

No answer.

"Nathan?"

She didn't receive an answer then either, but she heard the footsteps come closer. _Strange._ It almost sounded as if they were right…

She turned around and there, standing above her was a man. She instantly recognized his face; _Frank Knox_. She opened her mouth to scream, but the effort was quickly distinguished because Knox put his hands on her shoulders and forced her down beneath the water.

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Kristin coughed and sputtered in the water, sitting up immediately. When she came to her senses, she looked around the room, realizing no one was there. She had fallen asleep and apparently had slid down beneath the water. She shook her head, willing the awful dream away. "Pull yourself together, Kristin. Ugh," she muttered and pushed herself up out of the water. She then opened the drain and began to towel off.

After doing so, she began to get dressed again. She then looked in the mirror. She noticed how pale she still looked, noticed the dark circles under her eyes. She sighed. She was used to seeing herself this way as of late, but she had an excuse. However, she would think that being back in her own time with nothing to fear that she would stop having dreams about Frank Knox. Why was she so afraid of him?

She shook her head. It didn't make sense. She also noticed how loosely her clothing fit. She had lost weight over the course of the past week. Her T-shirt hung on her. Since the T-shirt was a little big, the neck of it hung down, revealing a portion of her chest and shoulders. She tried adjusting it so it would look more normal, but as she was doing so, she noticed something: a dark bruise on her left shoulder. She pulled her shirt down to examine it better. She didn't remember seeing it before. As she stood closer to the mirror, she noticed it had four vertical lines in it; a handprint?

No, it couldn't be, she decided. She shook her head. It had to have been an injury from when she fell on the bridge. Perhaps Joshua just didn't mention it. She fixed the shirt once again, adjusting it so that it would cover her properly. She was just being paranoid, she told herself. She started to brush her hair out, doing her best to put any thoughts about Frank Knox and Sylvia Mayfield out of her mind.

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Just as she was finishing up in the bathroom, she heard a door open. She cringed. "Nathan?" she called, hoping her voice wasn't shaking.

"Yes, it's me," he called from the other room. "Mind if I come over to your side?"

She breathed a sigh of relief. "Not at all. I was just freshening up." She walked into the living area and put on a smile. Really, it wasn't forced since she was very happy to see him.

Nathan unlocked her door and entered the room. He immediately wrapped her in his arms. "I'm so sorry we haven't gotten a chance to see one another much since…"

She returned the hug. "Don't worry about it," she whispered. "We're together now."

He nodded and released her. "I hope you don't mind the rooming situation. I know it's not quite the same as sleeping in the same bed, but…"

"Nathan, it's fine. We haven't exactly discussed our relationship. Besides, I'm not sure it would be very appropriate for us to be… The rumors would be flying," she explained.

"Yes…well…so…" he began nervously.

She laughed softly. "I didn't mean we had to discuss it now. Perhaps in the next few days?"

Nathan became more relaxed. "Deal. So, are you hungry? The others are going out to eat. I thought we'd join them."

She hesitated. "Maybe we could stay in instead? We could order room service?" she suggested. She wasn't too keen on going out and about yet. "It's just I'm not exactly feeling well enough to go traipsing about the town," she explained.

"Does Joshua know?" Nathan asked, suddenly very worried. He brought a hand to her cheek. "You are a little pale."

She took her hand in his and gently pushed it away. "Yes, Joshua knows. I'm just supposed to rest; you know that. It's just a bump on the head." She decided to change the subject. "So what did the admiral have to say?"

"Well, the whole brass is just amazed that we were only several hundred miles off the coast the whole time."

She gave him a look.

"That's what they think anyway, and I'm not going to tell them otherwise," he explained.

She shrugged. "I don't blame you." She paused for a moment. "But, um, are you sure we weren't?"

"What?"

"Well, when I had that experience with Lillian on the _George_ , we all know that was nitrogen narcosis," she stated.

"I thought you decided it wasn't after all?" Nathan countered.

She shook her head. "Oh, I don't know. Sometimes, I think it wasn't. Other times… I think that's the only way I can deal with it, by telling myself that it was just nitrogen narcosis. It certainly sounds more reasonable than saying I was possessed by a ghost."

"You think what happened with Sylvia was nitrogen narcosis, too?" Nathan guessed.

"No," she replied, "but maybe it was some other sort of strange phenomenon. We all know there was geomagnetic activity in the area. And geomagnetic activity, when strong enough, can cause hallucinations in the human brain."

"So you think we were all hallucinating?" Nathan asked. "For _nine_ days?"

She sighed. "I…I don't know; I'm just trying to make sense of all this. I just don't… Do you get the feeling something isn't right?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, towards the end, all we wanted was to get back to our own time, right?"

"Yes."

"Why is that?"

Nathan chuckled slightly. "Because this is where we belong; this is where our lives are. And because we didn't want anything to happen to you."

She nodded. "And because we believed everything would be right once we got back; everything would be normal. Business would continue as usual."

"Well, yes," Nathan agreed.

But Kristin shook her head. "Only it _isn't_."

"What do you mean?"

She took a deep breath. "Nothing is normal here. Something isn't right. We wouldn't be docked in Oahu if it was."

"Kristin, I don't think-"

"If we really were not hallucinating, then we were sent back in time to solve a murder, yes?"

"Of course, and we did," Nathan told her.

She shook her head. "No, we _didn't_ , Nathan. We didn't solve anything."

"We found out who murdered Sylvia," Nathan pointed out.

"Yes, but we did not see her actual murder. We only heard her…" She shuddered. "Well, I am not sure if she was trying to spare us from watching it. I know I couldn't have stood idly by and watched anyway."

Nathan sighed. "Sylvia wanted you to show her what happened; we did that. She sent us back; it's over and done with."

"Did you actually see her being placed in that chest?"

"Well, no… But I think you might be being a little paranoid."

"Am I? Well, explain to me why I don't have the ring anymore," she demanded.

"What?"

"When we were sent back to our own time, it was eight or nine hours from the moment we first experienced the geomagnetic activity, right?"

Nathan nodded. "That's what Joshua said based on the swelling of your head."

"Don't you remember? I had Sylvia's ring on a chain around my neck," she told him.

"You wanted Sylvia with you," he answered, suddenly remembering. "But maybe they removed it in medbay? Forgot to return it?"

She gave him a doubtful look. "None of my staff would ever neglect to do such a thing. And you know how competent Joshua is. He knew how important that ring was. Most of the crew does. I don't think anyone would forget to return it."

"It's possible the chain broke, though," Nathan said. "In all the commotion, it could have fallen off on the bridge, and no one noticed."

"Well, I can't argue with you there; I suppose it's possible."

"If you're feeling up to it, we can go down to the base tomorrow and have a look," Nathan suggested.

She nodded. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt, though I doubt we'll find anything."

Nathan shrugged. "Just humor me."

"Nathan, what do you think the chances of Admiral Beatty's desk still being in use today are?" she asked after a pause.

He gave her a look. "I don't know. Why do you ask?"

"Sylvia. When I met her, she told me that the admiral wrote a confession. It's in his desk in a drawer with a false bottom," she explained. "That's what Sylvia said."

"You still think this isn't over?" he asked her. "That we still have to solve it?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I feel like I owe it to her, like it was her dying wish…or something. She didn't tell me I had to; she just said she wanted me to do something for her."

"Well, I suppose we can do some research about it, see what we can come up with. Lucas can search the Internex."

"That's an idea," she agreed.

"But I don't want you getting upset if we can't find it," Nathan added. "You do realize it could have been destroyed, sold for scrap lumber or something?"

"I know; I know. All I'm asking is that we try," she answered.

"Um, so, how about we order some food? I'm starving," Nathan said.

Kristin nodded and took the menu off the bedside table and started looking it over. "All these dishes sound delicious."

Nathan looked over her shoulder. "We could order a couple and share?"

"Sounds wonderful."

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Once their meals had arrived, Nathan turned on the vid-screen. "Since you're not ready to go out, I thought we could find a movie to watch here, if that's all right. It will at least help get our minds off of everything that's happened."

"All right," she replied as she portioned out the meals onto two plates. "But no horror movies; I'm not in the mood."

Nathan started flipping through the movie channels. " _Casablanca_ is on," he announced. "And it just started."

"Please, no," she said gently.

He turned to look at her. "I thought it was one of your favorite movies?"

"It is, but I'd rather not watch anything that has to do with World War II, if you don't mind."

Nathan nodded. "Good point." He flipped through the channels and tried to find one that either had just started or was about to start. "The only other movie that we haven't missed much of is _Finding Nemo_. It starts in five minutes."

"Perfect," Kristin replied.

Nathan gave a slight laugh. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. It's an adorable movie, and I haven't seen it since Cynthia was a little girl. Besides, I could go for something cute and happy; couldn't you?"

"Definitely," he agreed.

"Come on then; your food's getting cold."

The two sat at the dining table and ate, chatting quietly, while they watched the movie. However, Nathan couldn't help notice Kristin didn't eat as much as he'd hoped.

Kristin had ordered some sort of Polynesian chicken sandwich while he had ordered mahi-mahi. Kristin had only eaten half her sandwich and not much else. She finally pushed her plate away. "Oh, I'm stuffed."

"You didn't eat very much," he noted.

"I know; I'm sorry. You can finish it if you'd like. My eyes were bigger than my stomach, I suppose." She stood, walked toward the bed, and sat on the end of it.

"Are you feeling all right?" Nathan asked after a moment.

"Yes, I'm fine. Just a little tired, but nothing to worry about."

Nathan nodded. He wasn't sure if he believed her, though. He knew she didn't like him to worry; he'd seen that over the course of the past week. So, he also knew she might stretch the truth just a tad. He finished his meal and part of Kristin's. He then sat next to her on the bed, putting his arm around her.

She snuggled into him. "This is nice," she commented. "Thank you."

"You want to lie down?" he asked.

She nodded, and so they adjusted their positions. Nathan sat with his back against the wall, his legs in front of him while Kristin laid her head on his chest, her legs curled beneath her.

By the time Marlin had found Nemo, however, he knew Kristin was asleep. He could hear her quiet, rhythmic breathing. He tightened his hold on her. He hoped that what Kristin had told him was just some sort of residual fear left over from the 1941 experience. He couldn't help but notice, however, that Kristin still wasn't herself. He kissed her forehead gently and hoped that whatever was bothering her would go away. He missed her.


	35. And You Wouldn't Even Flinch

Nathan tried to find something else to watch once the movie had ended. He picked up the remote and flipped through the channels. He had a hard time focusing, however. He wanted to be there with Kristin; that was a given. The two of them had been nearly inseparable for the past several days, and he didn't intend on changing that much. The experience in 1941 had forced the two of them to become closer. It was no secret it probably would have happened eventually, however, giant whirlpool vortex or none. He finally found a documentary to watch, but his mind wandered.

He glanced over at Kristin, who was still sound asleep next to him. He couldn't stop thinking about what she'd said to him. He started to wonder if she was right about Sylvia's murder. Had they not solved it after all? Was there more work to do?

He honestly didn't know. If they hadn't solved it, why were they sent back to their own time? He didn't understand, especially since, despite a few minor setbacks, he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. He didn't have a sinking feeling that things weren't as they should be. Things were normal. Well, as normal as coming back from time travel could be, that is. But considering all the other strange experiences they'd been privy to, this was nothing out of the ordinary.

He turned the vid-screen off, deciding he couldn't focus on it anyway. He turned his attention back to Kristin again and brushed a lock of hair back that had fallen out of place. Again he couldn't help but notice the physical changes in her, and they concerned him greatly. She'd lost weight, and she didn't have that healthy glow about her. She was pale with dark circles under her eyes, making her look as though she hadn't slept in weeks. Nathan knew that wasn't the case at all; he knew she was at least sleeping; perhaps not as well as before, but he didn't think that was enough to make her look like death warmed over.

He sighed sadly and thought back to the experience on the _George_. No, it wasn't exactly the same as this, but it was the closest thing he had to compare. Kristin had been the most affected out of all of them, for obvious reasons. She'd been possessed; either that or the nitrogen narcosis made her _believe_ she was possessed. Whatever it was, the fact of the matter remained that something strange had happened. He remembered in the weeks after that, Kristin's demeanor had changed slightly. They were only subtle differences, yes, and perhaps it might not have been noticeable to the other members of the crew. But he had noticed.

She'd been quiet, reserved. She'd kept to herself. When he'd ask if everything was all right, she'd nod and give him a smile that would fade too quickly. She wasn't quite herself then, but that didn't last long, at least not that she'd show anyone else. Nathan remembered that a week or so later, she then seemed fine. Things had gotten back to normal. He couldn't remember any physical changes then, but that didn't mean they weren't there.

Still, after everything that Kristin had told him, Nathan now knew the situation with Sylvia wouldn't be so cut and dry. That meant he couldn't relax, no matter how desperately he wanted to do so. He decided he needed to speak to someone who knew more about the situation than he did: Joshua. He carefully shifted his weight and moved off the bed so as not to wake Kristin. He wrote her a note in case she woke up before he got back and placed it on the table next to her bed. Then he left the room and quietly closed the door behind him.

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"…and she keeps insisting something isn't right here." Nathan had been pouring his heart out to Joshua for at least twenty minutes, barely pausing for breath. "And if you've noticed, she certainly doesn't _look_ like herself either," he pointed out. "She looks as though she's hardly slept in days; she's lost weight, and she barely eats now as it is."

Joshua had been quiet, listening intently to all of Nathan's concerns. "You have every right to be worried."

"So I'm _not_ just being paranoid about everything?"

Joshua laughed slightly. "No; I think your concerns are warranted, though her accident on the bridge could be the cause of some of the physical changes."

"I understand that, but that doesn't really explain everything else. This never happened with Lillian, but with Sylvia, she insists there's more to be done."

"Well, Lillian's situation was a little different. First, Lillian was a spirit with no real connection to Kristin; she wasn't her past life."

"But Sylvia is a spirit, too," Nathan reminded.

"Yes, that she is, but she also has a deeper connection with Kristin than Lillian did. Also, Lillian seemed to know exactly what her problem was; she just couldn't resolve it enough to actually cross over. Unless…"

"What?"

"We all know why Lillian stayed behind on the _George_ , right?" Joshua pressed.

"Unfinished business," Nathan replied.

"Exactly. We all know Lillian's soul was trapped on the _George_ because of the guilt she felt over Robert's death and because Captain Wideman kept her there. We had to _help_ her cross over."

"You think that's what we need to do with Sylvia?"

"Perhaps. I mean, there seems to be something keeping Sylvia behind. She's obviously not at rest, and we don't know for sure if anything we did in 1941 resolved anything for her." He paused for a moment and then asked, "Does Kristin still hear her voice?"

Nathan shook his head. "I don't think so, though she hasn't mentioned. I know I can't hear Jack anymore."

"We'll need to ask her."

"So you do think she's right then?"

"Maybe; this is certainly a unique case, something I've never seen in my research. But that doesn't mean it hasn't happened before. And when you think about it, we didn't solve her murder."

"But we did," Nathan insisted.

"Knowing who the murderers are and solving it are two different things. Remember the research you had Lucas do on the Mayfields?"

Nathan nodded. "But I don't-"

"Her murder wasn't even investigated until we found her body; before that, it was assumed she perished in the Pearl Harbor bombing. Just telling the detectives who killed her isn't going to mean anything to them. They're going to want proof."

"And we have to produce it," Nathan stated.

"Exactly…and if we solve her murder, Kristin will have closure on the situation, even if she doesn't hear from Sylvia again," Joshua replied.

"Sylvia did tell us there is proof," Nathan said after a moment of silence.

"She did?"

Nathan nodded. "But I'm not sure finding it is going to be very easy. Apparently, Admiral Beatty wrote a confession, and it happens to be in his desk in a drawer with a false bottom. The problem is that desk is most likely not in use now."

"How do you know this?" Joshua asked.

"Sylvia told Kristin this last night before we got back."

"Well, then that's it. That's what we need to do."

"But I don't think Kristin is in any condition to-"

"I think this will be good for her. Of course, we won't do it today, but I think it would be a good idea to round up the crew and sit down, have a meeting about this…with Kristin's permission of course."

"I can't see her protesting," Nathan said. "She wants to figure this out, and now, so do I. I just want things to go back to normal; I want her back to normal."

"Would you like me to talk to her?"

"I think I'm a little too close to the situation to be objective now," he admitted.

Joshua nodded. "Don't worry; I'll be tactful. I'd like to give her another exam anyway, so it won't look like I'm just showing up out of the blue." He looked at the clock. "I'll stop by the room in the next hour or so?"

"I think she'll be awake by then," Nathan replied. "In the meantime, I'm going to go find Lucas. I think he can help me figure out where the admiral's desk might be. Did you want to come walk with me?"

Joshua shrugged. "Sure; why not? Lead the way."

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The slamming of the door caused Kristin to stir. She sat up in bed and looked around the room, noticing that Nathan was nowhere to be seen. "Nathan?" she called sleepily. "Is that you?"

She then noticed the note on the bedside table. She picked it up and read it.

But more movement in the next room could be heard. "Lucas?" she called. Her heart sank slightly, however, when she received no answer. She suddenly worried she was having another strange dream…or another encounter with her friend, Frank Knox.

However, curiosity got the better of her, so she pushed herself off the bed and walked towards the adjoining door. She stood in the doorway and looked around, only she saw no one. "Lucas?" she said again.

"It's me," Lucas confirmed quietly. "Sorry, I didn't realize anyone was here."

"Oh, there's no reason to apologize," she told him. Wherever he was, she still couldn't see him, however. "I was just resting my eyes," she lied, not wanting him to feel guilty. "Mind if I come in?"

He couldn't mask the hesitation in his voice. "I…I was hoping the captain would be here."

"He went to speak with Dr. Levin, apparently," she replied. "He shouldn't be much longer. Nothing you want to talk to me about?" she asked.

"I'd really rather wait for him, if you don't mind."

"Of course," she replied. "But if you change your mind, I'll be right here." She turned to walk away, but Lucas stopped her.

"Wait. I didn't mean…" He sighed. "I know you're just trying to help, and I appreciate that. Maybe… I could use someone to talk to," he admitted. "That is, if you want to…please?"

His voice sounded so small, it nearly broke Kristin's heart. She stepped into the room. "Oh, Lucas, you know you don't have to ask. I know I wasn't very available to you over the past week, but-" She stopped mid-sentence since she still didn't see him. "Lucas, dear, where _are_ you?"

"I'm out here."

Kristin turned in the direction of his voice, and there he was on the balcony. He was sitting on the floor of the balcony, his back turned to her. She approached him carefully, sitting down next to him. "I take it something bad happened in town?" she guessed.

He shrugged. "The admiral approached me. You know he had to call all our families and tell them we were missing." He was looking straight ahead, not making eye contact with her. "I asked him how my parents took the news. He told me that my mother didn't seem all that broken up about it."

"Oh, my," she muttered. "And your father?"

Lucas turned to face her then, tears in his eyes. "The admiral had to speak with Terri Jordan, his secretary. Dad wouldn't even talk to him, so I'm told. It had nothing to do with the power plant, so it wasn't important enough, apparently."

Kristin put her arm around him. "Oh, Lucas, I'm sure that's not what it meant. Your father…perhaps he just had a hard time facing the admiral. And your mother…well, I don't know, but perhaps she was just in denial."

"Yeah?" Lucas said. "You want to take bets on that? I've already called them both from the admiral's office."

"Oh, dear," Kristin muttered. "And it didn't go very well either?"

"My father wouldn't even talk to me," he cried. "I heard his voice from the background asking Terri if I was all right. I said yes, but that I really wanted to speak with him. He…he couldn't even take five minutes off to talk to me face to face. My mother…she just didn't seem very sad about the situation. She claimed to be happy, but she didn't seem very enthusiastic, if you know what I mean. She seemed more worried about what she was going to wear on her date with her new boyfriend rather than caring that her son wasn't dead after all." He took a deep breath in an effort to calm himself. "I…I just don't understand how they can both claim they love me and then act so…apathetic towards me. I am just so sick of being pushed aside."

"Oh, honey," she muttered, wrapping him in a tight hug. "I…I am so sorry if I've added to any of that; the captain and I, the rest of the crew; you know we all care about you. And you…you are absolutely right. You shouldn't feel pushed aside…ever."

Lucas didn't answer. Instead, he buried his face into her shoulder and cried quietly.

Kristin could do little for him, but she did her best to try to comfort him. She rubbed his back in small circles and whispered soothing words to him.

When they heard the door open, however, they separated.

"Honey, I'm home," Nathan called cheerily, seeing them both on the balcony. As he approached, however, he noticed there was a problem.

Kristin put an arm around Lucas' shoulders again and whispered something Nathan couldn't hear.

Whatever it was, Lucas nodded to which Kristin smiled warmly. She lovingly ran a hand through his hair and kissed his cheek. "We won't be long," she promised.

She then stood and took Nathan's hand in hers. "We need to talk," she told him, pulling him gently towards her room.

Nathan obediently followed, and once they were on the other side, Kristin closed the door behind them.

"Is Lucas all right?" he asked worriedly.

She shook her head. "Lawrence Wolenczak and Cynthia Holt strike again," she said bitterly. "They barely acknowledged the fact their son could have been dead, apparently. And now that they know he's alive and well, they're not doing much to show their gratitude about it. Lucas is feeling very neglected."

Nathan sighed. "Bill mentioned."

"You mean you knew about this?" she asked in surprise.

"Bill pulled me aside and told me, yes. But Lucas seemed fine, and I thought I'd just speak to him about it later. Besides, I was a little preoccupied." He gave her a look. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," she told him.

But Nathan noticed how quickly she answered and knew it was a lie. He opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted.

"I've done my best to try to offer him some comfort, but you and I both know I'm not really in any condition to help him much, unfortunately. Besides, he doesn't need me; he needs _you_."

"What are you saying?"

"Take him out somewhere. Go spend some one on one time with him," she ordered gently. "And maybe you can talk some sense into his parents as well? If I were feeling up to it I'd give them both a piece of my mind."

Nathan sighed and placed his arms around her. "I'm sorry I wasn't here. I…I needed to talk something over with Joshua."

"About me?" she guessed, laying her head on his shoulder.

Nathan hesitated. "I…I just…" He sighed. "I'm worried about you, Kris."

She nodded. "I know; I'm not angry with you. Did he give you the answers you wanted?"

"Somewhat."

"That's good," she said, pulling away from him then. "Well, you and Lucas had better go. I thought you could take him to a movie or something. I'll bet he'd like that."

"But you-"

"Nathan, I'll be _fine_. Just because I'm dealing with some things doesn't mean we need to neglect Lucas. You did say that's why you had the room set up this way. We'll have plenty of time together later," she assured him. "I'm still feeling a little tired, so I'll just lie down."

"Well, Joshua will be stopping here later; he wants to give you an exam to make sure your bump is healing well enough, so you won't be completely alone," he reasoned.

She smiled softly. "If you'd like, I can ask him to stay until you return."

"I'd like," he said. "You don't want to be alone either, do you?"

She shrugged. "If I feel lonely, I'll give Katie's room a buzz."

"Fine; I suppose I should tell Lucas the good news."

"You should," she urged. "Go; have fun."

Nathan kissed her gently. "Get some rest, please."

"I will; I promise. Now, go."

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Kristin lay down once again, listening to Nathan talk to Lucas in hushed tones she couldn't make out. A few minutes later, she heard Lucas let out a whoop of joy, which resulted in a smile upon her face. She was quite satisfied that Lucas was happy. She did not expect what happened next, however when heard a gentle knock on the doorframe.

"Come in," she called, sitting up to see who it was.

Lucas stepped through the door and walked towards her.

She gave him a questioning look and was surprised when he wrapped his arms around her. "Lucas?"

"I just wanted to thank you, Doc…especially since I know you're going through some things yourself."

"Oh, don't you worry about that. I know you need some time alone with the captain. He can offer you some advice that I can't at the moment," she told him. "I need to get some rest anyway," she added, feigning a yawn.

"You're sure?" he asked.

"Positive."

"I love you, Doc."

"I love you too, darling. Go have fun now, okay?"

He nodded and flashed her a grin. "Maybe next time, you can go with us…when you're feeling better, that is?"

"It's a date," she promised.

And with that, Lucas turned to leave, closing the door behind him.

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Kristin genuinely tried to go back to sleep once she was alone, but failed. Focusing on Lucas had helped her forget her problems for a moment, but now that he and Nathan were gone, she found her mind wandering again. She sighed in frustration, but she decided she could easily fix it. All she needed was something to occupy her mind. Nathan had kindly left the list the list of room assignments on the table, so she picked it up and tried Katie's room first.

Unfortunately, she found that Katie wasn't in. Nor was Ben, Jonathan, or Tim. They were in Pearl Harbor on shore leave. It only stood to reason that they were out enjoying the sites, not staying cooped up in their rooms. She put the list away, not bothering to try anyone else.

She decided she'd just try to find a movie to watch instead. She picked up the remote and started flipping through channels when there was a knock at the door. She turned the vid-screen off and went to answer it, somewhat grateful for the interruption.

"Oh, glad you're awake," Joshua greeted. "Mind if I come in?"

She stepped aside to let him pass. "Not at all. So you've come to check up on me?"

"I wanted to give you a follow-up exam, yes." He motioned for her to sit. He put a hand beneath her chin and tilted her head so that he could get a good look. "The swelling's gone down, so that's a good sign. Are you in any pain?"

She shook her head. "Nothing intolerable." She then let out a sigh. "Look, Joshua, you don't need to pretend why you're here."

"I beg your pardon."

"I already know Nathan went to speak with you."

"You…you do? Look, Kristin, I-"

She waved a hand. "It's fine. I understand. He told me. We…we didn't get much of a chance to talk, but he told me you'd be coming by."

"Very well. First thing's first then. Physically, you're healing well, but I think you know that already. Unless you're having unnecessary swelling or pain, there's nothing to worry about there." He paused for a moment, looking her up and down, noting many of the other physical changes Nathan had told him about. "Look, you've had quite a traumatic experience, and I think all you need is a little rest, and you should-"

"Don't do that to me, Joshua," she snapped.

"Do what?"

"Please, don't patronize me. That is the last thing I need, and I think you know that."

He sighed. "What is it you want me to say? Nathan already expressed his worry to me. You feel there's something wrong here."

"There _is_ ," she insisted. "Look at me. I look… Well, you know how I look. I don't feel like myself. I'm just…I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep. Every time I do, I hear Sylvia's screams in my head. I see her in pain. I can't…I can't stop myself from thinking about her. Not only that, we didn't solve her murder, and-"

"I do agree with you there."

She was slightly taken aback, not expecting his reply. "You…you do?"

"I think it is possible our work isn't finished with her," he confirmed.

She relaxed a bit. "Sylvia said the admiral wrote a confession, and if we can find that, I am confident all of this will go away."

"Have you spoken to her since we've…relocated?" he asked.

She shook her head sadly.

Joshua sighed. "Well, I think you're getting ahead of yourself a bit. I think we need to take our time, take a step back. You need to get a proper night's sleep before we do anything, and I think once you do that, you'll be able to think clearly."

She shook her head. "That's easier said than done. I…I know I'm obviously not myself. I'm the first to admit that, but I don't think I'm going to get back to normal until this situation is resolved. I still feel…connected to her."

"You feel her?"

"I don't…I don't know exactly what I'm feeling. I had the strangest dream, and…" She averted her gaze. "Joshua, have you ever heard of someone being touched by a ghost in a dream?"

"What do you mean?"

"The first thing I did when I got to the room was take a bath," she explained. "Unfortunately, I fell asleep, but I had this dream." She looked at him then, holding his gaze. "I swear to you it…it was so real, though. Frank Knox…he was here. He put his hands on me; he forced me beneath the water." She shuddered. "I…I woke up then, gasping for air. It was just a dream, but then I noticed a handprint on my shoulder." She shook her head. "It wasn't there before."

"Show me," he urged.

Kristin swallowed hard and moved her shirt off her shoulder with one hand for Joshua to see. "It…it doesn't hurt, but-"

"Kristin, I don't see anything."

"What?"

"There's nothing there," he told her.

She stood and crossed to the bathroom to look in the mirror. Sure enough, the mark had disappeared. She glanced up to see Joshua standing behind her. With her voice trembling, she said, "It was there before, though. I'm not making it up."

"I do believe you thought there was something there," he told her.

"But you don't believe there was," she added.

"I didn't say that."

"You don't have to," she replied, pushing past him. "I can see it in your eyes."

"Don't make this about me. I'm not the bad guy here," he told her, walking back into the main room after her. "We can all see how badly this situation has affected you."

Kristin didn't answer him. She merely stood there, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Again, I agree with you; I think we do need to find the admiral's desk. If we find the confession, we'll be able to solve Sylvia's murder once and for all. And then all of this should go away. But first, we all need to get some rest…you, above all of us." He walked over to his back, took out a bottle of pills, and handed them to her. "This is just something to help you relax, to help you sleep."

She read the label. "Xanax?" She gave him a questioning look. "I don't think I need-"

"It's only short-term. I really think it will help you."

She shook her head. "That's really your answer? To drug me?"

"I just think you'll feel better after you get a bit of proper sleep, and then maybe you'll start thinking rationally," Joshua reasoned.

She threw the bottle of pills then, and it hit the wall, its contents spilling all over the floor. She turned back to him. "I think this conversation is over."

"Kristin, look, I-"

But she wouldn't have it. She crossed to the door and opened it, giving him an expectant look.

"Fine. If that's the way you want it," he said, picking up his bag. "I do hope you feel better," he said, leaving the room.

Kristin slammed the door behind him, but she wasn't actually angry. She was more humiliated and frustrated than anything. She sighed sadly and started cleaning up the mess she'd made.

As she was cleaning up the pills, the temptation of getting a good night's sleep got the better of her. Maybe Joshua was right. She rolled one of the pills in her hand, contemplating it. She then popped it into her mouth and swallowed, deciding it couldn't hurt.


	36. Or Feel A Thing

Kristin finished putting the rest of the pills safely back in the bottle; she then capped it and set it down on the table. She suddenly felt a slight pang of regret, unsure of how such a pill was going to make her feel. She decided, though, that it had to be better than anything she was feeling right now. And if it was going to help her sleep properly, then it was worth the risk. She decided to change into some pajamas, assuming she might sleep the rest of the day away.

She walked into the bathroom and undressed. As she did, she looked into the mirror once again and examined her shoulder, not that she expected the mark to reappear. She just didn't understand how it could be there one minute and gone the next, especially considering the way it looked…as though it had been burned into her skin. Something like that wouldn't fade so quickly, at least not that she'd ever seen in her years of medical practice.

Unless of course she imagined it. She sighed. She knew that's what Joshua thought, which is why he'd given the Xanax to her in the first place. She knew he must really be at a loss with how to help her, or he'd never have suggested something so rash otherwise. Sleep deprivation could certainly cause hallucinations, except there was one minor detail that contradicted that in her case: she _had_ been sleeping. Well, it might not have been lucrative sleep, but it was sleep nonetheless. She'd gotten less other nights when she was on call and never had had such an experience. Of course, she wasn't dealing with spirits or past lives then either.

But then she didn't recall any of this with Lillian, not that she could remember a lot with her. Lillian literally took over; it was a strange feeling, not one she could really describe in words. She really had no control over words or actions, and when it was all over, she had to rely on the others to tell her what had occurred. She still had little memory of the events on the _George_ , even after Lillian left her body. Her connection with Lillian ended the moment that Lillian crossed over. All she had left was her dress, but she never felt like there was more to be done with her. She never felt Lillian, not the way she could feel Sylvia.

Not that she didn't feel something after the experience on the _George_. She definitely did. It was more the fact she had been dealing with the possession both mentally and emotionally. For the longest time, she'd believed nothing like that could ever occur, and then some bloody spirit had to prove her wrong. In the weeks after the possession, she'd thought a lot about Lillian, wondered if she was happy, wondered if she might ever come back. She'd assumed that she was indeed happy. She'd looked happy in Robert's arms that day. After a while, she'd pushed all thoughts of Lillian aside; she'd packed her away along with that white dress, stored in the back of her closet.

She never dreamed in a million years she would go through something like this again. Well, actually, she might have welcomed another possession. That was easy. That was cut and dry. That was just a spirit using her body for a little while. While rather disturbing, she could have dealt with it again. But this thing with Sylvia…whatever it was…was entirely different. Sylvia was still with her. It wasn't over, and…

Her train of thought was pushed off its track as she suddenly felt strange…almost as though she were drunk. It dawned on her that the pill must have kicked in. Dressing in her pajamas was now a chore, and although she couldn't even make out the clock, she surmised it took much longer than it should have. Hanging onto the walls for support, she made her way back to the bed. She muttered a, "Thank the Lord," when she finally made it there without incident, laid down, and promptly fell asleep.

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"I really can't thank you enough, Captain," Lucas said with a grin as they began walking back to the hotel. They'd gone to see the new _Avenger's_ sequel at the multiplex and after that, they got a couple of hot dogs from one of the local vendors. "This was seriously one of the best days I've ever had."

Nathan put his arm around Lucas' shoulders. "It was my pleasure, kiddo. I guess this is my way for making up for the past week and half. I know I wasn't exactly there for you and-"

The younger man waved a hand. "But it's not like you could really help it. I know you weren't trying to push me aside. I…I know you and the doctor have become close, and I'm really glad to see that, actually."

"You are?" Nathan asked in surprise.

"Of course. I am seventeen. I'm not blind, you know. I can see the way you two look at each other," he said with a laugh.

"Well, I guess it's not much of a secret anymore," Nathan admitted.

"It really hasn't been for a while, though I think you were one of the last to know," the teen teased good-naturedly. He nudged the captain's arm with his elbow.

Nathan laughed at this. "Maybe so. So you're really okay if the doctor and I…if we…"

"Take things to the next level?" Lucas finished. "It's really not my business what you do." He thought for a moment. "As long as you don't neglect me like my parents, I am completely okay with that."

"I promise we won't." He paused for a moment. "About your mom and dad, Lucas, I-"

Lucas shook his head. "Don't worry about it."

"No, I _am_ worrying about it," Nathan insisted. "I haven't had a face to face conversation with your father since the beginning of the tour, and I've never had the pleasure of speaking with your mother."

"Mom's not really a hands-on kind of mom. She never was," he said quietly.

"Lucas, do you want me to talk to them?" Nathan pressed.

He thought for a few minutes. "I'm not sure it would do much good."

"Lucas, we're on shore leave in Pearl Harbor. If you want to see your father, whose power plant is only a short distance away, I'm sure we could arrange something. It can't hurt to try."

After a moment, Lucas nodded. "Yeah, okay, I would like to spend some time with him. I tried to tell him that, but it kind of went in one ear and out the other. I…I know he's busy, but can't he spare a few hours for lunch or something?"

"I'm sure he could," Nathan agreed. "I'll give him a call."

The teen smiled. "Thanks. Uh, don't worry about talking to my mom. She's not… It's no big deal."

"If that's how you feel."

"It is," Lucas said with a nod.

"Okay. Well, now that that's out of the way, I was wondering if you might want a little project while we're here."

"What kind of project?"

"Well, for you, I doubt it'll feel like work, but I want you to search the Internex and see if you can't find what might have happened to Admiral Frank Beatty's desk."

Lucas gave him a questioning look. "Why?"

"It's kind of a long story, and I promise you'll be let in on the _why_ very soon. But do you think you could take a look in your spare time?"

"Yeah, sure; it'll be a piece of cake."

"I hope you're right."

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They spent the rest of the time chatting about anything and everything until they reached the hotel lobby. Once inside, they ran into Ben, Tim, and Miguel. They were dressed in swimming trunks and carrying towels.

"Hey, there, kid," Ben greeted. "We were all going to the beach. You want to come along?"

Lucas hesitated. "I kind of have this thing the captain wants me to work on..."

"Oh, you can always do that later…or tomorrow. There's not a huge rush on it," Nathan assured him. He nodded his head towards the others. "There are still a few hours of sunlight. Go on; have fun."

"Really?" Lucas asked hopefully.

"Really," Nathan told him.

"Just give me a few minutes to change. I'll be right back," Lucas announced; he then ran off toward the elevator.

Nathan turned to the others. "You make sure you keep an eye on him then."

Ben gave him an innocent look. "Of course; you have nothing to worry about."

"Just stay out of trouble; Lucas hasn't had the best morning, unfortunately. His parents are being their usual selves."

"We'll be sure to make sure he has a good time," Miguel promised.

"And we'll keep Ben in line, too," Tim added, giving Ben a look.

Nathan smiled. "Thanks; I appreciate that. You three haven't seen the doctor at all, have you?"

"I haven't seen her come out of her room at all today," Tim replied, "though I did _hear_ her."

"What?"

Tim sighed. "I needed more sunblock, so I went back to my room earlier, and I heard her and Dr. Levin having a bit of an argument. Then I heard the door slam and ran into Dr. Levin in the hallway, leaving the room in a bit of a huff."

"Oh, no," Nathan muttered. "Uh, thank you. I suppose I better go see what happened then. I'll see you later."

The three men bid their goodbyes as Nathan started toward the elevator.

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By the time Nathan reached the room, Lucas was already on his way out.

"See you later," Lucas said.

"Did you happen to notice if the doctor was in there?" Nathan asked him.

"Oh, sorry; I didn't even think…"

"It's fine, kiddo. Have fun."

Lucas nodded. "Later."

Nathan sighed and closed the door behind him. "Kristin?" he called as he walked over to her side. He felt a little more relieved when he saw her curled up, fast asleep on the bed. He noticed she'd fallen asleep without any blankets on, so he lovingly laid the comforter over her. As he did so, however, he happened to notice the bottle of pills on the bedside table.

Curious, he picked it up and read the label. Immediately feeling panicked, he shook her shoulder gently. "Kristin? Kristin! Wake up, please?"

"Mmm," she mumbled softly, making no attempt to open her eyes.

"Kristin? Did you take any of these pills?" he demanded. He tried not to sound so upset, but he knew his tone of voice betrayed him.

"Wha-?" she mumbled, scarcely opening one eye.

"These pills?" he asked again. He snapped his fingers, noticing Kristin wasn't really focusing on him. "Did you take any?"

She gave a slight nod. "Tired," she muttered. She closed her eyes once again.

But Nathan wasn't finished. "Did Joshua give them to you?"

 _No answer_.

He shook her shoulder again. "Kristin, please, did Joshua give them to you?"

She gave another small nod, but this time, she didn't speak.

"Damn it," Nathan swore in frustration under his breath. He put the bottle into his pocket and started off towards Joshua's room. He needed to get to the bottom of this.

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Nathan gave three loud knocks on the door and waited.

As soon as Joshua answered, Nathan held the bottle of pills out for him to see. "Really, Joshua? This was your answer?" he asked bitterly.

Joshua frowned. "Well, hello to you, too," he replied, stepping aside. "Come in, and let's talk."

Nathan walked in, but refused to sit. "I told you to talk to her, not to drug her. And Xanax? Come on. Do you really think that's wise, considering-"

"Nathan, calm down. You're acting like I just walked in there, handed her the pills, and left. That isn't what happened."

"Enlighten me then," Nathan demanded.

Joshua took a breath. "I went over there to give her an examination, but really, she knew that's not why I was really there. Her bump is fine; she's going to be fine physically. She then expressed to me her fears, her concerns, many of the same things you had already told me."

"And?" Nathan pressed.

"Did you know about the dream she had?"

"What dream?"

"She told me about this dream she had about Frank Knox…that he was in the room with her. She said she dreamt that he was trying to drown her. And when she woke up, she had a handprint on her shoulder."

"I didn't know about that," Nathan said quietly.

"Well, I asked her to show me, and it wasn't there. Look, you seem to forget I am her doctor. I know her medical file front to back. Mentally, she's one of the most stable individuals on the boat. She has no history of mental illness. However, she's obviously had a very traumatic experience. This traumatic experience is causing her not to sleep well, and in turn, she's obviously having hallucinations. It's common. The point is, save for getting her professional psychological help…and you don't want to do that, by the way, or they'll relieve her of duty…this is the next best option. It'll help her relax and get some rest, which is what she needs. I wouldn't have given it to her if I thought it would harm her in any way. It's only temporary. But you don't have to worry anyway because she already told me she won't take them. She threw me out of the room after that."

Nathan laughed slightly. "I wish I could have seen that, but you're mistaken."

"What?"

"She told me she did take one…well, hopefully, it was just one. She's kind of out of it."

Joshua smiled. "Good; I'm glad she listened to reason then. And I am sure she only took one."

"You call this…" He held out the bottle of pills. "…listening to reason?"

"Look, Nathan, I understand your concern; really, I do. I honestly felt this was the best option for the time being."

"So what do you suggest now?"

"I suggest we wait and see. She might be better in the morning. Who knows? No, all the problems aren't going to go away, but I will guarantee she'll feel a little better in the morning, at least. And I doubt she'll have any more dreams like that," he assured him. "I honestly was doing what I felt is in her best interest. You trust me?"

Nathan nodded. "Yes, I do trust you, Joshua, and I'm sorry if I implied otherwise. I was just…"

"I know," Joshua interrupted. "I understand. We'll talk tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow," Nathan promised before leaving the room.

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Once back in his room, Nathan felt a little sad, though. He'd thoroughly enjoyed his time with Lucas, and he'd known Kristin was right: Lucas needed that time. But when Ben, Tim, and Miguel offered to take him to the beach, Nathan had hoped that would mean he'd have a little alone time with Kristin. They'd barely spent much time together since their leap back into their own time, but he desperately wanted to. Even if they didn't say or do much, he wanted to be with her.

Oh, he was happy she was getting rest, and he hoped that Joshua was right: that she would be a little better in the morning. But being in that room, knowing she was on the other side and oblivious to the world around her, he couldn't help but miss her. He walked to the door dividing the two rooms and stood in the doorway to check on her.

She was exactly how he'd left her. He noticed that, indeed, her face looked peaceful, so he did feel a bit more at ease about what Joshua had done. He watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest for a few minutes, as if he needed confirmation that she was just fine. He sighed softly. "Sleep well, sweetheart. I'll see you in the morning." He then turned to leave, closing the door behind him, though he was sure to leave it open just a touch…just in case.

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Lucas returned a few hours later, surprised to find Nathan awake and alone, watching some old movie on the vid-screen. "You should have seen it!" he greeted enthusiastically. "We-" He stopped mid-sentence when Nathan put a finger to his lips.

"Shh. The doctor's sleeping."

Lucas nodded. "Sorry." He made sure his voice was lower this time.

"Don't worry. So you had a good time, I take it?"

"Oh, it was great. We had played volleyball, and then we went surfing. And we got to see Darwin. And then we went out to dinner. And…" He showed Nathan his arm, which had seven numbers written on it in black ink.

" _What_ is that?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

" _That_ is Veronica Watson's phone number," Lucas said with a grin. "We met on the beach, and she's my age. And she hopes she and I can get together while I'm in town. Do you think that'd be possible?" He gave Nathan one of his famous 'please, can I go?' looks.

Nathan sighed. "I thought you wanted to spend time with your father?"

"I do," Lucas replied, "but you and I both know how reliable he is. Even if he agrees, he won't be able to take that much time off of work. And this is a vacation, isn't it?"

Nathan couldn't argue with him there. He sighed. "Fine…we can arrange for you and this Veronica to go on a date…as long as you're responsible and stay out of trouble."

Lucas held up a hand. "I swear I'll be a perfect gentleman."

"Right…well, I just don't want a Julianna repeat, if you know what I mean."

Lucas blushed and grinned sheepishly. "Uh, yeah…don't worry. And don't worry about Veronica. She knows pretty much nothing about computers either."

Nathan laughed. "I think that's a good thing."

"Yeah, probably." He grabbed a change of clothes and started toward the bathroom. "I'm just going to go change into some PJ's, and I'll start on that little project you wanted me to work on."

A short time later, Lucas emerged from the bathroom, took out his laptop, and started tapping away on his keyboard.

Nathan tried to ignore him and focus on his movie, but when the teen uttered a, "Whoa," Nathan couldn't help but turn his attention toward him. "You want to fill me in?"

"Well, I was just doing a little research on your admiral friend first. You know he's highly decorated?"

Nathan nodded. "Yeah, I do."

"And you think he had something to do with Miss Mayfield's death?"

"Well, that's what we've been led to believe, yes. Really, all we need to know is if his desk happens to be around the base somewhere," Nathan told him.

Lucas raised an eyebrow. "Why didn't you ask Admiral Noyce?"

"Because Admiral Noyce doesn't know about what really happened over the last week and a half, and I'd like to keep it that way. And asking him where the desk might be might look a little…odd, don't you think?" Nathan stood and put a hand on his shoulder. "Besides, that's why I have you. Anyone who can hack into the World Bank undetected can certainly find a retired Navy Admiral's desk, right?"

Lucas nodded and turned his attention back to the screen. He motioned for Nathan to sit down next to him.

Nathan watched as Lucas typed and clicked, doing several searches in the Internex search bar.

After a few minutes, Lucas shook his head. "You'd think it would be right here in the Pearl Harbor Museum…but I've just looked through their archives. I don't find anything about the desk…unless we can talk to someone there and ask." He gave Nathan a hopeful look.

"That's possible, though I'm not sure they'll tell us much."

"They might… _if_ you have a certain admiral pull a few strings," Lucas hinted.

"Lucas…" Nathan warned. "I already told you, I don't-"

"I know what you told me, and on one hand, I get it. _But_ you seem to forget the admiral is your friend. Not only that, he knows about other things we've encountered over the last year…things that really have no other explanation, and he's kept all those things secret from the rest of the brass. Don't you think he'd give you the benefit of the doubt?"

Nathan sighed. "Although I hate to admit it, you're right."

"I know I am."

"And you're so modest, too," Nathan quipped. "You really think it might be in the archives of the museum?"

"I honestly don't know, but that seems the most logical place to start. Even if it isn't, it's possible it might be in the possession of his children or grandchildren. But I don't think they'd give that kind of information out to us, unless we had the backing of a certain admiral, whom they know and respect," Lucas hinted.

"All right; all right," Nathan replied. "You win. I'll speak to the admiral sometime tomorrow. You drive a hard bargain, you know that?"

Lucas smiled. "Yeah, but you love me anyway."

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**December 8, 2019**

After Lucas put his laptop away, Nathan handed over the remote to the vid-screen. It wasn't long before the teen found a _Three Stooges_ marathon, and the two stayed up late watching it. But, finally, around one in the morning, they both turned in for the night.

Sometime later, however, a strange noise caused Nathan to stir. He sat up and listened for a minute. It sounded like…struggling. "Lucas?" he whispered after a minute.

When the boy didn't answer, Nathan flicked on the lamp next to his bed. Lucas was sound asleep and didn't even notice the light. Nathan was relieved, but he heard the noise yet again. It suddenly dawned on him that it was coming from the next room. _Kristin!_

He turned off the lamp and hurried over to the other side.

"No!" Kristin mumbled, obviously still asleep, but obviously in the midst of nightmare. Her arms lay at her sides as though she couldn't move. She looked as though she was being pinned down by an invisible enemy. "No, please!"

Nathan called her name gently. "Kristin, wake up. It's just a dream."

Kristin let out a scream, not even acknowledging Nathan's presence. "Get off of me, please!" she cried louder than before.

Nathan hesitated for a moment, debating if he should touch her. He knew, though, that if he left her this way, she might very well wake the other patrons on the floor, and he didn't want to explain any of this to a hotel manager. He gently touched her shoulder and was surprised by how stiff she felt, every muscle tensed. He pulled away in surprise as she struggled, her face contorted in a pained expression.

She let out a sob. "No!"

Nathan took a deep breath and touched her shoulder again, shaking gently. "Kristin, please! You need to wake up. It's just a dream!"

But Nathan's touch only seemed to make it worse. Kristin began struggling even more, screaming and crying.

Nathan watched in terror, obviously at a loss of what to do when he heard a voice that caused him to jump.

"Is she…is she all right?" It was Lucas.

Nathan turned in his direction. "I…I don't know. I can't wake her up."

"Maybe I should get Dr. Levin?" Lucas suggested.

Nathan nodded. "Good idea; please hurry."

Less than ten minutes later, Lucas returned with Dr. Levin in tow.

"I promise I won't say anything!" Kristin cried, still sound asleep.

"I can't wake her up," Nathan told him desperately. "Do you…do you think this has anything to do with the medication?"

Joshua gave him a look. "Highly unlikely." That was a lie; Xanax could cause hallucinations. However, they all knew Kristin had been having nightmares over the past week and a half. The fact she was having one now meant nothing. However, seeing Kristin in such a bizarre-looking state had him wondering. He turned to Lucas. "Maybe if we turn on the lights?"

Lucas obediently flipped the light switch while Joshua tried to wake her the same way Nathan did. And just like the first time, it didn't work.

Kristin let out another scream in response.

"Joshua, she…she doesn't look right," Nathan said worriedly. "We have to do something."

Joshua tried to wake her again, but to no avail.

Suddenly, Kristin sat straight up and let out one last blood-curdling scream. She then burst into tears, now awake.

Nathan immediately went around to the other side of the bed and sat next to her; he wrapped his arms around her while she sobbed into his shoulder.

Several minutes later, Kristin's sobs quieted.

"Do…do you want to talk about it?" Nathan asked gently.

"It…it was just so real," she whispered, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "Frank Knox…he…he… _raped_ me. And…and…then, he forced…me into…into that chest!"

"Shh," Nathan soothed, trying to calm her. "It was just a dream. You're safe now. It was just a silly dream."

Kristin nodded and buried her face into his chest. A few minutes later, however, she pulled away and stood. "I need to go get a tissue."

Nathan cast a glance towards Joshua. "You want to explain why she keeps having these nightmares about Knox?" he whispered quietly.

Joshua shrugged. "I'm sure it's just a phase," he whispered back. "After a few days-"

But he stopped short when Kristin returned.

Nathan stood and went to her. "Are you feeling better?" he asked, concern lacing every word.

She gave a slight nod, but her face was pale and her cheeks flushed.

Nathan put a hand on her forehead. "You have a temperature," he noted. He cast a look at Joshua.

Joshua stood. "I'll go get my bag; I'll be back in a few minutes." He looked at Kristin. "You should probably lie down." With that, he left.

Kristin let out a sigh. "But I _feel_ fine," she said to Nathan.

"Doc, you…you were screaming in your sleep," Lucas said gently. "I…I don't think you're fine."

"I'm sorry if I scared you, but it was just a silly dream," she said, taking a step toward him. She faltered a bit, however. She held a hand to her forehead. "Oh," she cried softly.

"See; you are _not_ fine," Nathan insisted. He then noticed the sheen of perspiration on her forehead and the way her eyes rolled back. "Kristin?" he questioned.

She then fell back into his arms in a dead faint.


	37. You've Retreated To Your Silent Corner

Nathan stood there in shock for a moment.

"Captain?" Lucas squeaked out, sounding worried. "Is she…all right?"

Nathan immediately snapped back to reality, his old first aid training from the naval academy flooding back to him. He effortlessly lifted Kristin into his arms, looked at him, and gave a nod with his head toward the bed. "Can you move those pillows to the foot of the bed?" he asked.

Lucas obeyed, but he gave the captain a questioning look.

"It's to restore blood flow to the brain," Nathan explained. He carefully laid Kristin on her back, being sure her feet were elevated. He then sat next to her to try and wake her. "Kristin? Kristin?"

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

" _Kristin? Kristin?"_

_Kristin wasn't quite sure where she was. It looked…familiar somehow, though she was sure she'd never been there before. At least, she didn't think so. She was on a beach, the warm sunlight washing over her. The sound of the gently lapping waves was soothing to her. In fact, she felt very relaxed._

" _Kristin?"_

_She turned around then and was both relieved and surprised by who was standing there. "Sylvia? I…I never thought I'd see you again." She motioned to the beach. "Where are we exactly?"_

_Sylvia gave her a knowing smile. "You've been here before," she told her, "in your mind."_

_Kristin gave her a confused look._

_Sylvia gave her a kind smile. "When you were under hypnosis, your mind created this place. This is where you feel safe. This is where no one can hurt you. I brought you here."_

_Kristin simply nodded. "I tried talking to you earlier, but it didn't work."_

" _I know; we can't communicate like that right now, though. Things are…complicated."_

" _You're telling me," she said flatly. "I thought…I thought everything would be all right once you helped us get back to our own time…but they're not."_

_Sylvia didn't answer; she turned her eyes towards the water._

" _Sylvia?" Kristin pressed, putting a hand on her shoulder. "You have to tell me the truth."_

" _I'm sorry. I thought they would be, but…I guess I was wrong."_

" _That's all you can say? I thought you were supposed to help me?" Kristin sounded harsher than she'd meant to._

_Sylvia turned back to her then. "I know, and I will. But I need you to help me, too. You already know what you have to do."_

_Kristin shook her head. "No, I don't think I do. I-"_

_Sylvia put her hands on Kristin's shoulders. "Yes, you do. You already said it yourself; no one solved my murder. If you do that for me, I can move on. That's all I want. You promised to help me from the beginning."_

_Kristin nodded. "I did, but you failed to mention the trauma I'd have because of it. Do you know what it's done to me? I'm a shell of my former self. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm just so frightened all the time…and I've had these dreams."_

" _Dreams?" Sylvia said. "What kind of dreams?"_

" _A-about you…and about Frank Knox. Every time I close my eyes, I dream of Frank Knox, it seems. Except when I dream about him, it's like…it's like I'm reliving it as if I'm you. It's…strange."_

_Sylvia opened her mouth to speak when a familiar voice could be heard in the distance. "Sylvia, come out, come out wherever you are!"_

_Both women exchanged frightened glances upon hearing the voice of Frank Knox._

" _S-Sylvia, you said nothing could hurt me here…" Kristin said shakily._

" _The longer you keep me waiting, the harder it's going to be later!" Frank Knox shouted again._

" _Sylvia, what…what's happening?" Kristin asked, her fear elevated. "How do we-"_

_Sylvia suddenly turned to her. "You have to go."_

" _What?"_

" _You have to_ _ **go**_ _," she repeated. "Run!"_

" _But what about you? I…I'm not leaving you." Kristin protested._

_Sylvia turned her around and gave her a gentle push. "I can't risk you getting hurt, too. You're my only hope. If we both stay, we're both in danger. This way, I can still protect you._ _**Go.** _ _"_

_Kristin, however, made no attempt to leave. She turned back to her. "No, Sylvia; it doesn't have to be this way. We could-"_

" _Oh, looky, looky. What have we here? Two little kittens in my trap, hm?"_

_Both women turned to see Frank Knox looming before them, a rope in his hand._

" _Kristin,_ _ **run**_ _!" Sylvia grabbed her hand, and they both ran as fast as their legs could carry them._

_Suddenly, Kristin saw a large boulder in the distance. She pulled Sylvia and towards it, and they both ran behind it to hide and catch their breath._

" _You…could…have...told me," Kristin said between pants, "that…he'd show up."_

_Sylvia shook her head. "I…didn't know."_

" _I thought you said it was safe here."_

" _It should be…but…"_

" _Come out, come out, little kittens!" Knox called. He sounded a little too close for comfort._

_Kristin stifled a scream. "What should we do now?"_

_Before Sylvia could answer, Knox appeared from around the corner. "Now the question is: which one of you to take first? Or perhaps both at once?" He sneered at them. "Oh, the possibilities are_ _**endless** _ _."_

_Kristin and Sylvia both turned to run, but Knox caught Sylvia's wrist. Kristin stopped and looked back._

" _No, Kristin! Keep going!" Sylvia cried._

_Kristin hesitated. She'd already left Sylvia once. Could she do it again? She shook her head, answering her own question. She turned to run back._

" _Kristin, no! Get out of here!" Sylvia cried as Knox worked to bind her wrists together with the rope. He didn't seem very concerned about Kristin now._

" _But-"_

" _Just, go!" Sylvia cried as Knox ripped her skirt, just like before._

_Kristin lingered for a second longer, then turned to run, though she wasn't sure where she was running to._

_Sylvia's anguished screams echoed through her ears once again._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Kristin?" Nathan had been calling her name, but she'd been out for several minutes. Not only that, he'd noticed she felt much warmer than she'd been before. "Lucas, bring me a cool, wet washcloth, please."

Lucas, who had been looking on worriedly as the captain tried to wake the doctor, immediately obeyed and handed the captain the washcloth in less than a minute.

Nathan gently dabbed at her forehead, trying to cool her down.

A moment later, Kristin awoke, gasping for air and coughing. "Sylvia…I couldn't…save her," she mumbled.

"Shh," Nathan soothed. "It's all right. You're all right."

Her eyes fluttered open, but Nathan noticed the glazed look in them, the way she looked as though she couldn't actually see him. "Sylvia?" she moaned softly, nearly in tears.

"Captain?" Lucas said.

"She's delirious," Nathan explained softly. He continued dabbing gently at her forehead when Joshua entered the room, his medical bag in hand.

"She just had a fainting spell," Nathan informed him. "And I think her fever has spiked."

Kristin continued to moan Sylvia's name as she tossed and turned on the bed.

Joshua nodded and ran the thermometer across her forehead. He clicked his tongue as it beeped.

"What does it say?"

"One hundred and four. We need to get her fever down and fast." He turned to Nathan. "Go run a lukewarm bath." He then hoisted Kristin into his arms, carried her into the bathroom, and lowered her into the bath, pajamas and all.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

About half an hour later, Kristin's fever had fallen to a more manageable level. She was able to focus and was no longer moaning, though she wasn't saying anything much either. Nathan and Lucas looked on as Joshua spoke in soft tones to her. "Would it be all right if we let you change, and we can see about giving you an exam to see what happened?"

She gave a small nod, so Nathan went to fetch her some dry pajamas. The three men then stepped outside the bathroom, so she could change.

"You should probably give us some privacy," Joshua said to Nathan and Lucas.

Lucas nodded and started towards the other room, but Nathan hesitated.

"I'll come get you when we're finished," he assured him.

Nathan nodded and turned to follow Lucas, closing the door behind him.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Another half an hour later, Joshua knocked on the door and entered Nathan and Lucas' room.

Nathan stood expectantly, but Joshua motioned for him to sit down once again. "We need to talk. She's resting anyway."

"Okay…"

Joshua took a deep breath. "I ran an EKG; she's running a very low heart rate, yet she's still running a fever. I gave her some ibuprofen, so that should help keep it down. But…it's odd, something I can't quite understand."

"What does that mean?" Nathan asked worriedly. He lowered his voice. "Is this because of the Xanax?"

"No, it's not that. This…this is something else. First thing tomorrow morning, we can have her blood checked at the base hospital to see if she has an infection, but I'm not sure if that's the problem. She…she's acting a bit strangely, and-"

"Doesn't this remind you of Lillian a little bit?" Lucas interrupted.

Joshua nodded slowly. "That's exactly what I was thinking. Her behavior…"

"You don't think…" Nathan lowered his voice. "…that this is a possession, do you?"

Joshua shook his head. "No, I don't think so," he assured him. "Something else is going on here."

"Did you notice she said _me_ instead of _her_?" Lucas suddenly blurted out.

"What?"

"After she woke up after her nightmare…when she was crying in the captain's arms, she said, "He raped _me_ ," and then she said, "He forced _me_ into that chest." Lucas shook his head. "But it didn't happen to _her_ …not directly anyway."

Joshua thought for a moment. "I think this could be one of two things," he explained. "It could have just been a dream, completely coincidental. But, seeing as how Sylvia is her past life, I don't think it's that at all."

"So what _do_ you think it is?" Nathan asked.

"Since she and Sylvia are two embodiments of the same person, I think she's taken on some of Sylvia's memories. Past life memories are usually suppressed, but in this case, Kristin has come face to face with her past life. It is quite possible these memories are coming to light now; they're no longer suppressed, and that is causing an inner emotional conflict," he explained. "Not only that, she says she spoke to Sylvia in a dream."

"But she can't go on like this," Nathan replied. "Is…is this something that will go away on its own?"

Joshua sighed. "Not likely, but I think-"

At that moment, the door opened.

They all turned to see Kristin.

"Kristin!" Nathan said. He walked toward her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"You really should be lying down," Joshua gently told her.

"I'm fine," she said, though she didn't look it. "You…you don't need to keep whispering about me, you know."

Nathan took one of her hands in his. "We were just-" He then stopped short when he noticed her arm, since the sleeves of her pajama shirt were pushed up to her elbows. "Kristin, what happened?" he asked in shock. There, on her forearm was a large, reddish-purple mark in the shape of a handprint. He also noticed dark red patches encircling her wrist.

"I, uh…I was going to tell you about those," Joshua muttered. "I didn't have the chance."

Kristin looked down. She hadn't seen them and was unaware Joshua had. "I don't…"

"Her other arm's the same way," Lucas pointed out quietly.

Kristin looked at the handprint marks on her arms and then turned to Joshua. "They're just like the one that was on my shoulder…the one _you_ said wasn't there."

"I…I know; I was going to talk to you about them when you were feeling a bit better. I thought…I thought it'd be too much for you to handle now."

"Do they hurt?" Nathan asked worriedly.

She shook her head. "Not really. My wrists are a little tender, though."

"They look like rope burns," Nathan noted.

"I, um…I think that's what they are," Kristin stated quietly. "In the dream…he…he tied me up."

Nathan looked at Joshua. "You want to shed some light on this?"

Joshua let out a sigh. "I have a few ideas…but I'd like to consult with a friend of mine at Cologne. Besides, it's after three now; I think we all need to rest, and we can discuss it in the morning."

Nathan looked at Kristin, who gave a slight nod of approval, not in the mood to hear speculations at the moment. "Fine," he agreed, "but can I speak to you privately for just a minute?" He ushered Kristin to sit down while he and Joshua walked back to Kristin's room.

While Joshua was putting his instruments away, he asked, "So what's on your mind?"

"Is she in any danger? Those marks?" The concern in his voice as evident.

Joshua hesitated. "I'm not sure."

Nathan panicked. "And you expect me just to go sleep and not worry?"

Joshua sighed. "I know it's not exactly ideal, but I think we can fix it…just not right away."

After a beat, he asked, "How?"

"If she'll allow it, another hypnosis session."

"And what would that do?"

"It could get her to let go of these memories, which I think is what she needs. We'll talk about it a little later, though."

Joshua put the last few instruments back in his bag and zipped it. He then placed a hand on Nathan's shoulder. "I'm worried about her, too. Just keep an eye on her. Oh, and don't let her take anymore Xanax, okay?"

"So you _do_ think it's the pills?"

Joshua shook his head. "No, but in this case, I'm not actually sure they're helping after all. See you in a few hours."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

As Joshua closed the door behind him, Nathan let out a sigh. Things seemed to go from bad to worse in just a matter of a few hours; not only that, this was something that couldn't be readily fixed either. He walked back to the other room, feeling at a bit of a loss.

"Hello, again," he said when he walked into the room, trying to sound cheery. He was relieved to see Kristin was still in the chair. She was holding her knees to her chest and resting her chin on them.

"Hi," she said quietly, changing her position then. She motioned to Lucas' bed; the teen was already fast asleep. "I told him he could go back to sleep if he wanted. The poor thing was just exhausted. I…I'm sorry I woke the two of you."

Nathan waved a hand. "It was no trouble…really. I-"

"Well, I should probably let you get back to sleep, too," she told him. She stood and started walking back to her room when Nathan stopped her.

"You don't need to go. I mean…do you want to go?"

She paused for a moment, looking into his eyes. "You look tired," she noted.

"So do you."

She lowered her gaze. "Joshua told me to rest…but I'm not exactly anxious to. I'm tired, but…"

"But what?" Nathan pressed.

"I had this dream, and…" She trailed off.

"I know the dream worried you, but I'm sure Joshua can get to the bottom of this," he assured her.

"I'm not talking about that dream," she replied.

"What?"

"After I woke up, I fainted, Joshua said."

Nathan nodded. "And when you woke up, you were mumbling-"

"About Sylvia," she finished.

"You remember?"

She shook her head. "No, I can't remember. But I had a dream about her." Her eyebrows knitted together as she thought. "Or maybe it was reality. It…it seemed so real." She sighed. "I'm sure you only think it was the result of the fever…and maybe it was. But…"

"Did you tell Joshua this?"

She shook her head. "I don't even know..." Her voice trembled as she spoke. "I don't know what's happening to me, Nathan." She leaned forward and buried her face in his chest.

He wrapped his arms around her. "I know, sweetie, I know. Don't you worry; we're going to get this taken care of. Everything's going to be fine. You have to believe that."

She gave a slight nod a few minutes later.

"That's my girl," Nathan told her. "Tell you what; how about we go back to your room? We don't have to sleep if you don't want, but I don't think either of us wants to be alone. What do you say?"

"Okay," she agreed, finally looking up at him. "I'd like that."

Nathan gave her a smile and turned the lights down for Lucas. He then took her hand in his and led her through the door.

"So what would you like to do?" he asked.

Without a word, she led him toward the bed. "How about we just lie here and talk…like we used to?"

He smiled. "Okay." He lay down and allowed Kristin to snuggle in next to him.

"Nathan?" Kristin asked after a few minutes.

"Yes?"

"Promise you won't let anything happen to me if I fall asleep…please?"

"Kristin, you know that," Nathan told her.

She nodded. "I know…but every time I fall asleep…" She held up one of her arms. "…things like this happen." Her voice became strained. Nathan could tell she was about to cry. "I'm just so…"

Nathan hugged her tighter and kissed her temple lightly. "Kristin, I promise; I'll be right here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You know you can trust me."

She took a deep breath and nodded. Any tears she had were then swallowed.

"You think you can sleep now?"

She gave another nod. "I'm really tired."

"I'm right here with you; everything will be all right."

Kristin didn't answer. Instead, she placed a gentle kiss to his lips and whispered a, "Thank you." She then laid her head on his chest.

Nathan gently rubbed her back, and it wasn't long before he heard her breathing slow. He was relieved she finally was able to sleep, but he knew the rest of his night would be sleepless. He wasn't sure what was going on with Kristin, and he was afraid that if he did sleep, he wouldn't be able to keep his promise.


	38. Like You Decided

As he lay there in the dark with Kristin asleep in the comfort of his arms, Nathan's mind wandered. He realized he'd made a lot of promises that day; he'd promised Lucas he'd speak to his father about spending some much-needed time with him. He'd also promised Lucas he'd speak to Bill about what really happened in order to have access to the museum archives in hopes of finding Admiral Beatty's desk. And then, of course, he'd promised to protect Kristin.

He sighed in frustration; with only so many hours in the day, he knew some of those promises would fall by the wayside. While he was normally a man of his word, he wasn't going to break his promise to Kristin. That meant sacrifices and compromises on the other promises. He wondered if Lucas would mind if he didn't speak with Lawrence right away. He hated to ask, but under the circumstances, he'd hoped that Lucas would understand. Besides, knowing Lawrence Wolenczak, it would take several tries just to get through. Speaking with that man was always like pulling teeth.

As if Lucas had sensed Nathan was thinking about him, he appeared in the doorway. Even in the dim light, Nathan could see by the look on the younger man's face that he had something on his mind. However, he must have thought Nathan was asleep since he quickly retreated without saying a word.

Deciding he ought to go talk to him, Nathan carefully moved Kristin off of him, being sure not to wake her. Nathan placed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "I'll be right back, sweetheart. I won't be too long," he whispered.

She uttered a small, contended sigh in response.

Nathan smiled softly to himself, happy that she was finally getting the sleep she needed. He then got out of bed and padded to the other room. He stood in the doorway and looked around the room for him. He finally spied him sitting out on the balcony, working on his laptop. Nathan entered the room and crossed to the sliding glass door. He tapped on the window gently and then opened it.

"Uh, hi…did I wake you?" Lucas asked nervously.

Nathan shook his head. "No, not at all. I wasn't even asleep. Was there something you had wanted?"

Lucas blushed hotly and averted his gaze. "I was just… I wasn't trying… I want you to know I didn't see anything. I-"

"Lucas, it's all right. There was nothing inappropriate going on between the doctor and me. It's just… She was having trouble getting to sleep, and she wanted me in there with her. We're not… I want you to know there's nothing sexual going on between us."

Lucas held up his hands. "I'm not really sure that's my business."

Nathan shrugged. "Maybe not, but I think it's best you know. Besides, even if there were, we wouldn't do anything like that with you in the next room." He placed his hand on the back of the vacant chair. "Mind if I sit?"

Lucas shook his head. "It's your balcony, too."

Nathan pulled out the chair and sat. "I thought you were going back to sleep."

"I tried. I think I did sleep for a little bit…but then I just kept thinking about things. I finally gave up."

"Do you…want to talk about those things?" Nathan pressed.

"The doc… Is she going to be okay?"

Nathan sighed. "I sure hope so, kiddo."

"I've just never seen her like this before," Lucas noted. "And it's hard to watch."

Nathan nodded. "You can say that again, but we need to believe Dr. Levin will have a solution."

"And finding that desk will help, too," Lucas said, motioning to the screen of his laptop. "That's why I decided to do some more digging." He gave the captain a wink. "Um, you did say I could try and find it by any means possible, didn't you?"

"You're not doing anything illegal, are you?" Nathan asked suspiciously.

Lucas sighed. "Well, I believe your exact words were, 'Anyone who can hack into the World Bank undetected can certainly find a retired Navy admiral's desk.' I guess I thought that was a challenge. The key word here is _undetected_. No one will find out."

Nathan's interest was piqued. He stood and looked over his shoulder. "What is this?"

"The museum archives. I'm going through the system to see if they've ever had the admiral's desk. It's a little time consuming, but I've gone through about ten years of data so far," he explained. "And so far, no luck, but that doesn't mean it was never there. Of course, if you talk to the admiral like I suggested, that'll help us narrow things down even further."

"Yeah, I got the hint," Nathan replied. "I am going to speak to him. It's on my list of many things I need to do today…and I kind of wanted to talk to you about that."

Lucas turned from the screen to look at him. "So did I, actually. I, um…I know you promised me you'd speak to my father, and I really appreciate that. But right now, I don't want you to worry about it."

"Really?" Nathan asked in surprise.

"Really," Lucas said with a nod. He stood and crossed to lean on the railing. "I know that it's going to be a pain just getting him to answer. And I know you don't really have time for that…not today anyway. The doc…she's more important right now. I…I know you're worried about her, and I don't want you worrying about me on top of everything else."

"Lucas...I _am_ going to speak to your father, but you're right; I don't think I can do it today. But I don't intend to blow you off either."

"I never thought you would. It's just I'm not going to make a huge fuss about it now." He grinned and pulled up his sleeve to reveal the phone number still there. "Besides, I have Veronica to occupy me."

Nathan laughed softly and put his arm around Lucas' shoulders. " _After_ we're finished with the admiral."

Lucas frowned. "You mean I have to go with you?"

"Well, it _was_ your idea," Nathan pointed out. "Besides, if we finish early enough, then we can try to see if we can get into the museum archives…legally."

Lucas sighed. "All right…but then I can go somewhere with Veronica after that, right?"

"Of course… as long as I get to meet Veronica first."

"Come on, Cap. I am seventeen-years-old."

"Exactly why I want to meet her," Nathan told him. "I am responsible for you while you're on my watch, you know."

"I know; I know. And I understand."

"Good…I am glad we had this talk then."

"Me, too. You want to stay out here and keep me company?" Lucas asked hopefully.

"Under normal circumstances, I would, but I really should get back to the doctor in case she wakes up. I promised I'd stay in there with her."

Lucas nodded. "Maybe we can all have breakfast together, at least?"

"We'll see what we can do, kiddo." Nathan gave his shoulder a squeeze and went back inside.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan glanced at the clock as he entered the room again. It was almost five now; the room was beginning to brighten while the sun was preparing to rise. Nathan climbed back into bed next to Kristin, who was still sleeping soundly. He gently pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. She, in turn, snuggled closer to him.

"I was wondering where you'd been," she muttered sleepily, her eyes closed.

"I'm sorry," Nathan replied, suddenly feeling guilty for leaving her. "Lucas…he needed to talk and-"

She patted him gently on the chest. "It's all right. I only woke up a few minutes ago. Is everything all right now?"

"Yeah, everything's fine," he assured her. "Go back to sleep, okay? It's still early."

She nodded. "As long as you stay right here with me."

"I promise," he told her as he placed a kiss to her cheek.

"You can sleep too, you know," she said after a minute.

"Kristin, I-"

She opened her eyes then and caught his gaze. "Nathan, I know you're tired. You can't forgo sleep; you won't be any use to anyone that way."

Nathan sighed. "Fine."

She smiled softly. "Good." She laid her head back on his shoulder and closed her eyes once again. "Sleep well."

"You, too."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The smell of coffee, muffins, eggs, and sausage filled the room. Nathan breathed in the scent as he rolled over, feeling the warmth of the sunlight on his face. His arm instinctively reached out for Kristin. "Good morning," he muttered into her shoulder.

"Good morning," she muttered back. "Mmm, something smells heavenly. You didn't have to order us breakfast."

"I didn't. I thought you…"

She let out a light laugh. "I've been sleeping, silly."

They both sat up and looked around the room. There, on the other side of the room, was a room service cart with a note placed in front of it.

Nathan stood and walked over to it; he picked up the note and read it out loud. "Dear Captain and Doctor, I hope it's okay, but I went downstairs to eat breakfast with Ben, Tim, and the others. I thought you two would like to have a little alone time. I promise I'll be back soon. Love, Lucas."

Kristin walked to stand next to Nathan. "That was very sweet of him."

"Yeah, it sure was," Nathan agreed.

"Well, I have to admit, I'm famished. I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday," she stated.

"Well, how about we freshen up a bit and then have some breakfast then, okay?"

She nodded and headed towards the bathroom. "Sounds like a plan."

While Kristin was in the bathroom, Nathan set the small table in the room. He poured the coffee and put out equal amounts of food onto two plates. He then went over to his side to brush his teeth and wash his face.

When he returned to Kristin's room, however, he saw that Kristin still hadn't returned. He decided to see what was keeping her. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, watching her.

She was examining her arms. The marks were starting to fade now. She sensed Nathan's presence and turned to him.

He walked over to her and took her hand in his to look. "Do they hurt?"

She shook her head. "Not really. My wrists sting a bit, but those marks are different. The handprints have faded; those haven't."

Nathan placed a gentle kiss to each wrist. "I'm so sorry about all of this, Kris."

She gave a small nod, not really sure what else to say. She pulled her hands away. "Um, well, we probably should go eat. The food's getting cold." She started out the door into the other room.

Nathan followed her, but he couldn't help but notice how she stiffened when he touched her. "Is something wrong?" he asked.

She sat and placed her napkin on her lap. "No…of course not. I'm just hungry, I told you."

Nathan sat across from her. "Yes, you mentioned, but you certainly changed your mood fast, that's all."

"I'm sorry. I just…"

Nathan reached across the table for her hand. "What?" he pressed.

"I just didn't want the food to get cold," she finished weakly. She pulled her hand away and took a bite of her eggs. "Thank you for setting the table; this is delicious."

Nathan gave her a nod, but he knew there was something else. He decided not to push it yet, hoping she'd open up to him eventually. "You're welcome." He took a bite himself. "Yeah, it is good."

The two ate quietly for several minutes. Nathan, however, kept stealing glances at her. He was trying to decide exactly what was bothering in her, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Not only that, he couldn't help but wonder. "I'm really glad we have a little time alone together," he finally said. "I realize with all the chaos, we haven't exactly had time together except when we're sleeping. It's just nice to see you awake and alert."

She set her silverware down on her plate and gave him a look. "Well, it hasn't exactly been by choice," she said quietly.

"Oh, I know. I wasn't accusing you or anything."

She nodded, took her napkin off her lap, and set it down on the table. "I didn't think you were." She then stood and walked to look out the window.

Nathan sighed and walked to stand behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders. "I just meant this is nice, just the two of us." He placed a kiss to her cheek. "I've missed you." He then placed a kiss to the side of her neck. "So much." He trailed down to her shoulder and was about to kiss it when she pulled away.

"Nathan, please…"

"What's wrong?" he asked in confusion.

"Nothing." She turned her attention back to the window, refusing to look at him.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No."

"Kristin, please, just talk to me. I'm worried about you, and-"

"Yes, Nathan, I know. That's the problem."

"What?"

"I never intended for any of this…" she replied.

"Oh, honey, we know that. We-" Nathan crossed over to her and was about to put his arms around her when she pulled away from him again. "Kristin?"

"Nathan, please…you're not listening to me."

"I am listening. I'm just not sure what you're saying."

She took a deep breath. "About you and me…I think we should take a step back."

"What?" He took a step toward her, but she backed away.

"Nathan, please… I think what happened between us… I can't right now."

"What do you mean can't?"

"Nathan, this isn't 1941 anymore. This is 2019. You are the captain; I am your CMO. We shouldn't be together that way." She still wouldn't turn to look at him.

"Said who?"

"No one exactly. I just think…with everything going on, it just isn't a good time," she replied.

"Isn't a good time?" he repeated. "Kristin, that doesn't matter to me right now. What matters to me is that I love you, and I want to do everything I can to show you that."

"Nathan, I can't do this right now."

"Do what? I'm not asking you to do anything." He took another step towards her, and she pulled away.

"Nathan, please."

"You told me you loved me."

She finally turned to him, tears in her eyes. "Nathan, I do," she insisted. "But with everything going on…"

Nathan put her hands on his shoulders; this time she didn't pull away. "That doesn't matter. What matters is how we both feel about each other."

"Nathan, I don't even know who I am right now. I don't know if I'm coming or going. I can't… I just can't."

"Kristin, I just want to help you," Nathan said, his voice desperate.

"I know, and I appreciate that." She gently removed his hands from her shoulders. "But if you want to help me, then you need to give me my space."

"That's how you're going to show me that you love me?" he questioned, sounding hurt.

"I'm doing this because I do love you. It isn't fair of me to string you along and promise you something that I can't give you." Her voice trembled. "And I also don't want to take anything from you that…that I don't deserve right now. Maybe after this is all over, things will be different. But right now… I just can't. All I want is your friendship…nothing more."

"Kristin, please. It doesn't have to be this way. You…you're wrong."

She shook her head. "Nathan, I'm sorry. I can't do this. Excuse me." She made a bee-line for the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it behind her.

Nathan went to follow her, hoping to talk some sense into her. He heard her sobbing softly. He knocked gently on the door. "Kristin…honey…please."

"Nathan, if you love me, then please…just leave me be for now," she said through her tears.

At that moment, however, there was a knock on the outside door. At first, Nathan made no attempt to answer it. But then the knocking became more persistent so that he had no choice.

"I hope I didn't wake you," Joshua said.

"Not at all; we were just having breakfast," Nathan told him, trying to sound cheery.

Joshua looked around the room. "Where's the patient?"

"She's in the shower," he lied.

"Oh, good," Joshua replied. He moved to the door and knocked gently. "Kristin, I made you an appointment with Karen at the base hospital. I want to rule out any signs of infection before we go any further."

"Okay…" she answered. "Um, could you…could you pass my bag through the door then?"

Joshua obliged and then gave Nathan a questioning look.

"We were actually in the middle of a discussion," he explained.

"Oh, sorry; I didn't mean to interrupt anything. Are you two…okay?"

Nathan shrugged. "We're fine," he said, not in the mood to go into any further detail. "I need to get ready myself; I need to go down to the base and speak with the admiral. Um, did you speak with your friend at Cologne, by chance?"

Joshua shook his head. "Not yet; I want to see if anything comes up in the tests I ordered first. Did you want us to meet you when we're finished?"

"As long as Kristin agrees," Nathan replied. "It would help our case."

"Case?"

"Well, Lucas had this idea; he suggested we let the admiral in on what happened. If we do that, Lucas believes he'll be able to give us access to the museum archives, which will in turn help us find Admiral Beatty's desk."

"Are you sure that's such a good idea, though? There's a reason certain files have been kept confidential from the brass; you said so yourself."

Nathan let out a sigh. "I know, but I think I have to agree with Lucas." He lowered his voice. "Besides, if I don't tell him, we could very easily lose our CMO. I don't want that, you don't want that, and I know Bill himself doesn't want that. I have a feeling he won't go blabbing to the brass about this. It's just that we really need his help."

Joshua nodded. "I guess I can't argue with you there. I'll see if I can talk to her."

"But don't force her," Nathan warned. "I don't want to overwhelm her any more than she already is."

"I won't."

"Well, if you'll excuse me then. I'm sure I'll see you later at some point."

"Sure thing."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

One hour later, Nathan and Lucas found themselves in Admiral Noyce's office.

"Doctor Westphalen sure was acting strangely before we left," Lucas noted as he paced around the admiral's office. "Different than she was yesterday."

"Yeah."

"And you're acting strangely too," Lucas added. "What, did you two have a fight?"

"You sure are nosy, aren't you?" Nathan replied. "And would you sit down?"

"Yeah, well, I'm bored. And I'm full of excess energy."

"Well, you can do laps around the base as soon as we're finished," Nathan quipped. "But to answer your question, no, we did not have a fight. We had a discussion."

"Okay; okay. Fine." Lucas pulled a book off the shelf and started looking through it. "And I take it this discussion is private?"

Nathan stood and took it from him. "Bingo! And didn't I say sit down?" he asked. "And stop touching things. You're awfully hyper this morning."

"And you're awfully grumpy this morning," Lucas replied. "Besides, I'm a kid; it's my job to be hyper."

"Oh, so now it's convenient for you to be a kid when last night it was quite the opposite?" He then used his best Lucas impression to reiterate his point. "Cap, I'm seventeen-years-old."

Lucas grinned sheepishly. "Okay, fine. I get your point. I'm just anxious to finish with-"

The admiral walked in just then, interrupting Lucas' train of thought. "Nathan, I thought I made myself perfectly clear when I told you I didn't want to see you around here."

"I know, Bill, but-"

"It's not his fault exactly," Lucas chimed in. "It's because of the doctor."

"Kristin?" Bill asked, looking at Nathan. "Is she sick?"

"Well…you could say that," Nathan replied. "I wouldn't have come to you, but we truly need your help."

"I'll do anything I can; you know that. So what is wrong with her exactly?"

Nathan hesitated, exchanging a glance with Lucas. Lucas gave him an encouraging nod in return.

"First, I need to tell you something. Now, it's going to sound very strange to you at first, but I need you to promise me you won't panic."

Bill scoffed. "Nathan, I think you're being a little dramatic. What could you possibly have to say to me that would make me-"

"Just promise me…please?" Nathan said again.

Bill sighed. "Very well. I won't panic."

Nathan took a deep breath. "Okay, you know how _seaQuest_ was missing for nine days?"

"Yes…"

"And you said we were in that underwater canal?"

"Yes…"

"We weren't in that underwater trench for nine days," Lucas finished.

"What do you mean?"

"We ran into some geomagnetic activity…" Nathan replied.

"Yes, I remember that; that's why you couldn't get out of that underwater canal in the first place."

Nathan shook his head. "Yes, but the first storm had some interesting side effects…"

"What kind of side effects?" Bill asked.

Lucas thought he'd try to help. "You know that scene in _The Wizard of Oz_ when Dorothy's house gets picked up by the tornado and then she winds up in Munchkin Land?"

"I'm getting a little annoyed with these riddles. I have a submarine that I need to oversee the work on here, and-"

Nathan put up his hands. "I know it might seem like we're just playing a game, but we're really not," he assured his friend. "Just answer the question, please."

Bill sighed. "Fine. Yes, I remember that scene, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"That's kind of what happened to us," Nathan replied. "That's what Lucas is trying to say."

"What?"

"The geomagnetic storm caused a phenomenon known as a giant whirlpool vortex…and we went through it," Lucas blurted out. "We went back in time to 1941 to solve Sylvia Mayfield's murder. Sylvia Mayfield was Senator Richard Mayfield's wife; that was the woman whose body we found on the doctor's coral reef dive. Since Sylvia is the doctor's past life, she was the one who created the storm in the first place. She sent us back in time to help her. The only problem is that she didn't know exactly how things would go…and now we're back in our own time, but we still haven't completely solved Sylvia's murder. And because of all this, the doctor is having nightmares about Sylvia's murder, and she needs us to find Admiral Beatty's desk so that we can find the confession he was supposed to have written, and-" Lucas suddenly stopped when he noticed the surprised look the admiral was giving him. "I mean…um…" He looked at Nathan.

"Well, I wasn't exactly planning to put it all out on the table at once," Nathan replied, "and I know how it sounds, but it's true."

"H-how…" Bill replied in shock.

Nathan sighed. "Let me start at the beginning." He told Bill the whole story then, not leaving out a single detail. "... I know it sounds crazy…but it really is true. And unless we find Admiral Frank Beatty's desk, we have no way of proving who murdered Sylvia Mayfield."

"You have to understand I'm having a hard time believing you, Nathan," Bill said after he'd found his voice again. "How do you expect me to explain this to the brass?"

"You don't need to tell them anything," Nathan replied. "For all they know, we had a hallucination caused by the storm."

"That's what you believe?" Bill asked.

"No…but I think anyone who didn't experience it firsthand would think that."

"Just like the nitrogen narcosis on the _George_ ," Lucas added.

"Lucas," Nathan said.

"Oops," the teen muttered, forgetting the admiral didn't know everything that happened there either.

"The _George_?" Bill asked. "You mean the old sunken ship you found? Something happened there I don't know about?"

"Um, well…Kristin was possessed by a spirit who wasn't at rest," Nathan told him. "But she's perfectly fine now."

Bill rubbed his temples as if he were getting a headache. "What else don't I know about your missions?"

"You need to understand we didn't keep you in the dark on purpose exactly. For one thing, you know the science explorations are kept separate. And there are some things I don't think the rest of the world is ready to know yet," Nathan explained gently. "It was more for your protection."

Bill sighed. "Maybe you're right; some things I don't want to know."

"Maybe after the tour, you and I will have a long talk," Nathan promised.

"Just make sure I'm drunk first," Bill quipped. "So, why would I know where Admiral Beatty's desk is?"

"Well, we were hoping the museum would have had it in their possession at one time," Lucas explained.

Bill thought for a moment. "I honestly can't recall, but I know the curator quite well. I'll give him a call right away and see what I can do for you. It shouldn't take long."

Nathan smiled. This was the best news he'd heard all day. "Thank a lot, Bill."

"Anytime."


	39. The Fight Was Over For Ya

Meanwhile, Joshua had escorted Kristin to the base clinic. She had been shown to an examining room right away where her blood was drawn. After that, Joshua excused himself and said he'd be right back. That was nearly half an hour ago.

Kristin sighed as she lay back on the examining table. She could hear soft murmurs outside the door. She listened closely. She was sure one of them was Joshua, talking about her most likely. She couldn't help but feel a sudden flash of anger about that. Why did everything have to be discussed in hushed whispers? Why was she the person being kept in the dark when really, she should be the first person to know if it concerned her? She didn't like it. She also knew the moment he came back into the room, he'd have that goofy grin on his face.

It was the same grin he'd worn on the way to the clinic. She wanted to slap it off of him. She was not in the mood to be patronized. He tried asking her questions. The first were the normal how are you sort of questions, considering last night's events. Despite her mood, she'd answered to the best of her abilities. But then his questions became more invasive, and he'd asked about Nathan. As kindly as she could, she told him she didn't want to talk about it.

At least he'd had the good sense to not push it. Kristin felt she'd been extremely tolerant of this particular situation. She'd gone through over a week of hell not knowing if she was going to live or die. Amazingly, she'd gotten through it with a little help from Nathan, Sylvia, and the others. Although it was all extremely strange, it obviously was not the first time she'd been used by a supernatural entity. Even though Sylvia was her past life, that really didn't make the situation any easier to accept, especially knowing all her past lives met 'all too soon' deaths.

But Sylvia had promised her that wouldn't happen, that she was to live a long, happy life. And when they were sent back to 2019, she'd believed her. She'd believed it was over, that everything was going to be okay. But Sylvia was wrong. _Wrong._ And she still expected Kristin to be okay with it? Everyone else expected Kristin to be okay with it?

Kristin shook her head. No, she most certainly was not okay with it. Her patience was all but gone now. She didn't know if she could continue on like this. And people wondered why she was a little angry now? She let out another sigh. She felt as though no one could possibly understand it.

It had killed her to hurt Nathan, but she felt it was best under the circumstances. She knew it was painful for him to watch her go through this agony. She knew it was painful for everyone. Maybe she was supposed to die after all. Maybe Sylvia got it wrong. If that was the case, she didn't want them to see her like this. Not only that, every time Nathan touched her, she felt her skin crawl. This had been a new sensation…only since Frank Knox began making frequent visits to her. Every time Nathan leaned in to kiss her, she saw Frank Knox, felt his cold hands on her. She had to let him go.

She felt tears sting her eyes as all these thoughts played over and over again in her head. Everything was piling on top of her, burying her. This was a nightmare. She almost wished they'd never found that chest. She wished everything could go back to normal. She could barely remember what 'normal' was anymore. She didn't know who she was anymore. The real Kristin Westphalen was lost, and she didn't know if she'd ever return again. She began to sob softly.

She pushed herself up to get a tissue from the box on the table on the other side of the room when she suddenly felt lightheaded. She had to pause and grab onto the sides of the table to support herself for fear she might fall over. She shut her eyes tight and took a few deep breaths and willed the feeling to go away.

She had no idea whether or not she'd been successful because her stomach then did a flip as waves of nausea washed over her. She swallowed hard, trying to force the feeling down to no avail. She ran to the door and into the bathroom across the hall. She had barely enough time to shut the door before promptly vomiting into the toilet in violent heaves that made the muscles in her stomach ache.

After several minutes, the retching subsided. She sat on the floor, leaning up against the bathroom wall, unsure if she was going to have another episode in the next few minutes. Emotionally and physically exhausted, she was afraid to move. She then heard a gentle knock on the door. Then the door handle turned. In her haste, she'd neglected to lock it. It was Karen, the phlebotomist at the clinic.

"Kristin…are you all right?" she asked, her voice quiet and gentle.

"I…I don't know," she answered. The violent vomiting had made her voice hoarse.

Karen approached her carefully and knelt beside her. She had a wet washcloth in her hand, and she gently washed around Kristin's mouth. "There you are," she said after a minute. She then placed a hand on her forehead. "Well, you don't seem to have a temperature. I'm sorry I made you wait so long for the blood test results, but Joshua had me check for quite a few things…just to be sure."

Kristin shut her eyes and gave a slight nod.

"You're feeling nauseous again?"

"Just a little dizzy," she answered weakly.

"Can you look at me, please?"

Kristin did so while Karen shone a penlight in her eyes to check her pupils. "Why don't you just rest for a few minutes, all right? I'll be right back."

Kristin didn't offer her an answer. She simply slumped back against the wall once again, closing her eyes and wishing she was anywhere but here at this moment.

About five minutes later, Karen returned. "How are you feeling?" she asked as she sat knelt back down next to her. "Still feeling the vertigo?"

"Actually, no," Kristin replied. And it was true. As quickly as the lightheadedness had come, it had now left her. "I'm just exhausted."

Karen nodded. "Well, I know it's not the same as having a toothbrush, but I brought you some antiseptic rinse to get that taste out of your mouth. It'll make you feel better." She motioned to the ledge above the bathroom sink where she'd placed a paper cup. "You just take all the time you need, and go back to the room when you're ready. We can talk more then."

Kristin watched as she left the room. She suddenly wondered what exactly Joshua had told her, and her heart sank at the thought. It was bad enough she was the topic of interest among the senior staff. She didn't need the whole base clinic talking about her as well. She felt her anger rise again, but she chastised herself for it. Getting angry about it seemed futile. She knew Joshua wanted a second opinion about…whatever it is that was going on with her. She should have expected this.

Her hand clamped down on the metal bar on the wall as she forced herself up off the floor. Much as she wanted, she couldn't stay on the bathroom floor of the base clinic all day. She tried to avoid looking at her reflection as she picked up the cup, but she failed. She looked like death warmed over. The dark circles under her eyes seemed even darker, if that were possible. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying, a stark contrast to her pale skin. Her cheeks were sunken in slightly as well, an obvious sign of her weight loss.

She felt bitter tears threaten to fall once again. She set the cup down back on the ledge and swallowed the tears back. "That's not going to help the situation at all," she chided herself in the mirror. "And you're not doing your looks any favors either." After a few moments, she was able to choke the tears back. She picked up the cup once again and brought it to her lips. She swished the minty liquid around her mouth for a minute and spat it out into the basin. She then took a paper towel from the wall and wiped her mouth.

Karen had been right. It had made her feel a little better to get that sour taste out of her mouth. She glanced at her reflection again and decided that a little water might make her look a little more presentable. She turned on the tap and splashed some cool water on her face. It helped her feel a little more alert, that was for sure. She took another paper towel and dried her face. She opened her eyes once again and saw a dark figure behind her. _Frank Knox._

She opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came out. He raised his hand to strike her, and she instinctively backed away, covering her face with her hands. She prepared for the inevitable blow, but several minutes passed, and there was nothing. She carefully brought her hands down and risked a peek. She found the room was empty, and she was unsure of whether the reflection had been real or imagined. She took several deep breaths to calm her racing heart and then left the room, not willing to wait in there any longer to see if he'd show up again.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan was relieved when the museum curator, Charles Bauer, told Bill he knew about the desk and that they indeed had it in their archives...about fifteen years ago.

"Do you happen to know where it is now, Charles?" Bill asked his friend.

"Actually, yes, it's in Waimea right now for an exhibit there. The exhibit's running all month. I highly recommend it. It's quite fascinating."

"Do you know the curator there?"

"We have a business relationship, yes. Why?"

Bill looked at Nathan, who stepped into the view of the vid-screen. "We just really wanted to see the admiral's desk. We heard he was a great man…and we were wondering if we could get a more up close and personal view of it, if possible."

"Oh…I see. Well, I can appreciate that, but I'm afraid we can't allow that. We only allow museum employees and family members to do that. The desk itself is over one hundred years old, and we'd like to keep it around as long as possible. You understand, right?"

"Oh, of course," Nathan replied. "Understandable. I guess we'll just have to take a drive there. Thank you, Mr. Bauer."

"Anytime."

"Uh, thanks, Charles," Bill echoed. "We'll be in touch." He cut the link and turned back to Nathan, giving him a questioning look.

"I wasn't about to tell him exactly why we wanted to see the desk; I'd like to keep that little story between us."

"So how are you planning to get the letter?" Bill asked.

"Exactly as I said; we'll have to take a drive there in the next few days."

"Yeah, but you heard what the guy said," Lucas piped up. "They're not going to let us near it. I'm sure they have security cameras everywhere."

Nathan smiled. "And that's where _you_ come in. By _any means necessary,_ Lucas," he said with a wink.

"But you just said..."

Nathan waved a hand. "Forget what I said. Sometimes we need to break the rules."

Bill sighed. "Just don't get caught."

"I never get caught," Lucas said proudly. "It'll be easy. So when are we doing this?"

"That we'll have to play by ear. We have more important things to take care of first." He turned back to Bill. "I guess we'll get out of your hair now."

"You'll keep me posted on your progress, though?"

"Of course," Nathan answered. "I'll talk to you in a day or so. Thanks for everything."

Bill gave him a nod. "Good luck."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"So now what?" Lucas asked once they were outside.

"Change of plans, I suppose."

"So I do get the rest of the day off?" he asked hopefully.

Nathan hesitated. "I did say I wanted to meet this Veronica."

Lucas sighed. "But you're not going back to the hotel now, are you?"

Nathan glanced toward the clinic. "I really thought Joshua would come meet us here," he muttered.

Lucas put a hand on his shoulder. "Go see how she is."

Nathan turned to look at him. "You're trying to get rid of me, aren't you?"

"Not exactly…but I can see you're worried." He held up his hands. "I promise Veronica and I are just going to have lunch and a movie. That's it, I swear. We'll come by the room later, and you can meet her then. Sound like a deal?"

Nathan thought for a moment. "Yeah, okay, it's a deal. Have fun, kiddo."

"I will. Tell the doc I said I love her. See you later."

"Later." Nathan stood and watched him walk back towards the hotel for a few minutes. He really had no way of knowing if Kristin and Joshua were still at the clinic, but his curiosity got the better of him. He turned and started walking toward the clinic.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Joshua and Karen offered her sympathetic smiles when she reentered the examining room. She tried to ignore them.

Karen motioned toward the examination table. "Go ahead and have a seat."

Kristin gave her a nod and obliged as Karen continued.

"I've gone through your blood work, and there's good news and bad news. The good news is that you have no infection of any kind."

"So there's no medical explanation for any of this then?" she said flatly.

Karen sighed. "Actually, there is. The bad news isn't all bad, actually. It's easily fixable. The bad news is that you're low on iron. As you know, anemia is quite common, especially now with the beef ban in effect. I want you to start taking a multivitamin. That's probably part of the reason for the exhaustion you've been feeling. It could even be the reason for the lightheadedness, but there was something else your blood revealed."

"And that is?" she asked, looking at Joshua.

"You're very dehydrated and malnourished. Joshua said you haven't been eating properly. And it's obvious you're not drinking enough."

"I…"

"I'm going to put you on an IV drip to get some fluid and nutrients back into your body. You're lucky I'm not admitting you to the hospital. After that, you can leave. But you rest then. Joshua explained about your accident on the bridge a few days ago. This is probably all related." She paused for a second. "Do you have any questions?"

Kristin shook her head. "It's just been a rough few days," she said weakly.

"I can see that, but I'm sure you'll be back to normal soon. A nurse will be in shortly with the IV, all right? Take care." And with that, she left the room.

Kristin turned toward Joshua. "You mean you didn't tell her?"

"Did you expect me to? Of course not. I thought we were going to be discreet about this."

"I heard you two whispering about me," she said quietly.

"When?"

"After you left the room, and you said you'd be right back. I heard you two talking in the hall."

"Kristin, I went to see if Karen needed help in the lab. I gave her quite a tall order, and I just wanted to rule out any physical problems before we went any further. We weren't doing any sort of talking in the hallway…and I wouldn't do that. Is that what you really think I'd do? Speak about you behind your back?"

"Lately, I don't know. I guess this situation has made me a little paranoid." She looked down. "I feel like I'm losing my mind."

Joshua stood and put his hand over hers. "I promise you I'm going to do everything I can to help you."

She nodded. "Um, so where do we go from here?"

"After we're finished, we go back to the hotel, and I make a phone call or two. I have a friend, Doctor Kimberly McEnery at Cologne. She knows more about this than I do, and I have a strong feeling she'll be able to help us. Would you mind speaking with her?"

"I…suppose. What do you think she'll suggest?"

"You want to know what you're in for?"

She nodded.

"Well, I'm going to suggest another hypnosis…but I want to be sure it's the right move. I think if we can speak to Sylvia again, she might be able to help us. Not only that, at this point, I believe the past life regression will help you purge these old memories and feelings. I think what's happening is you're having a hard time distinguishing your feelings from Sylvia's now," he explained.

"But this can be fixed?"

"It can, though sometimes it can be an arduous process. That's why I want to speak with Kimberly to be sure. What do you say?"

"I say I'll do anything to feel normal again," she replied.

"Good," he said with a smile. "We will figure this out. Everything will be okay."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

One hour later, they were finally ready to leave the clinic. Kristin really didn't notice much change from the saline drip, but she made a mental note that she was going to have to force herself to eat and drink more, even if she had more episodes of nausea. Still, with everything that had happened, she did feel a little bit hopeful now because of what Joshua had told her. No, she wasn't exactly eager to go under hypnosis again, but if it was going to stop these…feelings and memories, if that's what they were, she was willing.

When she and Joshua stepped out into the waiting room, she was surprised to see Nathan sitting there.

He stood as soon as he saw them. "I came over here after I was finished with the admiral," he told them. "I asked at the desk, and they said you were still here. What did you find out?"

"I'm iron deficient and dehydrated," she replied. "Other than that, no physical reason for the other problems, though."

"She had a little episode in the bathroom," Joshua added.

Nathan looked at her.

"I got sick. I'm fine now. Just a little upset stomach."

"She had an IV drip, and she's supposed to take vitamins," Joshua said.

"And I'll just have to make a point to eat and drink properly."

"So, now we go back to the hotel and I speak to my friend from Cologne," Joshua explained. "And then we go from there. What'd you find out about the desk?"

"That it's not here. It's about twenty miles away in Waimea, though."

"Oh, that's wonderful," Kristin replied, trying to sound cheerful.

"Yes, well, I think until you're feeling better, we should forego the desk search for now. The exhibit is going on the rest of the month. It's not going anywhere," Nathan stated.

Kristin simply nodded, knowing Nathan was right.

"Great; then it's settled," Joshua replied. "Back to the hotel then?"

The three walked outside together, but Nathan stopped outside the door and turned to Joshua. "Do you think you could go on ahead? I wanted to speak with the doctor alone."

Joshua looked at Kristin, who didn't utter a protest. "Uh, sure…I'll see you both shortly then." And with that, he hurried back to the hotel.

Kristin sighed. "That was very subtle of you."

"Come on, Kris. You know we didn't get to finish our little discussion from earlier."

"There's nothing to discuss. I already explained to you how I feel…that with everything going on, I just can't be anything more to you right now. I am sorry." She turned to go on ahead, but Nathan caught her arm.

"You don't mean that."

She pulled out of his grip. "I wouldn't have said if I didn't mean it. It just isn't fair to you."

Nathan looked into her eyes for a minute, trying to determine if she was being sincere. "No," he said after a minute. "There's something else."

She looked away. "No, there's not. I… We really can't stand around all day and argue about this. We have work to do."

Nathan sighed. "So that's how it is then?"

"Nathan, please don't do this. Haven't I been through enough?" she pleaded with tears in her eyes once again. "I'm sorry. I just can't be anything you want me to be right now." And with that, she turned and started back to the hotel.

Nathan stood there for a minute, then ran ahead to catch up with her. They didn't say anything more to one another for the rest of the walk.


	40. I Won't Let You Make The Great Escape

As soon as they entered the hotel lobby, Kristin excused herself.

"I need to go freshen up after being ill," she told them.

"Oh, of course; just come to my room when you're finished," Joshua replied.

She gave a slight nod and headed toward the elevator.

Joshua turned to Nathan and noticed the way he was staring after her. "Things didn't go so well with her, did they?"

"Is it that obvious?" Nathan asked as he turned his attention back to him.

Joshua gave a shrug. "You two weren't gone that long, which is also a telltale sign."

Nathan let out a frustrated sigh as the two of them started walking. "It's just that I don't think she really wants me to leave her alone, as she puts it. I think she's hiding something. She doesn't like to appear weak."

"She needs to be pried open," Joshua said with a nod. "I've had to do that with her a few times over the tour."

"Exactly…but she'll only let a select few of us in. With me, I've always been lucky. She's never shut me out before. This is a new feeling."

"And you're not taking to it well, I see," Joshua said as they stepped into the elevator.

"I'm trying to understand. I really am. She and I…we're really not that different. I'm no stranger to running myself, you know."

Joshua gave a nod. In all the time he'd known Nathan, they'd never really had a discussion about the loss of his wife and son and how that had affected him. "I always figured that wasn't my business."

"After Bobby went missing, Carol and I moved to the island to get away from the war. I had retired for her, but I was really running away from the real world. It was nice escape…for a little while. But then Carol got sick…" His voice grew quiet. "She went so fast. I couldn't… I just shut everyone out."

There was a long moment of silence until the elevator came to a halt and the doors opened. As they stepped out, Joshua said, "And what brought you back?"

"Bill came and pulled me off my island and wouldn't leave until I agreed to come back with him to see the _seaQuest_."

"Yes, that's what brought you back _physically_. But I meant what brought you back _mentally_?" He unlocked the door to his room and he and Nathan stepped inside. "You came here to appease him, but you didn't need to stay. You could have gone back to being an exile on your island again, but you didn't. _Something_ made you stay. What was that?"

"A number of things, I suppose. First, it was pretty amazing to see my design in person and in working order. It was breathtaking, really."

"And?" Joshua pressed.

"The crew…and the fact they seemed to need me. If I had turned away, _seaQuest_ might not be here today. Every one of you welcomed me…some in some very interesting and unexpected ways." A smile came to his face. "I knew then I wanted to stay."

"And now that a year and half long tour will be ending in the next couple of months, you'd never consider going back to being alone on your island, would you?"

"Right now, no. But if something happened…" He sighed. "It's obviously no secret that Lucas and Kristin are special to me. If something happened to either of them…I'm not sure I could handle that."

"You'd want to escape again?"

"For a little while, perhaps. Old habits die hard, you know."

"That is until someone dragged you off your island again."

"What?"

Joshua sighed. "You already said that you and Kristin are alike in some ways…when it comes to the way you both deal with certain emotions, right?"

"Yes."

"Think about it. She's been through a lot of emotional turmoil, so she's pushing us away."

"I can see that, but I know she doesn't mean it. She's just scared."

"Bingo! Time to pull her off that island."

Nathan laughed slightly. "Yes, but I don't think she'll like it if I go and demand she talk to me, not the way Bill did to me. She doesn't take kindly to orders, and you know that."

"Neither do you," Joshua pointed out. "When Bill pulled you off the island, you still needed some convincing to stay. But you're right; demands and orders aren't the way to get through to her. She needs to be pried open, remember?"

"But if she won't even talk to me-"

Joshua placed a hand on his shoulder. "When you came to the _seaQuest_ for the first time, what is it that convinced you to stay?"

"I already told you."

Joshua shook his head. "I know what you told me, but I think there's something you're missing. Do you know what _I_ remember from that day? I remember the admiral talking to us all before your arrival about how the death of your wife and the disappearance of your son affected you deeply. I am not sure about the others, but I know I made a mental note not to bring it up to you at all. I didn't want to even offer my condolences…not because I intended to be rude, but because I figured it was the last thing you had wanted to hear. Not only that, I wanted to see you for the man you were, not for the losses you had suffered."

"I appreciate that," Nathan replied after a pause. "For the record, no one brought it up that day."

"Exactly my point then. I know this is a horrible situation at hand, but maybe it's possible she just doesn't want to talk about it."

"I've tried talking to her about other things," Nathan insisted.

"Lately?"

"Well, maybe not over the past couple days…"

"Change your approach a bit, and I'm sure she'll come off that island soon."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once she was alone in her room once again, Kristin felt more miserable than she had when she was at the clinic...and it wasn't due to physical illness. It was her mental state, and it was consuming her. She felt like hell, and her whole body ached because of it. In all honesty, she wanted to climb into bed and shut the world out. _Only I wouldn't be able to escape Frank Knox,_ she thought bitterly. She let out a snort. It actually didn't seem to matter whether she was asleep or awake; he'd show up either way. Suddenly feeling chills run down her spine at the thought, she turned to look behind her, half-expecting his face to appear.

It didn't, however, and she breathed a sigh of relief. Although she'd felt as though she'd been given a small reprieve, she decided she ought to do what she needed and go to Joshua's room. They were expecting her, and she just kept telling herself that Joshua's friend would be able to help her. She clung to that hope.

She walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth. She then ran a brush through her hair since it had gotten a little mussed from lying on the floor of the clinic. Deciding she looked a bit more presentable, she started towards Joshua's room, hoping that it wouldn't be as painful as she anticipated.

She knocked gently on the door, and Nathan opened it less than a minute later. Kristin tried to offer him a weak smile.

"Feeling a little better?" he asked.

She could tell he was holding back from what he really wanted to say. "A little," she replied. She looked around the room. "Where's Joshua?"

"He went down the hall to the vending machine to get us some drinks," Nathan explained. He motioned to the sofa. "Just have a seat. He won't be long."

Kristin obliged, but she felt slightly uncomfortable when Nathan sat next to her.

"Kristin, about before-"

"Nathan, please _don't_ start that again," she said quietly.

"I wasn't, but I do have something to say…if you'll listen." He gave her a pleading look.

She relented with a sigh. "Very well."

"I just wanted to tell you that whatever you want, I'll respect your wishes." He took her hand in his. "I just want you to be happy."

"Really?"

"Really," he told her. "I don't ever want to make you uncomfortable."

"I appreciate that very much." She felt as if some of the weight had been lifted off of her. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome. But I still want you to know you can still talk to me, if you need. That's what friends do."

"Yes, I know, and if I need to, I will."

He gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm glad to hear it."

There was a short pause before he spoke again.

"I, uh…I wanted to ask you…did you want me to be here for this?"

"As if wild horses could drag you away," she quipped dryly.

Nathan gave a slight laugh. "Yes, well, it doesn't matter what I want. What matters is what _you_ want. This is your business; it isn't necessarily mine."

She thought for a moment. She hadn't actually considered she had much of a say in the matter. Considering Nathan was the captain, she had automatically assumed he was going to be involved. She hadn't actually asked herself if she wanted him there.

At that moment, Joshua returned with three bottles of water and three oranges. He handed Kristin a bottle and an orange. "I thought we could all use a snack."

She gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you." She opened her bottle and took a drink; she then started peeling the orange.

The three of them ate in silence for several minutes.

Nathan then turned to her. "You never gave me an answer."

"Oh, um, I've thought about it, and it's all right if you stay. Thank you for asking," she told him, a slight blush coming to her cheeks.

He gave her a grateful smile. "Thank you for allowing it." He then glanced at Joshua, who gave him a wink, a gesture Kristin missed entirely.

The three of them finished eating and then Joshua turned to her. "Uh, so are you ready? Kimberly's supposed to be in her office all evening, but…" He looked at his watch. "…with the time difference, I don't want to keep her waiting."

"By all means, go ahead," Kristin told him.

Joshua turned to the vid-screen and started dialing the number into the keypad. A minute later, a woman's face appeared on the screen. She was around Joshua's age with coppery red hair and bright green eyes. She had a kind smile, though, Kristin noted. "Ah, Joshua, I've been waiting for your call," she said.

Kristin was taken aback since she half-expected this woman to have a German accent, considering Cologne's location. However, Kimberly was indeed American, something Kristin didn't anticipate.

"Yes, well, I won't keep you too long, considering it's late there," Joshua continued.

Kimberly waved a hand. "Ah, you know me. I'm a night owl. I was working on some research myself, and believe you me, I'm quite grateful for the interruption." She looked past Joshua to where Kristin and Nathan were sitting and then back at Joshua.

"Uh, Doctor Kimberly McEnery, this is Captain Nathan Bridger and Doctor Kristin Westphalen," Joshua replied.

"Oh, Joshua, you needn't be so formal here." She looked in Nathan and Kristin's direction. "Joshua has told me a lot about you both…good things, mind you. Late night research discussions yielded a lot of interesting stories," she said, her eyes smiling. "You can call me Kimberly or Kim, even, if you'd like. And may I call you Nathan and Kristin?"

"That would be fine," Nathan replied.

Kristin nodded silently.

"Good," Kimberly replied. "Well, Joshua has told me a little about your problem, Kristin, so I'm not completely blind here. However, to best decide what treatment is best for you, I'm going to need some more details."

"Um, I'm not sure where to begin exactly," Kristin answered.

Joshua turned back to the vid-screen. "Could I put you on hold for one second, Kim?"

"Sure. Take your time."

Joshua hit the hold button and then moved to the sofa. "I'm sorry; I suppose I should have mentioned I didn't spill the details about the time travel since we agreed that was really between us."

"What exactly _did_ you tell her?" Kristin asked.

"I told her about Sylvia, her death, and about your nightmares and how that is affecting you. She's going to want to know exactly how that's affecting you. How debilitating is it for you? Things like that," he explained.

Kristin sighed. "I just didn't realize how uncomfortable it would be to talk about it. I'm feeling a little nervous."

Joshua gave her hand a squeeze. "I think I know the gist of it. How about I do the talking then?"

"That sounds wonderful."

"Good. Just relax," Joshua told her as he turned back to the screen.

Kristin absentmindedly wrung her hands together in nervousness. She wasn't sure why she was suddenly so anxious, but she just wanted this little talk to be over and done with. Kimberly seemed kind enough, but she didn't like the thought that she might one day become a case study. The thought frightened her.

Suddenly, Nathan reached over and took one of her hand in his. Although the gesture startled her at first, she didn't pull away. She was grateful for the support. She gave him a small smile, and he returned it. She then turned her attention back to Joshua and the woman on screen as Joshua did his best to explain everything Kristin had been going through.

When he was finished, Kimberly sat back in her chair and said, "Well."

"Well, what?" Joshua asked.

"Well, that's quite a story," she continued. "I think I have a few ideas to help."

Kristin could feel Kimberly's eyes on her. She looked down, hoping she wouldn't ask her anything specific.

"Only I couldn't help but notice how quiet _you_ were, Kristin," Kimberly noted. "Do you have anything to add, dear?"

Kristin looked up at her. "Oh, no. I think Joshua's basically covered everything."

"Hmm, I see," she replied, only she didn't sound convinced. "Gentlemen, would you mind if I spoke to Kristin alone for a little while?"

"Oh, I'm not… Is that really necessary?" Kristin asked, her voice trembling slightly.

"If I'm going to make the right decision for you, yes," Kimberly replied. "If I had my way, I'd be on the next flight there. Unfortunately, I'm working on a project that requires my presence. Therefore, we must do it this way." She looked at Joshua and Nathan again. "If you could give us some time alone, please." This time, it wasn't a question, but a firm request

Joshua started toward the door, but Nathan didn't move. Instead he turned to her. "You don't have to do this, you know."

Kristin nodded. "No, certainly I don't have to do anything. But if I don't…I shudder to think what could happen. We both know several possibilities."

Nathan simply nodded.

"I…I'll be fine," she said confidently.

Nathan nodded and stood. He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze, then followed Joshua.

As the door clicked shut, Kristin felt the rush of nervousness wash over her once again.

"You can relax," Kimberly told her, noticing how the woman before her was fidgeting. "I promise this is going to be as painless as possible."

"I'm sorry," Kristin said, taking a few deep breaths. "I'm not normally… This isn't really… I haven't been myself lately."

Kimberly nodded as if she knew. "You're not the first person I've seen like this."

Kristin's eyes widened. "You mean you've met people with the same _exact_ issues?"

"No," she said with a light laugh. "But in this case, you need to remember that no two cases are exactly the same. We're not going to compare you to anyone else but you. Being a doctor of medicine, you know that while diseases may have common symptoms, every person may react differently."

Kristin nodded.

"It's the same with this. Now I want to ask you some questions, and the more you tell me, the more I'm going to be able to help you. Okay?"

"Okay…"

Kimberly took out a notebook and pen and opened it to a fresh sheet. "Now, can you tell me exactly when you started hearing Sylvia's voice?"

"A little over a week and a half ago, give or take."

Kimberly jotted something down in her book. "Okay, good." She thought for a moment. "And you want to tell me how you felt when that first happened?"

"I didn't…I wasn't sure what to think or feel. I suppose my first reaction was that I was crazy. But then I accepted it. This wasn't exactly the first time I'd encountered a spirit."

"This has happened before?"

"A few months ago, we were exploring a sunken ship that was said to be haunted. Being the scientific woman I am, I refused to believe it was an actual spirit possession like the others said it was. You see, it could have easily been the result of nitrogen narcosis. And for a long time, that's what I believed…until this. I found it easier to have a concrete explanation for it rather than no explanation at all," Kristin explained.

"You think there is no explanation for Sylvia?"

Kristin shook her head. "No, I do. I understand what she wanted from us; she wanted us to solve her murder since she can't cross over until we do. She's not at rest. That I understand. That has an explanation to me. It's just…everything else that I'm having a hard time with."

Kimberly was silent for several minutes. She looked through a few pages of notes she had written down previously when Joshua was speaking to her. Then she looked up, folding her hands in front of her. "Joshua told me your personality has changed significantly since this situation began."

Kristin gave a slight nod. "I'm not… I never… Sometimes, I have feelings I can't even explain. I'm just…overwhelmed." She felt tears sting her eyes suddenly. "If you knew me before…you'd never guess I'd…" She motioned towards herself. "I'd become this former shell of the woman I used to be."

"Ah, now we're getting somewhere."

"What?" Kristin asked as she wiped her eyes with her hands.

"I hear in your voice what's happening. I see it with patients every day. But very few realize exactly what's happening to them. I think you realize it. You just don't want to say."

"I don't… I'm not sure what you mean."

"When you first spoke to Sylvia, you didn't feel like this, did you?"

Kristin shook her head. "No, of course not. But after I began to have these experiences…"

"You changed," Kimberly finished for her. "Why?"

Kristin gave a shrug. "I suppose it's because…I've lost myself."

"Exactly." She gave a sigh. "Sylvia's intentions are good. And you can still help her. But she forgot to mention, probably because she didn't know, that you could very well lose yourself in her personality. Well, certainly, the both of you are alike in many ways, that's a given. But it's apparent she might have different personality traits than you because of her experiences. This is completely normal, and I've seen it over and over again. That is where past life regression can be valuable. Joshua told me you've been hypnotized once before?"

She nodded.

"And you wouldn't be opposed to doing it again?"

"No…but you're sure it will help me?"

"It will, but I want you to know what you're in store for. The first time, Joshua told me he did that to speak with Sylvia. You were in the background. It's not going to be that way this time around. This time, you're going to be led through Sylvia's life experience…mainly the part that's plaguing you: her last hours and her death."

Kristin let out a low gasp.

"I know the thought is frightening, but you are going to be fine. It's more… It's hard to explain really, but I've heard it described as watching a movie, only you are the star. You are going to go through the experiences, painful as they may be. But doing so will bring you closure. You're going to overcome them, and it will bring you peace."

"You're sure?" Kristin asked after a moment.

"Positive." She stared at her for a few minutes. "You seem doubtful. Is there something else we haven't covered?"

"I…" She took a deep breath. "Did Joshua tell you what the dreams are about exactly?"

Kimberly shook her head. "Just that your dreaming about Sylvia's death. Why? What's happening?"

Kristin hesitated. "I keep… In these dreams…" She sighed. "Sorry."

"Just take your time," Kimberly told her. "It's all right."

Kristin nodded and closed her eyes for a minute. She then opened them again, feeling a little calmer. "Apparently, Sylvia was raped before her death by a man named Frank Knox. She was then placed inside a chest alive…and it was thrown into the ocean." After a beat, she added, "Well, we honestly don't know exactly how she died. Sylvia can't remember that part, but that's what appears to have happened. Well, um…I keep seeing Frank Knox."

"In dreams?"

"And when I'm awake," Kristin confirmed. "I… This is something I haven't exactly shared with the others…"

"Why not?"

She shrugged. "I already feel like I'm losing my mind. I guess I didn't want anything that might confirm that."

"I see. Well, I can't say I blame you. I'm not going to force you to tell them anything you don't want to."

"I appreciate that," Kristin replied.

"I have a feeling once you start this process, these visions or whatever they are will stop, too. But it's going to be a process. One session might not be a fix. You might need two or three sessions. Maybe even more. Every person is different," Kimberly explained.

Kristin nodded. "Then I'm game for anything as long as it will help."

"Good. You're going to get through this, Kristin."

Kristin gave her a small smile. "I'm beginning to believe that now."

"And I promise I won't make you a case study."

Kristin gave a light laugh. "How did you know what I was thinking?"

"I think we doctors think alike. But I'd like you to remember if you give me permission, you might be able to help someone else."

"I'll think about it."

"Good. Maybe when all is said and done, you'll feel differently."

Kristin nodded. "Thank you for taking the time to speak with me."

"Anytime, Kristin. It was my pleasure."


	41. I'm Never Gonna Watch You

"Well, I think we have a plan then," Kimberly said after jotting down a few more notes. "Do you have any more questions for me?"

"Not really," Kristin answered. Actually, she did; the only problem was, she knew it was something Kimberly couldn't answer. It was something no one could answer. She wanted to know exactly what would happen the minute she was under hypnosis. Oh, sure Kimberly explained what others felt. But what would _she_ feel? If every person was different, did that mean she'd be an exception…that she could be in danger after all?

Kimberly stared at her for a second. "You're absolutely sure?"

Kristin nodded and faked a smile. "Positive."

"Okay. Um, I suppose you can go find the men…though they didn't tell you where they were going, did they?"

Kristin waved a hand. "Oh, don't worry about that. If I know them, they're probably waiting outside the door." She stood, crossed the room, and opened the door. Sure enough, they were there leaning up against the opposite wall, talking in hushed voices. They both stopped and looked at her expectantly. "You can come back in if you'd like; we're finished with our girl talk." She turned to walk back into the room as the two of them followed her.

She sat back down on the sofa, and Nathan took the place next to her once again. Joshua stood in front of the vid-screen, and Kimberly began to tell him what she had told Kristin.

Kristin tried to focus on the conversation, but she couldn't help her mind from wandering again. She was excited about the hypnosis for the fact it seemed to be her salvation. But she couldn't help feeling apprehensive about the whole ordeal as well. She heard the voices of the others blend together as her worries plagued her. Her main worry was obviously Frank Knox. If she had to live through whatever he did to Sylvia in order to have closure…did that mean he'd still plague her dreams? What if Kimberly was wrong? What if she couldn't get rid of him? What if…

"Is Kristin going to be all right?" she heard Nathan ask, the concern in his voice pulling her back to reality.

Nathan looked in her direction. "I don't like the thought of her having to experience what Sylvia did."

"I know it sounds worrying, but that is how past life regression works," Kimberly explained. "One must confront the past to overcome the present, and that in turn will ensure one has a healthier future without any hindering vices. I know Sylvia's past was a troubling one, but I promise Kristin won't be in any danger."

"She's right, Nathan," Joshua cut in. "And you know I'd never suggest doing this if I thought it could harm her."

After a few minutes, Nathan nodded as Joshua and Kimberly continued to speak.

Kristin felt him staring at her again, and she looked down, picking some nonexistent fuzz off of her shirt. She then felt his hand on her shoulder, and she froze.

"You're sure you want to go through with this?" he whispered, something meant for her ears only. "You don't look very comfortable about the idea."

She sighed and caught his gaze then. "I don't think we have time to think about that," she replied, her tone matching his. "I just want to do what I need to feel better again. If this is what that is, so be it."

"You don't have to do this, Kristin."

"No, Nathan, you're wrong. _I do._ "

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After Joshua had gotten all the information from Kimberly he thought he'd need, they said their goodbyes, and he cut the link. He then turned to Kristin. "So, what do you think?"

"I think…when and where?" she replied.

He gave a slight laugh. "That eager already?"

She shrugged. "In all honesty, not really. But I'd rather get it over and done with."

"Just hold on a minute," Nathan interjected. He looked at Kristin. "I think you need some breathing room, a little downtime first before we jump in."

Kristin motioned toward the vid-screen. "You heard what the doctor said. There's no way I'm going to get over any of this until I face it head-on. If that's what needs to happen, then I'm ready. I'm not about to lose my position over this."

"That won't happen."

"Oh, really?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "Did you run this by the admiral? I'm sure he's absolutely _thrilled_ with the fact the CMO on the most powerful boat in his fleet is losing her mind."

"You have no idea what happened at our meeting. You wouldn't let me tell you," Nathan countered. "And for your information, he is _very_ concerned."

She sighed and stood, walking over to the window. She looked out over the beach for a few minutes. She then spoke again, her voice sounding calmer. "Nathan, it doesn't matter what happened between you and the admiral. The point is that if this goes on much longer, you know full well what the brass could do…will probably do. I wouldn't blame them if they did."

"The process is perfectly safe," Joshua insisted. "We could start later this afternoon even…if that's what she wants."

She turned around to face him. "I want."

"Kristin, would you stop and think about this?" Nathan said.

"Think about what, Nathan? I've explained to you." She motioned to Joshua. "Joshua has explained to you. Doctor McEnery explained to you. There really isn't much to think over here. It needs to be done."

Nathan sighed, defeated. "I've heard what you've all told me, but that doesn't mean… I don't like the thought of you having to live through rape and murder. What if it isn't as safe as everyone thinks?"

Kristin couldn't help but love the fact he was voicing the same concerns she had, only she refused to say them out loud.

"Again, I assure you I'd never put her in any danger," Joshua replied. "If I thought it could traumatize her, I'd say no. But I promise, she is going to feel better after that first session." He turned back to Kristin. "I don't want to deceive you, though. It's not going to be a walk in the park either. It's going to be…emotional."

Kristin nodded. "Kimberly explained that already."

"Good." He then looked at Nathan. "It's not going to be easy to witness. You thought the last hypnosis session was difficult to handle… This is an entirely different ballgame."

"What are you saying exactly?" Nathan asked.

"I'm saying that if you don't think you can handle it…and I mean you absolutely _cannot_ do what you did last time…maybe you should sit this one out. Any interruption could ruin what we're trying to accomplish."

Nathan shared a look with Kristin. "That's up to her. I don't even know if she wants me there."

She shrugged. "I suppose that all depends. Do you think you can do what Joshua asks?"

"I…"

She noted his hesitation and sighed, turning back to look out the window again.

"Look, we're all a little emotional right now, I think," Joshua said after a minute. He looked at the clock. "It's going on one now. Why don't we all take a break, get something to eat?" He caught Kristin's gaze. "Lie down and rest if you need. What if we meet back here by three?"

"That sounds reasonable," Kristin replied.

"Fine," Joshua said, looking at Nathan. "And perhaps by then, you'll be more comfortable with the idea."

Nathan nodded quietly.

"Well, I hate to be rude, but I need to make some preparations, so if you'd be so kind." He motioned toward the door. "I'll see you later then."

"Later," Kristin said as she and Nathan filed out the door.

Once in the hallway, Nathan turned to her. "You didn't answer my question," he said quietly.

"Because you didn't answer mine," she returned. "Look, Nathan, I appreciate your concern, but I think Joshua's right. If you really can't watch me go through…whatever it is I'm going to go through…perhaps you shouldn't be there. And it's not because I don't want you there. I think under the circumstances, I'd feel better knowing I wasn't completely alone. But it really needs to be your choice."

He nodded. "Very well. I'll have to think about it."

"Well, you'd better make your decision fast; we don't have much time."

He sighed. "Do you think we could forget about that for a little while?"

"Why?"

"Because I was wondering if we could have a bite to eat where we could just talk…and I don't mean about this. I don't think you really want to talk about this anyway, do you?"

"I… Not really, no. It's just no one else has given me the chance or even asked about anything trivial lately. Is it sad that I'd kill for a conversation about the weather right now?" She shook her head. "For nearly the past two weeks, it's been nothing but this."

Nathan smiled. "I don't think that's sad at all. I'm sorry for being one of the biggest offenders."

She waved a hand. "It's not your fault exactly. You were concerned…are still concerned…and I do appreciate that."

He held up his hands. "I promise we will talk about the most ridiculous and trivial things known to man. I know you're probably hungry. That orange wasn't much."

She sighed. "I am hungry, but I don't want to go out. I'm a little tired."

"Fine…then we can order room service or something. What do you say?"

She thought for a minute. She was going to forgo eating altogether. All she really wanted to do was sleep, but Nathan's offer did seem appealing. "All right," she replied, "on _one_ condition."

"What's that?"

"We order pizza. Please? I've been dying for a slice…and we are on shore leave."

Nathan gave a laugh. "We're in Pearl Harbor and you want pizza?"

"Yes…is that so wrong?" she asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"No, it's not wrong. I just think it's funny, that's all. You sound like Lucas," he replied.

"Hmm…well, maybe that isn't such a bad thing. Speaking of Lucas, where is he?"

Nathan offered his arm to her and the two of them started walking toward the room. "Oh, well, let me catch you up to speed…"

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Forty-five minutes later, the two of them were eating, talking, and laughing. Kristin couldn't believe it. She'd forgotten what it was like to have a little fun. Nathan had been telling ridiculously lame jokes, but they were actually making her feel better.

"Have you heard the one about the newly-enlisted sailor going for his physical?" Nathan asked.

She smiled. "No, I'm afraid I haven't."

"Well, the doctor asks him why he wants to join the Navy, and the sailor answers that his father said it would be good for him. Then the doctor asks him what his father does for a living."

"I shudder to think," she quipped as she took another bite of pizza.

"The sailor says, "He's in the Army, sir."

Kristin giggled.

"That one was pretty bad, wasn't it?"

She nodded, but she was still laughing. "It was…but I think I've heard just about every bad Navy joke there is now."

"Actually, you haven't. I haven't told you any of the dirty ones." He waggled his eyebrows in amusement.

Kristin laughed again. "Perhaps we'll have to save that for next time. We don't want to waste all the fun in one day," she said as she gave his arm a gentle push.

"I'm glad I was able to cheer you up." He paused for a moment. "I wasn't sure we'd ever be able to have that again."

Her smiled faded. "Me either." She finished the few bites of pizza on her plate and then changed the subject, now wanting to talk about anything more serious right now. "Oh, I am stuffed. I don't think I could eat another bite, especially since I ate three slices."

"I think you're allowed to splurge. I'm just glad to see you eating a full meal." He closed the box of pizza and put it in the small refrigerator in the kitchenette area of the room. "Um…did you want to keep talking?"

Kristin looked at the clock. It was going on two.

"If you want to lie down, I'll wake you up in time," he assured her.

She nodded. "Um, have you made your decision?"

"About the hypnosis?" He nodded. "I'm going to be there."

She smiled. "I appreciate that. Like I said, I'll feel better knowing I'm not alone." She turned away from him then. "Uh, well, I suppose I'll see you later. Thank you for a lovely meal."

"You're quite welcome, Kristin. Thank you for talking with me." He caught her gaze and held it for a minute and then walked through the adjoining door to his side, being sure to leave it open just a crack.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The minute she hit the bed, she must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew, Nathan was gently shaking her shoulder.

"Kristin, it's time to get up," he whispered gently.

She sat up and rubbed her eyes sleepily. "I'm awake," she mumbled.

"It's quarter to three, so you have a little time. Um, I'll just let you freshen up a bit. Just come to my room when you're ready."

"Thank you," she replied as she made her way into the bathroom. A bit of cool water on her face helped her feel more awake. Another five minutes later, she had done what she needed and made her way to Nathan's side.

"…and my father is the President of the Oahu bank," she heard an unfamiliar female voice say.

Kristin stepped through the door and saw Lucas standing next to a young woman with long, blonde hair and sun-kissed skin, obviously near Lucas' age; Lucas had his arm around her shoulders.

"Oh, Doc, you're just in time," Lucas beamed. "I'd like you to meet someone." He turned to the young woman. "Veronica, this is Doctor Westphalen; Doc, this is my friend Veronica."

Kristin shook the younger woman's hand. "Hello."

"Hi," Veronica said with a smile. "Lucas has told me so much about you."

"All good, I hope," Kristin said, a smile coming to her face.

"Of course," Lucas said with a grin. "Um, well, the captain did say you two have an appointment, but I wanted her to meet you."

"And I'm glad you remembered that," Nathan said to Lucas.

He nodded. "Veronica's parents invited me for dinner. I'll be back early, though."

"Fine," Nathan replied.

"Have fun, you two," Kristin called. "And be careful."

"We will, Doc," Lucas replied as he and Veronica headed out the door.

Kristin then turned to Nathan. "That was unexpected."

"Sorry, I had forgotten I told him I wanted to meet her."

She shrugged. "No, I didn't mean it in a bad way. He seems happy; I'm glad."

"I am, too. I just hope he's not too heartbroken when we have to go back," Nathan replied with a sigh.

"I'm sure he's already told her we're only here for a little while."

Nathan nodded. "Hopefully. Um, so are you ready?"

"As I'll ever be, I suppose."

Nathan opened the door for her. "After you then."


	42. Checkin' Out Of This Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter does get a little graphic with sexual assault and violence. While it isn't anything that will go against the T-rating, reader discretion is advised. Thank you.
> 
> Hypnosis scenes will be in italics as per the usual.

"Well, get comfortable," Joshua said to Kristin, motioning toward the sofa. He looked at Nathan. "You should probably sit there." He motioned to a chair on the other side of the room.

Nathan started toward the chair when Joshua grabbed his arm. "Just remember what I said."

Nathan nodded and cast a glance toward Kristin. "You have my word."

Joshua then sat next to Kristin. "You remember from the last time?"

She nodded, put her hands in his, and closed her eyes.

"Good," he encouraged. "All right, I want you to take some deep breaths and then do the visualization like we did last time. List off your troubles in your head."

Kristin nodded and began to do so. _Number one, Frank Knox. Number two, Sylvia's rape and murder. Number three, how this affects everyone around me. Number four, knowing if this continues, my position on_ _ **seaQuest**_ _is in jeopardy._ When she literally couldn't think of any more troubles, she said, "Finished."

"Okay, now visualize that box," Joshua said.

"And fill it up," she finished.

"Exactly. Let me know when you're ready."

Kristin did so, pouring all her troubles in, sealing it up, and passing it to Joshua in her mind. "Okay."

"Good; you're feeling better?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Wonderful. Now concentrate on your breathing and relax." After several minutes, he asked, "How are you doing?"

"I'm about ready to fall asleep," she muttered.

He gave a light laugh. "That's a good thing. I want you to count backwards from twenty. By the time you get to the number one, you're going to be asleep, but you'll still be able to hear my voice. I'm going to give you prompts to help guide you where you need to be. But remember, _you_ are in control here. This is really your journey and yours alone."

"All right," she replied sleepily. "Twenty, nineteen, eighteen…"

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

" _Good evening, Sylvia."_

_The voice of Frank Knox suddenly made her realize where she was. She looked around and saw that she was standing in front of the Mayfield vacation home, Frank Knox and Admiral Beatty standing before her. She'd seen this once before. She cringed, closing her eyes tightly. "H-how did you know where to find me?" she asked, her voice trembling._

" _There are quite a few things we know about you, my dear," the secretary general said with a shrug. He circled around her. "Some of them very lovely things; others, not so much. We need to do something about that."_

_She instinctively backed away._

" _Now, now; you needn't do that."_

" _What…what is it you want?" she asked. She knew full well what they wanted, only it suddenly felt as though her words weren't her own. It was as though she was being told what to say, something she couldn't control._

" _We've already told you; we just want to talk," the admiral told her. "Isn't that right, Frank?"_

" _Of course; we just want to have a little chat and then we'll be on our way," Knox replied with a smile._

_Not enjoying the way he was staring her up and down, she moved back further until she made contact with the garage door. She looked to her left, the front door just a short distance away, but she knew it was locked. She looked to her right, where the sidewalk led to the backyard, only she knew she wouldn't be able to get back there. She was trapped._

_Knox moved in front of her, blocking her from moving in either direction, placing his hands against the garage door on either side of her. "Jack wants you to know how sorry he is he couldn't be here, but he said I should give you this." He then leaned in close in an attempt to kiss her._

_She turned her head and screamed in protest. "No! Let me go!" She punched her fists against his chest, though he didn't seem fazed._

_Knox grabbed one of her wrists with one hand and covered her mouth with the other. "No, there will be none of that now."_

_Then the cab pulled up, just as she remembered. Knox changed his position to stand next to her, but he kept a tight hold on her wrist. He ordered the admiral to send him away and whispered to her, "You keep your mouth shut, or your captain won't live to see another day. And don't think I can't do it because I can and will; do you understand?"_

_When she didn't answer quickly enough for his liking, he tightened his grip on her wrist. She gasped in pain and then nodded._

" _Good girl," he whispered in her ear._

_After the cab drove away, her heart sank, knowing that was her one chance at salvation._

_Knox then pulled her in the direction of the backyard. "Come along, darling; we'll have much-needed privacy back here." He then turned to the admiral and said, "You know what to do."_

_The admiral gave a nod as Knox led her around the corner._

" _Please, let me go," she begged._

_Knox gave her a sympathetic look. "Now, Sylvia, darling. I'd love to do that, only I can't." He ran a hand through her hair, petting her gently. He then caught her gaze and held it, only the softness in them disappeared. "It's just that we have a little problem. You know things. We know you know them, so there's no sense in denying it now. Just tell us the truth, and this will be a lot easier."_

_She wasn't sure how to reply. "I…"_

" _Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?" he asked sweetly. He then pulled her close in a violent move. "We'll force it out of you if you don't tell us right now."_

" _I…I only saw a letter. Surely, that isn't much, and-"_

" _Ah, but that one letter could be damning evidence for us. When the attack happens, we-"_

" _When? You mean you know it will happen for sure?"_

_Knox put his hand over his mouth, feigning surprise. "Oops."_

_That's when the admiral came around the corner, lugging the bulky chest with him…the chest large enough for a human body._

_Her heart sank._

" _The cat's out of the bag now, Frankie," Knox commented to his partner._

" _Oh…is it?" The admiral looked at Kristin. "My sympathies, madam."_

" _But…but…" she stammered. She shook her head. "You don't have to do this."_

" _Oh, but we do," Knox replied. "You really are adorable, trying to wrap your pretty little head around all this…only you're just a little too late. And unfortunately for you, your time is drawing to a close. We just can't have you blabbing our little secret to anyone. It's nothing personal, sweetheart. It's just that you could ruin everything." He pet her hair gently again. "You wouldn't want that on your conscience, now would you?" He held her chin with one hand and brought his face closer to hers, trying to kiss her again._

_She struggled and turned her head. His lips made contact with her cheek and he burned a trail down her neck, causing her to swallow hard._

" _But just because you have to leave us soon doesn't mean we can't share a few moments of passion," Knox said into her ear, his hot breath causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end._

_She simply shook her head, giving him a pleading look._

" _You shouldn't delay the inevitable, Sylvia. I will have my way." He turned to the admiral. "Get me the rope."_

_The admiral reached into his pocket and handed Knox the rope._

" _Well, don't just stand there, idiot," Knox said after a minute, trying to hold Kristin with one hand and the rope with the other. "Help hold her down or something."_

_Beatty knelt down before her and held her arms tightly as Knox wrapped the rope tightly around each of her wrists, the rough fiber cutting into her tender flesh with each knot he made._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Seeing Kristin go completely limp had been bad enough, though Nathan had seen that before. But now she was lying there, crying, begging, and screaming. It was almost too much. He stood and moved to stand behind Joshua.

Joshua turned around. "Don't," he warned. "She has to do this."

"Please," Kristin begged. She writhed in pain on the sofa. "Don't do this!"

"I won't," Nathan promised after a minute, his own voice shaking with emotion. For a split-second, he considered leaving if even for just a few minutes. But he remembered what she had told him, that having him there would make her feel less alone. Much as it pained him, he went to sit back down in the chair, but he silently prayed it would be over soon.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_When he felt satisfied that she couldn't break free, Knox tied the two ends of rope to a nearby tree root jutting out of the ground. He then turned to the admiral. "Go find something else to do for a little while. I'll call you when I need you."_

_Beatty didn't speak. Instead he cast one last look at Kristin, his eyes giving her an apologetic look. He then disappeared around the corner to the front yard once again._

_Once he was gone, Knox turned back to her. "Now, I suggest you don't fight me. It'll be so much better for you if you don't."_

_By this time, she was sobbing, tears streaming down her cheeks. "P-please…l-let…me go. I'll…I'll leave the…island. I promise."_

" _You're lying, and you know it," he replied bitterly. He knelt in front of her, placing his knee between her legs, forcing them apart._

_She struggled instinctively. "No! Please, don't do this!"_

_He slapped her hard across the face. "Don't fight me," he said through gritted teeth as he then placed a kiss to her reddened cheek. "Now see what you made me do?" he whispered. "I…I didn't want to do that. You don't know this, Sylvia, but I've lusted after you for so long. It's only a shame it has to happen like this." He pushed himself up and moved his hands to rest just below the hem of her skirt._

" _Please," she cried. "Go. Just go!"_

_He ignored her, pulling on her skirt with both hands as the unmistakable sound of tearing fabric followed._

_Kristin sobbed harder as he forced himself on her as she uttered one last scream of protest._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan was pacing back and forth at this point. He wished he could put an end to all this.

Joshua turned his attention away from Kristin for a moment. "You doing all right back there?"

"Do I look all right?"

Joshua sighed. "I told you it wouldn't be easy."

"This is harder on me than it is on her, you know."

Joshua nodded. "It's not easy for me either."

An anguished sob escaped Kristin's throat. "Please, stop!"

Joshua squeezed his shoulder gently. "You're doing fine; it shouldn't be too much longer."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_Kristin wasn't sure how long it lasted. Five minutes? Ten? Maybe longer, but it seemed like an eternity. She ached. He'd been rough, in a frenzy. She was sure he'd left bruises. He'd whispered in her ear, "You're the best I've ever had." It made her stomach turn, and she had to swallow back the waves of nausea that threatened to consume her. He'd finally pushed himself off of her with a groan and zipped his trousers back up._

" _Frankie!" he shouted. "It's time!"_

_A minute later, Beatty came around from the corner and opened the chest._

_Knox nodded his head towards Kristin. "Untie her from the root, but keep her wrists bound." He grabbed onto her legs tightly._

_Kristin, however, began to fight furiously. Even though she knew what had to happen, she was not about to go down without a fight. "No!" she screamed, being sure it was difficult for the secretary general to keep a tight hold on her._

_Another slap across the face followed; this time, she saw stars as the familiar metallic taste of blood filed her mouth. Her lip instantly swelled._

" _Please, miss; don't fight." The admiral's whisper surprised her. It was kind, apologetic. She looked up at him as he held her arms in his hands. "Just do what he says, please."_

" _Stop talking to her and help me!" Knox growled, moving towards the chest._

_Beatty sighed and moved in his direction._

_Kristin stopped struggling, knowing her efforts were futile, but she cried softly to herself as she was lowered inside the chest. In an instant, the lid came crashing down and she could hear a key turning inside the lock, a brutal reminder that she was trapped._

_She tried to listen, but all she could hear was muffled voices. She shifted slightly, hoping that if she moved her ear closer to the lid, she might be able to hear what they were saying. But then her arm hit something bulky. She awkwardly moved her hands to it and felt it as best she could. And then she knew: sandbags. The only way to get the chest to sink once it was thrown into the water._

_She cried softly again as she felt the chest being lifted up and carried. "Please, let me out," she whispered through her tears, knowing no one could hear her._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Please, don't do this," she pleaded. "Make this stop, please."

Nathan was still keeping his promise, but it was becoming increasingly more difficult. He had to turn away, no longer able to watch her. Listening to her was painful enough.

"Kristin, remember, you are in control," Joshua reminded her. "You can overcome this."

Soft sobbing followed.

A moment later, Nathan felt a hand on his shoulder that caused him to jump.

"Sorry," Joshua told him. "I was just seeing how you were doing."

"Better than she is," he replied. "Can't we end this?"

"She won't get better if we do. You'll feel differently when she wakes up."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_She knew they'd placed the chest in the trunk of the car, the slam of the trunk door making her jump. The drive seemed to go on forever, feeling the car go around snaking curves. It caused her to feel nauseous, her stomach doing flips._

_Finally, the car came to a halt. She heard car doors open and shut. She then heard the trunk opening once again. And she braced herself when the chest was lifted, her body moving to and fro._

_She felt a thud as the chest was set down hard on the ground…or perhaps on a dock. She didn't know for sure. She swore she heard shouting, though she couldn't exactly make out what was being said. A minute later, she felt the chest sliding as though it were being pushed. And then she knew she was falling. She let out a cry when she felt the chest make impact with the water, causing a splashing sound._

_For several minutes, it was peaceful. She could feel the chest floating on the water's surface. It felt like she was on a boat. But that peace was quickly replaced with fear as soon as she felt the rush of water enter through the seals of the chest. She was sinking._

" _Kristin, don't be afraid," she heard Joshua's voice say. "You're in control." He sounded so far away._

" _If I'm in control, how do I get out?" she cried frantically._

_She didn't hear an answer._

_Five minutes passed, and the water was already up to her neck. She moved herself up, pushing her head up against the lid of the chest as the water rose higher and higher. She only had an inch. Then half an inch. And then nothing._

_She held her breath until her lungs ached, screaming for oxygen. She finally relented, breathing in, the water causing her to choke. And finally, she felt nothing as darkness closed in around her._


	43. I'm Not Gonna Lose You

Nathan watched in horror as Kristin choked, coughed, and struggled. Although she was no longer screaming, she was still begging for mercy. "We _need_ to end this. She's in pain." He moved towards the sofa, but Joshua put a halting hand on his arm.

"You promised you wouldn't do this," Joshua replied. "She's going to be fine."

Nathan shook his head. "She certainly doesn't look fine."

"Please…help…me," Kristin choked out. Then suddenly, she went still, no longer coughing or struggling; no sound coming out of her mouth whatsoever. She looked lifeless.

Nathan exchanged a glance with Joshua. "What…what's happening?"

"It appears to be over." He took a few steps towards the sofa. "Kristin, how do you feel?" When he received no answer, he called her name a bit louder. "Kristin…talk to me, please."

Nathan, no longer willing to be an innocent bystander, pushed past Joshua and knelt down next to Kristin.

"Nathan, no," Joshua ordered. "We can't interfere."

"The hell if we can't," Nathan said. He knelt down beside her. "Kristin?" Nathan took her hand in his and noticed her hand felt ice cold. He watched her for a few moments, looking for the gentle rise and fall of her chest, only she remained completely still. He panicked. "Joshua…she…she's not breathing."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_Kristin had no idea where she was. It was so dark, but she knew she was no longer inside that dreadful chest. She felt as though she was floating…like she was light as air. She felt at peace. Suddenly, she noticed something: she felt no pain whatsoever._

_Then she saw a small sliver of light in the distance. She looked around from left to right. It looked as though she were in some sort of tunnel. She put out one of her hands to touch one of the dark 'walls', but her hand went completely through._

_Suddenly, she heard a voice. "Oh, I've been waiting for you."_

_Kristin looked down and saw a little girl with long brown hair that curled in ringlets and large, dark eyes. She was wearing a white frilly dress and a bow in her hair._

_She held out her hand. "Come on, we've_ _**all** _ _been waiting for you."_

_Kristin hesitated, looking around again. The light at the end of the tunnel seemed to grow larger, and it felt pleasantly warm._

" _You don't need to be afraid," the girl replied. "They're friendly here."_

" _But I don't-"_

" _Please?" the girl urged. "No one's going to hurt you anymore. I promise. You can't stay in here forever."_

_Kristin had little choice. She accepted the child's hand, and the two of them walked towards the light._

" _By the way," the girl said, just before they were out of the tunnel, "you can call me Alice."_

_Kristin had several questions, but as soon as they stepped into the light, all of those thoughts died as she was overcome with awe by the surroundings. They were standing in the most beautiful green field she'd ever seen. The sun was deliciously warm, and there were flowers everywhere, their light fragrance filling the air. In the distance stood a large willow tree, and underneath it, there was a small group of women, who were laughing and dancing._

" _We've all been waiting for you," Alice said again, looking up at Kristin. "We're celebrating."_

" _I'm not sure I understand," Kristin replied. "Where…where are we exactly?"_

_Alice smiled. "It doesn't look like you thought it would, does it?"_

" _This is Heaven?"_

_Alice nodded. "You could call it that." She took her hand again. "Come on."_

_Kristin didn't move. "But I… What about everyone else?"_

_Alice's brow furrowed. "Everyone else?" She then had a realization. "Oh…you mean your friends and family…back on Earth?"_

_Kristin nodded. "I need to go back."_

" _I think it's too late for that, Kristin," Alice replied with a shake of her head. She pulled on her hand. "Come on, you'll like it here."_

" _But… You know my name?"_

" _Of course I do," Alice said with a giggle. "Come on, I'll race you." She started running towards the tree and called back over her shoulder. "Come on, Kristin, follow me!"_

_Kristin stood there for a few seconds longer, looking back towards the tunnel in the distance. She then looked towards the group of women. They were beckoning her, calling her name. She took a deep breath and began running toward them._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_Kristin couldn't remember the last time she had so much fun without having to worry about much of anything. Out of breath from racing, she fell flat on her back into the warm grass, laughing softly._

_Alice's smiling face appeared above her. "See, I told you you'd like it here. You're having fun."_

" _Well, yes, but-"_

" _Let me introduce you to the others."_

_Kristin sat up and watched Alice run towards the group of women. She looked back at Kristin, waiting expectantly. Kristin then stood and walked towards them._

_A young woman, blonde hair piled in a bun atop her head with emerald green eyes, stepped forward. She smiled warmly and extended her hand in greeting. "Ah, Kristin, we've been waiting for you."_

" _See, I told you," Alice piped up._

_The woman bent down to whisper something in Alice's ear. The child nodded and ran off. The woman then turned back to Kristin. "You'll have to excuse her. She does get excited when we get visitors."_

" _Oh…I can… Did…did you say visitors? So I'm not here…for good?"_

" _There seems to be a little mix-up here," the woman replied. "Oh, by the way, I'm Amelia. No, you're just passing through, so to speak." She motioned to the two other women standing behind her. "This is Mary and Rebecca."_

" _Hello," Kristin said to them. She looked back at Amelia. "I'm sorry, but am I…am I supposed to know who you are? I always thought… Shouldn't I be surrounded by people I_ _ **know**_ _? Family and friends? This isn't what I'd imagined."_

_Amelia let out a light laugh. "You would have that if you were here to stay." She pointed towards a winding road leading to a larger field. If it were possible, it looked as though the sun shone even brighter over it. "This area is sort of the first, initial step. If you were staying, you'd move on."_

" _So all of you aren't here to stay?"_

" _Not exactly. Our case is…special. We can't move on until we're_ _ **all**_ _here," Amelia explained._

" _All here? I don't think I understand…" Kristin looked back at Amelia. "I…I'm so confused. The last thing I remember is-" She stopped short, suddenly realizing she couldn't remember what had happened right before she ended up in the tunnel. Her eyebrows knitted together in worry and her face reddened with embarrassment. "I…I don't…"_

_Amelia put an arm around her shoulders. "Oh, don't you worry about a thing, sweetheart. You're just…well, I guess this is what you'd call a near-death experience. As for all of us," she said motioning to the other women, "we're waiting for Sylvia."_

" _Sylvia? I…don't…" Kristin suddenly felt lightheaded._

" _She doesn't look as though she's handling it well," Mary pointed out as she stepped forward. She placed a hand to Kristin's forehead. "I think you'd better sit down, honey."_

_Kristin allowed Mary to lead her to a nearby boulder where she sat. She looked back at Amelia. "What…what is she talking about?"_

_Amelia sighed and spoke chidingly to Mary. "I had wanted to wait to let her get used to the idea first."_

_Mary waved a hand. "I say it's better to get it all out in the open now. It'll be better for her in the long run."_

" _She's right," Rebecca chimed in. "You know we're not going to get anywhere if we leave her in the dark." She motioned towards Kristin. "She'll get over it."_

_As the three women argued, Kristin's head continued to spin. She felt as though she was going to fall over, but she forgot about that when she heard a whisper in her ear._

" _Why don't we go for a walk?" Alice asked. She nodded her head towards her arguing friends. "They could do this for a while. I promise you'll feel better."_

_Kristin nodded and allowed Alice to lead her towards a nearby stream, away from the others._

" _Take a drink," Alice urged._

_Kristin obligingly knelt down by the water, cupped her hands together, and collected some water in them. She brought her hands to her lips and let the water fill her mouth. As she swallowed, she decided it was literally the most delicious water she'd ever drank; not only that, it immediately made her feel more alert, and her head returned to normal._

" _That's better, isn't it?" Alice asked._

_Kristin nodded as she returned to her feet. "I am forever indebted to you, but is it possible you could tell me what exactly is going on here?"_

" _Well…"_

" _I am so sorry," Amelia said, running up to the stream. "We didn't mean to make you upset. When we realized you were gone…" She looked at Alice. "That could have been very bad, and you know it."_

" _I wasn't going to let anything to happen to her. I like her, and she's my friend."_

_Amelia took Alice's hand. "We all like her, but you know she can't stay."_

_Alice put on a pout. "But she's so happy here."_

_Amelia gave Kristin an apologetic look. "Could you excuse us, just for a minute? I promise I'll explain everything as soon as I take care of her, okay?" She then led Alice several feet away and knelt down before her. Although Kristin couldn't hear what was being said, she noticed that Amelia was treating Alice as though she might be her daughter…or even a younger sibling. She was hugging her and gently stroking her hair in an effort to comfort the sobbing child._

_A few short minutes later, Amelia returned with Alice in tow. "Alice has something she'd like to say to you," she told Kristin._

_Before Kristin could reply, Alice wrapped her hands around Kristin's waist. "I…I'm going to miss you," she said with a sniffle. "But I…I know you're here to help us…and we'll meet again one day."_

_Kristin wasn't quite sure how to reply. She looked toward Amelia, who simply gave her a nod. Kristin returned the hug. "I'll miss you too, sweetheart. I…I promise I'll help you any way I can."_

" _I know you will," Alice whispered as she walked back towards Amelia. "Goodbye, Kristin."_

" _Goodbye," Kristin replied._

_Amelia knelt back down in front of Alice. "Good girl. Now go back and play with Mary and Rebecca now. Be good."_

_Alice took one last look at Kristin and did as she was told._

" _I hope you can forgive her. She's so… It hasn't been easy for her, being the youngest," Amelia said._

" _I don't think I could find it in my heart to be cross with her," Kristin replied. "Um, but if you wouldn't mind, could you please explain to me what exactly all this is?"_

" _Well, as I said, you're just passing through."_

" _Yes, I got that, but what did you mean you've all been waiting for me? And why can't you leave until we're all here? Who is 'we'?"_

_Amelia sighed and took Kristin's hand. "'We' means Sylvia's past lives. You are not included in that since you are still very much alive, so don't worry. You're not supposed to be here yet."_

" _Sylvia? You mean she isn't-"_

_Amelia shook her head. "That's where you come in. I'm sure she explained this to you…that she needs you to figure this all out so she can cross over?"_

" _Yes, but I didn't realize…"_

" _That there were others depending on you?" Amelia finished._

" _Y-yes," Kristin replied. "I just…what if I can't…"_

_Amelia shook her head. "No, you can't think like that. You'll figure it out. You always do."_

" _But…I don't even know how to get back," Kristin protested._

_Amelia gently took her shoulders and spun her around. She pointed in the distance. "You'll need to go back the way you came. Just follow the light."_

" _But I don't-"_

" _Just follow the light," she said again, giving Kristin a gentle push._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan watched on helplessly as Joshua did chest compressions and mouth to mouth in an effort to revive Kristin. Only a few minutes had passed, but it seemed like an eternity.

 _Please, just let her live. I'll do anything,_ he silently prayed.

"One, two, three," Joshua counted methodically as he did chest compressions. "Come on, Kristin. Come back to us." He then leaned over her, plugged her nose and breathed into her mouth.

As if on cue, Kristin coughed as she took in a breath of air.

"Easy, easy," Joshua said, placing a hand on her shoulder to prevent her from sitting up.

Nathan was so relieved to see her open her eyes, but he noticed she looked dazed and pale. It took everything in his power not to rush to her side and take her in his arms.

"How do you feel?" Joshua asked when she appeared to be breathing normally.

"I feel...fine," she replied quietly. "Just a little tired."

"That's good," Joshua said. "Do you remember what happened?"

She gave a slight nod. "And…I made it back."

Joshua gave her hand a squeeze. "That you did. You did wonderfully, and we're very proud of you, aren't we, Captain?"

Joshua turned to look at him expectantly, only he couldn't bring himself to act as cavalier as Joshua about all this. "I..." He sighed. "I'm sorry, but I can't act like everything's fine and dandy now." He moved to kneel next to the sofa and brought his hand to Kristin's cheek. "You're really all right?"

She gave a nod. "I'm fine, I promise. You don't need to worry."

"I thought-"

Joshua placed a hand to his shoulder. "Why don't you let me give her an exam, just to ease all of our minds?"

Kristin caught Nathan's gaze. "We'll talk more after that."

Nathan gave a nod and pulled himself away from her. "I'd like that," he replied.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Well, you pass with flying colors, my dear…as far as I can tell," Joshua said as he put his stethoscope back in his medical bag. "I think for the rest of the day, though, you should rest, take it easy."

Kristin nodded. "I wasn't planning on running a marathon," she quipped. "I was going to rest."

"Good."

"Does this mean we're finished? Will I need to do this again?" she asked.

Joshua gave a shrug. "That really all depends on you and how you feel. I think it's too early to tell yet. I think we'll have to play it by ear. But you do feel better?"

"I do indeed. I feel…like there's nothing else to worry about, that everything is going to be all right now. Certainly, that can't be coincidental."

"No, of course it isn't," Joshua agreed. "This is exactly the reaction I was hoping for." He nodded his head toward Nathan, who was sitting quietly in a chair on the other side of the room. "Well, I think you're in good hands. You have a good night now."

Kristin gave him a smile. "Thank you for everything, Joshua." She turned and looked toward Nathan. She'd never seen him looking quite so…pensive, the worry lines on his forehead looking even deeper than normal. He had his hands folded in front of him, as if in prayer. She approached him carefully, placing a gentle hand on his arm. "You needn't look so crushed. Everything's fine now."

He nodded. "I know. I just…it was difficult to take in."

"How about we go back to the room and talk, okay?" She held out her hand, and he accepted. She led him out the door and into the corridor, and the two walked quietly back to Kristin's room.

Once inside, she sat on her bed and looked at him expectantly. She motioned to the spot next to her. "Make yourself comfortable."

Nathan hesitated as he remained standing near the window. "Do you remember everything that just happened?" he asked after a moment.

"Of course."

"And you're acting so calm about it all?"

She stood and walked towards him. "Would you rather I sob my eyes out yet again? I think I've done quite enough of that for a while, thank you." She then softened. "You need to understand…yes, it was painful, but-"

"Kristin, you were screaming. You were begging us to… I wanted to stop it." Nathan's voice quivered as he spoke. "It was the hardest thing I've ever had to watch." He then averted his gaze.

She sighed. "Nathan, Joshua warned you-"

He turned to her, looking her in the eye, his eyes glistening. "I thought I'd lost you."

"But you didn't. Nathan, I understand it was difficult to watch. It was difficult to experience, but you don't understand what happened afterwards. After Sylvia died…after _I_ died… Nathan, it was…pleasant. It was peaceful. It showed me that there's nothing to be afraid of. And they promised me that nothing would hurt me anymore. And for the first time in a long while, I believe that. I really think it's over now. I don't need to worry…and I wish you wouldn't either."

"They?"

"Our past lives…Sylvia's and mine. They were all there. They showed me there's nothing to be afraid of." She put her hands on his shoulders. "I don't want you to be afraid anymore either. Everything's going to be fine. I just know it."

Nathan sighed. "But what about Knox?"

"I…I honestly don't know, but I think actually living through it…actually experiencing Sylvia's death…I think I've shown myself I can handle it. I mean, not that I would ever want to do it again, but I think I feel like a weight has been lifted off of me. I feel renewed." A minute passed. "Would you like to know what Heaven looks like?"

Nathan shook his head. "Maybe…maybe later. I think we've had enough excitement for the day, wouldn't you say?"

"So you're feeling better about all this?"

"As long as you are," he replied.

"I really am."

"I'm glad then. I, uh…I guess I should let you get some sleep? You said you were tired."

"I am. I feel like I could sleep for a week," she admitted.

Nathan walked towards the adjoining door. "Well, if you need anything, you know where I am."

"Thank you…oh, and Nathan?"

He turned back to her. "Yes?"

"Can you leave the door open just a crack, please?"

He gave her a smile. "Anything you want. Sleep well, Kristin."

"I will," she promised.


	44. Because The Passion And The Pain

Once she was alone, Kristin let out a happy sigh. She couldn't believe things were finally over. Well, they technically weren't over yet. There was still the matter of presenting the admiral's confession letter to the police, but since they already knew where the desk was, she felt like that wouldn't be too difficult now. By the end of the week, providing the repairs to the boat were finished, they could all be back on _seaQuest_. She couldn't believe it. Really, they'd only been gone a few weeks, but it felt like a lifetime. She never thought she'd be so happy entertaining the thought of being cooped up within the safety of the _seaQuest_ science lab, but she honestly wanted nothing more. And she didn't want to leave the safety of it for quite a long time, if she could at all help it.

She took one last look outside; the sun was still shining, since it was only late afternoon. Sunset wouldn't even be for another two hours or so, but she literally could not keep her eyes open any longer. She pulled the curtain back to darken the room. Then she walked into the bathroom to change into a nightgown. After that, she lay down in bed. It didn't take her long to find a comfortable position. She closed her eyes; she could hear the low murmur of the television. Nathan had put on some sort of science show, she decided. She could hear every other word…something about the ocean and ancient sharks. Part of her wanted to stay awake as she found it interesting. However, by the first commercial break, she was fast asleep.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_She found herself dressed in her white nightgown walking on that familiar beach again, the one where she'd last spoken with Sylvia. She shuddered slightly at the memory; although she'd gone through her murder, it still wasn't easy for her to accept the fact that Sylvia had suffered greatly before her death. Human suffering was something she didn't like to see: the very reason she became a doctor._

_She wondered why she'd been brought to this place again. Or perhaps it was merely a memory? She wasn't quite sure. She turned around to look behind her; she appeared to be completely alone. No sign of Sylvia and no sign of Knox. She breathed a sigh of relief for the latter and looked back towards the lapping waves of the ocean. The sun was pleasantly warm, and the breeze was gentle and delightful. She sat down in the warm sand, letting the water caress her bare feet._

_Several minutes passed before she noticed a shadow on the sand beside her. She felt her breath catch in her throat and turned her head to look. "Oh, thank goodness."_

" _I'm sorry; I didn't mean to… I should have known better after everything." Sylvia took a seat beside her. "I'm glad to know you're feeling better about things, though."_

_Kristin raised an eyebrow. "You mean you know?"_

_Sylvia nodded. "I want to let you know I admire you for being brave enough to do that."_

" _I don't think I had much of a choice. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd much rather my life was the way it used to be…before I found you."_

_Sylvia laughed lightly. "I don't think I blame you. As I'd told you before, I never quite realized what all this would do to you. I…I've obviously never done this before."_

" _Why didn't you tell me there were others?"_

" _You knew there were others; Joshua had told you," Sylvia replied._

_Kristin shook her head and looked towards her, but Sylvia averted her gaze. "That's not what I meant, and you know it. Why didn't you tell me they couldn't move on without you? That every one of them were depending on me?"_

" _I thought that I'd already given you quite a burden." She sighed. "I just didn't want to add to that." There was a pregnant pause before Sylvia spoke again. "But they were all kind to you?"_

" _Oh, of course...they were very kind…especially Alice."_

_Sylvia smiled. "Oh, yes, she is a sweetheart. I-"_

" _You mean…you mean you've met her?" Kristin's brows knitted together. "How is that possible?"_

" _Kristin, honey, you need to remember everything you've experienced…well, mostly everything…is what I went through, too…including my death_ _ **and**_ _the afterlife." She pointed towards the sky. "I was there…once."_

" _But…why? If you were already there, why couldn't you just-"_

" _I know it might not make sense to you, but I couldn't. I didn't have closure like they all did. They all knew how it happened,_ _ **why**_ _their lives were cut short…and they were all able to move on." Sylvia shook her head. "I tried to do that, even though I didn't quite understand the reason why…but something was holding me back. I…I couldn't get away from it."_

" _What was it?"_

_Just then, the clouds rolled in, causing the sun to disappear. Kristin looked up and noticed the sky instantly looked dark and grey, causing a gloomy haze to appear on the horizon._

" _Oh, no," Sylvia muttered as she looked up._

" _What…what's going on? Isn't it just a storm?" Kristin asked, noting the look of horror on Sylvia's face._

_Sylvia scrambled to her feet and pulled on Kristin's hand. "We need to go!"_

" _Go? Go where? I thought-"_

_Frank Knox's voice cut through the air then, causing a chill to run down Kristin's spine. "Oh, Sylvia! Come out wherever you are, my dear! We have some important matters to discuss."_

" _Run!" Sylvia whispered, pulling Kristin so hard that it felt as though her arm was going to rip out of its socket._

_Kristin did as she was told, running as fast as her legs could carry her, right on Sylvia's heels. She risked a look behind her. Frank Knox was only about fifteen feet behind them, a rope in his hand. "S-Sylvia," she said through pants, "where…where do we go exactly?"_

" _I know…a shortcut! Hurry; we haven't much time!" Sylvia turned and ran through a densely-wooded area._

_As Kristin followed, she found herself being poked, scratched, and prodded by branches; they ripped at her clothing, and she kept having to duck so as not to get poked in the eye. She risked another look behind her and was relieved to see that Knox was no longer on their heels. "Do…do you think we could…stop…just for a moment? We…we seem to have lost him."_

" _Only…for a minute," Sylvia responded between breaths. "It won't last. It never does."_

_Kristin took a few moments to catch her breath and then asked, "Why does this keep happening? I don't understand. I…I thought this was over."_

_Sylvia looked over Kristin's shoulder upon hearing a sound in the distance. Kristin heard it too; it sounded like someone stepping on a branch, the cracking sound filling the air._

" _I promise I'll explain everything as soon as we get somewhere safe," Sylvia replied in a hushed voice. "it's just a little further." She paused for a split second and then wrapped her arms around Kristin. "And if we get separated," she whispered softly in her ear, "you need to promise me you won't let him catch you."_

" _But what if-"_

" _Promise me."_

_Kristin relented with a frustrated sigh. "I…I promise."_

" _Good girl," Sylvia replied, releasing her. She then took her hand, and the two started running through the woods once again._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_Sylvia definitely had a completely different definition of 'not much further' than Kristin had anticipated since it felt like they'd been running for ages. Kristin swore her legs were going to fall off if she ran much further. She was about to ask Sylvia if they could rest again when they came upon a clearing. Kristin was ready to fall to her knees and praise everything that was holy when Sylvia pulled her towards a small, narrow path._

" _I know you're tired, sweetie, but it's just a little farther," Sylvia told her. "As soon as we get there, we'll be safe, and you can rest. I promise."_

_Kristin was hunched over, gasping for breath; she wasn't sure she could go 'a little farther'…that was until they heard Knox calling._

" _I'm sorry, but we have to go!" Sylvia begged, pulling Kristin in front of her and then giving her a push. "Come on. Just follow the path."_

_Kristin did so, though she wasn't sure how she had the strength. The path made several twists and turns through a tall, grassy field. When she truly felt she could run no further, the path ended, and Sylvia grabbed her hand._

" _This way…we…we made it."_

_Kristin looked around as she followed Sylvia. She hadn't realized that they were beside a cave, though she wondered how this would ensure their safety. Surely Knox would find them._

" _He never comes this far," Sylvia said, as though she were reading Kristin's thoughts. She pulled her inside and led her to stop near the back. Sylvia then lit a few candles, providing them with some light. "As you can see, this is where I usually stay."_

_Kristin looked around and saw that it was indeed set up to be a makeshift living space. There were a few blankets laid out on the floor where Sylvia instructed Kristin to sit._

" _Why does this keep happening?" Kristin asked as she sat._

_Sylvia shrugged. "I wish I knew. He…he was the force holding me back. I couldn't move on like the others. I tried, but every time I closed my eyes, I heard him calling me. I didn't know then what he'd done to me. I couldn't remember, but…I just…I couldn't seem to get away from him."_

" _But Amelia explained to me there were other realms of Heaven; why couldn't all of you just move on? Then it would have been over…wouldn't it have been?"_

" _You think like Amelia," Sylvia said. "That's what she'd said too…and we were all going to do it, but…" Sylvia's brow furrowed as though her train of thought had been interrupted._

" _But what?" Kristin pressed after a few moments. "What happened?"_

" _I don't know," Sylvia replied, her voice trembling. "The next thing I knew, I…I was here. I'm not sure how I got here. I just…I know I'm trapped here. I can't leave; Frank Knox keeps me here."_

_Kristin placed her hand on Sylvia's. "Nathan and I are going to take care of that. As soon as we get the letter from the admiral's desk and show it to the police, this will all be over."_

_Sylvia nodded. "That's what I'm thinking, but what…what if it doesn't work?" She took a shaky breath. "We've had so many disappointments already. I just…I want this to be over…for everyone."_

_Kristin wrapped her in a hug. "No one wants that more than I do; I promise, it will work. I just have a feeling that-"_

" _I know you're in there! You can't hide from me forever!"_

" _Oh, no!" Sylvia gasped._

_Kristin pulled back to look at her. "I…I thought you said he wouldn't come this far."_

" _He…he never has before. Help me…blow out those candles."_

_Kristin did so, but they were trapped. There was nowhere to run. All they could do was sit there in the dark, listening to the footsteps get closer. She covered her mouth with her right hand as she saw him move right in front of them. She felt Sylvia's hand grab onto her left hand and squeeze tightly. Kristin squeezed back, hoping that by some small chance, he wouldn't see them, that he'd give up and leave._

_No such luck, however, as he pulled his lighter from his pocket, the metallic click echoing off the stone walls. In one effortless flick, the small flame created an amber glow…and enough light to see his prey. "Well, well, what have we here?" He moved closer to them. "I don't know why you're avoiding the inevitable, my dears." He sighed. "Oh, but I do have a conundrum. Which one of you to take first?" He placed a finger on his chin, tapping gently. He then pointed to Kristin first. "Eeny, meeny, miny, moe." He moved his finger back and forth, moving from Kristin to Sylvia. "Catch a kitten by her toe." He took a few more steps forward, bending down with his face just mere centimeters away from both of them. "If she hollers, never let her go. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe." His finger stopped on Sylvia, and he let out a sinister snicker. "Oh, I will so enjoy this." He then looked at Kristin. "But don't think you're getting away this time." He pulled out a rope from his pocket and began to tie Kristin's hands behind her back._

" _No!" she cried. "Please, don't do this."_

_The only responses she heard were Frank Knox's laughter and Sylvia's soft crying._

" _I'm sorry, Kristin," Sylvia said through her tears._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**December 9, 2019**

Kristin woke up with a start, her heart pounding. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself. It was pitch-black out now, but suddenly the room lit up for a split second: lightning. And the sound of rolling thunder followed a few moments later. She pushed herself out of bed and was relieved to see a soft blue glow through the crack of the adjoining door; the television was still on, so that meant someone was still awake. She pulled on her robe and pushed the door open slightly.

It made a slight creak, and she cursed under her breath.

"Doc?" Lucas appeared at the door, giving her a questioning look.

"I…I'm sorry," she muttered. "I just…"

"The storm woke you?" he guessed.

"Not…not exactly. Um, is…is the captain awake, by chance?"

Lucas shook his head. "No, he fell asleep about an hour ago. We were watching _The Exorcist_ , but it's almost over."

"Oh, I see," she replied, trying to hide her disappointment. "Well, I suppose I should let you get to sleep then. Goodnight." She turned to leave when he caught her arm.

"It's not even midnight yet. I was actually going to watch another movie. You want to come in?"

"Are you sure?"

He gave her a smile. "Yeah, of course. Besides, I haven't gotten much time to talk to you lately." He moved to sit on his bed and patted the spot next to him. "Come on, have a seat."

She sat next to him as another loud clap of thunder filled the air, making her jump slightly.

Lucas put an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, it's okay; I never knew you were afraid of storms."

"I…I'm not. I just…I had a little dream."

"Oh, I see," he replied, grabbing the remote. "Well, we'll just find something to get your mind off that then…unless you want to talk about it?"

"That's very kind of you, but I…I'd rather not."

"Okay then," Lucas replied, beginning to flip through the channels. "Oh, we're in luck. _The Shining_ just started. I love that kid." He then lowered his voice, attempting to do an impression of him. "Redrum, redrum!"

Kristin sighed. "Under normal circumstances, I'd love nothing more than to watch old horror movies with you, but-"

"Oh, my gosh!" Lucas exclaimed. "I…I'm sorry." He quickly flipped the channel. "I…I forgot. I-"

Kristin gave his hand a squeeze. "No, please, don't apologize. It's all right." She paused for a moment and attempted to change the subject to something happier. "Um, how was your date?"

"Oh, it was a lot of fun," Lucas replied with a huge grin on his face. "Veronica and I have a lot in common."

Kristin smiled softly. She was happy that Lucas was getting to spend some time with kids his own age.

"And we even have plans to get together over the summer," he continued.

"Oh, that's wonderful. So she's okay with a long-distance relationship?"

Even in the dim light, Lucas' cheeks reddened. "Doc, we're just friends."

"Oh, I see. My apologies then. Well, I am glad to hear you two had a good time," she said, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"And did the captain tell you I'm seeing my father tomorrow?"

She shook her head. "No, actually he hadn't. I'm happy to hear that."

Lucas nodded. "Yeah, he's taking some time off to take me out to lunch."

"Only lunch?"

"Yeah, I know…he could have taken the whole day off, right?"

"Well, I wasn't going to say it, but…"

Lucas shrugged. "I'm not complaining. I'm sure the summer will be different."

"Yes, I certainly hope so," she replied, turning her attention to the television.

"Oh, what about this?" Lucas asked. " _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory._ It's certainly not a horror film, and it just started."

"Oh, I haven't seen this since I was a little girl," she gushed. "I'm okay with it if you are."

"Sure; I've always loved this movie." He set the remote down and took his laptop from the bedside table; he had apparently been playing some sort of game with his Internex friends. "I'm almost finished," he assured her. "I just want to beat Wolfman; we've been going back and forth trying to conquer each other's kingdom."

Kristin laughed slightly. "Wolfman? You still call him that? Why don't you just call him Nick?"

"Because over the Internex, we all have codenames. You know that."

"Well, as long as I don't need to start referring to you as Frankenstein," she teased gently.

Lucas laughed in response. "Never."

Kristin lay back against the pillow, trying to focus on the movie, but she kept turning her attention to Lucas' game; it was some sort of divide and conquer medieval kingdom game.

Lucas tapped her arm gently. "Watch this. I'm about to make the Wolfman kingdom bow to me." Lucas moved his virtually simulated army towards the castle on the screen. It took them just a few short minutes to breach the surrounding wall and enter the kingdom. A simulated voice then said, "Bow to me, or my army will use force."

A knight stepped forward, sword in hand. He laid it at the feet of the knight leading Lucas' army and bowed.

Lucas raised his arms in the air and did a quiet cheer, so as not to wake the captain.

"Same time tomorrow, Frankenstein?" the simulated voice sounded out of the speakers of the laptop.

"I'll be here," Lucas replied. "Talk to you later, Wolfman." Lucas then turned the game off and turned to Kristin. "See, I told you I wouldn't take long." He was about to shut the computer down when Kristin stopped him.

"Wait…I was wondering if you could do me a small favor?"

"What's that?" Lucas asked.

She sighed. "Well, with everything that happened, we never found out what happened to Captain Jack Remington. I've tried to ask Sylvia, but she…well, she never gave me a straight answer. I don't even know if she knows. I mean, I'm assuming he's obviously dead now. But when exactly did that happen? You didn't find anything in your research, did you?"

Lucas' brows knitted together as he tried to recall. "I don't think anything I found actually said, but you're looking at the master," he said with a smile as he cracked his knuckles.

She laughed softly. "That's what I was hoping for." She pushed herself up to look over his shoulder while he started typing things into the search bar. Unfortunately, several searches later yielded very little.

"That's strange," Lucas muttered after several minutes. "I can't even find a death record."

"That doesn't make sense," Kristin replied. "You'd think the Navy would have a death record on him."

"Actually, it does," Lucas said after a minute.

"What?"

"It's possible he disappeared during the Pearl Harbor attacks. If his body was never found, it's quite possible a death record was never made…or at least not made until many years later." Then he had a thought. "Wait, if I put in the _Nautilus_ , perhaps I'll find something that way." Lucas typed and came up with some promising webpages. He clicked the first one, and Kristin read aloud.

"Captain Jack Remington was captain of the _USS Nautilus_ from 1940 through 1941. He unfortunately disappeared on December 7, 1941; since his body was never found, it is assumed that he perished in the Pearl Harbor attacks."

Lucas sighed. "I'm sorry, Doc."

She waved a hand. "That's…that's all right. I knew what to expect." She glanced towards Nathan, who was still sound asleep, and let out a sigh. "I just wish we had more details, but I…I guess it doesn't matter now."

"Is there anything else you want me to search for you?"

She shook her head. "No, no, that's quite all right. You've been very helpful, thank you. Let's just…let's just watch the movie, okay?"

Lucas nodded and then put his laptop away. He then lay back on the bed and put his arm around the doctor.

She sighed and laid her head on his shoulder, grateful for the small comfort he was trying to give her. She did her best to focus on the movie, and she made a mental note that she'd need to speak with Nathan in the morning. They had to get to Waimea as soon as they could, so they could end this. And in the back of her mind, she prayed that the admiral's letter really would end this all…for good.


	45. Are Gonna Keep You Alive Someday

Lucas could feel Kristin trembling slightly beneath his touch. "Are you cold?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Not really," she replied, stifling a yawn. "Why?"

"No reason." He simply tightened his hold on her, and she snuggled into him. He guessed that she'd had more than 'just a little dream', though she had said she didn't want to talk about it. He wasn't going to force her, so he tried to focus on the movie but kept a watchful eye on her at the same time. He saw her eyelids start to droop by the time Augustus fell into the chocolate river, though he could see she was fighting to keep her eyes open.

He felt her start to relax shortly thereafter, no longer trembling. He glanced down and saw her eyes closed, and she was snoring lightly. He smiled softly and pulled the covers up over her.

"No," she mumbled tiredly, gently pushing the blanket off of her. "If you do that, I'll fall asleep right here."

"I think it's a little late for that," he said with a slight laugh. "Don't worry about it. It's late." He pulled the blanket back up over her.

She let out a sigh and some sort of mumbled protest, but this time, she didn't attempt to remove the blanket.

"Whatever you say," Lucas replied. By the time Violet had turned into a human blueberry, she was fast asleep once again. Lucas smiled softly as he tucked the covers around her a little tighter. He kissed her gently on the cheek and whispered, "Sweet dreams, Doc."

He then tiptoed to the linen closet and took out a spare pillow and blanket. He carried them to the sofa in the room, shut the movie off, and turned in for the night himself.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin awoke with a scream, her heart pounding, her breath coming in short pants. She'd had yet another violent dream involving Frank Knox. It was very much the same as the last one, only this time, he'd gotten to her first; he'd done some awful things. A violent shiver ran down her spine, the memory still fresh in her mind.

"Kristin, are you all right?" Nathan put a hand on her shoulder.

She hadn't even noticed him, forgetting she had slept in his room. She startled slightly.

"Sorry," he muttered, pulling his hand away. "Hey…you…you're shaking."

She shook her head. "It…it's nothing." She could feel his eyes on her as she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. "I'm fine."

"No, you're not," he insisted. "Anyone can see that." He put a hand on her shoulder again, but she pulled away.

"P-please, don't touch me," she said quietly. She threw the covers off of her and moved to the opposite side of the bed, away from Nathan. She shut her eyes tightly, hoping he wouldn't move next to her.

It took everything in her power not to sob uncontrollably right then and there. She was so damned tired of this whole mess, and she felt like she was losing her mind… _again_. Anger coursed through her veins; she had thought she was finished with Frank Knox. She didn't expect to see him again. She thought when Alice told her everything was going to be all right, she meant it. She had obviously misinterpreted. Either that or Alice was misleading her. She rested her chin on her knees and sighed.

She heard soft footfalls after a few minutes. She risked a look and saw Nathan staring at her intently, his brow furrowed with worry.

"You're still having the dreams?" he finally said.

"What was your first clue?" she bit back. It sounded harsher than she had intended, but her anger was getting the worst of her.

Nathan sighed and moved to kneel in front of her. He reached out for her hand, but she pulled away.

"I said _don't_ touch me," she told him through gritted teeth. She stood, pushed past him, and walked towards the adjoining door, but Nathan blocked her way. "Let me through."

Nathan shook his head. "Not until you tell me what the hell is going on with you."

She glared at him with no intention of offering a reply.

Nathan crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the door. "Hey, I've got all day," he told her, giving her a glare in return.

She let out a frustrated groan and walked towards the window then. She stared outside. The sun was high in the sky, not a cloud in sight. The beach below was filled with scores of people, laughing, swimming, and having fun. She shook her head. How ironic that on a day such as this, she could feel so miserable. The events of the nightmare ran through her mind again; her eyes welled up with tears. She wiped at them with her hands. _Don't you dare do this_ , she scolded herself. _That's the last thing you need._

After a few brief moments, she heard the soft creak of the floor as Nathan moved towards her. "Kris…please? It…it scares me when you won't talk to me. What happened? I just want to help you."

"I…I'm sorry, Nathan, but…I just can't." Her voice shook with every word. She felt a few silent tears run down her cheeks then, no longer able to keep them at bay. She shut her eyes tightly again, feeling Nathan's gaze upon her. "P-please…just leave me alone. I think everyone will be happier that way."

"That's a lie, and you know it." He paused, letting out a deep sigh. "It just kills me to see you like this."

She turned to him, looking him straight in the eye. "Then I suggest you don't watch." And with that, she pushed past him and left the room, letting the door slam loudly behind her.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The first thing she did was walk straight into the bathroom, being sure to lock the door behind her. She needed a shower, hoping that would help wash the memory of the horrible nightmare away. She turned on the tap and let the water run as hot as she could stand it. She then undressed and stepped inside, closing the shower door behind her.

She leaned up against the wall and let the warm spray of water wash over her, letting her eyes close as it began to relax and soothe her. She stayed that way for several minutes, letting out a soft sigh of relief as she imagined her troubles temporarily going down the drain. Reluctantly, however, she knew she couldn't stay in there all day, much as she might like. She reached her hand towards the shampoo bottle but instantly pulled back, uttering a cry of pain. Something had stung her wrist terribly, and it wasn't the hot water. She examined her wrist closely and noticed deep cuts, red and puffy, just like the ones she had a few days before: rope burns. She hadn't noticed them before. She brought her other hand up and noticed that wrist was the same way.

She sighed and gingerly reached out for the shampoo once again, this time being sure she didn't let the water hit the wounds. Unfortunately, the movement had caused the wounds to crack and split. She gasped again in pain and shut her eyes tightly, waiting for the sting to subside. When it had reduced to a dull throb, she took a deep breath and proceeded to wash her hair, trying to be as careful as she could be, though she was gasping and wincing with every movement.

When it came time to rinse, she happened to notice the water had turned red; her wounds had cracked so badly that they were bleeding profusely, the hot water increasing the blood flow. She adjusted the water temperature and quickly washed so she could tend to her wrists. A few minutes later, she had finished, turned the tap off, and stepped out of the shower. She reached for the towel, gasping in pain once again. She dried herself off as best she could, trying not to get blood on the white towel, though she failed at that. She then wrapped the towel around her body and walked over to the sink, letting cool water run and gently cleansed her wounds. At least the bleeding had slowed now, though it still hadn't stopped.

She then reached for her medical bag, which was sitting on a small table near the vanity. When she did so, however, she felt a rough hand clamp down on her arm. She screamed in fright, knowing exactly who was there with her.

Frank Knox gave a sinister laugh and wrapped a rope around one of her wrists. "I don't think we were quite finished, my darling."

"Please…let me go!" she cried, struggling against him.

"Oh, I don't think I can do that, sweetheart." He pushed her roughly against the wall and proceeded to wrap the rope around her other wrist. He then attempted to kiss her, though she turned her head away. "I've taken quite a liking to you." He then brought his mouth closer to her ear and whispered, "And you will learn to love me eventually."

"Never!" she spat as she struggled to break free.

A second later, she heard the door handle jiggle and then frantic knocking. "Kristin!" It was Nathan. "Kristin! Are you all right?"

"N-Nathan, I-" She stopped short when Frank Knox disappeared before her eyes.

"Kristin!" Nathan shouted again. "What's happening?"

Kristin, however, was in shock. She leaned up against the wall and sank to the floor, crying softly. She still heard Nathan shouting and banging, but she couldn't bring herself to answer.

After several minutes, however, the door burst open, and Nathan knelt before her. "Kristin? Oh…God…" he breathed when he noticed her wrists. "What happened, honey?"

She shook her head, unable to speak as she cried a little harder. "I…I…"

He reached out to put a hand on her trembling shoulder. "It's all right now. You're safe," he told her instead.

She shrugged his hand away and shook her head. Even his gentle touch made her leery, considering what had just happened. She took a few shaky breaths in an effort to calm down.

Nathan quickly removed his hand, getting the hint. "I…I'm sorry," he told her. He then moved to retrieve the antibiotic cream and the gauze from the medical bag. He reached out with one of his hands, but then stopped. "I…I just want to help you wrap these up, all right? I…I promise I won't hurt you."

She hesitated for a moment until his words had sunk in. She put her hand out and allowed him to take it and watched in silence as he tended to her wounds and wrapped them in gauze.

When he was finished, he turned to put the supplies away and then turned back to her, his eyes silently pleading with her to speak.

She shook her head and wiped the stray tears from her cheeks. "I…don't even know what to say," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I just…I feel like a damned fool." Her voice trembled again and her chin quivered as she took a ragged breath.

Nathan knelt down before her. "And what makes you think that?"

"Because I…I truly believed after yesterday that this was all over…that everything was going to be fine. I was such an idiot to put my trust in a child…one that may or may not be real." A soft sob tore its way from her throat. "I…I keep seeing Frank Knox in dreams...when I'm awake." She shook her head. "Just before you came in here, he…he…" She pointed to a spot on the floor. "I swear as God as my witness, he was standing right there. And…and then he… If you hadn't shown up, I…" She shuddered, shutting her eyes tightly. "And then he…he disappeared into thin air." She buried her face into her hands and cried quietly. "I…I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"Oh, Kris, that's not true. You are not a fool at all. We…we all believed-"

"No, we didn't _all_ believe," she said through her tears. " _You_ didn't."

He sighed. "I was just worried. I wanted to believe it worked. I don't think there's anything wrong with that."

She didn't answer.

Nathan reached out towards her hand. He didn't take it, however. Instead he turned his palm over and waited for her to put her hand in his.

She stared at it for a moment, not making an attempt to move.

"Please?" he said. "I…I know you don't want me to touch you, but-"

She sighed. "It…it's not necessarily you. I just…can't."

"What exactly did he do to you?"

"He…he...took a rope and…" She stopped short. "He…" She shook her head. She had wanted to tell him everything, tell him how Frank Knox had hurt her…but she couldn't bring herself to say it. "I…I'm sorry. I just can't."

Nathan let out a sigh as he stood. "Fine, if that's the way you want it…" He started towards the door and then turned back to her. "I…I just don't know what to do for you anymore."

"Then don't do anything," she cried. "I…I never asked you to."

"Damn it, Kristin," he muttered, leaning his forehead up against the door frame. "I'm trying so hard here, but…you're not making it easy."

She sniffled softly in response.

Nathan sighed and turned back to her again. "Look, I…I didn't mean… Please, Kris, stop crying."

She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I'm trying," she muttered.

He knelt down and offered his hand. "Come on; get up off the floor…please?"

She hesitated for a moment but then relented.

"Good," he said with a smile. "That was easy, wasn't it?"

She shrugged.

"Well, I was going to wait until later for this, but… Get dressed."

"What?"

"Get dressed," he said again. "We're leaving in twenty minutes. We have work to do."

She opened her mouth to ask what in the world he was talking about, but he left the room.

"Just listen to me, please," he called before closing the adjoining door behind him.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

She stood there for a few moments in shock, unsure of what in the world he had planned. She was in no mood to go anywhere, but she didn't want to stay wrapped in a towel all day. She let it fall to the floor and began to dress, choosing a simple pair of jeans, a T-shirt, and a sweater to go over it. She then brushed her teeth and ran a comb through her hair.

A few minutes later, she heard a gentle knock on the adjoining door as it opened again.

"Ready or not," Nathan called, appearing in the open doorway of the bathroom.

"I'm ready," she replied, "though I really don't think I can go anywhere. I'm not in the mood."

"I know, but I think this is necessary. How about a road trip to Waimea?"

She sighed. She had planned to talk to him about that, but she wasn't so sure about going now. "I don't think we should…"

"Why not?" he asked, taking a step towards her. "I think it will help solve your little Frank Knox problem, don't you?"

"But…"

"Look, Bill lent me the keys to his car. I won't push you to talk. We can drive up there in complete silence if that's what you want. But we both know we need to find that letter so we can put an end to all this…don't you agree?"

"Oh, all right," she relented. "But we can't just walk in there and expect them to give it to us."

Nathan gave her a wink. "I know; that's why we happen to have an expert computer hacker in our midst."

She shook her head. "But I thought Lucas was having lunch with his father today."

"Apparently, you don't know how long you slept," he replied with a light laugh. "It's after noon already…and in true Lawrence Wolenczak fashion, he cancelled. But don't worry; he rescheduled for tomorrow. Lucas doesn't appear too crushed about it anyway."

"Well, where is he then?"

"He's hanging out with the others by the beach, but he and I already spoke about this this morning. We've already planned it. So what do you say?"

She sighed. "I guess I don't have a choice. Lead the way then."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Forty minutes later, they were on the road. It had taken a little longer than expected because Nathan wanted to speak with Lucas so he'd be ready for them. When they arrived in Waimea, Nathan was to call him via cellular vid-phone so that Lucas would know to disable the security alarms and cameras. And then Lucas explained they'd only have a very small window of three minutes to locate the letter and step away from the desk before they were discovered. So Lucas showed them a virtual map of the museum, explaining the best route to the exhibit. He explained it several times to them, but Kristin found herself distracted, unable to concentrate.

She leaned her arm against the window, cradling her chin in her hand as she watched the passing scenery. She could also feel Nathan look at her every few minutes. "I think it would help if you watched the road instead of me," she finally said.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I was just wondering if you might be hungry. You haven't eaten yet today, and-"

"I'm fine. I just want to get this over with," she interrupted, still staring out the window.

"Okay," he replied. Five minutes passed before he asked, "Are you thirsty then?"

"I said I'm fine," she answered, trying to mask the annoyance in her voice.

"Are you cold?"

"No."

"Are you hot? I could turn the air conditioner on."

She groaned. "I thought you said we could drive there in silence. Are we going to play twenty questions the whole time? It's getting on my nerves. If I need something, I know how to ask."

"I…I know. I'm sorry. I just…I'm concerned."

She let out a sigh. "Yes, I know…but I just don't feel comfortable talking right now…to anyone. So I'd appreciate it if you could respect that…please?"

"Right, okay. I can do that." He paused. "How about a little music?"

She rolled her eyes, not offering an answer.

Nathan flipped on the radio and started going through stations. The first song was an old country song. "Uh, just say when," he told her.

She gave him a glare in response.

"Or I could just pick something," he replied, getting the hint.

He flipped through several stations: heavy metal, pop, Christian, rap, and children's music…that was until he found an oldies station, one that happened to be playing tunes from the 1940's. "This sounds nice, doesn't it?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, not offering an answer. She tried to ignore the radio. After a few songs, an announcer's voice came through the speakers, "And next up, one of my favorites, _I Remember You_."

Nathan looked at her and smiled softly. "Brings back memories, doesn't it?"

She shook her head, trying to ignore the song, though he was indeed correct; the memory of when they'd danced to it came flooding back to her, causing tears to sting her eyes. No longer able to stand it, she leaned forward and shut the radio off.

"Hey, what'd you do that for?" Nathan asked.

"You know perfectly well why," she growled. "Is this all part of your little plan?"

"What plan?"

She let out a snort. "Oh, sure, act all innocent when you know exactly what you've been doing the whole time!"

Nathan immediately pulled the car over to the side of the road and put it in park. "What _I've_ been doing? What about you? I don't even know how to handle you anymore. I try so hard, and you keep pushing me away!"

"That's exactly the point!" she shouted. "I've tried to explain to you I can't be with you, but yet, you keep pushing!"

"Because we both know you didn't mean it!"

She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again. She turned back towards the window.

Nathan softened. "Come on, Kris, I know you love me. You've said it yourself, and-"

"You keep missing the point," she said again, opening the car door and walking down the highway.

Nathan opened his door and ran after her. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"Anywhere away from you!" she shouted.

Nathan ignored her comment and walked beside her. After a few minutes, he caught her by the arm. "Kristin, please, get back in the car."

She pulled away from him. "Please, don't touch me," she said through gritted teeth. "I don't know how many times I need to say it."

"I'm sorry, I just…please, can we talk about this…civilly?"

She sighed and turned from him, though she did stop walking. She turned towards the sandy beach they were near, trying to focus on the rolling waves.

"Well, that's a start," he replied, moving to stand next to her. "I…I'm sorry I keep pushing you. I just… I know you don't mean everything you say, and-"

She turned to him then, tears in her eyes. "That's the problem, Nathan, I _do_ , and you act as though you haven't heard a thing I've said."

"No, of course I have."

She shook her head. "But you haven't listened. I…I told you I couldn't be anything more to you than a friend-"

"But, Kris-"

"Nathan, please…don't make this harder than it already is," she told him, her voice desperate. "I…I do love you very much, but with everything that's happened…" She sighed. "I don't think I can…and I don't know if I'll ever be able to show you that love." She placed a gentle hand to his cheek. "I'm not for you, Nathan; maybe I never was meant to be. You need to understand I am doing this for your own good…because I love you."

"No, Kristin…you don't need to do this."

"Yes, I do," she insisted. "Please, if you care anything for me, just listen to me." She turned and walked back to the car.

Nathan stood there for several minutes before he did the same; this time, he didn't say a single word to her.

Kristin let out a sigh, part of her relieved while the other died just a little.


	46. Terrified Of The Dark

The tension hung in the air around them as they continued on their trip to Waimea. They hadn't spoken a single word to each other since their little tiff twenty minutes before. Kristin, however, felt a pang of guilt about it all now. She hadn't meant he couldn't speak to her at all; she still needed and wanted his friendship. She just needed him to back off a little in the romance department. She crossed her arms and let out a sigh. She knew she was probably going to have to make the first step.

She turned to glance at him and noticed how angry he looked, jaw clenched, eyes narrowed. Either he didn't notice her looking at him or he didn't care. Kristin looked down at her hands, trying to decide what to say. She then looked towards him again.

"Something the matter?" he asked, his tone anything but gentle, eyes still fixed on the road.

"I…" she began awkwardly. She took a deep breath. "Are you angry with me?"

She noticed his frown soften a little as he turned to look at her. "No, I'm not angry with you."

"But you're not happy with me either," she continued. "I didn't mean we couldn't talk at all, you know."

He let out a slight laugh. "Well, talking with you is a little difficult lately since I never know what topics are off-limits. So you tell me what's okay and what's not so I don't make another mistake."

"If you'd just listen to me when I tell you I don't want to talk about something, we wouldn't be having this conversation now," she retorted, feeling her anger rise once again.

"Fine," Nathan said through clenched teeth. "What would you like to talk about? Trivial and meaningless topics all right with you?"

"You're absolutely impossible," she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I could say the same thing about you," he shot back.

She sighed and turned back towards the window. _Great, that went so_ _ **well**_ _, didn't it?_ she thought miserably.

She shook her head and tried to forget about Nathan for the time being. Then a sudden thought occurred to her. She couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it before, but now that they were so close to finding the letter, she couldn't help but wonder. "What if this doesn't work?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Lucas knows what he's doing; you don't need to worry," he replied. "He explained what we need to do. Do you want to go over it again?"

"No, that's not what I meant. How exactly is a letter going to solve Sylvia's murder? You or I or anyone else could have written a letter days ago and said it was written by Admiral Beatty."

"Sylvia told you this would indeed solve her murder, though, didn't she?"

"Yes, but forgive me if I'm not exactly keen on trusting her. She's made me a lot of promises that didn't exactly turn out the way she said." She sighed. "I just don't know how presenting a letter to the police is going to prove anything at all."

"You're having second thoughts about doing this?"

She shook her head. "We've come this far already; it would be futile to back out now, I think. Besides, I promised Sylvia," she replied.

"Well, maybe she knows something we don't?"

She nodded. "I certainly hope so."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Fifteen minutes later, Nathan pulled the car into the parking lot at the museum. They both got out of the car and stretched.

"I need to call Lucas and tell them we've arrived," Nathan told her, taking the cellular phone out of his pocket.

She gave a nod, feeling a shiver run up her spine. She wasn't quite sure why. The sun was pleasantly warm, yet she couldn't fight the uneasy feeling that washed over her.

When Nathan was finished on the phone, he turned to her and asked, "Is there anything you want or need before we go inside? Are you hungry?"

"Not at the moment. We could always stop and eat afterwards, if you'd like. I just want to go inside and get this over with."

"Are you feeling all right?"

She gave a light shrug as they walked towards the entrance. "I…I'm not sure what I'm feeling. I just…want to get this over with as quickly as possible."

"Well, we do need to spend a little longer than five minutes inside. We need to at least pretend we want to see the exhibit. We don't want to look suspicious," he reminded her.

"Very well," she replied with a sigh. She knew Nathan was right. As her hand rested on the door handle, she took a deep breath before opening it, trying to force the uncomfortable feeling down.

Once inside, Nathan paid the admission fee and took a map in his hand. They stepped through the turnstile, and Nathan leafed through the pamphlet in his hand. "Well, the exhibit is this way, but maybe you'd like to start in here." He pointed to a picture in the pamphlet. "They have an 'Under the Sea' exhibit. As long as we're here, we should try to have a little fun, right?"

"Looks exciting," she replied, trying to sound enthusiastic.

"Well, if you'd rather not…"

She shook her head. "No, it's fine; lead the way."

Nathan led her through the halls of the museum, passing the exhibits on early inventions and dinosaurs until they reached the exhibit on the sea. As they entered, the lights were dimmed low, and there were tiny mirrors on the ceiling that reflected the light in such a way that it looked as though they were beneath the ocean.

Kristin felt Nathan's hand on her shoulder. "Feels like home, doesn't it?" he asked.

She looked up, and although she knew it was artificial, it did help her feel a bit more at ease. "Indeed," she replied quietly.

"Do you…want to do this together, or would you rather go off on your own?"

"Oh…um…" She glanced around the room, looking at the different displays. She saw one that she was particularly drawn to on megladon sharks. "Well, if you'd like to follow me, I'm going there first," she told him with a nod of her head.

Nathan followed her gaze and smiled. "You read my mind."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

They could have easily spent all afternoon wandering around that exhibit, but as Kristin was reading up on different sorts of ocean bacteria, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She startled slightly.

"Sorry," he muttered. "I really hate to pull you away from this, but we've been in here for over an hour."

She gave a silent nod and followed him through the museum halls once again. Unfortunately, the uneasy feeling returned; her stomach fluttered and flipped, and she paused to take a deep breath.

She must have looked uncomfortable because Nathan asked, "Are you all right?" He motioned to a bench. "We could take a short break."

"Oh, I'm fine, thank you." She was afraid that if she sat, she wouldn't want to get up again. She just wanted to get this over with, so there was really no sense in avoiding it any longer, she told herself.

"You're sure?" he asked again, his eyebrows knitting together in worry.

"I'm sure," she replied, her voice steady.

They passed several halls before they found the exhibit on the history of Pearl Harbor. Kristin wasn't quite sure what she was expecting, but the moment they stepped into the exhibit area, her heart skipped a beat. It was as though they were back in 1941 all over again, and several feelings washed over her all at once: happiness, joy, worry, fear, and despair. She saw artifacts and pictures, and she recognized just about every single one of them. She noticed Nathan staring at her intently, and she turned to meet his gaze.

"Sure is something, isn't it?" he muttered. "Not quite what I expected."

She nodded. "Me either. Um, shall we have a look around?" Without waiting for an answer, she started walking through the exhibit, stopping to look at pictures and read placards. She expected Nathan to follow her, but he started down on the other end. She shrugged, not really minding the change since she noticed he was looking at the parts of the exhibit that focused more on the military, something she wasn't too interested in.

Suddenly, she stopped in her tracks when she noticed a photograph on the far wall. She made a bee-line towards it and gasped when she stood just a few feet in front of it. It looked as though it were a political rally of some sort; the photo was black and white, of course, but one could clearly see streamers and signs decorating a white stage in the middle of a crowd. On the stage stood several people, and she instantly recognized Richard Mayfield. Standing to his right were Admiral Beatty and Secretary General Knox. Then her eyes came to rest on the image of a woman in the background, virtually her twin: Sylvia. Then standing just behind her… She couldn't believe it. She looked at the date: November of 1941.

"Nathan!" She turned her head and called a bit louder. "Nathan, come quickly!"

Nathan was at her side less than a minute later. "What's wrong?" When she didn't answer, he followed her gaze to the photo. "Is that…"

She gave a nod without looking at him. "It's so strange seeing them all like that. I didn't realize…" She stopped short, suddenly feeling lightheaded. She shut her eyes tightly and clamped a hand down on Nathan's arm to steady herself.

Nathan's strong arms went around her, leading her to the nearby bench. "Kristin, what's wrong?" Concern laced every word.

Kristin opened her mouth to speak, but no sound came out due to the fact the room was suddenly spinning. She laid her forehead against his chest, trying to fight back the waves of nausea that crept up on her. She let out a low moan as she suddenly realized she was going to lose the fight. "Nathan…I…I'm going to be sick," she choked out, tears stinging her eyes. She covered her mouth as her stomach flipped.

She heard Nathan whispering to her in low tones, but she really couldn't focus on what he was saying. She heard other voices, murmurs. She opened her eyes briefly and saw a small group of people standing above her, though their faces were blurred. She suddenly realized she was lying on her back; she wondered when that had happened. "Nathan…"

She felt her hand being squeezed. "I'm right here," she heard him say. "I'm not leaving you."

She looked in the direction of his voice, but she couldn't focus. "Nathan…I can't…" Her words were cut off as another wave of nausea washed over her. "I can't…"

Nathan continued to speak to her gently, but she couldn't quite understand what he was saying. She fought to open her eyes, but her eyelids felt as though they weighed a hundred pounds each. Her breathing began coming in short, irregular pants, making her head ache.

She felt her eyes roll back in her head as she heard Nathan calling her name frantically. She tried to stay with him, but she couldn't. The darkness finally closed in around her.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_Kristin found herself in a dark tunnel again. Funny how she was used to all these strange happenings by now, she thought. Although it was dark, she could feel the warm, white light at the end of the tunnel._

_As her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she looked around for Alice and felt a slight sadness when she didn't see her. Still, she remembered what to do from the last time, and she thought perhaps Alice would be waiting for her on the other side._

_Once outside of the tunnel, however, Alice wasn't there. She looked in the direction of the willow tree, expecting Alice, Amelia, Rebecca, and Mary to be there, but they weren't._

_She shook her head, suddenly at a loss of what to do next. She listened intently, hoping to hear the voices of the other women, but she was only met with the sound of the gentle breeze rustling through the field and the sound of the stream. The stream…_

_It was possible they were all there, she decided. Her eyebrows knitted together as she realized she didn't quite remember the way, but she could follow the sound. She walked past the willow tree and stopped every so often to listen to ensure she was going in the right direction. She also listened for any sign of the others, though she never heard them._

_As she walked towards the clearing that led to the stream, she wondered where the others could possibly be, though she hadn't explored every inch of this realm. Perhaps they were on the other side. She was about to turn when she saw a figure knelt down near the stream. She was taken aback since he looked familiar. She breathed a sigh of relief and ran towards him. "Nathan! Nathan, I can't believe it. How did you-" Her words were cut off as he stood and turned towards her. Although he looked like Nathan, she could instantly tell there was something different. "Nathan?"_

_He shook his head and held up his hands. "Sorry, I'm…"_

" _Jack," she finished for him as he nodded. "How… I'm not sure I understand." She looked behind her again. "Why haven't I…"_

" _Seen me before?"_

_She nodded._

_He smiled softly and walked towards her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and let out a sigh. "I've been watching from a distance." He turned her towards the other realm of Heaven that Amelia had shown her the last time. "But it's come to the point where I don't think I can be an innocent bystander anymore. I thought I should step in and help you."_

" _You…you've been watching the whole time, and you've just_ _ **now**_ _decided to come to my aid?" she asked in disbelief. "Where were you when Frank Knox was hurting me, hurting Sylvia? How in the world can you say you care about her when you've done nothing this whole time?" The bitterness in her voice was evident as her anger rose. "Or maybe you were part of the conspiracy the whole time?"_

" _Now you wait just a damned minute! You have no idea what happened when-"_

_She let out a sarcastic laugh. "Oh, I think I do; I was there, remember? In Sylvia's last moments, she was alone!" Her voice started to tremble as the thought was too much for her to bear. "She was frightened!"_

_Jack put his hands on her arms. "I…I know, but you have to believe me. I tried… I never wanted-"_

_Her hands balled into fists, and before she knew what was happening, she found herself pummeling him in the chest. "She was calling for you, and you never came!" she cried as she broke down into sobs, overwhelmed by all the emotions that were washing over her. "You…never…came." She buried her head in her hands as violent sobs wracked her body._

_Several minutes passed and then she felt Jack's strong arms go around her. She clung to him as he spoke to her in gentle tones in an effort to calm her._

" _I tried to save her. I just… I couldn't." His voice was barely above a whisper. "But I swear to you, I'd have never done anything to hurt her. I loved her more than anything, more than life itself. I would have taken her place in a heartbeat. You know that…" He pulled back to look at her. "…don't you?"_

_Even through her tears, she could see the sincerity in his eyes. She gave a silent nod as she took a ragged breath. "I'm…sorry. I don't even know why I…acted like that." She lowered her gaze. "Forgive me."_

_A few seconds later, his hand went below her chin and lifted gently. "There's nothing to forgive. It's not exactly your fault."_

_Her brow furrowed. "What?"_

_He sighed and put an arm around her shoulders as he led her to sit in the grass and then sat down next to her. "You're not exactly acting on your own accord."_

" _You mean I'm still…under the influence of Sylvia?" she replied. "That would explain why I have such a difficult time…"_

" _Controlling your emotions?" he finished as he rubbed his chest. "Yes, well, you and Sylvia both have fiery tempers."_

_She blushed. "I said I was sorry."_

" _I know, but I'm fine," he assured her. "Sylvia went through the same thing."_

_She raised an eyebrow. "You mean you… She was here…with you?" She suddenly felt dizzy._

" _For a little while, yes. Didn't Amelia tell you that?"_

" _Yes, but I didn't realize you were here as well." She paused. "But why can't you two be together now?"_

_He shook his head. "Because that's not how it works. Unfortunately, there are rules. After Sylvia... Well, I didn't even know what had happened to her until I…"_

" _Jack…" she asked quietly. "How did you die?"_

" _I don't remember much," he admitted. "I was asleep. I heard noises; bombs, alarms. I ran outside…and there was an explosion. And then nothing..." He met her gaze. "I didn't feel any pain; it was over in an instant. My only regret was the fact I didn't get to say goodbye to Sylvia…but then I found her here, and we were happy…momentarily." His eyes glazed slightly as he looked towards the horizon, and a long silence followed._

_She placed a hand on his shoulder in an effort to bring him back to the present. "What happened?"_

_When he turned back to her, she saw his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "She was angry. She…she said she couldn't move on until she knew how and why. She didn't have closure. Shortly after we had arrived, she and I had an argument, much like the one you and I just had. She was angry at me for never coming to her rescue. I tried to explain to her, but she wouldn't have it." He took a deep breath. "She said she needed to be alone, and that was the last time I saw her."_

" _What do you mean?"_

_He gave a light shrug. "I thought she'd left."_

" _She wouldn't leave you, not without telling you first," Kristin insisted. She gasped and shook her head. "I couldn't… How could I possibly know that?"_

_He gave her a smile. "Because you and Sylvia share a soul."_

" _That's another thing I've been meaning to ask. If Sylvia and I share a soul…and all the others are our past lives…" She motioned in the direction of the willow tree. "How could she be reincarnated as me if she never crossed over? I thought that had to happen first."_

" _Actually, no, that's not a rule," he said with a light laugh. "It's complicated, but I'll do my best to explain it so that you understand. The human soul is infinite. It can be reincarnated over and over again, but with each reincarnation, a bit of the soul stays with the previous reincarnation. So, no, one does not need to cross over in order to be reincarnated. In Sylvia's case, her soul knew things didn't go as planned, that something wasn't right. When she felt the time was right, her soul broke into two parts, which is where you come in. That's why while you have many personality traits and characteristics, you are not exactly the same."_

_Kristin's eyebrows knitted together. "So I was essentially put on the earth only to solve her murder?"_

_Jack shook his head. "No, that is not the only reason. It was so you could find the happiness that Sylvia couldn't. Solving her murder was only part of it, but you agreed to that long before your soul entered your body. Everyone makes a contract before he or she is put on the earth."_

_Kristin gave him a doubtful look._

_He nodded. "I know what you're thinking, but it's true. When we agree to the bad things we're going to encounter over the course of our lives, there's a reason for it. It might be to make ourselves stronger or it might be to help others. Maybe they're the ones who need to be made stronger or perhaps it's to help the greater good. Eventually, the soul will have a fulfilling reincarnation where pain and suffering is minimal."_

_Kristin was quiet as she processed the information. "Very well; if what you say is true, what about Frank Knox? Why can't I…or Sylvia…seem to get away from him?"_

" _Frank Knox is…a unique case."_

_When he didn't say anything more, after a few minutes, she asked, "Is that all you can tell me?"_

" _There are some steps you're going to have to take, but you're on the right track starting with that letter."_

_She let out a groan. "How is a letter going to solve anything?"_

" _Believe me, it will help," he told her. "But it's not going to solve the Frank Knox problem."_

" _What?" She leapt to her feet. "You're telling me after all this time, after everything I've been through… Then why am I here?"_

" _You seem to be missing what I just told you; this isn't just about Sylvia's spiritual journey. It's about yours too."_

_Her mouth fell open in shock. "But…"_

" _You and Sylvia are connected, and you always will be. But you need to understand that there are lessons to be learned here for_ _ **everyone**_ _involved."_

_Kristin shook her head. "The only lesson I think I've learned is not to open mysterious chests," she said flatly. "And if that's the case, I've more than learned it."_

" _The universe feels differently," he said, placing an arm around her shoulders. "I know it's difficult for you to understand, but-"_

" _What if I refuse? What if we just go back to_ _ **seaQuest**_ _and forget all of this ever happened?"_

" _It doesn't work like that. Running away isn't going to solve the problem."_

_A sob suddenly escaped her throat. She didn't realize she was even close to crying. "I don't think I can…"_

_He turned to face her. "Yes, Kristin, you_ _**can** _ _. You're not alone. I know you think you need to push everyone away, but that's the last thing you need to do. Don't push Nathan away. Be honest and open with him. He's worried sick about you."_

" _I've just been trying to spare him any pain. I feel guilty about that too, and-"_

_"That's part of the lesson: forgiveness."_

" _What?"_

_The sky suddenly darkened. Kristin looked up to see dark clouds forming. Odd. She didn't think that happened here._

_Jack let out a sigh as he looked up. "Damn it," he muttered. He turned back to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm sorry, but you can't stay here any longer."_

" _What? Why not? I'm not finished…"_

" _My hands are tied," he explained as he gave her a gentle push. "You just go back the way you came; you remember."_

" _No, I still have so many questions!" she cried. "Jack, please!"_

" _Just remember what I said, and you'll be fine."_

_She let out one last protest as the darkness caved in around her once again._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

When Kristin's eyes fluttered open, she was surrounded by several unfamiliar faces in blue uniforms. Her face was covered by an oxygen mask. While her vision was still a little blurry, she recognized the little blue symbol on one of the shirts. They were paramedics. Her eyes darted around to find Nathan, and she became panicked when she didn't see him right away.

She heard a high pitched whistle coming from one of their machines: a blood pressure monitor. "She's in shock," a man's voice replied.

Another voice said, "Calm down; you're all right. You just had a little fainting spell. You're all right."

Kristin did calm down, especially since her body felt too weak to struggle. "Ma'am." A woman's smiling face appeared above her with ocean blue eyes and blonde hair to her shoulders. "According to our monitors, your breathing is normal. We're going to remove the oxygen, but you tell us if you have trouble breathing again, all right?"

Kristin gave a small nod as gentle hands removed the mask. "Nathan?" she said weakly.

"He's outside making a phone call. He'll be right back," the woman explained. "By the way, I'm Molly." She then proceeded to give Kristin an examination to ensure she wasn't going to have another fainting spell. "Well, you seem to be doing better, but how do you feel?"

"Exhausted," she replied hoarsely.

Molly nodded. "That's to be expected. You're going to want to rest the rest of the day and follow up with your regular doctor if the symptoms persist. Your friend tells me you've had a few fainting spells this week already?"

She nodded as Molly helped her to sit up. "But my doctor…he's…"

Molly waved a hand. "Oh, your friend has already explained it to me. Just make sure you follow up with him."

"I'll see to that," Nathan said as he approached them, kneeling at Kristin's side.

"Nathan," she breathed. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Ssh," he whispered, gently stroking her hair.

"Well," Molly said, ushering the other paramedics out. "I see you're in good hands. Take care of yourself now."

Once they exited, Nathan turned back to her. "What do you say we go back to the hotel now?"

"But…the letter…"

He shook his head. "I think we've had enough excitement for one day. We'll come back when you're feeling better." He paused and eyed her. "Can you walk or would you rather I carry you?"

Kristin leaned her head against his chest. "Carry me, please?"

He nodded and effortlessly lifted her into his arms.

Her arms circled around his neck as she laid her head on his shoulder. She wanted to tell him what had happened, what Jack had told her, but as he opened the car door and helped her inside, she was too tired to speak. It would have to wait.

As Nathan slid into the seat next to her and pulled the car out of the parking lot, she heard him whisper, "Just rest, sweetheart."

She gave a silent nod. "I'm glad…you were here…" she muttered before falling into a restful sleep.


	47. But Not If You Go With Me

**December 10, 2019**

Kristin's eyes fluttered open and for a moment, she couldn't quite remember how in the world she'd gotten back into her hotel room. But then, vague memories of what had happened flittered through her mind.

She saw brief glimpses of Nathan, Joshua, Katie, and even Lucas, all of them worried for her. Joshua had examined her, taken her temperature. Katie had sat with her, helped her into a nightgown. Lucas had held her hand and kissed her on the cheek. And Nathan...he and Joshua had worked relentlessly through the night, trying to keep her fever down. She glanced towards the bedside table. A bowl of water and a washcloth lay there: proof that it wasn't a dream.

Then out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nathan, asleep in the chair in the corner of the room. She let out a soft sigh as a smile touched her lips. As the sun came filtering in through the blinds, she guessed it was early morning. Even though it was likely she'd slept through most of the night, she was still quite exhausted.

She lay back on her pillows and took a deep breath, thinking about her encounter with Lillian Strathairn. Although she could remember very little about it, she could remember how she'd felt, both before and after. Right before it happened, she remembered feeling so cold and terribly frightened, though at the time, she couldn't understand why. And after everything, she remembered feeling so tired, even days later. She couldn't shake the headache and the nausea, and the fear she'd felt stayed with her for several days after that, though she didn't tell anyone.

At the time, she chalked it up to the aftereffects of nitrogen narcosis, but she knew even then that it was nothing of the sort. She knew what she had experienced was a completely different kettle of fish, though she had been too stubborn to admit it then. But now that it was happening all over again, she couldn't blame it on nitrogen narcosis or any other diving accident. Not only that, the fact she seemed to be getting worse each time she experienced a paranormal entity was very worrying for her. She couldn't help but wonder if it was doing her any harm.

As if on cue, the door suddenly opened, and Joshua appeared. "Ah, glad to see you're awake," he said with a smile as he walked towards the bed.

"Awake, but not exactly alert," she admitted. She lifted a hand to her head. "I'm still so tired."

He gave a nod and laid a hand on her forehead to feel her temperature. "Well, I'm not surprised. Your body's been through a lot, and you're still recuperating." He placed his stethoscope in his ears and proceeded to listen to her breathing along with her heart and lungs. When he was finished, he took out the thermometer. "Open up."

She obediently did so, but she couldn't wait until he was finished since she had so much to talk to him about.

"Ninety-seven point six. A little low, but not abnormal. Do you feel cold?"

She shook her head. "Not uncomfortably so," she replied. "Can I talk to you, though?"

He put the thermometer and stethoscope back in his bag and turned to her. "Of course. What is it?"

She sighed. "Why do I…keep ending up like this?" She motioned towards the bed. "This is exactly how I felt after Lillian, and-"

His brow furrowed. "You remember what happened with Lillian?"

"Not directly," she said with a shake of her head, "but I remember how I felt, even days after that." She looked down. "I didn't feel physically well."

He nodded. "Well, that's not out of the ordinary. With such experiences, it takes a physical toll on the body. I'm going to assume you saw one of them again?"

She gave a nod, though she didn't volunteer any more than that yet. "So that would explain why I feel like death warmed over. How long will it be before I feel normal again?"

"You know I can't answer that. All I can tell you is to stay in bed, get some rest, and you'll hopefully feel better tomorrow."

She didn't say anything. Instead, she looked back towards Nathan.

He followed her gaze. "He hasn't left your side, you know. He's been here all night; fell asleep around three this morning."

"I am…very grateful that I have such caring friends," she said quietly, averting her gaze.

Joshua gave her shoulder a squeeze. "We're happy to do it." He paused and eyed her. "Are you…okay?"

She looked up at him and gave a shrug. "I'm not sure." She sighed. "Is it…harmful? Every time I'm pulled into their world, I end up like this. Are there any long-term side effects I need to worry about?"

He hesitated. "If you're asking me if Sylvia is intentionally trying to cause you any harm, no, of course not."

"But that's not what I-"

Joshua placed a halting hand on her arm and continued, "But if you're asking me if this could physically harm you… Well, potentially, yes."

She inhaled sharply.

"Now you need to understand, normally, there's not much to worry about. Spirits will feed off one's life force, the way Lillian did with you. She borrowed your body for a while, and you did have some physical effects from that, but she never had any malicious intentions towards you."

"Yes, but Lillian wasn't with me very long," Kristin replied. "But Sylvia, Jack…and Frank Knox, on the other hand…"

Joshua raised an eyebrow. "Jack? It was Jack this time?"

She nodded.

Several minutes of silence followed. "I can't give you a yes or no answer on this," Joshua finally said. "Repetitive exposure to paranormal entities is very draining, both physically and mentally. As far as Jack and Sylvia, I am sure they know their limits."

"And Frank Knox?"

Joshua frowned. "We just-"

"I thought I heard your voice," Nathan said, letting out a yawn and walking over to the bed. He placed a hand on her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

"Well, I-"

"I've checked all her vitals," Joshua interrupted. "She's doing much better, though I'd like her to stay in bed as much as possible today."

"I'll make sure of that," Nathan said with a nod.

"I'm sure you will," Joshua replied.

Kristin let out a frustrated groan. "Are you two going to keep talking about me as though I'm not even here?"

Both men turned to her. "Kristin, we didn't mean to… Sorry," Nathan said sheepishly. "I just meant I'll be here for anything you need."

She sighed. "Yes, I know, and I appreciate that, but I do have something important to talk to both of you about."

Just then, Lucas walked in through the adjoining door, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "I thought I heard the doc." He walked over to her and gave her a hug. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm happy to see you," she said, returning the hug, "but I am a bit annoyed with all these interruptions." She turned towards the door and said loudly, "Now if anyone else happens to be listening, don't dally around. The door's open."

Everyone looked towards the door, but no one entered.

Lucas shrugged and walked towards the door to open it. He stepped aside so Kristin could see there was no one there. "Looks like you have the floor, Doc," he said as he closed the door again and moved to sit at the foot of the bed.

"Thank you," she said before taking a deep breath. "I wanted to speak to you about Jack. Apparently, he's been watching from a distance, and he decided to finally make his presence known in an effort to help me."

"Oh, how kind of him," Lucas said flatly.

Nathan placed a warning hand on his shoulder, but Kristin shook her head. "I said the same exact thing…along with a few _other_ things as well. I wasn't too happy with him."

"So things didn't go well between you two?" Nathan asked worriedly, sitting down next to her on the bed.

She placed her hand over his. "No, they did. We just had a few words first, but apparently, it's not entirely my fault. I'm still under the influence of Sylvia, so I still…feel some of her feelings. That would explain some of the mood swings, but once he and I actually began speaking, he was very open and honest about what's really going on."

"And?" Joshua pressed.

"And we were on the right track with the letter," she replied. "He didn't say exactly how it will solve the murder, but he promised that it would."

"And then everything will go back the way it was?" Nathan asked.

She hesitated. "Not exactly." She shook her head. "As much as I wish it were that cut and dry, he said there are some things that need to be done first."

Nathan exchanged a glance with Joshua before asking, "And that is…?"

She shrugged. "That's where it gets a little hazy. I had to come back before he could tell me anymore, but before I did leave, he told me it was about forgiveness, that it wasn't just about Sylvia's spiritual journey, that it was about mine as well, and that there are lessons to be learned for all of us." She exchanged a brief glance with each one of them. "I was hoping perhaps you might be able to shed some light on this," she said, looking towards Joshua.

Joshua opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, Lucas piped up. "Maybe you need to forgive Frank Knox?"

Everyone turned to look at him.

"When we were on the _George_ and I spoke to Captain Wideman, I suggested he ask Lillian for forgiveness," he explained.

"Lucas has a point," Joshua agreed. "When souls can't cross over, it's because of they have unfinished business, unresolved feelings. Guilt would definitely be something that might prevent that."

Kristin shook her head. "Frank Knox doesn't act as though he's riddled with guilt."

Joshua shrugged. "Neither did Captain Wideman at first, not until we spoke to him."

"But there's a difference between Wideman and Knox," Nathan pointed out. "Captain Wideman knew he needed to be forgiven. He told Lucas that. But Knox has never volunteered the same thing." He nodded his head towards Kristin. "He seems more intent on toying with _her_ rather than forgiveness."

"Well, be that as it may, it's worth a shot." He looked at Kristin. "That is, as long as you agree."

She thought for a moment. "What exactly would it entail?"

"Ideally, another hypnosis," Joshua said simply. "You could wait for him to come around again, but who knows when that will be? Not only that, considering the nature of this beast, I think it's best we keep encounters with him in a controlled environment: hypnosis."

Nathan shook his head. "Hasn't she been through enough already? And with what happened during the last hypnosis…"

"I can understand your concerns, but-" Joshua began.

"Nathan, if we don't, Jack already confirmed Knox won't stop," Kristin said quietly. She then took a deep breath. "No, I am not exactly excited for it, but if it will help…" She gave a shrug. "I don't see any other option."

Nathan frowned. "I don't like the idea of putting you into any more danger."

"Of course, we'd wait until she's feeling better," Joshua replied. "Well, feeling as physical well as she can be under the circumstances, that is." He placed a hand on Nathan's shoulder. "We won't do anything that she doesn't want to do; it really needs to be her decision, but I really don't see any other solution." He looked at Kristin and then at Nathan. "Look, maybe we should let you two talk?" He put a hand on Kristin's shoulder. "Get some rest, and I'll come back later to check on you. We can talk about this more then." He then nodded his head towards Lucas, then towards the door.

"Oh, yeah," Lucas said, getting the hint. "I, uh…I need to go call my dad and find out when he's coming by later." He stood and moved to Kristin's side, giving her a peck on the cheek. "Feel better, okay?"

"I'll try," she told him as he and Joshua left the room.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once they were alone, Kristin turned to Nathan. "I know you don't like the idea, but as we said, there doesn't seem to be any other option. I'm going to have to face Frank Knox sooner or later." She paused as her eyebrows knitted together. "Maybe that's what Jack meant when he said it was about my spiritual journey as well. Maybe it's about facing my past fears…"

Nathan sighed. "Perhaps, but maybe we could just forget about that for the moment." He leaned forward and brushed a hand through her hair. "You're still looking pale. You feeling all right?"

She held up a hand. "I feel better than I did at the museum. I'm just tired and a little hungry."

"Well, we'll get you something to eat," he replied, picking up a room service menu off the table in the middle of the room. "What are you hungry for?"

She paused. "Nathan, I…I want to thank you for taking care of me. After the way I acted…after our argument…"

Nathan set the menu back down, shaking his head. "Kristin, you don't need to thank me at all. It was…I'd do it for you or any other member of my crew, no questions asked." He sighed. "Besides, it takes two to tango, if you know what I mean. It was my fault. I shouldn't have tried to push you…"

She smiled softly. "Two to tango, remember?"

"Okay, fine, I'll give you ten percent of the credit," he quipped.

She let out a small laugh, and he joined in.

"What do you say we get you something to eat, hm?" Nathan suggested. "Then we could talk a bit more if you'd like."

"Sounds lovely," she replied.

He passed her the menu. "What do you feel like?"

She shrugged as she looked through it. "I honestly don't care. I'm starving, but I want something easy on my stomach in case…"

"Chicken soup?"

She laughed. "For breakfast? That does sound good, though." She gave a shrug. "Maybe later, but perhaps some toast would be-"

"No, if you want chicken soup, then you should have it."

She glanced at the clock. "At nine o'clock in the morning?"

"Who the hell cares? You're ill, and chicken soup is good for you. They've proven it, haven't they?"

"That's for _colds_. I'm not really sure what food is best for paranormal experiences."

Nathan didn't answer her. He was already calling room service and ordering two bowls of chicken noodle soup and tea.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

A short time later, the meal arrived. Nathan rolled the cart over to the bed. "Dinner is served, madam," he said with a bow.

She laughed softly. "I can't believe you got them to make us chicken soup. That was very sweet of you."

"It was no trouble."

The two quietly indulged in their meals. Although Kristin couldn't quite finish her entire meal, she ate a good amount of it.

"I don't think I could eat another bite," she finally said. "Perhaps you were right, though. Maybe chicken soup is the right food to eat for the effects of paranormal activity. I feel better already."

Nathan smiled as he moved the tray away and set it back on the cart. "You're not just saying that?"

She shook her head. "Not at all. I really do feel better."

He brought a hand to her cheek. "Well, a bit of color has come back to your cheeks."

She gave a slight nod and stifled a yawn. "I'm still so tired, though."

"Then you should sleep."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm not so anxious to do that yet. I never know if it will be a lucrative sleep or if the spirits have other plans."

Nathan sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. "Would it help if I stayed with you until you fell asleep?" He held up his hands. "But if you feel uncomfortable…"

She shook her head and wrung her hands together. "I…I haven't been very fair to you, and I think we need to have a little talk."

"Kristin, no, you don't need…" His brow furrowed. "We can do that another time when you're feeling better. I'm not sure now's the best time."

"Look, I know you're trying to take the blame for our…problems lately, but I can't let you do that. Even though I'm going through quite a lot, that still is no excuse for what I've done to you."

"Done to me?" Nathan said. "Kristin, you…you haven't-"

She placed a hand over his. "Please, just listen," she urged gently. She paused and took a deep breath. "We've always been able to talk to one another about anything. That's what I've always valued about our friendship, and I want you to know I appreciate you more than you know, but I haven't been a very good friend to _you_. You see, I was worried about being a burden, causing you pain, so I thought it would be better if I stopped telling you what was really going on… That's why I thought I had to push you away, and I didn't really realize that was hurting you even more. As angry as I was at him, Jack told me I couldn't, that I shouldn't do that. And after some thought, I've decided he's right." She looked into his eyes, placing a hand to his cheek. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Nathan wrapped her in his arms. "Oh, sweetheart, of course I will. I…I could never stay angry with you."

"I didn't…" She took a ragged breath, nearly in tears. "It's just that every time you touched me, even though I knew in my heart you'd never hurt me, I…" She buried her face in his chest and let out a soft sob. "I kept seeing Frank Knox, and…and…"

"Shh," Nathan soothed, gently rocking her. "It's all right. You don't need to explain. It's all right. It's in the past. There's no reason to be sorry."

A few moments later, the tears had passed. She pulled him closer to her, if it were possible. "I…I can't promise anything more than friendship at the moment, but I…I promise I won't push you away. I…I'm asking you...begging you, actually...please, don't give up on me."

Nathan pulled away to look at her. "Now what in the world makes you think I'd do that?"

She gave a small shrug. "After everything I've put you through…" Her voice began to tremble again as she bowed her head. "I know this isn't exactly what you signed up for. After Carol and Robert…"

He placed a hand under her chin and lifted it up gently. "Kristin, I have loved you from the minute I saw you giving Commander Ford a tongue lashing. We've been through many ups and downs throughout this tour, and I'm not about to walk away now. Even if we're never more than friends, I'm okay with that." He took his thumb and brushed away a stray tear from her cheek. "So no more apologies and no more tears, okay? We've both made some mistakes, but that's all right. We'll just learn from them and move forward. Agreed?"

She gave a nod and allowed him to pull her into a hug again.

Nathan changed his position so that they were both lying down; he stroked her hair gently as he continued to try to ease her mind. "Just close your eyes and rest."

She snuggled into him, resting her head on his chest. "Promise you'll stay with me."

"Whatever you want," Nathan told her, letting out a yawn himself. "I promise I won't leave you."


	48. And I Don't Need A Pill To Make Me Numb

Nathan awoke after a pleasant nap. He breathed a contented sigh. Kristin apparently had slept just as well since he'd never heard her make a sound, so he decided that was a good thing. He rolled over and put his arm out to pull her closer to him, only to find the place next to him empty and cold.

He sat up with a start, searching the room for her. "Kristin?" _No answer._ "Kristin?" he called a bit louder, panic setting in. He looked towards the bathroom. The door was open, but if she'd gotten sick… He quickly got out of bed and paused at the door frame. He knocked gently. "Kristin, are you in there?"

When he still received no answer, he risked a peek around the corner, only to find the room empty. He sighed in frustration and leaned up against the door frame. Where in the world could she be? As he stood there for a few moments thinking, he heard something he didn't expect: a woman's laugh. It didn't sound like Kristin or Katie. He listened intently, waiting to see if he'd hear it again.

He heard soft murmurs, realizing they were coming from his room. He looked towards the adjoining door. It was closed. His eyebrows knitted together. Had he closed it before he and Kristin fell asleep? He couldn't remember as he made his way towards it, listening outside the door. He heard the laugh again. Were Lucas and Veronica…? Nathan shook his head. He didn't think Lucas would try anything with him in the next room.

"…and he said it was about forgiveness."

That was Kristin. Nathan breathed a sigh of relief and turned the door handle. As the door opened, everyone -which consisted of Joshua, Bill Noyce, and Doctor McEnery- turned to look at him. Nathan did a double-take. Doctor McEnery was here in person? When had that happened? He then eyed Kristin, who was sitting on the end of Lucas' bed. She looked as though she hadn't slept at all. Her pale skin made the dark circles under her eyes look even more pronounced. He sighed, realizing she must not have slept as well as he'd hoped.

Joshua, who had been sitting at the table near Kristin, moved to stand next to him. "I'm sorry; I hope we didn't wake you."

"No, not at all," Nathan said with a shake of his head. "What exactly is going on, though?"

"I'm sorry, that's my fault," Kimberly said; she'd been sitting across from Joshua, but she walked towards Nathan and extending her hand. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person by the way." She let out a sigh. "Since talking to Kristin the other day, I realized how intrigued I was by her case. I couldn't get it out of my mind, honestly, so I pulled some strings, took some time off, and showed up outside Joshua's room just a little while ago. He had no idea I was coming, so it was a bit of a surprise. I'm only here for a few days, but I'd like to help her."

"And I was here to visit the doctor," Bill added from the chair in the corner near Nathan's bed. "But Doctor Levin saw me in the hallway and caught me up to speed."

Kristin, who had been looking down at her hands folded on her lap while Kimberly had been speaking, finally looked up to meet Nathan's gaze. She gave him an apologetic look and mouthed, "I'm sorry."

Nathan gave her a smile and a nod to show her it wasn't a problem and moved to sit behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. As he did so, he noticed she was trembling. He leaned close to her ear and was about to ask what the problem was when Kimberly interrupted.

"Well, now that you're here, Captain, let me fill you in. I assume you know about what she recently found out in speaking to Jack?"

"About forgiveness and lessons?" Nathan gave a nod and gently massaged Kristin's shoulders in an effort to calm her, and he felt satisfied when he felt her lean back against his chest and relax a bit. "And we guessed the forgiveness was pertaining to Frank Knox."

"Yes, that's one way to go, but I was thinking there might be more than that," she replied.

"But I don't think I _know_ anyone else who needs to be forgiven," Kristin protested with a shake of her head.

"You're sure about that?" Kimberly moved to sit in the chair across from her. "You mean after everything, you don't have even a small hint of anger towards Sylvia?"

"Of course not. Yes, I've been a little frustrated with her, but I also know it's not her fault."

Kimberly thought about this for a moment. She took a small notepad and pen out of her pocket and wrote something down. "You said Jack was completely open and honest before that?"

"More forthcoming than Sylvia, yes," Kristin replied. "He told me what he could remember."

"What changed?" Joshua asked, taking a seat once again.

Kristin raised an eyebrow at him. "Excuse me?"

Kimberly let out a sigh. "Why would Jack be specific about every detail except that one? That's what he meant."

Joshua nodded.

"Oh…" Kristin said. "Well, I'm not sure what exactly was going on, but the sky turned dark, as though it were going to storm. I suspect it wasn't anything good because Jack cursed and then told me I had to go."

Kimberly snapped her fingers. "Another piece of the puzzle."

"What? But I don't-" Kristin began.

"You said Jack was from the other realm of Heaven, right?"

"Well, he never said that directly, but I assumed. That's what Sylvia had told me anyway."

"So he didn't mention how exactly he was able to meet with you?" Kimberly frowned. "No, of course he didn't. You two only had a short time together." She took a few more notes. "I can only base this on other cases I've dealt with, but I am assuming that Jack pulled some strings with…" She paused. "I'm not sure of your religious beliefs or if you have any at all, but let's just say a Higher Power?"

Kristin nodded.

"Right," Kimberly said with a smile. "Well, the sky darkening was probably a sign from the Higher Power that his time was up. And that just confirms the fact that there might be more than one soul that needs to be forgiven."

"How so?" Nathan asked.

"Well, if Jack was pressed for time, it stands to reason why he would have been vague. However, if Frank Knox was the only soul who needed forgiveness, why couldn't he say it?" Kimberly shook her head. "You know as well as I that saying, "Frank Knox needs to be forgiven," wouldn't have taken that much extra time."

"That doesn't make sense," Kristin muttered after a moment. She let out a sigh. "I can't think of anyone else."

"Well," Joshua said, "there is Admiral Beatty."

Kristin sighed. "I suppose, but I haven't seen him since… I only saw him once."

"But if he was involved in the murder, then it's possible," Kimberly replied, once again writing something down. She then looked up. "Can you think of anyone else?"

Kristin shook her head. "No, I really can't."

Kimberly reached forward and placed a hand over hers. "That's all right. Maybe we'll figure out someone else later." She folded her hands in front of her. "Now comes the hard part: how we're going to deal with this. Joshua's told me what he suggested. Is that what you think you'd like to do?"

"You mean I have a choice?"

"Of course you do," Kimberly said with a light laugh. "No one's going to force you to do anything you don't want. You're the one in control."

"But if I don't…" Kristin hesitated. "That means your trip was for nothing."

"Oh, I wouldn't say it was for nothing." She smiled warmly. "And I don't want you to worry about that at all. You do what you want."

"Could…could I think about it?"

"Oh, of course; we have time. Besides, I think Joshua wanted to speak with you privately anyway?"

Joshua gave a nod.

"And I need to speak to you and Nathan as well," Bill piped up.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you alone then," Kimberly replied. She then wrote something down on her notepad, ripped the sheet off, and handed it to Kristin. "This is my room number in case you need to talk…about anything."

"Thank you," Kristin replied.

"You're quite welcome, dear." She then turned to Joshua. "I'll see you later?"

"Later," he confirmed. "Thanks, Kim."

"Anytime."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once Kimberly had left, Nathan turned to Kristin. "Didn't you sleep at all?"

Kristin opened her mouth to speak, but Joshua answered for her. "Of course she did. Please don't think we barged in her room and woke her up."

"I was already awake," she answered weakly. "I had some trouble sleeping."

"You should have woken me," Nathan told her.

"That's actually what I wanted to speak to you about," Joshua continued. "I know you haven't made a decision about whether or not you want to try another hypnosis, but as I said, we can't do that until you're feeling physically better. And I know Kimberly feels the same way."

"I've been resting. I just…"

"I know," Joshua told her. "I wasn't blaming you at all." He handed her a bottle and looked at Nathan. "Just sleeping pills, I swear." He turned back to Kristin. "I'm not telling you that you have to take them. I'm leaving it up to you. I just thought it might help you get some sleep. You look like you need it."

Kristin simply nodded, not saying anything more.

Joshua then looked towards the admiral. "Well, I guess I have nothing further. You know where to find me if you need." He gave Kristin's shoulder a squeeze.

She gave a quiet nod, examining the label on the bottle.

"Thank you, Joshua," Nathan said before Joshua left the room.

A few minutes passed before the admiral moved to sit at the table. He let out a long, heavy sigh as he eyed Kristin. "I suppose you know what I'm here for."

Nathan felt her stiffen and begin to tremble slightly once again. "I had a feeling."

"Yes, well, I am not going to sugarcoat anything…"

"And I wouldn't expect you to," she said.

Bill folded his hands on the table in front of him. "Bottom line, the repairs on the _seaQuest_ are already finished. I am not going to keep her out of the water much longer."

"The crew expected to be here all week," Nathan protested.

"I know, but the brass is already getting impatient. They're asking questions I can't exactly answer. I've bought you a few days by telling them the boat still needs a few improvements, but they want _seaQuest_ wet again by Thursday. I can't stall them any longer than that." He paused and looked at Kristin. "Doctor, if you're not feeling better by then-"

She nodded, holding up a hand. "I'll lose my position."

"I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen, but I'm not exactly sure what I'll tell them."

"You tell them she's sick. They can't fire her for that," Nathan said.

"No, but if they ask questions I don't have the answers to…"

Kristin placed a hand on Nathan's chest. "The admiral's right. We obviously can't tell them exactly what happened." She gave a shrug. "There's nothing that can be done." She stood and let out a sigh as she placed a hand on the admiral's shoulder. "I do appreciate everything you've done, but could I ask you for one more thing?"

He gave a nod.

"If I don't…" She took a breath. "If I'm not with the rest of the crew on Thursday, I ask that you allow me to step down."

"I think we can arrange that," Bill replied, "though I'll be sorry to see you go."

"That means a lot to hear you say that. Um, if you'll excuse me, though, I think I should go lie down."

"Kristin, wait," Nathan called, but she didn't listen.

He sighed and turned back to the admiral. "Three days? Really?"

"Nathan, you know the world's peace is too fragile for more time than that. The _seaQuest_ has already been out of commission for nearly two weeks. It's time."

"Well, Commander Ford can take over command temporarily then."

"What?"

"If my CMO is not well enough to perform her duties, I will not be leaving her," Nathan explained. "Surely the brass can grant the captain a few more days off."

Bill shook his head. "You seem to forget that if she's not well enough by Thursday, she'll no longer _be_ your CMO."

"Well, maybe after Thursday, I'll no longer be the captain," Nathan replied.

"Nathan, you don't mean that! Think about what you're doing."

Nathan pointed towards the other room. "Did you happen to see her?"

"Of course I did, and of course, I can see she's not well, but-"

Nathan shook his head. "You haven't watched her the way I have, how she's literally deteriorated before my eyes. I don't know how she hasn't completely fallen apart, but the only thing I can think of is that she's not alone. We…the whole crew…have all been with her, been there to comfort her, support her. If you take us away, I'm not sure what will happen to her. And I'm not about to let her go now."

Bill was quiet for a moment. "You're absolutely sure about this?"

"Do you think that's something I'd joke about? It's not the first time I've threatened to leave command, you know."

"Well, I'm not sure what the brass will say, but I can't say I don't respect your decision. I'll always support you if I think what you're doing is right."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "So you do think it would be the right thing?"

"As your superior, hell no. I'd be sad to see you go. But as your friend, I'd understand. I just want you to be happy." He nodded towards the adjoining door. "And whether she believes it or not, I want that for her too."

"She still thinks you hate her because of those torpedoes."

Bill laughed slightly. "Well, please tell her otherwise. That's water under the bridge now." He then lowered his voice. "Besides, I could never hate the woman who makes my best friend's eyes light up like that."

Nathan's eyebrows knitted together. "I…"

"I'm not as oblivious as you think I am." Bill sighed. "Well, I am hoping this will be resolved…in everyone's best interest."

"I hope so too," Nathan replied quietly.

Bill put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Go to her…and please tell her what I said."

"I will."

"We'll be in touch," Bill said as he moved towards the door.

"Oh, Bill?"

"Yes?"

"What sort of improvements did you tell the brass that the boat needed? Aren't they going to get suspicious?"

The admiral let out a light laugh. "No, I have actually compiled a list for the crew at the boatyard. Just don't be surprised if you find new wallpaper in the galley…and you always said you wanted your quarters painted pink, didn't you?" He gave Nathan a wink and then turned to leave.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan gently knocked on the adjoining door and waited a moment for Kristin to answer. When she didn't, he wondered if she was asleep, but then he heard her crying softly. Nathan turned the doorknob and opened the door. "Kristin?"

"I can't let you do it," she replied through tears. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

"What?"

"I overheard," she said, motioning towards the door. "I wasn't trying to eavesdrop. I just… You were shouting." She took a ragged breath. "I'm not going to let you sacrifice your position for me."

Nathan moved to sit next to her. "Kristin, I'm not going to leave you. If you can't-"

She shook her head. "My mind's already been made up."

"What do you mean?"

"The hypnosis. I have to do it. If I don't…the risks are too great."

"But if you're not well enough…" Nathan put his arms around her. "You're trembling again," he noted. "What's wrong?"

She shrugged, laying her head on his shoulder.

Nathan rubbed her back for a few minutes. "Why didn't you wake me before?"

"Because you needed your sleep too. You'd already been up half the night because of me."

"That doesn't matter to me," Nathan told her. "If you had needed me…" He thought for a minute. "Did you have another nightmare?"

She shook her head.

"Then why are you…" He sighed. "Kris, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just… I should probably try to get some sleep. I'm tired."

Nathan pulled back to look at her. "Kristin, you know you're a terrible liar."

"I'm not lying. I'm exhausted," she told him.

He raised an eyebrow. "And you also told me you were going to be honest with me."

She lowered her eyes to the floor, wringing her hands together, but not giving any sort of reply.

"Fine…if that's how you want it, I'll leave you alone so you can get some sleep. I'll see you later." He turned to leave, but she stopped him.

"W-wait…please?"

Nathan turned back to her, giving her an expectant look.

"I don't… Please don't leave me," she said, her voice quiet. She shook her head. "I don't want to be alone." She let out a shaky breath. "E-every time I'm alone…" She looked into his eyes. "Please, just don't leave me alone."

Nathan sighed. "I don't want to leave you, but _you're_ the one not letting me in."

"I…I know," she replied, her voice quivering. "It's my fault. It's all my fault." She shook her head. "I probably deserve everything that's happening now."

"What?" Nathan moved to sit back down next to her. "Kristin, what are you saying?"

"Nathan, don't you see? Everything that's happened: the dive, the chest, finding Sylvia, going back in time…" She motioned to herself. "All of this…it's all my fault. And I've hurt you and Lucas and every other member of the crew. I should have never opened that chest in the first place." She turned to look at him, her eyes glistening with tears. "And I hate seeing that look on your face…all your faces: that look of pain. I've caused that pain, and I…I never intended... I never wanted to hurt you or anyone. And…and after everything… I've come to depend on you, on every one of you." She paused as she let out a quiet sob. "You were right when you told Bill that I haven't fallen apart yet…because I've had all of you. But if you all leave…" She buried her head in her hands, sobbing quietly. "I can't do this alone, but I've hurt all of you so much, I just don't understand how you can't abandon me now. You should all be running away…"

Whatever she said after that, Nathan couldn't decipher since her sobbing became more violent. And this is when Nathan finally had a realization. There was someone else who needed her forgiveness: Kristin herself.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

He didn't urge her to stop crying. He simply pulled her into his arms and gently stroked her hair. She wasn't going to be able to listen to anything he had to say until she had calmed down. And sure enough, several minutes later, she began to quiet.

"How…" she began, her voice thick. "How can you still be here? I've already told you you should run. I'm afraid if you stay, I'll hurt you even more."

Nathan sighed. "How can you think that?"

She shrugged. "Just look at what I've done already. After you fell asleep, I did a lot of thinking…and I realized…" She took yet another shaky breath. "If this is all about lessons for everyone, maybe that's my lesson? And if…if I do lose my position, maybe I deserve that."

Nathan finally pulled away so he could look at her. "Kristin, we all wanted to know what was in that chest as much as you did. And we all wanted to help with the reef dive."

"But we had more than enough specimens. I…I should have made Ben leave that chest where it was." She lowered her gaze. "No one is to blame but me. I couldn't even take some time off to relax when we had a few days in Pearl to begin with."

Nathan lifted her chin gently. "Okay, fine, let's have it your way. Let's say you are to blame for all of this. But riddle me this. Let's say you hadn't organized the reef dive. Let's say we never found the chest that day. Don't you think, though, that Sylvia might have found some other way to get us to find her?"

Kristin shrugged. "I don't really know."

"Oh, I think you do." He shook his head. "This isn't your fault. No one blames you at all."

"Well, maybe they should."

"Why would you want that?"

"Because I feel guilty. I've ruined everything."

"Did you hear everything the admiral said?"

She shook her head. "But I suppose he's not too happy with me now, especially since he might need to find a new CMO at the end of tour."

"Quite the contrary. He told me to tell you a few things. Would you like to hear them?"

"I'm not..."

Nathan sighed. "I'm going to tell you anyway. He wants you to know that he doesn't hate you, so you need to put that idea out of your head. And he truly hopes everything works out for you. He doesn't want to see you this way."

She lowered her gaze once again. "Well, be that as it may, I'm not sure I can give him what he wants."

Nathan pulled her into his arms again. "It wasn't meant to hurt you."

She simply shrugged again.

Nathan rubbed her back gently. "I think Kimberly was right, you know? And I think the first person you need to forgive is yourself."

"But I-"

"How long have you felt this way?"

She didn't reply.

"Would you at least talk to Kimberly about this later? I think she can help you."

She gave a slight nod. "But after I sleep…please? Will you stay with me?"

"Of course. Do you want one of the sleeping pills?"

She shook her head. "I don't think I need one."

Nathan lay down and she snuggled in next to him. He placed a kiss to her temple. "Just get some sleep. I won't leave you. Don't worry."

She muttered a, "Thank you," and closed her eyes.

Five minutes later, he heard her breathing pattern change, knowing she'd fallen asleep. Nathan continued to rub her back, hoping that she'd at least feel a little better when she awoke.


	49. And I Wrote The Book On Runnin'

As Nathan lay there with Kristin in his arms, his thoughts drifted back to what Kimberly had said. Although she seemed eager to help Kristin, Nathan couldn't help but wonder why she'd come all this way only to have Kristin refuse hypnosis. Well, obviously, Kristin hadn't said she was going to refuse it yet. In fact, she seemed like she was going to agree to it, but she hadn't quite realized she had a choice. Now that she knew that, she could change her mind. But if she did, then Kimberly's trip would seemingly be for nothing. He shook his head. No, something seemed off.

Oh, he didn't think Kimberly was intentionally trying to deceive them. He was sure she genuinely wanted to help Kristin, but he also felt that it was possible there was some detail she wasn't divulging. It was probably the fact she didn't want to add another burden to Kristin's long list of worries, and he couldn't say he didn't understand that. Still, if there was something else, he wanted to know. He wanted to know exactly what they were up against.

He looked down at Kristin and brushed the hair out of her face. She didn't stir at all; he was relieved about that. He hoped that she'd at least sleep long enough to feel better. He hated to leave her, but he would only be gone a little while. But if she awoke and found he wasn't there…

No, he couldn't do that to her. He wasn't quite sure about everything going through her head, but she had seemed very adamant over the fact she didn't want to be alone. Lucas was still out, so that was out of the question. But what about one of the other crew members?

Katie's room was right next door, though she'd been up half the night with them as well. He'd sent her to her own room around two that morning, despite her protesting. She was just as concerned as the rest of them, and he hated to wake her. But considering it was now afternoon, it was probably likely she'd slept…or at least slept enough. And Katie had said to let her know if they needed anything.

He gently moved Kristin off of him, being careful not to wake her. To his relief, she made no sound whatsoever, save for her soft, rhythmic breathing. He quietly put on his shoes and made his way out the door, holding the door until it shut with a soft click.

He then walked the short distance to Katie's room and knocked gently. He silently hoped she was there. He looked down the long hall and really didn't fancy knocking on every single door in search of someone to stay with Kristin until he got back. After a few moments without an answer, he knocked again a bit louder. This time, the door opened as Katie greeted him with a warm smile. She didn't look as though she'd been sleeping, so he was glad to know he didn't wake her.

"Captain, what a surprise." She craned her neck in an attempt to see over his shoulder, and her smile faded. "I was hoping the doctor would be with you. After last night… How is she?"

Nathan hesitated. "Her fever's gone at least, but other than that…not much change."

"Oh..."

"That's why I'm here," he continued. "She's actually asleep, but I don't want to leave her alone. And I wanted to-"

"You don't need to explain. You want me to stay with her?" she said with a wave of her hand.

"As long as it's not too much trouble. I don't think I'll be very long, but if she wakes up-"

Katie stepped out into the hallway, shutting her door behind her. "I didn't have any plans anyway." She nodded her head towards Ben's room. "Besides, the guys are out doing…well, whatever men do when they're together…something about a ski ball contest. They invited me along, but… Well, I was tired."

Nathan put an arm around her shoulder. "You did get some sleep, though?"

"Of course; you don't need to worry about that. I got more sleep than I would on the _seaQuest_ ," she told him as Nathan slid the keycard through the lock on Kristin's door.

"Well, I'm glad to hear it," Nathan said, lowering his voice so as not to wake Kristin. He moved towards the bed to check on her, tucking the comforter in around her. He then noticed Katie eyeing him carefully. He then stepped back and cleared his throat. "Uh, as I said, I won't be long."

"I'm sure everything will be fine. She's in capable hands."

He gave her a nod. "Thanks for doing this."

"No problem, sir."

He then picked up the piece of paper off the bedside table: the one that Kimberly had written her room number on. Room 402 was only on the floor beneath them. He put the piece of paper back down and turned to Katie. "I'll be back shortly," he said as he left the room.

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As the elevator was making its descent to the fourth floor, he did hope that Doctor McEnery would be in her room. He suddenly wondered if he should have called to her room first, but it was too late for that now. As the elevator moved to a halt, he stepped out and quickly made his way down to her room, the last door on the left. He hesitated for a brief second, took a deep breath, and then knocked.

A brief moment later, the door opened. "Captain Bridger? Uh, hello." She stepped aside. "Come in, please." She motioned for him to sit on the sofa.

As Nathan did so, he said, "I suppose you're wondering why I'm here."

"Actually, I'm not."

Nathan gave her a look.

"What I mean is I actually expected you'd pay me a visit to talk about Kristin's condition," she said with a smile. "I didn't expect you quite so early, but…" She paused. "That is why you're here, isn't it?"

Nathan gave her a nod.

"Yes, well, I know you're worried about her. Joshua told me the crew is very close." She took a seat in the chair across from him.

"Most of us, yes," Nathan replied. "Excuse me if I don't feel like engaging in small talk, though. May we just cut to the chase?"

She gave a slight laugh. "Joshua also said you were no-nonsense. So what's on your mind then?"

"Something you said before doesn't make sense. Why would you travel all this way from Germany if you're going to give Kristin a choice about the hypnosis?"

"Well, we certainly don't want her to feel pressured. She's under enough stress as it is, wouldn't you say?"

Nathan looked at her. "Of course she is, but Joshua had already said that the only way for her to forgive Frank Knox is through hypnosis. If she decides against that…" He let out a sigh. "Was there something you weren't telling us?"

She averted her gaze, not offering an answer.

"Doctor?"

"Did Joshua explain what this is doing to her physically?"

Nathan's eyebrows knitted together. He couldn't quite remember. "Well, it's obviously greatly affecting her, but I'm not sure if we spoke about it in detail."

"All right. Well, I know you can see the physical effects. When spirits come into our lives, they feed off our life force. They have little energy themselves, and they need to borrow that of the living. Normally, that's not much of a problem. We have a lot to spare, and we don't often feel it. But in Kristin's case, she's been exposed to it a bit longer. She's physically and emotionally weakened."

"Yes, I can see that, but I'm still not sure I understand. Isn't that all the more reason to have her go through hypnosis?"

Kimberly shook her head. "If she wasn't so physically drained, I wouldn't hesitate. But with the way her physical state is now…it could be dangerous."

Nathan was taken aback. "Dangerous? But Joshua had said it was safe."

"On a healthy person, it is. But…" She paused for a moment. "You've heard about exorcisms?"

"You…you're saying she needs an exorcism?"

Kimberly placed a reassuring hand over his. "No, not at all. Exorcisms are for demons, and while Frank Knox is a malicious spirit, he's not a demon. And this isn't a possession. But it is the same concept. In exorcism, the practitioner -the priest- needs to weigh the pros and cons. Don't do the exorcism, and the risk is that the affected person could die. But if he does the exorcism, the result could be the very same." She paused to look into his eyes. "You see what I'm saying?"

Nathan shook his head in disbelief. "So…you're saying she could die?"

"Because of her weakened state, it is a possibility." She took a deep breath. "Ideally, yes, we want her to be able to go through another hypnosis. We are hoping this will resolve all the conflicts she's having, but that's why it's so important for her to try to get rest and eat properly. The spirits -mainly Frank Knox- can sense when her physical body is weaker. That's when he's going to see his opportunity, and if he does… I can't necessarily control what will happen."

Nathan was silent for a few minutes. "And if she doesn't do the hypnosis?"

"I don't know," she admitted. "The results could be devastating for her."

"She could die?" Nathan said again, his voice cracking.

She nodded and after a pause said, "I'm sure you can understand my reasons for not telling her this, and I'd advise you not to tell her either. This needs to be her decisions and hers alone. But in the meantime, we need to keep urging her to rest as much as she can and to eat properly. If she does decide on hypnosis, I want her as healthy as possible."

"So she technically could go through hypnosis right now?"

"She could, yes, but I wouldn't risk it. Not yet. She's been through too much."

Nathan folded his hands, bowed his head, and sighed deeply. "Did Joshua know about this?"

"Yes, but he and I both agreed we shouldn't tell Kristin about it. I didn't want to tell you either, but Joshua's actually the one who told me you'd end up at my door soon enough," she replied. "I do hope you know I really am going to do everything I can to help her. But she needs to help herself as well."

Nathan nodded. "Well, she's resting now, but who knows how long that will last. Whether she's asleep or awake, she keeps seeing him."

"Joshua gave her the sleeping pills? That was my idea."

"Yes, but she didn't take them…at least not yet. I think she's afraid," he admitted. "If she sleeps too deeply…" Then a thought occurred to him. "What about Sylvia and Jack? Do they know about her physical condition?"

"I don't think Sylvia or Jack have any ill intentions towards her. To answer your question, I honestly don't know. However, I'm sure when they realize her energies are weakened, they'll only come to her if absolutely necessary. Sylvia, of all people, especially."

"If this isn't resolved in three days, she's going to lose her position on the _seaQuest."_

She shook her head. "I make no guarantees."

"But you will try?" Nathan pleaded.

She nodded. "But I suggest you don't put any pressure on her about hypnosis either. Again, this has to be her decision."

"I understand, but I'm pretty sure she's dead-set on doing it."

Kimberly raised an eyebrow. "She told you that?"

"She seems to think it's the only thing that will save her job."

"And what do you think?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I just… I want her to do what she thinks she needs to do. I think that's what all of us wants."

Kimberly thought for a moment. "Maybe everyone should tell her that. I know it seems like something small, but it might help her."

"Some of us have…in a way, though I'm not sure it did help after all."

"Why not?"

Nathan sighed. "Well, we actually discovered something else after you left the room. She does need to forgive someone else, and I was hoping you might be able to help with that. She blames herself for everything that's happened, and no matter how much I tell her she shouldn't…all of us have told her so, I think…she doesn't believe it."

"Oh, dear…" Kimberly muttered. "Well, I can't say I didn't suspect it, but when she didn't volunteer it, I decided I was either wrong or she hadn't yet figured it out."

"Would you mind speaking to her?"

"Of course." She took out a pen and paper and wrote something down. "This is my mobile number. When she's feeling up to it, have her call me, and we'll arrange a meeting."

"I will, thank you." He paused. "And I thank you for being honest with me as well."

She gave a nod. "Of course. I can see how much you care about her. Just, please, not a word to her about this."

"I won't say anything," he said as he stood and inched towards the door. "I suppose I should be getting back to her."

"Just please remember what I said," she reminded him. "Rest and food. She needs to get her strength back."

Nathan nodded. "I will. Thank you, Doctor."

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Nathan returned back to Kristin's room and relieved Katie of her services. Thankfully, Kristin was still asleep.

Once he was alone, however, he thought about everything Kimberly had said. He glanced towards the woman asleep on the bed and sighed sadly. He lay down next to her and gently ran his fingers through her hair. After he'd lost his wife, he never dreamed he could learn to care about another the way he'd cared for her. But obviously, the tour changed that. And now that he'd found Kristin, he didn't want to lose her. He wasn't sure he could handle another loss like that.

Whatever the outcome, though, he knew this experience was changing every single one of them. He wondered if that was part of the lesson. Jack had told her that this was about lessons for all of them. People are naturally opposed to change; he knew he was one of those particularly opposed to it. If Bill had never come to his island… Well, that seemed so long ago now, but look at all the good that came from that one change…once he stopped resisting, that is.

He also knew that he and Kristin were alike in a lot of ways. Although he didn't always see it, he had many reminders from the others. Joshua was particularly observant of that. He'd been the one to tell him that Kristin was on her own island of sorts. And while he'd done his best to pull her off of it, he could see she was resisting. How could he get her to stop?

He knew she was worried about what was going to happen. He wondered if it were possible she knew what Kimberly had told her. Maybe Sylvia or Jack had told her, but she didn't want to tell anyone else? He knew her tendency to keep certain things to herself if she thought it might hurt the ones around her. Then a thought occurred to him. He'd actually pulled her off her island many times over the past couple of weeks, hadn't he? There were the trivia games and the dancing, the picnic, the waterfall. All those things had taken her mind off the situation at hand. Even though it was temporary, it seemed to keep her grounded. Not only that, she hadn't been out of the hotel in days...well, besides the museum. Surely, she had to be missing the fresh air.

And of course, there were her eating habits. Unfortunately, they'd gotten much worse than when she was on call. He'd seen her go all day on only a muffin and a cup of coffee when she was on duty. But by the time she was relieved, she'd at least have a sandwich in the galley. But now, he knew she was going for days without eating a single thing. And when she did eat, room service was nice, but she had to be missing real, home-cooked food.

The wheels in his head quickly began to devise a plan. He made his way back to Katie's room to see if she could stay with Kristin for a little while longer while he put it into motion.

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Kristin awoke to the soft sound of the television. Her eyes fluttered open, and she happened to notice it was early evening. The sun was beginning to set, the sky a fluorescent orange-red. She was somewhat surprised that she'd slept the day away, though she felt something she wasn't used to lately: she felt well-rested for a change.

She rolled over and saw Nathan sitting in the armchair in front of the television. He must have heard her stirring because he turned to look at her, greeting her with a smile. "Hey, sleepyhead." He stood and moved to sit next to her on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Not as tired," she told him. "I can't believe I slept all day."

"You needed it," he replied. "Are you hungry?"

"Not really," she admitted. "But if you are, don't let me stop you. Go ahead and order something."

Nathan gave her a frown. "I was hoping we could do something a little different."

Her eyebrows knitted together. "What's that?"

"Why don't you take a shower and get dressed, and I'll show you?"

"Oh, Nathan," she protested. "I'm not…"

"Don't worry," he told her. "Where we're going, you don't need to dress fancy. Jeans and a T-shirt should be fine, though you might want a sweater in case you get cold." He pointed to the adjoining door. "I'll just give you a little privacy. Don't rush. But if you need anything…well, I won't be far."

"But-"

Nathan, however, didn't stay to listen to her protest.

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Kristin let out a sigh as she forced herself out of bed. She did feel better, but she that didn't mean anything these days. That feeling was usually temporary. Not only that, she was a little wary of taking a shower, considering what had happened the last time she did that. She still had the bandages on her wrists as a reminder. But she knew they needed to be changed at least, so she made her way into the bathroom. She paused in front of the mirror.

"God, Kristin, you still look like hell," she muttered to herself. "Well, maybe a shower isn't such a bad idea then. A cool one might make that weary look go away, hm?"

She carefully removed the bandages on her wrists. The wounds looked better, the puffiness gone, though they still stung when she moved. She cringed slightly, knowing the water was going to sting them a bit more, but it was necessary. She undressed and turned on the tap. She'd be quick about it, hopefully ensuring that Frank Knox wouldn't make an appearance. She also left the bathroom door open a crack, just in case.

She winced when the water sprayed against her wrists, but she willed it away as she began to wash her hair. Although she kept looking over her shoulder every thirty seconds or so, she was able to have a Frank Knox-free shower. After she rinsed, she turned off the tap and stepped out of the stall, grabbing the towel off the rack and wrapping it around her. She looked in the mirror once again. She'd been wrong, however. The shower didn't help her appearance any. She let out a sigh as she began towel off, brush her teeth, comb her hair, and get dressed.

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"Ah, you look lovely," Nathan said when she walked through the adjoining door.

She raised an eyebrow. "Have you gone blind since I've been asleep?"

He chuckled. "No. I meant it, though. You look…nice."

She looked down at herself. She was wearing blue jeans with a light blue T-shirt with a long-sleeved denim shirt swung over her arm, in case she got chilly per his advice. "You've seen me like this before."

He sighed. "I meant you look nice, and I meant it." He looked down at her bare feet. "Oh, uh, did I mention you'll probably need shoes?"

"Shoes? We're going out?" She shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't feel like going out. I look awful."

"You look fine, and we're not going to be going far. I just thought you might like a little change of scenery. You've been cooped up in this hotel for days, and-"

"We went out yesterday," she reminded him.

"I'm not talking about that. Look, please just trust me, okay? I'm not going to make you go for a hike. I just planned a little outing I think you'll enjoy. I promise if we get there, and you still want to come back, I'll let you. What do you say?"

She thought for a moment, glancing through the window. It had been a while since she'd been outside…outside where she could actually enjoy it. Plus, knowing Nathan, he'd probably planned a moonlit walk of some sorts. And that did sound relaxing. "All…all right," she agreed.

Nathan gave her a satisfied smile. "Good. I promise you won't be disappointed."

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After putting on her shoes, Nathan led her down to the beach in front of the hotel, just as she suspected. But when they got there, there was something she didn't expect: a blanket on the sand with a picnic basket nearby. She turned to look at him.

"I thought it would be a nice change to eat out under the stars."

"But I'm not-"

He shook his head and took her hand. "You need to eat…please? I'm sure you're hungry."

She sighed and allowed him to lead her to the blanket.

Nathan began to open the basket. "It's nothing fancy, but I thought you might be getting a little…bored…with room service food."

She shrugged. "I really haven't had enough to get sick of it."

"My point exactly." He passed her a sandwich. "Chicken salad. I remember you said you liked it."

She smiled softly. "I do, thank you." She watched him for a moment as he passed her a bottle of water and then took a sandwich out for himself. She then took a small bite. "Hmm…it's delicious."

"I'll take that as a compliment. I made it myself."

She took another bite and another still. "I never knew you could cook."

He laughed. "Well, the navy taught me a few things. Not only that, after Carol…"

She set her sandwich down on the napkin in front of her. "I didn't mean…"

He waved a hand. "Oh, I know. Please, don't worry." He cleared his throat. "Actually, I think it's a good thing if we talk about this."

Her brow furrowed. "Why is that?"

"Because you're trying to run."

"What?"

"Kristin, I'm no stranger to running myself, but you…" He sighed. "There comes a time when you need to stop running. I found that out the hard way."

She stood. "I am not running. I'm right in front of you."

"That's not what I meant, and I think you know that."

She didn't offer a reply, turning from him then and walking to sit on the nearby dock. She heard his footsteps behind her, but she refused to look at him.

"I thought I had absolutely nothing left to live for. When Bill showed up on my island, I wanted nothing to do with the military anymore. That was before I met you and Lucas…and everyone else."

She shook her head. "I don't think I have nothing left to live for, Nathan."

"No, but you're on an island of your own. I pushed the people who were still alive that cared about me away. I shut everyone out. Do you know why I did that?"

"No."

"Because I felt guilty. I thought I was responsible for Carol's death. I thought that after her… I didn't think I was capable of being any good to anyone else." He put an arm around her shoulders.

"That's not the same thing," she replied quietly.

"I think it is," he said. "And you know what brought me back?"

She shook her head.

"You…all of you. You showed me it was okay to care about others again." He placed a hand to her cheek.

"But I do… I've never…"

He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "No, you never have given us a reason to think otherwise. But you need to let others care about you too. I'm going to give you a little time to think about that." He then stood and walked back to the blanket, leaving her alone on the dock.


	50. But That Chapter Of My Life

Kristin turned back to look at him, opening her mouth to utter one last protest, but upon second thought, closed it again, realizing it was futile. She could feel his gaze boring into her, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. _Is he just going to sit there and stare at me?_ she wondered.

She shook her head in reply. No, of course he wasn't. What would be the point in that? He was probably packing up the little picnic and putting everything away since she'd gone and ruined everything. She shrugged. Well, maybe it wasn't all her fault, but she knew Nathan didn't enjoy talking about the tragedies in his life… She had to go mention that she didn't know he could cook. _Of course he knew how to cook. He'd been on his own since…_ She gave another shake of her head. That was quite a foolish thing to say.

She sighed sadly as she thought about what he'd said to her. Was she trying to run away? She didn't think so. She'd talked to him, voiced her concerns and worries. Well, no, she didn't tell him everything, but was that a crime? She'd apologized for it, but she was sick of sounding…well, for lack of a better word, whiny. Kristin Westphalen did not consider herself a whiner, at least not in many, many years. After she'd found her husband in bed with his secretary years ago, she'd forced herself to overcome that whiny persona. And she'd been quite successful…up until now, that is.

She'd hated having to depend on anyone after her divorce. She hated it now. Oh, of course, she was human. She enjoyed intimacy, but she also prided herself in being able to stand on her own two feet. Of course, every now and then, she'd still need a shoulder to cry on, but she hated feeling helpless. And lately, with everything that had happened, she couldn't stand being alone.

But there was also a part of her that wanted it too. Odd how she had this internal struggle. She knew full well that she was a burden, and the fact she was causing everyone pain made her want to push them all away. She had meant it when she had said she couldn't understand why they weren't running away from her. And she knew full well that's what Nathan was doing now. He was good for that anyway, wasn't he?

What a hypocrite. He'd lived on his island as a recluse for nearly a year, and he was giving _her_ a lecture? Mr. High and Mighty didn't run anymore? What was he doing right now? If he'd had any inkling of everything she was going through…well, he'd want to run too. She shook her head. That was her fault, wasn't it? She wasn't as forthcoming as she could have been. But that was the problem. When you feel guilty, you can't talk to the people you feel you've wronged, can you? At least she couldn't.

So that was it. He was going to leave her alone to wallow in sorrow and despair. Yet she couldn't help but think that she deserved it. She had to have done something horrible to deserve everything that was happening, hadn't she? Things like this didn't happen to good people, she decided. _Good, just go. At least I won't have to see that look in your eyes anymore. At least…_

The sound of footsteps pulled her out of her thoughts. She turned to glance back to the area where Nathan had laid the blanket. Just as she suspected, he was gone. A shiver ran down her spine then, realizing that the footsteps could very well belong to Frank Knox. Good God, of all times for him to show up… She shut her eyes tightly as her heart began to race.

As the footsteps got closer, her breath caught in her throat. She had nowhere to run. _Please, just go away,_ she silently begged. For a few moments, she heard nothing. Perhaps it was just her imagination all along. She breathed a sigh of relief and opened her eyes. But when she noticed the dark shadow block the path of moonlight before her, she uttered a low gasp.

She shut her eyes tightly once again, and her breath came in short pants as she began to tremble. The footsteps started coming towards her once again, making a hard clunk on the wooden dock every few seconds. _Thunk, clunk._ And then they stopped.

Kristin felt as though her heart was going to burst out of her chest with every step. _Thunk, clunk._ Another pause. The anticipation was excruciating. She could hear him right behind her breathing heavily. Just another footstep or two to go, she decided. She risked a peek and noticed the shadow of his hand right above her.

She tried to scream, but no sound came out. She felt winded, suddenly unable to breath. As he took those last two footsteps and his hand clamped down on her shoulder, she was sure it was all over. The only thing she could do was try to fight. She struggled with all her might when she heard him speak.

"Kristin! Kristin, stop! It's me!"

Was that…? No, it couldn't be. He'd left her. It was a trick. Knox had learned to throw his voice, she decided. She dug her long, well-manicured nails into his flesh, which resulted in an animal-like cry of pain.

He removed his hands from her as he shrank back, falling to his knees onto the dock and holding his wounded cheek, blood visible between his fingers.

Kristin struggled to breathe as she held her aching chest with one hand. She had just a short time to run if she was going to escape. She glanced towards her enemy and her hand rose to her mouth as she uttered a soft cry. It wasn't Frank Knox after all. It was… "Na-Nathan?" she rasped, still trying to catch her breath. "I…"

"Yes," he replied with a wince of pain, "it's me."

She was finally able to suck in a deep breath as her fear melted away. She then approached him carefully. "Nathan, I…I am so sorry. I thought…I thought you had gone back to the room. And I didn't…" She carefully placed a trembling hand over his. "Could…could I see, please?"

She could see he was eyeing her, and a flash of wariness graced his face.

She held up her right hand. "I'll be good, I promise."

He obediently removed his hand from his wounded cheek and allowed her to examine it in the pale moonlight.

"Well," she said after a few moments, "it doesn't look too bad, though it'll need to be cleaned up. I can put some antibiotic cream and a bandage on it." She paused, noticing he was still staring at her with a look of shock. "That is, if you'll let me." She looked down at her hands, which were still shaking. "I wouldn't blame you if you didn't, though," she added quietly.

She waited patiently for an answer, still afraid to look at him. She heard him shuffling to his feet, partly expecting that decision. She felt a few bitter tears threaten to fall, but she swallowed them as she waited for his departing footsteps. However, she heard nothing of the sort.

After a few minutes, she finally risked a look. He was kneeling right in front of her, a worried expression on his face.

Her brow furrowed. "I…I thought you were leaving?"

"And why would I want to do a thing like that?"

"Be-because…your face… I…" She lowered her gaze. "I thought you were Frank Knox. I didn't mean…"

Nathan placed his hands on her shoulders. "It's all right. I shouldn't have come up behind you like that. After everything, I should have known better. I'm fine. No harm done."

She shook her head. "But I hurt you."

"It's just a little scratch. I've had worse. Besides, I'm rather impressed. I didn't know you were that strong."

She blushed. "That's really no consolation for what just happened."

"Are you cold?" he asked after a moment. "You're shaking."

She shook her head. "I'm not cold. I'm just…" She looked up at him. "Please, let me help you get that cleaned up. You're dripping blood on your shirt."

He shrugged. "It's just a shirt."

"Nathan…please? It would make me feel better."

"All right," he told her as he stood and held out his hand to help her up.

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Once back in the hotel room, she instructed him to sit while she got out her medical bag.

Nathan watched her hands as they took out antiseptic, gauze, antibiotic cream, and bandages. They were still shaking. He shook his head slightly; that was uncharacteristic for her. Her hands were normally very steady, especially when doing any form of medical work.

She wet a gauze pad with antiseptic and approached him. "This might sting a little," she told him as dabbed gently at his cheek.

Nathan sucked in through his teeth the moment the gauze made contact with his cheek. "Ouch."

Kristin pulled back. "I tried to warn you," she said with a sigh.

"I…I know. I just didn't expect it to hurt quite so much."

She held out the gauze pad to him. "Maybe you'd rather do it yourself?"

"No…I'm fine now. Go ahead."

He heard her take a deep breath as she brought the gauze to his cheek again; he could tell she was trying her best to be gentle.

"I can't promise there won't be a scar," she said as she dried it with a fresh gauze pad and gently rubbed some antibiotic cream on the area.

"Don't tell Lucas that; we don't want to make him jealous." He laughed lightly, hoping to get her to do the same.

She did nothing of the sort, however, standing there with a frown on her face. "This really isn't a laughing matter." She carefully placed the bandage on his cheek, gently pressing down on the adhesive to be sure it wouldn't come off.

Nathan's smile faded. "I was just trying to make you feel better." He reached out and took her hand in his, still noting she was trembling. "I'm fine. You don't need to worry."

She pulled away from him, shaking her head. "Maybe you should go back to your room now? Get some rest."

Nathan's eyebrows knitted together. "What about you?"

"What about me?" she asked, her brow furrowing.

"Well, I thought we should talk…"

An eyebrow rose. "Didn't you do enough talking out there?" She nodded her head towards the window and shook her head. "I really don't need any more lectures. I'm tired, and I just-"

"Want to run away."

She glared at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "And what business is it of yours if I do?"

"I just explained it to you a short while ago."

"And you think you're an expert now, is that it?" She walked towards the adjoining door and opened it. "Well, Mr. Expert, I appreciate the fact you're trying to help, but I really just want to be alone. Please?"

"Kris, don't do this. I didn't… We don't need to argue."

"You promised me if I didn't enjoy myself, I could come back," she said quietly, looking down at the floor. "I didn't enjoy myself. Now you can hold up your end of the bargain."

Nathan refused to move. "I never said I was going to leave you alone." He sat down on the sofa, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest. "You got what you wanted. You're back in your room."

She let out a frustrated groan. "And now I would like some privacy." She motioned to the door again. "Please, just go."

He simply stared at her, making no attempt to move. "I thought we were going to be honest with each other?"

"Please, don't do this."

"Do what? It's an honest question, isn't it?"

She held up her hand. "Never mind. Just do what you like." She crossed to the door leading to the hallway.

"Where are you going?"

His only reply was the click of the door.

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Kristin wasn't quite sure where she was going. Correction: she was sure. She just wasn't sure _why_. She wanted to be alone…yet she didn't. She walked down the sandy shore of the beach towards the docks. She walked to the furthest one, just outside the path of the moonlight. She felt the darkness might help her collect her thoughts, and since she also guessed Nathan would probably come looking for her, she hoped that would make it difficult for him. She didn't want to see anyone. She hoped he'd give up and go back inside.

Her thoughts also drifted back to what Kimberly had said about her being in control. If that was the case, why did she feel so lost and helpless? Not only that, she felt like no one was listening to her. No, it was time to end it, once and for all. She'd call up the admiral and give her resignation and be on the first flight out to… Well, she had no idea where she'd go. Maybe she'd go somewhere new, somewhere where no one knew her? All she did know was she had to get away from everyone else. That way, the others could get on with their lives and not have to worry about this Sylvia business anymore. As for her, well, she'd have to deal with it. Perhaps that was her perdition, her punishment for every bad thing she'd done. It was…

A low gasp escaped her throat as something bumped her leg; something wet. She was almost afraid to look down when she heard a familiar whistle: Darwin. She breathed a sigh of relief as she looked down at him. "Don't tell me you've come to lecture me too?" She reached out to pet his nose.

Darwin clicked something in response as he nuzzled her leg.

She sighed. "Maybe I could ask your advice…if you'll listen?"

Darwin squeaked.

She laughed softly. "Thank you for your time." She paused and her smile faded. "Do…do you think I should go?"

Another click followed by a high-pitched squeak echoed through the night air.

"I'm pretty sure that's a no," Nathan's voice said from behind her.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked, making no attempt to look at him.

He moved to sit next to her. "Long enough," he replied. "Are you really planning on leaving?"

"It's a possibility. I need to keep my options open. It's crunch time, as you know, and with the ultimatum the brass has given… Well, I don't need yet another stress added to my list. If I go, it'll save all of you a lot of time."

An eyebrow rose. "And you think that's what we want?"

She sighed. "Nathan, haven't we been over this? I know full well it might not be what you want. It's not what _I_ want, but what choice do I have?"

"But Kimberly-"

"I know what Kimberly said, but…I'm not an idiot."

"What?"

"Oh, come now, Nathan. Do you really think she came here on a whim?" She shook her head. "Just the other day, she was too busy to leave. And two days later, she's in the States?"

Nathan's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure I get what you mean."

"They're hiding something, Joshua and Kimberly. Oh, I don't think it's intentional. But Joshua had been so confident about everything… And the way Kimberly spoke…" She took a shaky breath. "I think it's quite possible that if I did do the hypnosis, it might not work. Or maybe there's something more?"

She eyed him carefully. Even in the dim light, she could see something in his eyes that confirmed her suspicions were correct. "They told you something?"

He hesitated, averting his gaze. He bent over to pet Darwin on the head as he squeaked in response. He then gave a silent nod.

"Well?" she pressed after a moment.

"I'm not…" He sighed deeply and turned back to look at her. "Are you sure you really want to know?"

"Something could go wrong?" she guessed.

He nodded.

She looked down at the undulating water beneath her. "I don't need to know anything more than that," she whispered. "As I said, I'd suspected."

A minute later, she felt his arm go around her shoulders. "But Kimberly seemed confident she could help you."

"Doctors always seem confident. We always want to believe we're going to be able to heal someone. But that's not always the case… It's just human nature to want to be positive in dire situations, even if it's a lie."

"Running from your problems doesn't make them go away."

She snorted. "Rather an ironic statement coming from you."

"Now, wait a minute. That's not very fair. I've already explained-"

She shook her head. "You had said you weren't like that anymore, but that's not exactly true. I remember you were ready to pack up and leave about ten months ago."

"You had said you thought it was the right decision," he replied.

"For you, yes." She shrugged. "I'm not saying I didn't understand why you were going to leave. What I didn't understand is how you could turn your back on all of us…"

"But I didn't... I came back, didn't I?"

She gave a nod. "Yes, and I was glad you did. But you didn't stop running then, did you?"

"What?" He gave a shake of his head. "You'll have to refresh my memory because I never once left on my own accord after that, well, except for shore leave, and that was different."

She placed a hand to his cheek. "I wasn't talking about _physically_ leaving." She paused. "Do you know how many times I'd tried to talk to you about things other than medical files or algae samples with you?"

His eyebrows knitted together. "We've had many conversations about things more meaningful than that over the tour and you know it."

She sighed. "What I mean is you put up a wall when things get a little…tense. You make up some sort of excuse for a reason you can't talk about something and you turn to leave."

"I don't."

"You _do_ ," she insisted. "Well, maybe not so much lately, but…what I meant was that it's the bit of the pot calling the kettle black."

"All right, fine. As I said, I was no stranger to running."

She gave him a look.

" _Am_ no stranger to running," he corrected, "but as I said, I've changed. I haven't left you alone yet since this all started, have I?"

"Well, no, but-"

"That was my point," he replied. "I didn't mean to sound like a hypocrite. I just wish you wouldn't try to push us all away."

"But I know I'm hurting all of you, and…I just wish this would all go away…" Her voice began to tremble.

He pulled her close to him. "I know, sweetie, I know, but it's not going away. And if you leave…do you really think that would make it better for us?"

"I…I don't know." Her voice was muffled since she hid her face in her hands.

"I think you do," Nathan told her. "So how about we forget this leaving business once and for all?"

"I'm not…"

"Kris, please? There was one thing Kimberly was right about: what you do is up to you. That's all everyone wants, for you to do what you're comfortable with. But don't go running away because you think that's what we want because I can assure you it isn't."

After a few moments, she gave a nod. "All…all right."

"You want to go back inside?"

She gave another nod.

They both said their goodnights to Darwin and started back inside.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once back in the room, Nathan stood in the doorway, unsure if she wanted him to stay or not.

She turned to him, noticing his awkwardness. "You're suddenly shy?"

"No, I just wasn't…" He took a deep breath. "Do…do you want me to stay?"

She gave a shrug. "Don't you want to know how Lucas' day went?"

He started toward the adjoining door. "Right. I know a hint when I hear it. Goodnight then."

"Wait," she said.

He turned back to her with an expectant look, his hand resting on the doorknob.

"I didn't say you had to leave. I just meant…well, I don't want him feeling neglected."

Nathan gave a nod and opened the door, finding the room empty. "He doesn't appear to be back yet," he announced. He turned back to her, standing in the doorway. "Do you want me to stay?"

"Do you want to stay?" she asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "Are we going to play twenty questions?" He sighed. "What is it you want?"

"I…I wouldn't mind if you stayed."

He walked back into the room, wrapping her in his arms. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For letting me help you." He paused. "Are you tired?"

She let out a slight laugh. "I just woke up a little while ago. I don't want to go back to sleep just yet."

"You never finished your sandwich," he reminded her. "And I never finished mine. We could finish our picnic…indoors."

"Okay. As long as we talk about something else…other than this, please?"

"I think I can manage that," he replied, leading her to sit at the table while he opened the picnic basket and started emptying its contents once again.


	51. Will Soon Be Done

The indoor picnic was quiet, laced with occasional conversation. There was an awkwardness that hung in the air as they talked, however, the conversation was trivial, mainly about the food in front of them. This wasn't exactly what Kristin had intended. She'd wanted them to be able to talk like they used to, only there was something holding the both of them back.

She cradled her chin in her hand and stared across the table at him. He didn't seem to notice, his attention on the sandwich in front of him. She lowered her gaze, picking a small piece of chicken up with her free hand and bringing it to her lips.

Nathan suddenly looked up at her. He reached in the basket and took out another sandwich. "Would you like another?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you. It…it was good, but I'm still working on this one."

Nathan nodded quietly, and picked up his own sandwich once again. He looked as though he wanted to say something else, opened his mouth to speak, but then he closed it again.

Kristin let out a sigh. They'd never had trouble struggling for things to say to one another before. She decided she was going to have to break the silence. Perhaps he was just worried about saying the wrong thing. "Nathan, I-"

"Nice weather we've been having, isn't it?" he said at the same time.

Kristin quirked an eyebrow at him as she swallowed the last bite of her sandwich and stared at him for a moment.

"Sorry," he muttered sheepishly. "Go ahead."

"Is it really that difficult?"

"What?"

"Talking, I mean. We _can_ talk about things that are a bit deeper than the weather, you know. I didn't mean for you to feel like we can't talk about other things. I…" She looked down at the table. "I know it's not exactly how it used to be between us, but I'd still like us to be able to talk about anything."

Nathan reached across the table and placed a hand over hers. "We can. I was just trying to be careful about what I brought up."

She looked up and gave him a small smile. "I do appreciate that."

Nathan let out a sigh and moved around to the other side of the table to stand behind her. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "What would you like to talk about?"

She gave a light shrug. "I don't know."

"Well, how about a change of scenery?"

"Outdoors again?" she said thoughtfully, looking towards the window.

"Sort of, but we don't need to go that far," he told her, moving to her side and holding out his hand. "We can clean this up later."

She accepted his hand and allowed him to lead her through the adjoining door. As he led her towards the sliding door, she knew where they were going: the balcony. She hadn't thought of that, but as they stepped through the door, Kristin suddenly felt a bit more at ease. Perhaps it was the inky sky decorated by the many points of light, or perhaps it was the gentle sound of the lapping waves? Kristin wasn't quite sure, but she immediately walked to the railing and took a deep breath of the sweet night air and let it out slowly.

Nathan took the place next to her and looked out over the water. "This is better, isn't it?"

She gave a nod. "It's a lovely night."

A comfortable silence fell around them again. Although Kristin found it relaxing, her mind couldn't help but wander. Although she tried to forget for the time being, her thoughts drifted back to what Nathan had said before: that she needed to let others care about her too. Had she not been allowing that? Yes, she knew she'd pushed Nathan away, but what about the others? Had she done the same thing to them?

"Kristin? Did you hear what I said?"

Upon hearing his voice, she turned to him then, the worried look on his face nearly making her heart break. "I…I'm sorry; what was that?"

"You must have been a million miles away. I just wanted to know what you'd like to talk about."

"I suppose I was," she answered quietly. She felt a tremor begin to rise from deep within her bones, which she tried to will away, to no avail. She hoped Nathan hadn't noticed, but she was sure he did. She took a few steps towards the corner for the railing, hoping the darkness would hide her.

"Are you cold?" Nathan moved next to her, placing his hands on her shoulders, which were still shaking. "Kristin?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said again. "I…"

"What's wrong?"

She took a long, ragged breath in an effort to calm herself. She stared out over the dark, undulating water beneath her, afraid to look at the man staring at her intently. "When…when…" Her voice was breathy and hoarse. She cleared her throat and began again, this time a bit slower. "When you said I needed to let others care about me too…" She turned to him then. "Is that what I've been doing…with everyone?"

"Oh, Kristin, when I said that…I didn't mean for you to second-guess yourself like this." He pulled her into his arms. "Besides, I thought you wanted to talk about something happier. We don't need-"

But Kristin placed her hands on his chest and wriggled out of his embrace. "I don't need to be patronized, Nathan. Please, just answer me _honestly_. I know I've pushed you away." She turned back to the railing, leaning her elbows on the cool metal. "Have I done that to everyone else too?"

Nathan moved to stand next to her, leaning against the railing putting an arm around her shoulders. "I can't really speak for the others," he finally said.

"But surely they must have mentioned…" She let out a sigh. "Please, tell me."

Nathan hesitated. "They didn't exactly say it like that."

"Please?" Her voice trembled slightly. "I need to know."

She heard his relenting sigh. "All right. I suppose the others felt you did the same to them."

"Did…did everyone say that?"

"Most of the senior staff, yes," he replied. "But I don't think-"

She shook her head. "Even Lucas?"

"Kristin, let's not-"

She turned to him, crossing her arms over her chest. "Even Lucas?" she said again.

He gave a nod.

She lowered her gaze. It was worse than she'd expected; she knew the others had a difficult time witnessing what she'd been going through, but she hadn't realized that she had managed to push them away in the process, hurting them even more.

Nathan moved behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "But I'm sure they don't hold it against you. I just… I didn't tell you this to hurt you. I wanted to make you aware of it so you could change the way you were doing things…that is, if you wanted to."

She nodded silently, unsure of what else to say.

"Well, at least you know the problem, but it's easily fixable. You can't keep beating yourself up over this."

She turned to him. "That's easier said than done," she said with a shaky voice. "I don't…" She shook her head. "I'm not even sure how to start."

Nathan sighed and wrapped her in a tight embrace, gently rubbing her back. "Kimberly gave me her mobile number. I think it would help if you spoke with her."

She pulled back to look at him. "Tonight?"

"Whatever you think is best. I'm sure she wouldn't mind." He fished into his pocket and handed her the piece of paper.

She took it from him and stared at it for a moment. Then without a word, she walked through the sliding door, making a bee-line for the vid-phone. She dialed the number and waited nervously. One ring went by and then another. By the third, Kristin was about ready to give up, assuming that perhaps Kimberly wasn't available after all or that she had changed her mind. But then she'd heard her familiar voice on the other end, saw her warm smile on the screen.

"Hello, Kristin. I was expecting your call."

Kristin felt her face go warm, suddenly unsure what exactly she was going to say. "Nathan…he gave me your number. He thought…I thought that perhaps we should talk? That is, if you're not busy. Of course, we could do it another time. I was just hoping…" She absentmindedly wrung her hands together, unsure of what else to say or do.

"Of course I have time. Please don't worry. Would you like to come to me or should I go to you?"

"Um…"

"How about I come to you? That would probably be easier, hm?"

"Oh, thank you," Kristin replied.

"You're very welcome, sweetie. I'll see you soon."

As the screen went blank, Kristin turned back to Nathan, who was standing in the doorway.

He walked towards her and placed his hands on her arms. "That went well, didn't it?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry, but I guess we'll have to cut our evening a little short."

He laughed lightly and placed a kiss to her forehead. "Oh, that's all right. Maybe we can plan something a little later?"

"We'll play it by ear, all right?"

"It's a deal," he told her.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The two of them cleaned up the little indoor picnic when a knock sounded at the door, making Kristin jump.

Nathan rubbed her back gently. "Easy, easy. It's all right."

"I'm just a little nervous," she told him. "I'm fine."

He nodded and moved to answer the door.

Kristin wasn't quite sure what she had been expecting, but when she saw Kimberly standing there in jeans and a T-shirt with a bag slung over her shoulder, Kristin felt more at ease. For some reason, she'd expected her to be in her lab coat like the first time she'd spoken to her. But seeing her this way made this seem more like a casual meeting between friends. Perhaps that was what she'd intended all along.

She greeted Nathan and stepped inside, walking over to Kristin. She placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm glad you called me. I was hoping you would."

"Well, I…I was hoping you could help me ease my mind about a few things," Kristin replied.

"Of course. I'll do anything I can to help." She glanced around the room. "I thought you had a balcony?"

Kristin raised an eyebrow, wondering why she'd ask such a thing. "It's on Nathan's side."

"Oh, good." She turned to Nathan. "Would you mind if we used your side then? We'll need the balcony."

"Of course, be my guest," Nathan replied. "I'll just watch a little television or something."

"Oh, well, just make yourself at home then," Kristin told him.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. Just go."

She nodded. "Thank you."

"Anytime. Good luck."

Kristin followed Kimberly through the adjoining door, jumping slightly as the door clicked shut.

Kimberly must have noticed her nervousness because she wrapped her in a hug immediately. "Try not to worry. Everything's going to be fine."

Kristin was somewhat taken aback by the embrace, but she quickly got over it and returned it, needing the comfort. "I'm just…"

"Shh," Kimberly soothed. "No need to explain." She released her and motioned towards the balcony. "Well, why don't we get started?" Kimberly led her through the sliding door and motioned for her to sit down.

Then she set her bag down on the tabletop and began emptying its contents. The first thing she took out was a white candle. "The reason we needed the balcony," she explained, placing it in the middle of the table and lighting it. "Joshua said you respond well to visualization techniques, so I thought we'd try this one."

She then took a metal brazier out of her bag and set it down next to the candle. "Negative emotions, unhappy memories, and guilt have an ability to drain our energy. Such emotions weigh us down and limit us. This exercise will help you purge that pain and guilt. But first, let's talk a bit, okay?"

"Okay…" Kristin said, staring at the candle and the brazier, unsure how that was going to help her.

"The captain told me you're feeling very guilty about everything."

Kristin gave a quiet nod. "I didn't quite realize it, but I feel like I'm responsible for everything that's happened. And the others…" She let out a deep breath. "Apparently, I've pushed them all away without realizing it. I just…I don't know how to even begin to apologize. And even when I do, I don't think it'll make me feel much better."

Kimberly was silent for a moment as she looked thoughtful. "Do you think they've forgiven you?"

"I'm not sure. Nathan said they probably don't hold it against me…but I think I'd feel better if they did."

"You think you deserve some sort of punishment?"

"I feel as though I've done something wrong," she replied. "If one has done something wrong, I feel that he or she should be punished." She paused. "They're the last people I wanted to hurt in all this. I honestly don't know what I think I deserve, but…I think I'd feel better if they did get a little angry with me. _I'm_ angry with me."

"Ah, we're getting somewhere now. Why are you angry with yourself? You haven't done anything wrong…have you?"

"Well, it was my idea to open the chest in the first place. Obviously, I was the one who started all of this."

Kimberly let out a sigh and placed a hand on her trembling shoulder. "No, you _didn't_ start this. Even if you hadn't opened the chest that day, the universe would have found another way. Everything that has happened so far was meant to be, and it's not exactly something you could control. It's not even something Sylvia could control."

"You mean I never had a choice in the matter at all? Now you sound like Jack and Nathan." Kristin shook her head. "I'm not used to feeling so out of control."

"When you were on the _George_ , did you feel guilt after your experience with Lillian?"

Kristin gave a shrug. Of course she didn't, but then, she could never admit to herself it actually happened…at least not for a while. "No, but that wasn't quite the same thing."

Kimberly raised an eyebrow. "You're sure about that? What did Lillian want you to do?"

"Lillian never asked me to do anything for her. I can't even remember what happened, except for what everyone has told me. I can only remember…small glimpses. I remember feeling terribly frightened. And then I felt very cold and weak. I…" Her breath caught in her throat as a lump formed, making her voice quiver. She felt close to tears, though she wasn't quite sure why. "I can't remember any more than that," she finally choked out. "The next thing I knew, I was waking up in Nathan's arms. Apparently, I had fainted due to nitrogen narcosis."

"Or that's what you forced yourself to believe."

"What difference does it make?" Kristin cried, suddenly feeling combative. "Lillian has nothing to do with this, so why does everyone keep bringing her up?" She stood and moved towards the railing, gripping it with both hands until her knuckles turned white. "I…I don't understand how any of this is supposed to help me. Maybe there is no helping me." She buried her face in her hands, wishing the balcony would give way and the world would swallow her whole and take her out of her misery.

It wasn't long before she felt Kimberly's hands rubbing her shoulders gently. "I refuse to believe that," she heard her whisper gently. "I'm sorry if you don't quite understand what Lillian has to do with all this, but she is very important. And I think in the back of your mind, you know that. Because she did ask something of you; it's just that she asked your subconscious mind. She asked you to use your body, and you gave it over willingly. She asked you to help her, and you did."

"I didn't," Kristin replied through sobs. "I never would have agreed to such a thing."

"And then Sylvia asked you the same exact thing," Kimberly continued.

"No," Kristin protested, covering her ears with both hands. "Please, stop."

"And you agreed once again, on a subconscious level." Kimberly paused, gently removed Kristin's hands from her ears, and placed them at her side. She then wrapped her in an embrace, stroking her hair gently. "Kristin, you had no control over this, not on the _George_ and not now. If you had walked away from the chest that day, the universe just would have found another way."

"But…but why…me?" she sobbed into her shoulder.

"Oh, honey…I don't know why you exactly. I know it seems like the world is out to get you sometimes, but it's quite the opposite." She pulled back to look at her, taking a tissue from her bag and dabbing at the fresh tears on Kristin's cheeks. "The reason why isn't because the universe hates you. It's because you have a special gift…several of them actually, or the spirits wouldn't be drawn to you. They'd never ask you for your help otherwise. You helped Lillian, didn't you?"

Kristin nodded, her breath still coming in short, uneven pants.

"And you've helped Sylvia quite a bit already."

Kristin gave another nod. "But…but…"

"And you're going to keep helping her, aren't you? That's what you'd like to do?"

"Yes…" Kristin replied. "But what if I can't…" She shook her head. "I'm not sure I can finish…not…not if I'm like this."

"That's why I'm here. And you're far from alone." Kimberly put an arm around her shoulders. "Go on, take a deep breath. Good. And let it out. Now another."

Kristin continued to breathe in and out on Kimberly's command until she willed her tears away.

"That's it," Kimberly urged. "Everything's fine. We'll get through this."

"I…I'm sorry I yelled before. I-"

Kimberly waved a hand. "Don't worry about it, please. Now, getting back to your friends…do you think they're angry with you?"

Kristin shook her head. "I think they're more hurt and disappointed than anything. I haven't made myself very available to them. I thought…I thought it would be better if they didn't know what was going on, but maybe that was a mistake."

"Well, I can understand why you might have thought that before, but it's not too late, you know."

"But I'm not even sure how to begin," she said with a sigh. "Should I start with an apology?"

Kimberly gave her a gentle smile. "That's something you need to ask yourself. But can I tell you something?"

"All right."

"Joshua introduced me to most of the senior staff earlier this evening. From what I've observed, I certainly don't see them as people to hold a grudge against you. They all had wonderful things to say about you, and I highly doubt they'd think it horrible if you asked them for their forgiveness. If you're feeling the guilt you are, I don't see that as an unreasonable request. And if you heard their forgiveness voiced allowed, would that help you?"

Kristin thought for a moment. "I suppose it would."

"Well, that's what you need to do then."

"But I'm not sure I can-"

Kimberly took a plain, white notebook tablet out of her bag and a pencil and placed it on the table in front of Kristin. "Yes, you can. We'll do it together if you'd like. I won't leave you alone if you don't feel comfortable. But that's something that can wait. First, we're going to get back to our visualization exercise, if you think you're ready."

Kristin's brow furrowed, still somewhat confused at what exactly she was going to do. "I suppose."

"Good. I want you to pick the pencil up, please, and write down everything troubling you right now: all the emotions and the memories that are weighing you down. There's no need to rush. Take your time."

Kristin took a deep breath and slowly picked up the pencil as if it were a dangerous weapon. Then she brought the tip to the paper and slowly began writing. Then as her mind began to open and think of everything that had been worrying her, she began writing faster as she filled a quarter of the page. Then she filled half the page. And by the time she was finished, she'd filled a whole page. She set the pencil down then, reading through everything she'd written down silently.

"Are you finished?"

"I think so," she replied.

"Good. Now I want you to close your eyes and think of the painful words you've just written out. Think of the burden these unhealthy emotions have created for you. Realize that you must release the past, for the past cannot be changed and such useless, guilty emotions only rob you of your power."

Kristin then heard Kimberly whispering gently in her ear. "Let go of the past, Kristin."

"I'm trying," she responded.

"Open your eyes and rip that piece of paper off the tablet," Kimberly instructed. "Then crumple it up and place it in the brazier."

Kristin did so, and before Kimberly told her what to do next, she already knew. She picked up the candle and set the paper to flames.

She then felt Kimberly's arm go around her shoulders. "This is a time for metamorphosis and rebirth for you. That fire is now burning inside of you, and you must not let your guilt and pain extinguish it again. You have to believe you have the power to change things now."

Strange as it was, this simple exercise did indeed help her. Kristin felt invigorated, a new energy coursing through her veins. As the fire began to dim, she wrapped her arms around Kimberly's neck, giving her a grateful hug. "I don't know how I can ever repay you."

Kimberly returned the embrace. "Just keep believing you can overcome this. That'll be thanks enough."


	52. I'm The King of The Great Escape

"Where do we go from here?" Kristin asked.

Kimberly shook her head. "You're asking the wrong person."

"What?"

Kimberly picked up the notepad and handed it to Kristin. " _You_ are in control, remember? That's another thing that robs you of your power: not feeling in control."

"But I'm not in control," Kristin protested. "If I was…well, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

Kimberly sighed and motioned to the table. "Have a seat."

Kristin's brow furrowed, not quite sure what she had in mind, but she did as she was told.

"You're right," Kimberly replied. "You might not be in _complete_ control. But throwing your hands up in the air and saying you have no control whatsoever isn't going to help you either. There are some things you _can_ control, and realizing that will help you gain your power back."

"But…how?"

"We're going to write down your goals for the next few days. Now when I say goals, I mean those that are easily attainable. They can be something as simple as getting out of bed in the morning."

Kristin let out a snort in response.

"Don't sell yourself short. I think that's quite an accomplishment these days for you. I'm sure there are times you want to stay there and not move," Kimberly continued. "So as I said, you're going to write down easily attainable goals for the next few days: those which you _can_ control. This will be your game plan, your guide. You can tape it to the wall if you'd like, check things off as you accomplish them. It's going to help you see the progress you've made. Just avoid anything too lofty." She placed a hand on Kristin's shoulder. "Take your time, and I'll be right here if you need help."

Kristin stared down at the white piece of paper before her for several minutes. _Easily attainable goals?_ She gave a slight shake of her head. She wasn't quite sure what she was supposed to be writing. She knew where she hoped to end up at the end of all this. But she knew full well Kimberly wanted her to break it down into small steps to be able to reach that ultimate goal, only she wasn't sure where to start. She picked up the pencil and wrote a number one at the top of her page, but she wasn't sure what to write after that. She cradled her chin in her hand, looking up at Kimberly.

"Having a little trouble?" she asked softly, moving to sit next to her.

Kristin nodded. "I know where I want to end up, but I'm not sure where to start."

"Okay, well, let's start with that." She picked up the notepad and flipped to a clean sheet of paper. "Write where you want to end up in large letters," she instructed.

Kristin did so. _By the end of the week, I hope to help Sylvia cross over, and I would like to be back on the_ _ **seaQuest**_ _with the rest of the crew_ , she wrote.

"Wonderful," Kimberly said when Kristin was finished. She then read the sentence out loud. "Okay, what are the steps you should take to get there?"

Kristin gave a light shrug.

Kimberly smiled. "What did we just do with the candle and the brazier?"

"We purged old guilt and emotions so I can try to move on and forgive myself," Kristin replied.

"Run with that forgiveness idea. Remember what else we said you need to do?"

"Ask the others for forgiveness?"

"Exactly. That's your first easily attainable goal: talk to your friends and ask them for forgiveness."

Kristin turned back to the first page and wrote that next to the number one. "Well, then we talked about forgiving Frank Knox."

Kimberly nodded. "But I think we need to do a few things before that." She paused. "Have you decided whether you're going to do the hypnosis or not?"

"I…think so," she replied quietly. "It really seems like the best way to encounter Knox; I'd rather see him in a controlled environment rather than…the way he and I have been meeting lately. I'd feel safer."

"Okay, I'm glad to hear that. I was hoping that was the decision you'd make, but then there's a few other things you need to understand. The stronger and healthier you are physically, the better things are going to go. That means you need to be sure you eat and drink properly. Joshua mentioned you had a little trouble in that department?"

She looked down at her hands. "When I'm under stress, eating isn't at the top of my list."

Kimberly put an arm around her shoulders. "Oh, there's no need to explain, sweetie. You're no different than a lot of people, but in this case, you need to remember how vital it is that you keep your strength up. If your physical body is as strong as it can be, then your spiritual body will benefit as well. And since your spiritual body will be encountering Knox, you need to do all you can for it, understand?"

Kristin nodded. "I promise I'll eat and drink properly. Nathan will see to that if I don't." She wrote that down as her next goal.

"He does seem intent on being sure you take care of yourself," Kimberly replied with a laugh. "You're very lucky."

"Yes, I know." She paused for a moment. "Could I ask you something that's been bothering me a bit?"

"Of course. What's on your mind?"

"Talking about the forgiveness factor, we've established I need to forgive Frank Knox, and I'm working on forgiving myself. But what about Sylvia? It's clear that her hate for Frank Knox would be even more deep-seated than mine. Wouldn't she need to forgive Knox to cross over?"

Kimberly remained thoughtful for a few minutes. "That's a good point, but the next hypnosis is really for _you_. This forgiveness is for _you_ to move on, not necessarily for Knox. You realize that?"

Kristin nodded. "But what about Sylvia? How is she going to be able to move on? Jack mentioned she's angry and confused about what happened to her. That's why she's stuck. And really, doesn't her happiness affect me? Even if I make it through everything with flying colors, it won't make a bit of difference if she remains stuck in the same place."

"You're right," she said with a sigh. She hesitated. "I hadn't wanted to tell you this, but-"

"I already know the hypnosis could be dangerous," Kristin interrupted.

Kimberly gave her a look.

"I wasn't born yesterday," she replied quietly. "Since we're both doctors, I can tell when someone is withholding information…not because you want to intentionally deceive, but because if the patient knows the truth, it could be devastating. Also, Nathan confirmed my suspicions were correct when I asked him. He didn't divulge details, and I don't want to know. But I want you to know I am aware."

"Very well, but there is one detail you need to know. When Lillian used your body, how did you feel afterwards?"

"Exhausted, but that was-"

"It doesn't matter whether you believed it was nitrogen narcosis or not," Kimberly told her. "And every time you've seen Sylvia, how did you feel afterwards…physically?"

"Exhausted," she replied. "And ill."

"And with Jack?"

"The same…" She sighed. "Joshua explained this to me before. It drains my energy."

"Exactly. I don't feel comfortable putting you under hypnosis right now in order to talk to Sylvia. Sylvia herself…I hope she'd know if she could bring you into her world without hurting you."

Kristin shook her head. "But I have no control over that. I mean, I can't talk to her like I did before. I can't just call out to her and instantly hear a reply, much as I'd like."

"I know, but you are the only connection to her in this world right now. I just need to do what I think is ethical, and I'm not going to put you into any danger than I think is necessary. My biggest concern is you, not Sylvia right now. You understand?"

Kristin gave a quiet nod, averting her gaze.

Kimberly clasped a hand over Kristin's. "Look, Sylvia's told you she's still with you, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"Then I'm sure you two will figure it out. I'm sorry; I wish I had a better answer for you."

"It's all right," Kristin replied. "I can't say I don't understand. I do appreciate the fact you're worried about my well-being."

"Well, why don't we finish this list, hm?"

Kristin nodded and started writing down what they'd discussed about the hypnosis and forgiving Frank Knox. "Then I suppose after the hypnosis would be retrieving the letter, providing everything goes as planned."

"Okay, good." Kimberly then turned the page. "And that leads us to…da, da, da." She made a dramatic gesture with her arms. "Your ultimate goal. Now that you've broken it down into smaller steps, doesn't this seem more easily attainable?"

Kristin looked through the list and then turned the page. "Actually, it does."

"I'm glad. Of course, you need to pace yourself. You don't want to do everything at once, but I think this will help you feel more in control of the situation and realize that there are things you can do to help this along. And the moment you accomplish one of these steps, cross it off your list and congratulate yourself. Feel proud and happy, okay?"

"I'll try," Kristin said with a smile. "Thank you again."

"It was my pleasure. Well, do you think you're ready to go back to your room? I'm sure we've inconvenienced the captain long enough, don't you think?"

Kristin waved a hand. "If I know Nathan, he's probably listening at the door. But I suppose I'd better assure him that I'm fine."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

After cleaning up the balcony, Kristin and Kimberly started towards the adjoining door. Kristin, however, stopped short when she heard familiar voices, ones that weren't coming from the television.

"What's wrong?" Kimberly asked, noting Kristin's hesitation.

"It sounds like we've got company," she replied. "I wanted to see the others; I just didn't plan on it being so soon. I thought I'd have more time to prepare."

"You're still worried they're angry with you?"

Kristin shook her head. "I'm not sure. I just…"

"Remember, you don't need to accomplish everything on that list right away. Take your time. Ask Nathan to help you if you'd like. Just relax. Take a deep breath. Good. Now another."

After several deep breaths, Kristin felt she had mustered up the strength to turn the door handle. When she did, everyone in the other room turned to look at her. And it was indeed almost everyone from the senior staff. The only ones not there were Joshua and Chiefs Shan and Crocker. Kristin tried to be cheerful, hoping to break the ice a bit. "Having a party without me?" she said with a small smile.

Nathan moved to her side, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Actually, everyone came by to see _you_. I've been trying to keep them entertained while you've been away." He leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "Everything go all right?"

She nodded. "Everything's fine; I'll have to tell you all about it later," she whispered back.

"The captain was just telling us about his unfortunate encounter outside," Ben said.

Kristin's smile faded as she quickly realized what Ben meant: Nathan's cheek. She felt a shiver run up her spine as began to tremble slightly. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean…" she began nervously. "I-"

She felt Nathan's hands rub her shoulders in a calming gesture. "Yeah, well, I was just lucky I wasn't alone when I walked into that bloody tree."

"W-what?" Kristin asked.

"The tree branches that scratched my face," Nathan replied. "Did you forget so quickly?" He then leaned in closer to her hear. "I figured they didn't need to know the truth. Just calm down, all right?"

She gave a nod and took a deep breath. "Oh, um, right. I guess I did forget," she recovered quickly.

"You did a great job on patching him," Lucas piped up, "but I'm jealous he might have a scar." He stepped forward and wrapped the doctor in a hug. "But I'll live with that," he whispered in her ear.

"I'm glad to hear that," she replied, her tone matching his. As she broke the embrace, she asked, "When did you get back? Did you have a good time? How is your father?" She then noticed Lucas' smile fade as he and the captain exchanged a glance. "He cancelled?" she asked Lucas quietly.

Lucas nodded, giving her a grin. "Yeah, but he says we'll get together soon. I'm fine about it, though. Don't worry about me." He nodded towards Ben, Tim, Miguel, and Jonathan. "The guys took me out and showed me a good time. We had fun."

"We sure did," Ben said, moving to hug Kristin as well. "He's really okay with it, Doc," he assured her.

Kristin nodded and whispered a, "Thank you," to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. As Ben broke the hug, she turned to see the others lined up.

"You didn't think we were going to let Ben have all the fun, did you?" Katie said, holding out her arms.

Kristin gratefully entered her embrace, feeling tears sting her eyes.

The others followed suit, and someone handed Kristin a tissue by time everyone was finished.

She dabbed at her eyes. "This is really a wonderful surprise. I'm glad you're all here. I've missed you."

"That's exactly why we're here," Ben replied. "Because we've missed you, and we're just glad to see you're feeling better. It's a reunion of sorts."

Kimberly, who was still standing near the adjoining door stepped forward and gently pulled Kristin aside. "It looks like you're in good hands. I think I should probably go, unless you want me to stay?"

Kristin looked back towards the small group gathered around the room, thinking.

"Just remember, you don't need to do everything on that list right this instant."

Kristin nodded. "I think I'll be okay. Thank you for checking, though."

"Of course, dear," Kimberly said, giving her a hug goodnight. "How about I stop in sometime tomorrow?"

"That would be wonderful, thank you."

"Anytime. Goodnight…and have fun." Kimberly then bid the others a quick goodnight and left the room.

"Well, we won't stay too long if you need your rest," Ben stated, "but we did bring you a few presents to keep you occupied since the captain informed us you're still supposed to be resting."

Nathan ushered her to sit down on the sofa, and he sat next to her.

"Oh, but I feel much better," Kristin told them. "I certainly hope you don't plan on leaving right away."

"We won't if you don't want us to," Katie told her. "But you speak up the minute you've had too much."

"I will," Kristin replied as Katie placed a large box wrapped in white paper with baby blue seahorses and lavender seashells topped with a baby blue bow. "But you didn't need to get me anything."

"We wanted to," Jonathan assured her.

"There's a little something in there from each of us…sort of a get well kit, if you will," Ben explained. "And these go with it." He motioned to a vase sitting in the center of the table filled with a dozen yellow roses.

Kristin hadn't noticed them before. "Oh, those are lovely," she replied. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Go ahead, open the box now," Ben urged her.

Kristin carefully lifted the lid and peeked inside. The box was stuffed with all kinds of goodies. "Oh, my; I'm not sure where to start."

Lucas leaned over her shoulder. "At the top is usually a good way to go."

Kristin shot him a smile and took the first thing off the top. "A book of inspirational stories," she muttered.

"That's from me," Tim replied. "I thought it might keep you occupied while you're resting, and I was hoping it might cheer you up if you're feeling a little down."

She gave him a nod and mouthed a, "Thank you," as she reached for the next item. The moment she picked it up, she knew who it was from. It was a copy of _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory_. "Oh, Lucas," she gushed. "Thank you."

He gave a shrug. "Well, I figured since you didn't get to finish it the other night, you should have your own copy you can watch anytime you'd like. Maybe you and I could watch it together sometime?"

"I'd love that; thank you, dear." She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

She continued rifling through the box. Katie gave her a bath and body basket with lavender lotion, candles, and aromatherapy bath beads, and Miguel gave her a small dolphin figurine that happened to look identical to Darwin. There were just two more items left in the box, but they were both wrapped up.

She chose a rectangular box wrapped in blue paper first. She carefully unwrapped it, and when she lifted the lid, she found it was a photograph of the whole crew. "Oh," she breathed softly. "This is lovely; I don't have one of all of us. When was this taken?"

"After our little run-in with Marilyn Stark," Jonathan told her. "I thought you'd like the frame it was in too."

Kristin ran her hand across the bottom of the silver frame. There, etched in the metal, were images of seashells. "Oh, I do, thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied.

She then picked up the last box and glanced at Ben. "Well, what in the world could this be?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he teased. "Just open it."

"I won't regret it, will I?" she asked with a wink as she began unwrapping the small package. She was surprised when she saw what it was. "Playing cards and poker chips?"

"Yeah, I hope it's okay. It's been a while since we've all played. What do you say?"

Kristin hesitated; the realization that everyone just gave her such lovely presents when she hadn't been very kind to them suddenly hit her, causing tears to well up in her eyes once again.

Katie was the first to notice. She squeezed her way through and had a seat next to Kristin, putting an arm around her. "Oh, Doc, what's wrong?"

Kristin shook her head. "I…I just don't…"

"Good going, Ben; your gift made her cry," Lucas muttered.

Kristin waved a hand. "No, it's…it's not his fault. I mean, I appreciate all the gifts. I'll cherish them dearly. I just… I don't know why you're being so sweet to me." She shook her head. "I certainly don't deserve it."

"How can you say that?" Katie asked her, running a hand through Kristin's hair. "You've done so much for us in the past; why wouldn't we show you how much we care?"

"Because I haven't been very open with all of you lately. I kept things from you, lied even. And you all knew that, didn't you?" Kristin looked down at her hands, wringing them nervously. She felt Katie's arm tighten around her shoulders, she felt Nathan take her hand in his.

There was a long moment of silence before anyone spoke, however.

"I think we're all guilty of withholding information about certain aspects of our lives," Katie finally said. "We all know you were just trying to protect us."

Kristin took a ragged breath. "That still doesn't make it right. I…I was hoping you'd forgive me."

"Oh, Doc, of course we forgive you," Katie replied. "We've already forgiven you long before you asked."

"That's what you do with family," Ben added. "You forgive their shortcomings because you love them. You never had to ask."

Kristin felt tears threaten to fall once again as a lump formed in her throat. She covered her mouth with one hand, hoping to stifle it, but the sob escaped nonetheless.

"Oh, Doc, shh," Katie soothed softly, wrapping her arms around the older woman.

Kristin gave a nod and did her best to calm down. After a few moments, her cries had stopped. "I'm sorry," she muttered, lifting her head to look at the others. "I appreciate the gifts very much, but I appreciate you all more than you know. I just…sometimes, I don't know what I did to deserve all of you."

"We feel the same way about you, Doc," Ben replied, making his way around the sofa to kneel in front of her. He wrapped her in a tight hug. "But please, don't cry anymore. This is supposed to be a happy time."

She nodded. "I am happy, I promise."

"Good. Now how about some poker?"

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

They spent hours talking, laughing, and playing several games of poker. Kristin won every hand, but she was sure the others were letting her win. She didn't mind that, though; she was just enjoying being with them. She'd forgotten how much she missed them. Not only that, what Kimberly had said began to fall into place for her a bit more. She was sure she didn't want to lose her position, so she was more determined than ever to make sure she accomplished the goals she'd written down. She couldn't imagine life without the others…and she was fairly sure they couldn't imagine life without her.

By the fifth hand, however, Kristin's attention span was waning. As she looked at the cards in front of her, the face values of the cards blurred together. She tried to stifle a yawn because she could see the others were still having fun, but she couldn't help it.

"You know, I think we should call it a night," Nathan finally said. "You could all come back tomorrow."

Kristin shook her head. "No, it's all right. We can finish this hand."

"You look like you're going to fall asleep right here," he told her.

"The captain's right," Katie said. "We can always play more tomorrow. You promised us you'd get enough rest."

Kristin nodded, this time, not adding a protest. She was tired, and although she was grateful the others had stopped by, she wasn't sure she could stay awake much longer.

The group helped clean up, said their good nights, and left the room.

"Well, that was a lovely evening," Kristin said as soon as she and Nathan were alone.

"I'm glad you thought so. You sure you're all right with everything now?"

"I'm not completely all right, but I'm getting there." She told him about the list Kimberly helped her make. "It doesn't seem so impossible for everything to turn out all right now."

Nathan placed a kiss to her forehead. "I'm glad to hear it." He paused and looked at her for a moment.

"What?"

"I was just deciding if I should give you the present I got for you now…or if you'd like to wait?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You got me a present too? When did you have time for that? And why? I think you've done more than enough for me. I-"

He sighed and walked into his side of the room, coming out with a small black velvet box with a small gold bow. "I bought this shortly after we got back…and that was before things between us became strained." He paused, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Please know I'm okay with that, though. This is…just a token of my friendship." He handed her the box. "I hope you like it."

Kristin flipped open the lid and gasped softly; inside was a gold locket. She looked at him, her brow furrowing slightly.

"I know how devastated you were when you lost Sylvia's ring. My original plan was to get you a ring that looked identical to it, but then I thought differently. I figured there was no replacing that." He took the box from her and placed the locket around her neck, helping her fasten it. He then ushered her into the bathroom, turned on the light, and moved her to stand in front of the mirror so she could see. He then opened the locket, and there inside was a photograph of Sylvia. "But I figured this was still a way she could be close to your heart."

"How…how did you…" Kristin began in shock.

"Find the photo?" Nathan finished. "When were at the museum the other day, I asked. This, of course, was before your fainting spell. Do you…do you like it?"

She turned to him. "Oh, of course I do. I love it." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. "But you didn't need to. I haven't given you anything."

Nathan returned the hug. "I wanted to. And you have given me more than you know." He paused for a moment. "Well, I suppose I should let you get some sleep." He turned to leave, but Kristin caught his arm.

"You don't…need to go, if you don't want to. I mean...I'd like it if you stayed."

Nathan gave her a smile, and put an arm around her shoulders. "I'd like that too."


	53. You're Not Gonna Watch Me Checkin'

Kristin lay on the bed, propping her head up with one hand as she glanced up at Nathan. "What about Lucas?"

"I think he'd rather sleep alone," he quipped.

She laughed softly. "That's not exactly what I meant, and you know it." She nodded her head towards the adjoining door. "With his father not coming to see him after all, I'm worried he might have been…trying to put on a brave face for you and me." She pushed herself up to her knees. "I know I said I wanted you to stay, but he might need you more than I do. I think you should at least talk to him."

Nathan sat down on the bed next to her, placing an arm around her shoulders. "I did while you and Kimberly were still talking. When I saw he was with everyone else, I pulled him aside. He assured me he was really fine. With Lawrence being so engrossed in the World Power Project, Lucas knew he wouldn't have his full attention anyway. That's not the way he wanted to see his father. Lawrence promised him that he'd see him soon."

"And the cat's in the cradle," Kristin said with a sigh. "You know how that might work."

"Don't think I've given up on giving Doctor Wolenczak a piece of my mind, though. I plan on it, but we need to choose our battles. And at the moment, I think we're fighting more than enough right now, wouldn't you say?"

She gave a quiet nod, averting her gaze.

"I forgot to tell you he's staying in Ben's room tonight anyway. He invited him over to watch movies, eat junk food, that kind of thing. In fact, every one of the senior staff members has been extra attentive to Lucas. He's fine. Don't worry, all right?"

"I'll try not to. I'm glad the others are being so kind to him."

"So am I." He paused. "I thought you were tired, though?"

"I am; exhausted, actually," she said with a yawn.

"Then why don't we get some sleep, okay?"

"Of course," she replied, lying down and trying to get into a comfortable position as Nathan did the same. He then pulled her close, and she laid her head on his chest, listening to the soft thump of his heartbeat.

As tired as she was, however, Kristin's mind wandered, preventing her from relaxing completely. Her main worry now was the hypnosis; no, it was nothing she hadn't done before, but the stakes were higher now, she knew. Not only that, she figured she ought to let Nathan know that was her ultimate decision. She lifted her head for a moment, wondering if she should mention it now. But when Nathan didn't stir, she decided he was already asleep. She sighed and lay back down. That would probably be a conversation best saved for morning anyway, she decided.

No matter how Nathan felt, it really didn't matter anyway. If she wanted things to go back to the way they were before they found the chest…well, at least for the most part…there were no negotiations. She had to go through with it.

But then she had Sylvia to worry about. If she was going to put herself in danger once again for her, there was no way she was going to let it all be for naught. She had to figure out a way she could speak to Sylvia…but how? Kimberly already told her she wouldn't facilitate it, and Kristin didn't blame her for that in the least. Obviously, she'd taken the Hippocratic Oath just as Kristin had; as a doctor, she sympathized with Kimberly's position, and she was grateful that she was concerned about her physical health.

She let out a sigh and turned to stare at Nathan. Maybe he wasn't asleep yet after all.

"You're having trouble getting to sleep, hm?" he muttered without opening his eyes.

"A little. I'm tired, but I can't get my mind to relax."

"Roll over on your stomach," he told her.

"What?"

"Just trust me. Roll over."

Kristin relented and rolled over. "I don't quite-" She stopped short when she felt his hands begin to knead the back of her neck and her shoulders. "Oh…that feels heavenly."

"Ssh, just relax," he whispered. "Let's see if we can ease that tension a bit."

Kristin took a deep breath and did her best to do as he said. She closed her eyes and instantly felt drowsy. She heard Nathan shift positions, lying down once again, but he continued to massage her back and neck. It wasn't long before Kristin found herself yawning.

"Do you think you can finally sleep now?" Nathan asked after several minutes.

She gave a nod. "I think so. Thank you."

"Anytime." He pulled her close to him. "We'll talk in the morning about whatever's been on your mind. That is, if you want to."

Kristin nodded against his chest. "Goodnight."

"Sleep well."

Kristin absentmindedly touched the locket around her neck, thoughts of Sylvia on her mind as she finally dozed off.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

" _Kristin? Kristin?"_

" _Mhm," she mumbled. "Go 'way. I just want to sleep."_

_A soft, melodic laugh followed. "All right, but just remember,_ _**you** _ _called me."_

_Kristin's eyes popped open. She realized she wasn't in the bed of her hotel room at all, and Nathan was nowhere near her. She was lying on a blanket on the same, familiar beach she'd created in her mind. The sun was warm and pleasant, and the waves were gently lapping onto the shore. She sat up and saw Sylvia sitting in front of her, a smile on her face. Kristin placed a hand to her cheek. "Sylvia?"_

" _In the flesh." She paused. "Well, you know what I mean."_

_Kristin shook her head. "I wasn't sure I'd see you again...after the last time…" She suddenly looked around nervously. "Are…are we alone?"_

_Sylvia's brow furrowed slightly, as though she was trying to remember the last time. She gave her a reassuring smile. "As far as I know." She lowered her gaze. "I wanted to apologize about our last meeting. I didn't quite realize… I never meant for that to happen." She placed her hands on Kristin's shoulders. "Are you all right? Did…did he hurt you?"_

_Kristin hesitated. Truthfully, their encounters all blended together, so remembering what exactly had transpired was a little difficult. All she remembered was that she'd been terrified, that Frank Knox held her hostage and… Well, she couldn't recall all the details, but she knew the experience had been less than pleasant. "I'm all right now…but what about you?"_

_Sylvia's eyes widened slightly, as though she'd never been asked such a question before…or at least not lately._

" _Sylvia?"_

_She then waved a hand. "Oh, I'm used to it by now. You don't need to worry." She stood and offered her hand. "Why don't we take a walk, hm? It's such a lovely day."_

_Kristin, however, refused to take her hand. "That isn't what I asked you. Besides, I'd rather stay right here and talk. We have a lot to hash out."_

_Sylvia didn't answer. She simply turned and walked down the shore a few feet, staring out at the water._

_Kristin sighed and pushed herself to her feet. "We don't have a lot of time for games, you know. Things are much more complicated than either of us thought. I-"_

" _Game?" Sylvia turned to her, dark eyes flashing with anger. "Maybe it was a game to you, but it was never a game to me."_

" _That's not what I meant. I just was trying to-"_

_Sylvia shook her head. "I assure you, this is no game." She turned back to the water, arms crossed over her chest._

_Kristin let out a deep sigh. She carefully approached her. "I…I apologize for my poor word choice. I never meant to call this a game. Do…do you think we could start over, please?"_

_A few moments later, Sylvia relented, turning back around to face her. "I didn't mean to fly off the handle quite like that. It's just… Things have been very stressful lately."_

" _Tell me about it," Kristin replied. "It hasn't been a picnic for me either."_

_Sylvia was quiet for several minutes before speaking again, her voice calmer and quieter this time. "To answer your question, I'm fine for the time being. Before…not so much, but I'll survive. I always do."_

_Kristin simply nodded, unsure of what else to say._

" _So, why is it you're here?"_

_Kristin raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you bring me here?"_

_Sylvia smiled softly and shook her head. "It might seem that way, but that's not the case._ _**You're** _ _the one in control."_

" _But how? I didn't…"_

_Sylvia sighed. "Remember I told you where this beach is?"_

" _In my mind…"_

" _Exactly. The only way I could come here is if you summoned_ _ **me**_ _. Well, more like your subconscious mind did the summoning, but you get the point." Sylvia turned to sit on a nearby rock. "So…why is it you've brought me here?"_

_Kristin, however, couldn't bring herself to answer. She didn't understand how she could be in control. She didn't feel that way. And did that mean she was in control every other time?_

" _Kristin? Honey, you don't look very well." Sylvia ushered her to sit down. "I guess I dropped a bit of a bombshell on you."_

" _I don't quite understand how I could be the one in control. Was I…before…every other time?"_

" _It's…complicated, but the answer is…somewhat." She paused for a brief moment. "It's been a long time since I've seen a movie, but you've seen_ _ **The Wizard of Oz**_ _?"_

_Kristin gave a quiet nod._

" _Good. Okay, you know at the end where Dorothy wants to go home, and Glinda tells her she had the power to do that all along?"_

" _Yes…but what in the world does that have to do with this? Are you saying all I need to do is click my heels and this will all go away?"_

" _I wish it were that easy, but no, that's not what I'm saying. What I meant was that you have great power within you, and you had the power to summon me all along. Anytime you needed me, actually."_

_Kristin shook her head in disbelief. "Why in the world didn't you tell me that before?"_

" _Because you had to discover it for yourself…just like Dorothy," Sylvia replied simply. "Besides, if you had known it before, it might have been too dangerous because doing so-"_

" _Drains my energy?" Kristin finished._

" _Exactly. How did you know?"_

" _Lucky guess," she said with a shrug. "But what about Frank Knox? Am I in control of him too?"_

" _If only it were that simple…" Sylvia said with a sigh. She shook her head. "Unfortunately, no."_

" _But if this is the place I've created, how in the world can he enter? Is it possible my subconscious mind has brought him here?"_

" _It's not that at all. It's more that Frank Knox has breached your subconscious mind, invaded it without your permission. He's a parasite who feeds off your energy. Apparently, mine wasn't enough for him anymore." She took a deep breath. "I'm afraid for you, Kristin. I haven't figured out a way to get rid of him yet."_

" _That's actually why I wanted to speak with you. I suppose that's why my subconscious mind summoned you. We're not sure, but Jack seems to think that-"_

" _Jack?" She brought a hand to her chest. "_ _ **My**_ _Jack? You spoke to him?"_

_Kristin nodded. "Apparently, my mind's been busy." She let out a sigh. "Though Jack did say he pulled me to him…" She shook her head. "I suppose it doesn't really matter, but the point is, he had a lot of insight on the situation."_

_Sylvia's brow furrowed. "You mean he knows about all this?"_

" _He's been watching from Heaven. He never mentioned how he did it, but I'm assuming he pulled a lot of strings in order to speak with me."_

_Sylvia averted her gaze, her voice barely above a whisper as she spoke, "If he'd been watching, why didn't he come to me?"_

" _I can't really answer that," Kristin replied. "He had a message to give, so that's why he spoke to me, I suppose. That's what I need to tell you. He told me this is about forgiveness, and-"_

_Sylvia stood and shook her head. "If he could come to you, why couldn't he come to me, rescue me from this hell?"_

_Kristin stood as well and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders. "I wish I could answer that," she said with a sigh, "but we honestly don't have time to speculate. What Jack told me was very important, and-"_

_Sylvia, however, held up a halting hand. "I can't…" She gently removed Kristin's arm and turned to walk away._

" _Where are you going?" Kristin asked, debating if she should go after her._

" _I just need some time. I'm sorry."_

_Kristin hadn't anticipated Sylvia being angry about Jack coming to her, but then, she should have expected it. She'd been angry when she found out Jack had been watching too. She watched Sylvia's form in the distance getting smaller and smaller. She let out a deep sigh, sitting back down on the ground. She knew if she went after her, it was probably going to cause more of a problem. Hopefully, she'd calm down enough to where Kristin could talk civilly with her. She pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned her chin on them._

" _I'm in control," she said weakly. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, come on, Kristin; say it like you believe it." She paused and took a deep breath. "I'm in control," she said again, this time sounding a bit more confident. She looked up at the sky. "Sylvia, I command you to come here this instant."_

_She waited a moment, but nothing happened. "Hmmm," she thought aloud. "If I'm like Dorothy, she always had someone to help her along her journey. I doubt there are any Munchkins around, and I don't foresee a good witch in a large bubble showing up any time soon. Perhaps I can find a yellow brick road?" She stood and looked all around her, but of course, there was no road of any kind. She didn't expect one anyway. She wasn't sure what she expected, actually._

_Another sigh escaped her lips as she crossed her arms over her chest. She looked in the direction Sylvia had gone, hoping to see her coming back, only she wasn't. Kristin wondered if she should go after her. She certainly didn't want to wait around all day for her…or all night…whatever it may be. Suddenly, a shiver ran down her spine, despite the balmy weather, as a thought occurred to her: what if Frank Knox had gotten to Sylvia?_

_Kristin shook her head. She said a silent prayer, hoping that wasn't the case and debated for a moment whether or not she should look for her. She didn't really want to see Frank Knox at all. She'd quite enjoyed her time away from him and hoped it stayed that way, but at the same time, she desperately needed to speak with Sylvia. She needed to tell her what she needed to do, or she feared Sylva would remain a prisoner in this realm. Kristin wasn't about to let that happen._

_She took a deep breath and set out down the beach. She cupped her hands around her mouth, about to call Sylvia's name, but opted against it. If Frank Knox was lurking around, she decided it best not to draw attention to herself or Sylvia. She decided she'd just have to use her eyes. Strangely, however, once she got past the shores of the beach, she seemed to know exactly where she was going, evidence that perhaps Sylvia had been correct: that Kristin was indeed in control._

_Kristin came to a clearing with three different paths. "I wonder which path I should take," she muttered aloud._

" _I think you should go down the first one," an unfamiliar voice said._

_Kristin startled a bit as she looked around for a face to match the voice. "Who…who said that?"_

" _But the second one looks like it could be nice as well."_

_Kristin continued to search all around her again, but she still didn't see who the voice belonged to. "Show yourself, please!" she called, trying to keep her voice steady._

" _Though I've heard the third has some lovely flowers at the end. I bet they smell heavenly."_

" _I…I don't quite like the joke," Kristin said after a moment. "Tell me who you are!"_

" _Of course, if you're feeling adventurous, you could try all three."_

_Kristin put her head in her hands. She had to be going mad, she decided. She must have been hearing voices. There was absolutely no one else there, she was sure of it. She shook her head and turned back to the three paths, trying to decide which Sylvia might have taken._

" _Still can't decide?"_

" _No, I-" Kristin turned around again as she realized that she wasn't just hearing things. "Is someone else there?"_

" _I think you should go down the first one." A gloved hand immediately poked out of the thick vegetation to the right of the paths._

_Kristin carefully approached the person. "Why are you hiding back there? Why don't you come out so I can see your face?"_

" _I would, but I appear to be stuck. It's been a long time since anyone's come by."_

_Kristin used her hands to pull the leaves, branches, and vines away until she revealed… Her hand rose to her mouth as she gasped. It was a scarecrow, a living, breathing scarecrow; not only that, he looked suspiciously like Nathan...or perhaps Jack? It really didn't matter who he bore a resemblance to, but it was…very strange. "I…I don't believe it. How…?"_

_The scarecrow smiled. "You created this place, so I suppose I came from your mind. I'm here to help you."_

_Kristin raised an eyebrow. "Do…do I need to help you off that pole too?"_

_The scarecrow brought a finger to his chin, tapping gently as if he were in deep thought. "It is a little uncomfortable," he admitted. "I've been up here for ages. I believe if you just bend that nail down in the back, I'll slip off."_

_Kristin moved around to the back of the wooden pole and pushed down on the nail with all her might. When the scarecrow finally toppled to the ground, she let out a soft cry and quickly moved to his side. "I…I'm terribly sorry. Are you hurt?"_

" _Sorry? What have you got to be sorry for? I'm perfectly fine." He tapped on his chest. "I'm just straw, remember?"_

" _Oh, I suppose I'd forgotten. You'll have to forgive me; you're the first scarecrow I've met. Did…did you happen to see another woman come by this way, by chance?"_

" _Does she look almost exactly like you?"_

_Kristin nodded. "Yes, you see, it's very important I speak with her. So I really need to know which way she might have gone."_

_The scarecrow stood and looked down the first path, thinking for a moment. Then he moved in front of the second path and then the third path, the same expression on his face. "The third path."_

_Kristin took a step forward when the scarecrow said, "No, wait, the first path."_

_She let out a sigh and moved to the first path._

" _Or maybe it was the second path?"_

" _Well, which is it?" Kristin demanded, turning to him and crossing her arms over her chest. "I haven't got time for games, and you-" She stopped when she saw the hurt look on the scarecrow's face. "Oh, no, don't tell me you haven't got a brain."_

" _Actually…" He held up a finger. "I think that's exactly my problem. But as I said, I'm your creation. And I'm just here to help you."_

_Kristin sighed. "Did you actually see my friend?"_

_The scarecrow nodded._

" _Recently?"_

_A pause…and then another nod._

" _Do you remember which way she went? Please, try to remember." She spoke slowly and clearly, as if she were speaking to a small child._

_The scarecrow remained silent for several minutes, and Kristin decided she was completely out of luck with him when he finally said, "I've got it! She went that way!" He pointed down the center path._

" _You're sure?"_

" _Positive."_

_Kristin paused for a moment. "Would you like to come with me?"_

_The scarecrow stared at her for a moment in shock. "No one's ever asked me that before."_

" _Well, now's your chance. It would be nice to have a little company along the way." She held out her arm. "What do you say?"_

_But the scarecrow held up his hands and shook his head. "I'd love to, but this is your journey, not mine. Unless you're going to Oz, I have to stay here."_

" _But-"_

" _Just follow the second path. She'll be waiting at the end. I just know it." The scarecrow then placed a hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle push._

_But Kristin turned back to him. "Wait. I don't know how I can ever repay you…" Her voice trailed off when she realized the scarecrow was gone, as if he were never there in the first place. Kristin shook her head and let out a shaky breath. "Well, it could have been worse, so I'll take a talking scarecrow any day." She turned back around and walked down the second path, hoping she wouldn't run into the tin woodsman or the cowardly lion along the way. She didn't have time for that. And she said a silent prayer that there was no Wicked Witch of the East waiting for her either._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_She was relieved she'd reached the end of the path without encountering any strange beings whatsoever. But then, she didn't see Sylvia waiting for her either. She shook her head. "Now what?" She looked around and breathed a sigh of relief because she did see a familiar-looking form standing near a lush, green field in the distance._

_Kristin ran to her, not wanting to waste any more time. "Sylvia? I've been looking all over for you."_

" _I…I'm sorry. I didn't realize how long I'd been gone." Her voice was thick with emotion as she sniffled quietly._

" _I never meant to make you cry." Kristin approached her carefully and took her hand. "I'm sure Jack didn't want that either. Maybe…maybe he thought if he spoke to you, you wouldn't listen."_

_Sylvia pulled away. "And why would he think that? Did he say something? I…I thought he loved me…"_

" _He does…with all his heart. The last thing he'd want to do is hurt you. I know that. He had just mentioned you were angry, and-"_

" _Well, don't I have the right to be? You've only lived my life for a couple of weeks. Imagine doing it every day and never getting a reprieve." She buried her head in her hands and sobbed softly._

_Kristin stood there for a few moments, wringing her hands together nervously. She tried to think of something comforting to say. "Of…of course you have a right to be angry," she said softly, pulling Sylvia into her arms. "I don't think anyone said you couldn't be. I'm angry for what happened to you. I…I wish it would never have happened. I wish I could change it. But the truth is, I can't. No one can change the past. The only thing we have the power to change is the future."_

_Sylvia said something Kristin couldn't decipher._

_Kristin did her best to soothe and comfort her, and after a few minutes, her sobs quieted. "Jack told me that this was about forgiveness and lessons for everyone involved."_

" _What does that mean?" Sylvia asked weakly._

_Kristin shook her head. "He wouldn't say…or couldn't say. I'm not sure. He suddenly had to leave, but my friends and I spoke about it, and we think we've figured it out. We need to forgive Frank Knox."_

_Sylvia lifted her head and stared at Kristin for a moment, her mouth agape. "You…you mean I'm actually supposed to talk to that monster? Forgive him for what he's done to me?"_

" _I…I know it seems strange, but if you want to move on-"_

_Sylvia shook her head. "You're crazy if you think I'm going to forgive that bastard for the hell he's put me through. He ruined my life. How in the world can I forgive that?"_

_Kristin sighed. "No one said you couldn't be angry at all. But if you're goal is to move on to the other realm, you need to let go of that anger. Forgiveness isn't necessarily for Frank Knox, but for you to find peace."_

_Sylvia didn't reply. She simply crossed her arms over her chest._

" _Look, Sylvia, I know you might not want to hear that, but it's true. Part of the reason you're stuck here is because you can't let go of what you're feeling. If I go and forgive Frank Knox myself, go and retrieve that letter…do everything you asked me to do…it's not going to make one damn bit of difference if you don't move from this place. I agreed to help you, but you need to help yourself too. Not only that, I don't have much time."_

_Sylvia looked at her in surprise._

" _I've been given an ultimatum. I have three days." She paused. "Correction, I probably have only two days now…before the_ _ **seaQuest**_ _leaves. If I don't get back to normal, I'll lose my job. My life will be ruined too. You had said you never wanted any of this to happen to me. I want to believe you, but if you can't make a few sacrifices for me, this seems a little one-sided. If you care anything for me, anything for Jack…you'll do what you need to move on." She placed a hand on her shoulder. "I really have to go, but please, don't let me down."_

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

**December 11, 2019**

"Kristin? Kristin?"

Kristin let out a soft moan as she began to stir. She opened her eyes for a moment, noticed the brightness of the room, and winced, closing them once again. "Na-Nathan?" Her voice was hoarse and weak.

"Yes, it's me, sweetheart. Are you all right? You…you'd been mumbling in your sleep, and I've been trying to wake you for several minutes."

Kristin felt his warm hand touch her forehead.

"You've got a fever," he informed her. "And you look as white as a sheet."

"I…I had to go see Sylvia, and it drains my energy. I'm sorry. But I didn't know how-"

"Ssh," Nathan said. "I'm going to call Joshua or Kimberly. You just rest."

Kristin gave a slight nod, making her head throb. She hadn't quite expected to be so ill when she returned. She then heard Nathan speaking with someone, though she couldn't tell who it was. The voices all blended together and sounded very far away.

A short time later, Nathan returned to her side. "Kimberly's on her way." A cool washcloth was laid across her forehead. "Are you thirsty?"

She shook her head. "You…you were in my dream… I was glad you were there."

Nathan's voice cracked slightly as he replied, "I…I'm glad I was there too. Just rest, sweetie. I promise I won't leave you."


	54. Out Of This Place

Nathan frowned as Kristin continued to mumble softly about her dream.

"You…you were a scarecrow…"

He gave a nod. "You can tell me all about it later, all right? Just try to rest," he whispered as he continued to mop her brow.

"I…I'm so cold…" she mumbled a few minutes later.

Nathan pulled the covers up around her, but as he did so, he could feel the heat radiating from her body, the touch of her skin burning him. He bit his lip in worry. It seemed as though her temperature had spiked several degrees in just a short time. And although he tried to will it away, a sudden memory flashed across his mind.

" _Nathan, I…I'm f-freezing," Carol moaned softly._

_Nathan worked relentlessly to try to get her fever down. "I…I know, sweetheart, I know. But the doctor said-"_

" _I don't care what the doctor said," she replied, trembling from fever. "Please, just let me have a blanket."_

" _All…right." He took the thinnest blanket he could find and draped it over her. "The doctor's on his way; just hold on."_

_When the doctor arrived, he asked Nathan to step out of the room so he could work._

_Nathan hesitated, looking at Carol, who gave a gentle nod._

_By the time Nathan was called back into the room, it was too late. Carol was gone._

Nathan was grateful when a knock at the door pulled him back to reality.

"Captain Bridger?" Kimberly said when he opened the door. "Are you all right? You look a little pale."

"Oh…y-" His voice caught in this throat, and he cleared it nervously. "Yes, I'm fine. Come in, please."

"Joshua should be here shortly as well. From what you described, I thought I could use his help." She walked towards the bed. "You're not feeling so well, sweetie?" she said to Kristin as she sat next to her on the bed.

Kristin scarcely opened her eyes and muttered something Nathan couldn't make out.

"Okay, okay," Kimberly replied, placing a hand on her forehead. "Just rest. We'll get this under control, I promise."

A few moments later, Joshua showed up. Nathan watched as Kimberly and Joshua spoke in hushed tones. Although he couldn't make out what they were saying, he could see them glance at Kristin several times.

After they were finished, Kimberly walked towards Nathan. "I think it would be best for you to leave for a little while."

"Leave?" Nathan shook his head. "But-"

"I know you'd rather stay here." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know you're worried about her-"

"It's just for a little while," Joshua said. "I promise we'll update you as soon as we can."

Nathan looked at Kimberly, who nodded in confirmation.

"We need to get her fever under control before anything; then you should be able to come back in, all right?" she said.

Nathan gave a relenting sigh and nodded. "Very well, but I'm going to be right next door."

"Whatever you want," Kimberly replied, ushering him out. "Though it's a lovely day; a walk might do you good."

Nathan gave a shrug. "I doubt it."

He waited for her retreating footsteps, but was surprised when he felt her take his hand and give it a squeeze.

"I'm worried about her too." She sighed. "I promise I won't let you down." And with that, she left the room, closing the adjoining door behind her.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once alone, Nathan didn't know what to do. He slumped down on the bed, his head in his hands. It was then that he realized he was shaking. Crying sounds from the other room made him jump. He stood and rushed towards the door, deciding that he wasn't going to allow the only other woman he loved since Carol to die on him. Only when he tried the door handle, he found it had been locked.

He sighed and leaned his forehead against the door. The crying grew louder: Kristin's crying. "It hurts," he heard her scream between sobs.

"Ssh." That was Kimberly. "I know, honey, I know, but we're almost finished. We just need to get that fever down. Don't fight it."

Nathan banged his hand on the door in frustration and stepped away. "She's going to be fine. She's not sick like Carol. She'll be fine," he muttered several times over as if it were a mantra. He thought if he said it out loud, he'd believe it…only he didn't sound very convincing.

He paced back and forth in worry, hearing more muffled cries from the other room. At a loss of what to do next, Nathan fell to his knees.

"I know I haven't asked you for anything for a long time. Not since… Well, you know when the last time was." He let out a shaky breath. "I can't go through something like that again. I'm not strong enough. So I'm asking you, _begging_ you, if you have to take someone, take me instead. She…she doesn't deserve it. She's got so much life left to live. Please let me take her place. Just don't take her from me, please."

His voice cracked as tears welled up in his eyes. "Jack…you promised me you'd help me protect her. I…I need your help now more than ever. I don't… I'm not sure how to protect her anymore. Sylvia? You…you made a promise to her. You need to keep it. You need to help me. You need to help _her_. Please, just help her."

When Nathan felt he'd prayed long enough, he pushed himself to his feet. He stared at the door, somewhat surprised that Kristin had grown quiet. He hoped that meant it was over, that perhaps Joshua or Kimberly would be knocking on the door any moment. But five minutes passed, and there was nothing. Ten minutes more, still nothing.

Nathan shook his head, unsure if that was a good sign or a bad one. He needed something to pass the time, something to help him get his mind off of things. He looked towards the window. Maybe he would need to take Kimberly's advice and go out for a bit? But if something happened and he wasn't there… He couldn't bear the thought. He decided it too much of a risk.

He sat down on the end of his bed once again, trying to think of something they might have missed, something that might help them out of this mess. He ran the events of what happened in 1941 up until now through his head. A sudden thought occurred to him then: Kristin wrote letters before she went to meet Richard.

No, Nathan didn't think they'd solve anything, but at that moment, he needed something. He felt that perhaps reading her message to him might give him a small comfort. But did he still have them? He never thought to check his coat when they woke up on the bridge. He started sifting through his suitcase until he found it. He opened up the inner pocket and shoved his hand inside, relieved when he felt the stack of envelopes.

He took them out and sifted through them until he found the one with his name on it. He paused for a moment before opening it. He knew Kristin had told him to only open it if she never returned to him. Would she want him reading it now? He shook his head. He'd confess it to her later if need be, but he needed to know what she'd written. He carefully tore open the envelope and unfolded the letter.

Nathan noticed the delicate script blurred in spots: teardrops. That night had been difficult for both of them, he remembered. He took a deep breath before beginning to read silently.

_My dearest Nathan,_

_If you're reading this, that means I can no longer be with you. Just the thought of it now tears my heart in two, and I want you to know how sorry I am that this happened. I know after you lost Carol that you never expected to have feelings for another woman. I never expected to have feelings for another man. Fate had different plans for us, though._

_And I am so grateful. I thank the Lord every day that you've come into my life. You have made my last days so wonderful. Thank you for loving me. And even though I can no longer be by your side, please know I'll always be with you. I am confident we'll meet again one day._

_I wish you all the happiness that we might have shared, my darling. I pray you live a long, happy life. Until we meet again, I'll be loving you. Please remember I'll always love you._

_Forever yours,_

_Kristin_

By the time Nathan had reached the last line, the words on the page began to blur. He folded the letter carefully once again so that he wouldn't ruin the ink with his own tears. He then wiped at his eyes; he knew the letter was written before Kristin decided she just wanted to be friends, but he felt sure that she still felt this way about him; she only pushed him away because of the situation at hand. Had none of this happened…well, he knew things would be quite different. More quiet tears slid down his cheeks at the thought.

But then a knock sounded on the adjoining door, and Nathan wiped them away once again. "Come in," he said after clearing his throat. The door opened, and Nathan was somewhat relieved to see it was Kimberly; he hoped that meant his prayer had been answered.

"Captain?" she said when she saw his face. "Are…are you all right?"

He waved a hand and stood. "I…I'm fine. How…how is she?"

Kimberly hesitated. "Well, we've finally got her fever down to a manageable level, and we've given her some acetaminophen for that as well."

"So she'll be fine?"

"I…" Kimberly let out a sigh. "I don't want to get your hopes up…or anyone's for that matter. Physically, no, she's not fine. Not at the moment, anyway."

"But before…"

"I know how she was before," she replied. "She was on the road to recovery, but I might have…made a bit of a mistake."

Nathan shook his head and walked towards the door. "I need to see her."

But Kimberly caught his arm. "It won't do any good."

"What do you mean?"

"Because we gave her a mild sedative," Joshua answered from the doorway. "She needs rest, and she was too combative with us. It's for her own good."

Nathan looked down at the floor, not offering a reply. He wasn't sure what to say.

A few moments passed before Kimberly spoke again, her words careful and deliberate. "As I said, I made a bit of a mistake. During our therapy session last night, Kristin had asked me if Sylvia would need to forgive Frank Knox as well."

"Of course she does," Nathan replied quietly.

"Yes, but I'm not here to help Sylvia. I came here to help Kristin and while Sylvia is connected to that, she's not my concern. Sylvia can't be saved anymore, but Kristin could. You understand?"

"So what is it you're saying, Doctor?" Nathan asked impatiently.

Kimberly sighed. "I told Kristin that Sylvia would find a way to speak with her if it was needed."

"But Kristin told _me_ she was the one who initiated this meeting," Nathan replied, looking up at her. "Well, at least that's how it seemed to her. She was talking in her sleep and even after she woke up…" Nathan paused. "I thought she might be delirious."

"She very well might have been," Joshua cut in. "She was mumbling something about Sylvia telling her she had that power all along."

"But Kristin could have also initiated the meeting," Kimberly added.

"So this…all this…it's your fault?"

Kimberly shook her head. "I never meant to hurt her. I didn't realize…"

"If she dies, I'm holding _you_ responsible!" Nathan hadn't meant to be so harsh, but he couldn't help it. "She trusted you! I trusted you!"

"I know, and I'm truly sorry," Kimberly replied, her voice shaking. "I promise you, I'll fix this."

"She's running out of time," Nathan said quietly.

Everyone was silent for several minutes. Then Joshua stepped forward and muttered something to Kimberly. She cast an apologetic glance towards Nathan and left the room.

"I don't blame you for being angry," Joshua said once they were alone.

Nathan put his hands on his hips. "I…I'm not angry at her exactly. I just…I hoped…"

"I have a feeling she knows that, but you need to understand, this is a very unique case, even for Kimberly's expertise. And we don't always get an instruction manual with the paranormal. I still have confidence in her."

Nathan nodded. "So do I."

Joshua gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I'll stop by later to check on Kristin. If she wakes up before that-"

"I'll let you know," Nathan finished. "And I won't let her do anything but rest."

"Exactly," Joshua replied. "Call me if there are any changes."

"Thank you, Joshua."

"Anytime."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan quietly walked towards Kristin's room, pausing in the doorway for a moment. He took a deep breath and moved towards the bed. His heart nearly dropped to the floor when he saw her greyish pallor. She was so still that his breath caught in his throat. He carefully moved to her side to be sure she was breathing. Panic rushed through his veins at the thought.

The next few seconds felt like a lifetime as Nathan shivered in anticipation. He finally saw the slight rise and fall of her chest and breathed a sigh of relief. He then lay on the bed next to her, pulling her into his arms. He needed to have her close to him for fear she'd slip away.

He stroked her hair lovingly and whispered, "I'm so glad your fever's gone, sweetheart. I'll be right by your side; I won't leave you. Just rest." _And come back to me…_

Nathan closed his eyes and tried to put any worry out of his mind for the time being. He suddenly felt very drowsy, and it wasn't long before he started to doze off.

" _Nathan?"_

_Nathan heard someone calling his name, though he didn't quite recognize the voice. Not Bill and not Jonathan._

" _Nathan?"_

" _Crocker?" Nathan asked, looking over his shoulder and noticing for the first time where he was: his island._

" _Not exactly." Whoever it was chuckled lightly and stepped into Nathan's line of vision._

_His jaw dropped. "Jack?"_

_He nodded and stepped forward._

" _How…"_

" _I'm sure Kristin told you I've been watching everything that's been going on?"_

_Nathan nodded quietly._

_Jack sighed. "And I heard you asking me for help before."_

" _That's not the first time I asked for your assistance, you know?"_

_Jack started down the beach and motioned for Nathan to follow him. "I know, but unfortunately, I can't just show up at your side any time I'd like. But I was able to pull a few strings."_

" _Why didn't you go to Sylvia or Kristin?"_

" _There are many different realms, as you know. Sylvia's stuck in limbo, and I'm not allowed there. Believe me, I've tried. And I think you know why I can't go to Kristin."_

" _Does Sylvia know that?" Nathan asked worriedly._

_Jack was silent for a few moments while they continued to walk. "I honestly don't know, but I don't think she'll be paying Kristin a visit right now."_

" _But how do we know Knox won't?"_

" _We don't," Jack replied quietly. "We just need to hope and pray…"_

" _I've been doing more than my fair share of praying, and you know it," Nathan replied bitterly. "I'm afraid my prayers won't be answered."_

_Jack stopped walking and turned back to him. "The Lord works in mysterious ways, Nathan. Sometimes you get what you need rather than what you want."_

" _So you're saying I_ _ **needed**_ _to have my son taken from me? And my wife? And now I need to have Kristin taken from me?" Nathan shook his head. "When I thought I had nothing left to live for, she showed up. And now that I've found her, I know I need her."_

" _You're preaching to the choir," Jack replied. "Don't forget, I went through that too. I know what it's like."_

" _But you didn't have to watch Sylvia deteriorate in front of your eyes."_

" _Oh, really?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "I've watched her every day for seventy-eight years, Nathan! I've seen her go through Hell several times over. Do you have any idea what it's like to have to be a helpless bystander and not be able to do a damn thing about it? At least you can be with Kristin to comfort her, hold her in your arms."_

" _That doesn't make much difference," Nathan countered. "I can't save her from Knox. I haven't been able to yet." He paused. "And although it hasn't been as long as Sylvia, a little piece of me dies every time I see it."_

_After a moment of silence, Jack said, "I didn't mean to suggest it doesn't hurt you to see Kristin the way she is. It's just… I needed you to know our situations are the same."_

" _But we can change it?"_

_Jack shook his head. "The suffering they've undergone was agreed to long before you or I came along."_

" _Haven't they both suffered enough now? How long will it go on? Sylvia died because of it, and Kristin… She's toyed with death more times than I'd like to admit. I can't lose her over this."_

" _Soul contracts are not negotiable," Jack said. "There's a reason for their suffering; there are lessons for_ _ **everyone**_ _involved."_

" _And what lesson will be learned if she dies?" Nathan demanded._

" _I can't answer that. But if that is what's meant to be-"_

" _You can't honestly believe that!"_

_Jack shook his head. "There are reasons for everything in life, even the bad things."_

" _So you've come to tell me that she's going to die and that there's a reason for it. Is that it?"_

" _Not exactly."_

_Nathan paused. "Is Kristin going to die?"_

" _I can't answer that."_

_Nathan frowned. "I thought you'd have more answers, more insight to all this. I thought you said you were going to help me."_

" _I am, Nathan, but you need to understand I don't have all the answers. I'm just a messenger, an innocent third party. I can't perform miracles." Jack took a deep breath and picked up a thin piece of drift wood and began drawing in the sand. "There are several outcomes, but it depends on which path is taken. If Kristin continues down this path, the one she's been on," he said, drawing a long line in the sand, "then it's possible she'll meet a devastating end. However, that path could split," he said drawing a fork in the line. "A new path would be formed and it's very likely everything will turn out all right."_

" _So how do we get her to change the path?" Nathan asked._

" _We_ _ **don't**_ _," Jack replied._

" _But-"_

" _It's not a choice anyone can make but Kristin herself. Kristin's fate cannot be altered by anyone except her."_

_Nathan was silent for several minutes. "Forgive me, but why are you here then? If I can't do anything, and you can't do anything, what's the point?"_

_Jack sighed. "I know it seems like you're helpless, but that's not the case. I'm not allowed to interfere, but you…you can help. You can guide her to this path." He pointed to the fork in the sand._

" _How?"_

" _By being her supporter. I know you've already been doing that, but you need to continue. Don't give up on her."_

" _I don't plan on it, but I don't want to lose her either."_

_Jack nodded. "I know you don't, and I promise if she can find this path, you won't."_

" _You really don't know how this will turn out?" Nathan asked after a pause._

" _I'm not even sure_ _ **He**_ _knows how this will turn out," Jack said, motioning to the sky. "But I can tell you Kristin has the strength to overcome it all. You can help her believe that."_

_Nathan nodded._

" _And if she gets through this-"_

" _I won't let her go," Nathan replied._

" _I'm sorry you're going through this, Nathan. I'd never wish the pain I've suffered on another soul."_

" _It's not half as much as what Kristin and Sylvia have gone through." Then Nathan asked, "What about Sylvia? Will you two be happy again?"_

" _Again, that depends on Kristin."_

" _But if she dies before everything gets fixed?"_

" _I don't know," Jack replied quietly. "Let's just hope we won't have to find out."_

" _I'll do everything I can, Jack."_

" _I know you will, Nathan. And let's hope we get our happiness in the end."_


	55. You're Not Gonna Lose Me

Lucas and the others were eating breakfast at the hotel restaurant when they saw Doctor Levin walk towards them. He noted the somber look on the doctor's face, causing his heart to sink. This couldn't be good news.

"Good morning, Doctor," Jonathan said with a nod. "Care to join us? We have plenty of room."

But Joshua waved a hand. "Thank you for the offer, but this isn't exactly a social call. I've got some bad news concerning Doctor Westphalen."

Lucas glanced around the table at the others. Katie bit her bottom lip in worry, and Ben reached over and placed his hand over hers. Tim folded his hands together as if in prayer, and the others wore looks of concern.

Joshua sighed. "Long story short, it seems she's had another encounter, and she's not doing well. As far as any further treatment for her is concerned…well, that's up in the air now."

"Oh, no, that's awful!" Katie exclaimed.

"There's nothing that can be done?" Ben asked.

The doctor and the rest of the crew continued to talk, but Lucas didn't say anything, pushing a piece of egg around his plate with his fork. The voices near him suddenly sounded far away as he thought about what _seaQuest_ would be like without Doctor Westphalen. He'd never see her warm smile again, feel her arms around him when he was upset, or see the way the captain's face lit up when she walked into the room.

And what about the captain? He knew how close the captain was with the doctor, and he'd left command once before because he didn't agree with orders. Would he resign if the doctor was forced to leave as well? Would he leave him?

Lucas felt a shiver run down his spine at the thought and shook his head. He wasn't sure what he could do, but he couldn't let that happen. The captain and doctor were his surrogate parents, and he wasn't about to lose them. He quietly excused himself and left the room, making his way upstairs.

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Lucas stopped by Ben's room to retrieve his overnight bag and then walked toward his own. He swiped the key card and opened the door, being sure to be as quiet as possible. He wasn't surprised to find his side empty, knowing the captain would be in with the doctor. He set his bag down, walked towards the adjoining door, and paused in the doorway.

He was expecting to see the captain sitting in the chair by the doctor's bed, only that wasn't the case, surprised to find the captain sleeping with the doc curled up in his arms.

Lucas carefully walked towards the bed, his breath catching in his throat when he noticed how small and fragile the doctor looked next to the captain. She looked pale and thin, and Lucas noted the stark contrast compared to the doctor he knew before.

He laid a gentle hand on her forehead. "Doc," he whispered, "I…uh…I just heard the news." He swallowed hard. "In the whole time I've known you, I've never seen you give up on anything, so you…you can't give up now. I won't let you. You need to get better, so we can _all_ go home together. We all need to go home, okay?" He studied her face for a minute, hoping for some sort of reaction from her, but she lay perfectly still.

Lucas sighed and laid a hand over hers, noting how frighteningly cold it was. If it wasn't for the gentle rise and fall of her chest, he'd have sworn… He took a deep breath and slipped his hand into hers, giving it a squeeze. "Just come back to us, okay? We miss you. I miss you." He bent down to give her a kiss on the forehead, and he swore he felt her fingers go around his hand just a touch.

He looked down in surprise. "Doc? Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can, okay?" He waited for a minute more, but he felt nothing. He sighed and patted her on the arm. "That's all right. Just get better soon, all right?"

He paused for a few seconds, silently hoping she might answer. She didn't, though. Lucas gave her hand one more squeeze before moving around to the other side of the bed where the captain lay.

Lucas hadn't paid much attention before, but it was clear the captain was dreaming, considering the way he was tossing and turning. As he rolled onto his back, Lucas suddenly noticed that he looked as though he'd aged ten years overnight, the deep worry lines in his forehead now more pronounced.

The captain then muttered something in his sleep and turned over again.

Lucas let out a sigh, the worry he might lose the both of them pushing its way to the surface again.

"No!" the captain shouted as he changed positions again.

Lucas shook his shoulder gently. "Captain? Wake up; you're dreaming."

"I…I can't let her go." Nathan mumbled. "Please…"

"Captain?" Lucas shook his shoulder a bit harder. "Captain, wake up! It's a dream. You're okay. It's a dream."

Nathan startled and opened his eyes, staring at Lucas for a moment in shock. "Lu-Lucas?" He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and pushed himself up, trying to be careful not to disturb Kristin. "Is something wrong?"

"N-no, not exactly," Lucas replied. "Doctor Levin told the rest of us about the doc, and I thought I should come up and see her. You were sort of talking in your sleep, so I figured I should wake you."

Nathan rubbed his eyes again. "Thanks, kiddo."

"No problem. That must have been some dream. You…you were actually shouting in your sleep."

"Uh, yeah…" Nathan glanced to his right, turning his attention to Kristin.

"How is she?" Lucas finally asked.

Nathan gave a shrug. "I really don't know; they gave her a sedative. I just hope…" He took a deep breath. "I just hope she can get through all this."

Lucas hesitated. "If…if she doesn't… I mean, if she doesn't get well enough before the _seaQuest_ needs to leave…what does that mean for you?"

"Oh, Lucas…" Nathan shook his head. "The doctor has already told me she doesn't want me sacrificing my position for her."

"But you would," Lucas said knowingly, nodding towards the doctor. "You don't want to lose her."

"I'm just hoping I won't need to make that decision."

Lucas nodded, looking down at the floor. "I know that, but we know it could be a possibility." He took a long, ragged breath and made eye contact with him then. "Are you…going to leave me too?"

Nathan stood to wrap him in his arms. "Oh, Lucas, I would never abandon you. Never, ever. Please, don't worry about that. Whatever happens, you'll be the first one I talk to. I promise." He then pulled back to ruffle his hair gently.

"Will you take me with you if you decide to go?"

"Whatever you want, Lucas. Of course I would," Nathan assured him.

"Thanks, Captain," Lucas whispered.

"Anytime, kiddo." He glanced towards Kristin. "She doesn't want to leave you either, you know?"

Lucas nodded. "I know. I feel the same way."

Nathan was quiet for a few moments. "Since you're here, would you mind if I took a quick shower? I just don't feel right leaving her alone."

"Of course," Lucas replied.

Nathan gave his shoulder a squeeze as he walked past. "And when I'm through, we can have a long chat."

"I'd like that," Lucas said with a smile.

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"I won again," Lucas announced as he laid down his cards. "How many hands does that make now?"

Nathan gave a shrug. "I lost count." He gave Lucas a weak smile.

He and Nathan had spent the rest of the afternoon talking and playing cards while the doctor slept. Although Lucas was enjoying himself, he could tell something seemed off about the captain. At first, he had assumed it was the worry over the doctor, but now he wasn't so sure that was it. "Are you bored? We could play something else if you'd like. I know lots of card games."

He shook his head. "No, this is fine. Another hand?"

"Are you just going to let me win again?"

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "I didn't let you win."

Lucas picked up the five cards that were face down in front of the captain. "Oh, really? Two aces, two kings, and a jack. All I had was a pair of twos. If you don't want to play, you can tell me, but you don't need to lie to me. I'm not a kid anymore."

"I never said you were," Nathan said with a sigh. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you feel that way. I just…have a lot on my mind."

"About her?" Lucas nodded towards the bed.

"Somewhat, but that's not what's bothering me now."

"What is it?" Lucas pressed.

"I just…" He shook his head. "Do you really want to hear this? I thought you wanted to spend time together, have a little fun?"

"I do," Lucas replied, "but it's not the same if you're not having fun too. So what's going on?"

Nathan sighed. "I got a little angry with Doctor McEnery earlier. I yelled at her, blamed her for this," he said, nodding his head towards Kristin. "And I'm feeling a little guilty about it all now."

"Oh, is that all?"

"Is that all?" Nathan repeated.

"You act like it's the end of the world," Lucas said with a shrug. "It's easily fixable. Just go and apologize."

Nathan hesitated. "It's…not that simple."

"Why not?"

Nathan looked towards the bed once again.

"You won't be gone that long, and I'll be right here with her," Lucas replied, knowing what the older man was thinking. "Just go."

"You don't take no for an answer, do you?"

Lucas laughed. "Of course not. I learn from the best." He was sure to hold Nathan's gaze for a minute, and then turned his eyes towards the bed. "Everything will be fine; don't worry."

"Thanks, Lucas," Nathan replied as he left the room.

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A short time later, Nathan found himself outside Kimberly's room, but he couldn't bring himself to knock on the door. He hadn't even prepared what he was going to say. But just as he was thinking it over, the door suddenly opened, and Kimberly stood there dumbfounded.

"Cap-Captain Bridger? I certainly wasn't expecting you. Is…is something wrong?"

"No…I mean, Kristin's still sleeping, if that's what you mean. Did I catch you at a bad time?"

She shook her head. "Not at all. I was just going to go outside for a little walk while the sun's still out."

"Oh… Well, I won't keep you long, but…uh…I was wondering if we could talk for a bit?"

She stepped aside to let him pass, giving a nod. "Come in, please."

Nathan did so, and Kimberly closed the door behind him.

"If this is about before, I promise you, I'm going to try everything I can for Kristin," Kimberly said. "I know you're quite angry, and you have every right to be. I-"

"That's actually why I came by."

"And you don't know how bad I feel about all this. I just… I thought Kristin had understood how dangerous an encounter with Sylvia would be for her right now. I was hoping she'd wait. I…I didn't realize…"

Nathan shook his head. "It doesn't matter now."

Kimberly raised an eyebrow. "How…how can you say that? I…I should have known better. I should have clarified it with her. I acted terribly irresponsible, and if anything happens, you're absolutely correct, I should be blamed."

"No, you shouldn't."

"But-"

"If Kristin were conscious, I know for a fact she wouldn't blame you. She'd be yelling at _me_ for yelling at you," he said with a small smile that quickly faded. "My point is that if it were an encounter with Knox, we'd be in the same situation, and we'd have no one to blame because that's not exactly in anyone's control. I'm not even sure Sylvia was within her control either…completely, anyway. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that, and I'm truly sorry. I know you're trying to do everything you can and that you have her best interest at heart. I wasn't angry with you exactly; I was just angry at the situation."

Kimberly stared at him in silence for a moment. "I can't make any guarantees."

"I know," Nathan replied. "And I'm not asking you to. I just wanted you to know I trust you."

A quizzical look graced her features. "Really?"

"Really," Nathan replied with a smile. He paused. "Are we…all right now?"

She laughed softly. "Of course we are. I was never angry with you. I'm glad you stopped by."

"So am I, but now I'll leave you so you can take that walk now."

"Very well, but if you need anything-"

"I have your mobile number," he finished. "Thank you, Doctor."

"You're very welcome."

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When Nathan walked in the room, he noticed Lucas sitting in the chair by Kristin's side. He breathed a sigh of relief to see she hadn't awoken before he'd gotten back.

"How'd it go?" Lucas asked, not turning to face him.

"Just like you said it would," Nathan replied, preparing for the, "I told you so," to follow. He was about to question why when he was interrupting by a soft moaning, which he instantly recognized. "Is that…" He moved closer to the bed to see Lucas gently stroking Kristin's hair while she tossed her head back and forth.

"She's been doing that for about five minutes now," Lucas informed him. "I tried to wake her, but I couldn't." The teen turned to look at him. "Should I call Doctor Levin?"

Nathan gently pushed past Lucas and laid a hand on her forehead. _No fever._ He breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to the younger man. "She doesn't have a fever, but…he wanted to know if anything changed."

Lucas nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Everything's going to be fine," he muttered before leaving the room.

Nathan sighed and sat down on the bed next to Kristin, taking her hand in his. "Just try to relax," he whispered. "You're going to be fine. Everything's going to be fine." He wasn't sure if he was saying it for her benefit or for his.

Kristin, however, continued to thrash back and forth, her movements becoming more violent, whimpering and moaning as if in pain.

"Kristin, honey, wake up," Nathan urged, shaking her shoulder gently. "You're safe; it's okay." When it was clear she still hadn't heard him, he grabbed both her shoulders and called her name louder.

She startled, her eyes opening wide and gasping for breath.

Nathan could see the confused look in her bloodshot, red-rimmed eyes, almost as if she didn't recognize him. "Kristin? Just calm down, sweetheart. You're okay." He paused and watched her take several deep breaths as she continued to stare at him, wide-eyed.

"I…I…" She shook her head. "I didn't mean it," she whispered. "I'm so sorry."

"Didn't mean what?" Nathan asked.

But as she struggled to answer, a loud knock sounded on the door, and he heard Lucas cross the room to open it.

He turned to see Doctor Levin approaching the bed.

"Glad to see you're awake," he said to Kristin. "And how are you feeling?"

She gave a light shrug, and she still wore the same look of confusion.

Joshua placed a hand on Nathan's shoulder. "Why don't you and Lucas give us some privacy? I just want to do a quick examination."

Nathan hesitated, looking back at Kristin, who gave him a gentle nod.

He sighed and put his arm around Lucas as the two walked into the other room.

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Nathan sat deep in thought, watching Lucas play Solitaire. Lucas tried very hard to make small talk, and Nathan did his best to feign interest. But his heart wasn't really in it, and he was sure Lucas knew it too.

After a few minutes of silence, Lucas said, "Captain?"

"Yeah, kiddo?" Nathan asked, staring straight ahead.

"How about a game of 'Go Fish'? You know…to keep your mind occupied?"

Nathan turned to look at him. He was about to agree, knowing how hard he was trying, but the door suddenly opened, and the offer was forgotten. Both of them stood and approached Doctor Levin.

"She's fine," he assured them. "She's a little confused, but she's fine. Her fever is gone, which is a good sign. Really, there isn't much else we can do. She just needs to rest as much as she can." He turned to look at Nathan. "She's been asking for you, though."

Nathan turned to look at Lucas.

"I should probably go see what the others are up to," Lucas told him. "I'll come back later?"

"Lucas, I didn't mean…" Nathan sighed. "You don't need to leave."

But Lucas gave a shrug. "I think you and the doc need to talk…alone. I'll give you an hour or so, okay? Then maybe we can all have dinner together or something…just the three of us?"

Nathan gave him a smile. "I'll bet she'd like that. Thanks, Lucas."

"No problem."

"I don't think you need me here any longer either," Joshua said. "Just call me if anything changes."

"Thank you, Joshua."

"Anytime. I can see she's in good hands," he replied before showing himself out.

Nathan paused in the doorway, looking towards the bed. He saw her giving him a gentle smile, this time looking more alert. He noticed a touch of pink had risen in her cheeks; although her face was still pale, it gave him hope.

"Are you just going to stand there?" she asked. "You look as though you've seen a ghost."

He moved towards her. "I'm just relieved to see you awake. You…you gave me quite a scare."

She looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry."

Nathan sat down next to her and placed a hand under her chin, urging her to look up. "Don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry for."

She shook her head, her voice trembling slightly. "I can see it in your eyes. After everything you've been through, I…I can imagine this must be killing you."

He pulled her into his arms. "Shh, it's all right. I'm just thankful you came back." _Thank you for answering my prayers._ "We were just worried you wouldn't come back."

He felt her nod against his chest. "I told Sylvia I had to come back…and I had to talk to her. I…I told her she had to make sure she forgave Frank Knox too. I told her she had to do it in order to move on."

Nathan rubbed her back gently. "And what did she say?"

"I…I can't make any guarantees," she replied softly. "But I told her she had to keep her promise to me." She pulled back to look up at him. "You were there too."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "I was?" When Kristin had told had told him that before, he though it was a result of the fever. He hadn't realized it had really happened.

She nodded. "It…it's going to sound strange, but you were a scarecrow."

"A scarecrow?" he repeated with a light laugh.

"I told you it was going to sound strange." She let out a sigh. "It was strange, but...I was just happy to see a familiar face. Just knowing you were there with me…it made me feel safe."

"I'm glad to hear that."

She nodded. "So what did Joshua tell you?"

"What do you mean?"

She gave him a look. "He wouldn't tell me much, just that I was making progress and to keep resting." She let out a sigh. "I'm running out of time…and I'm scared."

Nathan pulled her into his arms again. "So am I," he said quietly. "But for the record, Joshua didn't say much more. There are no secrets being kept from you. Everything depends on you. We just want you to get better."

"Me more than anyone else," she replied. She paused. "I think I should tell you I'm going through with the hypnosis, no matter what."

Nathan hesitated. "Are…are you sure that's what you want?"

"Of course," she whispered. "It seems to me that's the only logical step. If I don't, none of this will ever end."

"But physically, you-"

"Will be fine," she said, pulling back to look at him. She sighed. "Nathan, you should know me by now. Have you ever seen me defeated?"

"Come to think of it, no…but this might not be within our control."

She shook her head. "That's not true. I'm in control. I need to stop feeling like I'm powerless in this. Kimberly told me that. And while Sylvia's been calling the shots on some things, it's time for me to call a few shots of my own."

Nathan was silent for several minutes. He pulled her into his arms again, hugging her tightly as if she might turn into dust. "I can't bear to lose you," he whispered, his voice cracking.

"You won't lose me," she said, her voice unwavering. "I promise, you won't lose me. Do you trust me?"

"I've told you before I'll always trust you. It's just the rest of the forces at hand that I'm leery about."

"Everything's going to be fine," she told him, stroking his hair gently. "We'll get through this together."


	56. 'Cause The Passion And The Pain

"We're going to be fine," she said again. "I promise."

Nathan nodded and laid his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes.

Kristin gently ran her fingers through his hair and continued to whisper soft, soothing words to him. She wasn't sure if it was more for his benefit or for hers, but she felt better saying it out loud. She was relieved when he seemed to calm, but she then heard him take a ragged breath and felt him shiver.

"Nathan?" she questioned. "What's wrong?"

"Sorry," he muttered. "I…"

"You're still worried?"

He nodded against her shoulder. "I suppose I should tell you I had a dream too, and I-"

"Oh… Well, it was just a dream. It doesn't necessarily mean-"

"It wasn't that kind of dream," he said, lifting his head to look at her. "It was like one of _your_ dreams, and it was Jack who pulled me in."

Her brow furrowed. "You…you spoke with Jack? H-how? I didn't think…"

"You were unavailable, so I was the next best thing, I guess."

"Are you going to tell me what he said?" she asked after a brief moment of silence.

Nathan stood and crossed to the desk in the corner of the room, picking up the complimentary hotel notepad and pen. He then made his way back to the bed and sat back down. "Jack drew me a little picture, and I thought I'd do the same for you. He said the same thing that Kimberly told you: that you're in control." He drew two parallel lines on the paper, representing a path. "If you continue on the same path you've been on, he said it might not end well."

Kristin was quiet as she pondered this, staring at the drawing on the notepad. "Then how in the world can I be in control if no matter what I do-"

Nathan placed a hand on her shoulder. "You didn't let me finish." He then drew a fork in the path. "But he also said the path could diverge, by your own doing by the way, and the outcome would be positive."

Kristin shook her head. "So what is it you're saying now? That I shouldn't do the hypnosis?"

"I didn't say that. Did I say that?"

"You've made it perfectly clear you're not exactly keen on the idea," she replied. "Just because you haven't said it out loud doesn't mean I can't see it in your eyes."

"And do you blame me? My God, Kristin, you don't know what it's like to be witness to all this, to watch you suffering."

" _I_ don't know what it's like? Excuse me? _I'm_ the one who's been going through Hell over the past two weeks!"

"And _I'm_ the one who's been suffering right along with you!"

Kristin opened her mouth to reply but then opted against it. She simply rolled over, turning her back to him.

A few moments later, she heard him let out a sigh. He laid a hand on her shoulder. "Kris, please, I-"

She pulled away from him, however. "Don't touch me." She tried to keep her voice steady, but she knew she failed miserably, the lump in her throat growing larger with every passing breath.

"I am such a jackass," Nathan muttered.

"It's about time you admit it," she said quietly.

"I'm sorry."

She gave a shrug, still making no attempt to turn back to him.

"I'm sorry I yelled," he told her. "Can we talk civilly, please?"

She sighed shakily. "You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?" She rolled over to face him, her cheeks wet with spent tears.

Nathan took a tissue from the bedside table and wiped them dry. "You're the last person I want to be angry with. I…I'm not even angry at you. I'm just…"

"Angry?" she finished. "Join the club. You get used to it after a while."

"I'd rather not."

She looked down at the bed and picked at a non-existent piece of fuzz off the comforter. "Nathan, I know you're worried about me, but I don't see any other way. I can't lie about and wait to see what happens." She then met his gaze. "I know I had said I wanted you there, but if you don't think you can handle it, maybe it's best you aren't there after all. I certainly don't want to add to your suffering."

"I didn't quite mean it that way."

"You've made it perfectly clear you can't stand to see me this way." She crossed her arms over her chest, raising a brow at him. "If you can't stand to see it-"

"I'd rather see you this way than not at all, if you know what I mean."

"That's why I had told you to run away, to leave me alone. You said you didn't want that. Honestly, neither did I, but now you're contradicting yourself. What in the world brought this on?"

"Nothing brought it on exactly. It's just all coming to a head, and I'm having second thoughts. At least I'm bringing it up now."

"Very well," she said with a sigh, "if that's how you feel, you don't need to be here. Go on, go. If it's too much, don't let me inconvenience you."

"Kristin, wait; that's not what I meant. I-"

She raised a hand to her forehead. "I really don't need this from you right now," she replied quietly. "Either you're going to be honest with me or you need to go. It's your choice. Now what's it going to be?"

"I haven't been hiding anything. I just told you I'm having second thoughts. Isn't that being honest?"

She eyed him carefully for a moment, searching for the answer in his eyes. For a split second, she could see the doubt, the questions, but she saw it fade quickly as he masked it. "You're hiding something from me," she finally said. "There's something more. Please, just tell me. No secrets, remember?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but then something made him draw back. He turned away, placing his hands on the nearby table.

Kristin could see the tremble of his shoulders. "Nathan, are you all right?"

He looked back at her then, tears in his eyes. "I am so sorry, but I don't think I can do this. I hope you'll find it in your heart to forgive me," he choked out before leaving the room.

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"Captain? I didn't expect to see you out here. Are you… Oh."

Pulled from his dark place, Nathan looked up in her direction, noting the hand covering her mouth. After leaving Kristin's room, he'd found this small, isolated corner and had been safe for at least an hour, he guessed. Of all people to discover him, it had to be her.

"I'm…I'm sorry," Kimberly stammered. "I didn't mean to interrupt your thoughts. I just thought you were out for a bit of sun."

Nathan waved a hand. "I…just needed a place to collect my thoughts." He nodded towards the opposite end of the beach that was still filled with scores of people. "You needed to get away too?"

"Oh, I'm not really bothered by the crowds, but I wanted to go for a little walk, have some peace and quiet." She paused for a moment. "I'm not going to pry, but you're supposed to be on vacation. You should act like it." She gave him a smile. "See you later."

"Vacation indeed," Nathan scoffed, shaking his head. "That's easier said than done, you know."

She turned back to him. "Whatever it is, it can't be that bad. It'll pass."

Nathan prepared for the proverbial 'It's not the end of the world' speech, and the thing was, he knew she was right. No, it wasn't the end of the world. No, it wasn't going to kill him, but he knew changes were on the horizon. And he'd never taken kindly to change as it is, and his past only contributed to this aversion to change, having Robert and Carol torn from his arms.

He'd nearly sworn off people entirely, and he would still be on his island if he'd had his way. But Bill wouldn't take no for an answer, and he hadn't longed for his days on his island alone since…until now, that is.

He thought he had overcome the fear of losing those he loved. He thought he had changed for the better. Kristin and Lucas both showed him that he could find happiness again, and he actually believed it. But now that he'd found them both, he couldn't stand to lose them. He'd done everything in his power to stand by Kristin through everything. He'd held her hand and watched her go through, the whole time suffering right along with her.

But it was the uncertainty killing him now. He'd nearly lost her once; could he stand idly by and see it happen again? And what if she didn't come back? He wasn't sure he could handle that. He was still mourning his wife, for God's sake. He wasn't sure he could take losing another love.

Nathan couldn't believe Jack didn't realize all this. Jack had told him he had to help Kristin realize her strength, but who was there to help him? He had no one to show him he was strong. There was a reason for that, he decided.   _Because he wasn't._ He was emotionally weak and always had been; Robert's disappearance and Carol's death had proven that. And although he thought those old wounds had faded, he realized he still hadn't overcome them.

Nathan suddenly looked up, realizing Kimberly hadn't said anything more. He saw her staring at him intently, a gentle smile on her face. Before he could say anything, she held out her hand.

"Come on; you look like you could use a drink."

"I don't really think-"

She knelt in front of him. "I'm not asking you to get drunk. I'm just offering you a drink. You're on vacation; act like it. This is your last chance." She stood and offered her hand again.

Nathan relented, taking her hand then. Maybe a drink would help numb the pain a little, at least.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Still lying in bed, Kristin sobbed into her pillow. She'd felt betrayed…and more importantly, alone. Feeling a sudden streak of anger, she pushed herself to her knees and wiped at her eyes. "This is all you need. Something _else_ to worry about. After you just started to get a handle on things, he goes and pulls a stunt like this." She picked up one of the pillows and threw it across the room; it landed in the middle of the floor about eight feet away from the bed.

She picked up another and was about to throw it when she heard a knock at the door. She wiped her eyes again and cleared her throat, sure it was Nathan. "Come in," she called.

When the door opened and she saw it was Lucas, however, she hoped she didn't look too disappointed.

Lucas smiled at her. "Hey, Doc. I'm glad to see you're awake." He crossed the room to hug her when his foot caught on something. He bent down and picked up the pillow.

Kristin felt her face grow warm. "I was just…"

"Let me guess. Practicing your throwing skills?" he finished for her. He placed the pillow on the bed. "Well, I hate to tell you this, but you need a lot more practice." He then moved to wrap her in a hug.

"I think I'll survive," she replied into his shoulder. "I was just…trying to entertain myself. Oh, but I've missed you so."

"Me too, Doc," he replied. He then sat next to her and looked around. "Where's the captain?"

"Lord only knows," she said flatly, letting out a sigh. Then upon realizing he didn't know what happened, she offered Lucas a weak smile. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean… He went out for a little walk, I suppose."

"Oh…" he replied quietly. "Did he say when he'd be back? I was hoping we could have dinner together, if that's all right with you, of course."

Kristin tried to will away the lump in her throat. "Certainly. Um, he didn't say, but I don't think he'll be very long. But until that happens, we can talk by ourselves, hm? How has your day been?"

"Better now that you're awake," he replied. "When I'd heard the news…I was just afraid…"

Kristin could hear the twinge in his voice and nearly lost it herself. She pulled him into a tight hug. "I'm so sorry you were scared, but it's all right now." She kissed him on the cheek and rubbed his back. "Everything's going to be all right now."

"So, you're feeling better?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Somewhat. I'm still tired, and I have strict orders from Doctor Levin to rest. But at least I'm awake."

"I hope it stays that way."

"I intend to make sure of that. But why don't we talk about something else a bit happier, shall we? How is Veronica?"

Lucas shrugged. "She's fine."

"Fine? That's it?" Kristin pressed.

He smiled. "She and her family are in Florida visiting her aunt for a week." Lucas looked down at his hands. "And no, I'm not broken up about it. We've already exchanged e-mail addresses, and we've planned to get together after the tour. Plus, we just spoke earlier over the vid-phone. She's having a good time, and I'm happy."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that," she replied, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Besides, even if she were in Pearl, I'd rather be spending time with you anyway." He flashed her a grin.

"Oh, Lucas, that's very sweet of you," she replied, her voice quivering suddenly as tears welled up in her eyes. She turned to the bedside table to grab a tissue and tried to swallow her tears to no avail. They were more than just 'Lucas being sweet' tears, and she was sure Lucas noticed it too.

"Doc?" He reached out to take her hand in his.

Kristin shook her head. "Lucas, I'm sorry," she said through her tears. "The captain and I… He left, and I don't know if he'll be back at all. We…we had an argument."

Lucas pulled her into his arms. "Oh, Doc, I am so sorry. How could he be angry with you at a time like this?"

She cried into his shoulder for a few moments. "I…I really don't think he's angry at me. I think he's just angry and not being able to control what might happen…and he's afraid. I don't exactly blame him, but..." She trailed off as another anguished cry forced its way out of her throat.

"It's all right, Doc; please, don't cry."

She nodded and tried to calm down. "I…I just don't understand what made him change his mind all of a sudden."

"Change his mind?"

She nodded, pulling away to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I think there's something he's not telling me." She cast a glance towards him. "Did…did he say anything to you?"

"Not directly," Lucas replied, "but earlier…" He took a deep breath. "Before you woke up, I came in here to see you, to talk to you, to tell you to get better. The captain was in bed next to you, only he wasn't sleeping very soundly. He was having some sort of nightmare..."

She nodded. "He mentioned he had a dream, but he never said much more than that."

"He wouldn't say, but I'm sure he was dreaming about you. He just kept screaming he didn't want to lose 'her'. I assumed that was you."

She pulled her knees up to her chest. "If that's the case, he has a funny way of showing it," she said miserably.

"Don't worry, okay? This isn't the first time we've seen him run off to think. He's done it with me too."

"I…I know, but it's not often I'm the one he's not talking to."

Lucas put an arm around her shoulders. "I'm sure it won't last long, okay? How about we order some dinner and watch _Willy Wonka_?"

She gave him a quiet nod. No, eating and watching a movie was the last thing on her list of things to do at the moment, but she knew Lucas was trying to cheer her up. And she didn't want to be alone.

"I promise I won't leave you alone," Lucas told her before popping in the movie.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan sat across from Kimberly at one of the tables in the corner of the outdoor bar nursing his scotch. She sipped her margarita, eyeing him curiously, but he tried to ignore it.

"Something wrong with the drink?" she finally asked. "You don't seem to be enjoying it."

"Oh, no, it's good, thank you." He took a drink for effect.

She smirked. "Joshua was right; you're a terrible liar."

Nathan's brow rose. "You think I'm lying?"

She shook her head. "I don't think; I know. It's written all over your face that something's bothering you. And call me crazy, but I'm sure it's more than worry about Kristin. You seemed just fine earlier."

"I was _not_ 'just fine' earlier. I'm worried sick."

"Which is why you're out here with me instead of with her, right?"

Nathan clenched his teeth and swirled the ice around in his drink. "And what business is it of yours?" he finally said.

She shrugged. "I suppose it isn't, but I'm here to help Kristin. And you fall into that mix too, don't you?"

Nathan said nothing, taking another sip of his drink.

He heard Kimberly sigh. "Fine, I'm not going to force you to talk."

"I never said I wanted to talk in the first place," he said quietly. "You're the one who forced me to come with you. What? You thought you'd buy me a drink, and I'd let my inhibitions down and tell you all my troubles?"

"Not quite, Captain. I'm not that deceitful. What I thought is that you looked like hell, and that a drink might help you. Nothing more."

Nathan let out a snort.

"Once you finish your drink, I'll be on my way," she said.

Nathan picked up his glass and drank the liquid down in one gulp. He then set the glass down on the table and stood. "No need to leave; I'll go. Thank you for the drink, Doctor."

"What happens if I can't save her?"

Nathan turned back to her. "What did you say?"

"You heard me," she replied. "You already know how things could turn out. I make no guarantees."

"You don't need to remind me of that," he snarled.

"Which again, makes me wonder why you're out here." She picked up her drink and took a sip.

"I needed time to think."

"What about?"

"I thought you said you didn't invite me in here to force me to talk?" Nathan asked.

"Perhaps we both told white lies to one another." She let out a sigh. "Very well, I'll make a deal with you. I'll buy you another drink, and you sit down and talk."

"But I don't-"

"Do you care about Kristin?"

"Of course I do," he replied. "You know that."

"I care about her too," she told him. "And I've already promised you and Joshua and everyone else I'm not about to leave without making sure everything is right with her. I know how this has affected her, and I can see it's affecting you. Why are you turning your back on her now?"

"I'm not turning my back on her," he said, sitting back down. "I just needed some time away."

"From her?"

"Of course not. I don't…I don't want to be away from her, but…"

Kimberly summoned the bartender over and was about to order Nathan another scotch when he stopped her. "I don't need another drink."

"You're sure? How about an iced tea then?"

He nodded, and the bartender hurried off to get the drink.

"I don't want to be away from her," he said again. "I don't…" He paused and looked up at her. "I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her."

"You have a strange way of showing her that," Kimberly replied. "I feel for you, Captain. I don't blame you for being worried, but-"

"I lost my son about six years ago. Missing in action. There…there was an accident, we were told, in the North Atlantic. I…I didn't want to believe it. I still don't. Part of me still hopes, still prays he'll show up out of the blue. His body was never recovered." His voice began to shake as tears stung his eyes. "And as if that wasn't enough, I lost my wife two years ago. I never…"

Kimberly reached across the table and took his hand as the bartender brought his tea. She pushed it closer to Nathan, and he took a long drink.

"I never expected to fall in love with anyone else," Nathan said, his voice steadier now. "That was until Kristin. And now that I've found her, I can't lose her. I can't stand to see her this way. I can't stand to watch it, and I don't think I'm strong enough to be by her side…"

"Have you talked to her about this?"

Nathan shook his head. "I tried. I wanted to, but the words just wouldn't come. I don't know how I can be any use to her anyway, not like this. I'm not strong enough."

"Who said that?"

"No one has to," Nathan said with a shrug. "I just know."

"You're wrong, you know," Kimberly finally said.

Nathan's brow furrowed. "About what?"

"You're much stronger than you believe; Kristin knows it too."

"Has she-"

"No, she never mentioned," Kimberly said, "but I can tell from the way she looks at you. She believes in you, Nathan. I don't think you want to let her down. Didn't Jack say there are lessons to be learned by everyone?" she asked.

"Yes, but-"

"Go and talk to her. If you don't and something awful happened…"

"I'd never forgive myself," Nathan said with a nod.

"Don't make that mistake. Go to her. It's what you both want."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin tried to focus on the movie as she picked at the piece of pizza on the plate on her lap.

Lucas had eaten three slices of his own and was about to pick up a forth when he looked at her plate. "I thought you liked pepperoni?"

"I do," she replied. "It's good; I'm just not very hungry."

"So you don't mind if I have another slice?"

"Of course not," she said, offering him a smile.

Lucas picked up the slice of pizza and placed it on his plate. He then sat back down next to her. "This is one of my favorite parts," he commented, motioning towards the screen. "The boat ride used to scare me to death when I was a kid, but now I love it."

Kristin gave him a nod and faked another smile. "I like when-" She jumped slightly when a slamming door could be heard from the other room.

They both looked up to see Nathan standing in the doorway. "Sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean for the door to close so hard."

Lucas turned to Kristin. "You know, Doc, we can always finish this later. I forgot I was supposed to…do something. See you later." And with that, he quickly ducked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"That was very subtle," Nathan replied with an awkward smile that quickly faded when he noticed the glare Kristin was giving him. "I guess that means you're still angry with me."

"Shouldn't I be?" she asked quietly, picking up the remote and turning the movie off.

"Do you mind if I come in?" He still was standing in the doorway. "Please? I'd like to talk."

She gave him a shrug. "You may as well."

He walked towards the bed and started to sit, then thought twice and sat in a nearby chair instead. "I…I'm sorry I ran out on you before. I didn't…" He let out a sigh. "This is a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"Nathan, all I want from you is the truth; that shouldn't be hard."

"You're absolutely right. It shouldn't be that hard to tell you the truth. The only problem is that you're not the person I'm trying to hide the truth from."

She raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I wasn't being honest with myself," he admitted. "I…I had this dream…"

"You mentioned."

"But I didn't tell you everything. When I saw you… When you were lying in bed, you…you were so white. I thought… I just lost it. It reminded me of Carol, and I…"

Kristin could hear his voice becoming tight, and she knew he was close to tears. She motioned for him to sit next to her.

He did so. "I don't want to lose you," he whispered. "I couldn't bear it."

"Did…did Jack say you would?" she asked, her own voice trembling.

He shook his head. "He couldn't say because he doesn't know. He just said that I'm the one who needs to help you find your strength for you to follow the right path." He looked at her, his eyes brimming with tears. "I found that such an ironic statement; anyone can see I'm not strong enough for this."

She wrapped him in a tight hug. "Oh, Nathan, that's not true. You've been such a help to me, more than you know. You are strong."

"But I can't-"

"Shh," she whispered. "It's all right."

She felt Nathan's arms go around her. "I am so sorry I let you down, Kris. Can you forgive me?"

"Always," she replied, laying her head on his shoulder. "There were paths in my dream too."

He pulled back to look at her. "There were?"

She nodded. "And in my dream, the scarecrow…you…pointed me down the right one. I don't think it's an accident we had similar dreams. I'm sure it's the universe telling us something. Or perhaps Sylvia? Jack? God?"

Nathan sighed. "So you really think hypnosis is the right path?"

"I do. And you said you'd trust me."

"I know, and I do. I just worry."

"I know, but I think I'm already doing enough of that for the both of us." She looked into his eyes. "I'd never force you to be there if you didn't want to."

"I know."

"Do you want to be there? Please, tell me honestly."

He nodded. "You can count on me. I'm sorry I ever put any doubt in your mind."

She pulled him back into her arms. "Just don't let it happen again."

"Yes, ma'am."


	57. Are Gonna Keep Us Alive Someday

Kristin was the first to break the hug. "Well, now that we're both on the same page, I suppose we should talk to Kimberly and Joshua," Kristin said.

Nathan's eyebrows knitted together. "Whatever for?"

"To talk about a good time for the hypnosis, silly," she said with a slight laugh. "You do remember what tomorrow is, don't you?"

"Yes, I remember: Thursday. But you're not planning to do the hypnosis today, are you?"

"Do you have a better suggestion? If we don't do it today, it will be too late." Her voice held a hint of excitement. "Do you think we might leave later in the day tomorrow? I hope so; that will give us time to retrieve the letter from the museum before we go. I didn't realize how much we had to do yet."

Nathan shook his head, placing an arm around her shoulders. "Slow down a minute. What if Doctors Levin and McEnery don't think you're well enough yet?"

Kristin looked down at her hands. "I hadn't thought of that," she muttered. "But I feel much better than I did. I really don't have time to play around. They have to agree."

"I can see you're feeling better," Nathan said with a sigh. "But I don't want you risking your health…and neither does anyone else. Just because you feel fine at the moment doesn't mean you're healed."

Kristin laid her head on his shoulder, sucking in a shaky breath, as Nathan tightened his hold on her.

He desperately tried to think of a solution, and he could only think of one, though it was a long-shot. But he had to try. "Why don't you lie down for a bit, hm?"

"Where…where are you going?"

"I'm just going to make a little phone call," he replied, gently pushing away from her. "Just rest for a bit, okay? I won't be long."

She hesitated for a brief moment, but then she relented.

Nathan kissed her gently on the forehead and pulled the covers up over her; then he walked into the other room, closing the door behind him in case things didn't go as well as he hoped.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan took a deep breath before punching in the number on the vid-screen keypad. He knew Bill's hands were tied in the matter, but he had to try one more time. He paced impatiently in front of the vid-screen until he saw the familiar face on the screen before him, a smile on his face.

"Nathan? Funny, I was just thinking I needed to call you."

"Well, they do say great minds think alike," Nathan replied, trying to make light of the conversation, sure it would inevitably become heated.

"That they do." He paused momentarily. "How's Kristin?"

Nathan hesitated. "Better, but not fully recovered. I know this is probably going to cause an argument, but we need more time…a few days at least." He paced a bit more and let out a deep sigh. "I…I know the brass gave you an ultimatum, but if they could just stop and think for a minute. They need to realize how this is going to affect all of us. It would be futile to-"

"Nathan?"

"And don't think for one minute you're going to distract me," Nathan continued. "I've already thought about what I need to say, so please don't interrupt."

"Nathan?" Bill said again.

"You're making this awfully difficult, you know," Nathan said as he turned to face his friend. "I just asked-"

"I know what you asked, but if you'd let me get a word in edgewise, I think you'll be pleased with some of the developments we've had on this end."

"What?"

"As I said, I was thinking I needed to call you. When I didn't hear from you yesterday, I already guessed Kristin wasn't well enough," he said. "And I also knew there was going to be hell to pay if the brass found out that nearing the end of the tour, they were about to lose both the CMO and the captain." He stared at Nathan knowingly.

"Kristin had told me she didn't want me resigning," he replied quietly.

"But that doesn't mean you were going to listen. Nathan, I know you…and so does she. I think she knew you weren't going to listen to her either."

Nathan gave a shrug. "I guess I can be transparent at times." He paused as he realized what Bill had said. "Wait a minute. You said _if_. So you didn't tell them?"

"I never had to; we've been touched by an angel. Well, an angel gave me a plan anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"It seems the new navigation system has a few flaws," Bill replied, picking up a pair of wire snips from his desk and opening and closing them. "It isn't immune to rats."

"Rats?"

"Yes, seems the little buggers came in and chewed through the wires." Bill opened and closed the wire snips again. "That's what the brass believes anyway. Even with the repair crew working around the clock, you've got at least three more days, if not longer."

"Bill, you're a genius. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."

"I didn't do anything. It was the rats," he insisted, his eyes smiling. "One of the new crewmen left the door open. I had to have a long talk with him."

"Whatever you say. At least you didn't need to paint my room pink. I was a little worried."

"Who says I didn't?" he countered, giving Nathan a wink. "Give Kristin my love and tell her to get well. Maybe I could call in a day or two to check on her?"

"I bet she'd like that. Thanks again, Bill."

"Anytime, Nathan. Take care."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

As soon as she heard the adjoining door open, Kristin moved to sit up. "And what did Bill say?"

"How did you know that's who I was talking to?" He moved to sit next to her on the bed.

She gave a light shrug. "Just a hunch. I'm right, aren't I?" She felt a tremor rise up her spine; she tried to will it away to no avail. "I'm sure he's not pleased at all," she replied, her voice barely above a whisper as she prepared for what she believed was bad news.

"Quite the contrary actually."

Kristin's brow furrowed as she looked up. "What…what do you mean?"

Nathan raised a finger. "Let's just say that from here on out, you are not allowed to say he hates you ever again. I can assure you that's not true. He got us an extension…three days at least."

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack," Nathan replied with a smile, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.

"That was very sweet of him, but I didn't expect…" She let out a sigh. "I do hope he's not getting too much guff from the brass for it."

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that. Let's just say he pulled a few _wires_ for you. He says he'll call in a day or two to see how you are, and I have strict orders for you to get better."

She smiled softly. "He knows I don't take kindly to orders, but I suppose I'll have to make an exception this time. He really has a bigger heart than he lets on. Maybe I should call him now and tell him how much I appreciate it?"

"I think he was on his way out, so I wouldn't worry about that right now," Nathan told her.

"Well, I'm going to have to think of some way to thank him."

"I don't think he's worried about that, but now that we know we have a little time, I think you can stop the idea of going through the hypnosis today. You're supposed to be resting." He stood and motioned to the room service cart. " _And_ eating, but it doesn't look like you've done much of that."

"I am resting, I haven't gotten out of bed, and I did eat a little bit." She let out a heavy sigh. "I still need to speak with Kimberly so she can decide if I am well enough. Three days isn't much."

"We might have longer than that," Nathan reminded her. "How about a compromise then?"

"I'm listening."

"We call Kimberly and then you rest; deal?"

She nodded. "Deal."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Mmm-hmm," Kimberly muttered, reading the thermometer in her hand. "Good."

"Well?" Kristin asked, craning her neck to see the readout.

"Well," the younger doctor replied, "your fever hasn't returned, which is a good sign." She turned the thermometer so Kristin could see it. "A perfect ninety-seven point six, just what we like to see. How are you feeling physically?"

"Fine."

Kimberly raised an eyebrow. "Fine? How about we try that again, hm?"

"I'm a little tired, but other than that, I feel much better," Kristin said with a sigh.

"Good," Kimberly said with a satisfied smile. "Now, have you been following the list we made together?"

"List? What list?" Nathan asked from where he was sitting on the sofa on the other side of the room.

"You mean you didn't tell him?" Kimberly asked, looking at Kristin.

"Things were a little chaotic. I hadn't had a chance," Kristin replied quietly. She turned towards Nathan. "She helped me make a list of goals."

"Easily attainable goals," Kimberly stated. "I did say you didn't need to accomplish everything at once, but I also asked you to put it on the wall where you could see it. If it's out of sight, I fear it might be out of mind as well."

"It's on the table there." Kristin pointed to a folded up piece of paper lying on the table near the door. "As I said, I hadn't had a chance to-"

"It's all right," Kimberly assured her. She took a roll of tape from her medical bag and put the list to the wall near Kristin's bed. "You haven't checked anything off, though. Have you accomplished any of these yet?"

Kristin nodded. "I asked the others for forgiveness last night."

"Good." She took a pen and crossed it off. "I wanted you to be able to see your progress, remember?" She looked at the other goals on the list. "What about eating and drinking properly?"

"I've been working on it."

"Well, maybe we won't cross that one off just yet then, since that's an ongoing thing. Um…so-"

"Am I well enough for hypnosis?" Kristin finally blurted out, no longer willing to wait. "Just because we have a few more days doesn't mean anything. I still don't have much time."

Kimberly sighed. "I know, honey. But now that we have a few more days-"

"Tomorrow?" Kristin asked hopefully. She hadn't meant to sound so desperate, but the thought of finally being rid of everything that was plaguing her suddenly overwhelmed her as tears pricked at the corners of her eyes. "P…please? I'm ready. I know I am."

Kimberly exchanged a worried glance with Nathan and then looked back at Kristin. "I think it would be safer to wait another day or two. We have plenty of time, and I think that-"

"Please? I…I don't really want to beg, but I just…I want my old life back. I can't live like this any longer. You…you promised me." She buried her face in her hands while violent sobs wracked her fragile frame, unable to hold it in any longer.

Kimberly immediately moved to wrap her arms around her. "I think you're misunderstanding me," she said, gently stroking her hair. "Of course, I'll still do the hypnosis, but we don't necessarily need to do it tomorrow…do we?"

Kristin uttered a muffled, "No," against her shoulder. "But-"

"I know you're eager to get this over with," Kimberly continued, "but as I said, my focus, first and foremost, is _you_. You keep following that list concerning your health, and come tomorrow, we'll see, all right? But it won't be the end of the world if we can't do it tomorrow, will it?"

Kristin gave a shrug, gently pulling away to wipe at her eyes. "I'd like to say no, but if Frank Knox decides to visit, I…I can't control that. I'm afraid I'll never be rid of him." Her voice began to tremble again as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. "I just can't…" Her breath came in short pants as she became worked up again. "I can't…"

Nathan was at her side in a moment, pulling her into his arms as she sobbed quietly into his shoulder. He looked at Kimberly. "Maybe you could give us a moment?"

She gave a quiet nod and walked to the other side of the room as Nathan whispered to Kristin in hushed tones.

"It's all right; you don't need to cry," he told her. "You're safe. We're not going to let-"

But Kristin pulled away from him then. "You can't guarantee that. No one can. You can't protect me. No one can." She looked across the room at Kimberly, tears still streaming down her cheeks. "I need my life back. Please?"

Kimberly sighed, walking back towards the bed. "Kristin, I understand how overwhelming this is for you."

"No, you don't. You don't know what it's like to have to worry constantly that you're going to be prey to a malicious spirit. Oh, I've been lucky so far, but what happens if I'm not the next time?" She took a deep, ragged breath. "We can say everything will be fine, that we'll play the hypnosis by ear. And then I'll go to sleep, and Frank Knox will take me. I know he will." She shook her head. "I can't take that risk. This needs to be done sooner rather than later."

"Do you trust me?" Kimberly asked her.

"I…suppose," she replied quietly. "But-"

"Haven't I told you that you are my first concern over and over again?"

"Yes, but-"

"I understand you're afraid. We all are, but you're forgetting something very important we talked about."

Kristin's brow furrowed. "What's that?"

"That you are in control."

"But I have no control over Frank Knox," Kristin protested with a shake of her head. "If I were, I wouldn't be in this mess now. I don't-"

Kimberly held up a hand. "Let's go back to all your encounters with him for a moment. Haven't you escaped every time?"

"Yes, but the last time, just barely. I might not be so lucky next time." She wiped the stray tears from her cheeks.

"I think you need to keep that in mind."

"What? I don't think I under-"

"You are absolutely right, dear," she told her.

Kristin raised an eyebrow. "I…I am?"

The younger woman nodded. "Yes, Frank Knox could visit you, and he could catch you. If that happened, what would you do?"

"I don't…" Kristin's eyebrows knitted together in thought. "I'd struggle and fight."

"And you'd remember you have the control," Kimberly told her. "Not only that, I think it's a good thing to remember that all your fears are based on speculation. Frank Knox could visit you, but he might not. You could have a peaceful night's sleep and wake up feeling better than you are today. Wouldn't that be a pleasant surprise, hm?"

"I see your point," Kristin said with a sigh. "But I still can't stand living this way. I need my life back."

"You keep saying that, but I think there's something else you're forgetting. No matter how hard you try, nothing's ever going to be the same as it was."

Kristin exchanged a glance with Nathan, and then looked back at Kimberly. "I'm not sure I understand. Are you saying this won't work now?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying," she said with a soft smile. She then took a deep breath. "May I be frank with both of you?" Upon seeing them both nod, she continued, "I've noticed that you both have a difficult time adjusting to change. Of course, that's human nature to want our environments to stay the same. We want to be surrounded by the same people; we want to have the same routine every day. Ideally, we don't want bad things to happen to anyone. But we all know it doesn't work that way. Nothing can ever stay the same. People move away, they grow old, they die. But when these changes are made in our environment, we change too." She looked at Nathan. "Captain Bridger, you're not the same person you were before your wife and son were taken from you…are you?"

Kristin turned to look at him as Nathan shook his head. "No, I suppose I'm not."

"Are you pleased with the changes?" Kimberly asked.

"Initially, no. But now, it seems I've adjusted well…for the most part."

"But it took time for you to get to the place you're at now, right?" Kimberly pressed.

"Yes…they say time heals everything, right?"

She nodded. "But that's not exactly what I was getting at. Let's see if I can make this easier." She stood and paced the room for a moment as she thought. Five minutes later, she turned back to both of them. "I think I have something I'd like to try with both of you, if you'll let me. It'll help you with the changes that are about to occur."

"With both of us?" Nathan asked, raising a brow.

"Yes, as I said, you both have trouble with change. You can't deny that."

"But I'm not the one-"

"Captain, I'm not blind. I can see that you and doctor are very…close," Kimberly said.

"We're just friends," Kristin replied quietly.

"It's none of my business," Kimberly said, holding up her hands. "But either way, you two are close, right? I think this little exercise is just what you need." She placed a hand over Kristin's. "And it will help you begin to adjust."

Kimberly then walked over to the table by the door and picked up the complimentary notepad and pen. She then drew a jagged line going in a downward direction. "This is the path the both of you have been on. In case you can't tell, it's a descending staircase. Now, we've already established nothing ever stays the same. Change is actually a necessary thing, even if we don't like it. One must change in order to become greater. And after all the changes you've both endured, you're going to come out stronger, though you may be altered slightly. However, that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. You'll be changed for the better. You understand?"

Kristin and Nathan both nodded in unison.

"Close your eyes, both of you," she instructed. "Now keep thinking about the staircase and all the changes you've gone through. There is a reservoir of great strength rising inside of you. Believe you can continue to draw that power from within and from the universe. Imagine yourselves back on _seaQuest_ where you belong. You've both been able to create your own happiness and found fulfillment in spite of the forces at play. You've been able to readjust. You've found renewal." She paused for several minutes. "You may open your eyes now." She then looked at both of them. "How do you feel?"

"Better," Nathan replied.

Kristin nodded in agreement. "But I still don't-"

Kimberly placed a hand on her shoulder. "This doesn't mean you might not have to work to find your happiness. You might need to talk to someone afterwards as well."

"You mean therapy?" she asked worriedly.

"Oh, it's nothing to be ashamed about," Kimberly assured her. "And if you'd like, I can make some arrangements. I have a colleague who is excellent, and we might be able to arrange vid-phone sessions." She placed a hand on Kristin's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Really, I think that talking to someone is the least of your worries." She paused. "I just wanted you to realize nothing can ever be the same as it was. But it's not a bad thing if it isn't."

Kristin nodded silently.

"Well, if you sure you're okay with everything, I suppose I'll leave you both?"

Nathan put an arm around Kristin. "I think we're fine now."

"Are you?" she asked Kristin.

"I…suppose. You promise you'll come by tomorrow and see if we can do the hypnosis, though?"

"Of course I will. And you just rest for the rest of the day and evening, okay?" She then looked at Nathan. "And if anything changes…"

"We'll give you a call," he told her. "Thank you for everything."

"Of course. Have a good night, you two."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin sighed and lay back against her pillows.

"You're not quite pleased with what just happened?" Nathan guessed.

She shook her head. "That's not it exactly. I just… I feel very… I just feel like even tomorrow is such a long way off. I know things can't go back exactly how they were. But I'd like to start the process, and I'm rather impatient."

"You and me both," he told her. "But we can't rush this, unfortunately."

She nodded quietly.

"Well, now that we're alone, how about we-"

But the unmistakable sound of movement from the adjoining room could be heard as Lucas sheepishly looked around the corner. He waved awkwardly. "Is it safe?"

"Of course it is, kiddo. How long have you been in there?"

Lucas shrugged, stepping inside. "Just a few minutes. I tried to be quiet, but I was still hungry." He pointed to the pizza. "I can just take this and be on my way."

But Kristin sat up and crossed her arms over her chest. "You will do no such thing."

"But-"

"That pizza is ice cold by now, and no one said you had to leave. We haven't finished our movie yet." She moved towards the middle of the bed. "Of course, I hope you don't mind an extra guest." She nodded her head towards Nathan.

Lucas grinned and looked at Nathan. "No, of course not." He then sat next to Kristin on the bed. "And by the way, I heard the good news."

She raised an eyebrow. "How in the world did you find out so fast? We haven't-"

"Doctor McEnery. She figured you two were too busy to spread the word. Everyone's very happy."

"No one happier than I," Kristin assured him. She then looked at Nathan. "Grab the menu before you sit down. We're going to need to order a proper dinner for us all."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Lucas scraped the last bit of mashed potatoes off his plate and let out a satisfied sigh. "I'm sure glad you talked me out of pizza, Doc. Chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, and macaroni and cheese is sure a lot better than pizza any day."

Kristin smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"And I'm glad to see you've finished a meal," Nathan pointed out to her. "You must have been hungry."

She nodded. "Let's just say I was so hungry that I was starting to miss the food in the mess hall."

Lucas placed a hand on her forehead. "Don't worry, Cap; no fever."

Kristin playfully slapped his hand away. "Oh, stop," she said with a light laugh. "I guess it means I'm a little homesick."

Lucas placed a hand over hers. "Don't worry; we'll be back before you know it." He then pointed towards the screen. "Here comes the best part. Where Grandpa and Charlie drink the fizzy lifting drinks."

Nathan took the empty plates and placed them on the room service cart. He then settled back down on the bed next to Kristin, pulling her close. Lucas then slung his arm over Kristin's waist as the three finished the movie.

"I'm so glad I finally was able to finish it," Kristin said. "And I couldn't have had better company. Thank you, both."

"Of course," Lucas replied. "Are you…feeling better about things now?"

Kristin thought for a moment and nodded. "I really am."

"Good," Lucas said with a smile.

"Anyone up for another movie?" Nathan asked. "Or should we call it a night?"

"It's only a little after eight," Kristin replied. "The night is still young. Let's find another movie, please."

Nathan obliged, picking up the remote and flipping through channels.

"Oh, that one," Kristin exclaimed when he stopped momentarily on a black and white film. "I mean, if it's all right with you two."

" _Casablanca_?"

"It is my favorite," she replied. "And it's been a while since I've seen it. Please?"

"Fine with me," Lucas said.

Nathan nodded. "I don't mind either, but I thought you said-"

"I know what I said, but I changed my mind."

The three of them got comfortable together on the bed once again as they quietly watched the movie. About an hour into it, Kristin heard soft snoring to her right. She smiled softly and noticed Lucas was fast asleep. She gently tapped Nathan on the arm to point it out to him when she noticed he was snoring as well.

She laughed softly to herself and turned her attention back to the screen. As the movie ended, she thought about all the things Kimberly had said. Although she was still a bit apprehensive about things, she did her best to remember she was in control, and she knew she felt better knowing she wasn't alone. She then turned the screen off and kissed Nathan and Lucas both on the cheek. "Sweet dreams, my darlings." She then snuggled in between them and fell into a peaceful sleep.


	58. Brought Back The Love, We Found Trust

**December 12, 2019**

The intoxicating aroma of coffee, blueberry pancakes, and sausage caused Kristin to stir. As she began to awaken, she heard soft footfalls and the quiet clattering of dishes. She opened her eyes and a soft smile touched her lips at the sight of Nathan setting the table with the breakfast he'd ordered. She pushed herself up and watched him for a few moments before he happened to notice her staring at him.

"Good morning," he greeted. "You look like you slept well."

"Good morning to you too," she replied with a smile. "And I did, thank you. I feel very well-rested."

Nathan moved to sit next to her on the bed. "I'm glad to hear it. Are you hungry? I ordered us breakfast."

"I can see that. It smells delicious, but I think we should wait for Lucas." She looked to her right, where Lucas was still sound asleep. She lovingly brushed her hand through his hair. "He seems to be sleeping well too."

Nathan moved to sit on the bed next to her, two cups of coffee in his hand. "At least have some coffee until he wakes up then."

"Thank you," she replied, taking the cup from him.

A few minutes of quiet passed as they sipped their coffee until Nathan asked the inevitable question.

"So…are you feeling better?"

"It took you longer than I thought it would." She paused to think for a second. "I suppose so, but I guess we'll have to let the good doctors be the judges of that, hm? I'm actually hungry, so that's a good sign, I think."

"Well, if you're hungry, you should eat. I'm sure Lucas won't mind," Nathan urged.

But she shook her head. "No, I'm fine, really. I-"

"Lucas won't mind what?" Lucas mumbled sleepily as he rolled over and looked at them both through half-lidded eyes.

"If we ate without you," Nathan told him, "but since you're awake, we don't need to do that. Come on, breakfast is getting cold."

Lucas sat up and rubbed his eyes. "It does smell good." He looked over at Kristin. "You didn't need to wait for me."

"Oh, it's all right. I've only been awake for a little while myself, and I wanted us all to eat together."

"You don't need to ask me twice," the teen replied, pushing himself out of bed and taking a seat at the table. "I'm starving."

Nathan and Kristin laughed softly and followed suit, and the small 'family' ate quietly together.

"I think I'm starting to miss home cooked food," Lucas finally blurted out. "Not that this isn't good, but it's not like my mom used to make."

Kristin raised a brow from across the table. "Your mother used to cook?"

Lucas grinned. "I know, it doesn't seem like her, does it? When I was younger, she actually did; every Saturday morning, she'd make a huge breakfast for Dad and me. That's one of the few happy memories I have from my childhood."

"That sounds lovely, though," Kristin commented.

"Yeah…"

"Tell you what," Nathan said after a moment. "When the doctor's feeling better, we'll have our own home cooking. I'm getting rather sick of ordering out myself." He then looked at Kristin. "But I realize we haven't had much choice."

"That sounds like a plan," Lucas said, taking the last bite of sausage off his plate and popping it into his mouth.

"Another pancake?" Nathan asked, motioning towards the remaining pancakes in the middle of the table.

Lucas waved a hand. "No, I think four's my limit. I'm stuffed." He stood and made his way around the table, giving Kristin a peck on the cheek. "And I think it's time for me to be going."

Kristin shook her head. "You don't need to go yet if you-"

"Actually, I do, if that's all right, that is. I promised Veronica I'd call her, and I was hoping to go to a movie with the guys. You don't mind, do you?" He looked at Nathan hopefully.

"I don't see a reason why not, but please don't think we're pushing you out."

"I know," Lucas said. "Have fun, you two."

"Likewise," Kristin told him as she watched Lucas walk into the next room, shutting the door behind him. She then turned to Nathan. "Have you had that talk with his father yet?"

"I've been a little preoccupied lately." He then reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "As soon as I get a free moment, I will, all right?"

She nodded, giving him a small smile. "I'd like to join you when you do, and perhaps we can try to get a hold of his mother as well?"

"We can arrange that," Nathan told her.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Oh, I couldn't eat another bite," Kristin said, finally setting her fork down. "I can't believe I ate as much as I did."

Nathan laughed softly. "Well, I say that's quite an improvement as of late." He eyed her carefully. "You're _really_ feeling better?"

She gave a nod. "Though I think I'd definitely feel even better after a bath. I know I had strict orders to stay in bed, but I-"

A knock at the door cut off her words, and Nathan crossed the room to open to see Kimberly.

"Good morning, Captain," she greeted pleasantly.

"Good morning." He moved aside to let her pass. "Please, come in."

"Lucas told me you were doing much better today," she said, crossing the room to Kristin. "But I had to see it for myself. And I'm glad to see you're following your list too." She motioned to the table. "I'm glad to see you're eating well."

"I've been eating like a horse," Kristin replied as her cheeks reddened slightly. "And I slept very well last night."

"Well, that's a good thing, and you needn't be embarrassed about that." She held up the doctor's bag in her hand. "I know you're eager to get this over with."

Kristin nodded, and Kimberly led her over to the bed where she began the examination while Nathan cleaned up the table. She tried to gauge Kimberly's reaction as she checked her temperature, listened to her heart and lungs, and the like, but the younger doctor's expression never changed.

"Well, you do seem to be doing better health wise," Kimberly finally said as she put her instruments away. "But I suppose I need to ask you how you feel."

"I haven't felt this good for a long time, honest."

Kimberly smiled and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I can see that, but I didn't mean physically." She paused. "I know I wasn't there, but Joshua told me about the last hypnosis. You do remember how emotionally draining it was for you?"

"Y-yes, but it was also therapeutic. And we've already established I haven't much of a choice," Kristin protested.

"No, I know. I wasn't trying to talk you out of it at all. I just wanted to be sure you remember what you're getting yourself into. You haven't had an easy time of things lately, and this… Well, it's not going to be any easier. Are you sure you're ready for it?"

"I'm more than ready," she replied, her voice confident. "I know it's not going to be easy, but it can't be harder than anything I've already been through."

"Very well," Kimberly said with a nod. "How about this afternoon?"

"Are…are you serious?"

"Of course," she said with a smile. "I know you've been waiting for this, and I think you've done remarkably well. I see no reason why we need to delay it any longer."

"Oh, thank goodness," Kristin replied. "And I don't need to be confined to bed anymore?"

"Well, I wouldn't suggest you go out for a mile run or anything, but I definitely think it's safe to go out for a walk or something if that's what you'd like." Kimberly then stood and started towards the door. "Well, how about we meet in Joshua's room at say…two?"

"That sounds fabulous," Kristin replied. "Thank you so much."

"You're very welcome. See you later," Kimberly replied as she showed herself out.

Kristin then looked across the room at Nathan, half expecting him to say something. When he didn't, she said, "You're awfully quiet over there."

"Am I?" he asked, finally turning his attention to her.

"You're not pleased with the news, are you?"

Nathan let out a sigh and moved to sit at her side. "Kristin, I want you to do what you feel you need to do. If I said I wasn't worried, it would be a lie. But I'm not upset or angry with you at all. Why would you think that?"

She gave a light shrug. "I guess because I know it won't be easy for you either."

"I'll survive," he assured her, putting his arm around her shoulders and giving her a light squeeze. "And again, I'm not angry. Now, why don't you take that bath you've been longing for, and I'll finish tidying up, okay?"

She smiled. "You don't need to twist my arm," she said, standing up and grabbing a change of clothes from her bag. She then walked towards the bathroom; the moment she stepped through the doorway, however, she felt a sudden chill run down her spine as thoughts about the last time she'd taken a bath invaded her mind. She gave a shake of her head. Surely, that wouldn't happen again, would it?

 _No_ , her head screamed, answering her own question, only she didn't believe it either. Frank Knox was her biggest hurdle, and if he suddenly decided to show up, it could certainly ruin this afternoon's plans; perhaps a bath wasn't such a good idea after all.

"Kristin?"

She jumped at the sound of Nathan's voice behind her. She turned around to face him. "Y-yes?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. It's just I've heard that if you're going to take a bath, it actually helps to get _into_ the bathtub." He grinned at his own joke.

"I…I know. I was just…thinking," she replied, lowering her gaze.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concern lacing his words.

She let out a deep sigh. "I'm just… Oh, I don't know." She turned back to him once again. "Could…could I ask you to do something for me?"

"You know you can ask me anything." His eyebrows knitted together. "What is it?"

She wrung her hands nervously. "I was wondering…if you could…" She took another breath and swallowed hard. "Would you mind…being in here with me?" She shook her head. "That came out wrong. I meant… I'm just afraid that if I'm in here alone, Frank Knox will decide to pay me a visit."

"Oh, I see," he replied, putting a hand beneath her chin and gently pushing up so she'd look at him. "I'll keep my back turned."

"Thank you," she replied quietly.

"Anytime. Um, I'll just…" He moved to stand in the corner. "I'll just stand here, I guess."

She let out a soft laugh. "You needn't stand in the corner like a naughty child." Now feeling more relaxed, she moved to turn on the tap. "I'm still decent." She then added some bubbles to the water.

Nathan turned back around to her. "Well, I was just-"

"I know," she replied with a nod.

There was a long, comfortable silence as the scent of the bubbles mixed with the steam from the bathwater filled the room. Kristin then motioned for Nathan to turn around, and she disrobed and stepped into the water, letting out a soft, contented sigh as the warm water soothed her. When she was sure her assets were covered, she said, "I think you can make yourself more comfortable now."

Nathan turned back around and moved to sit on the floor, his back turned to the bathtub. "That way, I don't see anything by mistake," he explained.

For at least five minutes, the only sound in the room was the gentle dripping of the tap. Unable to stand the silence any longer, Kristin decided to break it. "We can talk, you know."

"I know. I just thought you might like some quiet, that's all."

"I've had quiet. I don't need quiet anymore," she replied. "At least not now. Besides, I…I wanted to tell you…"

"Yes?" he urged after a few moments.

A shaky breath escaped her lips. "Maybe it's not the best time after all." Her voice was barely above a whisper as she pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them.

The shuffling noises that followed told her Nathan was now staring at her. She felt his gaze boring into the back of her neck, but she couldn't look at him, not now. She shut her eyes tightly, as if it were going to shield her from his.

Another second later, however, she felt the burning sensation of his hand on her shoulder. "Kris? What's wrong; you're trembling."

"I…I don't…" She swallowed hard in an effort to keep her voice steady. "I tried to tell my heart it wasn't the right time. And I…I know I told you I couldn't…" Another ragged breath left her lungs as she gave a shake of her head. "After Carol, I know I'm the last thing you need. I just-"

"Now stop right there," Nathan told her gently. "What makes you think I don't need you?"

She gave a quiet shrug. "When you said I reminded you of Carol, I thought…"

"I…I know what I said, but that's not what I meant. I just…I had a moment of weakness, but it certainly doesn't mean I don't need you."

Kristin felt painful tears sting her eyes as she desperately tried to numb the feeling of Nathan's touch. "I meant you didn't sign up for this…all this chaos and drama. After everything you've been through in the past... This isn't what you wanted."

She heard Nathan sigh and felt both his hands begin to rub her shoulders gently. "You didn't sign up for this either. It just happened, but that doesn't mean… Just because I've lost my wife-"

"You still love her," she said, feeling tears begin to roll down her cheeks.

"And I always will," he replied adamantly, "but that doesn't mean I can't love someone else…because as painful as it is, Carol can't be with me anymore. But you're right here, in the flesh. You see the difference?"

"Are you sure you want to take that risk?" she finally asked, crying softly. "Waste your heart on me?"

"Shh," he said gently, continuing to knead her shoulders. "I am not wasting my heart at all, and you know it."

"But you told me…" She wiped at her eyes. "I know I'm ready for the hypnosis. I need to do this, but there's still a risk it might not turn out as well as we'd like. If it doesn't…well, that would be a waste."

"No, it wouldn't." He let out a sigh. "Do you remember the letters you wrote?"

Her brow furrowed as she turned to look at him. "You mean the night we met Sylvia?"

He nodded. "And you told me they should only be opened if something bad happened to you?"

"Yes…"

"Well, I can't lie to you. Yesterday, when you weren't…when we didn't know what would happen… I needed something. I happened to look through my jacket that I'd been wearing, and surprisingly, they were still there. I only read the one addressed to me, though."

"I don't quite understand how they could still be here."

He gave a shrug. "Your guess is as good as mine. Do you remember what you wrote?"

She gave a quiet nod. "But that was before. I shouldn't… I told you I couldn't… You're the captain, and I'm your CMO. I'm sure that's breaking some sort of rule."

Nathan laughed softly. "And what rule would that be? That the CMO and the captain can't have romantic feelings for one another? I know the UEO tries to control a lot of things, but I'm pretty sure they haven't figured out how to control feelings."

She let out a sigh. "You know full well what I mean. And even though I haven't been able to stop myself from having these feelings, I'm still… After everything that's happened, it'll be a little while before I can show you anything more."

"Look at me, please?" he asked.

She hesitated before taking a deep breath and meeting his gaze.

"Haven't I already told you I'm fine with that?"

"Yes," she replied. "I just feel like you deserve to be happy."

"Who says I'm not?"

A quiet shrug was her only reply.

He placed a gentle kiss to the back of her neck. "This is the happiest I've been in a long time. I don't want you thinking otherwise. Is that understood?"

"But…"

"Kristin, please? The only answer I want to hear is okay. You trust me, don't you?"

"Always," she said with a nod.

"Then you should know I'm being sincere, right?"

She gave another silent nod.

"Then what does that tell you? I haven't left you yet, have I?"

"Unless we're counting yesterday, no."

"As I said, it was a moment of weakness." He placed a light kiss to her shoulder. "And you don't know how sorry I am for it."

"You're forgiven."

Nathan rubbed her shoulders a bit more. "Thank you, but no more worrying about me, all right? Not that I don't appreciate it. I think it's very sweet of you, but I think you need to worry more about yourself right now."

She let out a sigh. "Worrying about you helps take my mind off other things."

"Fine, a compromise then. Worry about me a little less, hm?"

She nodded and turned her head towards him. "I really don't deserve you."

"No, my dear, you're wrong. It's I who doesn't deserve you." He placed a kiss to her nose.

She gave him a small smile. "As much as I'd love to argue with you, I'm turning into a prune. I think I ought to wash up now."

"All right," he said with a laugh, moving to turn his back from her again. "I'm glad we had this talk, though."

"I am too," she said as she began to wash.

"We'll get through this, Kristin. I just know it."

She gave him a nod and forced a smile. She wanted to believe him, and she hoped he was right. She just wanted this hypnosis to be over as quickly as possible.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The rest of the morning went on without any impromptu visits from Frank Knox.

"Well, now that you're dressed, how about a surprise?" Nathan asked.

Kristin raised a brow. "What sort of surprise?"

Nathan gave her a smile. "I've already called us a cab while you were combing your hair. I was hoping you'd want to go out."

"Well, I have felt a little cooped up." She looked down at what she was wearing: jeans and a white T-shirt. "But I'm not really dressed for anything fancy."

"Don't worry; it doesn't matter what you're wearing. Now, let's go downstairs. The cab should be here any minute."

A short time later, they were seated in the back of a cab. Kristin glanced at Nathan expectantly, hoping he'd tell the driver where they were headed, but to her disappointment, he simply handed him a piece of paper.

When the driver gave him a look, he said, "It's a surprise for the lady."

The driver cast a smile towards Kristin and pulled the cab away from the curb.

"That wasn't very nice, you know," Kristin told him once they were on the road.

He looked at her innocently. "I have no idea what you mean."

"Can't you give me a hint?" she asked, giving his arm a playful tap.

"Just watch out the window. I think you'll figure it out, all right?"

Kristin let out a frustrated sigh, but did as she was told. She watched the scenery go by as they drove out of town. As they went up and down hills, she did notice something familiar about their journey. "Oh, I know where we're going," she finally said. "I'd forgotten."

Nathan put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "At least I'm not making you walk up the hill this time, hm?"

"Thank goodness," she replied. "I'm not sure I'd have the energy."

As the cab came to a halt, Nathan instructed the driver to stay where he was as he took Kristin's hand and led her through the lush vegetation. "Well, as I said, the way to get here is a bit different in our time period…"

"But the scenery hasn't changed at all," Kristin replied with a soft gasp. "It's even more beautiful than I remember." She moved to have a seat at the edge of the cliff overlooking the waterfall. "This is so relaxing, thank you."

"I knew you'd like it," Nathan said, sitting down next to her. "I thought we'd just sit and relax here."

Kristin leaned up against his chest. "I'm glad you had this idea. It is so peaceful here."

"Likewise. I figured you needed something relaxing."

She smiled softly. "Is it that obvious that I'm scared to death?"

"No, actually it's not. You're hiding it well." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "But I think things are going to be better than you think."

"I certainly hope so."

"I know they will," he replied confidently. "I just know."

The two continued to talk quietly as they listened to the calming flow of the waterfall. And eventually, the conversation slowed. Nathan pulled her into his arms and held her close for quite a while.

"As nice as this is," Kristin finally said, "I think we should probably be getting back."

"I know. I just didn't want to be the first to say it." He pushed himself up and offered his hand to her.

She took it and they walked back to the cab hand in hand.


	59. Vowed We'd Never Give It Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hypnosis scenes in italics, as per the usual.

One hour later, Nathan and Kristin were in Joshua's room, waiting for Kimberly. He sat in the armchair while Kristin sat on the sofa, though Nathan noted how quiet and pale she'd become. He desperately wanted to speak with her one more time before the hypnosis got under way, but as he opened his mouth to offer her a word of comfort, Joshua came over to them.

"We have a little time before Kimberly gets here." He looked at Kristin. "Would you like some water, perhaps?"

She nodded, speaking quietly, "That might help, thank you."

"I'll be right back with some bottles of water," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder and offering her a smile.

As Joshua left them, Nathan moved to sit next to her, putting an arm around her trembling shoulders. "You're stronger than you think, you know."

She let out a shaky breath. "I'm certainly not feeling very strong right now."

"That's what I'm here for," he replied, taking her hand in his and giving it a squeeze. "You're going to get through this with flying colors."

"Do…do you really believe that?"

"Of course; don't you?"

"I want to, surely, but we both know there's a possibility…"

"Shh," he told her gently. "We can't think about that."

She nodded and laid her head on his chest. "I'm glad you're here."

"I am too," he replied, tightening his hold on her.

A few moments of quiet passed before Kristin spoke again, "Nathan? You…you still have the other letters?"

"Yes."

"Then you'll deliver them if…if I don't…"

Her small voice was heartbreaking, and Nathan had to swallow the own lump in his throat before speaking for fear he'd break down. "Of course, sweetheart, but you don't need to worry. I…just know it."

He heard soft sniffles, and she mumbled something he couldn't quite make out. She then looked at him, her eyes glistening.

"Don't cry, please. Everything…everything's going to be fine." He then kissed her gently on the lips. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she replied, snuggling up against him once again.

Neither of them even heard the door open and close once again until they heard Joshua's voice.

"Uh, I hate to break this up," he said.

Kristin instantly pulled away from Nathan and wiped her eyes. "It's fine."

"Here's your water." He passed each of them a bottle.

"Thank you," Kristin replied.

Nathan watched her hands shake as she opened the bottle and brought it to her lips. He sighed and took a drink of his own, hoping and praying that everything would go absolutely perfect for her…and for him as well.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

About five minutes later, Kimberly entered the room, a pleasant smile on her face. "Good afternoon, everyone." She moved to sit on the opposite side of Kristin. "Why the long face, dear? Aren't you excited?"

"Part of me is, but the frightened part is taking over." She looked down at her hands, feeling her face grow warm.

Kimberly's arm went around her shoulders. "Well, I can understand feeling nervous, but I promise you this is going to be easier than you think. Remember, you're in control."

Kristin nodded. "I just don't feel-"

"Why don't you two give us a few moments?" Kimberly looked expectantly at the two men. "I promise I'll call you back in before we begin."

Nathan gave Kristin's shoulder a gentle squeeze before getting up, and Joshua followed suit, closing the door behind him.

"Remember, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. No one's going to force you, Kristin."

Kristin gave a nod. "I know that. I really do feel that this is the right move. I'm just…scared."

"Of what exactly?"

"Well, Frank Knox, obviously. He's plagued me for just a couple of weeks and Sylvia for a lifetime." She shook her head. "It's not just me I need to worry about…but her too. And what happens if I face him, and I can't forgive him? What if I freeze up, forget everything I'm supposed to do? He's killed me once."

"But you came back," Kimberly pointed out.

"What if I don't get another chance?" Kristin asked quietly. "If I make a mistake-"

"Do you trust me?"

Her brow furrowed. "What?"

"Do you trust me?" Kimberly said again.

"Y-yes…"

Kimberly gave her a warm smile. "Then you'll believe me when I tell you that you can't make a mistake, not if you're the one in control. I am not going to let anything happen to you at all. You need to believe that."

Kristin nodded but didn't offer an answer. She wanted to believe Kimberly. She knew she'd never deliberately lead her into dangerous territory, yet she also remembered what happened the last time.

She heard Kimberly sigh and take Kristin's hand in hers. "Close your eyes."

Kristin did so.

"Good. Now deep breath in; now out. Again. Wonderful." She made Kristin repeat this several times over until she felt her hand relax in hers. "Better?"

"A little…"

"Well, I don't think anything's going to take your nervousness away completely, not until we get this over with."

Kristin gave another quiet nod, lowering her gaze. "I suppose we should call the others in then?"

"We may as well, but first, I'd like to tell you one last thing. I've been where you are, and I know exactly how you feel."

Kristin looked up, raising an eyebrow. "You mean…"

"We'll have a long talk when all is said and done. We really should get started."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin watched as Nathan and Joshua came back into the room. Nathan went to sit on the other side of the room, but he gave her an encouraging smile, which she tried to return. Joshua sat next to him while Kimberly sat in the armchair next to the sofa.

She took Kristin's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Lie down and close your eyes, sweetie."

Kristin did so, but she felt her heart skip a beat or two.

"Just relax," Kimberly told her. "We're going to concentrate on breathing first. Deep breath in and let it out slowly. Again. Good. Now keep doing that, but we're going to add some visualization. Joshua said you responded well to the last time?"

"Yes…"

"Very well; I want you to imagine yourself walking along the beach. As you're walking along, you come across an old treasure chest. You notice it has a lock on the front of it, but the key is in the lock as well. Turn the key and open the lock."

"Okay…"

"Good. The chest is empty, but you're going to fill it with all your troubles and worries. List them off in your head and place them inside. Let me know when you've done so."

Kristin took a few deep breaths, thinking about everything she was still worried about. Unlike the last two times, however, her worries were not concerning actual events anymore but rather people. _Number one, Frank Knox. Number two, Sylvia. Number three, Cynthia. Number four, Nathan. Number five, Lucas. Number six, the rest of the crew._ When she was sure she'd placed every worry in that chest, she said, "I'm finished."

"Good," Kimberly said. "Now, close the chest and lock it."

"All right."

"I'm going to take that chest for you. I'll be responsible for all your worries, so try not to think about them anymore for the time being, okay? I'm here to take care of you, got it?"

"Got it," Kristin replied.

"See, you're doing wonderfully," Kimberly said. "Now relax and let's breathe in and out. Again. Deep breath. In…and out. Well done." After several minutes, she asked, "How are you doing?"

"Almost asleep. I…I'm ready." She felt Kimberly squeeze her hand.

"I'm glad to hear it. Okay, count backwards with me."

"Twenty, nineteen, eighteen…" And it wasn't long before Kristin gave herself over completely.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_Kristin expected to be transported back to the night of Sylvia's murder, only that wasn't the case at all. She found herself on the beach that she'd created in her mind. She wasn't sure if she should be relieved about that._

_She stood on the sandy shore, looking all around her. She didn't see anyone else around, not even a bird in the sky. "Well, now what?" she muttered._

_She then heard Kimberly's voice. "Remember, you're in control, Kristin."_

" _In control, indeed," she said with a heavy sigh. She couldn't help but think how ironic this was; she'd been so adamant about trying to avoid Frank Knox, and now she found herself pursuing him. She wasn't even sure where to start looking. She started to walk, only her feet felt like they were made of stone and her knees felt weak._

_She stopped and took a few deep breaths. "Calm down, Kristin," she said under her breath. "You're in control. You…you can do this. You have to do this." She then forced herself forward, hoping this would go as easy as possible._

_As she walked along, however, she still saw no one. She let out a soft groan of frustration when she heard something in the distance. She stopped and listened intently. It sounded like Sylvia's screaming. Her heart sank as she started running towards the source of the sound._

_She came to the forest area and started running until she'd come to the clearing, the same clearing where she'd seen Jack as a scarecrow. She stopped to catch her breath, hoping he'd be there to help her, guide her, assure her everything would be all right. Only there was no one there. The three paths, however, were._

" _Which one do I take?" she wondered desperately. Another scream echoed in the distance, just beyond the trees. She really didn't have time to dally around. She closed her eyes and reminded herself she was in control once again and that she shouldn't be able to make a mistake. She hoped that were true as she chose the second path, hoping that would lead her to Sylvia._

_As she ran through the wooded area, the branches caught at her clothing, scratched at her arms. But Sylvia's screams grew louder and clearer, telling her she had to be going in the right direction._

" _Let me go! You don't have to do this!"_

_Kristin stopped short when she heard the sinister laughter that followed: Frank Knox. She shook her head. Was it possible that this was a trap? Did Knox knowingly set this all up?_

_And if it were a trap, would she be able to escape? Would Sylvia? A shaky breath passed her lips as she tried to decide what to do._

_Once again, however, she heard Kimberly's calm voice. "Kristin, you're not alone. We're all here with you, and you have the control. You can do this."_

_She sucked in a deep breath and moved quickly, almost sure she knew where they were now._

_As she neared the end of the path, she found her suspicions were confirmed, since she saw the opening to the cave that Sylvia had led her to previously. She carefully approached the opening of the cave, but upon hearing Knox's voice, she froze in her steps, feeling a shudder deep in her bones._

_She moved back, falling to her feet in the warm sand. "I…I don't know what to do," she muttered to herself. Entering the cave wouldn't solve anything. She had no weapons of any kind to be able to take him down. As Sylvia let out another pained cry, Kristin buried her face in her hands, feeling at a loss of what to do next._

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"I…I can't go on."

Nathan watched from the corner of the room as a soft cry escaped Kristin's throat, even though her eyes remained closed.

Kimberly took her hand. "Yes, you can. _You_ are in control, remember?"

But Kristin shook her head in protest. "I don't see how I can be. I never even planned to be here."

Kimberly stroked her hair gently and whispered something to her Nathan couldn't quite make out. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to help Kristin any because she began sobbing a bit harder.

Suddenly, everything Jack had said came flooding back to him: that _he_ was the one who had to make her believe she had the strength. That _he_ was the one who had to point her to the right path.

Nathan stood, finally understanding what his role was in all this, but Joshua held up a halting hand. "I thought you had agreed?"

"I know, and I'm not going to try to stop this. But I need to help. Jack told me I would." He gave Joshua a pleading look. "I'd never do anything to sabotage this."

Joshua hesitated for a moment and then lowered his arm. "Then all I'll say is good luck."

"Thanks, Joshua." Nathan then carefully approached the two women.

Kimberly was still trying to convince Kristin of what she needed to do, but she appeared to be inconsolable.

"Please, don't…I don't want to do this," Kristin sobbed. "I can't."

"I think you should at least try," Kimberly told her. "You've come a long way."

But Kristin shook her head once again. "I…I'm not strong enough. Maybe I never was. I…I can't do this anymore."

Kimberly sighed in frustration and looked to her right, finally noticing Nathan standing there.

"I know this might be an odd request," he said, "but do you mind if I tried? Please?"

Kimberly thought for a brief second and then nodded, standing up and allowing Nathan to take her chair.

Nathan did so and gently stroked Kristin's hair. "Kristin?"

"Na-Nathan?" she said through her tears. "I…I am so glad you're here. Please, you…you have to help me get back. I…I can't do this anymore. Knox…I think he's set up a trap. I don't think there's any way I can go in there. He'll capture me too, I'm sure of it." She let out another sob. "Please, don't make me go in there."

"Shh," Nathan told her. "Don't cry, sweetheart."

"I'm trying not to, but I'm…I'm so frightened…and…and I'm not sure why exactly. I just…I know something bad is going to happen."

"It's all right. Just calm down. I'm right here with you. I've always told you I won't let anything happen to you, haven't I?"

"Y-yes…"

"And you trust me, don't you?"

"I'll always trust you," she replied as she began to calm.

"Good," he replied, placing a kiss to her forehead. "Then you'll believe me when I tell you that you have to keep going."

She shook her head. "No, Nathan, I can't. I'm not strong enough. Knox…"

Nathan watched as she covered her ears with her hands, tears running down her cheeks again.

"She…she's screaming. He's hurting her! He…he'll hurt me too, Nathan! I know he will. Please, don't make me!"

Nathan pulled her into his arms. "Kristin, stop. Just calm down, please? No one is going to hurt you. I promise you."

"But…but Knox, he-"

"I know," Nathan told her, "but you know as well as I that the only way to get over this is to face him. You know what you're there to do: to forgive him."

"I don't think I'm strong enough. And…and what if Sylvia…"

"Shh. You are stronger than you think. You can do this. I know you can. You've always had the power within you."

She was silent for a long time before she finally answered. "On one condition," she whispered.

"Anything."

"Don't leave me, please."

"I never would," he told her. "I'll hold your hand the whole time."

"Thank you," she replied, pulling away from him then and lying back down. "I…I'm glad you're here."

"I am too," Nathan told her. "I am too."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

_Kristin wiped the tears from her cheeks and forced herself to her feet. Although she felt shaky, she knew Nathan had been right: she had to go through with this, even if that meant Frank Knox would do horrible things to her again. It had happened once; he certainly couldn't do any worse. However, knowing that Nathan was with her through it all provided a small comfort as she carefully approached the opening of the cave._

_A low gasp escaped her throat when she saw what Knox had done to poor Sylvia. She sat on the floor of the cave, her hands and feet bound by ropes tied to stakes. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as Knox taunted her._

" _It won't be long until she comes for you," he said with a laugh. "You know she won't be able to stay away."_

" _You…you leave her alone! This is between you and me. She's got nothing to do with it," Sylvia begged him._

" _Be that as it may, you've opened the door. And I've decided I quite like her. I won't give her up so easily."_

" _Well, you finally have your wish then," Kristin said, entering the cave. She was surprised at how confident her voice sounded; she only hoped Knox didn't know how much she was shaking._

_Knox smiled evilly. "I knew you'd take the bait sooner or later. I've been waiting for you. So has Sylvia."_

" _Kristin, please, you need to go," Sylvia told her. "I…I was wrong. I should have never done any of this. This…this is my hardship to bear, not yours. Go back to your life. I'll be fine."_

" _I can't do that yet," Kristin replied, "and you know why. But as soon as-" She cried out as Knox pulled her roughly by the arm and holding it behind her back._

" _You should have listened to her," he growled in her ear._

_Kristin felt the rough pressure of rope going around her wrist. She struggled, trying to make it difficult for him, but he was far stronger than she; he grabbed her other wrist, tying her hands behind her back._

" _Now you are both mine forever," Knox said, pushing her down on the floor. He placed a finger to his chin. "The only question is which one of you to take first."_

_He smiled, rubbing a hand on Kristin's cheek. "Oh, but I think I'll save you for last, hm? I think I've made Sylvia wait long enough."_

" _No! P-please," Sylvia cried as Knox loomed over her, unbuttoning his trousers._

_Kristin, however, tried to keep calm. "Sylvia, it's all right. I…I'm right here with you. We…we can put an end to this. All we need to do is-"_

" _No!" Sylvia screamed. "I could…I could never forgive this…this monster."_

" _A monster, am I?" Knox yelled, ripping her skirt. "I'll show you monster."_

" _Sylvia, please. S-say it with me," Kristin instructed. "You…you said you'd do this for me. Do it for Jack, for the others. For yourself. Please?"_

_Sylvia struggled beneath Knox, screaming in protest._

_Kristin thought for a moment. If she could just distract Knox and get Sylvia to focus… An idea finally occurred to her, but would it work? "Oh, Frank?" she called, hoping he'd look in her direction._

" _What…what is it? Can't you see I'm-"_

_When he locked eyes with her, she batted her eyelashes. "I…I just realized how incredibly handsome you are, and I…" She blushed and looked down. "I certainly hope you don't think I'm being too forward."_

" _Kristin, what are you doing?" Sylvia asked as Knox stood and started towards Kristin._

_Kristin, however, didn't answer. She smiled softly as Knox moved towards her._

" _I'm glad you're starting to come around. I had always hoped Sylvia would be the one to say those words."_

" _Well, Sylvia doesn't realize your potential like I do," Kristin replied, making sure her voice sounded husky. By the look in Knox's eyes, it was driving him wild._

_Knox knelt before her. "You…you really see my full potential?"_

" _Of course I do. And I happen to think you're incredibly sexy."_

" _Oh, really?" he said, bringing his lips closer to hers._

" _Yes," she replied. She swallowed a gag as she kissed him, making sure it lasted several seconds until Knox had to pull away for air._

" _Oh, darling, I-"_

" _Now, Sylvia!" Kristin cried. "We have to say it together."_

" _Are…are you sure?"_

" _As sure as I'll ever be."_

_Knox looked from one to the other, his eyebrows knitting together. "Just what are you two-"_

" _We forgive you," both women said in unison._

_Suddenly, a rumbling sounded in the distance._

" _S-Sylvia?" Kristin questioned._

_Before Sylvia could answer, rain came down in torrents, drowning out any other sounds._

_As if the surroundings were a watercolor painting, Kristin watched in surprise as everything around her began to melt away. The cave, the beach, the ropes that bound her – everything drained of color until there was nothing left but white. When the rain was gone, she noticed Sylvia had disappeared as well._

" _Sylvia?" She hadn't meant to sound so panicked, but she realized there was nothing left but her and Frank Knox._

_He stood and walked towards her._

" _P-please, don't hurt me," she begged, covering her face with her arms._

" _I don't plan on it," he replied._

_Kristin noted the quality of his voice suddenly changed, no longer sounding sinister. She lowered her hands. "W-what?"_

" _I never meant to hurt anyone. I…I never wanted to hurt Sylvia. I never wanted to hurt you. My vision…became clouded. I…I truly am sorry."_

_Kristin stared at him for a few moments, but she didn't doubt his sincerity. "I've already told you you're forgiven. Where are we exactly?"_

" _You should know. You've been here before. He waved his hand, and Kristin saw the large tree in the background; the white began to be replaced with flowers and long green grass. The sky became a gorgeous blue._

" _And Sylvia?"_

" _You've set her free," he told her._

" _You mean she's crossed over?"_

" _Not quite." He placed a hand on hers. "I truly am sorry, and now I have others to apologize to." He motioned towards the tree, and Kristin noticed her past lives welcoming Sylvia into their arms._

" _I'll go with you," Kristin told him._

" _Oh, no, you can't. You need to go back and finish what you started."_

" _But I-"_

" _Thank you for finally opening my eyes," he told her. "Perhaps our paths will cross again one day."_

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Is…is it over?" Nathan looked over his shoulder at Kimberly. Kristin had grown quiet, her body limp, though he could see she was breathing, which was a relief.

Kimberly knelt down next to the sofa. "Kristin? What's going on?"

"I…I did it. They…they told me I need to come back."

"Wonderful," Kimberly said. "Okay, deep breath in and out. Again, please. Good. And you can open your eyes in three, two, one…"

Kristin's eyes fluttered open. "Nathan?"

"I'm here, sweetheart."

"I…I did it," she whispered.

"I knew you could do it," he told her.

She gave him a soft smile. "I couldn't have done it without you."


	60. Remember When Thirty Seemed So Old?

"I am sorry for interrupting the reunion," Kimberly said, placing a hand on Nathan's shoulder, "but if you could give us a few moments?"

He nodded and gave Kristin's hand a squeeze. "I won't go far."

"Thank you," Kristin whispered, holding onto his hand for a moment longer and then releasing it.

"Well, now," Kimberly said to Kristin, "I'm sure you're exhausted, so I'd like to run a quick examination and-"

"Wait," Kristin interrupted. "Yes, Sylvia and I have forgiven Frank Knox, but…" She tried to search for the right words, letting out a sigh. "Sylvia…the others? What about them?"

Kimberly's eyebrows knitted together as she sat down next to Kristin. "What _about_ Sylvia and the others? Aren't they all together now?"

"Well, yes, but we're not quite finished yet; we still need to find the letter. But I thought that considering everything…how many times I've spoken with them already…" A shaky breath left her lips. "I still need to speak to them; I have so many questions. I need to see Sylvia. I need to make sure she-"

"Slow down, dear," Kimberly told her, casting a worried glance towards Nathan and Joshua. "You're absolutely right; you are not finished with this. However, I think you need to realize it's over for the time being. You've done what you set out to do."

Kristin's brow furrowed as she gave a shake of her head. "I'm not sure I did. I feel…strange…"

"Well, that's not surprising," Kimberly said with a sigh, "but you need to worry about yourself for now, remember? Sylvia and her problems with have to wait."

Kristin opened her mouth to reply, but then closed it once again, realizing it was futile. She wanted to remind Kimberly that Sylvia's problems were also her own, but it didn't seem to matter much. She could see the concerned looks the others were giving her, so she decided to drop the subject for now, though she wasn't content in doing so.

She watched as Kimberly took out her medical bag and took out the stethoscope, placing the buds into her hears. She turned back to Kristin with a smile. "Let's have a listen, shall we?"

After checking her blood pressure, her breathing, her heart, and temperature, Kimberly then put her instruments away, though Kristin felt a bit of frustration over the fact that the younger doctor didn't share any of the results with her yet. She couldn't even gauge a reaction by her facial expressions.

"How do you feel physically?" Kimberly then asked.

That was a loaded question, Kristin knew, and she was sure Kimberly knew the answer. Still, she decided to humor the younger doctor. "Tired, but I-"

"Hmm-hmm," the younger woman replied with a nod. "Your blood pressure is a little low, but nothing too serious. Probably a result of the hypnosis and most likely the reason for the exhaustion. I'd say you ought to take it easy for the rest of the day and possibly tomorrow as well."

"Very well, but as far as Sylvia…will I be able to see her again, by chance?"

Kimberly stared at her for a moment. "You mean right now?"

"I…I'm not sure, but I feel…" She took a deep breath. Just what was she feeling exactly? She wasn't sure, but she felt …odd. It was quite different than anything she'd felt over the past couple of weeks. She felt as though she'd lost a part of herself; if anything, she was feeling deep, emotional pain. "I feel lost." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "If I could just hear Sylvia confirm that she's all right, I'd feel much better. I don't…I don't think I can feel her anymore, and that…that frightens me."

She lowered her gaze to the floor, but she could still feel Kimberly's eyes on her, could tell that Nathan and Joshua were giving her worried glances. She wrung her hands together; oh, she couldn't blame them. She realized she didn't exactly sound sane at the moment. She'd been hoping, praying, even begging the universe for the time when she'd finally be free, when she'd no longer have Sylvia with her. She just never anticipated the empty feeling she'd have as a result.

She jumped slightly when she felt Kimberly's hand on her shoulder. "I wouldn't advise going under again. It wouldn't do you any favors. I'm sure if Sylvia knows you need her, she'll show up. She always has before."

"But this is different!" Kristin hadn't meant for her voice to sound so shrill, so desperate, but she felt like no one was listening to her. She took a deep breath in an effort to calm down since she noticed the concerned looks the others were giving her. "I can't feel her like I did before. It's difficult to explain. I… What if I lost her?" Her voice trembled slightly. "I just…I didn't think…"

Kimberly stroked Kristin's hair gently. "I suppose I should have prepared you for this. You might be right."

Kristin swallowed the lump in her throat as she looked at her, raising a brow.

"It's quite possible she _has_ left you, but you shouldn't see that as a bad thing. The truth is, she doesn't need you anymore. She's happy. She's where she should be. Well, almost, but the point is, she's not in pain anymore. She's left limbo, which was your goal all along." She wrapped her arms around her. "And you have no reason to be upset about that. You should be happy; Sylvia seems to be."

"But-"

"The best thing to do now is to rest." She looked at Nathan. "You'll see she stays in bed the rest of the day?"

He gave a nod, moving back over to the sofa to sit next to Kristin.

"I think you're in good hands, Kristin. Do you have any other questions?"

She glanced towards Nathan. "I…suppose not…" That was a lie, and she was sure the others knew that too. But what was the point anymore? Sylvia was gone, and there wasn't anything she could do about it. She let out a heavy sigh at the thought.

"Good," Kimberly said, giving her shoulder a squeeze. "I'll stop by to see you a little later. Remember, you have nothing to be upset about. I'm sure Sylvia's very happy."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Nathan couldn't help but notice how quiet Kristin was since they'd gotten back to her room. She wouldn't say a single word to him, and he wasn't sure what to say or do. He sat on the sofa while she sat on the bed, her back against the headboard and her arms crossed over her chest.

"Um, so…" He nervously cleared his throat. "I-"

She let out an exasperated sigh. "You don't need to struggle for something to say. There's really nothing _to_ say. It's over."

"But yet you don't sound very convincing," he replied, finally deciding to move to sit next to her on the bed. "You don't believe it's over at all, do you?"

She gave a light shrug. "What does it matter? I'll only get the same answer: that there's nothing I can do now. And really, I sound like a spoiled child. I've finally gotten what I wanted: to be rid of Sylvia and Frank Knox, but I'm still miserable." She let out a snort. "No wonder everyone thinks I'm crazy."

"No one thinks you're crazy, Kristin. Did anyone say that? I know I didn't."

"No one needed to say it. I could see the looks everyone was giving me." She shook her head. "And I honestly can't blame them. If it were anyone else, I'd question his or her sanity too." Another sigh escaped her. "I just didn't realize it would feel like this…like my heart's been ripped from my chest and that there's now a huge, gaping hole in my soul. I thought I'd feel relieved and happy, not… Well, I'm not sure what it is I'm feeling. It just…hurts."

Nathan heard her voice began to tremble slightly, and he put an arm around her shoulders, unsure of what else to do.

"It's really unlike any pain I've known before," she went on. Her voice was quiet, but steady once again. "Wait a minute, you must know what it's like, don't you?" She turned to look at him. "Do you feel like you've lost Jack?"

He shook his head. "I think when we were all brought back here after the storm, we lost any sort of connection with our past counterparts. The only one who really seemed to retain it was you."

She pulled away from him. "But…you said you'd spoken to Jack. You said he pulled in…that he…"

"He did, but that was… I'm not sure what it was. I guess it didn't affect me like it did you. I don't know what else to tell you." When she didn't offer any sort of reply, he moved to place a gentle hand on her shoulder. The moment he did, he realized she was crying quietly. "Kris?"

She silently pushed his hand away and shook her head. "You needn't fawn over me anymore, Nathan," she told him, her voice thick with emotion. "There's no reason to worry anymore. You really should go; I'm supposed to be resting, remember?"

"Kristin, please, I-"

"Just, go away, _please_. I just want to go to sleep and try to forget everything." She turned over and buried her face in her pillow.

Nathan could tell she was crying again, though she tried to hide it. He heard her mumble something that sounded like an apology. He resisted the urge to ignore her pleading and quietly made his way to his room. He stood in the doorway for a brief moment and said, "If you need anything, you know where to find me. I hope you sleep well." He heard a soft sob in response as he shut the door behind him.

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Once alone in his room, Nathan paced back and forth for the greater part of an hour, at a loss of what to do now. As much as he hated to admit it, Kristin was right about one thing: there was really nothing left to do or say, at least not that he could think of. He'd placed his hand on that doorknob several times over, only to remove it and step away once again. He needed to admit to himself that she didn't need him to protect her anymore. The danger was over, so it seemed.

Yet, her pain still lingered. It hung in the air like a thick fog that even he couldn't seem to break through. Kimberly had told them that she'd have a bit of difficulty adjusting once all was said and done, and he figured as much, considering she did experience Sylvia's rape and murder firsthand. He just didn't expect her to withdraw so soon. And he really didn't expect her to withdraw from him at all. He thought they'd made it past that point, considering the talks they had about it, even just this morning.

But he could still hear her soft sniffling from the other room, and the fact he couldn't do anything for her was eating away at him. He needed to get away. But should he? He moved towards the closed door and knocked quietly. "Kristin, sweetheart, I…I'm just letting you know I'm leaving for a little while."

"That's fine," was the muffled response.

"I…I won't be gone too long. Just try to get some rest." He paused for a moment longer until he heard another muffled reply and then left the room.

No, he wasn't exactly sure where he was going. He was just hoping to run into the others, even if it were just Doctor McEnery. He knew there would be nothing she could do, but he needed someone to talk to, to ease his mind. He walked down the corridor, hoping to see a familiar face. Naturally, he found it empty. This late in the day, they'd already made plans to go out and about. Lucas and 'the guys' were supposed to go to a movie, he remembered. He sighed and hit the button for the elevator, deciding he'd go for a walk on the beach. That might at least help him clear his mind. A moment later, the elevator doors opened, and he was both relieved and surprised to see Tim.

"Captain," he greeted with a smile. "Fancy meeting you here. I thought you'd be with Dr. Westphalen."

"Mr. O'Neill," Nathan said with a nod. "And I thought you were going to a movie with the others?"

Tim gave a shrug. "Well, Lucas had his heart set on seeing one of those slaughterhouse horror movies, and Ben didn't want to disappoint him, considering his parents seem to be doing a good job of that on their own lately. I just decided to sit this one out since horror movies aren't my thing." He paused to look over Nathan's shoulder. "Where _is_ Dr. Westphalen? I thought she was feeling better?"

Nathan sighed. "She was, but that was short-lived. She's lying down; doctor's orders for the rest of the day, at least."

"Oh…" the younger man replied. "I really should go see her later. Do you think she'd mind a little company?"

"I really don't know what she'd mind or wouldn't mind right now. She's having a hard time at the moment, and she doesn't want to talk to me about it."

"Oh, I see."

Nathan could see the sad look on the younger man's face. "But she might talk to you," he pointed out. "Have you had dinner yet?"

"No, actually."

"What do you say we get a bite to eat, and I'll fill you in? I could use an ear anyway, if you'd lend me one."

Tim gave him a grin. "I'd like that."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"…and now, she says she feels lost." Nathan paused to take a bite of his chicken sandwich. "I can't say I don't understand it. I think I do. After giving birth, Carol had a case of postpartum depression…took her months to get over it. It's really the only thing I can think of to compare."

"What did they do for her? Your wife, I mean?" Tim asked before taking a bite of his salad.

"Oh, well, I helped as much as I could for the first few weeks, but then I was in active duty then… She got some therapy and joined some sort of support group." His brows knitted together as he thought. "By the time I came home on shore leave, she seemed fine, so whatever they did for her seemed to work."

"Well, couldn't we do the same thing for Dr. Westphalen?"

"We plan on it," Nathan replied, "but this was rather…sudden. She just became attached to Sylvia so fast, and now, she has a hard time letting go. Not only that, the fact she no longer has the ring seems to be bothering her greatly as well. She hasn't mentioned it for a while, but I know she's not pleased about it." He let out a sigh, pushing a piece of broccoli around his plate with his fork.

"It seems to be bothering you too," Tim pointed out.

Nathan gave a shrug. "I think it's more the fact she won't talk to me. Usually, I can at least help her feel better, even if I can't solve her problems. I just don't like when she pushes me away. I can't help her when she does that."

Tim raised an eyebrow. "The doctor never needed to depend on anyone before."

"What?"

"I think you know her better than the rest of us, but you know how she was…is. She likes to stand on her own two feet; or at least, that's the image she likes to portray to the rest of us."

Nathan shook his head. "But she's not invincible. We've all seen that."

"I don't think she's trying to be invincible, but I do think she's trying to find a way for her to deal with it all on her own again," Tim replied. "She's probably trying to make sense of it all before she talks to anyone else. And healing won't come overnight."

"I never expected it to. But I just wanted…" He trailed off as he let out a sigh. "Well, I realize now I can't have what I want. I wanted to protect her, take her pain away." He cradled his chin in his hand. "But no matter how hard I try, I can't."

"I think she knows that and whether it seems like it or not, I'm sure she appreciates it. But I think she's at the point where she needs to depend on herself, not someone else."

They finished their meals in silence before Nathan spoke again. "So you think this is just temporary?"

"Yeah, I do. I can't see her pushing us all out forever."

Nathan gave him a small smile. "I certainly hope you're right."

"Well, maybe I should put my visit off for the time being. If she wants to be alone, I don't want to invade that privacy."

Nathan gave a shrug. "I really don't know if she wants to be alone exactly. I don't think it would hurt to try later, if you feel like it. I think she'd be pleased to see you."

"You think?"

Nathan thought for a moment. "Yeah, I do."

"Well, maybe I'll try to stop by her room a little later then," Tim replied.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Kristin had cried herself to sleep. She had been hoping she'd dream of Sylvia, that she'd be pulled into her world just like all the other times before, only she awoke hours later to find her hopes crushed. She sat up and let out a groan. Physically, the rest helped her feel better, but emotionally… She sighed and pushed herself out of bed to walk into the bathroom. She turned on the light and moved to stand in front of the mirror.

She still looked the way she did days ago, she thought. She still looked pale and thin, and the dark circles under her eyes seemed to be permanent. She clicked her tongue in disgust. "Pull yourself together, Kristin," she muttered. "You finally got what you wanted, so stop blubbering like a baby." _If only it were that easy,_ her heart answered back.

A sigh left her lips as she turned on the tap to splash some cool water on her face. She looked in the mirror again. It didn't change anything that she could notice. Suddenly, she heard a low rumble. It took her a few minutes to realize it was her own stomach. Of course, she hadn't eaten anything since this morning, and since she was supposed to stay in bed, it looked like it was going to have to be room service yet again.

She gave a shrug. It was better than nothing, at least. She ran a brush through her hair and then brushed her teeth. Then she made her way back towards the bedside table and picked up the room service menu, trying to decide what to order when she heard a knock at the door that made her jump slightly. She raised an eyebrow, decided it was probably one of two people: either Kimberly or Nathan, but she assumed it was the latter.

She sighed as she put on her robe and made her way to the door. She had to face him sometime, and she felt rather remorseful about the way she'd treated him before. It wasn't his fault she felt like her world had suddenly unraveled again. She opened the door, ready to apologize to him, only it wasn't him after all. "Mr. O'Neill…what a surprise."

The younger man blushed slightly. "I hope I'm not bothering you. I had spoken with the captain earlier, and he had said you were resting, but-"

She waved a hand. "It's quite all right. You don't need to explain, and no, you are not bothering me. Come in, please." She took a seat on the sofa and motioned to the armchair next to it. "Have a seat, please."

Tim obliged and offered her a smile. "You look like you're feeling better."

"You think so?" she said with a slight laugh. "I looked in the mirror before and thought I looked awful."

"Well, I wasn't really referring to that. I mean, you look fine. What I meant was…" He let out a sigh. "I meant you're up and about."

She gave a nod as she lowered her gaze. "I suppose the captain told you about Sylvia then?"

"Um, yes. That's good news, isn't it? I mean, the fact she's where she needs to be means you can get back to normal."

"It should be good news, yes," she replied quietly. "Only…"

"What is it?" he pressed after a few minutes.

"I…I'm terribly sorry. I know you came here to visit with me, but I'm afraid I'm not very good company right now. Things are…difficult, and I can't really pretend otherwise." She could feel her eyes filling with tears. "Perhaps you could take a rain check?" She was sure he could hear her voice shaking, so she immediately stood and pretended she had a cough. "Excuse me," she muttered as she headed into the bathroom.

She waited for the departing footsteps and the closing of the door as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. But when she heard nothing, she moved to stand in the doorway, only to see Tim still seated. "Mr. O'Neill?"

He gave her a sheepish look. "I…I'm sorry. I just didn't feel comfortable walking out on you. I…I can see you're upset."

She nodded. "I'm not the woman you were used to before," she said sadly. "It must be quite a shock."

"Not really," he said with a shrug. "We all have low points in our lives. You'll bounce back. You're resilient."

"Indeed," she said, trying to fake a smile. "But really, I…I'm fine. You don't need to-"

"I think it's okay to ask for help if you need it, you know?"

"What?"

"I mean, if you'd like to talk, I'll listen. It…it might do you some good."

She let out a sigh. "Oh, I don't… Do you really want to listen to me?"

"Why not? You've listened to me before. I think it's only fair I return the favor," Tim told her. He motioned to the sofa. "Have a seat."

She hesitated for a few moments before relenting and sitting back down. She took a few deep breaths. "Really, I think it sounds rather silly. I shouldn't be complaining. I've finally got what I wanted: to be rid of Sylvia for good. Only I never expected her to just…vanish. As strange as it sounds, I've formed a bond with her, a bond I guess I wasn't ready to break so quickly. And now I just feel…sad about it all. I feel like everything I've believed in has suddenly been torn apart…again. And it's not as easy to console myself in the face of it all."

"I beg to differ with you, Doctor, but I don't think you're beliefs are being torn apart. Do you remember the talk we had a few months back when we found the alien space craft?" Before she could answer, he continued, "Well, I do, and I thought the same thing. And do you remember what you told me?"

"That everything you believed in was still intact. That you believed in strong morality, friends, and family," she replied quietly. "And that nothing else could invalidate those beliefs."

"Exactly."

"Perhaps my beliefs have changed in light of everything, though. I've changed. I'm not the same person I was before all this happened."

"You say it like it's a negative thing," Tim replied. "Do you know that it was because of what you said that I even tried for that expedition in the first place? After what we found…I was changed too, but I saw it as a good thing. I was changed for the better."

"And I'm glad to hear it. I'm glad you listened to me, but I fail to see the comparison exactly."

Tim sighed. "Have you had a chance to read that book I gave you yet?"

Kristin shook her head. "I haven't had a chance."

Tim got up and made his way towards the box of gifts that was still sitting on the table in the middle of the room. He reached in, fished out the book, and brought it over to her. "There's one story in particular I'd like you to look at, if you would." He opened the page and handed it to her.

Kristin took it from him and began reading. The story was about a woman who had lost her husband when she was in her mid-thirties; she had two small children, and she had no one to help her. She had little money, and she struggled to keep food on the table. The woman wrote about how she'd cry most nights because she wasn't sure she could keep going on. But as the woman grew older, she realized something: that although that had been a difficult time in her life, she realized it had also been the happiest time in her life as well. She wrote about all the blessings she had and that she was lucky to be able to have the time she had with her children.

When she finished reading, she looked at him. "So I suppose you're trying to tell me I need to realize that things aren't so bad after all?"

"Not exactly," he replied. "But maybe you should look around and realize you are still blessed and that everything you believed in is still right there for you. As a doctor, you've lost patients before, haven't you?"

"It's not something I like to talk about, but yes… It's a sad fact of life."

"But you've had to console families, haven't you? And what is it you told them?"

"That they're still with them in spirit," she replied.

"And Sylvia is still with you," Tim told her. "Maybe not the way you'd want, but she's still in your memories, in your heart."

She gave a nod. "Logically, I know all this. It just came as a bit of a shock."

"I don't think you need to justify how you're feeling to anyone. But I also think you should let us help you deal with those feelings too."

"Are you sure you're as young as you say?" she finally asked. "When did you become so wise?"

He smiled. "I think it's from having people like you around."

She blushed.

"Do you remember what else we talked about that day?" he asked after a moment.

She nodded. "About God. And I remember what my answer was. I'd like to change that now. After this, I definitely believe in something greater than ourselves. Whether it be God or the universe…there is something out there."

"I'm glad to hear you say that," he said. "Because I think you can use that now."

"How so?"

"You've put your faith in something else for the past couple weeks to take care of you, right?"

"Not always by choice, but…yes."

He moved to sit next to her. "Then you should keep doing that. You're going to be taken care of. I think it's time you stop resisting."

She thought for several minutes. "I…I suppose you're right. I suppose I'm still afraid, after everything. I need to face my fear."

"But it's okay to ask for help if you need."

She wrapped her arms around him. "I really don't know how to thank you."

"There's no need," he told her, returning the hug. "I'm just glad we had this talk."

"I am too," she replied. She broke the hug and glanced towards the adjoining door. "Uh, did the captain happen to say where he was going?"

"I think he's in his room waiting for you. He wanted to be there in case you needed, I think."

"The universe is always taking care of me," she said thoughtfully.

"I suppose I should go and let you keep resting. Good luck, Doctor."

"Thank you, Tim," she said, giving him one more hug. "Have a good night."


	61. Lookin' Back, It's Just A Steppin' Stone

Alone in his room, Nathan sat in front of the television, though he wasn't really watching it. His talk with O'Neill had helped, but he couldn't help but worry about Kristin. He thought he heard voices coming from her room just a short time ago, and he had to restrain himself not to throw open the door and rush to the other side to see if she was all right.

But on that same note, he did his best to remember what Tim had said about waiting for Kristin to come to him. Logically, he knew that he was right, but it certainly wasn't easy. He tried to force his attention back to the old _James Bond_ film on the screen, even if it were just a diversion to the situation at hand.

Five minutes passed before he found himself sighing again. Perhaps he could go for a walk? But what happened if he left and Kristin needed him? Or was Tim right in the fact she didn't need him anymore…at least not as much as she did before? He stood and began pacing, unable to relax. He glanced at the clock. Well, that was something to look forward to, he decided. Lucas should hopefully be back soon, and then he'd have someone to talk to. And he really did miss…

A gentle tapping pulled him out of his thoughts. He shook his head, deciding it must be the television. "Nathan, you're losing it. You need to realize she's fine and stop worrying so much." He didn't sound very convincing, however. But then, he heard the same tapping again, a bit louder this time. It finally dawned on him that it was the door and nearly bolted to answer it, unable to hold back his eagerness. He took a deep breath in an effort to relax a bit before opening the door, though. He certainly didn't want to frighten her.

When he opened the door, he noticed her back was turned. She must have decided he wasn't there. "Kristin?" He made sure his voice was calm and gentle, and he watched her stop dead in her tracks. He noticed a slight tremor in her shoulders, though she tried to fight it. "Is everything all right?" He remained in the doorway, waiting for her to invite him in so as not to invade her private space.

She finally turned to him, wearing what he could easily tell was a forced smile. "Everything…everything's fine," she told him, her voice trembling slightly. "It…it's better than it was, at least." She sucked in a shaky breath and took a few steps towards him. "I got a little sleep."

"I'm glad to hear it," he replied. He could tell how nervous she was, the way she kept lowering her gaze to the floor, the way she was wringing her hands together. "You sure you're all right?"

She gave a quick nod and forced another smile. "Of course. I was just wondering if you were doing anything important at the moment." Her voice was quiet, almost a whisper.

He laughed slightly. "Not at all. I was just watching an old movie. Care to watch it with me?"

This time, a small but genuine smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "Actually, I was hoping we could talk. Is it all right if I come in…please?"

"Of course." He smiled back at her, hoping to ease her mind, but the poor thing still looked like a deer caught in headlights. He attributed to whatever was on her mind and tried not to make it obvious that he noticed; he turned to head back into his room, trying to remain casual, as she followed behind him. "Have a seat, and I'll just turn this off."

He noticed her hesitate slightly out of the corner of his eye as she looked around the room, almost as if she was trying to decide where to sit. She then quickly made her way to the sofa, leaning against the decorative throw pillow that rest against the sofa's arm. Her fingers gently toyed with the fringe gathered at the pillow's corners.

Nathan then moved to sit next to her. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well…I…" She then took several shaky breaths, as she hugged the pillow to her chest. "I wanted to say…"

He could see she was struggling, so he placed a hand on her shoulder, only to find she was shaking terribly. She shut her eyes, and her fingers continued to play with the pillow fringe. "Kris? What's wrong? Why are you so nervous?"

She gave a shrug. "I…I thought…" She managed to wrap the fringe around her fingers so tightly, he was sure it was cutting off her circulation.

He sighed and gently removed the pillow from her arms, and she finally looked at him, her eyes wide and full of questions. "Before you do anymore unnecessary harm to the pillow…or yourself," he explained, only she didn't laugh or smile like he hoped. "What's got you so worked up all of a sudden?"

She shook her head. "Why are you being so nice to me?" Her voice cracked slightly.

Nathan's brows knitted together in confusion. "You're expecting something different?"

She lowered her gaze to the floor again and gave a nod. "Aren't you angry with me?"

"Angry with you? Kristin, why in the world would I be angry with you?"

A ragged breath passed her lips before she spoke once again, her hands wringing together once again. "I certainly wasn't very kind to you before. The way I spoke to you…" She gave a shake of her head. "I'd be angry if I were you."

"So that's what this is all about…why you're acting like this? Because you think I should yell at you?"

"You've yelled at me for less important things. If you thought I deserved it then, surely I deserve it now."

Nathan let out a sigh and gently took her hand in his. "Kristin, I'm not going to yell at you, so you can relax."

"But I was terribly rude. I'm sure you couldn't have been pleased with me. You have to be angry with me." She finally raised her dark eyes to meet his. "I am truly sorry, and I wasn't being fair to you. I think-"

He put both hands on her shoulders. "Just stop for a minute. Why do I _have_ to be angry with you?"

"I…I don't know exactly," she said with a shrug.

"Okay. Well, the truth is, no, I wasn't particularly pleased with you forcing me out, but I also knew you were dealing with about a thousand different emotions, and I knew it was those emotions talking, not you. Not only that, you've already been forgiven, so you don't need to worry. So just relax. It's just you and me."

"Maybe that's what's bothering me," she replied with a sigh. "Through this whole ordeal, you stayed by my side; you never gave up on me."

"I promised you I wouldn't."

"But how did I repay you?" She shook her head. "I feel rather guilty about it all." She gently removed his hands from her shoulders then and leaned against the arm of the sofa again.

Nathan watched her for several long moments. It took him a little while, but something O'Neill had said dawned on him. And he didn't really see it until now. He wondered if she realized it.

"I don't like it when you don't say anything," she finally said, eyes still focused on the floor.

He smiled and moved closer to her, so he could put an arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry," he replied. "I was just making an observation."

Her brow furrowed as she finally raised his eyes to meet his. "Are you going to tell me about it?" she asked after a pause.

"There's a reason you told me to leave you alone."

"Yes, because I was feeling lost without Sylvia. I couldn't deal with anything…or anyone else at the time."

"Fine, that's part of it, but there's something else. How do you feel?"

A brow rose. "What?"

"How do you feel now that you don't have Sylvia with you?" he said again. "And before you answer, I understand you feel a bit lost without her, but that's not what I mean. I mean, what _else_ are you feeling?"

She thought for several minutes before replying. "I feel…different. I'm not sure how to describe it. I just feel…"

"More like your old self," Nathan said.

She nodded. "I suppose." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, I'm not exactly the same as I was before, but-"

"You needed some time to yourself to deal with your problem before you could open up to anyone else," Nathan pointed out. "You didn't throw me out because you were angry. You just needed to understand it for yourself before anything."

"That's…exactly it," she said, giving him a look. "How...?"

He put up his hands. "I can't take all the credit. Someone pointed it out earlier, only I didn't put two and two together until just now."

"O'Neill?" she guessed. She let out a sigh. "He did tell me he spoke to you before he came to see me."

"He did seem eager to see you," Nathan commented.

"I feel bad for isolating myself from everyone. And I have to say, he really gave me some very unexpected yet wise insight to everything. We really don't give him enough credit. Perhaps I should mention it to Bill."

Nathan raised an eyebrow. "What are you going to do, get him a raise?"

"Maybe," she said with a shrug. "Don't you think he deserves it?"

"I didn't say that. If I had it my way, we'd all be getting a raise, but just the other day, you were sure you weren't even going to be setting foot back on the _seaQuest_."

"Well, it's obvious that's not the case anymore. Oh, of course, there's the little matter of getting the letter, but that should be a walk in the park, shouldn't it?"

Nathan suddenly saw something different in her eyes. It was something he hadn't seen in quite a while, but he noticed it was vaguely familiar. He suddenly realized it was some of her old spark, the enthusiasm she'd get over the tiniest things, like the reef dive that happened weeks earlier. The way her eyes smiled, sparkling with delight, was something he worried he'd never see again.

"And then…" Her voice raised slightly in pitch as her excitement became evident. "We can finally go home. Isn't that a wonderful word?"

He saw a wide, genuine smile grace her face. "It is," he agreed. He held up a finger in warning. "But you do realize _you_ will not be setting foot in the labs until Levin clears you?"

She waved a hand. "Oh, I don't care about that; I'll just be glad to be where I belong. Not that this little getaway hasn't been exciting, but I miss the boat. I even miss the food."

Nathan laughed. "I did promise we'd have something home cooked as soon as you were feeling better."

"I know, and I do appreciate that. I'm just…eager now."

He pulled her closer to him. "I'm glad to see this side of you. I've missed it."

She laid her head on her chest and gave a nod. "Me, too."

"So no more worrying that I should be angry with you?"

"I promise. Besides, I'd say we're even now." She patted his chest gently. "It's not the first time one of us has snipped at the other."

"And I'm sure it won't be the last," he said with a laugh. He then heard an odd sound. "Was that…"

"Sorry," she muttered, her cheeks turning pink. "I was about to get something to eat when Tim showed up. And then I realized I couldn't relax until I spoke with you. But apparently, my stomach does not like to be ignored."

Nathan stood and walked over to the bedside table to grab the menu. "I don't blame it. I'm sorry I didn't realize you hadn't eaten sooner."

She gave a shrug. "Don't worry. I was having trouble deciding what to get anyway. I suppose you've eaten already."

He nodded. "But I never got dessert."

"Now there's an idea." She flipped the menu over to the back where all the desserts were listed.

"What…dessert for dinner?"

"Why not? May as well enjoy it while we can, right?"

"Indeed," he agreed.

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"I couldn't eat another bite," Kristin replied, finally dropping her fork down on the plate, which still held half a piece of a double fudge brownie topped with chocolate chip ice cream and smothered in chocolate syrup and whipped cream.

"You're sure?" Nathan asked. "There's still half a piece of grasshopper cheesecake here, and no one's touched the crème brulee or the French silk pie."

"I know, but I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach." She motioned towards the untouched desserts. "And so were yours apparently. We can save them for later. Or maybe as a surprise for Lucas." Her eyes snapped to the door. "Speaking of Lucas, where is he? Shouldn't they be back by now?"

Nathan glanced towards the clock. "I'm sure he's fine. You don't need to worry. He's with Ben and the others."

"I think when Ben's name is mentioned, that's always cause for worry," she quipped, laughing slightly. But then she became serious. "I wasn't worried exactly. I was just curious. Well, why don't we wrap these up and put them in the fridge for whoever wants them?"

Nathan gave her a mock salute. "Aye, Doctor."

She patted his arm playfully as they put the desserts away.

"Well, now, how about that movie?" Nathan suggested.

But she shook her head. "I have something a bit different in mind. Do you remember what we spoke about earlier?"

"You'll have to narrow it down; we spoke about a lot of things earlier."

She smiled. "Speaking to Lucas' parents. Since Lucas isn't back yet and I'm feeling better, it seems like the perfect time."

Nathan let out a sigh. "I did try to talk to Lawrence earlier, and it seems he's out of the country at the moment at some conference concerning the World Power Plant project."

Kristin clicked her tongue. "How convenient. Well, what about his mother?"

"I haven't tried her yet, but are you sure you're up to it?"

"Nathan, of course I am." She sighed. "Now that I'm feeling more like myself, it's time for me to do quite a few of the things I've been meaning to. Life is too short to put it off, and I've been meaning to speak to them for a long time. Nathan, I love Lucas, and I know you do too. And I know he loves us, but he loves his own parents as well; he deserves their attention, too, wouldn't you say?"

"I agree with you completely, but are you sure-"

At that moment, the door opened, and both adults turned to see Lucas.

"Doc!" he gushed, moving to wrap her in his arms. "I'm glad to see you feeling better."

"And I'm glad to see you too, dear. How was the movie?"

He broke the hug and gave a shrug. "It was okay, but you know, those slasher films always end the same way lately: always setting it up for a sequel. Plus, it was pretty obvious who the killer was. I guessed in the first ten minutes, and it turns out I was right. Then after the movie, we went out for pizza and then we went bowling."

"It sounds like you had a lot of fun," Nathan told him.

Lucas nodded. "Yeah, we did." He held up his hands. "And don't worry; I'm not staying. I don't want to interrupt your alone time. I was just going to get a few things and then I'm going back to Ben's room."

"Lucas, you're not interrupting anything," Kristin told him. "And you don't need to leave, unless you want to. Besides, there's a surprise waiting for you in the refrigerator."

Lucas' interest was piqued. "A surprise?"

"I'm sure you haven't had dessert yet," she said with a wink. "Besides, I'm rather tired, and I think it's time I turn in for the night."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Besides, I think it's clear you two need to have some time without me. I'll see you both in the morning." She gave Lucas a kiss on the cheek. "Don't stay up too late."

"I won't, Doc."

Nathan put a hand on her shoulder. "I'll walk you back to your room, hm?"

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"That was very sweet what you did, you know," Nathan told her once he'd closed the adjoining door behind him.

She gave a shrug. "You know he needs some bonding time with you. And I don't want him to think he has to keep running off to Ben's room every time he catches us alone together. It doesn't mean we don't want him around."

"I'll tell him that."

"And while you're spending time with him, _I'll_ call Cynthia Holt. You have the number?"

Nathan fished in his pocket and handed it to her. "But I thought we were going to do it together?"

"You're welcome to call her when you get a free moment, but I had wanted to speak to her one on one anyway. Not only that, I think it's best Lucas doesn't know about this. I think his parents just need a bit of a reality check. After that, I really am going to go back to bed. I'm still tired."

"Are you going to be all right? I mean…"

Kristin knew exactly what he was getting at. "I appreciate the thought, but I think I can sleep alone tonight. I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but-"

"You don't need me anymore," Nathan replied.

She smiled. "I wasn't going to say it quite like that. And that's not true. I just…"

"I understand," he replied. "Really. And I'm glad to see you in better spirits."

She smiled and moved to kiss his cheek. "Goodnight, Nathan."

"See you in the morning. Sweet dreams, Kristin."

"You, too."

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As soon as Nathan left, she moved straight to the vid-phone and dialed Cynthia Holt's number. Kristin had spoken with Lucas' father a few times, but she'd never had the opportunity to speak with his mother. And although Lucas seemed to love his mother, he always said that she was a difficult person to speak to. She sighed and hoped the conversation would go well. Not only that, Lucas had said she was rarely home, always off on some trip with a new boyfriend, he had said.

But on the fifth ring, Kristin was surprised to see a blonde woman with the same sparkling blue eyes as Lucas. "Hello?" she said, her confusion apparent. "Do I know you?"

"Ms. Holt?" Kristin said.

"Yes. How can I help you?"

"Ms. Holt, I'm Dr. Kristin Westphalen. I work on the _seaQuest_ with your son. I'm not sure if he ever mentioned me, but-"

The woman on the screen held up a halting hand. "He's mentioned," she said. "And he spoke very highly of you. Why are you calling me, though?" A hand suddenly rose to her mouth. "Is…is something wrong with Lucas?"

Kristin was actually pleased the thought actually occurred to her to think about Lucas' well-being. She shook her head. "No, I assure you, everything's fine, physically anyway."

"Oh, good. Then why are you calling me exactly?"

Kristin took a deep breath. "Ms. Holt, this might seem a little awkward, but just when was the last time you spoke with Lucas?"

"Um, it's been a few months, but we've both been busy."

"I understand that, but…don't you miss him?"

She shrugged. "Of course I do. He's my son, but he's nearly eighteen years old. He doesn't want to be fawned over by his mother, and I figured he needed his space."

Kristin raised an eyebrow. "You're sure about that?"

"Excuse me?"

"Lucas might be almost eighteen, but he's still a boy. He craves love and affection just like anyone else."

"I never said he didn't."

Suddenly an obvious male voice could be heard in the background. "Are you coming back to bed, honey? I'm getting cold."

Cynthia Holt's cheeks pinked. "In a minute, darling. I'm on the phone," she called. She then turned back to Kristin. "Can you please cut to the chase? I'm obviously a little preoccupied."

"I can see that," Kristin replied, "and I am sorry for throwing a bit of a wrench into your _busy_ schedule, but this is my point: your son misses you, and he misses his father."

"I have no control over what Lawrence does with him anymore. He's always been married to his work, if you know what I mean."

Kristin sighed. "Captain Bridger and I have taken an active role in your son's life, and I care about him like he was my own. We both do, and-"

"Just what are you getting at, Doctor?"

"No matter how much we love your son and how much he loves us, we're not his mother and father. He needs and wants to spend more time with you. If you haven't spoken to him in months, you obviously can't know about any of his needs or desires, what's been going on in his life… It's as if you don't even know your own son."

"Very well. It's obvious I wouldn't win any mother-of-the-year awards; you're not telling me anything I don't know, but have you ever once asked Lucas how his childhood was? He was happy. We all were."

"I'm not negating that at all, and for your information, yes, Lucas does mention the happy times occasionally. But just because you and your husband are divorced and Lucas is nearly grown doesn't mean those happy times need to end. Do you love your son, Ms. Holt?"

"Although I have an odd way of showing it, of course I do. I love him with all my heart."

Kristin noticed the crack in the other woman's voice and nearly became choked up herself. "I don't doubt that," she replied. "But I can't guarantee Lucas doesn't."

"How do I fix that?" Ms. Holt asked, her voice sounding small.

"The holidays are coming up. I'm sure Lucas would love to be invited," Kristin told her.

"I don't know how much time he's allowed off," she said with a shake of her head.

"Civilians are allowed a bit more leeway on that than the military personnel, but for the holidays, he'll get at least a week, probably longer if he'd like. It's rather late here, but I know for a fact he would love nothing more than to see you, to hear your voice."

After several minutes, Ms. Holt wiped the stray tears from her cheeks. "I'll start making arrangements right away."

Kristin smiled. "I'm glad to hear it. And I promise, I won't say a word to him. I'd also like to keep this little conversation a secret from him. I'm sure he wouldn't like to hear that his mother needed to be coerced into it."

"Not coerced," she corrected. "Just reminded that she needs to be a better mother. I really should thank you."

"Just follow through on your promise, and that will be thanks enough."

She nodded. "Very well. Thank you for your call, Doctor."

"You're quite welcome."

Kristin then cut the link and let out a satisfied sigh. "Well, now that that's taken care of…" she muttered to herself as she lay down on the bed, "you can relax, hm?"

She took off the locket Nathan had given her and opened it, staring at Sylvia's picture for a few moments. "I still have so many questions for you. Is there any way I'll get to speak to you again?" She sighed and closed the locket, setting it on the bedside table and turning out the lamp. "Goodnight, Sylvia." And for the first time in quite a while, Kristin fell into a peaceful, uninterrupted sleep.


	62. We Won't Be Sad

**December 13, 2019**

The early morning light caused Kristin to stir. She opened her eyes briefly, decided it was too early, and rolled over to her other side when she noticed a figure out of the corner of her eye. She decided it had to be a trick of the dim light; to prove it to herself, she blinked once…then twice, only the figure still remained. Because she was still half asleep, she couldn't quite make out who it was, but it only stood to reason it was Nathan…right? Even though his face was hidden in the shadows, that was the only logical explanation, she decided.

She pushed herself up, leaning her back against the headboard. "How long have you been watching me, Nathan? Shouldn't you be asleep? The sun hasn't even risen yet."

He shook his head and stepped forward. "I'm sorry, but you're mistaken about my identity, my dear."

A hand rose to her mouth as she let out a soft cry upon seeing Frank Knox. She felt her heart begin to pound against her rib cage and struggled to catch her breath. "Leave…leave me alone, please," she managed to choke out.

Knox, however, held up his hands. "I don't blame you for being afraid, but I promise, I am not here to hurt you. Please, calm down. I'm just here to talk."

Kristin willed the beating of her heart to slow to a more normal level as she sucked in several deep, calming breaths. When she felt her panic start to dissipate, she eyed Knox warily. "How…" She cleared her throat. "How long have you been here?"

He gave a shrug. "I really don't have the need to concern myself with time in my current state; I'm sure you can understand why. But I've been here for a little while. I didn't want to wake you. Sylvia sent me."

"Sylvia?" Kristin's brow furrowed. "Why couldn't she come herself?"

Knox motioned to the chair near Kristin's bed, asking permission to sit. Upon seeing her nod, he obliged and said, "If she pulled you into our world, that would be dangerous for you, since you're still on the mend. And since she just arrived in the current realm, she has been advised not to leave. Her fate has clearly been decided; she'll be crossing over soon, so it would be in her best interest not to go wandering about."

"But then why-"

Knox put up a hand. "I know what you're going to ask. You want to know how I can be here instead?"

She nodded.

"Even though Sylvia can't physically be with you right now, she's still present. She hears you, knows you have several concerns weighing heavily on your mind. She wants to at least try to ease those concerns for you. She still cares for you, worries about you." He paused for a minute. "As for me, my fate hasn't been decided yet, and as you can guess, it might not be as happy an ending for me. But I'd like to show you and those who will be passing judgment that I'm willing to atone for what I've done. So I'm here on Sylvia's behalf to help answer any questions you have. Go ahead and ask away."

Kristin let out a sigh. As much as she wanted to believe Frank Knox was no longer evil, it was rather difficult for her brain to make the same connection. In her mind, he was still someone to be feared, someone she needed to get away from. And there was a part of her that wondered if this was some sort of trap, one last scare from the bad guy. Isn't that how all horror movies ended? She eyed him carefully as a brow rose. Could she really put her trust in someone who tortured Sylvia and her relentlessly?

"You're having trouble?" he finally asked. "I can't help but notice how quiet you are."

She looked down at her hands. "Well, you can't blame me for being…concerned."

"What will convince you otherwise?"

"I'm not really sure," she said with a shrug. "Why couldn't she send Jack?"

"Jack had other matters to attend. I was really her only choice, but I can't blame you for having difficulty trusting me." He then stood. "I really would rather not cause you any more pain, so I'll just leave you be then. Thank you for your time."

Kristin watched as the figure before her began to disappear. She could easily see through him. A moment passed before she gave a shake of her head, coming to her senses and realizing he was her only chance of finding out any answers. "Wait!" she cried, watching as the nearly invisible Knox suddenly came into plain view once again. "I…I'm sorry. Please, stay." She motioned to the chair again.

"I don't blame you for having doubts," he told her as he sat once again. "I'd have them if I were you, too."

Kristin was quiet for a few minutes as she thought about what she wanted to ask first. She had about a million questions, but she was sure there were going to be quite a few he couldn't possibly know the answer to. After a moment, she'd thought of something he could answer. "Why did you do it? Why did you murder Sylvia Mayfield?"

"I honestly don't have an answer for that. If you're asking me if I knew from the moment I'd met her that I would end up taking her life, no, I never dreamed I would. But after the war broke out and we got involved with Richard Mayfield and his funding, it seemed like it was one lie after the other to portray the image that our hands were clean when they were far from it. And then it came to the point where Richard's marriage was crumbling, and he could no longer control Sylvia or what she did. And it seemed she knew too much."

"But she promised you she wouldn't tell a soul. Did…did she really need to die over the fact that she knew about a few lies here and there? It was apparent the United States was going to get involved in the war anyway, whether it had to do with anything you did or not. It was inevitable. Honestly, what was going through your head that night? And did you really need to…" She lowered her voice. "…rape her?" She was on the verge of tears as she gave a shake of her head. "She suffered at your hands, died a horrible, ghastly death. How…how could you? What gave you the right to do that to another human being?"

Although Kristin was becoming increasingly agitated, the emotions of Sylvia's murder washing over her again, Knox was surprisingly calm. "No words can possibly express how deeply sorry I am for what I did. I'm not sure I can explain why I did the things I've done, not in a way you'll understand anyway. You're absolutely correct; I had no right to take her life. I had no right to violate her in that way. I was…blinded. I know it sounds like an excuse, but I was just so hell bent on keeping my reputation squeaky clean, I would do anything to protect it. I really have no other way to describe what was going through my mind. I was just blinded."

Kristin wrapped her arms around herself and took several deep breaths, once again in an attempt to calm down. She wiped the stray tears off her cheeks. "But what about the rape? What in the world did that have to do with keeping your reputation clean?"

Knox shook his head. "It had nothing to do with that. Call that animal desires, I suppose. In an effort to keep my reputation from being tainted, I took an interest in Sylvia…something you might describe as unhealthy. I was obsessed, literally. I thought about her day and night. I had…fantasies. I…well, again, I was blinded." He paused. "No one in my life, save for the admiral, knew about my true nature. My wife, my children…no one knew. And after the bombing and the war…well, I didn't want anyone to find out. This was a secret I vowed I'd take to the grave."

"But after your death?"

"Unfinished business, I suppose. Even after Sylvia's death, I was still obsessed with her. I wanted to be sure no one ever found out what I'd done. I suppose torturing her in the afterlife was my way of insuring that, even if it might not make sense to outsiders."

Kristin gave a quiet nod. Twisted as it all sounded, it did make some sense. She couldn't help but notice how Knox's situation resembled Captain Wideman. No, he didn't murder Lillian, but he was no better, keeping her hostage due to his love for her. And he was blinded, just as Knox until Lillian forgave him. The only difference was that he was allowed to cross over with her and Robert. Knox apparently wouldn't get that same privilege, but then again, she felt he deserved to be punished. And so did he, it seemed.

"I want you to know I will gladly accept any punishment bestowed on me," Knox said quietly. "Not only that, I will be glad when that letter is revealed."

Kristin raised an eyebrow. "Why is that?"

"Surely, I have living relatives. I will be glad when they all know the monster I truly was. It's about time they all knew."

"I see…" She took a breath. "Well, I'm glad to see you've finally seen the error of your ways."

"It's only a shame I couldn't have done it sooner," he said with a shake of his head. His brow then furrowed. "Not that I don't want to answer your questions, you do understand you can ask me more than just things about me, don't you?"

She nodded. "I just had to hear some of these answers for myself." She paused for a brief moment to think. "I suppose there's not much else I need to know except for one thing. Is Sylvia happy?"

He nodded. "Happier than she's been in a long time, I assure you. She's with your past lives where she needs to be for the time being."

"And Jack?"

"He's waiting for Sylvia in the higher realm. He's happy that she's no longer in pain, but everyone is eager to cross over. They're not meant to stay there forever. As you know, they're waiting for you."

Kristin nodded. "And I plan to follow through as soon as I can. Believe you me, I'm eager to get on with my life."

"And Sylvia wants that for you as well," Knox assured her. "She wants you to know she never meant for all of this to happen the way it did."

"I believe she mentioned," Kristin replied. "There's really no sense in dwelling on it now. It didn't kill me…surprisingly." She took a deep breath. "Will I see her again?"

Knox was silent for several minutes. "I really can't say. Only time will tell, but if you didn't see her, would that be a terrible thing?"

She shrugged. "I suppose not. I just was hoping to see her one last time before we part ways, so to speak."

"Well, again, only time will tell. Is there anything else you wanted to ask?"

She thought briefly. "Not at the moment, no."

"And it was rather painless, wasn't it?"

"For the most part, yes," she replied with a slight laugh.

"I truly am sorry for any pain I've caused you, Kristin."

"It's…it's all right," she replied quietly.

Knox shook his head. "No, it isn't, but you've always been very forgiving." He stood once again. "Well, if you're finished, then I really must go. Enjoy the rest of your life, Kristin. You deserve it."

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Sometime after Knox departed, Kristin had fallen back to sleep. Unfortunately, the ringing of the vid-phone quickly ended her peaceful slumber. As she sat up to glance at the clock, she noticed she'd only been asleep for about half an hour. "Ugh, naturally," she grumbled as she pushed herself out of bed and went to answer it. "Hello," she said, doing her best not to sound irritated. And when she saw the woman's face on the other end, she was glad she kept herself in check. "Dr. McEnery, what a surprise."

"Good morning," Kimberly greeted. "I know, and I'm sorry for calling so early. Were you asleep?"

"No," Kristin lied. If she'd have called just a little while before, it would have been true, and she didn't want to make Kimberly feel guilty.

Kimberly gave her a smile. "I'm glad I didn't wake you then. I actually wanted to say I'm sorry for not stopping by your room last night like I'd promised."

Kristin waved a hand. "Oh, I'd forgotten all about that."

"Well, I didn't. I feel it's very important we talk, and I'd like to do so now, if that's all right?"

Kristin glanced toward the adjoining door for a moment. It was still early, and the boys were probably still asleep, she decided. She then turned back to Kimberly and gave her a nod. "Of course."

"See you soon," Kimberly said before the screen went blank.

Kristin let out a sigh, looking longingly at the warm bed. "Well, perhaps I'll get a nap in later." She then headed to the bathroom to comb her hair and brush her teeth so that she'd look somewhat presentable for Kimberly's visit. She had the niggling feeling, however, that she'd never get that nap after all.

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A knock at the door sounded just as Kristin finished in the bathroom. She quickly moved to answer it.

"My, you're looking much better than the last time I saw you," Kimberly gushed as Kristin stepped aside to allow her to pass. "I see you've done what I asked."

Kristin nodded. "I'm very eager to go home," she said. "So I've been very good."

"I'm glad to hear it, and if you're feeling up to it, I'd say you could even go out and about today, if you'd like…as long as you take it easy."

"Oh, that sounds like a wonderful idea. I admit, I'm getting a bit of cabin fever." She put up a hand. "But I promise if I go out, I don't plan on running any marathons."

Kimberly laughed. "Well, that's good to hear."

"Well, have a seat," Kristin said, motioning towards the sofa.

Kimberly gave a nod and did so as Kristin sat down beside her.

"Well, I promise I won't keep you too long, but there's something I wanted to share with you, something I feel that you should know before I go back to Cologne. As I mentioned, I've had my own experience with past life regression. My teenage years were very difficult for me. Around the time I hit puberty, I also experienced several changes…and more than the average girl around that time in her life. I started having these dreams. Well, at the time, I thought they were dreams. I found out later they were visions. They were always of the same woman."

She opened up her bag and took out a file folder. She then opened it and produced a photograph, handing it to Kristin.

Kristin instantly recognized the woman in the photograph. She looked up, giving Kimberly a questioning stare.

"I assume you know who that is."

Kristin nodded. "Yes, it's Regina Carrington. She was Sylvia's lawyer…" She took a breath. "This…this is the woman you saw?"

"Yes," Kimberly replied. "How much _do_ you know about her?"

Kristin gave a shrug. "I know that Sylvia trusted her, that she considered her a friend."

"That sounds about right," Kimberly replied. "At least from Sylvia's point of view, but what you may not know is that Regina…Reggie…had a dark side. She was consorting with Richard Mayfield, and-"

"Consorting?"

"She and Richard were romantically involved, apparently," the younger woman explained. "Well, it seems the two concocted a plan to murder Sylvia. She was the mastermind behind it, it seems." She shook her head. "I had told my mother about these dreams, these visions. I didn't know why I'd started seeing her; I didn't understand it. Naturally, she and my father thought I was crazy."

"What did you do?"

"What else could I do?" Kimberly said with a shake of her head. "I forgot about them. Or at least I tried. Unfortunately, that only seemed to make it worse, but I never spoke about them again. That is until I started attending college. I took an abnormal psychology class where I learned about hypnotic regression. The professor asked for volunteers, and my hand shot up in the air." Her eyebrows knitted together. "I honestly don't even know why I did it. I never… The thought of being a lab rat never appealed to me, but something was telling me to try it."

"As if the universe was guiding you?" Kristin guessed.

"Exactly. You know what it's like," Kimberly said. "Well, to make a long story as short as I possibly can, I volunteered in the hope I would get rid of the dreams about this woman, only I learned there was no way I could do that since she was my past life."

"What? You mean you-"

She nodded. "I was Regina Carrington in my past." She sighed. "I spent years trying to actually forget about her once I found out what a horrible person she was."

"Well, it's certainly not your fault. It's not as though you were the one who devised a murder plot," Kristin told her in an effort to offer a bit of comfort.

"I know," Kimberly replied with a shrug. "But when you're just nineteen, that's a lot to handle. It wasn't until I was in my mid-twenties that I learned to embrace Reggie. In her younger days, she was nearly a saint, so to speak. It was only after she got involved with Richard Mayfield that she dropped her angelic exterior. Well, I've done everything I could since then to ensure I don't make the same mistakes she did. I certainly hope you're not upset with me for getting as involved with you as I did, but when Joshua told me about you and Sylvia…well, I knew I had to try to make amends."

"I'm not angry with you at all," Kristin replied. "I only wish I'd known sooner…"

"I was afraid to tell you. I didn't know if you were aware of Reggie's split personality, as it were, and I wanted you to be able to trust me. But that's why I do what I do now, to be able to help people like me."

Kristin nodded. "I suppose I can't blame you for that. You've certainly helped me…more than I ever thought you could."

"I'm glad I was here for you."

Kristin was quiet for a moment. "Do you know what happened to her?"

"You mean after the bombing?"

"Yes," Kristin said. "We all know what happened to the others…"

"She died in the bombing," Kimberly said quietly.

"I'm sorry."

Kimberly waved a hand. "I'm not. What I mean is that I think it's clear the universe gave her what she deserved. It's my job to make sure I don't end up like her."

"Well, I'd say you're doing a wonderful job of that already."

The younger woman offered her a smile. "I'm glad to hear you say that. You've really made miraculous progress."

"I owe it all to you, really."

"I just guided you. You had the power within you all along…and you have the power to keep going. I think you know you don't need me any longer."

Kristin's brow furrowed. "You mean you're leaving me?"

"You know I have to get back to Cologne," she said with a nod. "Believe you me, I'd love to stay a bit longer if I could, but you'll be back where you belong before you know it." She pulled her into a hug. "And I promise I'll keep in touch. My flight leaves this afternoon."

Kristin returned the embrace, knowing full well that Kimberly was right. She really didn't need her anymore either. She was going to be fine.

"Joshua has all my contact information," she said as she broke the hug. "Call me anytime, day or night."

"Thank you, Kimberly."

"Take care, Kristin."

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After Kimberly left the room, Kristin decided she ought to shower and dress before she had any other interruptions. She finished just in time for the knock at the adjoining door. She hurried to open it, sure it was Nathan.

She was correct, only she was surprised to see he wasn't alone.

"Good morning, Doctor," Bill Noyce greeted. "I hope we're not interrupting anything, but Nathan did say you were feeling better. And quite frankly, I had to see it for myself."

She motioned for Nathan and him to enter her room. "Good morning to you as well. And, yes, I'm feeling much better, thank you." She looked at Nathan. "And the doctor has given me her seal of approval, as long as I take it easy."

Nathan put an arm around her shoulders. "Oh, that's wonderful."

"It certainly is," Bill replied. "That means we can follow through with the plan after all."

"The plan?" Kristin questioned.

"The brass is getting rather impatient," Nathan explained.

"And I really can't go cutting the wires again," Bill added. "They bought it the first time, but I'm not sure they'd buy it a second time."

Kristin shook her head. "Cutting wires? Just what are you talking about?"

Bill looked at Nathan. "You mean you didn't tell her?"

"I promise I'll tell you the whole story on the way to the museum."

"The museum?"

"You're feeling up to it, aren't you?" Nathan asked. "You did seem eager, and Bill's lending us his car."

Kristin thought for a brief second. It seemed as good a time as any. "Very well, but as long as we can eat first. I'm starving."

"I think we can allow that," Nathan replied. He then called into the other room, "Lucas, get your computer ready. You've got work to do."


	63. We'll Be Glad

After they'd eaten, Lucas brought up a map of the museum on his laptop. "Now, the desk is located here," he explained, pointing to an area on the map with a pen. "I'm sure it's roped off and most likely guarded by security cameras and alarms. When you're near the desk…" He looked at Nathan. "…you're going to have to call me right away so I can disable things. When that happens, you're going to have a very limited amount of time to do what you need and get the heck out of there. Got it?"

"Wait, slow your roll for just a minute," Nathan told him. "I know we went through this once before, but how long will we have exactly?"

Lucas shrugged. "If you're lucky, at least fifteen minutes."

Kristin raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean _if_ we're lucky?"

"That all depends on if the museum's security staff is paying attention, and if they're really worried that their system goes offline for a bit." He shrugged. "I mean, the chances of someone walking out of the museum with a large wooden desk are slim to none, so they might not try to fix it right away, especially since I'll only be disabling that particular section."

"But if they _do_ notice right away?"

"Depends on how quickly they can repair the system. It could be as little as five minutes."

"Five minutes?" Kristin repeated. "Can't you do something a little more complicated than that?"

"I'm not planting a virus, Doc," Lucas said with a slight grin. "Unless you'd rather I try that?"

Kristin, however, didn't offer a reply. She simply shook her head and exchanged a glance with Nathan. "What if we get caught?"

"You _won't_ get caught," Bill said.

Kristin's brow furrowed. "How can you be sure of that?"

"I'm friends with the curator here in Pearl."

"I appreciate your efforts, but you do realize we're going to Waimea? Forgive me if I don't quite understand what your relationship with the curator here has to do with the curator in Waimea."

"I'm sure I can make up some reason to get in contact with the curator in Waimea. You really shouldn't worry. Besides, this is just a worst-case scenario situation." He shrugged. "It might not even need to happen at all."

"I can see why the doctor's worried, though," Nathan said with a sigh as he looked at Bill. "And your plan is a bit of a long-shot." He put a reassuring arm around Kristin's shoulders. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"

"Of course not," she said with a shake of her head. "We've come this far; I'm not about to stop now. I'd just feel better if we had a _foolproof_ plan." She looked at Lucas. "And surely, anyone who can break into the World Bank undetected should have some ideas, hm?"

"You're not actually suggesting he plant a virus, are you?" Nathan asked.

"Of course not. I was just hoping he might have some ideas." She turned to look at Lucas. "You've got a lot of friends on the Internex, yes?"

"Well, sure," Lucas said with a shrug. "But what is it you want us to do? Band together and set up some sort of distraction?"

"If you must," she said, patting him on the shoulder.

"I never thought I'd see the day when you'd encourage me to do something _illegal_." Lucas placed a hand to her forehead. "Are you sure you're feeling better?"

"Yes," she said with a laugh as she removed his hand. "I suppose I've just learned a trick or two along the way."

"If this ever got back to the brass, we cannot refer to it as illegal," Bill added.

"Civil disobedience then?" Kristin offered.

"A much better term. Just don't think we'll be making a habit of it, got it?" Nathan said to Lucas. "This better be the one and only heist you're involved in."

"Until the next time you need my help," he muttered, flashing Nathan a grin. He then gave him a mock salute. "Yes, sir."

"Time's ticking away, you two." Bill ushered Nathan and Kristin toward the door. "Don't worry about a thing. Lucas and I will handle the distractions. Call us when you arrive."

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"…and he apparently told the brass that one of the crewman left the door open, and a horde of rats chewed through the navigation system's wires," Nathan explained in between laughs.

Kristin broke into giggles herself. "And they believed him?"

"I don't think they had much of a choice." He took his eyes off the road for a second to look at her. "But this is why I told you to get the idea out of your head that he doesn't like you. Bill wouldn't make up a story like that for just anyone."

"No, I'm sure he wouldn't," she agreed with a shake of her head.

Nathan couldn't help but notice how quickly her smile faded, however, as he watched her out of the corner of his eye. She laid her head against the back of the seat and stared out the window. Although she'd made a great many positive changes in the past twenty-four hours, he suddenly worried she might be moving too fast. Why else would she clam up all of a sudden? He shook his head in an effort to shake the idea from his mind. Tim did say he had to let go a bit, and he knew he was right. He needed to stop playing mother hen.

They drove in silence for several minutes, and although Nathan did his best to keep his eyes on the road, he couldn't stop stealing glances at the woman beside him. And much as he tried, he couldn't ignore his worry any longer. "Is everything all right?"

She turned and gave him a weak smile. "Everything's fine. I'm just a little tired. I didn't get to sleep as long as I wanted."

"Why not?"

"I wasn't sure I should say anything, but I received a visitor early this morning. As you might imagine, I was…sort of asking the universe for some answers. Mainly, Sylvia. I still have so many unanswered questions."

"I think we all do," he agreed. "She finally answered you, though?"

"Not exactly, but she sent someone in her place."

"Jack?"

She shook her head. "Apparently, neither of them is allowed. The afterlife is very complex with a slew of rules, so it seems. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear it were run by the UEO," she muttered. "No, my visitor was Frank Knox," she said with a sigh.

"What? Are…are you hurt?" He slammed on the brakes. "Why in the world would you keep that to yourself?" He placed his hands on her shoulders, looking her up and down as if he were searching for bruises. "Kristin?"

She gently removed his hands. "It wasn't like that. He didn't hurt me. He wasn't going to try. Y-yes, I was frightened at first, but he explained that Sylvia sent him. He came to me to answer my questions. It was…well, it was a bit strange at first, but when hasn't it been lately? I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. And he did help ease my mind a bit."

Nathan waved off her apology. "What sort of things did you ask him?"

"The same thing you'd ask him, I think: _why_?" she replied. "Of course, I asked him other things, but that was the first question out of my mouth, after I learned to…trust him." She shook her head. "As you might imagine, it was difficult, after everything."

Nathan gave a nod. "I'm sure it was. What did he say?"

"To make a long story short, he was blinded by anger and hate, much like Captain Wideman, it seems." She let out a sigh. "He did apologize to me, and he says he's eager to atone. He wants the letter revealed. He seems to want this closure for Sylvia as much as we do."

"And do you forgive him?"

She turned to him, an eyebrow raised. "Of course. I think I have to. It wouldn't do me any favors holding a grudge. I need to move on; I certainly hope everyone can tell I'm making an effort."

Nathan took his hand in hers. "In leaps and bounds," he said with a nod. "I just wanted to be sure you weren't…putting on a brave face."

She shook her head. "I don't think I have a reason for that anymore. I also asked him if Sylvia and Jack were happy, and they are, for the most part. Certainly, they'll be happier when all is said and done, but I do feel better about her not being with me anymore. Although, Knox assured me she is still with me, in a different way, I suppose. She's still concerned about me, still wants to be sure I'm protected." She raised a hand to her locket. "And I still have her in my heart."

Nathan gave her a smile. "I'm glad to hear that. So you're not upset about the ring anymore?"

"I do wish we wouldn't have lost it…and do you know in all the times I've seen Sylvia and Jack, I never once thought to ask either of them about it?" She sighed. "I suppose there were more important matters to attend." She gave a shrug. "I would like to think that wherever it is, it's exactly where it belongs. That's all I can do for now."

"Well, maybe it will still turn up again," Nathan replied. "Stranger things have happened."

Kristin laughed slightly. "Indeed."

"Oh, I completely forgot," Nathan said after a pause. "In all the excitement, I never asked you how the chat with Lucas' mother went."

"Oh…well, it went better than I expected actually."

"How did she seem?" Nathan asked as his curiosity piqued.

"Exactly how Lucas describes her. First of all, she's gorgeous; Lucas apparently gets his looks from her. She is a bit self-absorbed, though I don't doubt she loves her son. She just…I think now that Lucas is older, she doesn't know how to handle that. I told her that no matter how old a child is, he still wants his mother's love."

"I'm sure that went over like a lead balloon."

"I expected it to," she said with a nod, "but actually, it didn't. I mean, things were a little tense at first, but she seemed genuinely grateful that I called her. She also assured me she intends to turn over a new leaf."

"But both his parents are very good at making promises and never following through," Nathan reminded her. "We've seen it firsthand with Lawrence."

"I am well aware of that, but I don't think that will happen this time. She's supposed to be inviting him for the holidays. Of course, I told her our little conversation must be kept under wraps. I really don't want Lucas finding out about that. It's a waiting game for you and me, but if Lucas doesn't mention his plans for the holidays soon, I'll be giving her a call again. I will not be letting her get away with pushing him to the side any longer."

"I understand why you'd want to keep your dealings with his mother a secret, but I wish Lucas knew how lucky he is to have you on his side."

"He's lucky to have _both_ of us," Kristin corrected. "He knows how much we care for him."

"I suppose you're right," Nathan replied. "And we're certainly lucky to have him too. I'm not sure this little heist would be possible without him."

"I suppose it wouldn't be," she said with a small smile. "I just hope he knows what he's doing."

Nathan raised a brow. "You're suddenly doubting his computer skills?"

She shook her head. "No, it's not that. I'm sure he'll be able to shut down the security system without any problems whatsoever. It's the fact _our_ time will be limited. And yes, I did remind him he has friends all over the Internex, but quite honestly, I can't think of a thing they could do. I almost wish we could give him permission for that virus."

"You don't mean that."

"Well, no, but if it would buy us more time, I'd be willing to take the blame. It's just the fact we're so close to the finish line. I don't want any more roadblocks."

"You seem to forget how creative Lucas can be. And he's got Bill. I thought that rat story was pretty creative. I mean, if he can fool the brass, I'm sure the two of them can distract the museum employees." Nathan reached over and put an arm around her shoulder. "I think you need to put a little faith in them."

"I'm trying," she insisted. "Perhaps it's just the thought of doing something illegal."

"Ah, ah, ah, not illegal, remember?"

She rolled her eyes. "Civil disobedience then. Either way, it's still a crime, even _if_ we have justification for doing so. I'm pretty sure such an argument doesn't hold water in court."

"Well, if we do get caught, at least you won't be alone."

"Forgive me if that doesn't exactly ease my mind," she said flatly. "I doubt they'd let us share a cell."

Nathan laughed. "We won't get caught. I'm sure Sylvia and the others have a few tricks up their sleeves to help us out. Just believe that."

"I'll try."

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Once they'd arrived at the museum a short time later, Nathan gave Lucas a call. Kristin tried to remain positive about this whole scenario, but she had a niggling feeling it wouldn't be as easy as everyone said. And when it came to Sylvia, nothing ever came easy, it seemed. She closed her eyes and said a silent prayer.

"…I'll text you in say…half an hour?" Nathan was still on the phone with Lucas. "Yes. Okay. Thanks, kiddo. See you later." He then turned to Kristin.

"Everything set?" she asked.

"It seems so. Lucas took your advice and contacted some of his Internex friends too."

Kristin breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank goodness. So what exactly is the plan now?"

"He wouldn't tell me," Nathan said with a shrug. "Apparently they think it's better for us if we don't know…in case we do get caught."

"Oh, that's reassuring," she muttered.

Nathan gave her shoulder a squeeze. "We're going to be fine. I just know it."

She nodded and tried to force a smile. "Sylvia will make sure of it, right?"

"She has every other time," Nathan reasoned. "Come on, let's go inside."

Once they stepped through the doors, however, Kristin did feel a bit more relaxed. After Nathan paid the admission, Kristin made a bee-line for the ocean exhibit they'd seen the last time.

Nathan quickened his pace to keep up with her. "You're a woman on a mission."

She stopped and turned back to him. "Sorry, I'm just eager. I'd forgotten about the fascinating display on oceanic bacteria, and I wanted to finish seeing it before…" She lowered her voice. "…we ran out of time."

He matched her tone. "Yes, but just remember we're supposed to act natural."

She gave a nod and looked around. Although the museum had quite a few visitors, no one seemed to pay much attention to them…and they needed to keep it that way. "Sorry, I was just excited."

"It's fine. We just don't need to act like there's a fire." He gave her a grin. "We'll have plenty of time to see your bacteria exhibit." He held out his hand. "Shall we?"

She accepted and gave him a smile in return. "Lead the way, Captain."

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Just as Kristin was reading the last plaque on the wall about oceanic bacteria, she felt Nathan's hand on her arm.

"Are you about ready? We do have _other_ exhibits to see," he told her.

She nodded. "I suppose so. How long have we been in here?"

"Nearly half an hour." He lowered his voice. "Lucas is waiting for my message."

She nodded. "Let's go then."

They walked to the Pearl Harbor exhibit in silence, and although Kristin tried to remain confident, she felt her nerves getting the better of her. As they stepped through the doors leading to the exhibit, she felt her breath catch in her throat and her knees grow weak. She leaned up against the wall and attempted to calm down.

Nathan was at her side in a moment. "Kristin?"

"I…I'm sorry. I'm just a little…"

"Excuse me?"

An unfamiliar voice behind them made her jump. They both turned their attention to see a young man in a security guard uniform.

"I'm terribly sorry for disturbing you," he continued, "but it's just that you look familiar. Weren't you in here recently? You fainted."

Kristin felt her cheeks grow warm. "Um, actually…"

"Yes," Nathan replied. "My wife has a little problem with agoraphobia, and her therapist suggested she try an activity she enjoys. She loves history, so we thought this would be the perfect place. Unfortunately, it didn't quite work out the last time, but we thought we'd try it again."

Kristin turned to him, her eyes wide. She had to bite down on her tongue so as not to protest.

The security guard nodded. "I was the one who called the paramedics last time," he explained as he held out his hand. "The name's Blake."

Kristin quickly found her voice as she took his hand. "I thank you kindly for your help then, Blake. I'm Pam, and this is…" She thought for a brief second. "Sam."

"Pam…and Sam," Blake repeated. "That's cute. Bet you guys get a lot of comments on that."

"Indeed," Nathan replied, giving Kristin a slight glare.

She ignored him and turned back to Blake. "We're not doing anything wrong, are we? I just needed a few moments before we see the exhibit."

"Oh, no, not at all. I just wanted to be sure you were feeling all right. I noticed your face pale from across the room."

She blushed again. "Well, there are quite a few people in here. It's a bit scary."

"Oh, but look, there are some who've already left," Blake said with a nod of his chin towards a group of people leaving the exhibit. "And that little old lady over there looks harmless."

She nodded and gave a small smile. "I suppose so. I assure you, I'm fine. This is…just a big step for me."

"I'm sure it is, but I'd say if you had the courage to come back, you're certainly making progress." He pointed to a podium in the corner. "My station is right over there if you need anything. Enjoy the exhibit."

"Thank you," Nathan and Kristin both said in unison.

As he walked away, Kristin grabbed Nathan's arm and pulled him to the other side of the room. "Agoraphobia, Nathan? Really?" Her lowered voice couldn't mask her anger.

"Hey, I thought it was a pretty good story to come up with on the spot. And what are you talking about, Miss Pam and Sam? Why didn't you just tell him our names were Bonnie and Clyde for goodness sake? I don't know why you had to give him fake names anyway."

"Who's the one who started fudging the truth first?" she shot back, suddenly realizing her voice had raised a level or two without her intention. She looked over Nathan's shoulder and noticed Blake looking over in their direction. She flashed him a smile and waved. She then moved closer to Nathan's ear. "If we're going to make this work, we need to stop lashing out at one another. We can't let anger get in the way."

Nathan nodded. "Agreed. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," she replied. "Did you send Lucas a message?"

He took out his phone. "I'm doing it now."

"Just how do you think this will work now that we're being watched?"

Nathan shrugged. "We just need to trust that they have a plan." He put an arm around her shoulders. "But for now, we're supposed to be viewing the exhibit. So we ought to get started, don't you think?"

She nodded and allowed him to usher her over to the wall where the photographs of Sylvia, Richard, and the others were. She shut her eyes tightly for a moment upon viewing the photograph that made her feel ill last time.

"I didn't know that Jack and Sylvia had met that early," Nathan whispered.

Kristin shrugged. "Neither did I. Sylvia never mentioned." She ran a hand along the plaque below it, reading quickly. "According to the caption, it was Richard's first political rally."

"Well, perhaps Jack and Sylvia didn't meet officially that day?"

She shrugged. "Perhaps not, but he's standing right behind them on stage. I'm sure they had to have at least said hello."

"Maybe it doesn't really matter when they'd met, though."

"I suppose not, but-"

At that moment, Nathan's phone beeped loudly, indicating a new message. He quickly read it, and then put the phone back in his pocket. "Five minutes," he whispered.

She nodded and turned toward the area dealing with Admiral Beatty. She hadn't noticed it the last time, but the display had been set up to look exactly like his office. And whoever had designed it had done a remarkably accurate job, even down to the lifelike mannequin. A shudder ran down her spine as she saw the desk sitting in the corner. She took note of the drawers. Three on each side. It should be fairly easy to find the letter then, she decided.

"You're standing a little too close."

She hadn't noticed Blake standing next to them. He motioned towards the stanchions that Kristin had been leaning over. "I'm sorry, but the area's roped off for a reason, and we ask that people don't cross them." He lowered his voice. "It might set off an alarm, and I certainly wouldn't want you fainting again."

Kristin obediently stepped back. "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't realize."

"It's quite all right," he replied. "I just wanted to be sure you knew. I'll leave you two alone now. Enjoy the rest of your stay here."

"That was close," she muttered to Nathan. "Has it been five minutes yet?"

Nathan shrugged. "I really haven't been checking the time. Just be patient."

Suddenly, the lights in the area dimmed.

"Thank goodness," Kristin breathed, turning her eyes to Blake. _If he'd just go away…_

As if the universe were answering her, Blake's radio on his hip went off. He immediately answered it, and although Kristin strained to hear what they were saying, the voices were too low. However, the fact that Blake quickly hurried out of the area was a godsend.

"I'd say now's your chance," Nathan said, giving her a gentle push.

Kristin looked around and noticed that the older woman that had been in the area was no longer there. They were indeed alone. She pulled back the ribbon attached to the stanchion and stepped through, pausing for a moment and half-expecting an alarm to sound.

When nothing happened, she took a deep breath and made her way to the desk, quickly pulling out each drawer and searching for a false bottom. But as she frantically went through every drawer, she found none of them had such a thing.

"How are you doing?"

"Nathan, it…it's not here. I can't find it." She was nearly in tears. They'd been so close, and now they seemed so far away. "I…I just can't believe it."

Another buzz of the phone made her jump. She looked up to see Nathan standing next to her. "There has to be something we're missing."

She shook her head. "I don't see how. I've searched through every drawer." She paused. "Was that Lucas again?"

He nodded. "I'm not quite sure what he meant, but he said we're about to get more time." He examined the desk carefully. "My grandfather had a desk like this. Old-fashioned roll-up top just like this," he noted. "He kept it locked because on the inside was a drawer where he kept his pipe tobacco. He didn't want us kids to find it." He pointed to the lock on the front of the desk. "Do you think…?"

"It seems to be the only option."

Suddenly, the lights went out completely. It took a moment for Kristin's eyes to adjust. "What do you suppose happened?" she whispered to Nathan.

"I'd say that was Lucas buying us more time." He moved to look out through the doorway. "The rest of the museum is dark as well."

" _Ladies and gentleman,"_ an announcement sounded over the PA system, " _we appear to be in the midst of a power outage. Please stay where you are and one of our museum personnel will usher you safely out of the building. We apologize for the inconvenience._ "

"Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be a key," Kristin muttered as Nathan moved to her side once again.

"We also don't have much time," Nathan replied, looking over his shoulder as he heard voices in the corridor. "That sounds like our security guard friend; I've a feeling this is his next stop."

Kristin bit her lip as she thought for a moment. "You go on ahead, and I'll meet you."

"What? But what do I do if he asks-"

She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You'll think of something… _Sam_." She then pulled the pins from her hair. "I need just a little time to get this unlocked."

As she began picking the lock, a beam of light shone towards them. Nathan immediately pushed her down below the desk.

"Sam? Pam? Are you still in here?"

"I'll see you outside," Nathan whispered to her as he walked towards Blake's voice. "I'm here. My wife is in the restroom."

"We'll find her," Blake assured him. "Follow me, and I'll help you outside."

Kristin watched them both leave the area. When she was sure she was alone once again, she moved to pick the lock with her hairpin once again. Unfortunately, it seemed even darker than it had been before, and she had to do everything by touch. As she moved the pin around, she whispered, "Please, let this work."

Her heart sank as nothing happened. Not only that, she heard more voices in the corridor, calling to see if anyone was left in the museum. She took a deep breath and tried once again. "Sylvia, Jack…anyone? If you're out there, please. Just make this work."

Suddenly, she heard a promising click and her hand pushed up on the roll-up door, moving it slightly. She suppressed her cry of joy as she moved her hand around to find a small drawer. "Oh, please have a false bottom," she whispered as she felt around to find the bottom of the drawer easily slipped away. She immediately felt an envelope and didn't waste any time. She quickly stuffed the envelope under her shirt, put the drawer back as it was, and pulled the door back down. She then made a beeline for the bathroom, which was around the corner.

Once inside, she did her best to calm her pounding heart, taking several deep breaths. She wasn't sure how much time had passed before the door opened, and a flashlight beam shone in her face.

"Ma'am?" a female security guard called. "Your husband sent us to look for you. Are you all right?"

She nodded. "I…I'm fine. I just wasn't sure what happened."

"Just a little power outage. Come on, and I'll help you get outside."

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The moment he saw her step outside, Nathan ran to meet her and wrapped her in his arms. "I was so worried about you. Are you all right?"

She nodded against is shoulder. "I'm fine," she whispered. "And I got what we need. We did it."


	64. For All The Life We've Had

**December 15, 2019**

Sylvia knelt down by the stream, a sigh of relief escaping her. She loved being with Rebecca, Mary, and the others, but honestly, she'd been with them a little _too_ much lately. She needed some time to herself. Not only that, she knew today was a very important day. She trembled with joy at the thought. She and Jack would be together soon…after all this time.

"Sylvia?"

Sylvia turned around to see the sweet, angelic face of Alice.

"Why are you out here all by yourself?" she asked her. "I've been looking all over for you. Don't you know what day it is?"

"Of course I do, dear," Sylvia replied. She dipped her hand into the soothing water and picked a lily. She then wove it into Alice's hair. "I just needed a little time by myself, that's all. It's a lot to take in. Of course, I'm very excited. It's something we've all been waiting for. It's just…" She trailed off as she averted her gaze.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, dear," Sylvia replied, putting on a smile for her benefit. "Why don't you run along to the others, and I'll meet you later?"

Alice eyed her for several seconds before she turned away from her. "You know, if you miss her, why don't you just say so? You know she wants to see you too. I've heard her calling you. We all have."

"It doesn't work like that, and you know it."

Alice turned back to her and gave a roll of her eyes. "I know…the rules. But when has that stopped you before?"

"But this is different. If I don't listen, they could…"

"What? What could they really do to you? It certainly couldn't be any worse than what we've all been through."

Sylvia raised an eyebrow. "When did you get so wise?"

"I'm older than I look, remember?" the girl replied with a smile. She paused for a moment. "So are you going to go see her?"

"Sylvia! We've been looking all over for you," Rebecca said, coming up to them, Mary and Amelia on her heels. "Why did you run off?" She then looked at Alice. "And you were supposed to tell us the moment you found her, remember?"

"She only just got here," Sylvia said, putting an arm around Alice's shoulder. "As for me, I just needed some time away for a bit."

Rebecca gave a shrug. "Well, I suppose I can understand that. Unfortunately, you don't have time to dawdle. You have an appointment."

"But I was hoping I could watch-"

"There will be plenty of time, I assure you," Rebecca replied.

"Could I have just a few more minutes?"

Rebecca thought for a moment. "I suppose, but no more than five minutes." She turned and motioned for the others to follow her.

Sylvia, however, placed a hand on Alice's shoulder. "I'd like you to stay."

Alice's brow rose as she opened her mouth to speak.

Sylvia placed a finger to her lips. "I need your help," she whispered. "I might not have time to break the rules, but _you_ could. How would you like to see Kristin again?"

Alice grinned. "Does that mean I get to go to Earth?"

"For a little while, yes. I need you to deliver a message for me." She then took her ring out of her pocket. "And I'd like you to give her this. She's been looking for it."

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"…Now, I'd like to read a quote from Henry Scott Holland. Death is nothing at all. It does not count. I have only slipped away into the next room. Nothing has happened. Everything remains exactly as it was. I am I, and you are you, and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still…"

Kristin dabbed at her eyes with a tissue as a shaky breath passed her lips. She hadn't quite expected the feelings that still overwhelmed her. Yes, she'd been emotional over the past weeks, but it had already been made clear to her that Sylvia was gone, that she was where she needed to be. She'd assumed she'd crossed over, just as Kimberly had said she would.

For Kristin, however, perhaps it was the fact this chapter of her life was finally over? Perhaps they were tears of joy rather than sadness?

She gave a small shake of her head. She knew that wasn't the case. She still felt so…empty. She was indeed sad, sad that she was finally saying goodbye to Sylvia for good. Well, at least until she entered the afterlife herself, which she hoped was still many years away. The fact she'd never get to see her again still weighed heavily on her, though she had tried to mask it; however, there were so many things going on to keep her mind occupied, she hadn't time to think about her sadness.

Yesterday was full of funeral preparations. Admiral Noyce had been a tremendous help, and Kristin was surprised at the great lengths he took to ensure Sylvia had a proper burial…next to Jack. It didn't take him long to discover that Jack's final resting place was the National Memorial Cemetery, as were many other soldiers of the time. Not only that, Bill insisted on presiding over the ceremony.

Detectives Jordan and Palea and the rest of the forensic department had been more than generous in helping provide flowers and a headstone, based on her specifications.

Then of course, Nathan and the others had been extremely supportive. As a sob escaped her throat, she felt Nathan's arms go around her. He hadn't left her side since they'd arrived at the cemetery as the rest of the crew sat behind them, all in their dress blues. She thought that was sweet. She hadn't even expected them to attend, but they said they had wanted to…for her.

And of course, the very reason any of this had been possible: Admiral Beatty's letter. Kristin had opted not to read it before they presented it to the police. She had still been unsure how a single letter was meant to solve Sylvia's murder, but the moment that Detective Jordan read it, Kristin then understood.

" _Where did you get this?" he'd asked._

_Kristin exchanged a glance with Nathan, unsure of what to say._

" _It sort of fell into our laps," Nathan answered for her. "We thought you should be the first to see it."_

_The detective gave a nod before reading it aloud._

" _To whom it may concern,_

_I've done something terrible. Not only that, I'm too much of a coward to admit my guilt forthright. I was sworn to secrecy and stupidly agreed, against my better judgment._

_But my guilt has consumed me. This is something I've kept secret for far too long, and I must tell someone in hopes they will find this letter, in hopes everyone will know the horrible thing I have done._

_Secretary General William Franklin (Frank) Knox and I, Admiral Frank Edmund Beatty, Jr. are guilty of murder. We killed Sylvia Mayfield. She may have died by the secretary general's hand, but I am just as guilty since I did nothing to stop it. We were more worried about our careers, our reputations. We did it to protect everything we held precious. I see now what an egregious mistake that was._

_I know this has hurt everyone involved and will hurt even more people when and if the truth ever comes out. I only pray the Lord will give us the punishment we deserve."_

Even after the letter had been read, Kristin wasn't positive they'd believe it, but since they had nothing to gain by forging such a letter and an expert was able to vouch for the age of the letter, everything lined up.

"…I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner. All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before. How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!"

Whatever Bill said after that was lost as Kristin sobbed quietly, unable to focus any longer. She silently hoped the ceremony wouldn't last much longer. She wanted to get away, wanted to forget everything. Nathan tightened his hold on her and whispered to her in gentle tones. A grateful sigh left her lips as she heard the casket being lowered into the ground. It was nearly over.

The moment it had ended, Kristin quietly excused herself. She could feel Nathan's concerned gaze at her back, but she was grateful he didn't follow her. He must have sensed she needed a little time away. She stopped beneath a large tree, leaning her back against it and taking several deep breaths. She didn't know how long she'd stayed there, but she guessed it had to have been ten minutes or even longer because Nathan finally appeared before her. He patiently waited for her to speak, worry written all over his face.

"I'm fine," she said quietly. "I just needed to get away."

He gave a nod. "I figured that. Are you…all right with everything?"

"I…I'm not sure," she replied, taking a step towards him. "I thought I was. I thought once we found the letter, everything would just…" She let out a sigh. "It's silly of me really. I just thought everything would magically fall back into place. And yesterday, I was really too busy to even think about it. And now…"

"It's back to reality?"

"Exactly."

Nathan didn't say a word. Instead, he opened his arms, to which Kristin gratefully accepted.

"I know there's nothing I can say to make this better," he finally said, "except that it'll get better with time."

"I…I know. I guess I just didn't expect to still be so…upset over this. It's not the fact she died. We knew that from the very beginning. It's more the fact that I never got to say goodbye…properly."

"I'm sure Sylvia knows how you feel."

"She might, but it's not quite the same."

Nathan simply hugged her tighter, and the two stayed that way for several minutes before Nathan gently broke the hug. "Do you think you'd like to say a final goodbye…for yourself?"

Kristin cast a glance back towards the gravesite. "I suppose it might be a good idea."

Nathan offered his arm and led her back towards the grave.

Kristin noticed that everyone had left rather quickly. The rest of the _seaQuest_ crew must have gone back to the hotel, and the detectives had left to do what they needed. The only ones left were the cemetery personnel.

"I'm supposed to tell you that the detectives wanted to be sure you saw the epitaph they'd written," Nathan told her.

Kristin's eyebrows knitted together as she knelt down before the headstone. She had requested that Sylvia have an angel. She thought it was fitting after all this, only she really hadn't a chance to examine it closely until now.

Atop Sylvia's headstone was a large carved stone female angel, its beautiful face upturned towards the Heavens. Kristin ran a hand down one of the exquisitely carved wings until she reached the bottom of the headstone, which listed the usual information. But beneath all that was carved: _Our concrete angel._

A hand rose to her mouth as she felt tears spring to her eyes.

Nathan knelt down next to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "It's fitting, isn't it?"

She nodded. "It…it is. I couldn't have asked for more."

"The detectives will be happy to hear that. Um, would you like a few minutes?"

She forced her tears back and gave a nod. "That would be lovely."

"I won't go too far," Nathan said, giving her shoulder a squeeze and then walking away.

Kristin turned back to the headstone before her. "Oh, Sylvia…" she whispered. "I…I never dreamed when we'd found that chest what would happen. I know I complained an awful lot, but…I have to say, I don't think I'd change a single moment. I am so grateful, and I…I'm truly going to miss you. I wish…I could see you one last time."

Several minutes passed as Kristin hoped for some sort of sign, some sort of miracle, but nothing happened. She was about to stand and walk back to Nathan when she suddenly heard something strange: a child's laughter. She turned her head in the direction of the sound and saw a little girl running in between the headstones.

She stood and turned to Nathan, who was sitting down in the chairs that were still set up around the gravesite. "Did you see her earlier?" she asked, motioning to the girl.

He shook his head. "An awfully strange playground for a child, isn't it?"

Kristin scanned the area for signs of the child's parents but didn't see anyone. "You don't suppose she's lost, do you?"

Nathan gave a shrug. "Something tells me you're going to find out, though."

"We can't just leave. I don't see an adult near her. I just need to be sure. Are you coming with me?"

"Of course; lead the way."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

They were just a short distance away from where the girl was playing when Kristin stopped short.

"What's wrong?" Nathan asked.

"Well, I don't want to scare her off," Kristin replied. "Two strange adults walking up to a child by herself? What if she thinks we're trying to hurt her?"

"Kristin, she's a girl alone in a cemetery. Considering the places she picks to play, I don't think we'll scare her."

She let out a sigh. "Well, I don't want to startle her."

"Just keep your hands where she can see them, and everything will be fine," Nathan told her.

She shot him a glare in response; the girl, however, seemed oblivious to it all as she ran in between headstones, playing some sort of game and laughing. Not only that, Kristin noticed there was something strangely familiar about the child in question, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Perhaps she'd seen her the day they'd gone to the museum? She couldn't see her face very well, so it was difficult to tell. After watching her for a few more minutes, Kristin decided to make a move.

"Excuse me? Are you lost by chance?"

The girl stopped and walked closer to them, letting out another laugh that sounded like tinkling bells. "I don't think so," she said.

Kristin gasped. "Alice?"

"A friend of yours?" Nathan asked.

Kristin nodded. "I'm sorry; I suppose this seems a little strange," she told him. "I promise I'll explain everything later, but could we have a few moments?"

"Nothing seems strange anymore," Nathan assured her. "I'll just go sit over there. Take all the time you need."

As soon as Nathan left, Kristin knelt in front of Alice. "What are you doing here?"

"Are you surprised?" the child asked. "I hoped you would be."

"Yes, I am very surprised," Kristin assured her. "But, sweetie, how did you get here?"

"Don't you remember? It wasn't that long ago." Alice then nodded her head towards Nathan. "He seems nice…very handsome, too."

Kristin blushed. "Yes, he is very nice, but you need to focus, please, dear. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be…well…?"

Alice laughed and gave a nod. "Except I'm on a mission."

"A mission?"

"Yes…for Sylvia." She dug in the pocket on the front of her dress. "She told me to bring this to you. She wanted to come here herself, but she was…detained. I don't know if she'll be able to see you like she wanted to."

Kristin took the ring from her. "You…you mean she was going to come here?"

"She wanted to come say goodbye, but she had an appointment. It's not exactly something she can miss." She then took a note from her pocket. "She was hoping to be able to tell you all this in person, but-"

"Kristin?"

Both Kristin and Alice turned to see a familiar-looking face.

"Sylvia?"

Alice ran to her and wrapped her arms around the woman's waist. "Oh, Sylvia, I'm so glad you made it. I did what you asked."

Sylvia smiled. "Yes, you did, and I'm very grateful. Why don't you give Kristin and me a little privacy, okay?"

Alice nodded and began to run off.

"But don't go too far," Sylvia warned.

"I won't," Alice promised.

Sylvia then turned back to Kristin. "I'm terribly sorry for just leaving you like that, but I…I didn't have a choice."

Kristin nodded. "It's all right. I was hoping I'd get to see you. I had a lot of questions…"

"I know, but I did what I could for you. I understand you and Frank had an interesting conversation."

"Yes, and I appreciate you sending him…only he couldn't answer everything." She paused. "Are you finally happy?"

Sylvia smiled. "Kristin, I couldn't be any happier. You've finally gave me peace. You helped me remember what it was like to love and be loved. This wasn't just about lessons for you, Nathan, and the others. This was about lessons for me too."

Kristin's brow furrowed in question.

"I think it's clear I had to learn to forgive just as much as you did," she replied. "And I learned something else…that my death, though tragic, did something wonderful…for everyone. Look at the connections that grew in my absence. I began to see the world in a different way. I began to see the beauty and the joy and the love. Yes, I paid a hefty price for it all, but I wouldn't have it any other way now."

Kristin pondered on this for a few minutes. "And Jack?"

"We'll be together very soon. This is just my last stop."

She held up the ring. "You had this the whole time?"

"I had it on when I died. After Richard had given to me, I'd slipped it on, not really sure what to do with it. And…well, you know what happened after that. I don't really need it anymore, though, and I'd like you to have it…to remember me by."

"I don't think I'll ever forget you," Kristin replied, her voice thick with emotion.

"I know you won't. Just remember I'll always be with you."

Kristin nodded. "There were some other things that happened along the way, things I'm not sure have an explanation…"

"You should know after all this, not everything has a concrete answer, dear. Just call it a little help from beyond the grave. We have our ways." She then took something else from her pocket: a string of pearls. "And these are for Ben," Sylvia replied. "I know you promised him some treasure of sorts."

Kristin laughed. "I'm sure he'll appreciate these."

Sylvia placed her arms around her then. "We don't have much time."

"I…I'm going to miss you."

"I know, honey, but you're going to be fine. We'll see one another again someday. You have a long and happy life ahead of you. Go embrace it."

Kristin wrapped her arms tightly around her. "Thank you."

"No, thank you," Sylvia said as she broke the hug. "Alice, sweetie, it's almost time."

Alice ran back to them, hugging Kristin tightly. "I'm glad I got to see you again."

"Me, too, honey," Kristin whispered.

"Remember what I told you?" Sylvia asked, looking at Alice.

"That we'll all be together again one day."

Sylvia nodded. "But for now, we need to let Kristin live her life now."

"Goodbye, Kristin," Alice said, waving to her.

"Goodbye," Kristin replied.

"Good luck with everything, Kristin," Sylvia said as she took Alice's hand in hers. And in an instant, they were gone.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Did everything go all right?" Nathan asked when he saw Kristin coming towards him.

She nodded. "Everything's fine. I'll tell you about it a little later?"

"Tired?"

She shook her head. "Just eager to get home."

"We can arrange that," Nathan told her. "We just need to go finish packing."

"Then let's not waste another minute."


	65. And We'll Remember When

The moment she stepped through the door of her quarters, Kristin breathed a sigh of relief. "I was beginning to think I'd never see this place again," she gushed.

Nathan gave her a smile. "Well, now you can put that worry to rest, hm? Uh, where would you like your bags?"

"Just set them down in the corner," she said, motioning with her hand. "I suppose I'll spend the rest of the day unpacking."

"As long as you remember to rest. We might be back here to work, but that doesn't mean you." Nathan gave her a look.

She gave him a mock salute. "Aye, Captain. I'll be good."

"Unfortunately, being back here means I need to be on the bridge."

"I understand," she replied, taking a seat on her bunk. "I'll be fine."

"But as soon as I get a free moment, I'll stop by, perhaps accompany you to the mess hall?" he suggested.

"I'd like that, but you don't need to be so…concerned about me anymore. Not that I don't appreciate it. It's just…"

Nathan put his hands on her arms. "I know; I'm sorry. Just get some rest. See you later."

"Later," she replied as Nathan walked out the door.

Kristin lay back on her pillow. Perhaps a little nap wasn't such a bad idea after all.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

A knock on her door roused her out of a pleasant sleep. She yawned as she arched her back and stretched. "It's open," she called.

When the door opened, Ben stuck his head inside. "Sorry, were you asleep?"

She waved a hand. "I was just having a little catnap, but I think I've slept enough, thank you."

"Well, the captain sent me to check on you," Ben explained.

Kristin smiled, giving a shake of her head. "He just won't quit, will he?"

"But you certainly can't blame him for it."

"I know, I don't," she replied. "I just don't need to be fawned over. However, while you're here…" She walked towards one of her bags and dug in the pocket. "I have a little present for you." She handed him the string of pearls.

Ben's eyes grew large as he held them in his hand. "Wait a minute. Are these…?"

"A present from Sylvia," she said with a nod. "You were promised treasure after all, and she feels you need them more than she does. I've thanked her for you."

"Doc…are you _sure_ you want me to have these?"

Kristin placed a hand on his forehead. "Are _you_ sure you're the real Ben Krieg? The old Ben would have never looked a gift horse in the mouth."

Ben shrugged. "I guess I've…matured over the past few weeks. Besides, I think Sylvia is more important to you than the rest of us."

"You're not the only one who received a present," she said, patting his arm gently. "And it was Sylvia's wish; I'd never stand in the way of that. You do want them, don't you?"

Ben gave her a grin. "Of course I do. I might have matured, but I still like money."

"Enjoy them then."

Ben stuffed the pearls in his pocket. "So, you'd really rather be alone?"

"I don't mind the company at all," she assured him. "Believe you me, in a few days, I'll probably be begging you to spend time with me. I'll be going stir crazy."

"How long is your jail sentence?"

Kristin laughed. "I'm not sure. I'm surprised Joshua hasn't stopped by yet, but I suppose the science labs are a disaster about now." She let out a sigh. "And those reef classifications…I'm not sure we'll have much time for those now."

"What do you mean?"

"The weeks off in Pearl were supposed to be for the classifications. Obviously, it didn't work out that way. Joshua has his own experiments to conduct, and with him handling medbay and the science labs… Well, I'm afraid my funding will fall through now."

"You mean you're giving up just like that?"

Kristin crossed her arms. "What choice do I have? I promised I wouldn't work until Dr. Levin cleared me. And quite frankly, I'm grateful for the time. I think I'm going to need it. I'm still quite tired after everything."

"I can take care of that."

"What?"

"Your reef classifications. I can help you do them."

Kristin shook her head. "Oh, Mr. Krieg, I don't know. I mean, that's very sweet of you to offer, but it's not as simple as it sounds."

"What about Lucas?"

"What about Lucas? He has his _own_ work to do," she replied. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make you feel you had to do something about it. I was just venting. Please, just forget I said anything. There's plenty of time until the end of the tour. There will be other reefs, other classifications, all right?"

Ben nodded. "Whatever you say."

"No, you need to promise me you won't interfere, got it? Everyone has enough to do, and I feel bad enough as it is that they have to do my work on top of theirs. As much as it pains me, there just isn't time for the classifications now."

"All right, all right; I promise," Ben told her.

"Thank you," she replied. "Now, if you'd like to stay, that's fine; I don't mind. I'm sure we could find something entertaining. But I think I'm just going to unpack, so I don't really need a babysitter."

Ben shook his head. "No, I won't bug you. But if you need anything, you know how to get a hold of me."

"Of course. Thank you, Ben."

"Anytime, Doc. See you later."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"…so I thought we could do the classifications for her," Ben explained to Lucas.

Lucas raised an eyebrow as he turned the vocoder off and turned to Ben. "Did Dr. Westphalen actually ask you to do this?"

Ben hesitated. "What does it matter what she asked or didn't ask? I just thought it was something nice we could do for her while she's on lock down. You know losing all this research is killing her."

"You know if she didn't approve this, she's going to kill _you_ , don't you?"

"I had my fingers crossed behind my back when she made me promise not to do it," Ben explained. "But you weren't there. You didn't see the look on her face. She's going to be so happy when we get it done for her, she'll forget she's angry in the first place." Ben placed his hands on his shoulders. "Lucas, come on, you know she'll love it when we tell her."

"Yeah, but Dr. Levin's already got a long list of things for me to do, starting with the vocoder," he said, motioning towards the device lying on the edge of the moon pool. "Seems the geomagnetic activity also fried its motherboard."

"But you're a genius, right?"

"Well, I don't like to brag," Lucas said with a smirk.

"I mean, it won't take you long, right?"

Lucas shrugged. "Could be a few days."

"And what about after you're off-duty?"

"You want me to-"

"Shh!" Ben said. "Lower your voice."

Lucas obediently did so. "You want me to give up my free time?"

"For the doc," Ben reminded. "I can't do this alone. I don't know the first thing about classifying specimens."

Lucas crossed his arms. "Fine…on one condition. You bring me extra bodies."

"What?"

"I'm sure the others might want to help on this, right? You get more people involved, the faster we get it done."

"Fine, but no word of this to the doctor or the captain, got it?"

"Got it."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Later that evening, another knock sounded at Kristin's door. She'd had visitors coming and going all day, only none of them were Nathan. She did hope it was him this time since her stomach had been complaining for over an hour, and she didn't want to eat without him. She quickly made her way to the door.

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" Nathan asked as he stepped inside.

"Oh, of course not. I was wondering if they'd kept you after school," she teased gently.

He laughed softly. "I had to bang erasers and wash the chalkboards, but the teacher let me go early on good behavior." He sighed. "I'm sorry I made you wait so long. The bridge was a madhouse."

"It's all right; I can imagine. I'm sure it's the same in the lab."

"Joshua hasn't stopped by?"

"Oh, he did, and he told me things were going wonderfully, but naturally, I didn't believe him." She let out a sigh.

"You're not feeling guilty, are you?"

"No, not guilty exactly. I just wish I wasn't so…restricted. I am perfectly capable of-"

Nathan held up a finger. "No, you are not perfectly capable. You're still healing."

She sighed. "Yes, I know, but keeping busy would help me keep my mind off of things."

"Did Joshua say when?"

She shook her head. "He says we can talk about that after I see the new doctor he's bring on board, who should be here in a few days."

"Are you nervous?"

"Not really. I suppose it will help me…" She lowered her gaze. "…deal with my fears and anxieties."

Nathan put an arm around her. "Are you all right?"

She nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. Just…overwhelmed a bit…and hungry."

"I can fix that," he told her. "I have dinner waiting for us."

She raised an eyebrow. "Really? I thought the bridge was a madhouse?"

"It was. It doesn't mean I don't have my connections, though," He held out his arm. "Shall we?"

"Of course," she replied, allowing him to lead her out into the hallway.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"Close your eyes."

"Nathan, I thought we were just going to the mess hall?" she protested.

"Change of plans. Please, just close your eyes?" He was sure to stick his bottom lip out just a touch.

"You're just lucky you're so cute when you do that," she replied before obediently closing her eyes.

"Just keep them closed," he told her as he led her onto C deck. "Just a little further." He led her to a small table and chairs he'd had set up near the moon pool and helped her sit. "Okay, you can open them."

Kristin did so, and a hand rose to her mouth as she let out a soft gasp. Nathan had the moon pool area transformed to look like a Hawaiian paradise of sorts with electric torches and colored lights, and various Hawaiian-themed decorations. "Oh, Nathan, _when_ did you have time to do this?"

"I already told you, I have connections. Do you like it?" he asked, sitting across from her.

"Oh, yes, I love it. Why did you go to all this trouble, though? You didn't need to."

He shrugged. "I thought you deserved something a little special after everything. It's the least I could do."

Suddenly, they heard a familiar squeak, and they both turned to see Darwin sticking his head out of the moon pool.

Kristin smiled and went over to him. "I guess you thought I deserved something special too, hm?"

The dolphin nuzzled her hand and whistled softly.

Nathan put an arm around her shoulders. "Sure is good to be home, isn't it?"

"You can say that again," she replied.

"Come on, the food's getting cold," Nathan told her.

Kristin gave Darwin one more gentle pat on his head before turning to go back to the table.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

"…so it seems Bill wasn't joking about a pink room after all," Nathan replied with a laugh. "Only it's the captain's head, not my quarters."

Kristin giggled.

"You think it's funny, do you?" Nathan teased.

"A little, yes," she replied between laughs. She reached a hand across the table. "I promise I'll help you repaint it."

Nathan shook his head. "There's no need. It's already being done as we speak. But this isn't over between Bill and me. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and he'll be getting a nasty chill soon enough, believe you me."

She smiled. "I'm sure he will. I'd just appreciate it if you'd leave me out of it. After everything he's done for me, I don't think I could attempt to do anything harmful towards him."

"No one said anything about harm." Nathan gave her a wink. "But I promise, I'll keep it to myself."

"Well, that lobster was delicious," she replied, pushing her plate away gently. "But I couldn't eat another bite."

Nathan raised a brow. "So no desert?"

"Well…maybe a little bite," she replied. "What is it?"

"Your favorite," Nathan replied. "Lemon meringue pie."

She laughed. "You know I have more than one favorite, but I do love lemon meringue."

"I know you do." He placed a slice in front of her. "We could share if you like."

"Sounds wonderful," she replied, picking up her fork when she heard footsteps behind her. She looked at Nathan, whose gaze was focused on whomever it was; she then turned to see Ben.

"Mr. Krieg?"

"Uh, hi," he said sheepishly. "I didn't mean… I didn't know anyone would be here this time of night."

"It's all right," Nathan replied, "but my question is what are _you_ doing here this time of night?"

"Um…"

"Ben?" Nathan said, standing to walk towards him. "You look like you're hiding something."

"N-not exactly. It…it was a surprise for the doc."

"Surprise for me? What are you talking about?" Kristin asked as she appeared behind Nathan.

"Ben, what are you doing-" Katie stopped short when she saw the captain and doctor. "Oh…good evening, you two."

"Commander, would you like to enlighten me why you were coming out of the science lab?" Nathan asked, crossing his arms across his chest.

"We were…um…" she began, looking at Ben.

Ben sighed, holding up his hands. "I think you two had better come with me."

"But, Ben," Katie said.

"I know, but they may as well know about it now," he told her. He turned to lead the way into the lab as the others followed behind him.

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

The first thing Kristin noticed was all her reef specimens lying neatly next to one another on one of the worktables. All of the senior staff was seated near the table, but as soon as they saw the captain, they all stood at attention.

"Captain?" Commander Ford said. "What…what are you doing here?"

"I might ask you all the same thing," Nathan replied. "What is going on here?"

"Look, Cap, I can explain," Lucas replied, pushing past the others. "You see, Ben had this idea…"

"Ben, tell me you didn't," Kristin said, finally realizing what was going on. She turned to Nathan. "They thought they'd help me catalog the reef specimens so I wouldn't lose the funding."

"Yeah, and it would have worked, too, only I didn't know the captain would be serving you dinner right next door," Ben replied.

"Yes, but you _promised_ ," she insisted. "I told you I didn't want you to worry about it."

"That was your mistake," Katie piped up. "You never ask Ben to make a promise; he always crosses his fingers."

Kristin eyed him carefully. "Is this true, Mr. Krieg?"

"Guilty as charged," he muttered. He then moved to the table to hand her a stack of papers. "We were going to wrap this up like a present with a big bow when it was all finished, but you've gone and spoiled the surprise." He gave her a wink.

Kristin began looking through the papers. They'd done at least half of the work already.

"When Ben told us," Tim offered, "we all wanted to do it for you. We're happy to keep going, if you'll let us."

"Yeah," Jonathan agreed, "it might take us a few days, but we'll get it all done. Lucas is an excellent teacher."

"And I decided it was about time we take a more active role in your research," Ben added.

Kristin felt tears prick the corners of her eyes as she let out a sigh.

"You're not angry, are you, Doc?" Lucas asked.

"How in the world could I be angry? This is the sweetest thing you could have done for me. I can't believe you'd sacrifice your free time for me."

"You've sacrificed so much for us," Katie said. "We thought it was only right we pay it back."

"Yeah," Ben agreed. "We're a family, and that's what we do: take care of each other."

Kristin moved to wrap her arms around him. "All I can say is thank you. You all are wonderful."

"Well," Nathan finally said, "it seems we'll leave you alone then. Good work, people."

"Just be sure to clean up the mess when you're finished," Kristin added.

"No problem, Doc."

Nathan put an arm around Kristin's shoulders. "Well, how about I walk you back to your room then?"

"That sounds lovely."

But at that moment, Lucas came up behind them. "Uh, Doc, Captain?"

"Yes, dear?" Kristin said.

"I wanted to let you know my mother called me earlier..." He grinned slightly. "And she invited me home…well, to her home…for the holidays."

"Oh, Lucas, that's wonderful," Kristin replied.

"Glad to hear it," Nathan added.

"Yeah, well, my mom hasn't invited me for Christmas…well, since she and my dad split up. I don't know how you two did it, but I know you had something to do with it."

"Lucas, I have no idea what you mean."

"We did nothing."

"And you're both modest, too," Lucas said. "Um, maybe you can work on my dad next?"

"We'll see what we can do," Nathan assured him.

Lucas then moved to give them both tight hugs. "Thanks again, guys; I love you."

"We love you too, Lucas," Kristin whispered into his ear. "Don't stay up too late now."

"I won't," he replied. "Sleep well."

_-sQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQsQ-_

Once Kristin walked into her room, she let out a happy sigh. "Well, that was quite the interesting evening."

"Indeed. Not what you expected, hm?"

"Oh, it was better," she gushed as she moved to place a kiss to his cheek.

"What was that for?"

"For the dinner, silly," she told him. "Will there be a repeat performance?"

He smiled. "I might have a few more tricks up my sleeve, but we don't want to wear out the surprises in one week, do we?"

She shook her head. "Of course not."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," she replied with a smile.

"How are you really feeling about Sylvia and everything else?"

She thought for a moment before taking a deep breath. "I really feel happy. Oh, it was difficult to say goodbye, but I know she's where she needs to be." She placed a hand on Nathan's arm. "And so am I."

"And you still have her with you," Nathan replied, motioning towards the locket around her neck.

"Actually, no."

"What?"

She opened the locket. "I've replaced the pictures. I do care about her, but I care about a few others just a bit more."

Nathan examined the tiny photographs carefully. On one side was a picture of Cynthia, Kristin's daughter. On the other were a photo of Lucas and him. He looked at her, questions in his eyes.

"I just need a little time," she reminded him. "But it doesn't mean I don't care about you." She then reached into her pocket and pulled out Sylvia's ring. "But honestly, I think it's about time I put Sylvia to rest." She walked to her jewelry box, which sat atop her dresser, and opened it. She then placed the ring inside and closed it. "I'll never forget her," she told him.

"I don't think any of us will. I'm very proud of you, Kris."

"The feeling's mutual, Nathan," she replied softly. She then stood on her toes and placed a gentle kiss to his lips. "Sleep well."

"You, too. If you need anything…"

"I won't hesitate to call," she promised. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said before walking out the door.

Kristin let out a soft sigh. "Goodnight, Sylvia. Thank you for everything."


End file.
